Thursday, April 5, 2012

Choosing victimhood (or not)

From a reader:


You've helped me a great deal in the past when I was having to deal with my ex-husband. Your advice is golden and we're on good terms probably because you have showed me through your site exactly where he is coming from. We now get along better than we ever did when we were married.

I've been working with a psychologist who specializes in personality disorders and I talk to women who have been involved with sociopaths. Largely they are very unwilling to step out of the victim's role, which I think is the only way to recover from being taken for such a ride. I think much of the damage they suffer from has come from having someone torn out of their life so harshly. The unanimous advice when it comes from recovering from a sociopath is "run and don't look back".

This way of approaching the situation creates either a victim or something to be chased, neither of which seem productive to anyone involved.  The small few willing to try a new route and learn about this way of thinking benefit greatly whether they remain in contact with their sociopath or not. Unlike those who readily accept the victim's mentality, they learn a new value system and can appreciate in themselves what the sociopath saw in them. They learn to once again value the person and not reduce them to a label like what goes on at the lovefraud website.

I always encourage women to keep their sociopaths in their lives if they think they can handle it. This involves accepting them for who they are and not expecting typical reactions or relying on areas that have previously been problems (I will never again count on my ex-husband to be on time with his payments or expect that he will not cheat on his current and future spouses). I've never seen a sociopath "get fixed" (I personally don't think anything is broken) but I have seen the positive effects of having someone who understands and can help re-direct potentially dangerous energy.

I completely reject that sociopaths don't have feelings, I think they have more intense emotions than empaths because they are entirely their own, not diluted by whatever else is around. It is harder to create an emotion entirely from scratch than to just pick up on someone else's and add to it, so these true emotions are much more rare. If you allow a sociopath to be himself, you get to be part of all of this. This is one of the reasons I prefer to be around such company. I think it's entirely possible to create a mutually beneficial relationship that will be unlike any other.

This approach is almost always rejected by the doctors I have talked to, despite huge success I've had in my own life and in my field research. I've been told this is too dangerous, that I'm still being taken for a ride if I think "these people" have anything to offer me and that no good can come from such relationships. I do not think I can have any effect working with psychologists and therapists because I'm going up against a whole establishment and have no credentials, the only thing I have is a very open mind.

Do you think this approach, changing your perceptions to change your relationship is progressive? I realize that most will not want to be close to someone who has hurt them but for the ones like me, nothing can be more healing or enlightening. I value your opinion more than anyone in the entire field and I would love to know what you think the most effective method of being able to help people would be if you approve.

Thank you for everything you do, you have helped so many and you are among my favorite people in the world for doing it.

M.E.: I think you are spot on. I think the advice that specialists are giving to sociopaths and people involved with sociopaths is rubbish (for the most part). It's too bad that there are so many basic misunderstandings about the nature of sociopaths. And I agree with you that sociopaths have a unique perspective that can actually be beneficial to people who ar able to understand and appreciate it.

102 comments:

  1. I think exactly like this reader. Occasional hurt that comes from a sociopath in my life (who is worth something tangible and/or intangible) is worth it. There is so much to learn from them.

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    1. For me, the biggest thing I got from reading this blog is that I'm not a sociopath. I'm a narcissist, as are pretty much all my friends.

      If one is a self-deluded narcissist, who knows one is low-empathy, but unable to put one's finger on what's different about oneself, this blog fantastic. You get a sense of how a rational, low-empathy person views things, and there's no shame about it. Shame, of course, is what drives narcissists into ridiculous levels self-delusion.

      Also, I'm fairly certain that people aren't just one or the other. There have to be lots of people that are quite normal but still low-empathy enough that they act a bit sociopathic. Being able to get the view from one end of the spectrum (again, without the shame) really helps.

      Similarly, there are narcissists that are pretty far to one end of the spectrum, but not so far gone that they can't notice what they are.

      If you are a narcissist (or think you might be one), please check out http://narcissistworld.wordpress.com

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    2. I've been dating my girl for 5 years and we have just broke up because she told me she likes someone else but she say she still loves me... the next week she left the house and said she needs to find herself??? and i wanted her to be with me by living were i live, forget about her ex's, having a good job and being in a healthy relationship which leads to marriage and kids. but she has been planning to leave me since and when i knew about her plan i gave her space maybe she will come back?? but if she don't then i had to help me find a spell caster to help me bring her back so i did contacted dr.marnish@yahoo.com after 3 days of casting his spell my girlfriend returned back to crying to me that she will never make a step without me again, that she will always love me till death. i am still surprised how dr.marnish did the love spell
      Tremeeka from France

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    3. This made me laugh so hard. Thanks for making my day.

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    4. My name is tucker stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or call +2348156885231 or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

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  2. Oh, I also intend to publish some books and villains are the ones that make for an exciting story. Gotta love your villain and let him help you get somewhere...

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  3. I am vindicated *Does Snoopy dance*

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  4. I'm fo vindictive i seduced her best friend

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  5. i poke ppl if they react i poke'm some more if i poke'm to much they go crazy and i laugh

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  6. it's not about the sociopath in your life, it's about expectations management.

    when you hang on way past the expiry date, it's like you keep panning for gold because you found one or two nuggets at one time, and you just can't believe that there isn't a payload somewhere hidden in the useless dirt.

    the love frauders are like those crazy old time gold prospectors, broke, out-of-work, and starving and reduced to the humiliation of begging. they've invested so much time, and everything they have, it's impossible to walk away. they don't need therapy, they need an introduction to basic business concepts - in particular the sunk cost fallacy.

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    1. Brilliant Zoe xx

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    2. Exactly right. All I wanted from mine was that he continued to be entertaining. Now that's not happening, I cut the cord. He says we 'have to stay friends', I say it's too much effort for too little reward.

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    3. IMO a person who keeps on ruminating and talking about their long lost sociopath or any lover for that matter, is keeping the relationship alive in some way. They're still in it while the other has moved on. One must first see that just for what it is. You miss them. -I did this a very long time ago with someone. It takes practice to let go. Of anything.

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  7. you are your greatest and most valuable resource. :)

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  8. one more comment and then back to work. i have a former colleague who is difficult. he could be a sociopath, but that's irrelevant really. i was interested in dating him at one point, however am not any more. he's a valuable business contact, and reliable in this way, but socially and emotionally unreliable.

    the relationship is worth maintaining to me, and I will never end it, but exists in this one dimension only. what today's post doesn't make clear (to me anyway) is that the onus should be on the "victim" to take charge of their selves. instead the implication is you should "play nice" and accept the situation as well as the sociopath. that you should leave it up to the sociopath (or narcissist or difficult empath, whatever fits).

    i say keep the baby, but drain all that dirty smelly emotional bathwater!

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  9. I have come to an upsetting conclusion. I am attracted to sadism. I mix it with love.

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    1. I know Zoe but better to face it than to live it because I won't face it

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    2. sadism fills a need, but isn't it possible that the need is unrelated to the need for love? what would be missing from life without the sadism?

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    3. it's like the guy is a vehicle and you can only have one. but the vehicle must perform different competing services. can a guy who is sadistic love you? would a guy who loves you be sadistic?

      it's a bit like going for a drive and expecting your nice looking beemer to perform like a hummer on some occasions, and passat on others, depending on the weather conditions and neighbourhood.

      actually, that would be the perfect car ha

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    4. Sadism resonates with the person's feeling about herself. The puzzle piece/sadism fits the puzzle/ the person.

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    5. then maybe it's about forcing a change by changing the pieces surrounding it. needs change.

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    6. Let me fill your void Monica. You know you want me to...

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    7. I was with a guy whose sadism I didn't "inspire". But he was still sadistic in that I could tell he was controlling and trying to manipulate me. I called him out on it and he got off on that. I believe this guy is an unaware sociopath. That or a very sweet narcissist with no ability to attach "normally". I used to try to get him to attach to me but the truth is that it takes atleast one person in a relationship to be able to do it easily.

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  10. I would like to hear from others that have attempted to
    embrace this thinking; as mother's with children have
    attempted many ways in dealing with sociopaths.

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    1. My advice: don't

      A small percentage of the population would be able to utilize this effectively. The rest would just reveal more intellectual vulnerabilities and open themselves up to another "attack."

      I've just recently learned I'm a sociopath. I've just recently learned that my eyes are apparently very fucking unique, because I can see shit no-one else can.

      Do you want to know why this wouldn't work for most people? Because sociopaths can see your THOUGHT PROCESSES. Now, I know, you surely don't understand the significance of this. Allow me to explain:

      I can't speak for other sociopaths, but I'm not usually very interested in what people have to say. When reading a person, it's more important to focus on the eyes, body language, non-verbal cues, tonal cues, and what WASN'T said, than what was actually said. Why? Because sociopaths aren't the only ones who lie. Everybody lies. Most people just don't see it like that because they lie to themselves more than they do anyone else. People are inherently "dishonest" because they lack the capacity for objective reasoning.

      So... let's say you're having a conversation with a sociopath you've just outed and you're trying to explain your radical new approach to them.

      1) You've taken the power away from them and soiled their game. They're not happy with you right now. Since we can't empathize or form emotional bonds, I can almost guarantee they aren't harboring pleasant thoughts towards you. So, revenge...

      2) What's the best revenge in this situation? Manipulating you once more. You're going to be preoccupied with the honesty and candidness you think you're receiving (which is unlikely you are), so your guard will probably have fallen. Trust me, we know what it looks like when someone has let their guard down. The difference is fucking night and day, and very visible to us.

      At this point, you're probably thinking/hoping your newfound understanding and acceptance touched the sociopath deep down, in some far repressed center of emotion, and resparked his humanity. You're secretly hoping to help him, to change him, to fix him. We can see this, too. This is our in.

      What I'm trying to say (and I'm sure I poorly communicated) was that I'm far less interested in what you say[/think] and far more interested in why you say[/think] that. As a sociopath, I very much respect this new approach, and would LOVE to have some honest, candid discussions with an NT...

      ...but here's where the issue lies: for most people, this approach would be nothing more than them regurgitating someone else's ideals. They can adopt the ideals, but they cannot adopt the thought processes that took the person to those ideals. The ideals may be right, but if it's something you've just taken from someone else, then your words are fucking shallow and pointless. If you lack the ability to come to those ideals on your own, then chances are you lack the capacity to truly act on those ideals. This kind of behavior is pathetic and is indicative of a pathetic creature. One who is asking to be manipulated and abused. Don't play with fire if you aren't adequately prepared for the heat. If you aren't, we'll know, and it will just be the start of another much more satisfying game.

      Why do we manipulate? Because we can run mental laps around damn near any one of you, and yet you walk around acting as though you deserve respect and admiration.

      And that makes you a target.

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    2. Anon, you're good. Too bad you're a sociopath. Does that mean you don't care about others? Or, do you target a specific group?

      I operate just like you and thanks to high IQ I can beat intellectually whom I consider the 'evil-doers.' I guess at the end what matters is who are these evil-doers. To a sociopath pretty much anyone who does not serve his own interest. To an empath anyone who does not serve humanity's interest.

      The war is on, baby.

      Te good thing is some of your side shit is good for humanity. And, the bad is some of empath's side shit is bad for humanity.

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    3. The whole "caring about other people" issues is a difficult one to address, especially over the internet. The concept of "caring" has been warped tremendously.

      To answer the question, based on the pure semantics of it: No, I do not care about other people.

      But I am hesitant to say it like that because, even as a sociopath, I feel that paints a far darker picture of me than is accurate.

      It seems to be a commonly held belief, whether consciously or subconsciously, that a sociopath's lack of concern for other people is purposeful and purposefully malicious. NTs always seem to find a way to imply that there is some choice in the matter, and we are choosing to be "evil." This is just simply not the case.

      No, I do not care about other people (well, not all of them at least, but I'll get to that later), but it's not purposely malicious; I just don't care. I don't find other people interesting or intellectually stimulating (and I obviously can't find them emotionally stimulating).

      I just can't force myself to expend valuable energy or mind-power dwelling on their inane, illogical concerns. I CAN'T do it. It's not like I could just sit down and wish myself a heart. I can't make myself care about something I don't care about. It's like telling someone with ADHD that they just need to try harder to pay attention: if you can't do it, you can't fucking do it, and trying to be something you're not is only going to build up cognitive dissonance until you melt down and hurt yourself or the people around you.

      Now, to be fair, I'm far from a pure sociopath. I consider myself to be more of a Schizoid/Sociopath hybrid (leaning more to the sociopath side, unfortunately). While I do possess extraordinarily convincing superficial charm and an unnaturally-developed ability to read body language, I don't find myself driven to manipulate. I'm a sociopath, so I have no problems lying or manipulating for some end, but never just for the sake of doing it. It's not that I feel bad about it (though, depending on the person, I do sometimes feel guilt, though it is usually short-lived and easily rationalized away), it's just that it doesn't seem to be worth the effort.

      Also consistent with Schizoid Personality Disorder, I don't have much interest in sex. I've got a pretty low sex-drive, and I don't see the point in manipulating others for sex. I hate to bring Dexter into the argument, but what he said about sex always seeming undignified and animalistic definitely holds true for me. It's one of those residual animal instincts that I don't have much patience for and would much rather do without.

      (continued below)

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    4. Whatever I am, where Schizoid, Sociopath, combination, or none of the above, I'm definitely high-functioning. The first rule of making it as a wolf in sheep's clothing is this: Never shit where you eat. That's where all the low-functioning anti-socials go wrong: they lack foresight and self-control. Me, I'm much more deliberate, calculating and removed, though I am often quite impulsive.

      I don't have myself fully figured out yet, but I don't mind. The journey isn't half the fun; it's all the fun.

      I'm much more than just a sociopath. I actually do have a solid sense of self, one that I've developed over the last few years as I became an aspiring Psychonaut. I love introspection, and I love psychedelic drugs even more. I've got a reputation for being especially risk-taking when it comes to drugs (though I always know what I'm doing and I never put myself in serious risk. Most other people are just pussies). I love ripping my psyche apart and figuring out what makes me tick. I'm a control freak, after all, and what's more fun than learning to control yourself?

      I recently had a significant spiritual awakening, and was able to identify my Eternal self ("soul" carries silly connotations). In doing so, I was able to differentiate between my true self (my Eternal) and my false self (my ego). It was in doing so that I started to become aware of my sociopathic nature and the need for balance within one's self. Neither too much dark nor too much light.

      I also believe in reincarnation, and I believe that this life is one of my more dark incarnations. I believe it is meant to teach me to accept and love these lower ("evil") vibrations, as they are just as important as the higher ("good") vibrations.

      You can't be whole without both sides. Empaths and sociopaths are equally flawed creatures.

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    5. A few things I meant to address but forgot about:

      1) The 3 A's of Schizoid Personality Disorder tend to describe me fairly well, though definitely not all the time: Apathy, Avolition and Anhedonia

      2) I do feel emotion, just not as frequently or as strongly, and it is almost always of short duration. When I feel emotion, it is usually in response to some overt external stimuli. To be fair, a lot of things that do evoke an emotional response do so because they act as retrieval cues for some long-repressed childhood memory. I had a rather painful childhood, of which I prefer to never be reminded.

      3) There are people that I do care about, in my own way. They will never be able to elicit a genuine spontaneous emotion, but I regard them very highly (relative to the rest of humanity, of course) and would be displeased if anything were to happen to them. They don't elicit genuine emotional responses, but when I think about how I "feel" about them, I am able to produce some low-grade, synthetic, rational "emotions". I'm not sure how to explain it. It's almost like I'm teaching myself to feel without sacrificing my rationale or mental clarity.

      I can't empathize with these people that I care about. We don't form emotional bonds, nor do I get excited to see them or miss them when they are absent from my life, I just respect them for being a cut above the rest of humanity. Or maybe that's not it at all. Maybe I just like the feeling of "owning" people. They are almost like possessions, mine to look after and protect, mine to shape and mold as I see fit...

      I am a monster. I know that. But I try to balance it by giving as much as I take, and by abstaining as much as I indulge. Again, it all comes down to balance and harmony.

      Don't let that fool you, though... it's easy to sit here and type out that pretty little "code of ethics" to make myself seem like a more human sociopath. Honestly, it's simply how I'd like to be. No, not even that... it's my "objective" (I may have more objective eyes than most, but I'm not foolish enough to think myself free of subjective biases) understanding of how things *should* work. It's most utilitarian to NOT manipulate and abuse the people you see on a regular basis. I can't form genuine relationships, but they don't know that, and they never will. I don't abuse them because I'd necessarily feel bad about it, but rather because it's not worth the potential fallout. I've got a reputation to protect, after all.

      There are overt sociopaths and covert sociopaths. I definitely prefer to be the latter; mind games sort of lose their fun when everyone knows you're full of shit.

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    6. Thank you so very much for sharing that.

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    7. This is probably the best explanation of a sociopath that I've ever seen on a blog and it answers my questions.
      Why does a sociopath not hurt ppl? Because they do not want to have a fallout or tarnish their image. They cling on to ppl as if holding on or collecting possessions.

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    8. To the anonymous Schizoid/Sociopath hybrid,

      You are very intriguing to me. You are soo much like my "boyfriend" I cant really call him my boyfriend I suppose. I wish I had a way of contacting you. I know I am not on the same intellectual level as you or the sociopath I love but I want to learn as much as I can. I wish I had a way to contact you.

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  11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim-Lucky Sociopath

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    1. I hate that phrase. It isn't my ultimate goal. If someone happens to pique my interest (rarely) I don't make a conscious point to manipulate them. In fact I greatly respect people who don't take flack from me. Who wants a victim when you can have companions.

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  12. i thought sociopaths liked a challenge, not something all marshmallowy and willing.

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    1. ^Then why do they prefer not to hang around with other
      sociopaths? You would think they would be the greatest challenge.

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    2. Dunno where you're getting your intel, anon, but I do enjoy hanging around other sociopaths. It almost always turns into a subtle competition of wit/intellectual prowess that NTs don't pick up on. It's brilliantly stimulating, and the mutual sociopathy adds an element of excitement and risk. Normal people are so fucking boring because they are so consciously bound by their self-imposed limitations. I can't predict a sociopath's actions. They're the only people who still hold mystery

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    3. You have sociopaths for friends? My therapist told me to go join a sociopath meet up group. Can you imagine that?

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    4. Sociopath meetup group? Was that bitch serious?

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  13. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/charles-manson-photos-images-killer-released-parole-hearing-130827932.html

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  14. Having had to hang around my sociopath for the last two and half years, I completely disagree with the piece above. Maintaining a relationship with a known sociopath who has harmed you is like recovering from an alcohol addiction while living in a bar. Sure the strongest of us could do it but why?

    I think this sort of thing would only appeal to masochists or people who like crazy challenges like running marathons in bare feet over broken glass.

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    1. well if you have kids with one you have to maintain the relationship, or if they're family sometimes it's easier to not break ties. the trick is leaving emotionally when you can't physically. and that's always the trick, isn't it? if you leave emotionally, there are no feelings to be manipulated.

      you can also leave mentally. take the ego and its needs out of the equation. then there is no mental you to be manipulated. it doesn't mean they will never get their way with you, just that you don't care. it kills the fun for them.

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    2. i'm currently trying this out with someone at work who for months now has used my every attempt at establishing rapport with him as a way to establish authority over me (that he doesn't have) until he finally used up my goodwill. i like where i am and have no plan to leave, but have to work with this clown, so recently i took myself out of the equation emotionally and mentally.

      what's left is my physical presence, my intellect, and a polite but completely neutral facial expression that any robot would be proud of. maybe he'll like it? we'll see how it goes. :)

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    3. Good point Zoe. You are a true independent thinker. I admire that trait a great deal and it is very very rare.

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    4. Of course, I am one too he he

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    5. "I'm an independent thinker, he he...

      ...validation pl0x?"

      Yeah, no. Someone has to be brutally honest with you, Monica. You're "Of course, I am one too he he" post 11 minutes after your first post just screams intellectual insecurities.

      God, there are times I wonder if I drew the short straw in life, but then there are times, like now, where I read posts, like yours, and I am just so motherfucking grateful to be a sociopath and not ever feel the need for external validation.

      Our (sociopath's) critics say we enjoy using the word "pathetic" when referring to humanity. Can you blame us?

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    6. You don't "maintain" a relationship with one daily. You keep contact brief, sporadic, functional and worth both party's time.

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    7. pa·theti·cal·ly adv.
      Synonyms: pathetic, pitiful, pitiable, piteous, lamentable
      These adjectives describe what inspires or deserves pity. Something pathetic elicits sympathetic sadness and compassion: "a most earnest . . . entreaty, addressed to you in the most pathetic tones of the voice so dear to you" (Charles Dickens).
      Both pitiful and pitiable apply to what is touchingly sad: "She told a most pitiful story" (Samuel Butler). "The emperor had been in a state of pitiable vacillation" (William Hickling Prescott).
      Sometimes these three terms connote contemptuous pity, as for what is hopelessly inept or inadequate: a school with pathetic academic standards. "To be guided by second-hand conjecture is pitiful" (Jane Austen). "That cold accretion called the world, which, so terrible in the mass, is so unformidable, even pitiable, in its units" (Thomas Hardy).
      Piteous applies to what cries out for pity: "They . . . made piteous lamentation to us to save them" (Daniel Defoe).
      Lamentable suggests the evocation of pity mixed with sorrow: "Tell thou the lamentable tale of me,/And send the hearers weeping to their beds" (Shakespeare).
      The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
      pathetic [pəˈθɛtɪk]
      adj
      1. evoking or expressing pity, sympathy, etc.
      2. distressingly inadequate the old man sat huddled in front of a pathetic fire
      3. Brit informal ludicrously or contemptibly uninteresting or worthless the standard of goalkeeping in amateur football today is pathetic
      4. Obsolete of or affecting the feelings
      pl n
      pathetic sentiments
      [from French pathétique, via Late Latin from Greek pathetikos sensitive, from pathos suffering; see pathos]
      pathetically adv

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  15. Zoe, I completely relate to what you are saying. Detaching emotionally is almost impossible for us neuro-typicals, though. If I were the Buddha, perhaps I could do it. I do pretend I have detached and then he leaves me alone. Otherwise, I just put up GIANT boundaries and avoid him as much as possible.

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    1. anonymous, i struggled for years with this. nothing is impossible if you work at it long enough...

      or someone finally comes along who crosses the line and you wake up and realize that emotionally you've been hitting your head on the wall again and again.

      meditation helps

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    2. I think it would be impossible for anyone to mentally check out with a sadistic sociopath.

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    3. i agree with this. if the other person attacks you physically or mentally you have to address it. ignoring that will lead to more.

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    4. Zoe, I like this. I am working so hard at seeing things very clearly. Calming down, feelings in one bucket, actions in another,etc,etc...

      So, you can say the socio helped. He helped me set boundaries, helped me wake up, helped me set a direction in my life. Wish it hadn't (and continues to be) so painful. But maybe that's what it takes.

      So the writer above has a point. After all the crap with recovery, the ultimate goal is to see that socio for what he is, and learn how to protect yourself in relation to him. Essentially, grow up.

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  16. I'm going pretty steady with sweetcheeks. Thanks sociopath world. She's an incredible lady.

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  17. zoe, all of your ideas are excellent!

    the bottom line is that all groups of people have their gems and their duds, if someone is a big asshole you shouldn't put up with them at all. you have to step back and see if the relationship is mutually beneficial. sociopaths can be terrible but if you got involved with the person to begin with, chances are that they have some good qualities. if all you liked was what they were mirroring back at you, you're barking up the wrong personality disorder tree- go look for the dependants to appeal to your inner narcissist. i wonder if the lovefraud crowd sits back and really evaluates what it was that drew them to the person who hurt them. my friend the sociopath lied to me, pretended he was just like me, seemed perfect but what i really liked about him was his absolute honesty with the world. after i found out what he was all about, the act dropped but his unique and at times very helpful world view stayed the same.

    i realize this approach won't work for MANY, but those who were able to see past the smoke and mirrors realize that nothing has changed with a label.

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    1. thanks incitatus. good points. funny how we only ever think the good qualities belong and the bad qualities indicate there is some problem that needs fixing.

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  18. Maintaining a relationship with a known sociopath who has harmed you is like recovering from an alcohol addiction while living in a bar. Sure the strongest of us could do it but why?

    Because you are now as strong as he/she. You are you, he is he and never shall you want blood from a stone. It is freedom. How many times do people say "I could never please my father/mother or get them to love me" Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone teach you it was impossible?

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    1. because maybe you shouldn't be looking to squeeze blood from a stone. it's not going to work. but a stone can be hella effective in breaking open the window of a car that your crying baby is locked in. in phoenix. in the middle of summer. old teddy roosevelt told us to do what you can with what you have, where you are! don't count on a sociopath to fulfill you emotionally.

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    2. I'm a person who can't attach emotionally to peopel because I petty much think they're all full of shit and prone to weak and aapproval seeking. Plus they don't mean what they sayI like to watch vicious behavior. I'm callos and super-fishily charming, but really I'm incredibly charming. People lik me allday and I'm afraid to get caught by the normals thinking I'm too nice. Pls help. DO I have empathy if I like people and want to make them happy cuz they nice sometimes but not all tetime and I like stimulation in my head with other sociopats?

      Delete
  19. So from what I can gather, the poster is still involved with her ex sociopath and probably sleeping with him. Her advice is bloody terrible. She's been "working with a psychologist", eh? Probably more like "in counseling for years". She says, "I always encourage women to keep their sociopaths in their lives if they think they can handle it".

    For women out there who've been involved with a sociopath, please don't get all excited from this post, thinking that you can "handle" your socio. I just don't think its gonna happen. No matter what a good victim you are, there's always a fresher, lovelier and more nubile one around the corner. You can only be of interest for so long. Then they'll just keep you around so they can bat you around from time to time ... kind of like a cat does with a toy that's lost all its catnip.

    A victim who "redefines" her victimhood is still pretty much a victim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I absolutely agree with you anon. I have socios around me but would never allow a socio to be a lover. By definition a socio is incapable of loving the way you would. So, you'd always be on the over-giving end, why bother?

      As they say you don't give a guy more than what he is asking for, he is not asking for emotional anything so...... basic logic, don't give anything emotional...... don't love him.

      Delete
    2. My ex told me never to tell anyone he wasn't sure he was capable of loving. It was a very generous statement. I was banished from his home after I stopped showing love. You canNOT get blood from a stone. I'd never tell another person that unless I was ready to let them leave me, or I wanted out and they wanted to stay. I said to one person I didn't think I ever loved him. It's very simple to keep someone from feeling like a victim. Tell them the fucking truth.

      Delete
  20. There is a big difference between playing victim and facing reality. The reality is that he is a sociopath, he hurt you, and he will hurt you again. The reality may also be that you are vulnerable. Playing victim is staying in a vulnerable spot and blaming him for your problems. Take charge, be honest with yourself, be honest about him, and get him out of your life as much as possible. If you can't do this, get thee to a therapist because you are clearly not acting in your own best interest. You wouldn't keep a poisonous snake loose in your house? Why let a poisonous person loose in your life?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yeah, socios can teach us something about ourselves. But so can a whole lot of other people who do not have the extra added risk of destroying us emotionally and mentally. Go learn from the non-sociopaths and non personality disordered. The only thing you need to learn from socios is how to identify and avoid them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You people will never be able to identify us. You're too blinded by your emotions and we're too adept at manipulating those emotions.

      How can you identify us when we're better at being (acting) normal than you are?

      Delete
    2. How can you identify a beeper if she/he doesn't do her crying/fear of abandonment/anger/lack of self esteem in front of you ? If she just manipulates, mirrors, seduces, and reads the fuck out of people because she can see things, but can't REALLY attach how can you see her? Please tell me what the difference is? So she doesn't do malicious for fun? =Some aware sociopaths restrain from being malicious for fun.

      Sarah has explained this. Please, again, someone else.

      Delete
  22. i had a socio in my life for a couple of months, we were not too close, but we contacted each other almost on a daily basis. i think i've learnt a lot of interesting stuff from him about him, myself, and interpersonal relations. after a period in which i couldn't figure what what on earth was going on in his head, and why he behaved in a push and pull, manipulating, bastard/angel way, once i figured it out, it all made sense and became exciting. compared to some experiences NTs have with socios, mine was ok-ish. he was a proper bastard, but since i was not too involved with him, i could appreciate the unpredictability, challenge, and excitement he brought into my life. but this was probably also because i knew i was leaving the relationship soon. i let him know i knew what he was, and of course i would like to think he started respecting me and thinking of me as somehow special, but i'm way too smart to do that. rationally, i know i was one among hundreds of people he manipulated, and that no matter what i did or said, there's no chance he was forming some sort of an attachment towards me. but socios still intrigue me!
    is it possible for socios to develop some personal code - for example, to say 'i'm going to work on several people at the same time, rather than focus on one victim (because in that way the damage done is less for each person involved)'? some set of rules which include everything socios find stimulating and exciting, but in a way that is not completely ruining people around them? because i think this guy had it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had one like that. I still keep in contact with him. I consider him a confidante.

      Delete
  23. This is exactly what I have been thinking. I have a very open mind, and choose to stay in a relationship with my bf thinking his sociopathy was an interguing perk, that created excitement,adventure, and an interesting twist. I wanted us (as I am nearly completely opposite, but if we worked on it, could be very complimentary) to have a unique compelling bond that only us two with our completely different mindsets could share. Of course in the end I am realizing, primarily I am there to be used...and that bothers me when I can't get my needs met in our relationship. And it seems when I am myself, the exact opposite he is, it bothers him...even though it is only my originality showing through. I can't decide if he hates that I am being myself, so I can feel happiness and freedom on my own terms as well (making it harder for him to control me) so he needs to smash it to make me easier to control...or if its just annoying because its not what he would want to be around anyways. I am perfectly willing to work with him, and I value him for all that he is. I see him as a person not just a sociopath...but I do look through what I assume his lense would be when deciding how to respond or handle situations...through what I've learned on here, and through expirience being with him. But the only thing I have to say is that...if we are going to go out of our way, go through the crazy ride, keep our mouth shut even when we are terrified, and find a way to enjoy it anyways...then we need our sociopath to try to find a way to appreciate us too...and just let us be who we are, and feel valued and not have our needs neglected. And this goes against being a sociopath...but being with a sociopath and going on their crazy insane, but mesmorizingly beautiful ride...goes against us in a way too...but its worth it. I hope we can be worth it. I don't expect my bf to put me first all the time, to remain faithful, to not lie to me, to not try to use the system and other people in every way he can. I don't bitch at him for any of it, as it is part of the beauty that makes him, him. But as his partner, I'd like to be above all that with him. To be his true partner, and yes his partial victim. But I can't just be his victim.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Alright I'm reading my post again, clearly I am wanting too much from him. But the times when he is sweet and gives me a taste of what it would be like to be in a relationship where he loves me, makes me want him to,and wonder if he does on some level. It makes me question if I'm being dumb for thinking he does, or dumb for thinking he doesn't. After all he is a person...well anyways. I wrote a poem about it. Here it goes...its not finished or edited, and it needs to flow better but here.

    The look on your face
    Of hate, anger, and despise
    The Surge
    The non-joyful rush
    That fills me up inside
    Your so beautiful, but so am I

    The curve of your face
    The darkness of your eyes
    So much more than what the non-descript surface provides
    But do you realize that so am I

    An illusionist
    Constantly turning the revolving door
    Of your real or pretended blindness
    How much is the truth, how much is your game
    How much should I trust, how much should be stained

    You're darkness idealized
    For me conceptualized
    But you toss it to the wind
    Leaving me to question
    As you feed again and again

    Your free as a bird
    Riding on, living for, searching for
    This continuous romanticized turbulence
    You so long ago became
    So beautifully, perfectly, quite insane
    Far more than the original sin
    All the dark and bright colors of the wind
    Your so beautiful
    But do you realize that so am I

    Like a gypsy, caught up, risen, twisting in the dirt and the air
    Comes confusion, entrapment,yet freedom if you dare
    I didn't think, I fled
    The backseat of a truck becomes our bed
    A numbing comfort
    Corroding happiness and dread
    But I want, need
    More than codes of red
    Your so beautiful
    But so am I
    Your so beautiful
    But do you see that so am I

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh man, thought I'd seen it all, but a poem to a sociopath! Sometimes it's embarassing being normal! Hellooooo! Run and never look back instead of begging for your needs! Damn Disney and his fucken fairytales!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anyone who thinks they are getting anything or any benefit from a relationship with a sociopath is simply deluded. They are parasites. That is it. They are losers. Always. They feed off of sabatoging and conning. They are happy they "duped you". Google "duping delight". The eskimos kill them, look that up. Sociopaths are not stronger or smarter. They themselves are deluded and could not exist without the "goodwill" or charity of normal people. They are pus filled sores on the ass of society and that is it. They are a defect.

    ReplyDelete
  27. well, I suppose that is all well and good unless they are abusive and violent. SMH I idolized my sociopath love, to a sick degree, because I am intelligent and have always felt like an outsider, and I felt like his feelings were more 'raw' and 'pure' and found that beautiful. IT WAS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE. All you are seeing is a childish selfishness that can ultimately be dangerous in a grown man. Imagine a 3-year-old tantrum thrown by a 30 year old man. I understand where you are coming from, believe me, but after 8 years of 'accepting him for who he was' ....which I did, believe me...I let him express it ALL with near stoicism......,, I realized what an evil and disgusting person he truly was. Which, to his credit, he told me from the start.

    ReplyDelete
  28. P.S. To the poem author....It's "you're" so beautiful" the contraction for 'you are', not the possessive 'your'. Sorry, but that drives me MAD, and it's not a typo, or auto-correct.

    One last thing....I really don't like the tone of "if they think they can handle it", as if it makes one special and strong to take on a relationship with a sociopath. I deluded myself that way for nearly a decade, and ended up almost dead and put our children through hell.

    ReplyDelete
  29. When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found Dr.Azonto spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you . azontotemple@yahoo.com spell from the bottom of my heart!
    Posted by. miss Sandra Chali

    ReplyDelete
  30. All of this is such a lovely waste of time. None of you are special, I am not special. Do you feel the Earth turning?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hello everybody, my names is Cindy Davis Am from Canada i want to give thanks and honor to Dr.ATILA for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 24 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. ATILA proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him,atilahealinghome@yahoo.com that he is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my friends on my wedding which will coming up on 30/10/2013, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. ATILA who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through atilahealinghome@yahoo.com or cell number +2348169457829

    ReplyDelete
  32. I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hey everyone just wanted to let those of you who have read my other posting that John and I are back together!! Wow, I am so glad I came across priestandrew91@yahoo.com and it seems that perhaps it was a miracle that I stumbled across it in a web search. Just too bad that I didn't find it sooner so I could have prevented some of the problems that he and I have had the past few months.

    ReplyDelete
  34. my mouth is full of testimony is just like a dream but is real all thanks to papa Dr saulat.
    I will continue to share this testimony sir till the whole world had of it. i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But i complained to my colleague in my place of work and she discuss with me her experience too and how she over come with the help of papa Dr saulat the great messenger God is using to help people, I narrated my problem to Dr saulat about how my Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in Washington DC were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact saulatspellhome@yahoo.com on his personal email address or website http://drsaulatindiaspell.webs.com/ and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve

    ReplyDelete
  35. I've been looking for someone with this attitude as I'm doing the same thing. I was ruined financially and had my heart broken but I find that in the past few months I have a good relationship with my sociopath ex. We're separated but see each other. If he lies and I know it, I just let him talk and don't contradict him. It's his problem. The thing is, once we're aware of what these people are, we are in a position to protect ourselves from further damage. I feel I know him so well and he doesn't even realise I don't believe his lies etc. I need to detach more emotionally as he's cheated and because I don't confront him he tends to even admit it. We have a good friendship crazy as it seems.

    ReplyDelete

  36. My name is TESSY JERRY FROM USA, I head that my husband was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. ADAGBA the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. My name is tucker stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or call +2348156885231 or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  38. My name is tucker stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or call +2348156885231 or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  39. OMG!!! i cant believe that this great female spell caster helped me with this great miracle. I am full of joy and happiness now that my wife is back in my life. we separated for 6 months, until a friend introduced me to this great powerful female spell caster pristessiyawospelltemple online, and i explained my predicament to her because i love Anita my wife so very much that i cant just stay without thinking of our past. I love her so so much i can not afford to just forget about her. And she promised and assured me that she will bring her back to me in just 24 hours after her spell casting. which she put me through on what to do and i did perfectly and at the end of it all my ex wife came back to me begging and screaming for forgiveness which i did not think twice before i hugged and accepted her. we kissed and till now, we are both living together as husband and wives. because priestess Iyawo told me that her spell casting lasts forever, which everybody that she has helped has also testified about her too. the great priestess Iyawo brought my ex back to me, and i don't know how much to thank and appreciate her for her powerful and wonderful works that she has done for me. you can contact her on her website http://pristessiyawospellmiracletemple.webs.com
    Wyatt Oscar

    ReplyDelete
  40. Without DR DAHIRU a lot of people would have been dead through heart break. My case is not different from heart break, I am married woman with 3 kids and there was a time when i was having problem with my husband because he was having an affair outside our marriage and this was making me feel bad. So i tried finding solution to my problem by reading a lot of relationship tips on the internet and that was how i came in contact with DR DAHIRU contact details and through the help of DR DAHIRU at arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com my husband left the girl he was having affair with and he came back to me and our kids. After a job well done by DR DAHIRU i felt that it will be unfair if i keep this secret to myself and that is why i am going to drop the contact details of DR DAHIRU right now,or you can also reach him via this email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hello everyone, i am here to share my testimony on how i conceived my baby. i have been married to my husband for 12years without no issue.i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside our marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened. i was now seen as always unhappy.i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man called Dr Orissa who helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to give him a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mother with a son. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me.i am a happy mother,i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: (orissatemple@yahoo.com) you want your lover back or any other miracle in your life, contact him today so the world can be a better place to live.

    ReplyDelete

  42. My Wife divorce me for no reason, Thanks to Dr Dr.jarto for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again, My name is Marcus Williams. i live in Italy, I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(Dr.jartospellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same web site: http://Dr.jartosp.blogspot.co.uk/,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Dr.jarto for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. { Dr.jartospellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks you Dr Dr.jarto, i will always be testifying about your good work.This spell is a 100% Guarantee for your situation.

    ReplyDelete

  43. My Wife divorce me for no reason, Thanks to Dr Dr.jarto for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again, My name is Marcus Williams. i live in Italy, I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(Dr.jartospellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same web site: http://Dr.jartosp.blogspot.co.uk/,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Dr.jarto for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. { Dr.jartospellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks you Dr Dr.jarto, i will always be testifying about your good work.This spell is a 100% Guarantee for your situation.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wow my ex husband back is back who left me and three kids for the past 1year plus since i contacted Dr. Odion spell on his email: odionspelltemple@gmail.com or call +2348056932230 also on WhatsApp for answer to your problems

    ReplyDelete

  45. An amazing testimony of a powerful and genuine spell caster who brought my husband back to me,. i live in England, and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. { adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com }. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {8}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than as it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same and you can also reach Dr Adagba through his mobile number +2348115200304,if you are in any condition like this or you have any problem contact Dr Adagba ,{ adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com }, Thanks for reading .

    ReplyDelete

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