Thursday, April 26, 2012

On selflessness


From a reader:

As a constant, I am aware of the fact that nobody means much to me as aside from what they directly provide. That actually doesn't sound terrible: while everybody tries to side-step the matter and down on the word "selfish," to be "selfish" is healthy. Normal people get a selfish pleasure out of the well being of those whom they care for. "Selfish" does not have to mean at the expense of others, only that you are doing it for yourself. If you feel good donating to charity, you are going to do it because you enjoy that. It is only when donating to charity makes you unhappy and you perform it as a perceived obligation that it is truly selfless (although, even then, you are probably donating for the personal reward of an afterlife, or for the personal reward of social approval). Can you imagine an atheist schizoid with better use of his money chucking it away instead? Where's the motivation?                                                                                 
    
But I don't feel bad when those presumably close to me suffer. I only choose to extend a facade of "are you alright?" because I fear that they will catch onto such and stop contributing to whatever it is that I keep them around for. How can I expect sympathy for my suffering or understanding when the root of my condition stems from the idea that I will never be able to reciprocate affection? What masochist is willing to love and attend to a brick wall? Perhaps one of delusion, but then, he doesn't understand, and can't even begin to entertain my honesty. So what can I say, except "I am sorry that this is how I am"? Even when I apologize for it, it is less because I feel bad that I hurt them, and more a wave of self-pity when I want something to preserve. I'm sorry. I can't help it.                                                                                                            

215 comments:

  1. P to the I to the L to the E to the SApril 26, 2012 at 2:41 AM

    Phurst!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think that sociopaths have some qualities which are more adaptive than non-sociopaths.One is the raw honesty with which they face themselves. I lie to myself. I can say that my PD, of which I do have one, is simply a house of cards, made up of lies. It is a carefully constructed house put together to save my life. I built it,subconsciously, and then went to live in it. It became my bunker from the conflagration which would have killed me. However, the fire is gone and I am locked in the bunker.

    People don't understand this. By people, I mean therapists. They want to talk about the bunker, ad infinitum. They want to analyze the color and the materials. They want you to describe how it feels in the bunker. After you have spent thousands of dollars on them, you are still IN the bunker.

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  3. God, I feel the same way, inch by inch. Though in my case my bloody wasteland of a soul hurts. It's a pain they can´t even begin to imagine, people with regular minds. It's complete loneliness, the one you can only picture in dreams or dead. And I still have to live. And when you want to live, how do you start, where do you go, who do you need to know?

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  4. After going to therapists from age 12 until a few years ago, I came to realize this fact. Scott Peck's book "People of the Lie" talks about the construction of this house.

    SW, for me, is that fire buster. There is raw honesty here. Even the people who knife you have a raw honesty about that. They are a part of yourself. Dr F told this to Raven but she doesn't understand. If she hates someone, that person is her mirror. You cannot destroy the mirror as it will pop up, again and again. It's reflection is inside you. For me, someone like Raven is the mirror of people I try to run from and my own hate, more particularly. I am the mirror of her vulnerability. That is another layer of SW.

    At any rate,, the magic of SW, for me, is this quality of raw honesty. Few places allow this. They are afraid. ME, as a sociopath(if he is one) is not afraid. That brings me back to my original point about the adaptive advantage to being a sociopath LOL

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    Replies
    1. Monica,you are soooooooo tiresome and borderline/boring.Stop commenting for a while.

      Delete
    2. That wasn't me. I just got online not that long ago, and when that post was made, I was sleeping. Perhaps you're not very good at writing analysis even though you studied it all you life. Or you would have been able to tell right away that it wasn't me. In fact... this is the first time I've posted on today's blog.

      Delete
    3. Holy shit! I just now read your stupid comment about me Monica.

      Let me set you straight on a few things:
      Here is a list I've compiled of the real reason I, and many others dislike you.

      1. You repeat the same loopy shit over and over, as though you are either retarded, or you have dementia.

      2. You romanticize what a sociopath is, and your relationship with them, in the way a child romanticizes about marrying Peter Pan some day. You don't live in reality at all.

      3. You demonize anyone who disagrees with you, as if they have committed some kind of sin, instead of trying to learn something from what they have to say, or at least debating the subject like an adult.

      4. You put up all these kiss ass comments directed at whomever you happen to be idealizing at the moment, and then snipe at them under some other name, or as an anonymous, or turn on them the minute they turn out to be different from what you originally thought... or again; disagree with you in any way.

      5. You're pretentious, self Righteous, close minded, air headed, and superficial

      10. Eccentric, and not in a good way.

      11. You see intimacy where none exists.

      12. You latch on to every narcissist that walks into this place.

      13: You're haughty remarks at times give away how very fake your humility is.

      14: You're a snob, a prude, and a misogynistic

      13. And this angelic sociopath bullshit you're always trying to sell, does not exist. It goes against the very definition of a sociopath in every way.


      I think Medusa was also right when she told me that she believes you are incapable of having more than one enemy occupy your brain at a time, so you choose to believe that every person who takes a shot at you must be that one enemy. That doesn't change the fact that these anonymous people who keep making fun of you, or call you repulsive, are not me.
      The only people who have found you to be endearing at SW, or barely tolerable even... are people who are highly narcissistic, and eat up all you exaggerated flattery.

      I have always been straight forward about my disdain for you.

      Lastly, in regards to the very fake Dr. Frank, who was so obviously made up by a regular:

      I understood perfectly well what his/her diagnoses meant. That does not make his/her analysis about me entirely accurate.
      This person claims I can be easily lead by a very charismatic leader.

      Not true. I can't be lead by anyone. Not even if they are the most charming snake in the pit. The only charm I go for is the one that leads to really good sex. I can be lead into a bedroom, but that is about it. I don't give up control, no matter what, and I don't see anyone EVER, as being stronger than me. They are either as strong, or they are weaker than. That's the way I see it.
      That's why I do so much better working for myself.

      As far as black and white thinking. Yep. I know there are things I view on black and white terms, but that has nothing to do with how I see, or treat you. More often than not I am indifferent to most people.
      It takes a hell of a lot to stir me in either direction of that indifference.
      So if I don't like you, chances are you're the kind of person with a lot of unattractive qualities, that most people don't like. If I like you, chances are you have a lot of attractive qualities that I can make use of.

      Otherwise, you might as well be talking furniture. Nothing about you will stir enough in me, to remember you're even there.

      I just find you disastrously unattractive, Monica. Just face facts. It has nothing to do with my personality disorder. It's you.

      To the anon who is repulsed by Monica: You're Welcome.

      Delete
    4. Damnnit Get a Fucking LifeApril 26, 2012 at 4:26 PM

      Raven, do you ever go out or do you just stay by the computer all day?

      Delete
    5. ^Bravo! Thank you, thank you - my words, exactly!
      Deserving of every word!

      Delete
    6. Anon 4:29 was for Raven

      You go girl!

      Delete
    7. Raven comments and then tells herself she does a great job LMFAO. What a fucking great place this is.

      Delete
    8. Dammit Get a Fucking Life
      Bravo! Thank you so much---my words exactly @@@@@@@

      Delete
    9. ^Sorry, to burst your bubble - not true - I am not
      Raven.

      Delete
    10. Ok Anon I believe you *cough, sputter, gag, vomit, have the runs*

      Delete
    11. Anon 4:43 comments were for the 4:38 post. Sorry,
      how does it feel to be sooooooo wrong!

      Delete
    12. Anon 4:44

      There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it!

      Delete
    13. Brilliant Raven!

      Delete
    14. Dr Franklin FomentileApril 26, 2012 at 4:53 PM

      Raven, your acting out on this blog( and the mirroring which is attendant in your real life, I am quite sure) is due to your abusive background. Find a good support group. Don't expect people on a sociopath blog to understand you. Find a good therapist.I can recommend one, if need be.

      Sincerely,
      Dr F. Fomentile Phd

      Delete
    15. @Raven

      RepulsedAnon here, thank you for typing that all out. I wanted to do the same, but I just couldn't be bothered.

      @Monica

      You are a creature of detestably low intelligence and incredible self-delusion. Feel free to go die in a fire.

      Delete
    16. @F.Fomentile Phd........I thought many of us understood Raven quite well on her post of Monica.
      Are you trying to tell us that Monica has not been
      acting out? If that's the case, many would disagree.

      Delete
    17. No thanks Dr. Frank. I think your very lengthy analysis of me, is proof enough that you don't really know what you're talking about.
      After all, you claimed I am unaware of my black and white thinking. False. And where is this highly charismatic leader type, you've seen me get lead by?

      The bigger question here should be... Why are you studying me so closely to begin with? Infatuation?

      Thanks Dr. Frank. Really. But no thanks. :D

      Delete
    18. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhdApril 26, 2012 at 5:21 PM

      You are welcome, Raven. Take care.

      Delete
    19. Dr Frank sounds an awful lot like this faggot health teacher I had back in high school.

      I hate it when people like you try to assess/diagnose others. Only those of us without attachment are truly fit to do so.

      Delete
    20. what do you mean?

      Delete
    21. Haha! Nice anonymous 5:38!
      It would be very cool if there were more names up in here. Less confusing for those of us who have not studied writing analysis all our lives... :/

      Delete
    22. I thought about using a name, or creating an account, but posting anonymously is just easier.

      The narcissist in me is a little disappointed that I didn't, though, since I couldn't get any credit for the many, many Twitter quotes taken from my recent comments.

      How about this: I'll start thinking of a good handle to post under, and we'll become just the bestest of friends. Deal?

      Delete
    23. this is very nice

      Delete
    24. do you want to marry raven?

      Delete
    25. Ha! Snake... :p Do it for the Twitter credit if for no other reason.

      Delete
    26. Hermaphrodite--- raven marries raven ha ha ha

      Delete
    27. Snake it is, then. Pretty fitting, honestly. Snakes have always been my favorite animals, and I'm something of a snake myself.

      Now you and I can share our mutual disdain for Monica on a more *personal* level.

      Delete
    28. Expect to see me around. I post fairly frequently.

      Delete
    29. LMAO Raven and raven
      Add Turk and have a threesome

      Delete
    30. Raven, why does Monica get under your skin? i was just talking to a colleague this week and she was saying how her cousin always gets worked up talking to an elderly relative who always tells the same stories. she gets worked up in exactly the same way over the exact same story, again and again.

      when that happens to me i've found it means that in some way i care, or rather am trapped into caring, about what the other person thinks. they matter, when they shouldn't.

      Delete
    31. Rooster With One BallApril 26, 2012 at 6:14 PM

      I am a new member. I am Rooster with one ball. I have been posting as an Anon, too. Hello, Snake.

      Delete
    32. raven hates Monicas vulnerability because raven threw hers away.

      Delete
    33. Zoe
      Raven spends all on on this fucking website. SW is her life, for God's sake. Of course, Monica would drive her crazy. Raven, get yourself some outside activities. Get out in the air, at least.

      Delete
    34. @Zoe
      See list above... and it is not your concern, it's mine.

      Delete
    35. Hello, Rooster With One Ball. May I ask what happened to the other?

      Delete
    36. Welcome, Rooster With One Ball. Welcome, Snake.

      Delete
    37. Monica is the one always hating on Raven. She blames any anon comment that she doesn't like on Raven. She has even blamed some of my anon comments on Raven.

      Delete
    38. And some of mine, as well. It's pretty funny

      Delete
    39. Yep. I'm her scapegoat for everything she doesn't like at SW.

      Delete
    40. @Raven...

      I'm ZeZe; the person that approved of your post on
      Monica, also to Dr. F. Hello to Rooster and Snake.

      Delete
    41. Hello ZeZe... :D

      You see Monica? What was that phrase you loved to repeat so often? The truth shall set you free?

      Maybe you should practice what you preach.

      Delete
    42. This is ZeZe...

      I never made that statement to Monica? Am I getting
      this straight - I defended you and, now, your coming
      down on me?

      Delete
    43. No. I was saying hi to you, and then the rest of my post was directed at Monica.

      Delete
    44. Raven forgot a very important comma. Her post should have read like this:

      "You see, Monica? [...]"

      She wasn't attacking you, ZeZe

      Delete
    45. This is ZeZe

      I get it - and thanks - Raven and Snake......

      Delete
    46. Very true. Just needed that necessary comma, and it would have been more clear.

      Delete
    47. These things happen. Language is a fickle friend.

      Delete
    48. SO how long have you been coming here, Snake?

      Delete
    49. Raven
      You seem obsessed with this Monica chick. Let it go. Don't you have a life? You need to get one--just sayin'

      Delete
    50. Why would someone get obsessed with someone on a message board? I don't get it.

      Delete
    51. I found this blog about a month ago. I posted several lengthy comments on old threads. Here are a few:
      http://www.sociopathworld.com/2012/04/choosing-victimhood-or-not.html?showComment=1333698814149#c4776866598303153590

      This blog is pretty interesting, usually more for the comments than anything else. I really enjoy hearing other sociopaths describe their experience of life.

      Delete
    52. I don't know this Monica chick, Raven. It seems a little weird that you write such long posts on her.

      Delete
    53. Monica has Raven/anonymous paranoia. lol!

      Delete
    54. Just stating the obvious here: Fake Snake and "Ze-Ze" are the same troll.

      Ze-Ze never used their pseudonym in the name field

      Delete
    55. This is ZeZe

      @Raven
      There is a liar that posted the 7:42 to you.

      Delete
    56. Trolling on a sociopath blog: who's really being trolled here?

      Delete
    57. I agree. The comments usually hold my interest more, as well. I've actually learned a great deal about all the PDs.

      Delete
    58. Fuck if I can follow this stupid stuff.

      Delete
    59. Raven
      You could fuck up a wet dream.

      Delete
    60. This is ZeZe

      Anon 7:52 I'm not a troll but your an ass. And I don't use words like chick and weird.

      Delete
    61. My comment was to Snake.

      It's cool ZeZe. I can tell the difference.

      Delete
    62. This is ZeZe

      In the future I will be using Anonymous - so, the
      fake, lying asses will be using Ze-Ze.

      Delete
    63. This is a bunch of stupid trolls. Raven, get a life.

      Delete
    64. Someone is throwing a tantrum, me thinks. What happened to loving this place for its "raw honesty"?

      Delete
    65. I hate stupid shit. Grow up, Raven.

      Delete
    66. I like Raven. She is smart.

      Delete
    67. Raven is better than Monica. That Monica is a head case.

      Delete
    68. Just don't react to it, ZeZe. Its what happens around here. It's like what Post said up in the forum just today: A trolls objective is to disrupt the composure of the target. I already knew it wasn't you before you told me. One of the greatest tactics you can learn to use here, is to keep your composure. It drives people who need the validation of your reaction, crazy...

      Delete
    69. Raven has my vote.

      Delete
    70. You are the smartest one, Raven.

      Delete
    71. Raven is much better than Monica who is a an airhead.
      I love you, Raven.

      Delete
    72. Of course, Monica is stupid compared to Raven.

      Delete
    73. Raven has all of our votes.

      Delete
    74. I love you, Raven :D

      Delete
    75. hahaha! You're going to short circuit her brain. Keep going. I'll be haunting her dreams tonight. :)

      Delete
    76. I hear you, Raven. There are trolls here. Trolls are bad.

      Delete
    77. Actually, trolls can be a lot of fun, depending. Some of them are very entertaining. ;)

      Delete
    78. You are very popular Raven. You are very well liked.
      If anyone could be Miss Popular, it would be you.
      You have my vote :D

      Delete
    79. Flattery doesn't work on me, remember? So why are you using it?

      Delete
    80. I just got here and can tell that Raven rules SW.

      Delete
    81. Yes, she does. Monica, move over.

      Delete
    82. This is very pointed trolling...

      Delete
    83. Fucked up shit, Raven. You are a fucking head case.

      Delete
    84. But you see... even after I pointed out that the best thing you can do is not lose your composure... she can't seem to help herself. I'd say that is a prime example of someone who can't learn.

      Delete
    85. Monica, that is. She has to react no matter what.

      Delete
    86. Raven- what is the point of this? You are dumping SO much energy into something so useless.

      Delete
    87. What energy am I dumping? I posted an honest comment about why I don't like Monica, and the thread took on a life of its own. I'm simply enjoying the entertainment value of that life now.

      Monica and Dr. Frank, have been dumping far more energy on me than the other way around. I ended up with a 5 page review on why I act the way I do.

      Delete
    88. EVERYONE, is putting more energy into this than it deserves. You, Monica, fucking Dr. F. - and everyone else bothering to read this bullshit. And you know I'm including myself.

      Delete
    89. Well if it's too much energy for you anon 8:51, you should put yourself to bed. Isn't it past our bedtime anyway? I have plenty of energy left to spare.

      Delete
    90. You mean to waste?

      Delete
    91. Free entertainment is never a waste. I'm having a good time. That's all that matters, isn't it?

      Delete
    92. Is it really free if you're on the internet 12 hours a day?

      Delete
    93. Haha! that should have read, "your bedtime".

      Delete
    94. How would you know how long I'm on the internet? Is that how long you're on?

      Delete
    95. Raven, you're posts have dates and times next to them. Please. EVERYONE who can read, knows you're on here all day.

      Delete
    96. You show your desperation in that comment. Just like many other here, I post on my spare time, and then I go back to what I'm doing.

      Delete
    97. And I think you're right. It is past "our" bedtime. lol. I don't have plenty of energy to spare because I have a life. So, goodnight. Have fun with your trolls.

      Delete
    98. Goodnight, Monica. Make sure to tuck yourself into bed with that denial, so you don't have any nightmares. :)

      Delete
    99. Wow. You guys are totally right. Raven first posted on this thread at 9:32 A.M. and then posted the second time at 4:17 P.M. That's almost 7 hours where she wasn't posting. She has no life!

      Faggots!

      Delete
    100. If Raven was in my real life, I would be afraid to go out the door lol

      Delete
    101. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhdApril 27, 2012 at 6:22 AM

      The SW bug bit me, too. I find myself reading, as I am a human being as well.
      I am drawn to why Raven would have an obsession with someone like Monica who seems to come to answer the questions posed. Monica does not seem to engage others other than in the intellectual arena. Raven, do you have these kinds of obsessions in your real life?

      Delete
    102. ^^says the creepy doctor who is only interested in coming here to study Raven.

      Delete
    103. Dr Franklin FomentileApril 27, 2012 at 6:40 AM

      Raven seems like the one with the most acute pathology. Raven caught my eye while Monica seems pretty well balanced. At any rate, enough time spent here, for now.

      Delete
    104. ^^what a suspicious thing to say.

      Delete
    105. raven and monica are not the only ones who come here. i think youre a creeper.

      Delete
    106. we should have an "ask dr fomentile" section lmao

      Delete
    107. he could analyze people but i am sure he is too busy.

      Delete
    108. not so busy that he can't takes what was probably weeks of studying raven day in and day out, to come up with a blog sized analysis on her. I think he's a creep. stop acting like you know this creeper, anon. raven needs to watch her back. he probably already knows her home address.

      Delete
    109. not so busy that he couldn't study raven for what was probably weeks, day in and day out, to come up with the blog sized diagnoses he did on her. I think he's a creep. Stop acting like you know this creeper, anon. raven needs to watch her back. he probably already knows where she lives.

      Delete
    110. i guess the first one posted after all. i hate my computer. :(

      Delete
    111. raven is the creeper. that is why dr f came on. he could see raven is the stalker type

      Delete
    112. raven was scary last night. what did monica do to be hated that much? that is what is creepy about raven? wtf

      Delete
    113. why do you keep acting like you know this guy? he didn't say he saw her as the stalker type. when he diagnosed her, he had all positive things to say. now he's changing his attitude by saying he she is the worst case here. he should go to the forum. there are way worse people floating in that pool. i think he's weird. raven seems fine to me. she just doesn't like monica, and she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. i don't like monica either. i'm glad she put up what she did.

      Delete
    114. raven put a picture of her own child on a sociopath blog. that is fucking creepy. raven is the creeper in this.

      Delete
    115. there are some good people on SW and some creeps. raven is the latter. wtf

      Delete
    116. when did raven do that?

      Delete
    117. a while back

      Delete
    118. you are on a blog for sociopaths. what are you doing here if ur so easy to scare?

      Delete
    119. i want to see where she did that. why was she putting her child's picture up? did she tell you? what blog?

      Delete
    120. never mind that i asked that. i'll let raven tell me herself if it's true.

      Delete
    121. Well now...

      What do ya know. Some people will sink to a level lower than even a sociopath, just to pull the people around them into their hatred.

      Do not listen to the anonymous person who is telling you I posted my child's picture up on this blog. That is fabrication in every way, and this person knows it.

      You are truly beneath me anonymous 3:35. There are many things I will do to win, but I won't make up lies about you to do it. You are desperate, and of extremely poor character, and I should hope you beg God's mercy for the hatred you have displayed today.

      On a lighter note...
      It's the fucking weekend! Time to do some serious damage to my brain cells! :D

      Delete
    122. it is good that you have some bottom to which you won't go, raven. that is a positive. try to build up this side of you, more.

      Delete
    123. Too bad the same can't be said for you, anonymous 5:34. Don't tell me what to do with my sides. You are too low to deserve me acknowledging your existence from this moment on. I must ask you to never speak my name again, with you slanderous tongue.

      But I'm glad you did it. It only proves to everyone who reads this thread, that I am better than you. hahaha!

      Delete
    124. That was me. Of course. :D

      Delete
    125. hope you learned some lessons, raven. God knows, you need them.

      Delete
    126. is that a fucking threat or a promise :D

      Delete
    127. please make it a promise.

      Delete
    128. In answer to Zoe's question. It wasn't about her getting under my skin, and sometimes I question your ability to see things as plainly as I thought you could. It's about who's buttons are the most fun to push. :)

      Delete
    129. you said Goodbye so Good bye it is. Maybe, you can keep Dr Fomentile away, if you are good.

      Delete
    130. Susanna: What the fuck are you doing Lisa?
      Lisa: Playing the villain, baby, just like you want. I try to give you everything you want.
      Susanna: No you don't.
      Lisa: You wanted your file, I found you your file. You wanted out, I got you out. You needed *money*, *I* found you some. I'm fucking consistent-I told you the truth-I didn't write it down in a *fucking book*! I told you to your *face*. And I told Daisy to her face - what everybody knew and wouldn't say, and she killed herself. And I played the fucking villain, just like you wanted.
      Susanna: Why would I want that?
      Lisa: Because it makes you the good guy, sweet pea.

      Delete
  5. Charged, well feeling iPod will work better, longer. You look after an iPod you can use, because it enterntains you, if you don't want to listen to music, you just leave your iPod somewhere, until you need it again. Simple :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. that was the only time I saw something that resembled true vulnerability that and when I made him jealous..I've never had a man look at me with such desire or at the same time feel like he was trying to get control of himself and couldn't. Under his "mask" there was some sort of very powerful need to be in control, dominate, maybe he sensed I was that "good girl" who he could totally corrupt. Looking back on it with a little more experience I should have been scared but I was enticed instead. If he wasn't so good looking I would have ran and fast ..but that combined with the nice guy demeanor, the investment banker job and I stayed. Then again American Psycho is what I joked to him that he reminded me of and it was our first date watching it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. so back to my question..is there a moment when a sociopath is vulnerable when you do something they don't expect and they can't control the emotion in front of you and you see maybe something real? or is it always fake?

    ReplyDelete
  8. there are many real emotions in the person.

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  9. This article expanded perfectly on a point I made on SW once. I don't have the emotional reiteration that most people do. When I do good for someone else, its more experimental than anything. I have worked on my independence from others to avoid parasitism. I've tried to taylor my tendencies to more learning and disarming, than ruining. But I still catch myself snapping back into old habits. My life teeters back and fourth from interesting to pointless, and back to interesting. I very much understand anon 4:10. The fact that I've burned through multiple friend circles does not bother me often, but once in a while.. The loneliness & depression can be painful.

    I was thinking about groups of people that will never speak to me again. No joke- one group put a prayer circle. Ok, that is pretty funny. ;) But its depressing overall. My ex fiance sent me a hate text out of the blue after YEARS of not speaking with me. We had broke on "good" terms and it took him 3 years to actually put the pieces together. (Not the brightest crayon in the box) He still doesn't have it all figured out. He informed me that the few mutual friends we shared think I'm messed up and no longer want to talk to me. And I don't care. So my world shrunk again. I know how to make it grow. Those are the facts.

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking about how a relationship with a sociopath can infect you in a way..I felt like I caught his "coldness" the way I viewed people men in particular was a very different. SOrt of dehumanized them and the worst part was I realized the worse I treated them the meaner I was the more they liked me...very sick actually

      Delete
    2. I think it is the ugliness of human nature. The sociopath just admits it.

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    3. I agree Monica. Anon, I can see what you mean. I don't think its something you can catch like a cold, but I do think knowing a sociopath expands your idea of the world. Learning about a sociopath gives you insight into yourself and what feels like "catching" it, may just be depression from the things you were not ready to learn. Or trauma, if you suffered some abuse. PTSD can feel cause feelings of numbness. I was curious to see if someone had a disposition genetically to Sociopathy, if mental/emotional abuse could "wake them up" to the other half of their nature. I think, for most of us this stems from survival.
      I guess all I can say is that be glad that you are not a self pitying victim/martyr. Now that you've faced a truth most people can't swallow, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to harness it? Or go back to comfortable thinking.

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    4. Someone quoted Scott Peck and I was really surprised
      that a sociopath would even go.....there. His book,
      "The People of the Lie," is about evil and those moving toward evil and those having no shame from being evil. How sad!

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    5. I am not a sociopath.

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    6. ^ I don't believe you!

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    7. I am Anon 8:33 and I am not Raven. Sorry, your lie
      doesn't work - all the time

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    8. Thank you for the insightful responses..

      Grey - in terms of how I am dealing with this insight it's funny because it's something I had seen a bit with other people (mean human nature) just never to this extent as I did with this one person. "He" was a revelation lol. I find myself switching back and forth. I think I've always had two sides to my personality I've always been the nice girl, very sweet, good grades, good school, law school, etc. I have the long blonde hair and I'm tall and skinny and I guess I've always liked to play men with being the tease but I never took it too far. After my experience with "him" I started taking it to another level and turned the game into something else. I hurt a lot of people for no real reason really good guys who cared and I felt "nothing". It was a game to see how many I could make fall in love with me. I said all the right things, acted the right way some of the time (other times I was mean and they liked it even more for some reason..)In sum I acted like I never cared, all that mattered was my appearance, what I wore and how turned on they were just by sitting next to me. It was that look in the eyes I was addicted to like they are under your power and have no control over their own need. The sociopath I had a relationship with always looked at me so intensely like he was either really in love or in hate with me or both I wasn't sure but it was beyond anything anyone else felt or showed torward me and that was what drew me to him. I'm married now with kids but I still feel affected by this experience and how it changed me and this is cheaper than therapy:) lol thanks
      am I a sociopath I don't think so but what is the saying if you look into the darkness long enough it looks back at you.

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    9. I understand very much what you're saying. You have duel sides, like most people. You have a victim's insight with men. You can sympathize with them, even when you are using them. You create situations where you have power, because A: it feels good. and B: it gives you control. Someone disempowered you once and you are trying to get your power back with new man-victims, lol. In order to sustain that feeling of short-lived power, many people were required. What you are actually searching for is safety, but it translates to power over others. Until you realize that hurting others is not the same as protecting yourself, this could continue.
      Your sociopath took something from you. Taking the same thing from others doesn't give you back what you lost. And that's were reality bites. Its an inefficient way to empower yourself. Find real power. Better yourself. Embrace your darkness, and your light. On your OWN terms.

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    10. I can't decide if Sociopath World is psycho-school, or a support group.. ;/ (sigh)

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    11. You're right...I sought power and found it a waste of time I got bored since he wasn't there to see it (although I flaunted my infedility like a game to him..thinking I would win lol). I sought safety and I found it and now what? I feel twisted and fraud like in this life. There was never any resolution. He had a very profound effect on me and it hurts and it's always there he unfortunately has shaped me to be who I am someone very confused..even to this day. So many men I cared nothing about who were really great guys who even wanted to marry me after knowing me for very little other women would kill to be with them and I am influenced most by this perverted evil guy who used me, completely ruthless and I totally succumed to every whim anything he wanted...and was engaged all the while to someone a religous girl and I wasn't good enough lol it's like out of a textbook. It's not just a bad boy thing it's much worse it's someone who is Mr. Nice, so sweet, says all the right things, Harvard Business school is "perfect" and I guess therein lays the problem no one is. sociopaths are very good at appearance I learned a lot from him. You can be anyone to anyone whatever they want you fit the mold, tell them what they want to hear, look good the one the guys compete for and sit back and listen lol;) he told me once between his stint at an investment bank and business school he was a male escort then pretended he lied just for laughs but I think he really did it though he is "religous" lol

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    12. Grey - the above post is to your comment.

      btw I do feel like this a support group it feels so good to vent this stuff and let it go..the things I am revealing are very dark and difficult for me I couldn't even do it with a therapist face to face. only anon here and now that's why i am rambling. I can't admit to some of the things I've done not even to myself. Or some of the things I've allowed done to me by a sociopath with a very sick mind and how he has sickened my mind in return. I feel like I've been distorted on the inside in many ways and I can't go back but I wish so much i could and for some reason it's always there..this feeling that I can't really put into words...it's not loss of innocence or trust or PTSD, etc. it's a coldness in me this feeling of isolation by this experience and having kids, or being married, or being with friends and family doing "normal" things, working, etc., doesn't make it go away. I don't know what is wrong with me but it's not a passing thing. Any sociopath/doctors here? lol

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    13. Grey--- you are brilliant.

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    14. Anon
      Let me ask you some things? I think one of two things may have happened to you.One was that you were abused and polarized into good and bad side. You may have done it without severe abuse, even. It nay be part of the human condition, to do so.

      The other may be that this man opened up parts of you that people are not meant to open such as when a person tastes heroin.It is said to open up a center which was not meant to be opened through drugs. It can be opened up through spiritual practices such as a mystic will do. In that case, the person would be fine as he was prepared for the opening. In the latter case, it is opened up, slowly, and through disciplined steps.

      I have a funny feeling it is the latter case with you. This man opened up "depraved" parts of you(which are in everyone btw) that could have stayed dormant. If they had stayed dormant, you would not have tasted the heroin, so to speak. They say that the heroin addict searches for the first fix, again and again, but never can repeat it.

      This is my 2 cents. Take it as such. Grey helped me a great deal with her comment. You can tell there is wisdom and understanding there. That can't be faked. When it is, it is a cheap imitation as in a fake diamond which turns yellow and belies that it was ever a diamond.We have many of those on SW. You will see if you stick around and I hope you will.

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    15. Thanks anonymous for your comment - yes you are totally right he was a fix. At first everything started off very sweet and romantic I couldn't believe how much I liked him. I had never fallen for a guy so hard. we were seeing each other every day texting, calling every 5 minutes this went on for 3 months we still hadn't "hooked" up at that point. I made a big mistake and blurted out teh "L word" and said I wanted to be exclusive and I would become religious for him, blah, blah, blah. He was taken aback wasn't sure he said we needed to get to know each other more he was confused if he even wanted to be religious anymore how could he ask so of me (Jewish Orthodox but you wouldn't guess it no outward clothing, no yamakah, etc.) I tried breaking it off unsuccessfully. Anyway we weren't exclusive so I made myself date other guys telling myself he would just be a short fling and one night he overheard me talking to a guy while he was in my apartment (in my bed lol), I was a little drunk and thought he couldn't hear me. He flew into a rage, crying, but I told him again we don't have a commitment what do you expect? maybe a part of me wanted to get caught to make him jealous get him to commit. Wow the mask came off the mean side came out. He stayed and he gradually payed me back...things were very different. He showed me what he was really into. I really fell for him and he could tell and would bring it up a notch slowly day by day. I wasn't abused as in punched or slapped was I covered in bruises from him being rough yes... I was addicted to him and gradually gentleness, sweetness, soft normal human relations, commitment, monogamy, words like love started to feel like a foreign concept. I kept telling myself it was just a fling but after spending so much time together I fell for him more and more. I thought he was too otherwise why wouldn't he get bored it's not like he couldn't meet someone else, in fact he was constantly hit on by men and women in front of me. Still we spent almost every day together and laughed had fun, etc. Then one day he said he engaged to an Orthadox girl and that was it. I was hurt and lashed out at other people. I did things very out of character for me. I didn't like myself anymore I turned all my relationships into a power game. I changed as a person and not for the better. I am still trying to find my way again and be "normal". It gets worse..a year or so passed after he was engaged and I got engaged and one night after going out with girlfriends and getting drunk I left him a voicemail telling him I wanted "to see how he was doing" and told him about getting engaged. I was so embarrassed I did that. well..he called back it was like old times, banter, flirting we chatted for a long time I forgot how much I hated him or what a monster he was..we started chatting online. It started off innocent of course it turned degenerate and we were having chats for hours and hours at a time. what power does he have over me I don't get it.

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    16. Keep coming back. Stay here and talk as you are. I understand. You are not alone, anymore. People here get it. Watch out for the A-holes and you will be just fine LOL

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  10. Does anyone here know how a relationship with a sociopath can change a person or seen it firsthand?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Grey wrote about it above.

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    2. More interesting question, how well would the relationship between to sociopaths be?

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    3. My girlfriend changed after dating me. For the better. Shes not as dumb as before, and follows direction perfectly now.

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    4. ^She suffers from Stockhome Syndrome, huh?

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    5. Anonymous - probably wouldn't work well for 2 sociopaths to be togethor they like control they don't like it the other way around AT ALL..from what I've seen. In fact it seems to me they dread more than anything losing it or being humiliated in any way. is that right sociopaths out here lol:)?

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    6. Boy, this is refreshing sociopaths blaming other
      sociopaths........lol...lol

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    7. Humiliation comes from shame. Sociopaths do not experience shame or guilt.

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    8. A Narc is full of shame.

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    9. Put those two together, and you have yourself an anxiety and stress ridden socio

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    10. Those who have no conscience at all is a group unto themselves, whether they be homicidal tyrants or merely ruthless social snipers. Who said narc's fall
      in this category?

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    11. 2 socios = (depending on who knows what) relationship, of a sort. fuckbuddies maybe. competitive games, an equal to laugh at the stupidity of the world with, the excitement of risking everything on the chance that you can destroy them before they destroy you. Basically always on guard, but always someone to play with.

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    12. ^Yes, paranoia is one of their characteristics....

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    13. Like what you have to say about it Anonymous 1:29. Very well put.

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    14. Sociopaths provide a service, we target the weak and after we are done with them they are either broken or stronger for having dated us.

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    15. You got a point lol

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  11. You don' have to do anyrhing but give it up. A latter day female George Plimton needs to give it up to someone who understands her plight. Booms Farm is an aquired taste.

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  12. Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and will not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He too went away disappointed.The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was asked, though she turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.Question: What was the object in the prince's pants??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was he a horse?

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    2. A carrot he got from the quantum star asteroid that he had found earlier that day, after a long vigorous day of struggling with his cow who was better at chess.

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    3. lol I will say the sociopath I was talking about in my earlier post was tall 6'7 not very bulky or skinny looked alot like a mix between Christian Bale and Ashton Kutcher. he definitely used his height and looks to intimidate people and he was into being dominant..and I was the opposite in a way all my life without realizing what that meant (teacher's pet, straight A student, quiet, shy,etc.)

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    4. Was it his penis?

      I bet it was his penis.

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    5. something that was already wet, that's what he had in his pants. You can't melt something that's already wet or melted.

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    6. "She felt something hard"

      Swing and a miss, scooter

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    7. It was about how bad he wanted me..when he looked at me it was like he was losing control saw it in his face his eyes, no one had looked at me with so much want, lust, etc. before it was a rush. I thought he was "perfect"...and in a way he could appear to be but he was also a person not to be messed around with, I didn't know what I was dealing with and realize now how out of my depth I was. Like a moth to the flame..learned many many lessons from him..the evil kind that you don't soon forget...he taught me those especially well;)

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  13. The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
    - Kin Hubbard

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  14. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhdApril 26, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    Just want to say how much I enjoy reading SW in my down time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In local news: How many fucks do we give?

      Tune in at 11 to find out. The answer may surprise you.

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  15. It's been a Monica feeding frenzy day.Shall we spit out the bones???

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    Replies
    1. With all those bones, make sure you don't choke on a splinter.

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  16. M.E. Who are you?I imagine you to be at times amused,and at times bored by your covenant of followers,but always all powerful when you can evoke all this and just sit back,behind your screen,and be passive.

    You need a swift crop across your buttocks,and a big unlubed dildo in your toosh.

    Spice it up,interact with your covenant,because it's starting to get stale.

    Some of the posts are interesting,others are much to be desired.

    From a marketing perspective you need to upgrade. Find what works best for you.I want to rush to my screen,but I am not lately,and I haven't been on that long.It's starting to feel very 80's.

    What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?

    ReplyDelete

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