Thursday, October 7, 2010

Being socio and black

I am very interested in a sociopath's sense of identity (or lack of identity, as is more frequently the case). I don't really identify with my own gender, race, ethnicity, place of origin, which is why I'm so interested in hearing from the male vs. female socio perspective, socios from different countries and backgrounds, etc. I asked one of our readers to talk about how he identifies with his own readily identifiable identity markers, and it's both interesting and banal at the same time, perhaps most interesting in its banality.
I thought I would write you something about what it feels like to be black and conscienceless. I thought it would be a longish email too. Funny thing is, there is nothing to tell really. Nothing that you don't already get. Sure, there is the black culture, of which I am part by virtue of the color of my skin. I did grow up in what is euphemistically referred to as an “urban center”. I saw a couple of dead people in front of my house growing up, drug deals gone down next door to me, etc. But I am as detached from my racial identity as I am from every other identity marker.

I have a penis and I know how to use it. But I don’t feel like a man per se. I am 35, but I don’t feel like a card carrying member of Generation X. I am a natural born American citizen, yet I do not feel any emotional investment in this country. I like the capitalism and I find the Founding Fathers interesting in their mix of pragmatism and idealism, but otherwise, I would no more die for this country than I would for anything else. I am detached from all of it.

That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy some things about black culture because I do. I grew up on soul food and when done well, it is delicious. Unhealthy, but delicious. I appreciate soulful singing. Not many other groups can pull that kind of singing off. That sort of thing. But had I grown up in the Civil Rights era, for instance, I would have been more interested in how I might use that movement to advance my own agenda rather than how I can help the race as a whole, know what I mean? Sure you do!

I will say this. I do have a deep aversion to police. I hate them. Kind of. But I don’t know if that stems from some kind of racial consciousness or from my own inborn anti-sociality. Or both.
We should get Hare to add to his PCL-R "intense hatred and distrust of the police and other pseudo-enforcement related individuals."

102 comments:

  1. I don't really identify with my own gender, race, ethnicity, place of origin

    Yep yep yep and yep, though I'm in-between worlds on all counts.

    It has defined me quite a bit, though. Or rather, has kept me from being defined.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thats because if you look at who they put in prison can you blame any black or brown person for hating the police?

    It's kind of like how you could expect women to hate the church in some time periods, or jews to hate the government of germany in a specific time period. Who is the number 1 target of police across the USA? The black sociopath male.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mm I don't have much to say, at least you know i'm still reading, maybe lets get some more topics on manipulation or survial of the corporate workplace. Could be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Savagelight said...
    "Thats because if you look at who they put in prison can you blame any black or brown person for hating the police?"
    Police officers don't put people in prison. The judicial system puts people in prison.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The judicial system doesn't go around arresting people—the fucking police do…if they didn't arrest them, then the people running the system wouldn't take that as a sign of lawlessness and send them to prison.

    You avoid the police, not jury duty. I mean, think about it...if you're picked, you can have the power over someone else's freedom. That's always fun!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good one no one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Power is a funny thing. Police authority abuse it on a daily basis. I wonder how man s/p's become cops simple because of the power having that badge brings. Its funny, I was watching an episode of dexter this morning and thats when it clicked. I felt conected to the world and got that tingly feeling. It also amazed me at how diffent my reactions are to some of the scenes when wacthing by myself versus with someone. There reaction is one of gast and disgust where i simply enjoy the show, but i have to keep apperances and gauge my reactions appropriatly. When by myself i can enjoy the show 10x more because i dont have to act. Anybody else have that problem trying to make show no one knows that you relate to dexter? Not in the sense that he's a killer, but, that he as a s/p has the void of emptiness from not being able to have actual feelings and must control the urges we have to be impulsive and take risks all for some machavillian sense of power.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Megalomaniac, I was discussing this the other day. Whenever I watch a TV show with someone else watching, or just in the room with me, I find myself adjusting to way I react, wincing and laughing at appropriate times.
    Whereas when I watch the same show alone I do this much less, if at all.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anon said, "You avoid the police,"

    I don't avoid the police. I do avoid being arrested by not putting myself in a position to be caught breaking laws that would send me to jail or prison.

    ReplyDelete
  10. anon, i guess that has to do with the mask wearing. If you dont react correctly, regular people think something is wrong with you. Here's something interesting about the Governmently agency's that enforce this contry's law's. If you can tell when one of them is setting up a trap for you, of course you do everything you can to avoid it. Ultimately society deems you as rubush and evaulates you from a psychological standpoint, which reinforces mask waring to mantain the ilussion of identity. I dont identify with any national pride because i strongly distrust those in power. I dont identify with my race since i dont feel it as a sense of origin. Simply put i was born and now im just here. I look at the empaths and see the sense of identity and beloning, maybe not to there race or country, but to whatever social circle there in or professional path they have chosen. I on the other hand simple exist. Most of my social interactions i always try to design for my benifit some how and im always putting on a show so i can blend in. This lack of identity frustrates me, but, at least my ability to manipulate people and to create a pesona is such an advantage in the sales world it allows me to play the game.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's not the police running the States, which is where the OP is from I'm guessing. Like all capitalist countries the economic situation of different portions of the country reflect the way the police treat you in that region. The States stifled black economic development, which is why you have a disportionate amount in prison and poor. The police are just soldiers carrying out the policies of whatever regime is in.
    In my country I used to be routinely harrassed by the police. Since I was fourteeen I was arrested every single year sometimes twice a year if they let me out in time to permit it. I ended up doing a few years, but I won't go into details. I've been out the last five years and I haven't been arrested once. The difference is I decided to blend in, if I was going to break the law. I drive around in a suit and tie, so I never get pulled over. My family thinks I'm in the music business, and I dont even talk to my neighbors.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The police are just soldiers carrying out the policies of whatever regime is in.

    Bullshit. A large portion of the police carry out their own policies (often sociopathic ones) and justify them by the fact that they are law enforcement. They pick and choose when they turn a blind eye and when they don't. It's so often about power, not the law, and not just the current economic state.

    It's way complicated over here.

    ReplyDelete
  13. megalomaniac Said Simply put I was born and now I'm just here. I look at the empaths and see the sense of identity and belonging,

    I could be nit picking, in fact I am nitpicking but I'm not quite sure how you do this, for me unless its a physical act such as crying, or a look on their face I can not see or emulate a sense or an emotion.

    For Example - I can't see a sense of belonging, I know those in a group have a sense of belonging but I can't see it, I can act like they act to maybe belong for a little while but ultimately I can't get them to take me in because lets face it unless you stalk someone 24/7 you can never know the appropriate action for every situation, your arsenal is always incomplete and they will always catch you out eventually,which is why I always end up changing jobs every 2 years or so.

    My point is basically I'm not sure why your frustrated over a lack of identity, I have never had one identity, I have 6, not in name, but I have a rapidly growing repertoire of personalities and masks, I am not sure what it is to have an identity or a sense of belonging, so why be frustrated over something I have never had ?

    Its early maybe I'm not explaining myself well, but what I mean is, you can't be angry at the loss of something you never had ? maybe, I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Of course they are corrupt. I'm speaking generally. There is corrupt police in every country. The States, believe it or not, does not have the most corrupt police force in the world by far, so don't exagerate how different it is where you are. Americans are very centralized around their own little world. The poorer the country, the worse the police. The poorer the people, the worse treatment you get. Your country is far from poor and far from complex, however it is you who is making a compicated problem into something simple. Are you telling me it is a police issue? Come on.
    If you think my statement is bullshit than ride around in the neighborhoods of the people benefiting from your economy and see how the police are treating them. I bet you will find corruption and brutality non existant.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It's more in the way they interact, they have purpose and goals that there going after where as for people like us its a learning curve. I guesse what i ment is that i became tired of the game, of having to pretend to care. Smokin herb instead of cigs is not socially acceptable but it helps connect with with a certain set of people and really keeps that impulsive edge off. Damn those punk police though you can buy beer in this country through a drive through liquar store but you cant decide what goes in your own ciggerates. I like what my friends like and i can use this to my adavantage. I have this one uber-empath friend though and it amazes me how caring she is. Its hard for me to fathom how some one can realy care so much for everthing in the world around her sometimes i want to ask her whats the point. It must be hardwired in her brain to be caring the same way my brain is geared purly for my own survival. After much pressure i finally was able to put a lable on what i wanted to be in life but only to please those around me, for the regular folk they were able to do that a long time ago. I just wish those things came a lil more natually.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Some other me, I wish i could say what that sense of belonging my friends have because i dont know what its is. Im always feeling detached and in constant need of stimulation whereas others are content with just being with each other and wathcing tv. Regular people go to the movies and can enjoy it. I see no point to it other then to please my significant other and gives something to waste a couple of hours. Why does it seem that others are living life but im just letting time pass me by no matter what kind of situation im in?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I guess thats why I am always of the opinion that for me there is peace in chaos.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Very well put destruction is a pretty good stress release.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Its not the destruction, its the distraction. I keep distracted because other wise I would do silly things to hurt my wife and I guess myself in the end.

    I know ultimately if I am bored, my rules don't apply to even me. so i keep busy.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I certainly suffer from a lack of identity, I almost feel as though there is no real me. Of course I always put up a front around other people, showing them exactly what it is that they want to see but sometimes I feel as though I don't even really know what it is that I'm hiding behind the mask. Like you meglomaniac I also feel competly directionless, i'm not really living i'm just existing and I don't really care about anything that happens in the world unless it directly effects me. Meglomaniac, do you genuinely like what your friends like? because i feel as though I have absolutely nothing in commen with my "friends". In fact I don't even really care about them at all.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Of course they are corrupt. I'm speaking generally. There is corrupt police in every country. The States, believe it or not, does not have the most corrupt police force in the world by far, so don't exagerate how different it is where you are.

    I do not doubt any of this.

    But what we are specifically talking about here is being black and being in America. And how being black effects how you are treated by law enforcement. This issue in many ways is an American phenomenon, due to history and the like. I'm not comparing the amount of corruption from one country to another.

    Of course the black issues in America are not created by the police, but they most certainly don't mind continuing it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If you don't want to be stereotyped, don't behave stereotypically.
    If you want to blend in, wear an appropriate mask and camouflage yourself into your surroundings.

    ReplyDelete
  24. It's not so easy to camouflage your skin color.

    People will stereotype you no matter how much you do not behave stereotypically.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Americans created the race problem in their country. The police are perpetuating it. They are far from the root of the problem, as all they do is enforce it. Every white american I have come across has been the most bigoted of people I have ever met in the world. They are even ignorant of cultures in their own country. Take their world view and their ignorance only unfolds even further. I guess that's what happends when a country focuses on prisons and war, instead of health care and education. All you see is criminals and terrorists.
    It's not a American phenomenon, it's called colonization. The brits did it to my country as well. Now we are second class citizens in our own country. To them we are all terrorists and criminals.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The suggestions I made about camouflaging yourself into your surroundings were addressed to the ongoing conversation about socios blending in with non-socios.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ah Aerianne, I see. Sorry.

    Though my point still stands, and sort of relates.

    In general, black people are more often treated as if they are sociopaths, or as if they are more likely to be sociopaths than white dudes.

    This might make it more difficult to sometimes impossible for a black sociopath to blend in with white non-sociopaths.

    (I'm sticking to the race thing for this thread, because I find it interesting.)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ukan, totally agree with you. A couple of months ago I was all ready to move to Norway, where the people don't seem like they are as dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Aerianne, I don't doubt at all your understanding of the issue. But I'm interested in the conversation anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  31. All the middle management at my job were forced to endure a leadership training seminar several years ago. The instructor went around the room asking random people to describe their identity, without talking about roles, actions or physical descriptors. Just tell everyone who you are on the inside. I was unfortunate enough to be called on first, and I honestly couldn't think of one thing to say. I hadn't really thought about not having an identity until that moment. If others had gone first, I would have had a clue on what sort of lie to throw out there, but instead, I was speechless and uncomfortable.

    I've given it thought from time to time since then, and I still haven't come up with anything that identifies me, or that I identify with in any meaningful way.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm guessing that your Irish UKan?(I'm British)

    ReplyDelete
  33. That's my guess as well.

    The Irish seem to love me for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What I dont understand is why people say it's hard to fit in as a sociopath. You're not actually going around telling people how you think are you? I can't walk into a place and not become the life of it. I'm not saying life as a sociopath has been easy, but fitting in is not the difficult part. For me it's mostly fighting my instincts to be destructive to the point of destroying myself. Like the blood lust article, though I didn't want to comment on it, strikes me as a difficulty I can relate to, though in more extreme situations. I used to be extremely violent, and very vindictive. I used to plan my violence, and execute it. As I've grown older and got pinched a few times I've learned better. Even living that type of life I could still blend in. It was the hatred that gave me away.
    I do hate the authorities for the same reason as the author of the email. I've learned to look at them different in order to evade them. They enforce the will of the state, and I am avoiding them. Their job is to catch me and mine is to evade capture. If you look at it from this light it takes your hatred from the picture, which blinds your judgement. It allows you to be more pragmatic. I think this has turned my life around significiantly.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I think it's interesting to hear people, who supposedly don't have passionate feelings, speaking about "hate".

    ReplyDelete
  36. " For me it's mostly fighting my instincts to be destructive to the point of destroying myself."

    What do you mean by that UK?

    Gabriel and UK, do either of you have any health problems? I mean physical health nothing else.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  38. It is not the fitting that is hard, its the being fitted in for long periods of time that i find hard because I can't have all the answers all the time for every situation something is bound to come up where I don't know the appropriate action to seem normal, and then people start noticing I am different and that causes me to want to lash out so when that happens I know its time to move on, in interviews I categorize my moving from job to job every 2 or 3 years as me trying to find a challenge and it usually works. I work as an area manager for a retail chain in Australia at the moment, I find that these kind of positions allow me enough fiscal freedom to do what I need to do, and what I want to do, it keeps me distracted so I don't do silly things and I can relish in some desires if I need to. being the boss of a region allows me to be how ever I want to be around my stores and they can't do anything about it, but change to what they want when I meet with the higher ups. I might even stay longer this time.

    @gabe, tough situation how did the fallout go ? I would be a little cross with myself at not being able to move through the situation, but as you say nothing to emulate. It's what I fear.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I wanted to say more but my son came over to me asking to use the computer.

    Anyway, I'm wondering if sociopaths have the same physical reactions to angry feelings and having to use self control(holding back feelings or words)that I might have. I used to have delayed panic attacks and my stomach bothered me. Not so much anymore though:) I simply don't care so much anymore.

    Grace

    Grace

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  40. It case you don't know, the above post was from Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  41. @S.O.M.,

    I was already known as being a somewhat quiet person, in the sense that I don't interact that much, except purely on business. I don't think anyone really took it as anything other than my "quietness," though it felt awkward.

    I'd never had anyone ask me a question like that, and certainly had no reason to suspect it would happen at work, so I wasn't angry at myself. I'm only angry at myself if I should have known how to handle something better.

    @Grace,

    What makes you ask if UKan or I have any health problems? You have me curious.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I don't have any illnesses. Strange question

    ReplyDelete
  43. To Basically human. I think i like the things my friends like simple to fit in,Its been this way for a while. I could give a damn about whats on tv as long as its a good distraction. Im constantly playing out scenarios to make sure i dont get out of line accidently and i always have to watch the things i say so that my friends don't think I'm getting one over. It's mindnumbing work but its necessary to keep up a happy-go-lucky image to be well liked

    ReplyDelete
  44. Do Socios routinely end up lapsing into utterly listless and apathetic periods where they do nearly nothing at all? i only witnessed it happening for a few days max with my ex. But he went from being very charming, communicative and social to just totally MIA. To me, to the rest of the world. Barely eating, barely moving at some points. And then *poof* snapped out of it.

    Sometimes it would happen as a reaction to some mundane inconvenience (car trouble) and sometimes seemingly over nothing at all. At the time I thought it was depression, the utter apathy that would occur, not caring at all about work, previous obligations, sex, eating, NOTHING.... was unsettling.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Sociopaths suffer from boredom. Especially when they conquer something they were obsessing on. Boredom can be a destructive or creative force for anyone, but in sociopaths cases it is a extreme one way or the other.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Obsession is the other thing that would do it. If he has something he's obsessing on like a problem or issue he will not eat, fuck or sleep. I take back what I said above, however when they are bored they're similiar in their attitude, but their sexual drive and appetite are not effected. Not eating or fucking is a sign that he's extremely distracted. My girlfriend calls it work mode.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I agree with UKan, my wife tells me that when I want something I barely register other problems, they just fall to the way side.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I was wondering how you deal with anger as a sociopath. Does it ever make you ill? My ex was starting to have heart problems, high blood pressure and he would smoke pot to keep himself calm. I thought he had these health issues because he was angry and he had no way to vent these feelings. He told me that no one knew how much he holds things back and I knew he struggled with self control.


    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  49. All this talk about race, but what about the gingers?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Grace, my (somewhat estranged)socio has had bad headaches , pretty much daily, for years.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Yes. I smoke weed to calm it as well. I don't get ill from it, but I'm sure it doesn't help. I get angry when someone is in my way, or when things don't go my way. I smoke weed and it brings me back down to where I can solve the issue.
    If I get angry I get crazy. I get extremely verbally abusive, and I know where to hit. I have said permenantly damaging things to people in anger. The worse part is I hit them where they are extremely insecure. My girlfriend has to endure this occasionally, though I've gotten better. With my friends and associates I get physically abusive as well, but that comes with what we do.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I never heard of that word before. I had to google it..lol. My son has red hair. He's very athletic, thank God, and he has a strong personality. No one will mess with him..he's just seven but I can see he will be fine.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  53. One time we were pushing each other around and play fighting and he put his hand around my neck and squeezed. He looked at me straight in the eyes has he was doing this. He stopped after just a second but I could tell he was capable of hurting me. It was a scary moment for me. I would have had to retaliate and that might not have been good for him..lol.

    That's what I mean about self control. He had to control his impulses.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  54. Sorry to keep posting...

    So that angry energy has to go somewhere if it's not expressed, physically or verbally. I think that's why he was getting sick.

    Glad I'm no longer a part of that problem.

    UK..do yoga instead of slapping your peeps around. It might be better for you:)

    But I'm sure it doesn't work that way.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  55. "UK..do yoga instead of slapping your peeps around"

    That made me grin :D

    ReplyDelete
  56. I find it surprising that so many of you have anger issues. I get really frustrated or aggravated at times, but I really don't get angry. I do like to destroy people professionally, socially, and if I could get away with it, physically, but it isn't out of anger. It is more about my amusement and the little rushes I get with the power involved. Passionate emotions like real anger or hatred are somewhat out of my emotional scope.

    ReplyDelete
  57. "Love and Hate are intimately linked within the human brain."

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/scientists-prove-it-really-is-a-thin-line-between-love-and-hate-976901.html

    ReplyDelete
  58. Aerianne, Thanks for the article.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Pythias, you're welcome. I commented that it was interesting to hear socios talking about intense hatred. Hate is a passionate emotion, just as love is.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I've been struggling with anger issues for a while now. I keep i in check through constant distraction but when it unleashes it is not a pretty sight. I dont get phyisical or violent just a blind rage where i can say the meanest things. My wife suffers the most from this. She puts up with me smoken herb cause she knows it keeps me calm and mellow. Im constantly checking myself though to keep everything going. She gives me purpose and a sense of well being. I hate the fact that I only tell her what she wants to hear, but in reality she helps give me an identity. My biggest fear is that she'll start to think im an emotionless monster if i tell the truth about the way i see the world. So i continue to put on the identity of myself that i want the world to see. I think its kinda fun deciding the image we project to people, it's a pretty sweet form of control.

    ReplyDelete
  61. in reality she helps give me an identity.

    I've always found that tethering myself to someone helped me craft a more long-term and solid persona.

    ReplyDelete
  62. @Pythias: I'd agree, though I usually attach myself to groups (or create one where none exists). A group provides more data for constructing a mask, and the nature of the group is self-reinforcing. Holes in the performance, in my experience, are paradoxically less noticeable the more people are looking at you. They tend to explain it away amongst themselves. They want to see good, so they fill in the fuzzy bits.

    ReplyDelete
  63. @ PS
    I couldn't agree more. Socially, I've almost always maintained a multi-group environment for the sake of being able to lay low in one if I've been too obvious in or playful with another. Within the group, I tend to mimic different aspects of the distinct individuals, creating an "our group" collage in myself. It seems to work out well enough. As far as a relationship goes, though, I find that forming my personality to fit a more constant personality (like that of my empath husband)usually sets up a stable character that I end up using as a jumping off point for the rest of the characters I regularly play.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I guess it depends once again on your definition of anger, I don't get angry But I can act angry. I do get frustrated and cross that I may have slipped somewhere within my life. Imo, anger can just be screaming and a red face if you play it right.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I don't need a act. When I'm angry it consumes me and the person I'm angry at is the enemy. I cut them down until I feel better.
    When someone cheats me or disrespects me I get violently angry. I feel if I don't make an example then I'm bowing down to them and I'm not one to kneel.
    Meglo my girl makes sure I keep a lot of weed around. Especially on days I work, because people are always fucking up and making me mad.
    I'm not unaware of myself. I feel entitled to peoples submission. People give me leadership so easily that I can't help but feel entitled (which I'm sure is an excuse but it works for me). I expect a lot from people and I'm very critical. When people fail me I don't spare their feelings, and I get frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by fools.

    ReplyDelete
  66. I also find it surprising that so many of you have anger issues. Of course I feel anger like the rest of you and can even act violently but it's almost as though I make a conscious decision to become angry. For me anger for the most part is just another fake and empty emotional display although there have been times where I have genuinely felt it and even flown into rages.

    ReplyDelete
  67. I find it strange that you said: You are surprised at peoples anger (in a sociopath forum?!), that you consciously choose to feel anger at will, that its empty and fake when you decide to impliment it, and then you genuinely have felt angry and gone into rages......all in one paragraph.

    ReplyDelete
  68. UKan. I'm not surprised at the anger that others feel I'm surprised at their inability to control it. As for the rest of my post, I know that it's somewhat contradictory but it's very difficult for me to explain how I feel. What meant is that when I'm with other people I display anger at certain issues or events in unity with them in order to appear the same. I shouldn't have said that I make a conscious decision to become genuinely angry, what I meant is that I'm very aware of when I'm becoming angry but I can usually control it if I wish to, but on the odd occasion I do fly completly off the handle. I don't know if that makes any more sense.

    ReplyDelete
  69. If you're feeling rage out of social obligation how do you end up flying completely off the handle? If you fly completely off the handle, how are you surprised that other people can't control their rage?

    ReplyDelete
  70. I don't feel genuine anger out of social obligation, thats when it's a fake and empty emotional display. I'm surprised that others have trouble controlling there rage because I am usually very good at doing so, l rarely fly off the handle.

    ReplyDelete
  71. It must be boring to be you.
    Rage is pure. Rage is powerful. Rage is seductive. Rage is to let go.

    ReplyDelete
  72. You're such a bad influence, UKan.

    ReplyDelete
  73. I don't see rage like that at all, it just seems childish to me, it's form of submitting control, and one explosion of violence or hateful rant directed towards the wrong person or in a public place could wreck the entire image that I've built for myself.

    ReplyDelete
  74. UKan, is it only people who you feel are beneath you that you lash out at? What about people you consider peers, or people that you might admire or respect?

    ReplyDelete
  75. Ukan i have that exact same prople. I can not stand incompitence and when im dealing with an incompetent or lazy clerk at a store i begin to feel this blinding rage begin to take over me. My wife can always notice it when it begins. She describes it as a scene out of kill bill where everything shades to red and an alarm starts to go off. Once it takes over i begin to verablly lash out at the person and it is not a pretty sight. I try to kep it in check cause its embarrising the everybody looks at you when you've put someone in there place. It's a double edge sword though, my wife loves that i wont take shit from no one and will stand up for our rights at a moments notice. But when i direct that power at the wrong person in the wrong social situation it can shatter everything. Thank goodness i only let it go on people that acctual deserved to be riped a new one. Only when its justified like when this one clerk was being really rude with me. The last time i was there i saw her being rude to an ederaly woman so i was able to justify the need to report her to management and make her relize her mistake. Just like dexter only those that deserve it acttualy get to see my anger or "the real me" where i dont filter what i say.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Blinding rage, really? When faced with an incompetent person all I experience is a dull feeling of disgust accompanied by a hightend sense of my own superiority. I don't verbally lash out at them I just put them down very subtly targeting their obvious weaknesses.

    ReplyDelete
  77. This may provide a little contrast. I don't go off on strangers. I pretty much expect a lot of strangers will just be incompetent or rude or whatever. That just rolls off me. The people I might go off on are people who are close to me; then it's only if they have done something to hurt, offend or affront me.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Basic, I dont know what to call it. But I think its a character flaw im working on. You know how we perfect a craft. It sometimes take making a mistake. I'm going through a bit of a transition so that i can live by a code, so as not to make a public display like that. It happens we all fuck up sometimes but the best part is i can let go of my mistakes and try to avoid them again.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Basically human you already said you fly off the handle. Stop the cyborg routine. I don't buy it. At all. Especiially since you contradict yourself.
    Does not compute....I am completely logical....(robot voice)
    I suppose you are the quiet sociopath that keeps to himself right? You dress in all black, you never smile, and youre a loner. You never show any emotion, and your cold as ice. I'm afraid that's not sociopathy, that's called being a fucking wierdo. Now go sacrafice a cat.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Basic Human,

    I don't know if you're a sociopath or not. But you do contradict yourself. Maybe you're just conflicted about how you "should" feel about things/people in your life. Maybe you have some impulse control issues and you lose it sometimes. Or maybe you're sensitive at times. Sociopaths are consistent in the way they feel or don't feel. There's no wishy washy feelings going with UK..right? He's pretty clear. I don't know for sure if UK is a male...I think so.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  81. I would never dream of dressing in all black UKan, i have brilliant dress sense and I'm certainley not a loner or a cyborg. Do you have a fucking broblem with me because i'm british?

    ReplyDelete
  82. UKan B ImperialistOctober 8, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    Oh, I didn't know you were british. Yes now I do have a problem with you.

    ReplyDelete
  83. lol oh no. My mother wouldn't like you either Basic. Oh dear.

    Grace

    ReplyDelete
  84. This man above me is a genius.

    Regretfully, I do not own a penis. :'(

    ReplyDelete
  85. Then let's just pretend I used it in the general sense referring to humans. I assume you're one of those, at very least.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Police remind me of guard dogs who've forgotten who their masters are. The police exist to serve me, but their egos and emotions get in the way of that. When I say jump, a cop should ask how high, not question me about what I'm doing out so late or why I'm in a particular neighborhood. The fact that telling them to fuck off when I haven't broken any laws could get me in serious trouble serves to show just how terrible the institution really is.

    On a side note, I like the police, and I've had some pretty good conversations with them. It's a little frightening how unthinking many of them are--completely incapable of realizing that killing a cop-killer is no different from the act of killing a cop who was trying to rob you of your freedom. The belief that they're on the "good" side, that all who oppose them are "bad," etc, is very disturbing, especially when it manifests into a "cops = the law" mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  87. UKan sounds more bipolar than like a socio.

    ReplyDelete
  88. @megalomaniac Being trapped in an identity is weakness. It's vulnerability. It will ultimately be exploited by predators. You don't need a permanent identity. your identity is supposed to change as your environment changes.

    Some of us are just chameleons. It's an identity to be a chameleon I guess, the identity of not having a permanent self.My concept of self and who I am is influenced by the environment I'm in. In the right environment I could be a caring individual, in the wrong environment I can be ruthless.

    ReplyDelete
  89. That's exactly it, Savagelight. Externally, I am vague and ill-defined. I allow the minds of observers to fill in the details they find most pleasant. Internally, however, I am well-defined, my deeply ingrained traits fairly static. Everyday I push more pieces of myself to the flexible externality, reducing the static part to its most essential facets.

    ReplyDelete
  90. In the right environment I could be a caring individual, in the wrong environment I can be ruthless.

    Or "right" environment for ruthlessness; always a right/better way for ever circumstance.

    ReplyDelete
  91. When covering the area, it should be enough to use a
    regular bandage. Once your mole is dry, cut a piece of duct tape three times the size of the mole.
    Those with sensitive skin should not use it as it can irritate.



    Here is my weblog ... how to get rid of acne

    ReplyDelete
  92. What's up, I desire to subscribe for this website to get most up-to-date updates, thus where can i do it please help.

    Feel free to visit my weblog; visit this hostgator site

    ReplyDelete
  93. Make sure it is a company with a proven and solid reputation and good history in the
    home monitoring industry

    My web-site car amplifier

    ReplyDelete
  94. By working with a travel agent or company, you can choose a great cruise that works for you and your travel
    companions

    Look into my weblog; visit website

    ReplyDelete
  95. Daima güncel
    Hd Film izle , Full HD film izle ,
    Tek Part Film izle , Türkçe Dublaj Film izle ,
    Belgesel izle , 3d film izle ve benzeri katagorilerde
    film izleyebileceğiniz en iyi adrestesiniz.En iyi yerli filmlerin hd kalitede bulabileceğiniz ve türkçe dublaj film izleyerek keyifli zaman geçirebileceğiniz bir film sitesi üzerinde çalıştığımızı ve sizler için en iyi aksiyon filmleri izleyebileceğiniz güzel bir site yapmaya çalıştığımızı belirtmek isterim. Kaliteli animasyon filmleri izleyebileceğiniz ve en önemlisi tek part film izleyebileceğiniz bir sistem kurmanın gururunu yaşadığımızın bilincindeyiz. Keyifli zamanlar geçirmeniz dileğiyle.

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.