Saturday, July 6, 2013

Am I... ?

From a reader:

First of all great blog. I really like that you don't talk about sociopathy, but through it. I find it similar to reading for example Nietzsche - nothing new, but if I find it HERE people must see it differently, it's funny how blind they are.

Moving to main part of this email I feel, that I will screw English terribly ;) If you want to publish it feel free to fix anything that sounds really bad.

I'd like to ask, what would you consider me to be. I tried tests – I always score full points on “lack of feelings and machiavelism” scale while having average score on aggression. On PCL-R I get about 17.
Where to start...
Maybe with what I'm not. I don't like killing animals and never did. Ants, some frogs etc, but not mammals. I don't commit crimes on daily basis and I'm not impulsive. I cheat in any way available and I find it enjoyable, but I didn't steal for fun or anything like it. When I had to fight few times in my life I just turned off anything but anger, so I could aim for eyes and veins, but I it was always a choice and I could stop at any point. I also wouldn’t say I’m fearless, I know that emotion pretty well. That will be it about being normal.

I’m narcissist, but I work on it. It’s like drug and I don’t like anything to control me. I guess you know that nice feeling, when people say how they think, that they know you really well, when they only know mask – or even better feeling, when they tell you, how they can see through your mask and describe another mask as “real you” ;) But the drug part is the only thing that I fight with. I feel better, I don’t think about “difficulty level” when I choose goals and so on.
I play with people. I see them like they were sets of algorithms. I read “Influence” by Cialdini when I was 8-10 year old and I never stopped learning psychology from that point (I’m 21 now). I always could easily imagine how to break someone or how to help him evolve and I find both ways enjoyable – what I care about is how good am I with it. And I am pretty good ;).
I don’t think there is any “real me” behind all that games.
I never felt remorse. I also didn’t feel love, attachment or friendship and I don’t think I fully believe these are real things like people describe them. I know it on cognitive level, that they exist but I just feel like it was some fake. I know happiness, anger, some lust, sorrow(and I think it’s nice),fear/anxiety and flow. Actually, I heard few times that people find it hard to imagine me in any other mood then happy.
I’m also pretty smart. I like math, physics or philosophy and can understand them as well as I can remember lots of biological stuff. At the moment I study three full courses and it’s just fine. I even prefer when I have more to do and I find time pressure fun.

Opinions?

P.S.
There is a book “Psychopaths among us” by Hare. Nothing spectacular, but read part about successful sociopaths. There is also “Time Paradox” by Zimbardo. Basing on what you wrote about your analogy-based world perception I think you will find connecting those ideas enjoyable 

22 comments:

  1. While I was searching on the net I came across your website and I found most interesting to read. The language used in the articles is easily understood. I will continue to make use of this site in my future also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh a newbie
      can i fuck him/her?
      or is ME 1st

      Delete
    2. Oh look! Internet Marketing!

      Delete
    3. Sure Anon 5:08.

      Feel free to spam all over his folder.

      Delete
  2. Don't take your defination of yourself from what others call you.
    The word is never the percise description of the thing. It's just an
    inexact, societal-agreed-upon label that people use.
    For example the word "tree" is NOT what that object is. It's an agreed upon
    description of the object. You have to learn to see something without the
    baggage and imposition of words.
    Don't be so conserned with cataglorising. What you truly are can't be
    described with words. You are an evolving life force contained in a changing
    human body. Nothing is set in stone. When bedeviled by negative feelings
    be they angar, hatred, hostility, sadness, self pity remember that these
    are only PASSING states of mind like the clouds blown by the wind.
    Here's what you do:
    1) Come to the internal consesis that ALL negativity is worng. Contary
    to popular belief, your upset is NOT over what's "out there" but your
    accquired reaction to the provacation. "How dare you insult my religion!"
    2) When negativity DOES araise make no effert to fight or repress the
    feeling but be aware of the feeling. Just look at it impartially. Neither
    add or subtract from it. If you feel sadness don't repress crying BUT
    if you REALLY know deep inside that tears are wasted water the sad state
    will depart fairly quickly. You must bear in mind that nothing "out there" has any power at all to upset you. IT'S YOU'RE REACTION to the
    offensive event.
    There is one cavet however. People have an instincual fear of death.
    If a person has reason to believe that their life is an immenate danger
    the adrenalin will race and they will become upset. You have to learn
    to differenciate between an authentic threat and an imaginary one.
    There was a song many years ago called "Killing Me Softly With His Song."
    It was about a woman who went to a nightclub who was embarassed by being
    singled out. She felt all the physicalogical symtpoms of immeanant death.
    Being shamed is not the same thing as being killed, so unless you watch
    your reaction you won't know the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If we're considering this person sociopath-like, then it might be better to consider sociopathy not as a spectrum, but more as a grab bag. Different people have discrete chunks of personality attributes, and they seem to be able to pick and choose what's in their bag of tricks depending on their situation, cultural expectations, or personal aptitudes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear M.E.,
    I just finished reading a book that I think you should be aware of.
    It's called "DR. FEELGOOD," by Richard A. Lertzman and William J. Birnes.
    It's about a quack sociopathic doctor who invented a meth drug cocktale
    he used to inject some of the most important people of our time to turn
    them into addle brained addicts. You won't believe the who's who of who
    this man influenced and how high a sociopaths influence can reach.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tommy Lynn SellsJuly 6, 2013 at 4:37 PM

    8 responses ?

    what the fuck has happened to the sociopathic blog slow death seems a sad way to end it in my opinion

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tommy Lynn SellsJuly 6, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    m.e u think getting the few charity and or mental cases do all the posting in ur blog is going to raise the standards ?

    its gonna be dead in a month

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Way to raise the standard, champ.

      Delete
  7. Michael Martin PlunkettJuly 6, 2013 at 4:49 PM

    my account was banned and i was told never to come back because i dont meet the sociopath blog standards

    how fucked up is that ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Michael Martin PlunkettJuly 6, 2013 at 5:46 PM

    in answer to the original question and 99 % of every guy who writes in this site

    check out this site :

    http://uk.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_300/384_5-signs-you-are-an-omega-male.html

    many answers to ur angst is found right there

    ReplyDelete
  9. Michael Martin PlunkettJuly 6, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    there is great wisdom in the end if u get that far :

    "Being a man means engaging with the world as it really is."

    but by all means escape into the fantasy world where ur hannibal lecter and dexter morgan if thats what prevents u from killing ur self

    every 1 needs a little fantasy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did it work for you?

      Delete
  10. Great blog and particularly liked this post because I, too, am confused as to exactly where my character fits

    Friends would describe me as outgoing, kind and very generous yet I know that I am selfish beyond words and am often carry out tiny acts of cruelty for my own amusement. However, I could never phyically hurt anything - human or creature. I have never struck a blow in anger

    I am highly regarded in a profession where honesty and integrity is essential, yet I lie, cheat and steal without compunction

    I have been married many years and am regarded as a devoted husband and father, but have led a recklessly libertine lifestyle and have seduced countless women and many men into having sex with me

    Am I capable of love? I certainly have feelings for people but only in so far as it suits me to have them. I remember well being extremely angry when ,y sister was involved in a serious accident and I was called to her bedside because it was thought highly unlinkey she would survive. My anger arose because I had spent the day preparing for the seduction of a young girl that evening and my plans were ruined by the accident

    I have never suffered grief at the bereavement of any family member whatsoever, and this is something I have had to feign on numerous occasions

    So ... sociopath or psychopath?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just sound confused to me. Maybe a Narcissist

      Delete
    2. You would know that, wouldn't you sevvack khan? You're also a narcissist.

      Delete
  11. All those posters who ask "who am I" questions -you'll figure it out yourself if you keep asking yourself, and the journey can be fun.
    My only advice would be to never take a decision based on assuming you'll change.

    ReplyDelete
  12. After closely reading this post and considering it I can certainly say that you are. You are stupid, average and illiterate. Next email plz...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sometimes I come on this website to see what it's like after the book got published. Always the same, a bunch of moronic new people and absolutely no intelligent discussion. What a shame.
    And so the blog slowly dies.

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.