Sunday, August 7, 2011


A reader asks:
I've been reading your blog with considerable interest for the past few months. I'm an empath, but I have a strong interest in understanding the sociopath purely because I find the idea of them interesting, so I've read most of the texts I could find. What I would be interested to grasp is the sociopaths response to discipline. Much of what I've read suggests sociopaths typically would avoid pursuits which require impulse control/dedication etc. such as a diet, goal setting, pursuing a degree or working hard generally. It would be great if you can provide some idea of how a sociopathic individual perceives discipline, and delayed gratification. I find it hard to reconcile the idea that sociopaths will do anything to get what they want, with the idea that they are very poor at controlling impulses and dealing with delaying gratification. I ask this question as I'm fairly sure I've encountered a few sociopathic individuals in work settings that have been extremely hard working, disciplined and dedicated to the task.
My response:

Good question. I think your intuition is right, that some sociopaths are clearly able to discipline themselves enough to accomplish longterm goals. I myself always brag about having fully funded my retirement by the time I was 30. I didn't do it as a feat of self control, though, I did it because I love making money and my employment and community has various benefits to incentivize retirement savings that would be silly to not take advantage. The pleasure in retirement savings for me then is to play the game so much better than everyone else is -- and so seemingly effortlessly! In fact that's my main interest/love about money: that so many people want it but can't figure out how to get/keep more of it. It makes any wealth making you do look almost like magic -- very powerful image to project!

So maybe then the real distinction is not that sociopaths are more weak-willed than empaths or vice versa, but that they're both weak-willed in their own unique and predictable ways. Empath weaknesses appear egregious to sociopaths because they seem so obvious and easy to avoid, whereas sociopath weaknesses seem abhorrent to empaths because they find it so shocking that anyone would even consider behaving in that way. It makes perfect sense then that empaths would look weak to sociopaths and sociopaths look like monsters to empaths.


  1. You look like monsters due to evil behaviour not because of goal setting and consequence considering inadequacies.

  2. So whats the secret?

  3. My impulsive nature is a double edged sword. I stopped doing violent things impulsively to people about five or six years ago. At least I realized it, maybe I didn't quit all the way. It took me a while to be purposeful about what I do, because I just like to fly by the seat of my pants. Once I learned how to properly use my anger it became a gift. By now people don't bring me to the point where I'm out of character because of how impulsively violent I was before.
    That was my main issue as far as impulses are concerned. I'm very vindictive. I can't let it go at even, I have to be ahead.
    Impulsive behaviour also got me here. Because I don't give a shit, I will say anything with whole hearted passion till you are caught in my charisma. The next day I will completly be on the other side.
    Money is easy once you have a goal. I don't think of money. I think of what I want to get and I always get what I want. Some people here think my wife gets beaten and treated badly. In actuality I don't beat her and this month is dedicated to buying the furniture she has her mind set on.
    I made and lost a small fortune before but nothing compared to now. As I get older I have actually started contemplating consequences for my actions, because I have acquired too much to lose. Its made me take measures to start planning on heading towards a more legitimate business.
    I'm no shining example of the law abiding sociopath contributing to society, but I've come a long way. I really am the last man standing. All my friends failed and went to the 9 to fiver, got buried, or got locked up for life.

  4. I have achieved quite a bit in life but I had one piece missing.I was emotionally stupid.
    That is a big freakin piece . It will take down the rest of the pieces,too.
    If you are emotionally stupid you will tear down what you built by your own hands unwillingly and unknowingly .
    By the time you figure it out your life lies before you in a heap of rubbish.
    That is why I am here.Sociopaths are emotionally smart.
    This place is what real life is but hides .
    This place has the group dynamics of a ladies church meeting .
    However, This place has it out in the open.

    I got emotionally stupid cuz I had to believe lies for survival.There are defense mechanisms which kick in when your heart has been broken.
    It really was not "weak" per se as you guys like to say.
    It was survival.

    At any rate SW HAS the pulse of life in it.
    I have already learned two laws.
    One is "If someone shows you who they are,believe them"
    The second is "Once someone messes with you cast him off."

    The third is mine just cuz I am like this.Give someone the benefit of the doubt first.
    Don't cut yourself off from everyone. You can always cast them off if they violate you.There are good people out there ,too,people that are worth being vulnerable with and taking a chance on.

    For the record I just cut my parents off.I will not talk to them.I don't need their money.
    They are dead to me.
    They betrayed me so badly.I want them to die alone .I want them to be rejected like they did to me when I needed them . They turned their back on me and sided with my abusive husband who molested his own son and his son/my son committed suicide.
    Thank you SW <3

  5. "Some people here think my wife gets beaten and treated badly. In actuality I don't beat her"

    why not?

  6. Erin, in a completely rational world (where emotions are not allowed to play against your interests) money rules. In that world people don't leave the money on the table and walk away. Learning to manage the finances within the family and not letting go of your inheritance so easily is a thought you should consider.

    I was given that advice some years ago and I did not take it then, clearly suffering from what you call emotional stupidity in the name of pursuing idealistic expectations from life and family.

    I have no regrets that I didn't do it then, but after five years of toughening up I went back and was able to reclaim with the interest.

    I still keep my idealistic core and expectations but won't let the people who fail those expectations take away from the fun in life, will laugh with them, while getting my cut smooth sailing.

    Listening to you strengthen every day, it started to look a lot like you will too.

    You will learn from the masters here how to mask and manipulate, and borrow ideas for making masks that are natural to socios.



  9. @Sceli
    Thank you Baby <3

    My emotions feel at peace to cut them off but it is so hard cuz I have a lot of loyalty to them for things they did like send me through school, take physical care of me and ALSO they did the best they could.
    I know that intellectually but I want to slit their throats.
    I am so angry. I am filled with rage.My son's death took it to the next horrible level of pure rage against the people who would not help me climb out but kept pushing me down.

    It is really ,really hard to have to figure out what to do with them
    I do not need their money.That is not that important in the equation.

    My sanity and how to claim it is the key thing here.
    Not sure what step is the best one for that.

    Thanks for your input Sceli !
    SW is more than guys fighting about who is each others bitch.


  11. Beautifully said Sceil.

    Erin, she is right. It's how you play your resources and your enjoyment in life keeps you strong.

    Discipline is a game especially when the payoff is more strength, prestige or power. Committing to becoming stronger benefits all and makes for a more efficient work and home environment. It is simple math.

  12. @Anon
    Are you trying to hint something with these PD's links


  14. I am afraid someone will knife me if I have boundaries.
    I am afraid someone will hurt me if I say "NO, this is me.You can't slice me any more"
    I have a deathly fear of this like a visceral fear of setting myself apart FOR myself.

  15. erin, your abusive husband that molested your son which as you say led to his suicide... this was the sociopath?


  17. @Aspie
    No he is a Narc
    I want to slit his throat too
    I never really felt my rage until I started Vulva slinging on here

  18. How interesting that Erin was molested by her mother, and her son was molested by his dad.
    What are the statistical probabilities here?

  19. "It makes perfect sense then that empaths would look weak to sociopaths and sociopaths look like monsters to empaths."

    There needs to be a hybrid. Perhaps there rests the next evolution of our species. Or perhaps the hybrid of these combined traits make for a balanced and ballsy individual. M.E. get to work on a Boot Camp!

  20. @Anon
    Usually these things happen in families so the probabilities would be high.Are you trying to be annoying?

  21. Why did you stay with this man if he was abusing you and your son Erin?

  22. It was a legitimate question. It doesn't seem common for a girl to be molested by her mother, but then for that girl to end up with a man who molests his own son (same sex molestation repeated). That just seems extremely rare to me.

  23. @aspie
    My son told me FIVE years later.It only happened once .When my son told me, I confronted my husband.I got the whole family together.I didn't know what to do.
    Should I report my husband? I got it out in the open and told my son I would do ANYTHING he wanted.
    He didn't know what to do either. Should I send him to jail. He provided for everyone.My son was going to college.
    What was the right thing to do?
    Why did I stay when I was abused myself?

  24. Anon@ Nature loves patterns. We are her toys. As much as we mold ourselves we are held by our genetics and culture. Its all one big Shakespearean reality show.

  25. @Soulful
    I really RESENT when you try to act as if you are co signing Sceli's wise comments with some of your own when time and time again you put me down with Eden.
    I don't care about her. She is an idiot and a rube as far as I am concerned but you laugh and joke with her about me .
    That makes me want to knock your head off when you try to give me "legitimate" advice
    That violates SW rule number one. WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM.
    I don't want your advice or your faux erudite BS couched in inane poetry.
    Give it to someone who is too stupid to know it is worthless BS from a card board cut out.
    Thank you!

  26. I wasn't aware that SW has rules

  27. @Anon
    I made MY rules for myself from what I have learned here.

  28. Erin, you are perfect for the Jerry Springer show. I am just a projection of you care not to see.

  29. Then you should call them "Erin Rules", and stop acting like the rest of us have to abide by them.
    Soulfulpath should be able to interact in what ever way she pleases, same as you. There are no rules of engagement on SW. It's a site designed for people who don't follow social norms, you fucking retard.

    That is what I said.
    Can you READ?

  31. @Soulful
    You are a cardboard cutout of fake erudition . Tell your BS to someone else.
    I don't want it or value it so you know in the future :)

  32. Its not even a rule, folks, its just an axiom.

    There's nothing in it to violate.

    The point is that Erin cannot take Soulful seriously because she is 2-faced, in her opinion. Yes?

  33. Erin, I could not ask about your son because it was far too sad. I'm trying to focus on practicalities and avoiding emotions as best I can, because they truly weaken my spirit.

    But, now that you shared how you gathered the family I see strength and can ask. First of all, what you did was very courageous, surprisingly courageous. What your son did was also very courageous. There is indeed that 5 year magic going on for victims to be able to talk about something very painful to them.

    Now, I am full of questions, but knowing you are on SW feel free to answer only what will not weaken you.

    1. What did your husband say when you confronted him?
    2. Like your son told you, did you tell your dad what happened? How old were you (trying to see how much later than the harassment actually) when you could tell anyone in the family? Did the family have a group meeting like you did with your husband and son?

    Eden played that game with you to prove that it is easy to mask. She could not wait to come out about it. Sometimes seeing a weak woman angers me to a point that I lash out, too. You would too, believe me. That lash out is not necessarily at you but at the sadness of weakness that is shared, Socios won't be like that. They will never drop the mask, they will laugh at any weakness (and not recognize their own, lol).

    Soulful has found a peaceful corner for herself, and she has a lot to teach. Like when she called the socios gladiators. That's the coolest, because it would charm a socio to be called that. First point is to not let a socio hurt, then to fight a socio, but the ultimate is to charm all his cells without falling for any of his tricks.

    The point is there is indeed something to learn from every bird something to be gained from neighborhood socios.

    Oh, I still can't remember which Jack London book had that bird reference to women.

  34. @Medusa

  35. No you said: "That violates SW rule number one"

    Can YOU read?

  36. @Sceli
    I will answer in time.Right now I can't
    This is the thing with Soulful.DON"T PUT ME DOWN AND THEN EXPECT TO SPEAK IN TO MY LIFE.
    You lost that chance when you put me down.
    Whoever she is or is not is not my concern.I just do not want or value her feedback.
    If she stays away from me I will have no further words for her.

  37. @Anon
    MY Rule--OK since you are so freakin literal

  38. @Anon
    Everyone KNOWS SW has no rules Duh

    I know weak woman set people off. I am all about being real so if I am weak I will show it.
    What am I gonna do come on as a phoney strong person?
    When I am truly strong THAT will be the real gift for me.
    So,I came on weak cuz I was.Now I am a little stronger so it was good I was real but I do get what you are saying about people wanting to attack weakness.Socio's would do it the most too.
    You are right about that

  39. You don't seem to know that. That SW has no rules. You expect people to treat you according to the regular rules of the outside world, here.

    And FYI... Everyone puts you down here in their own way. Some just make it easier for a retard like you, to see. :)

  40. Erin is acting out here what she cannot or does not yet know how to do in real life. Dipping toes in the pond of self-worth. Fake it 'til you make it. Lash out at strangers who are merely stand-ins.

    Finesse may come with time.

    But she's probably the most open and honest person here.

    Makes me wonder who else amongst us is willing to admit that they are just acting out. That they are just playing the 'phoney strong person' mask here.

  41. I have a flashback about Medusa's scream on that day when she said let's talk about me and wanted to fuss about the guy she broke up with. This will sound crazy but I was so impressed by that.

    I was never able to do that. Being a good girl in my home meant that I did not complain about anything. In learning that, I actually became the biggest internal customer service department with full of complaints about others. Instead of complaining how they hurt me I go for execution in the form of I am above you, not hurt by you. This is ok for as long as I don't give a damn, but I am not 100% at that I don't give a damn yet. That is where I really want to be, and want to have fun while doing that.

    The only problem is this is a disconnecting type strategy, I seem to close the door to intimacy more and more. Like the things UKan says about his wife, some negative and some positive. I would never put up with those positives. What is his motivation really? That he wants babies? Or, he actually can't sleep well alone? The chances are they sleep in different rooms, they will after the first born if not yet. So, the question is why choose this intimacy? What is the true driver there? Need for codependency? Fear of aging alone?

  42. You expect people to treat you according to the regular rules of the outside world, here.

    "You teach people how to treat you." — Dr. Phil

  43. @Medusa
    Thank you
    I have been dead. Coming alive after being dead is not pretty

  44. @Medusa
    Dr Phil is 100% right

  45. :) Looks like I was answering you while you were asking the question, Medusa.

  46. @Sceli
    Was it Medusa's scream or mine you meant?
    You are seeing WHY you lash out at weak people.
    A person who has their own strength does not.
    I applaud your honesty.

  47. Just read my note, meant negatives not positives in the last paragraph when I said
    'I would never put up with those positives.'

    Funny what mind does when one pours without editing. I guess subconsciously I was also stating those pros are not sufficient to accept the cons..

  48. It was Medusa's. About her ex.

  49. Women are so fucked up. One minute you are enemies, and the next you're all kissing and hugging. What a bunch of flakes!

  50. Here is where I am coming from .I live in a beautiful house .I could be on my dock .
    Why am I here prostrating myself at SW?
    I don't want to die mental.

  51. "The point is that Erin cannot take Soulful seriously because she is 2-faced, in her opinion. Yes?"

    I don't see that about Soulful. I think she is the most objective person here. I've never seen her lash out at anyone. She is honest in her own graceful way, but doesn't take sides. I think she is playful in her observations, but that's not the same as putting someone down.

  52. Anon 8:28, I'm terrible at holding grudges.

  53. :) You are on a lake too? Are you UKan's wife, Erin? Just kidding...

    I'll ask more questions. The way a male socio seems to choose a woman is similar to a president choose a vice-president.

    How would a financially secure female socio choose? I want to define the man I am willing to let really close, and am surely having a very hard time defining the son of a gun.

    Not to suggest any titles at the lady but the only attractive marriage I can think of is what Demi Moore got. A similarly good looking younger man, in love, without much difference in income.

  54. @Frank
    To me, she puts me down. It does not matter if YOU can see that or not. You can only make your own choices with your OWN perception not mine

  55. @Frank
    If someone told you you should be on Jerry Springer would that be a compliment?
    To me it is an insult .If you would not view it that way that is you.
    This is only one of MANY anyway.
    The larger point is it is my perception that matters not yours.

  56. "I think she is the most objective person here."

    Objective: expressing or dealing with facts or conditions as perceived without distortion by personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations.

    That sounds fair. I don't think women play fair. They want to be right. And logic what's that? They just base what they believe on what makes them feel good or bad.

  57. I think Frank can see it that way because he's a man, and has the ability to see things objectively. You are a woman, and are irrational by nature.

  58. @Anon
    It is more this.When someone puts YOU down you see it
    When someone puts someone else down you excuse it or don't even see it.

  59. Is this the same Erin who thought socios are so funny? I don't see you laughing much these days. Typical of a woman. They can never make up their minds.

  60. :) do I see someone who is trying to challenge 'women'? Throwing assumptions and generalizations? Buddy, does not seem to be working, does it?

    Wanna learn something about women, just ask.

    It does not look exactly like we are in a cat fight like the evening hour cock fight at SW, does it? No, we enjoy bitching sessions, but don't really think SW is the place for them. This is where we get socio ready, or socio-entertained.

  61. @Anon
    Socios are still funny "Yes"

  62. I envisioned you as a male Sceli. Are you an S?

  63. I enjoy watching you women. It's so easy for you to turn on each other. All you have to do, is be honest about how irritating you are, and the woman becomes your enemy. The same is true for winning you back. All you have to do is appeal to her vanity, and she is your friend once more.

  64. oh, no, Aspie. I am a woman, and not a socio, but I see internalizing some of the socio traits as the way to go. Pick and choose, more for defense than attack.

  65. @Anon
    I hope not. That is MY rule number one.If someone shows you who they are believe them.
    You can be pleasant but try not to be fooled.
    If you are you will have another chance to learn it all over again

  66. Anon 9:22. You are so right about the observation that women get very angry when a man is honest about his irritating sides. Must be years of listening to mothers who bitch about their husbands to their children.

    Appeal to vanity... That is just one tool, talk is cheap, it works better if you have tight buns or other tangible toys that matter to women.

  67. I was saying that all a woman needs to do, is tell another woman how irritating she is. I wasn't talking about how women deal with men.

    Stay focused. I know it's not easy for you to see logic through your emotions.

  68. @Sceli

    which traits would you internalize?
    how would you use them as a defense?

  69. No you were not. Your note was gender free. I made a wrong assumption. Your note meant more sense that way to me, somehow, bad bias though. I will be reading more carefully.

  70. When another man tells me he thinks I'm fucking up I take what he's says at face value. I don't use my emotions to skew the truth, blame him, and say he only thinks that because he's the one fucking up. Men say what they really mean to each other. You women always think there's something to read between the lines.

  71. Hmmm, words are not pouring out when you asked the question, Aspie. But what I need the most is to focus on what is in MY best interest. Look at every move with that concern. I typically have this sense of what is the right thing to do be more important than me, my family, my country, my tribe. Given that a broader concern will always be in me I will never be able to make a decision harming others, but I want to put what I gain as the top priority from now on as opposed to minimizing regrets (mine or others).

  72. Sceli

    "I enjoy watching you women. It's so easy for you to turn on each other."

    That was the first thing I said. That statement was not "gender free", and was followed by the only part you read. Yes, please read more carefully, or read what the words are actually saying.

  73. :)

    "men mean what they say to each other"

    how about what they say to women? or to their clients? or, potential clients/victims?

    I love how honest you are.

  74. oh, goodness, you are right. I haven't yet solved my morning sudokus, and haven't had my coffee. sure shows, lol.

    but, i forgive myself, if ok with you.

  75. Men have learned they have to lie to women, because women can't stand the truth. They know that all a woman wants, is to be right, and hear what she wants. A man does not have to do that with another man. He knows he can tell the truth, and though this other man might get angry at first, the relationship will not change.

  76. yes, and the biggest problem with women today is that they have all the p...y.


    David solved this problem.

  77. For all my boys out there!

  78. ok Sceli, that's cool, but don't you think internalizing sociopathic traits as a way to put/help/keep oneself first is a little overkill? what part of lying, stealing, manipulating, destroying lives and somewhat hateful view of others would be useful toward that end?


  80. Aspie, are you afraid of signing your name? Why?

  81. Hi Notme. Do you mean logging in?

  82. Lying, manipulating... Those are leadership skills, they can be very useful in getting results that actually are good under universal standards. Say, someone is about to kill you and somehow you made great use of a lie.

  83. @Aspie
    I am trying to internalize Socio traits too.That is why I am here in part.
    Socios have a lot to teach.On some things they are much healthier than "normal" people--MUCH


  85. You know what I meant, but a smart come back, so carry on.

  86. aspie, clarification:

    you say
    "ok Sceli, that's cool, but don't you think internalizing sociopathic traits as a way to put/help/keep oneself first is a little overkill?'

    what I said meant putting the self first is the socio trait I was trying to internalize. I was not referring to the traits you listed (what part of lying, stealing, manipulating, destroying lives and somewhat hateful view of others would be useful toward that end?).

    But even on that list lying and manipulating are strengths, and only evil if harming a third party. I have no interest in harming anyone.

  87. Oh ok I think what you are implying is that I am one of the anonymous posters. Because of anti-woman stuff?

  88. Ladies, you may enjoy laughing at yourselves if you can get past your pride and vanity.

    Here's' one you might like. :)

  89. no, because of style of video posting. why, are you against women?

  90. Ok Sceli. Putting the self (they might say, what self?) first though is not really a socio trait. Sociopaths are almost always lying and manipulating. It is mostly all a game to them.

  91. What makes you think I'm against women?

  92. There are many Socio traits I do not want.I hate bullying.
    I think it means the bully is weak not strong.
    I will not bully.I will only defend.However,if someone is a male slut like David who bilked the old guy and left him destitute I may mess with him a little.
    I would not bully a weak person though.
    That flat out is low,imo.
    I have no respect for it.

  93. A lack of impulse control is simply the ability to find efficient shortcuts. I laugh when people go on about "hard work". 99% of the time legit hard-work is hardly necessary. There is always an easier way to do something, it may not be the most honorable way, but it's easier and way less tiring.

    The way I see it, impulse control=9-5 shift

    Lack of impulse control=managing who will work 9-5.

    I get people with impulse control to slave for me, putting in overtime, thinking that their sweat is going to advance them. I work at a leisurely pace, and still make more then they ever will.

    Did I mention I could easily fire them when they become useless?

  94. I've made comments that some have interpreted as misogynistic.

    I don't make anonymous posts.

  95. @Cosette
    You don't have to answer of course but is there anyone you love in your life?

  96. Aspie, I am aware of the negative traits, but I dance around corporate sociopaths, so it is important to learn some of their games.

    For example, cosette 10:22. You can't call him evil if he is the necessary catalyst to bring the group together, create job opportunity to 'nice' folks who just can't come up with their own idea of feeding themselves.

    His glib, lying, manipulating, all that worked for him to get there. It's better if a nonsocio can tool up and get there. The only way to get up there is to be able to compete with/beat the socios who are already settled in some of the positions. Same goes for government. There is need for more hybrids who can play well with socios.

  97. I'm not against women, I'm for them. Again: You are just seeing what you want through emotions. I was just saying what I find amusing about women, when dealing with each other. In my own opinion, I don't believe any of you are capable of being friends with each other. Some are the exception to the rule, only because they won't fake it. They just speak their minds and move on. Those women are the exception because they think more like men.
    I like women like that, but only as a fuck. I'd rather date a typical woman.

  98. I agree they have a lot to teach us, but, imo, only in the sense of understanding how they operate, how they think, their viewpoint etc. It's nothing I look up to, respect or actually want to internalize however.

  99. I think Cosette is a woman. Am I wrong?

  100. anon. Not only are you contradicting yourself but you also sound pretty dumb.

    It's not about seeing with emotion, it's about your logic not making any sense.

  101. I am female for anyone wondering.

  102. More on that.. Most men (well not many women around in this regard, so I will ignore) in good positions are narcissists, not really sociopaths. The corporation itself though is a sociopath (google and watch a documentary on that).

    Socio traits are very handy to beat the narcissists.

  103. sceli 10:42 is fake, I sign with capital letter first, and only rarely call people names

  104. Sceli

    I was able to see that Cosette was a women: See my post @ 10:41

    You thought she was a man. Who is able to see more clearly?

  105. Erin. being a pit bull isn't the only path to power. Perhaps I am two faced yet not as dramatically as you are. We all admire your ability to honestly throw yourself to the wolves. And we all see some progress. Personally I have other agents of change I rely on to expose
    my deepest intimacies to and bolster up my weaknesses. This forum is full of tricksters. I trust to be entertained and to be challenged here. Yet there will be a limitation for you if this is your only source of empowerment training.

  106. Here is my point. You women think you need to learn how to take on socio traits to do better for yourself. I think you could learn more from us regular men. Think with logic, and stick to your guns. None of this wishy washy crap you pull.

  107. The other thing is, sociopaths are naturally skilled at what they do. Since practically birth they have had practice within their brain construct. I think learning a few tricks thinking you are going to take them on is unrealistic. Sociopaths don't like taking on Sociopaths. Better to be able to recognize them, understand how they operate, and use your natural strengths and knowledge to avoid them or if necessary, to quietly thwart them imo.

  108. sorry, cosette, having gender confusion this morning... :)

    Aspie, I see that the word internalize came across as too strong. I don't mean 'looking up' by that. But, what is that saying 'to think like a deer you must become a deer,' or something like that.

    I find it necessary to strive to internalize because who I am and what I believe are very firmly defined (unlike that impressionableness, flexibility of a sociopath).

    I want putting me first to become the default, that I want to internalize (and that I want to mask, and keep appearing as how I used to be, thinking of others). It really did not work well for me or the others when I made decisions thinking for the others, putting me second. Having said that, the narcissists who were in my life would not believe that, because those indeed never saw me putting them ahead. But, with the mask now I am getting good at making them feel grandiose.

    Ideally now it will be my life, my choice, my game. in decision making behind the mask of how I used to be, making it appear win-win for all parties, particularly the narcissists. I'll pamper these guys, and laugh it off.

  109. Soulful, you are wonderfully passive. You really know how to put people on self-destruct.

  110. who is this anon, who wants to hear that s/he sees more clearly? so cute.. fine, no problem, I honestly am worried about getting myself clearer, not getting more clear than you. you are more clear, here I said it. I agree with a lot of what you said, by the way.

    is it clearer, or more clear? not sure.

  111. @Soulful

    There's the grace I was talking about. Some will never learn.

  112. @Soulful
    It is simple,If you want to diss me don't try to give me "wise" advice.
    Ok--what is SO hard to understand about that?
    It is two faced.

  113. someone is using my name here. I don't post much these days. That ain't me.

  114. @Frank
    YOU talking about grace and calling people whores.
    Am I missing something? *dumbfounded expression*

  115. aspie, thank you. I appreciate where you are coming from.

    I also wonder about being an aspie, but remember you don't like answering detailed questions.

  116. @notme

    that's SW for ya. Everyone is everyone else and everyone wants you to believe they are themselves. It's all a carnival! hehehe

  117. @Erin

    I don't think Frank lives here anymore. You might be knocking on the wrong door.

  118. @ukan

    ya the women take over

  119. @Frank different perhaps
    So are you not the Frank who calls people whores and then says "I love you"

  120. @Erin

    You believed that?

  121. Question for socios:

    How is it that you are immune to insults,shaming,praise, or criticism.

  122. @Soulful
    HOW am I two faced ?
    How would you use that word to describe what you have seen of me such as I saw you insult me and then try to give me "wise" advice

  123. @Frank
    This PARTICULAR Frank was calling me a whore.Then he apologized and said he loved me.
    Are you him?

  124. They are showing this Korean guy on CNN who makes chopsticks in the US and then sells to China, making a lot of money. Initially local banks laughed at him, but he managed to find $1 million dollar and a 100 people to get it going.

    And China makes a bridge for California by a Shanghai company (that never made a bridge before) and ships the bridge to the US.

    Chinese make bridges America makes chopsticks, the program says.


  125. Same Frank, just thought you knew I was just fucking with you. Why would I say i love you and mean it?

  126. Here's one for the ladies raising babies. :)

  127. Well Frank
    You have a very strange way of going from Point A to Point B but I really hope you don't repeat that whole fiasco......... really kidding
    Come on............. *grin*

  128. Me, the alt tag and title are matching, not so good. You should make the title SW (spelled out) plus a few more words after it but don't repeat the S word in the title like earlier. If you do this you could probably keep your alt the same but some filler in that probably wouldn't hurt as well.

  129. @Erin, perhaps not two-faced. You are two emotional states. Love and hate, both passions of attachment. I am not dissing you as much as a I pointing blind spots. Yet you are just too tied up in your suffering to hear it.

  130. @Erin

    I just don't waste my time on you anymore. That was me going from A to B. I needed to shake you off. Now please stop talking to me.

  131. Who needs impulse control? It's beneficial to loose control once in a while. It shocks people, especially if you play the calm and level-headed persona. A little destructiveness really fucks with folks. I don't sit back and think my negative actions through, I just do them mostly. I'd be a little poor bitch still if I had impulse control.

  132. "love me or hate me it's still an obsession"

  133. @Frank
    I will make a deal.Don't get in to my bees wax and I won't get in to yours :)

  134. @Erin

    I can have an opinion about Soulfulpath, and it not be about YOU! I never even mentioned your name, till you started talking to me.

  135. @Frank
    *I* was talking to Soulful so was PART of it.
    Just stay away from me totally OK?

    When you dissed me with Eden was the last I cared for your opinion.
    Frank likes it.Tell him

  136. I will give my opinion when and where I like. I didn't address you until you addressed me first, so take your own damn advise!
    My opinion was strictly to do with Soulful, and HER character.

  137. OK
    Well if you mess with me I got more where that came from
    Lets call this done and go from here K?

  138. I believe that's exactly what I was trying to do when i asked you to please stop talking to me. Now go back to your petty bickering and leave me alone.

  139. Thank you, Frank. You are a ruthless gentleman. ;-)

  140. @Erin

    Are you trying to control people here? Are you seriously asking Frank not to comment about something where you're in the conversation? When are you not in the conversation? How does anyone avoid you on here? You're all over this blog.

  141. @Soulful

    It's just an opinion and i have a right to it like everyone else. i don't understand why that means I'm messing with anyone. I think it's because I didn't take the side it was thought i was supposed to.

  142. OK Frank has a history of calling me a WHORE. Do you forget that?

  143. @Frank
    I am kind of bruised and sensitive to you after your days and days of calling me a whore OK?

  144. So what? He no longer wishes to speak to you, and asks you politely to quit. You have done the same. Get over it. I think frank is right. You just don't like people giving their opinions, if it means they're not taking your side.

  145. @Frank

    Objective opinions are refreshing. And no matter how much energy people put in being right, a variety of opinions always creates an optimum experience. So what's your story?

  146. @Anon
    No one likes people not to take their side .That is human.With Frank there was a history that made it different.
    It is over now.
    Lets drop it

  147. Yes Frank
    I would like to hear it too :)

  148. I don't want to tell my story here. I think people take up too much room on here, talking about themselves as it is. Thanks for asking though.

  149. I can tell you are not the Scheherazade type.

    I am happy enough if you can tell me your favorite gelato/ice cream flavor then I will leave you be. Enough information for my tastes.

    Take a risk.

  150. this place sux
    im going to find somfin to do in da real world

  151. @Soulful

    I don't know what that means, but it sounded good to me.
    Keep up the good work, Gracefulpath. ;)

  152. Weird...

    "A lot of people are upset about my offer to Casey Anthony to pose in Hustler Magazine. I can understand being upset by the verdict but it doesn't give anyone the right to dismantle the whole justice system. I've said publicly that I agree with the verdict, but she may very well be complicit in the death her daughter. I know that there is a two-year-old child gone and if any of us could bring her back we would. But we can't.

    The whole Casey Anthony affair is a morbid phenomenon. The only thing I can equate it to is the interest of others who marry people in prison with no chance of conjugal visits or freedom. Richard Ramirez, the famed Night Stalker, received more marriage proposals than any other prisoner in history."

  153. @Frank (not the risk taking type)
    It means if you tell me your most secret boyish desire. I own a part of your soul on a string.

    Not! Yet it is a very revealing question.

    Smart man for not answering. I already know withholding information is a card in your deck.

  154. mean.... frank, a socio, just said fuck off to both erin and soulful path in a language that speaks to each...

    his favorite ice cream flavor, you say, gracefulpath.... your blood...

    he even elevated himself with that keep up the good work... awwww....

    ladies, ladies... stop the torture...

  155. Charismatic guy

    Interestingly, if I am remembering correctly, he let one would be victim go and even complemented her on her looks for her age when she told him that he must have been treated poorly when younger to do what he was going to do to her.

    You can read stories like that from time to time how psychopaths/sociopaths will spare victims for what seems to be silly or non emotional reasons... like i need to take care of my grandfather or something so can you not burn me to death today. i guess because it was not about how can you do that to me and tears.

  156. A major socio in the making:

    This guy will manipulate others to blood shed without taking part himself.

    Look at his early convictions.

    He wears glasses, I bet those are not prescription, just clear.

  157. Good Eveining Ladies and Gents, or what ever time it is where you live.

    Let me first start off by saying, thank you for allowing me to "troll" your blog (so to speak).

    I have actually been reading this one on and off, along with many others, for two years now. I didn't feel the need to fully participate in this one though, until I saw Erin.

    My purpose here: I am finishing a book about "damaged" women, the circles they go in over the span of their lives, and what it takes for them to break out of those circles.

    I have been on this project for over 5 years now, and it has been pain staking, has required a great deal of patience, and has sent me on a thrilling journey that I will cherish forever.

    In the beginning, I asked women to participate and give me their stories, and let them know what my intentions were. But because they knew it was for a book, they gave me limited access to themselves, and only told their woeful stories through their perceptions of what their abusers did.

    I had to find more cunning ways of getting the information I needed. Ways that are unconventional and wins you few fans! lol
    But let me just say that I do what I do, because that is how devoted I am to this project, and to the women it might help.

    Erin. I emerged from the shadows because of you. I tested your strength, and you fought instead of backing down. That is what I'm looking for. Women who really want to change how they deal with the cards given to them. Thank you for not disappointing, and just know that nothing is ever as it seems. You can never know a persons story, or why they do what they do. It's more important for you to learn about yourself, and what works best for you.
    Do what ever it takes to stay alive, and to learn you worth.

    I've had a lot of fun here, and would like to keep checking in every now and then. The book is on its way to begin the editing process. If any of the women here would like to know more, have questions, or just want to tell their stories, you may e-mail me and I will get back to you when time allows.

    Thanks again,


    You sure played the part of an annoying AH :)

  159. whatever, Eden, hope you feel much better now.

    here is the 15 year old girl who killed a 9 year old girl just to feel how it's like to kill someone. you should go interview her.

  160. @Eden
    You did seem to dog me like a mosquito on my ass.
    Well, it will be great to have you gone with all due respect :)

  161. The positive trait that my wife has that sets her apart from you birds is that she not only understands me fully, but she submits to me. People who submit to me without understanding why, I have no respect for. Just distain.
    That's what hinders you girls. You submitted to the wrong man and now you have built so many walls you are in a prison of bitterness.
    Sleep in seperate rooms? Why do you wish such a foul future upon my wife? I'm sometimes surprised how foul and catty women are towards other women. Especially when they are without a man.
    I'm actually saying this to be real, not a bastard. Some of you birds (in socioworld) harbor so much resentment from your sociopath ex boyfriend that your caution now has turned to paranoia. Down the way that fear will cause actions that will be of detriment to your future relationships. You will be taking all the actions you should have taken against the bastard you used to have, on some poor sop who's trying to give your relationship a good go.

  162. Bravo Eden on confirming your vigilante status. Time to take the leap Erin.

  163. Funny because I wouldnt list erin as someone who has any strength at all. Anyone who allows their child to be molested at the behest of her husband till their son commits suicide is beyond pathetic in my book. I guess you are the one writing it though. So be it.

  164. @Ukan
    THAT is what I am trying to overcome You Penile implant

  165. A few book suggestions:

    The Sabotage Cafe
    Last Exit To Brooklyn
    and one of my favorites,
    100 Strokes of the Brush Before Bed

  166. For everyone's info which I don't owe you a thing but you have it all wrong Tool
    I took action the minute I knew
    Walk in my shoes and then judge me

  167. Ukan, you are a total idiot. All you have is a muscle power here or there, just not in your brain.

  168. I can't walk in your shoes. They're too small for me

  169. you're not supposed to have muscle power in your brain

  170. @Erin

    lol I don't blame you, for being relieved that I won't be riding your ass anymore! However, the thing about you is, you push yourself harder when a woman pushes you, than when a man does.

    I hope it becomes both someday. :)

  171. @Ukan
    Well my shoes are prolly the size of your dick.I am a very petite girl :)

  172. @Eden
    I know that. I hope so too

  173. Submit to you.... Understand you... What an idiot, you are, UKan. Me, me boy. We only laugh at you, idiot. you are an important part of this ugly world.

  174. Yes petite in your will and your brain. You let hin die erin. You fucking failed as a mother. How dare you even get up after that and walk around here calling ypurself anything above a worm. What kind of mother lets her son get molested by her husband? He killed himself because you didn't care. You didnt care because your need for acceptance outweighed your obligation to protect him. His death is the verdict on your motherhood.
    Now what? You are still here pouring out your heart to a bunch of sociopaths. Ypu still haven't said anything to your mother. You are still afraid to confront her. Fear. That's what guides you erin.

  175. @Ukan needs a dose of what I gave Frank.Since I have a truce with Frank I had to bottle up all of my comedic genius
    It is chomping at the bit :)

  176. UKan, I pray God watch over you and the terrible place you create everywhere around you. I pray that your biggest pain comes from your son. I pray that you one day pray that you don't hurt anymore.

  177. you are fake, erin, if your son really killed himself you would have some kind of reaction

  178. @Ukan
    I am gonna get my Vulva's wound up and go for your pea brain the size of your dick

  179. Dickhead
    I mean Ukan
    Want to come out and pway with the girl :)

  180. UKan, I pray that in every pregnancy you lose, that your sperm never sticks, that God stops any further creation through your genes, and God stops you for good with not death but deep suffering and paralysis.

  181. @Soulful

    I must say I was very impressed that you sensed what I was doing here. Thank you for not fully giving me away. ;)

  182. @Anon 2:55

    Erin had a fairly large reaction when her sons suicide was first brought up, but her reactions have become smaller with each time that someone (usually Ukan) try to use it against her again.

  183. @Scroto Brain
    I have to go for the mo but what O did to Frank will be nothing to what I do to you
    Get ready Pussi
    I love to pway :)

  184. Your prayers go unanswered. God left people like you at my disposal. What does that say? Either he doesn't care about you, he favors me, or he doesn't exist. Its ok. When your dead you will be in a better place, I'm sure of it.

  185. @Mania
    Thanks Baby
    I can play ball with a turd.You wipe it off your shoe easy but in this turds case you mess with it a little bit first
    He can't even keep up with the girl
    I am a wittle petite girl :(

  186. Petite Dick
    That is your name Penile Implant
    Go after a grieving mother.
    David sucking dick is a higher form of life than you :(

  187. @Penile Implant
    David is an exalted person next to someone who would use a childs death to hurt a mother
    Are you proud of yourself Dick head?

  188. You are so fluttered you can't write erin. You know what I said is true. I can't stand seeing your weakness any longer.

  189. UKan I pray that God gives you a disease like dystonia, something that cripples you and makes you needy of the weakest person on earth. As you are on the floor crippled, I pray, your wife milks the milk man and uses some of your way of talking to you.

  190. @Penis
    Go suck dick.It would be a step up.
    The lowest form of human asshole is someone who would do that to a mother who lost a son.
    No wonder your wife does not want your spawn
    She will prolly use your money and go find a decent man who would not sink to the lows you just did
    Would you want your wife to see that you would throw a woman's son's death out to hurt her?
    What a big freakin man YOU are.
    So tough
    So manly
    David should teach you what it means to be a man when he is sucking an old guys dick for a Brooks Brothers shirt
    You are filthy rotten trash and you will get what is coming to you
    That I know--no doubt.
    What you sow you read Dick head :)

  191. I hurt you?! You fucking deserve it and you know it!
    At what point will you face your fear? Because the way you speak of your son is like nothing. Even his death wasn't enough for you to fucking act. Now what's your excuse? You know what you need to do. The fact that your sons death didn't even propel you to take steps to finally stand up for yourself appalls me.

  192. @Penile Implant
    You threw a grieving mother's son's death in her face
    You are such a big man.
    Are you happy?
    Anything else you would like to say?
    I'm waiting.......

  193. Penile Implant
    Do you want your wife and all your "people" to see you making fun of a woman who lost her son?
    Would they be proud of the BIG MAN?

  194. So NOW you feel embarrassed and are trying to say you want to help me Dick head
    That does not fly
    You are the lowest form of filth worse than David
    I wish your wife could see this before she decides to have a kid with you
    What MAN would do this to a female?
    A BIG MAN like you?

  195. UKan, you have gone as low as anyone could go, she's telling the truth, and we all watch you get really low. I pray that when you are crippled with dystonia someone like David from your past gets you in every crevice of your body.


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