Friday, January 21, 2011

Trafficker to traffickest

Wow, that was quick. When I said yesterday that we were very close to passing Lovefraud on Alexa, I thought it would take at least a week or two. But last time I checked our momentum had pushed us past them. Congrats!

As promised, to celebrate this occasion I will reply to people in the comments section all day today. I have a couple meetings scheduled and have to sleep and eat, among other bodily functions, but otherwise should be relatively responsive throughout the day.

Another thing I promise to do soon is change the emo "lightning" background for the site. I used it initially because it had the best readability out of the default blogger designs, and it has grown on me a little... but not quite enough. Email me if you have any suggestions for its replacement -- preferably black and white (but mainly gray) and not too busy of a design. My frontrunners so far are the Mondrian trees, maybe this one or this one.

203 comments:

  1. Congrats and well deserved. Of the backgrounds you've chosen the first one may provide easier reading. The second is so black it might overwhelm. Thought I do like the incorporated green tinting.

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  2. Grayer the better. Maybe some clouds. Congrats on the success.

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  3. Haha, nice one ME.

    Hmm, the first one's far too bright, (too much white). The second is better but a bit dark. So yeah, I like the lightning one! It's just right.

    Glad I could be of use~ ;)

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  4. So, ME. What do you think of your regulars?

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  5. I'm reading without conscience, the part were it says that psychopaths don't have the same grasp of words really hit home for me, I always wondered why I mixed words up when I spoke, it also rectifies the fact that psychopaths have an immense poverty in basically all areas of life.

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  6. Yep, the second one is definately easier on the eyes, and I think it's quite nice too. :)

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  7. I like the Mondrian trees, reminds me of Dante's suicide circle of hell.

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  8. Anon 7.21, I remember reading about that. I found that particularly interesting. What kind of words do you mix up Anon?

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  9. Do you think there might be deviations within those who encompass ASPD? And by ASPD, I mean having at the very least lack of conscience, empathy, and remorse (as opposed to say, youth violence or a record)?

    Some people in the field claim that there's no difference between a psychopath and a sociopath, just interchangeable terms, and that quite a few people can apparently qualify for ASPD in comparison to psychopathy, via Hare's test. The issue seems that there are those who clearly have a problem and are not only a danger to others, but a danger to themselves. Then, there are those who seem like they have a good level of control, with simply dark inclinations.

    Should there be a different diagnosis between High and Low functioning? Because the "threat level" of an individual may not be different between the two, but how it affects them certainly seems to differ.

    I'm not particularly sure about it myself.

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  10. I'm a social scientist writing a book that will in part discuss how in the near future embryo selection might greatly reduce the number of sociopaths and autistics. I've written a lot about the social harms of having fewer autistics because autism is often correlated with positive traits such as exceptional math ability. I would be grateful to learn what you think the costs would be if far fewer sociopaths were born in the developed world. Also, overall would reducing in the number of sociopaths help or hurt society? If you find my questions interesting please consider turning them into a post and asking readers for their opinions.

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  11. damn I wish I had a better question...

    How many sociopaths do you think there really are? I think the official stat is 1%-4%. I think its more like 10%-15%.

    Its a flawed study since many sociopaths wouldn't admit it, even on some anon study.

    That plus my own personal experience. I've met too many socios, and for everyone I've figured out, I have a feel there are 3 or 4 more I haven't noticed.

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  12. Sociopaths are destined to be doomed at math, their minds, although ruthless are simple.

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  13. Anon, please hang yourself, it's even less than one percent trust me, if it was 1 in 25 people there would be a mass murderer every day, and a Charles Manson once a week, sociopaths are rare, psychopaths, in hares terms, are extraordinarily rare. You will probably never meet a psychopath in your lifetime, maybe a delinquent sociopath, or a wannabe goofy sociopath who watches Dexter.

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  14. Your mind is simple whelp. That's why you fall for everything.
    Sociopaths are not abnormal like autistic people, or say depressants on Lovefraud. Trying to eradicate a personality trait would never happen. Brain scans are not accurate detections of sociopathy by itself. What you are asking is a pipedream.

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  15. 1 and 100 means you will run into a sociopath weekly. Unless nyou are a hermit.

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  16. I can see who the sociopaths are, it's the ones who type like they are 10 years old

    Have you ever read a book written by a serial killer? Don't! It has no intellectual or emotional insight whatsoever and it feels as if it was wrote by a 10 year old, but I'm sure in the killers mind it was a potential best seller.

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  17. At this particular moment lovefraud has 409,427 traffic rank and sociopathworld has 408,663...

    But that's just me...

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  18. Is this wat you call generally responsive ME?

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  19. I wish you all would stop mentioning lovefraud, i thought we were above them?

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  20. Hi everyone, sorry I got caught up with things. Let me catch up with what has already been written and take the questions one at a time.

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  21. HE HAS ARRIVED ! THE SCOND COMING !

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  22. So, what do I think of the blog regulars? Well there are quite a few different types, the out sociopaths, the other "disorders" (BPD, aspies, etc.), the people who use it as a dating service, the people who read it for the DidHeDied guy, the people who masturbate to it. I like them all because if anyone asks a question in the comments, there's bound to be someone answering him/her, and not just someone but a few people, all with different backgrounds and beliefs. So I like the regulars.

    wv: vilin

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  23. The world loves sociopaths Adam. They don't love you. It doesn't matter how many times you suckers get worked over. We continue to be adored by everyone around us. You can say what you want about sociopaths intelligence, but things like facts seem to get in your way of your opinion.

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  24. Your own readers visiting the site 100 times a day doesn't really count. It would have been more interesting if you had been able to post your "win" without prompting everyone to visit the site over and over.

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  25. M.E, why do you think there is a stigma attached to sociopaths who make a self diagnoses?

    I have seen frequently, lets say a person looking for answers to his/her's behavior asks the "am i a sociopath" question in a forum etc, people automatically go on the assault, they shut off and tell you that a sociopath can never be self aware, not only does the statement hold no evidence, but when you think of it, it is laughable. Perhaps they are envious? That is the only theory i can put forth.

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  26. What do I think would happen if sociopaths were screened out at the fetal stage? It's an interesting question and I have no clue. But if I were to make a ridiculous science fiction film about it, I would have the sociopaths fetuses adapting to hide up in the fallopian tubes or other places in their mother's body, until they are viable, at which point they claw themselves out. But seriously, there is only so much tinkering we can do with an ecosystem. People have argued that sociopaths are at an evolutionary efficient number, not just for them, but for society. If we go, won't something come up to take our place? Something less charming and good in bed, probably.

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  27. I impulse bought without conscience for 30 dollars, i read the first page and got bored of it. *types in ebay*

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  28. Why do I think there's a stigma as to being self-diagnosed?

    I don't know why. I've never actually read that from someone who is a psychologists. But I would like to see case studies or other evidence for that proposition.

    So assuming it is possible for sociopaths to be self-aware, is it possible to accurately self-diagnose? Well, anything is possible. Contrary to popular belief, most self-diagnosed sociopaths that I see emailing me, etc., didn't set out to find the coolest diagnosis that they could cram themselves into. Rather they have always felt different, did some research, and discovered that the diagnosis of sociopathy is the one that fit best. But there are exceptions to everything.

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  29. Why be modest though? It is the coolest diagnoses you could have, your not going to walk around like fucking batman after getting diagnosed with all that "I'm such a tortured soul"

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  30. Ha, yeah, but to the extent that it is, the only reason it is cool is because it applies to people like us. There is no inherent coolness to the label, just us.

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  31. funny bit said...
    ME, I am very happy to hear your good news that the site is now widely visited, but I certainly would like to understand better what we are talking about. Do we have thousands of silent observers who have no need to say anything? Or, are we talking about random clicks as opposed to regular visits? And, thank you for your notice and contribution to the funny list of phrases by Dexter victims.

    ME and Fellow bloggers, I will propose a new funny bit topic every Monday, at which point I'll also present the compilation of the previous lists.

    Next Monday the topic will be what Dexter would say to his victim/himself at any point between his wrapping and disposing of the body in the ocean. At this point I'd appreciate it if people refrain from sending me their responses and wait till Monday's call. But, I'd like to hear your suggestions on funny bit topics for the future.

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  32. Often I find myself feeling in conflict with myself, I have a lot of seperate personalities which come out at different times, often conflicting with each other, most of the time I cannot control when they come out. How would you suggest going about fixing this conflict?

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  33. ME, I'd say don't touch the background, better than both your alternatives, very much of an attention grabber. Why fix something that's not broken? What is your motivation for changing it?

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  34. there will never be a screening process for aspies or socios. not in our lifetimes anyway. there has to be a mix of genes and environment, and the socio genes mixed with a good environment is probably responsible for many great progressors of technology and political vision.

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  35. As the background, i think it should be pictures of the worst of the worst people in history, you need to shock people when they come here, at the same time you want the site to have some class, make sure they are well dressed killers.

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  36. Have you got any tips on how to present a consistent personality in social settings? For example both me and my father take on different accents at different times, this must seem extremely suspicious to someone observing LOL

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  37. M.E. Your blog has tickled, charmed and enlightened me just as much as my socio lover. I want to thank you for providing a stage to voice the complexity of the sublime mind fuck, predator aggression and the emotional/erotic/power tango game.

    I do not find the lightning back drop "emo." Based on my personal experience, I find it exquisitely fitting. But who am I to tell a sociopath what to do. I would miss this image as much as I miss being played with.

    My question is . . . does self-awareness breed consciousness? I know it makes one a better manipulator yet as an off shoot does it breed a more transpersonal state of consciousness as one sees beyond to white noise of guilt to pure reality?

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  38. Nah I think it's time he changed it. Tired of looking at it. Plus the one's he has in mind are way cooler.

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  39. @ Res, are you serious? Sociopaths make terrible inventors, you mean aspie.

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  40. Funny bit -- I have no idea how Alexa does it, but they can distinguish between one person coming over and over again and other people finding the site via search engine or some other source. I just used Alexa because it seems to be the industry standard, but you could probably read more about their rankings system at alexa.com

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  41. Joe- practice the control. Train yourself like you would a dog. Name your personalities, be aware of them and also practice switching from one to the other, from "Hunter" to "Clown," let's say.

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  42. Do you find your personality changes to suit a situation, M.E? If so, can you give an example?

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  43. SoulfulPath-
    I don't know for sure, but it feels that way to me. Does it feel like tha to your socio?

    Got to run, will be back in about an hour or two. Will reply then to anything written in the meantime.

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  44. Hi M.E.
    What's your shoe size? :D

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  45. I have two accents. I have two names.

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  46. anon 7:21 (see below)

    can you tell a bit more about this grasp of words issue.

    Also, poverty? you mean in their upbringing? a lot of them are rich, you don't see kuklinksi worried about money.

    Anonymous said...
    I'm reading without conscience, the part were it says that psychopaths don't have the same grasp of words really hit home for me, I always wondered why I mixed words up when I spoke, it also rectifies the fact that psychopaths have an immense poverty in basically all areas of life.

    January 21, 2011 7:21 AM

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  47. Poverty of insight, i think he meant.

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  48. M.E. my socio/friend/lover does not communicate. Very secretive. We talk in code. When I get to close to understanding him, he pulls back. This blog has answered many questions and allowed me not to been so reactionary. Yet I have come to deeply value the guiltless mindset. And the gifts of the playful manipulative heart. It does feel if trained correctly it it can hold the transpersonal.

    Everything seems to come down to discipline and training. Like training a dog. Power is great when channeled as are creativity and genius. Not suppression. Boring.

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  49. ResCogitans wrote "there will never be a screening process for aspies or socios. not in our lifetimes anyway. there has to be a mix of genes and environment, and the socio genes mixed with a good environment is probably responsible for many great progressors of technology and political vision."

    What will happen is that scientists will find genes that make a child highly susceptible to becoming a sociopath or autistic and parents will avoid giving birth to children with such genes.

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  50. notme or nutme? personality flip? from wise to dumb in two seconds and back in one?

    Anyhow, Joe, can we please talk about this more. I thought multi-personality disorder suggests different personalities don't know about each other. in my case, or in your case, and definitely in notme's case we have this switch to child state from adult state within seconds and then back, while being quite aware. ME's suggested titles were hunter (adult socio) and clown (the child/the fool).

    I'd think that we have a lively personality where we have not yet let the child in is go, which is a great thing. We just may bring the child out when the rest wants us steady on adult and may irritate them. My sister brings out the joker as soon as the conversation gets too complex. So, maybe we should understand what triggers different types to surface and control it that way. My joker comes out when someone says something that hurst my sense of intelligence, or asks me a question with an obvious answer. My cute child comes out whenever I am happy about the surroundings and I feel love, as if it's ok to be vulnerable. My devil comes out when respect is violated. I am aware of all of these personalities, but I am not aware of when I may be pissing off people.

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  51. "Poverty of insight, i think he meant."
    Now, that is funny. you may be right. a good example of poor vocabulary as suggested then. Poor insight, not poverty in insight, lol.

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  52. 'notme or nutme? personality flip? from wise to dumb in two seconds and back in one?'

    well, you can't say i'm not versatile.

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  53. @10:14: Yeh sure I want to talk about it more I will post something in an hour
    @M.E.: Thank you for your insight, great website you've got going

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  54. Although having conversations on here is almost like an invite to get trolled

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  55. notme, you are certainly not boring, so live long sweetheart. when i said nutme i certainly did not mean harm.

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  56. no offence taken. it was a fair assessment. But it's MEs special day so it'd be nice to know more about him/her.

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  57. I just got out of this crazy discussion. So many people in life are secret fascists, wanting to enforce their beliefs on everyone else based only on anecdotal evidence. The urge to want to meddle with other people's lives "for their own good" is so strong in some people. This aspect of society alone would make me antisocial.

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  58. M.E, is this the only time you will be answering questions?

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  59. That's the good thing about being me, I don't have strong beleifs, I do impose my will though.

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  60. I answer people's questions in emails, although I am currently backlogged. I don't usually respond in the comments section because I figure there are plenty of other opinions worth hearing and if I really wanted to give my own opinion, I would just write a new entry about it.

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  61. anon 9.29
    although i think socios are capable of great creation due to their lack of accepting the established dogma, i'd agree that it is more likely to be a team of aspies managed by a snake in a suit (socio/narc) that drives a visionary project to completion.

    i think the genetic component is likely to be inextricably entwined with so many other things that the financial cost would not make it worthwhile to screen for a while. one of the companies i do business with is aiming for the genomics x prize which is about affordable gene sequencing. they aren't far off. but understanding the role of all those genes is a much more complicated matter.

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  62. M.E. said...
    The urge to want to meddle with other people's lives "for their own good" is so strong in some people. This aspect of society alone would make me antisocial.

    That's a good one. What it says is socio traits make me wanna become socio myself. I second that, I'm in exactly the same boat. No other way to doeal with socios.

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  63. but most people are muppets who don't know themselves and don't see the big picture or are clouded by their emotions. as has been blogged before i believe, socios give great advice. so what's wrong with subversively making one of your plaything's decisions for them when you know it isn't what they would choose if asked?

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  64. *playthings'
    i'm a grammar nazi even to myself ;)

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  65. rC get a better picture. am i supposed to see this ugly creature. certainly was not the image in my mind for you and now i am totally conflicted. yikes.

    here is some food for thought on getting tracked when we lose our online civility
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/21/pearlman.online.civility/index.html?hpt=T2

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  66. Gray is a wonderful color. I look forward to it.

    Fascism is NOT wonderful though.

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  67. anon 11.52
    do you know the point you're trying to make? was "must try harder" a common comment on your high school reports?

    and if you want any kind of dialogue please give some sort of name so as to distinguish yourself from other anons.

    and yes - i'm not really happy with the pic. i've cycled through a few and am yet to settle on one.

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  68. Res, I'd say emotions are not the main factor, if a factor at all in terms of knowing oneself. I think what affects people's self-awareness is the general lack of understanding of human emotions and of the diversity of people out there: When the status quo traps you into a mindset and code of behaviour, (say how M.E just described fascist thinking).

    Emotions can actually liberate you from that and actually make you see the bigger picture too. It's simplistic to say emotions cloud reason and logic. Maybe in the moment it can. Maybe it's another form or route to logic. And maybe, in terms of the bigger picture, it can pave the way to more sense.

    Am I making sense? ;)

    It ties in to leadership - who is prepared to sacrifice the comfort of the few to appease the majority? I'm not. But many, like Res I presume, would be.

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  69. i'll second notme. i have a very effective system of emotion alert. say i had a meeting. i come home and i start getting flashbacks about one part of the meeting. this tells me something was just not right. it's totally emotion calling on my brain to articulate and figure out what's going on in rational terms. hard to say i get the right reasoning when i start questioning but just the process of questioning starts turning on some light bulbs. this process is totally different than looking back at a meeting, this one is like my body ringing alarm bells emotionally and forcing me to seek clarification for the emotion

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  70. you did see the word "or" in the sentence muppets who don't know themselves... or are clouded by their emotions didn't you?
    i would almost define emotion as something that clouds logical judgment.
    are you thinking about decisions which have emotional consequences - thus requiring emotional understanding in order to accurately assess the balance of the equation?
    e.g. if i ruled the world would i suddenly make it illegal to use homeopathy? no - it is absolutely bunk, but people's emotions and false beliefs must be taken into account and the placebo effect from water is a cheap medicine!

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  71. i think that some emotions in empaths can be thought of as logical analysis done by the subconscious, then the result passed to the conscious as an emotion - a feeling of friendship to someone, disgust, a feeling that something isn't quite right.
    i think i have more conscious access to the raw data than NTs.

    ME any input? :p

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  72. i think ME understands the power of this blog is due to his facilitator role and allowing others to present varying views. he also is bored already from baby-sitting today, lol

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  73. new pic. whaddya think?

    ok change of topic - should bestiality be legal?

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  74. yeah, sorry Res, i misread your initial comment. *slaps wrist*.
    Yeah, that last comment of yours basically describes what I meant.

    The communists have returned. So i won't be chirpy for a while.

    ME will be back.

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  75. that's lovely. What is it?
    Mine's a bit better though. :p

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  76. I'm finding it hard to write anything as my OCD "Pure O" is acting up. Sorry

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  77. pic is a kind of inkblot pic of the flying spaghetti monster.

    yours is great - your own drawing?

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  78. lol where's the spaghetti? i'm dissapointed.

    no, not my drawing. but actually it's the kind of thing i do draw.

    Joe, what are you talking about? ;) pure O?
    btw i like the adam and joe reference.

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  79. if you type fsm into google image you'll see the similarity to other stylised pics of His Noodliness.

    did no-one like the bestiality story? i rofled when i first heard about it - the sheep couldn't take the stand to testify to mental anguish so the guy walked free...

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  80. lol remember ME's post recently about a pill to create a sociopath-like state for e.g. soldiers so that they don't suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome?
    well today i was prescribed beta-blockers (high blood pressure) and i've been reading up... and they have been used for exactly this effect, lol, i wonder what effect they'll have on me mentally!

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  81. yeah i read the bestiality story and it was pretty amusing. Peta won't be amused however.

    oh god matt berry is narrating a show on channel four right now. watching just for that.

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  82. I don't know what emotions are, and sometimes I wonder if the people experiencing them know either.

    I do think that people interpret their emotions in context. I have seen multiple times people have a certain reaction, then try to explain it away. Sometimes people will have a bad reaction to me and then you can sort of see them trying to explain it away like, "I must be jealous," or "I must have misunderstood." Sometimes it's the opposite, they'll have this outrageous or inappropriate reaction and then try to make up the context that would support it like, "I had to do that, he was threatening my wife." So I don't know if we can really examine the role of emotions completely in the abstract. To me they're sort of like flour -- always just an ingredient in something else.

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  83. Time for tougher questions, M.E.

    What is your relationship like with your significant other? Absent of that, what was your relationship like and why did you severe it.

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  84. The only emotions i feel intensely are anger and irritability, well it's more so rage than anger, of course. I can't remember the last time Ive felt sad or inadequate, I'm extremely schizoid though.

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  85. Hi uncle UKan, we missed you.

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  86. I don't have a significant other right now. I have actually rarely had long term relationships, at least not ones that weren't long distance or otherwise restricted in some way. I need a lot of alone time, at least 2 hours by myself per every hour I spend with others. If I don't get that, the mask starts slipping and any little thing can set me off. I have never found a way to make that work in a relationship. When/if I do have some sort of long term committed relationship, it will be for practical reasons -- kids, family, outward appearance of normalcy. I'm not really interested in that right now, but I think I may be eventually.

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  87. How bout your immediate family?

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  88. what would be the motivation for having children? I would think they take up too much time and need too much attention.

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  89. That's because you have no aspirations to build a dynasty, anonymous.

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  90. UKan, who is your favorite crime boss?

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  91. M.E., have you ever wanted to change and do you think it's even possible?

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  92. M.E, that's basically how I see emotions. They aren't a separate entity.

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  93. With my immediate family, I am like the minimally edited version of myself. I will still tell people what they want to hear, especially when I know that it would be useless to do otherwise. Other than that, I am pretty open with them.

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  94. I wanted to change and have changed at certain things. I used to be a terrible writer, I'm much better now because I really worked on it. I think I learned the efficacy of practice and repetition as a musician. I couldn't just fake being a good musician, I found that I actually had to work at it. Luckily I learned that lesson because now if I really want to change something about myself, I can train myself into it or out of whatever it is, within reason of course. There are certain things you can't change, like your genetics, or to a certain extent the way your brain is wired.

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  95. Joseph Stalin. He was a crime boss before, and during the october revolution. He used his funds from robberies and extortion to finance a revolt that eventually led to him ruling one the largest superpowers in the world.

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  96. So, you're saying you can't grow a conscience even if you wanted to?

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  97. Yes, a proto concscience, but good feelings don't last long, because we have a shallow make up, take the most trust worthy kind hearted outgoing person you know, reverse that and you have a sociopath.

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  98. I think you can grow a sort of conscience in that you train yourself to react certain ways to certain things. Like I feel nauseous when I see certain foods, why? Because they've made me sick before. If you can get yourself to associate certain behaviors or situations with bad feelings, then you can design your own custom-made "conscience."

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  99. I love to you watch you guys dance. (Wow. That sounded pretentious.) :)
    Something I only realised recently is how much of an effect socios can have on other people. What is for me a month or two of playing around can actually ruin their lives and be something they never fully recover from. Have you even been affected by something someone's said? I mean, have you ever been obsessed or fixated over something someones said or done to you, or just generally someone?

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  100. Here's one for you:

    My socio didn't punctuate in her typical emails or online chats--only with great effort. (Ironically, she's the editor of several undergraduate publications). I've noticed many socio commenters also seem to ignore grammar rules.

    It strikes me that socios, who find it difficult to contain their impulses, might similarly have trouble 'reining in' their thoughts with punctuation. Yet other socios (ME, Notable) have exemplary grammar.

    Does the socio distribution of grammatical fluency simply mirror the normal distribution in the populace? Or is "thinking out loud" type grammar characteristic of the socio and his/her thought process as I suspect?

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  101. M.E. how are you with the ones that your out to?
    Do you find yourself being relieved and less caustious or more suspicious and careful?
    Also what reaction do you recieve the best when your mask slips?

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  102. M.E., I've got a crush on you so I really need to know, are you a girl or a boy?

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  103. Mask on or off, i never take criticism well.

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  104. Are you, or have you ever been violent, ME? Do you consider yourself a violent person on any level?

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  105. How should the other person react when your in a demanding mood and it's not possible for them to cooperate?

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  106. ME you are right that you can change your mind to a certain extent, and there is evidence that actual neurophysical changes can be effected by psychotherapy.
    that paper discusses the fallacy that there is 'mind' and 'brain' and you treat the mind with psychotherapy and the brain with medication. the brain is an amazing organ and we shouldn't be surprised it isn't that simple.

    and i'm somewhat the same with relationships and time alone. my most successful relationship lasted several years and we never lived together. am trying to change aspects of myself to enable me to settle with one.

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  107. i don't know that it's a socio thing but more of an impulse issue Anon.
    I often don't capitalise the word at the start of a sentence. like this. Cos i can't be bothered. Some socios here are better than me when it comes to punctuation. I don't lack the knowledge, just the patience. And yes, getting something out quickly when I think of it is something I have in real life.
    So, it's more impulse, laziness and impatience perhaps.

    i used to use dashes instead of commas - it helped the flow of thought to page. I've forgotten how to do it now. It was natural back then - and it's nifty.

    I make an effort to write proper good here. yo.

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  108. I couldn't tell whether this was addressed to me or not, but whether I sometimes obsess over things, something someone said or somebody? Yes, I do. I obsess all the time. Sometimes it is me being a little OCD and sometimes it is for the pleasure of feeling the obsession, the pain of wanting something.

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  109. rC, I had complained about the pic. I like the new pic much better. thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  110. About grammar? I used to be kind of lax about it, and still am when I email people for instance or when i otherwise don't care, but try to keep it a little bit cleaner when I am writing to a mass audience.

    ReplyDelete
  111. With people I am out to, I am pretty much just my normal self, except I will give them a glimpse of the running dialogue going on in my head, my worldview, my conquests and projects, etc. Some of them get bothered by my stories, so I edit them a little. Frequently I will lie just out of habit, then remember that they know everything anyway and correct myself, laughing. When people are trying to warn me to back off a little, I usually just like it when they're upfront about it in a non judging way. Like, "by the way, you can't say things like you're going to seduce my mom anymore. No seducing any of my family members." Stuff like that should be dealt with as straightforward as possible. But no secret judgment! Or hurt! Nip it in the bud before you get hurt, that's on you.

    ReplyDelete
  112. If I've seduced some of my readers, it's been completely intentional. And would it really matter to your crush which gender I am? It doesn't matter to me so it is hard to imagine how it would matter to anyone else. Seriously though, I try to keep as many identifying details about myself out of the discussion not just because I'm trying to stay under the radar a little bit, but I also want to sort of be a blank page that people can project their own experiences on to.

    ReplyDelete
  113. I don't consider myself a violent person, but I have been violent. I don't see violence as being it's own distinct thing, if that makes sense. Like I make no distinction between physical dominance and emotional or psychological dominance. So violence sometimes, when it is the best tool. But usually not.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Thanks for answering my earlier questions. I was under the impression that true sociopaths couldn't change. One more question. Have you thought about getting formally diagnosed?

    ReplyDelete
  115. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  116. I've actually been formally diagnosed, something of a whim that I don't really recommend to anyone just because, what's the point? The tests aren't really designed to test people who think they might be sociopaths, more to provide a paper trail for incarceration or other institutionalization. Pretty much the tests are just looking for thrill-seeking, narcissistic assholes, bonus points if you have done time or have a temper. What does it mean for me to be diagnosed? I guess that I am a thrill-seeking, narcissistic asshole with a bit of a temper--same as I knew before.

    ReplyDelete
  117. M.E. do you ever want to destroy any of the poster's or shutn them up?

    And do you ever come on and give your opinion like some think you do?

    ReplyDelete
  118. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  119. M.E. Don't tell me then, I like wondering, but I think you're female because your manipulation games are female. Guys usually don't bother manipulating cause they've been raised since birth to be tough. Girls, on the other hand have to find other more interesting ways to get their way.

    I love your blog, you've given me some good ideas on new games to play.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Hello M.E., fun to have you comment.

    You said your relationships are generally short lived. What is it that usually happens that cuts them short?

    Also, could we get some vague idea of your age? 20s? 30s?

    ReplyDelete
  121. M.E.
    As a species that can't help being fascinated by novelties, how much do you see Moravec's Paradox in the way we are dealing with Sociopathy?

    à la, Res's and notme's exchange on emotions and our so called greater capacities.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I've commented a handful of times to sort of "set someone straight" or shut them up about things, but not for a year or more. It hasn't been necessary for me to put anything in the comments since then because eventually people will come up with all kinds of arguments for or against something. And I am not as sure that I am right about certain things as I used to be. Now I just like seeing the diversity of opinions and keeping an open mind about things.

    ReplyDelete
  123. I'm in my 30s.

    Usually my relationships end because I get bored, or I am disenchanted, or realize there's nothing really much to the other person, or just want alone time. I just stop responding to phone calls, etc., make excuses until they give up. I never like to be the one that puts the final nail in the coffin, because until the very end I wonder if I will change my mind and feel like continuing the relationship. I never can predict when that will happen so it always seems safest to play things both ways for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  124. I wasn't familiar with Moravec's Paradox until I googled it just now. I don't know if I have any deep thoughts but I think it brings up an interesting point of how little we are aware of why we do things, and that we frequently take as a simplistic view of our beliefs or feelings that are actually quite complex in origin. The most troubling thing about this lack of self-awareness is that it blinds many to the puppetmasters that would exploit their willingness to self-deceive. For instance, it always scares me when people say that they go with their gut instincts, without questioning where those gut instincts are really originating from -- possibly either their own false beliefs or beliefs by others through socialization or indoctrination. But you could never argue with them because their opinions aren't based on logics, but rather "feelings" of indeterminate origin.

    ReplyDelete
  125. M.E. what in a person keeps you intrest? Someone steady or like some of the other's here that have talked about their emotional partner's like the BPD?

    ReplyDelete
  126. Good question, who keeps my interest. I read a NY Times article a week or two saying that the happiest marriages are those in which each partner feels like the other partner is personally enriching, e.g. one partner is into art, the other partner likes to learn about art, etc. The people who I have been connected to the longest are like that. There is something about them that adds value to my life. They make themselves indispensable.

    ReplyDelete
  127. So if you have a relationship that is just sexual then are just afunction or toy. I've read alot about wanting to make other's a willing slave but where does it go whan it comes to that do you lose intrest?

    ReplyDelete
  128. I can only speak for me, really, but if it's just sexual then it is about dominance or acquiring something. Once that is done, there's very little to hold my interest. Unless they're wealthy or well connected or something else...

    ReplyDelete
  129. What if you can't quite gain that dominance, will you tirer of them?

    Really thank you for answering me.

    Sometimes it's hard to get an answer on here so much tetesterone flying.

    ReplyDelete
  130. I usually only play games that I am pretty sure I can win, but that will still be a challenge for me. If I can't ever gain that dominance, I just give up, or better put, I move on.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Last question, what if they leave you before your done with them?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Hi M.E, what's your favorite colour/color and animal? ;)

    Also, you seem like a contemplative person. Has anything you've read from people make you rethink things you thought you were quite set on before?

    About sociopathy or otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  133. What do you mean? What should you do? Move on? Take up a hobby? Find your own seduction target?

    ReplyDelete
  134. Favorite color yellow, favorite animal octopus.

    Yeah, I rethink things all the time. But it's pretty easy, I don't really have any firmly held convictions.

    ReplyDelete
  135. For a freind, lol. Yea

    ReplyDelete
  136. My favorit animal is a grizzly bear. I Especaly like them coz ther big and brown and furry like a doggy only more bigger. My favorit cular is lellow coz its brite and cularful like a ranebow only wif les culars.

    ReplyDelete
  137. My favourite animal is man, black, red and white are my colors.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Ahhh Misanthrope if I wub your belly will your leg shake?

    ReplyDelete
  139. i must say, yellow is a fucking amazing colour. My fave colours to wear are red, yellow and gween but gween and gweeny blu or turquoise is my fave of all time! yay.
    and my fave animal is anything feline. Tigers, I luvs them sooo much! Ooh, i forgot, I love huskies and wolves. I just love fluffy things. But felines/tigers are my fave - Patterned fluff.

    ReplyDelete
  140. But Misanthrope, I wonder which is better, a grizzly or a tiger. There's only one way to find out.
    FIIGGGHHHT!!

    ReplyDelete
  141. M.E, If you like cephalopods, you might really enjoy this documentary. It's actually about cuttlefish, but you might find some similarities to both what appeals to you in octopuses and in socios. :)

    Are you left, right, mix-handed, or ambidextrous? (Am curious in regards to other socios too.)

    ReplyDelete
  142. Thrope, do you bite ;)~

    my favorite color is a tan wearing white. Animal is a panther.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Lol, Harry Hill. In all seriousness though, my grizzly would destroy your tiger anyday.

    ReplyDelete
  144. (I didn't mean to interrupt the leg-shaking experiment between Misanthrope and This I Know, etc. I'm curious too.)

    ReplyDelete
  145. Right-handed, but left eye dominant and grew up being pretty ambidextrous.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Are you left, right, mix-handed, or ambidextrous?

    Depends on what I am doing with my hands. mmmmmm ;)

    ReplyDelete
  147. My animal is a raven. Because they feed on the dead.

    ReplyDelete
  148. lol 'Thrope'. I called 'may contain small traces of nuts' 'nutty nut nut' for the hell of it yesterday. Well, if you're gonna have a provocatively long name for heavens sake...

    Sula2, I don't have hands due to a severe kitchen accident. I'm typing with my big toes. I've gotten used to it I suppose...

    And no Thrope, I can bet my flat on the tiger. You know what, if someone finds some footage of such a fight we can find out.

    ReplyDelete
  149. I had a raven.

    I can do amazing things with my feet.

    ReplyDelete
  150. There's this one lady that has a raven and the bird flies above her car when she drives around.

    I want a raven. You cant just have one as a pet in the US though, as they are migratory.

    You have to find an injured one. Any of you sociopaths wanna help me out here? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  151. I'd hold the bears cubs captive as an insurance policy.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I raised two baby squirrels till they could leave, I want to change my favorite animal to squirrels.

    ReplyDelete
  153. You belong in a Disney film anon.

    ReplyDelete
  154. That cougar bribed the bear so that it would look good in front of it's cub.

    ReplyDelete
  155. yeah yeah... :D

    the fact is, never mess with a good mummy, whatever the species.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Hates humanity (Misanthrope)

    were you messing around on the other site yesterday? I had someone pegged. I suspected Ukan.

    ReplyDelete
  157. I'm watching 'Murder By Number's'

    ReplyDelete
  158. You'll never know now.

    ReplyDelete
  159. I found a baby raven out of its nest in the area around my house. They say to leave them, but my girlfriend said they talk. I wanted it.
    I took the lil bugger and put him in my garage. The other ravens actually tried to attack me and take their baby back.
    My girlfriend tried to feed it and got nowhere. We tried to give it water, and got nowhere. We left to the club and came back and it was dead.

    ReplyDelete
  160. why, were you kicked out already? hehe! No seriously, who were you?
    I know Ukan's name began with an S.
    I bet you weren't even there.

    ReplyDelete
  161. UKan--Ravens have over 245 distinct calls, so they have incredible memories. (They also retain memories of human faces for years and have different ways of identifying familiar people to other ravens: safe, not safe, etc.) But they can only learn to speak human words if you have their tongues altered, say by a vet. Then they'll learn to mimic words just like parrots do.

    It's too bad your raven hadn't died. They're pretty amazing pets.

    ReplyDelete
  162. edit: i don't know why the "hadn't" is in the last sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Here's some questions.
    What changes have you seen in sociopathworld as you developed it? What changes in yourself? Was it paralel? How bout change in readers? Did the change in commentors change the type of emails you got? Do you have stalkers? When are we going to lure these people in a wharehouse and kill them? I'm tired of waiting.

    ReplyDelete
  164. coincidence: Right handed but left eye dominant, grew up ambi, kind of makes for a terrific marksman.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Ukan, who would you kill first and last and how would you do it? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  166. Good questions. I think I used to be more imprecise with the blog. I used to rant, didn't care as much about grammar or presentation, it was more just putting my perspective out there. I didn't really know if the blog would get popular while I was writing it, but I knew that everything on the internet stays there for forever, so I always thought it was worth the effort. When I first started writing, everything was more about my perspective, I didn't know that much about sociopathy beyond my own experience. People would email me articles or I would stumble upon them, but I have never been that great about actually systematically reading through the literature, even now. I was, and still am, as lazy as I can get away with.

    In terms of who wrote me emails then and now, pretty much the same. I think I used to get a lot more "am I a sociopath?" And depending on how I responded, I could get stalkers. So I stopped really giving any opinion at all, just tried to talk it out with them instead so they wouldn't feel the need to harass me. There were also a lot of victims, then it became more people who knew they were sociopaths or knew they loved sociopaths, which made me feel less like a sociopath dear abby.

    For a while I hated my job, so the blog meant a lot to me in terms of attaining self-knowledge, power, and a sense of purpose. Maybe those were the golden months of the blog. More often than not, I was writing to provoke. Now it's more something to keep me grounded, to give me an outlet and give me ideas.

    Oh, and I hate the new spam filter, but I can't opt out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Slightly ambidextrous? Do you do what I do and switch the hand you favor for totally separate tasks?

    I keep thinking about your earlier articles about 'screening' for sociopaths and the pill that suppresses guilt. I've never been able to come up with a clear answer for the ethics of screening people for potentially damaging conditions... possibly because there are a lot of ways it can go wrong. I was misdiagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome as a child, when really I had PTSD, and the result was a whole lot of addling medications. I'm not saying that's a normal case, but I think I'd be more comfortable with the idea of screening if it was oriented towards assisting the person with unusual genes/mentality instead of trying to strain unattractive conditions out of society.

    As for the pill... Eh. I think if you're fixing to kill someone it doesn't make much of a difference whether you feel guilty or not directly after you do the deed. It's hard to say that a drug will even be implemented much when it's just in the development stage, so I have no idea whether it might even be made use of on a significant scale.

    Thanks a lot for today. It means a lot to me. And thank you for the blog, which is wonderful for helping me to get a balanced perspective on the sociopathic condition.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Weird, on a coincidental level. I have the same hand/eye style, and favorite animal.

    My post was long-winded, so I apologize if you missed the question.

    Do you go along with the "ASPD/Sociopathy/Psychopath is all the same thing", or do you think one if not all are different. Also, if you do, what do you think are the distinguishing lines?

    It seems the popular point of view from a few regulars and anons/trolls is that if you aren't a drooling, soulless criminal, you aren't legit. I personally find it laughable, but that's just my point of view. What else are we going to label people with who have no conscience, empathy, remorse, are exploitative and are aware of it? High Grade Dick Bags? :P

    ReplyDelete
  169. I guess I sort of believe in a spectrum, although it's hard to say because I have only personally known myself and people that are similar to me. Do I think people like Kuklinski are more similar to me than normal people? (In some ways that's what your question is asking.) I think I am more similar to him than a normal person is similar to him, obviously. I am also more similar to him than I am to a normal person, but that is closer call.

    To really try to answer your question, though, I think ASPD is a purely functional distinction to target antisocial behavior in the guise of it being a disorder. I think that sociopath and psychopath could be the same thing, or there might be differences, either genetic, environmental, or behavioral. But if they are different species, they are at least of the same genus, e.g. if a sociopath and a psychopath mated, they would have a mule.

    ReplyDelete
  170. What about a Narc and a Psychopath mating? ;)

    Speaking to my socio co-worker, and a few people from here, is the closest I've come to "relating to others" in any significant dimension. Before then, I mostly got along with people quite a bit my senior. Not because I could relate to them, but because they weren't intolerably stupid and actually had something useful to say once in a while.

    After hearing people say for decades, "How can you say/think that?", it's nice to finally have people to talk to that know exactly where you're coming from.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Who is your favorite professional in the field, so to say? You introduced me to Newman in one of your older blog posts with a video of his, and he seems to be one of the more professional and objective researchers out there, not whoring himself out for a money bag.

    ReplyDelete
  172. thanks for answering our questions M.E.

    So, now that everyone's gone, you can tell us who you like and who you can't stand...
    ;)
    don't worry, if i'm on the bad list i won't get upset.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Ha, you're paranoid about that, eh? Who even cares what I think?

    ReplyDelete
  174. Not paranoid. Curious. :p
    Plus, i'm not the first person to ask that today.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Do you ever feel as if you sometimes have the capacity to empathise with others? Especially while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

    I self diagnosed myself a sociopath a long time ago, though I've had a few occasions where I've been led to doubt my diagnosis due to what I think may almost be empathy. The peculiar thing about these rare occurrences is they always seem to be benign in comparison to other things I've shrugged off. I've done some terrible things including pulling off destructive cons on people that consider me their best friend, emotionally destroying family for personal gain and stripping random people of valuable items for nothing more than the fun of it and never felt bad for it. And yet, small things such as upsetting a complete stranger after a snide comment on facebook, or rejecting a cute but socially awkward lady due to disinterest has left me feeling terrible for an hour or two before coming to my senses again.

    The majority of these circumstances have occurred while I've been under the influence of alcohol, marijuana or psychedelic drugs. I was just wondering if other sociopaths have gone through this, or if I'm actually just a normal, albeit extremely emotionally callous, manipulative asshole that unlocks empathy with substance abuse.

    Also, another thing that has made me doubt my sociopathy is a small feeling of malaise upon cutting contact with people that I've been close with for an extended period of time. I've just chalked this up to being uncomfortable with change, as I seem to recover far quicker (one to two days) as opposed to empaths being depressed for weeks to months.

    Keep up the good work on the site.

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  176. If I may ask, Anon @ 11:16, do you feel these brief moments of intoxicated "empathy" are enough to outweigh all your other diagnostic traits that happen the rest of the time? It seems unlikely from what you've explained.

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  177. Anonymous, I see that as completely plausible. I purposefully watch my behavior around strangers and such. The first impression is everything, and it matters. You don't know if that person could show up again for whatever reason, good or bad.

    I experience something similar on substances (usually just alcohol or psychedelics), but attribute it more towards paranoia. The difference is that I feel no remorse for the action, but I feel regret. Especially if there is a negative response from others. They may toss you aside, think ill of you, or spread word to everyone else of how cruel you are. Word of mouth is like wildfire. Regret is rooted to the paranoia.

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  178. I can certainly be a lot more happy go lucky when I'm drunk (and that's an understatement) but empathy?

    I don't know if I've been drunk in a situation that warrants empathy in quite some time, to be frank.

    Oh, and hello again Loki. Good to see you back.

    ReplyDelete
  179. question for you M.E

    1. are you bisexual?

    2. do you believe in God/bible?

    3. what is your worst fear?

    4. have you ever been in love?

    5. have you ever cried over someone, or a loss of some kind?

    6. what is your favorite food?

    7. FL, NY, CA- where would you live out of those 3?

    8. do you doubt who you are-even with a socio label?

    9. what is your favorite type of music- Rap, pop/ hip hop, reggae, Rock n Roll, country, RnB, jazz, classical...?

    10. What country would you be in right this second if you took a vacation?

    ReplyDelete
  180. M.E., I just visited the Alexa website and I don't understand why it shows lovefraud has more traffic than this website, what's going on?

    I also agree with you that it is almost impossible to self-diagnosis ones self as a sociopath.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Anon its not the higher number but the lower number that has more traffic. The figure you see pertains to how many sites have more traffic.

    ReplyDelete
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