Monday, December 20, 2010

Small towns

There is incredible diversity amongst the sociopathic population. Although we share some physical/genetic/environmental characteristics, there are also many things that vary widely such as intelligence, ethnicity, race, age, socioeconomic status, gender, education, etc. These factors all affect the way our sociopathic traits manifest themselves making each one of us a special snowflake. In fact, when you consider the breadth and depth of influence that these factors have in a typical person, it's amazing that sociopaths are as similar as they are. One important environmental factor that I hadn't really considered before is the role of growing up in a small town vs. a larger city, and the stifling effect the former would have on sociopathic behaviors. From a reader:
I think focusing on impression management is key to the high-functioning part of "high-functioning psychopath". Nearly all of us mimic to give the impression that we are just like everyone else. Those of us who recognize that we can get more out of people if they want to give it to us just focus on our overall reputation a little more. Those of us who recognize that we can't control our baser urges every single time and may need some benefit-of-the-doubt cover, make a point to emanate safety and innocence.

I think the lack of understanding about the importance of impression management among others is probably due to one of three issues: One, the individual isn't a psychopath or anything like it. Two, the individual is not a high-functioning psychopath, and thus can't see the big-picture benefit. Three, the individual is a high-functioning psychopath, but has never lived in a small town or been part of some small sub-community within their city. I currently live in a decent-size city, and can see how easily anonymity is attained here. In a small town, most people know where most other people are most of the time, and what they are doing, so from a psychopath's perspective, it is a different world.

Being a child adds another complication. How you are viewed is inextricably linked to how your parent is viewed. Your power in the community derives from theirs. It was vital in playing my town--getting what I wanted when I wanted it--that my mother was viewed favorably. Now I'm doing the same thing for my spouse, who is in a career where image and reputation are very important.

177 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post addresses an interesting factor in the role of the environment for a sociopaths development. The small town dynamic eliminates many or most of the needs a sociopath would have to develop their sociopathic tendancies. Therew are other opportunities in a small town that are otherwise unavailable in the rest of the world. For example, close friendly neighbors that can help you to get away from problems at home. Close social networks in schools and communities that provide the same benefit. The small town formulates safe havens for development that could alleviate sociopathic traits where they start. This kind of attention is lost in big cities. Interesting. Does anyone who is actually a sociopath come from a small town? Would small town people develop toward narcissism to take advantage of the small town atmosphere of sharing and caring and exploit the emotional culture?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I grew up in a very small of town of less than 1000 people miles out in the country with dirt roads and no minority races (this was in the 2000's btw) and narcissism is definitely a factor. My highschool had 44 in my graduating class and the elementary Jr high and high school were all in the same building. Because of the lack of large amounts of people its relatively easy to manipulate everyone because no one is smart enough to catch on to you. It's easy to be a cheerleader and a perfect student when everyone around you is a loser who cares about fashion and celebrities and drugs while you are manipulating the f--$ out of them. Being nice to them and respectful to teachers and others in positions of authority so then they are more likely to not believe any of the bad things anyone says about you. There is def a power trip. All these people die for your attention when inside your mind you laugh at their desperation and could care less and feel above their sheeple stupidity and know inside they could never comprehend the things you truly think of.

      Delete
  3. I come from a town of 1200 people. I've never really considered the dynamic. I'll sleep on it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Also an interesting factor. Small towns develop more diverse subcultures, having less emphasis on group stereotypical development by the shear fact that there are less numbers to formulate norms.they have a more distinct culture and less defined subculture as in the jocks, goths, gangs etc. Does this make it more difficult for a sociopath to blend in or simpler?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I didn't grow up in a small town, but I've lived in a few, Snugglie Grizzles. Like the reader said, your parents/family ties directly to your own image. In the same way you hypothesize it would be better, it can be worse. A lot of those base needs cannot be met with a measure of anonymity to aid your darker endeavors.

    As far as narcissists, they're everywhere, and unlike sociopaths, they're quite easy to spot, even to the somewhat untrained eye.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unable, that doesn't actually make sense in answering my question. Perhaps I should clarify. I mean are would be sociopaths more narcissitic or do they develop into narcissists in small towns instead of sociopaths?
    And in lieu of your comment to family homelife being a hindrance, I'm actually talking about development, not your close family and community hindering acting sociopathic traits, but hindering the development of those traits.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Notable, pathological narcissism or malignant narcissism is very rare and those are the guys that bring hell to earth.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hitler wasn't diagnosed a sociopath, but with malignant narcissism.

    ReplyDelete
  9. As they say it's narcissism on pathological steroids, as if a narc isn't vile enough how they are, picture one who is envious of others to the point of wanting to possess them, so paranoid of external forces that battle with their inflated self worth and they will destroy anything that threatens the ego.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Who manages this blog? Does he take or did he ever take part in the discussions?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Some of these so called sociopathic traits are in fact notable insights sitting side by side with other positive virtues in asian societies. Perhaps an explaination why a lot of asian students studying overseas are perceived by their hosts to be rather polite but non critical. Yet among a few other examples, one of the world's largest illegal Soccer Betting syndicate with the record turnover for the World Cup before the recent one, comes from my state. Sometimes I wonder if the strange fact that Justice System of the world's most open society, still having the ritual of swearing by the Bible has anything to do with it all.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gag, you're posts never make sense, i still haven't an idea what the fuck you are discussing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Panzram, how far are in on this blog so far? Are you familiar with Machiavelli?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gag, you're totally doing it on purpose now, aren't you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You never speak about what goes on behind closed doors.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nothing going on. Just questions and an observation or two. Don't mean no harm or disrespect to anybody nor want it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm amused by gags facitious rants. Perhaps he's a ukan!
    Otherwise, I just wondered if my question made sense. My computers been tempermental and deleted a bunch of stuff at random, plus I couldn't see what I was typing. Let me know if I need to clarify anything.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Gag has fell off the cliff that is sanity. Good morning, chums.

    ReplyDelete
  19. By the way, Notable, this is one of your more dreadful works.

    ReplyDelete
  20. MY BALLS ARE SWEATY KNEES WEAK MOMS SPAGHETTI ON MY SWEATER ALREADY

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh there goes gravity back to reality you better lose yourself in the moment you own it

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow, this site is boring, not enough emphasis is spent on interesting discussions, like serial murder, corruption etc

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sabrina don't just stand there EAT IT!

    ReplyDelete
  24. La la la fukn la la la fukn la la la.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Are you talking to us? Or are the voices in your head having a conversation of their own?

    ReplyDelete
  26. I always assumed that sociopaths came from small towns and remote places. I thought that was part of their problem. Not enough social outlets and too much time on their hands. I know this isn't true but that's been my assumption.

    I come from a town 10 miles from NYC. Never the less, It was the most boring town ever. I hated it and I always hung out in other towns where there was more action, more people. I wouldn't say I was a social butterfly ever, I just hated being bored.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anon @ 4:21

    If you find this website so dull, why not start a discussion, rather than stating your bordom?

    ReplyDelete
  28. My mother was never involved in the community. She wasn't interested in any of that. She was more interested in making money and material things. In many ways I benefited from her working but no one knew who I was except my few friends and their parents. My brother was a jock so everyone knew him. He made a name for himself I just lingered around..lol. Very unenchanted with life then.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Grace did you have any interest yourself in getting involved with the community?

    ReplyDelete
  30. All right for anyone who's interested, here's the score in brief;
    Machiavelli's The Prince published 1532. Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching 6BC. Similarity - both books were banned at some point. Both are regarded as source texts about insights of true human nature by their cultures of origins and influence. Differences - Machiavellian principles openly states conflict between state(power) and church(morality/ethics?) whereas there's no such paradox in the Tao-te Ching & I-Ching being the sources of Taoist spirituality where both ruthlessness and kindness are part of the way.

    This modern/popular? publication gives an idea. Sociopathy? Judge for yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My son is in the boy scouts so we’ve done some things together. I volunteered in the hospital and now I'm collecting toys for the kids in the oncology unit. Nothing else though.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I picked up on something the anonymous troll said a few days ago. They said something like "Narcissists strive to be hated."

    There are two ways to handle this one.

    Send it lots of flowery love and acceptance

    or

    Ignore it.

    You're only feeding it when you fight with it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sorry for being disjointed and jumping a little ahead in my earlier posts. They were kinda my loose take on the question of heritage, environmental factors and sociopathy. It may not be the context that some of you have in mind but I do come from a small and young state composed of a mixed population of 3rd~4th generation migrants from around asia, including China and local ethnicities enamoured with some aspects of a foreign (western) culture via paternalistic government policies as well as a colonial heritage. There, I've done my bit to be polite.

    ReplyDelete
  34. @The Anonymous Horde:

    I'll take your word on statistics with narcissism. I only have my own experiences. There was a time when sociopathy was considered extremely rare. Now it's about 1 in 25.

    I have no idea about the possible mutations that can occur in small towns between NPD and ASPD, or the proclivity of possible co-morbidity. As far as if those traits come out in small towns more, I'd hazard to say yes. There is a smaller crowd to play to, which means less people to share the lime light.

    @2: I can understand why you might think this was mine, as Impression Management was mentioned, but this isn't an excerpt from me. Thanks for the baseless, criticism-free insult though. I'll make sure the next time someone decides to use a phrase that I have, that I constantly demand perfection of their abilities through telepathic means, just for you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi 2,
    It's actually one of Pythias' more dreadful works, though it was part of a discussion with TNP, so close. Better luck next time, though.

    ReplyDelete
  36. have taken a mental-health day off from work and finally gotten round to starting up a blog... it's not a socio blog, just random musings, but no doubt mental issues will get written about at some point.

    i've started a draft on the culture of tipping - but my thoughts aren't yet crystalised if anyone wants to comment? i would guess that socios generally tip less often, so long as they aren't impression-managing (hang on i'm getting a wierd telepathic feeling from noteable...) or going to return to that restaurant.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Gag, to a few you were understood just fine. Just keep blabbing. Btw I come from a medium town, not rural as in 1200 people, not large as in socialist freemason enterprise.

    I think that's where my indifference comes from.~

    ReplyDelete
  38. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  39. How much is much? I lived in (I think) 5 different houses/apartments by 18. May that is moderate?

    ReplyDelete
  40. I lived in 8 different houses/apartments while growing up.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Impression management is a Robert Hare thing.
    Malignant narc is a theory.
    I didn't move much at all. I don't think it has anything to do with sociopaths.
    Gag is a muppet.

    ReplyDelete
  42. (i actually like gag. i hope he doesn't take it personally, but i think he's schizophrenic, and schizophrenics are interesting to me. he doesn't seem to mean any harm. i'm not sure why people take him so personally.)

    that's my quick rant, plus another name change.

    5-8 moves actually seems like a lot to me, especially when you're a kid. it doesn't give much time to establish a whole lot of ties.

    ReplyDelete
  43. ps: but then, i think it's possible to stay in one place, too, and not develop ties, depending on the atmosphere in the neighborhood. i didn't, and my family stayed in one place for years.

    i think it's maybe about born sociopathy (or pd) or reactive. i keep thinking about attachment disorders and such. how likely are they to develop into some kind of pd?

    ReplyDelete
  44. why do sociopaths move? To get away from bad reputation and start anew with newly learned skills? Normal people may want to do the same, there's gotta be another reason.

    Maybe they are having a hard time defining what it is they like in a home, and keep searching because they are easily bored?

    Looking for new neighbors to manipulate?

    ReplyDelete
  45. i love Gag, he brings great colour here. I guess it's fun trying to tease apart his words, even if it's to no avail. I can't be critical since i'm sure i'm prone to hopping around from thing to thing whilst failing to justify the connection. (just a tip there Gag). anyway...

    i grew up very rurally, never moved once whilst growing up. i am not a socio, just a little bit narcissistic i suppose. Zed, i think i'm a bit RAD and yes i have a pd. so, i think you're on the money there.

    Grace, your mum sounds a bit like mine. she didn't know what community meant. neither did i for a long time. apple/far/tree.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Moving is not a sociopathic trait so your question is not answerable. I think some people missed the point which was that though sociopaths are very similiar to each other its the way that we grew up that makes us unique.

    ReplyDelete
  47. There's two thing that are certain in life, besides death and taxes. Well I guess that would make it four wouldn't it? Sociopaths and houses. I'm not quite sure if you want to mix the two but if you do you might end up with death and taxes.

    P.s. I'm a muppet

    ReplyDelete
  48. Not cool Ukan. At least give me a description that is a scientifically known PD...yawn

    ReplyDelete
  49. I've lived in the same city all my life, and I have no intrest in moving. I've set up base here, But, if everything went downhill, eg If I got into serious trouble with the police or If I ran out of friends/connections, I wouldn't hesitate to leave everything and everyone behind, and start a new life somewhere else.

    ReplyDelete
  50. "I can understand why you might think this was mine, as Impression Management was mentioned, but this isn't an excerpt from me. Thanks for the baseless, criticism-free insult though. I'll make sure the next time someone decides to use a phrase that I have, that I constantly demand perfection of their abilities through telepathic means, just for you"

    I do adore your witty yet extremely defensive way of taking criticism. It's one of those things I can't help but provoke. (Postmodern, I imagine you're in the same boat; though you have a tendency to be more abrasive.) You're a mix between offended and realizing that offence is totesly not sociopathic, so you throw in some bitter wittism. It's entertaining. I mean this in the most respectable way possible.

    ReplyDelete
  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Hey, Aerienne, that reminds me!

    Perhaps datamining/profiling and obsessive empaths aren't too distant. You guys seem to be just as capable of holding a vast amount of data on certain subjects of fixation, just like us. Isn't that cool? I think it is. I never though I'd find such a parallel between you and I.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oops, though should be thought. Must've got some bad coffee this morning, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  54. @ numbers ????? gag reflex has an excuse. i'm not sure that you do.

    ReplyDelete
  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I like your blog Res. Good luck with it.

    ReplyDelete
  57. "@2 - Whatever. I'm not obsessed or fixated and don't consider myself that empathetic."

    Let's see, I can understand why you reject those sentiments. But, alas, it was just an observation, Miss Aerienne. The reason you took it so offensively is beyond me. In no way, shape, or form did I say that the traits I was ascribing are bad. You assumed this, however. Which, of course, isn't my fault. I use words neutrallly, not emotionally-charged. Please do excuse me if I did offend you, however.

    ReplyDelete
  58. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  59. "@2 - Maybe I misunderstood. What did you mean by datamining and profiling?"

    Thank you.

    By datamining and profiling, I am referring to the collection of data on various persons, or subjects. This data can be collected via various outlets: Dataminer to subject communication, communication with subject's associated humans, finding the subject's works (as in, if theyre an artist or writer), and even social networking sites. There's actually more outlets, but I am trying to avoid a wall of text.

    Now, after you gather a sufficient amount of data, you can build a profile of the subject. That is essentially profilling. You simply take data gathered and create a description of the person's self-concept and attributes, sometimes these attributes are more than psychological.

    Essentially the point I was making is that I noticed you have quite a bit of data on your boyfriend and I was oblivious to the fact that even empaths do this, to a certain extent. It surprised me in a way, as I thought only psychopaths did it. I think, now, the only difference between psychopaths and empaths in this context is that empaths tend to have more data but a less concise profile, whereas psychopaths tend to have "just enough" and an extremely concise profile.

    ReplyDelete
  60. How come you guys are at such ease with how things are going around here.

    I was expecting more power struggles around here given that this is a sociopath blog.

    You all get along fine like this is Santa's village for Christ's sake. Why doesn't anybody fight?

    ReplyDelete
  61. there's nothing to fight about I guess. Not today anyway..well the day isn't over yet.

    Peace Mike!

    ReplyDelete
  62. "You all get along fine like this is Santa's village for Christ's sake. Why doesn't anybody fight?"

    Because we have a liking for civil discussion? Flamewars are everywhere on the internet, Michael. At this point of The Game, they bore me. I imagine it is the same for some of others here, or they're naturally predisposed to civil. In either case, horrah.

    ReplyDelete
  63. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  64. " The profiling, eh, always an open-ended data gathering being careful to draw no conclusions that I believe are set in stone"

    I once screwed up a game because a woman brought me lunch one day. It caught me off guard, as I hadn't thought she would do that. (it was au contraire to her profile) Turns out, I had false data the entire time.

    Suffice to say, that day I learned the fact profiles need to be filuidic in nature.

    ReplyDelete
  65. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  66. @Zed 11:13 AM
    Nothing personal taken. Thanks for the diagnose attempt. What happen to your name change? Would be cool if you turned out to be ME.

    ReplyDelete
  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  68. @gagreflex--lol! no. i'm not m.e. i'm just someone who floats around here. i enjoy your comments.

    ReplyDelete
  69. bloomin eck slow day here...

    @grace thanks, i really just want somewhere to put thoughts down; i'll not be shamelessly plugging it. but many thoughts will be stimulated by discussion here (and elsewhere) and my opinions are capable of changing after the fact (that's a post for another day!).

    @aerianne
    don't get me wrong, i value your input, but i can see how someone may think you are fixated on 'your socio' and learning what aspects of his life are socio traits (so you can forgive him for them?). you changed your handle to psychophant fer feck sake! :)
    2 obv touched a nerve and i love that you showed it without a second thought even on a socio site - it's good to have some unguarded empaths round these here parts for their view.

    so... (anyone) if you're alone in a town you'll never visit again and the service in a cafe was adequate but nothing special, would you tip?

    ReplyDelete
  70. yeah, i'd tip, but i'm tight. (me not socio).

    2, what did you assume about empaths beforehand? some are very obsessive. (i'm not talking about aerianne, but myself).

    I think Aerianne is perhaps just curious by nature.
    I think she's very open, but not obsessive. Am i wrong Aerianne?

    ReplyDelete
  71. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  72. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Zed, somebody said this was like a socio Petting Zoo. I think the mistake was entirely mine. I got too close to the Utan.

    notme, thanks for the love. I'll try,...just for you <3

    ReplyDelete
  74. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  75. "I tip in accordance with their service"
    what does that mean? if they simply do their job, and don't fuck it up and aren't extra helpful/friendly, what do they get? zero or what?
    btw is there a minimum wage law for waitresses in USA? was in canada recently and someone told me they were exempt...

    ReplyDelete
  76. i just googled it. the u.s. employer has to pay at least $2.13 an hour, but if the server's hourly take (tips plus basic wage) don't add up to the federal standards for minimum wage ($7.25,) the employer has to add in the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  78. This is sussudio, great great song, a personal favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  79. i realised i just lied. i sometimes don't tip at all, even if i know i'll be going back. in the UK you can get away with it. in big cities you take advantage of the general apathy and 'anonymity'.

    if it's a big meal, i'll tip. if it's a coffee, i don't.

    i worked as a barmaid/waitress and i considered tips a bonus. i never expected them. They made me all giddy! if i worked for tips i'd have gotten a better job. (plus we weren't meant to accept tips).

    res, that's funny. we neglected our customers. it was policy, sort of.~

    that's cool Gag. :)

    ReplyDelete
  80. I thought Res's write about evolution and the notion of special humanoid souls to be a rather humorous yet incisive commentary about our tenous hold to any meaning that define us as anything but maggot hatcheries.

    ReplyDelete
  81. notme at 3.01, stop, in the name of love, imitating me.

    pain in the arse.

    ReplyDelete
  82. cheers. i worked as a waiter for a while and did angle for tips. but my angle was to actually behave how they wanted me to - i.e. friendly but not for too long, constantly looking discretely at my tables to see if they were looking for attention. i got as much as the girls in short skirts. i guess the effortless superficial charm of the socio makes a good waiter ;)

    how about any other professions? taxis?

    ReplyDelete
  83. I always overtip. But I don't tip at Duncan Doughnuts or Starbucks..I always use by debit card so I never have cash. I stick to 20% when I have my hair done.

    ReplyDelete
  84. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  85. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  86. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I'll show you what a pain in the ass is :D

    ReplyDelete
  88. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  89. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Does anyone else here just go into restaurants and cafes, have something to eat and then walk out without paying the bill? I do it all the time now. It's surprisingly easy, especially when the places are busy.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Aerianne is dying for some psycho cawk. GTFO you sick fuck !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  92. no i wouldn't risk anything doing dumb stuff like that, plus I like taking out my wallet it's worth alot.

    ReplyDelete
  93. @aerienne i wonder what he does with them?

    ReplyDelete
  94. @anon 3:23. projection.

    ReplyDelete
  95. @mis
    not usually. have done, but generally i'm with someone so...
    i did once need feel the need to mess with a waiter who was pissing me off (i was alone) and so i told him i thought the food and surroundings were worth only half the bill. if you offer to pay something, the way the law works (in the UK) there is pretty much fuck all they can do except babble in a confused manner.

    ReplyDelete
  96. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  97. and aerianne, i consider tithing to a church a personal insult - you take that back, grrr!

    ReplyDelete
  98. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Res, do you think witt was a psychopath? He was batshit but was he psycho batshit?

    ReplyDelete
  100. I always burst out laughing when it's quiet a church, shits hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  101. witt was more like a BPD woman trapped in a man's body. i admire his approach to logic, rather than identify with his personality type.
    his whole family was completely batshit as you put it. all highly strung. most gay. most killed themselves. most brilliant (one continued to be a concert pianist after losing a hand).

    ReplyDelete
  102. "not usually. have done, but generally i'm with someone so..."

    I almost never pay when I'm alone and when I'm with other people, They always end up getting the bill. So I almost always eat out for free. It's funny though, because one time a waiter did spot me, but he didn't do anything. He just threatened to call the police, and I just said "I don't give a fuck, I'll be gone by then". If I were a waiter, and someone tried to make off without paying, I'd chase them down. People are so passive.

    ReplyDelete
  103. actually from what i remember witt's dad sounds a bit socio, but i read about his life and family a long time ago.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Very true, i think most of the families problems came from the father, he seemed like a raving narcissist, who set very high standards for his children.

    When children grow up in a strict abusive household like that they usually develop a borderline personality disorder.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Nah res, he was more so a narc.

    ReplyDelete
  106. I tried to read one of his works but it bored the crap out of me. :/

    ReplyDelete
  107. yeah narc - just refreshed a little. i first read all that about 15 years ago when i was less aware of neuro-diverse traits ;)

    a lot of the famous philosophers had v interesting lives. descartes is another good one.

    ReplyDelete
  108. People often say that narcs are fun to be around and the life of a party, but that couldn't be farther from the truth, when you look at some of these people they live incredibly dull lives, a true narc is like a sociopath, they dislike people, actually there was talks to have both disorders coined as the same thing as they are basically identical.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I'm not talking about your average narc who likes being around attractive people, i mean a destructive narc/malignant narc, i had the pleasure of meeting one of these demons, i can see him committing mass murder or something similar in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  110. never met a proper malignant narc. thought one of my friends was displaying those tendencies at one point but a heroin addiction gave a knock to his arrogance.

    going to bed.

    ReplyDelete
  111. @PMS: I know this is from a few days ago, but I've been reading posts and comments from the last week or so and came across one of yours, I believe it was on Lolita- do you think sociopathy can be comorbid with anxiety disorders? They seem mutually exclusive, since one comes with low arousal and the other with high. I'm curious as to what you think.

    As to this conversation, I tip, usually well. It can come in handy where you're a regular. Sometimes I tip when the service is bad if I think it was because of my age, since I do enjoy messing with people's perceptions. I don't know if this helps with your data since I'm not sure what I am.

    I know one person who I thought at the time was a sociopath but now think might have been a malignant narc, and he was the life of the party. He also emotionally tortured his girlfriends and freely admitted he might one day be a serial killer (the one thing that convinced me he wouldn't) and had a streak of insecurity. Even knowing what he was capable of, I found him strangely magnetic. I also enjoyed studying him from afar.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Anon at 3:36

    I mean this in the sincerest way without wanting to sound mean or anything at all. I have to ask you. Are you a mentally challenged person? It's ok if you are. I know a mentally challenged person that is a very sweet person and I try to treat her with respect.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Anon at 4.44

    SUCK MY HAIRY BALLSACK YOU PUSSY

    ReplyDelete
  114. Anon at 4:53
    Does that mean you are mentally challenged or not? It's nothing to be ashamed of if you are. All of us are challenged in one way or another if you think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Oh dear. I hope I haven't hurt the other anon's feelings. I really didn't mean to. I just thought if we understood them better then we could all be friends.

    ReplyDelete
  116. @SH: According to my reading, ASPD is often comorbid with a number of disorders, including anxiety disorders, depression, and the whole family of personality disorders.

    ReplyDelete
  117. pythias, I was wondering why you decided to get married and how you make it work?

    ReplyDelete
  118. ALLAH SNACKBAR!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  119. Yes, yes postmodern, being a sociopath is not all the glitz and glamor it is often attributed to.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Poor Anon at 5:42, I'm serious. I will be your friend. It seems like you need a friend.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I was wondering why you decided to get married and how you make it work?

    Non-married individuals are suspect. Other ladies would always be suspicious that I would be after their man and men would wonder why I couldn't land one of my own. People are always trying to "figure out" those that don't settle into societal norms. Also, there are many things that are just plain nice about having another person around you can call your own. It is quite convenient. Without a steady focus, I would tend to drift through guys, which would be bad in oh so many ways. I also have a tendency to drift through jobs, hobbies, and personas. This is not a very good way to be successful at anything in particular. My husband anchors me. I also get to live out some of my alternate career goals through him, so that is fun.

    How do I make it work? In the beginning I was overly wonderful (as usual). Instead of getting mad (since I don't naturally, anyway), I just explained in detail and calmly why he was wrong here or there. He'd understand and appreciate my not being a drama miss. I strongly encouraged him to be frank with me about any problems he had with me or my behavior. I don't use him as a play thing. We are very polite to each other even after many years and make a point to appreciate each other. Everyone around us tells me that we are the happiest married couple they know. My friends who are trying to elicit proposals point to our lives as how things can only get better.

    ReplyDelete
  122. 2 at 2:02 pm...

    You are total bs from head to toe. All those words and attempt to use technical jargon only to say empaths collet more data than socios but can't reach a concise profile, which is also bs.

    ReplyDelete
  123. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  124. My original post was eaten, so I apologize for a potential duplicate-ish post later..

    @2: I'm not being defensive of criticism if it's not criticism. Not only was there nothing critical in your comment, it was aimed at me for something someone else wrote (and admitted to here). It was a mis-aimed insult, in which you utterly failed. Nice try though. Actually... no. It wasn't. Just failure.

    @UKan: Check out the wiki article for Impression Management. Psychopaths are barely mentioned, and this first line of the article should be something you are constantly involved with on a daily basis.

    @ResCogitans: I tip 10% if the service was bad. 15-30% if it was good. I don't take for granted I'll never visit the place again, so I always tip if there's a waiter. I don't tip places where I have to wait/be in line for my food. That's just silly.

    @Aerianne: 20-30 times before legal age. About ten times since. I get around ;)

    ReplyDelete
  125. post, what's up with the picture change? Sorry if I missed a post where you explained the need for change.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Non-married individuals are suspect. Other ladies would always be suspicious that I would be after their man and men would wonder why I couldn't land one of my own. People are always trying to "figure out" those that don't settle into societal norms.


    Something sociopath/non-sociopath single females have in common.

    ReplyDelete
  127. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  128. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Something sociopath/non-sociopath single females have in common.

    Men, too.

    ReplyDelete
  130. I find it extremely difficult to form a relationship, but i understand the stigma attached to such people as myself, i abhor intimacy, and i am emotionally cold, so there are obvious reasons to why i can't form a relationship.

    Although i do not long for relationships with people, i don't focus on family relations nor any other, i treat people abusively, walk all over them and point out their weaknesses with sadistic pleasure.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Difficult to form a relationship, or unwillingness to form a relationship? Or both? Sounds slightly Schizoid.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I can form a relationship with ease and i have had many partners in the past, but in the end it had the same outcome.

    Ive been called an asshole, insensitive prick, every name in the book but i like it, i love to be hated, i would usually only form relationships with codependent type woman or "pushovers", i loved abusing them i can't lie, i stopped one from seeing her friends and i forced the others to do errands for me, and i was fairly physically abusive to boot.

    I agree with you though, i would have some schizoid traits.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Most "classical" (overt) narcissists are counterdependent. Their emotions and needs are buried under "scar tissue" which had formed, coalesced, and hardened during years of one form of abuse or another. Grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and overweening haughtiness usually hide gnawing insecurity and a fluctuating sense of self-worth.

    Counterdependents are contumacious (reject and despise authority), fiercely independent, controlling, self-centered, and aggressive. They fear intimacy and are locked into cycles of hesitant approach followed by avoidance of commitment. They are "lone wolves" and bad team players.

    Counterdependence is a reaction formation. The counterdependent dreads his own weaknesses. He seeks to overcome them by projecting an image of omnipotence, omniscience, success, self-sufficiency, and superiority.

    ReplyDelete
  134. "i treat people abusively, walk all over them and point out their weaknesses with sadistic pleasure."

    Not fun!

    Do you even like yourself? I mean how does someone who treats others this way feel about themselves?

    ReplyDelete
  135. anon 8.37

    so why is it said that Narcissists come from having been idolised as infants? you said they come from abuse. which one is it? i can somewhat see how abuse or insecurity would make a narc. (sort of) but i'd still like clarity.

    it's a funny one.

    what percentage of people are diagnosed as NPD i wonder?

    ReplyDelete
  136. NPD often roots in that, notme, but heavy narcissism is also seen in ASPD and SPD, both PDs with neglect as a common factor.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Notable,

    Is neglect an absolute prerequisite for ASPD?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Idk the narc is usually neglected or idolised as an infant, but there seems to be a dysfunctional relationship with the mother in most narcs, explainig why most despise woman. Exclusively speaking of a male narc.

    ReplyDelete
  139. ASPD can be inherited, genetically. Neglect however is extremely common, so much so that some psychologists theorized in the past that it was a universal denominator (but were wrong). Not far off, though.

    ReplyDelete
  140. i met one recently, (narcissist) before i ever knew about the connection it had with childhood and maternal/son relationships.

    He was hyper-dysfunctional in how he was with me. He said he wanted to kill all women, me included. sweet.
    But before this, i felt his childhood was the reason, but even asking a single question about it elicited no response. I assumed maybe he came from a big family and was neglected or something.

    i'll be honest, i think i can be a little bit N myself, except my empathy is intact. i think borderlines are a little bit of everything with extra va va voom on top, would you agree TNP? what mixture did your borderline have?

    ReplyDelete
  141. I can't understand hatred for all men/women. I can understand if they had a male/female figure that ruined their life, and the resentment that goes with it, though. I certainly can't empathize ;)

    Narcissism isn't all that uncommon. Pathological narcissism is a bit of a different story, though. Do you think you're narcissistic to a pathological extent?

    As for Borderlines being a little of everything, I really couldn't comment, as I don't know about all the PDs and how the correlate to BPD.

    I've been pegged for being cruel to women, when it reality, it's just flat cruelty, not using kid gloves on women, and they find that jarring. I can be a bit of a bastard to everyone.

    Do you want to be treated equally, or not? Because if you don't, I can oblige.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I can form a relationship with ease and i have had many partners in the past, but in the end it had the same outcome.

    Ive been called an asshole, insensitive prick, every name in the book but i like it, i love to be hated, i would usually only form relationships with codependent type woman or "pushovers", i loved abusing them i can't lie, i stopped one from seeing her friends and i forced the others to do errands for me, and i was fairly physically abusive to boot.


    Your a mommy's boy Hahaha.
    Do you think of mom when your having sex with a woman?

    ReplyDelete
  143. And you're a cunt. So that's about even.

    ReplyDelete
  144. 2 said...
    And you're a cunt. So that's about even.


    Are you his mother?

    ReplyDelete
  145. i think treating men and women differently is a well-honed act, nothing more.

    i'm complimentary to men and women. I like them both very much.
    And i'll be downright honest to both too if they step on my toes. I'm with you there Notable.

    but how can i not love men? jeez, that's like pissing on your own doorstep.

    What i found off-putting in the past, was women with what i call a 'masculine' sense of humour or demeanour. I was prepared to put up with jibes from men that i wasn't from women. I don't know why. I simply assumed that all women were soft and cuddly. lol, how naive. I then learnt that i also have a bit of that type of sense of humour too. which was weird to find out.

    no, not pathological narcissist Notable. just a bit. the obsession with image aspect. that's HPD, which is a little like NPD in ways.

    'As for Borderlines being a little of everything, I really couldn't comment, as I don't know about all the PDs and how the correlate to BPD.'

    go read!~

    ReplyDelete
  146. has anyone watched the video that was linked in last night's comments by anon 11:43? it was really fascinating: james fallon, a neuro-scientist who studies psychopathy/sociopathy spoke at length about his own genetic "soup," and of the unusual patterns seen in his own brain scans---both of which are extremely common among sociopaths.

    he not only came from a long line of killers, but according to his brain scans, his orbital cortex (responsible for ethical choices, roughly) is "off," while his dorsal lateral pre-frontal cortex ("cold" cognition and logic) is full on.

    he doesn't have tendencies towards physical or emotional violence---he believes this is because he wasn't abused or neglected, and these things must be present in order to trigger aggressive behavior in someone who has the above traits.

    interesting because the "cold" cognition/logic portion of the brain is so developed, and i've noticed that tendency here--a number of mathematicians, scientists, etc. of course, fallon himself is a neuro-scientist.

    i think when people say things like "i'm a collection of scar tissue," they're right on. i really don't think we (socio's, other pd's) were born to be violent--i think we were born to be extremely logical and rational, somewhat less connected so that we could get things done with all that "tech sense"---intense emotions are distracting. but i really don't think violence is a part of the genetic make-up.

    i have no idea where the conversation is by now--but i thought i'd throw this in for anyone who might be interested.

    ReplyDelete
  147. A more detailed article.

    Fourteen years ago, she was walking through a small park at 10pm, when a man beckoned her over to a bench. As she approached, he pulled her down stuck a knife to her throat and said, “I’m going to cut you, bitch!” SM didn’t panic; she didn’t feel afraid. Hearing a church choir sing in the distance, she confidently said, “If you’re going to kill me, you’re gonna have to go through my God’s angels first.” The man let her go and she walked (not ran) away. The next day, she returned to the same park.
    These sorts of things happen to her a lot. It’s not that SM has had a cosseted life. She lives in a poor area “replete with crime, drugs and danger”. As Feinstein writes, “she has been held up at knife point and at gun point, she was once physically accosted by a woman twice her size, she was nearly killed in an act of domestic violence, and on more than one occasion she has been explicitly threatened with death.” But in most of these situations, she didn’t act with urgency or desperation, something that police reports have corroborated.
    It’s not that she doesn’t understand the concept of fear; after all, she knew that other people might be scared by the films she saw. However, she has a lot of problems with detecting danger. In a previous study, the team showed that she has no personal bubble. She’ll happily stand a foot away from complete strangers, far closer than most people would be comfortable with (even though, again, she understands the concept of personal space). It’s no surprise that she gets herself into a lot of difficult situations.
    It’s fascinating how this looks to other people. A few years back, the team asked two clinical psychologists to interview SM without any knowledge of her condition. They described her as a “survivor”, as “resilient” and even “heroic” in how she coped with adversity. If you ask the woman herself, she’ll say that she feels upset or angry in the face of danger, but never fearful. Feinstein even thinks that because of her brain damage, she could be immune to posttraumatic stress disorder, a trait that she shares with some combat veterans.

    ReplyDelete
  148. i'd love some of that treatment. why can't they remove my amygdala?
    would be handy sometimes.

    Zed, that was interesting. thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  149. A more detailed article.

    Fourteen years ago, she was walking through a small park at 10pm, when a man beckoned her over to a bench. As she approached, he pulled her down stuck a knife to her throat and said, “I’m going to cut you, bitch!” SM didn’t panic; she didn’t feel afraid. Hearing a church choir sing in the distance, she confidently said, “If you’re going to kill me, you’re gonna have to go through my God’s angels first.” The man let her go and she walked (not ran) away. The next day, she returned to the same park.
    These sorts of things happen to her a lot. It’s not that SM has had a cosseted life. She lives in a poor area “replete with crime, drugs and danger”. As Feinstein writes, “she has been held up at knife point and at gun point, she was once physically accosted by a woman twice her size, she was nearly killed in an act of domestic violence, and on more than one occasion she has been explicitly threatened with death.” But in most of these situations, she didn’t act with urgency or desperation, something that police reports have corroborated.
    It’s not that she doesn’t understand the concept of fear; after all, she knew that other people might be scared by the films she saw. However, she has a lot of problems with detecting danger. In a previous study, the team showed that she has no personal bubble. She’ll happily stand a foot away from complete strangers, far closer than most people would be comfortable with (even though, again, she understands the concept of personal space). It’s no surprise that she gets herself into a lot of difficult situations.
    It’s fascinating how this looks to other people. A few years back, the team asked two clinical psychologists to interview SM without any knowledge of her condition. They described her as a “survivor”, as “resilient” and even “heroic” in how she coped with adversity. If you ask the woman herself, she’ll say that she feels upset or angry in the face of danger, but never fearful. Feinstein even thinks that because of her brain damage, she could be immune to posttraumatic stress disorder, a trait that she shares with some combat veterans.

    ReplyDelete
  150. My long post disappeared, the reappeared, then disappeared again.

    Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  151. haha. i know how that feels.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Feeling Aspergery and random lately so I'm just going to mention that I tried watching The Walking Dead and that show sucks.

    Watched the first season of Breaking Bad yesterday. Goddamn that show is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Ah yeah lunar eclipse right now.

    I can't see shit for the rain and clouds.

    ReplyDelete
  154. i'll be gone for the next few days so if anyone called notme shows up from today, then it ain't me.

    merry christmas everyone! :)

    ReplyDelete
  155. It would seem that anything more than a decent sized paragraph with a link attached gets flagged for spam. Just a heads up.

    Not being able to feel, or understand that a situation warrants fear, can be lethal.

    @Zed: I've read about that before, which is why I decided not to watch it. It's interesting to speculate, but then again, you're taking the word of someone who has the classic physiological brain attributes of a psychopath :) I could tell you anything I wanted, and even if you were my friend or family member, you might (and probably wouldn't) know any better.

    It's certainly possible to not be physically or psychologically abusive with ASPD, but it's not terribly fun...

    Merry Christmas, notme! See you around.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Sigh. You all became instantly and hopelessly off topic as usual. And I am still interedsted in the developmental variations in small town sociopathic tendancies. The environmental role on the development of sociopathic traits would vary dramatically on a smalltown sociopath. I know none of you are prone to divulging details, except aerianne of course, but if you could post some numbers, like the amount of people in the city you greww up in and your family situation. Maybe a bit about your neighborhood community and the escape methods you had as a child to get away from your parents or pressures.
    On another not. 2 your idicoy amuses me.
    Aerianne, be careful. These people might find you amusing to pick apart soon, though your openness currently makes it a boring opportunity.

    Otherwise you're all completelydisinterested in this topic and thereby making it impossible to get any valuable information on the underlying developmental factors of the environment on sociopathic traits. I would think it would be a great opportunity to further relate to each other.

    ReplyDelete
  157. 1200 people, as I said. Parents divorced when I was young. Especially rural, so little in the way of neighborhood community. Escape methods were minimal.

    ReplyDelete
  158. So your homelife was particularly centeered at home. Having no ability to escape you developed sociopathic traits as a defense mechanism to your lack of control over your environement.
    Would you say.
    So is sociopathy than linked to seeing the disadvantages of emotions in the control and manipulation of your environmental factors? Are sociopaths controlling and manipulative of emotions as a safety measure? And do they not have emotions because they easily see the "weakness" or maleability of peoples emotional responses?

    ReplyDelete
  159. To the first part, I wouldn't say that, no. I can't remember really feeling "trapped" until my teens, long after obvious antisocial behavior began.

    To the second part:

    I wouldn't say so, perhaps, and absolutely not, respectively. I certainly have emotions, if a bit muted or existing on a more narrow continuum than others. This perception of the robotic sociopath is a product of sad little goth kids, not reality.

    ReplyDelete
  160. To see the advantages to controlling your own and others responses to emotions is not robotic, its powerful. And stress levels in childhood are not a conscious thing, they naturally develop into defensible responses without necessarily feeling that way. Living in a rural area so small with so few outside interactions is being trapped. You don't have to feel that way for it to socially be the case. did you have adequate space or privacy? Expression? Interaction outside of your family? And did your divorce uproot your sense of stability?

    And on a side note. I wish I had as little to do as all of you. I fall so far behind so quickly on these conversationts while I go to work, and before I know it the comment section is filled with tedious cultural questions regarding the tipping appropriateness of different countries. I'm already almost bored again of this site.

    ReplyDelete
  161. So than there is no logical environmental reasoning for the development of your sociopathic personality. In which case it doesn't make sense that you exhibit them at all. People don't develop abnormalities like that unless it instinctively makes sense from the standpoint of survival or meeting your motivational needs. You're suggesting that your sociopathy stems from no such motivations. Or are you suggesting that those needs stem from elsewhere? If your motivation for sociopathy is not environmental, what then are your motivations.
    This is beginning to feel like my drama class.

    ReplyDelete
  162. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  163. @Snugglie;
    I do wish there's more respond to your interest in this aspect of sociopathy form the "genuines" here, as I am particularly keen to learn more about the nature Vs nurture arguments.

    Though may not always agree, I find your commentaries and developing arguments sufficiently fresh to be curious.

    I can vouch for my anti-socialness but not sociopathy. Not to insist on the relevance, but I am curious if you have any views about my postulation of socio-historical factors in my comments here.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Daima güncel
    Hd Film izle , Full HD film izle ,
    Tek Part Film izle , Türkçe Dublaj Film izle ,
    Belgesel izle , 3d film izle ve benzeri katagorilerde
    film izleyebileceğiniz en iyi adrestesiniz.En iyi yerli filmlerin hd kalitede bulabileceğiniz ve türkçe dublaj film izleyerek keyifli zaman geçirebileceğiniz bir film sitesi üzerinde çalıştığımızı ve sizler için en iyi aksiyon filmleri izleyebileceğiniz güzel bir site yapmaya çalıştığımızı belirtmek isterim. Kaliteli animasyon filmleri izleyebileceğiniz ve en önemlisi tek part film izleyebileceğiniz bir sistem kurmanın gururunu yaşadığımızın bilincindeyiz. Keyifli zamanlar geçirmeniz dileğiyle.

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.