Monday, December 31, 2012

Chew toys

A reader asks:
Do you like to be the boss in relationships? What I mean by that is do you respect boundaries at all for instance, open others mail, walk into the bathroom on somebody, check cell phones, hide things, lock doors and have the only key, that kind of thing. What the hell is that anyway? I thought it was insecurity.
My response:
I don't like to be the boss in relationships. I like to be in relationships with equals in power. I don't like to run all over people, but I do like playful sparring, people who act slightly difficult with me, people who need me to win their devotion again and again. I need stuff to do, stuff to think about. I grind my teeth at night, and without the little plastic guard I'd grind my teeth away. That's how I feel about relationships. I grind on them the same way I grind on everything else in life, so I like it when the people I'm with give me a chew toy -- rather than letting me chew on their favorite shoe.

55 comments:

  1. "i don't like to run all over people, i like playful sparring, people acting slightly difficult with me, requiring me to win their devotion again and again. i need stuff to do, stuff to think about."

    Yes ME, it sounds terribly tempting, but will you still love me, will you still want me, when I'm 64?
    luv lucy xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree. I like that my boyfriend saved the deepest, darkest criminal exploits of his career in crime until 7 years into the relationship. Leave it to a sociopath to keep those things to himself.
    I get bored in relationships as well. Or the other person figures out I have neither the willingness or the ability to look at how my actions affect others emotionally, and abandons the friendship. I'm picky about relationship and hold the belief that it's no fun doing battle with an unarmed man. Sure, simple people ate entertaining short-term, but I grow weary of them quickly. I prefer someone equally matched, who I can actually have a battle of wits with, who doesn't say things like, "How'd you get so smart?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're a fucking idiot, Wildchildgirly.

    I hope your sociopath boyfriend skullfucks you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I like my sociopath relationship that way too. I love sparring matches and debates, but I find that nothing matters to sociopaths so debates get a little overrated and become games. I prefer the subtle approach. Implications that draw their thought patterns into a direction. Not manipulating, but playing the same way. Someone always has to be in control in a relationship, but the other person should have to take it... No, earn it. One person should submit something and the other should earn... ANd it can go either way depending on what needs to be done. A relationship should always be mutual... EVen with a sociopath.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Daft,

    Great minds think alike = )

    And, who cares whether or not her sociopath is gonna fuck with her head, or not.

    Likely, she'll die of gonorherpessyphilaids.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "people who need me to win their devotion again and again."

    I need people to prove it they are worthy of my devotion.

    i forget they proved it yesterday and they have to do it again. With feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha "you see, i have this memory thing..."

      Delete
  8. I love M.E's response--LOL

    Ellicit
    I have a question for you since I respect your opinion. You said that some people should not/could not do certain types of "healing". You said it was fine for neurotic people, but not those with severe, severe disassociation. You have seen me over a period of time, on here. Where do you think I am, along this spectrum? Thanks a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are where you think you are, Monica. No more in severe dissociation, living in a psychic world of neurotic imagination. In short, you can do whatever you want to do and you can be whatever you want to be. Why are you so needy to hear others' opinions? Because you don't want to ask mommy anymore? It's time you grab it by the balls.

      Delete
    2. Fake UKan, I like how you say things straight and I like the Fake Regulars series. If you do me, just don't make me a ho.

      Delete
    3. Fake UKan
      I am in the process of taking my power back. I had the one woman who I decided I did not want to be friends with, just business associates, come over today. I felt very guilty, but I forced myself to keep my stand. I was friendly, but cool and made it known I did not want to chit-chat etc. I feel very uncomfortable making choices, standing by them and not caring if someone will like me or think I am a "bad" person.

      Delete
    4. Monica told me some time ago that she only ever comments from her blogger account.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. How long did you sleep?

      Delete
    2. Well, I went to bed around 11 pm last night and woke up every 2 hours until 6am this morning..... I dont know why but the last 2 days my sleep has been very disrupted.

      Delete

  10. Watch for the New Regulars Series, starting today. There may be a few classics thrown in, too.

    Happy New Year from Themes.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. LOL! Thank you for the Themes, Themes!!!!

      How are you? What r u doing for the new year? Drinking?

      Delete
    2. Hi Rich! I am going to spend the night with family. Thank you for all the joy you bring to SW( and the great material for themes :D )

      Delete
    3. :) Thank you for all the laughs Themes!!!! I'll be doing the same, just with some drinks too :)

      Delete
  12. Have grace, show grace, have a wonderful New Year, SW.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J85ateFsL1Y

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's that time of year again for failed resolutions and more potentially failed relationships. How's everyone doing tonight? Fun and exciting plans?


    I need a challenge in a relationship. If the person doesn't provide it naturally, I make my own challenge. Amusingly this is often not intentionally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing fun and exciting, just dinner and drinks with family!

      I do look forward to some good failed resolutions and failed relationships this next coming year though ;)

      Delete
  14. I need help. I kind of made my peace with my mother, as I see she was disassociated and could not really act "right", so to speak . I don't really need to talk about that.

    I realize how much I hate my mother for allowing my mother to be so abusive and never standing about. He is a wimp. Now, he wants me to help him and give him all sorts of advice because they can see I have changed. I am very angry at him. I feel guilty because he is older and not in great health. I am staying away from calling him, until I can come to some sort of peace about what to do. Part of me wants to be gut level honest. The other part thinks I should not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I meant "father". Darn subconscious.

      Delete
    2. Interesting! I thought u meant you made peace with your mother, have you ever?

      PS- Your parents arent still together are they?

      Why do you think you should hold back on the honestly? Do you think it may be too much for him to bear at his old age/ health status?

      Delete
    3. I made peace with my mothers. She apologized and we made peace. Yes, I feel his health status is not good, and I don't want to put more stress on him. My parents are still together.

      Delete
  15. Bored. Should New Year celebrations excite me? It just feels dull to wait for another day like it would matter. Heh, life appears to be much easier for simple-minded fools. Too bad I'm just a fool.

    On a happier not, I managed to put myself in some sort of empathy few times in the past two weeks. For example, then I was ordering coffee at the local coffee store I started to examine waitress and to think how she might see her surroundings. Meh, after writting that I no longer think that it was anything but speculations and my imagination. But it effects the way I see the world, tho.

    - Too cool to be named

    ReplyDelete
  16. To the socios...do the people in your relationships know your "status" so to speak?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ofc not what's the fun in that

      Delete
    2. nothing more fun than telling someone you are a sociopath than nearly convincing them and leaving them to be gues for ever

      Delete
  17. @Nicole
    I'm curious
    Do the people in your relationship know your "status?"

    ReplyDelete
  18. The lies in her childhood were like Ramen Noodles, but they were in sheets so large that you needed a forklift to move them. Ramen Noodles took on a life of their own, when you added water. They resembled parasites, pickled in large glass jars, in the biology lab. The parasites wound around each other. They looked like coiled snakes. You thought about where they were in your own body: what they were crowding out, perhaps. You knew they populated in a funky way. They could make dozens at a time, if not more.

    Lies had to be blasted, as in sidewalk repair. You had to have your own form of blasting, such as running into a brick wall, head first. It was winner take all, or loser take eternity. Lies were like the Russian mafia. They played for keeps.

    ReplyDelete
  19. ramen noodles haha!

    ReplyDelete
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