Thursday, February 26, 2015

20 Rules for young sociopaths

A young self identifying sociopath wrote this list of rules for young sociopaths based on personal experience:

1.  Never be open about cheating for even the smallest of favors, like copying: Keep it occasional and involve as few people as possible. If other people want to cheat, put on a facial expression of slight disagreement (usually that means just look down, but keep head upright.) This is just based on other peoples reactions to me offering to cheat.

2.  Learn all the basic manners through books like Dale Carnegie's books. Also, basic manners too like washing hands in bathroom, not picking nose, saying bless you, saying thank you.

3.  Never disagree with anyone unless it is necessary. In fact, adopt those values. BUT DO NOT DO IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY DISCLOSE IT. It is much more impressive and much less suspicious if you wait to show them with your actions that you have adopted their values. Patience is key.

4.  When trying to seduce someone in opening stage, always have a REASON to talk to them. Then, get them to do a favor for you. While they do that favor for you, start asking them questions about themselves that lead to conversation.

5. Always expose yourself to other well-adjusted sociopaths to learn from them (I am very good at profiling people's personalities: includes identifying sociopaths). What I've been doing is just doing my best to befriend them, and watch how they interact with their friends. No better way than to learn from the master.

6. If possible, seek help from sociopathic relative. There has to be one if you're a sociopath. It's my dad in this case. Of course, remain discreet. My dad always knew i was a sociopath and I hinted to him that i was self-aware. so he gave me some pointers.

7. Watch your tone of voice: Keep it soft. I learned that from reading Devil in the White City (the sociopath was described as having a very soft voice that appealed to people).

8. When smiling, mirror them. Smile when they do. The exception is greeting people. The smile should not be a big cheeky one unless they have one on their face too. I happen to be able to consciously control most muscles on my face that most people can't (I can make a Duchenne smile, raise the inner corners of my eyebrows without moving my entire eyebrow to indicate the universal expression of sadness, etc.) Sorry, I digress.

9. Never brag like I did in this post many times earlier (feel free to remove those parts. I'm too lazy to delete and too eager to impress). If complimented, which happens occasionally, show no reaction, especially embarrassment. When i see people respond with embarrassment to my compliments, I see them as weak.

10. When other people wrong you, don't react with criticism. They will see you as a good, tolerant person. Don't tell them it's okay either, that encourages the behavior. Just nod or show no reaction. Move the conversation forward-most people will feel guilty on their own. Criticism just makes them defensive and they rationalize instead. Act forgiving, but do not vocalize it. Do this by just ignoring the transgression completely. This will intrigue them even more.

11. Learn to fake empathy. To do that, realize what empathy is and what it is not. I used to have trouble making people feel better because i was sympathizing with them. I don't know what it feels like, but apparently just telling them somehow that you feel their pain is enough.

12. When approaching someone you don't already know, approaching from the side and come prepared with an opener question, usually related to the situation. And whatever they say they are doing, say you are doing the exact same thing (doesn't work in some cases, duh). This kind of creates an initial bond, which is just small enough to launch more personal questions.

13. Keep observing people's reactions to things and adjust accordingly. Some reactions are almost universal, so should become a part of your repertoire. 

14. When someone makes a joke, just laugh. Don't come up with another joke that springs off theirs if u don't genuinely find their joke funny.

15. Never, ever stare too long a people's faces. Learned this one the hard way. Occasionally, look up to gauge their reactions if u see through your peripheral vision that their expression has changed. I usually can see out of the sides of my eyes that their expression has changed, but I can't see how it has changed.

16. Always practice a new expression you are learning to fake in front of a mirror. I spent a few hours practicing my smile and timing it correctly after I failed the first time. The timing and depth of the expression must be appropriate. If you sense awkwardness, its your fault. 

17. I observed at first that people who laughed were more charismatic, so I started doing it a lot too. However, i got a lot of weird looks. Always wait from them to laugh first and then mirror them. Otherwise, risk laughing inappropriately. Once in class movie, a boy got shot in the knee and i started laughing because the boy did stupid things to deserve it. Apparently, no one else found it funny. 

18. Some young sociopaths have a tendency to be too nice, so they come off as obsequious. Don't keep offering to help them. It needs to be strategic and meaningful to them. So wait for them to ask you or if you observe cues in their body language that might signal their needs. Wait until they are down and help them up, but always pretend to empathize with them first.

19. Learn strategic complimenting. Young sociopaths are way too flattering. When you gather intel about someone and you observe that they have a trait they are proud of, don't compliment too much on it immediately. Just ask questions to seem interest and also act interested. However, later through your interactions, solicit advice related to their particular strength or just casually mix the compliment in with something else

20. Eliminate all "awkward sounds" from your repertoire. These are sounds coming out of your mouth that serve no purpose in communicating your ideas and make you look like an unsocialized person (and therefore not charming). This takes some work to do. Silence is preferable.


  1. Replies
    1. Yeah her name is Jamie Lund. Search on google.

  2. Are there anymore posts like on the site or has anyone got any links or other rules?

    These are some great rules, I've noticed some mistakes which I've been working on but others I didn't realise until reading this. In particular the staring it's great for fending off more senior people I work with, but when it comes to relationships it gets picked up and not always in a positive light. I always practice in my mind how to fake empathy and distress but actually putting the time into using a mirror to get it right is a simple but perfect idea.

    Recommendation to Younger Sociopaths:
    Also I'd recommend to younger sociopaths to get a customer service job of some sorts which requires constant interaction with people, it'll sharpen your game, I found mine improved my ability to small talk (something I have no time for) and also to read people body language faster than I did before. I now work in professional services and I use these skills every day, I'm good at my job but I get better performance ratings than I should because I can control the optics and charm people

    1. I agree with the customer service experience. Been there, done that. I think it's also good to have a little narcissism in these situations. Use people as narcissistic supply to where you actually enjoy the interactions, but be self-aware so that you won't actually give a shit if it goes badly.

      On another note, I'm 25, and I've been fucked by some work application personality quizzes. It's a big fucking game against a computer, but I sometimes struggle with not sounding like a goddamn sociopath. Anyone have any tips? Such as a persona to adopt?

    2. Answer the way Ned Flanders form The Simpsons would respond. You only have to remember a few things and you'll come off as a totally grounded person.

    3. I can't. I cannot deal with the public without eventually wanting to eviscerate someone. Honestly? I was the _worst_ waitress imaginable. Heaven help anyone who came around too close to closing time, and had the audacity to order a pizza!

      I was ten times worse as a barmaid. We're talking uber-bitch from hell. Had to be, in order to keep all those lecherous men in their place. :P

      Customer service is not my thing.

    4. @Socio Next Door
      @Damaged - exactly right

      Personality Tests:
      I've done and passed those tests multiple times, they're common for the professional services jobs I've applied for and got. I found it useful to study those tests as we would do a person and then putting on the veil of their ideal candidate. I've also found it easier if for the moment you're doing it to you fully believe that you are that person and act in everyway you think they would. Keep thinking what would their ideal candidate say (It probably won't be perfect but even the ideal candidate doesn't get it perfect).

      1. Do as many of the online personality tests as possible out there (the idea is to get an understanding of the tests and how they work and you can influence them)
      2. Research how personality test are performed anyone you know who does psychology in the later years of their degree is a great start. They'll tell you if you know what the test is looking for you can see what to say.
      3. Be aware of questions that are looking for the same trait i.e. 2 question can be 30 questions apart but they are asking about your view on ethics (adopting a persona for the test is useful here, it'll reduce the amount of memory you have to use)
      4. Resist the urge to brag an be yourself, this is the hardest part, when you brag (or I should say I brag) I let out my true self which can be far too calculating and the concept of ethics is murky.

      Hope these tips help

    5. Thanks Anon. I did get a call for the interview so it did work itself out. I'm well versed in personality types/Jungian function and I try to channel how an ISTJ thinks because the are probably the most grounded and rational (normal). I'm just not sure if companies review the results and expect me to act that way in the interview which might makes my answers inconsistent.

      Another question: Anybody out there doing contract work. It strikes me as an ideal job for a sociopath, because you don't have to lie about being able to work long-term. I'm just wondering if anyone has had success with making a career out of it? I might have a chance to do a 6 month stint in another city but I wonder if that will shoot me in the foot, resume-wise?

    6. It depends on which field you're in. If you're in IT, working contracts is fine. If they ask why just say that the money was good. If they ask why you want a full time job, tell them that you're tired of going from job to job and are looking for something more stable.

    7. What is your line of work? If you're in IT, you can easily subsist on short and/or long term contracts without worrying about "shooting yourself in the foot", because this professional lifestyle is very common, particularly amongst programmers. There are many sites which permit individuals to find contract work from home, or on-location, all over the world, providing interesting opportunities for travel and adventure. You can exercise your desire to be spontaneous, and avoid long-term commitments in which you are gradually transformed into a peon in someone else's corporate agenda.

      I'd say contract work is ideal for sociopathic types, because it is a professional orientation that empowers us to work autonomously, avoid the boredom associated with routine, and encourages us to think from an entrepreneurial perspective.

      However, our propensity to be undisciplined and irresponsible can work to our detriment if we require being accountable to outside sources in order to persist in tasks, which can hinder our ability to establish our own successful business endeavours, independently.

      I struggle a lot with procrastination, and a tendency to fluctuate from a state of hyper-productivity, to abject laziness and inattentiveness, when it really isn't appropriate.

  3. In case you don't see my messages in the previous post, I am also posting them on here.

    For Anonymous (at 6:52 AM) Mask of Sanity: Homosexuality and Sex

    You should not write these types of messages, because there is someone else on here (not me) who misinterprets them (as a delusion/illusion, as it happened, for instance, on G+). While you meant your message in a strictly funny or farcical way, it was not taken as such by this other person, and this is not the only message of this nature. Unfortunately, not everybody understands reality as it is. I hope that you're able to discern my meaning in this situation.

    For Anonymous (at 6:52 AM)

    I don't know whether you're doing this to be funny, to engage in a farce or to play with someone's mind (of course, not referring to myself), but, as I said, unfortunately, not everybody understands reality as it is, and you should be mindful and aware of that when writing your messages.

  4. More like: how to be a people pleasing doormat bitch.

    1. Now now, anon. Life is much easier when people like you. Because I am charming, I can openly mock people to their face without being hated. It's because people think I'm funny and know "I don't mean it". I do mean it, of course, but I don't "feel" anything about my sentiments. Best of both worlds: I get to tear someone down and people like me for it. If they're a friend, I'll build them back up because I don't like broken toys.

    2. Have you ever considered that this may be your dysfunctional way of expressing intimacy? Do you feel an affinity for the ones your break down and build up? A bond, of sorts? By this, I don't mean that you necessarily get attached to them in the conventional sense.

      I do both as well. I derive great satisfaction from both- although I do try to curb my sadism for the sake of others. This can be trying, especially on social media. Sometimes I just rip into those who need to be kept in their place. These folks tend to avoid me thereafter.

      Also, your "broken toys" analogy is stupid, and belies your lack of social finesse. Jussayin'.

    3. A, it's not that you put people in their place. That is just in your "imagination." They avoid you when seeing that you have mental issues, which is evident about you in these posts.

    4. A, I view most people as simple objects to interact with. My friends are my favorite objects that I have bonded with. As a kid, I took care of my action figures and had my favorite ones to play with. I live vicariously through them sometimes as I convince them to pursue jobs or women that I think they should have. I love the power and my persuasion causes them to find fulfillment in their lives, I guess? A part of them is an extension of myself and I prefer they be stable/successful. To any empath reading this, I think that's as close to love as your going to find, so thank your sociopath friend when you get the chance.

      I do agree with Anon. Don't delude yourself into thinking you put someone in their place. Rip into someone because "fuck them" and it's funny. I'm a sociopath, but I recognize that I'm not that important to the world and that's a relief, because I don't want that responsibility. I'll let narcs be the social-setting monitors and I'll just laugh at how awkward those situations get.

    5. "I recognize that I'm not that important to the world and that's a relief, because I don't want that responsibility."

      I am with you - it's more fun to bust out the popcorn and watch the fireworks. ...especially if you got them started...

      Having said that I have been known to enjoy a good throw down from time to time.

    6. You don't understand. I was thinking of certain male cousins, specifically. Some people need to be put in their place, or they'll step all over you. This is particularly true in my family, which is populated by several antisocial types.

      I debate well. I've had to publically shut them up, on occasion. But I can take what I dish. I enjoy confrontation.

      I relate to what you mean in terms of people being "extensions of yourself". I also love that power of persuasion. It drives me, and helps me to be a good leader. But without an explanation, your analogy comes off as trite.

    7. HLHaller, a good throwdown where the other person is emotional and I can predict their moves is great. I'd personally would not want to throw down with another sociopath, because I think the only solutions are mutual respect or having to murder them (get murdered).

      A, it looks like we did take it out of context. I too, enjoy the power of persuasion, but I enjoy the power of independence most. I don't know your family situation, but I don't know why you spend time with your male cousins if it's a chore.

    8. I don't see them often. Once or twice a year at most, at family functions- but they occasionally start wars on social media. (I won't block them. They're family, and blood is thicker than water. But they've blocked me for periods, ha ha!)

      The last time one of them visited, we started debating about something. Now this is a guy who gets personally offended and hyper-emotional when you disagree with him about anything. He is a drama king. My coolness frustrates him to no end, and it is fun to push his triggers. Admittedly, it amuses me to watch him get all riled up. :D

      Anyway, he called me a derogatory name, and it turned into a ridiculous fiasco in which I had to step in and physically stop my geriatric father from attempting to strangle him. My husband then proceeded to kick him out on his ass.

      He left late at night, so I followed him along in my car as he spewed obscenities at me, to make sure he didn't get hit by oncoming vehicles, giggling at the hilarity of it all. This, of course, only served to piss him off even more. Good times!~

  5. Yes. Because everybody knows how sociopaths are so very fond of and good at following rules.~ :D

  6. I actually found some of these helpful. I'm slightly to be considered 'young', but I feel like I'm still learning the game myself. Probably because, as tip #6 points out, I never had anyone growing up to learn all this off of.

  7. I would say that after impulse control, learning manners and good communication skills (verbal and non-verbal) are probably the most useful to getting through life.

    I see manners as a sort of "Rules of Interaction." If you know the rules then you are in control of when you are breaking them and the effect it will have on people. It's not so much to always be the model of manners, but I find that it helps me to mirror people - a sort of catalog of behaviors and what most people expect, if you will. I can scan through basics quickly and decide on the level of formality to present. If I'm in a position of authority (or seeking it), being on the formal side is seen as mature. But, if I need to be "on of the guys," I dial it back.

    I have a wonderful book I've used for years when doing international work: Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands - it's a simple set of rules and basics for setting the appropriate tone (good or bad - if you know the rule, you can use it as a weapon).

    Understanding communication is important for constructing the masks/personas/whatever that we use to get by. I took an interpersonal communication class as a teen. Mom needed it for some certification and it sounded interesting - boy oh boy was it. We learned active listening and context and, again, what the rules and expectations are. If you can do this with another self aware sociopath, all the better (mom was a Queen Bee BPD - the conversations after class were, in hind sight, about how to wield what we learned as weapons, though she would deny it if you could ask her if she was BPD).

    Maintaining a clean reputation is also helpful - not being the target of suspicion makes it easier to move around unnoticed. If you are the person everyone looks at first when something if wrong, you will be tap dancing through life. That looks tiring to me.

    1. I agree with your ideas on impulse control, along with learning manners and good communication skills. While impulse control is hard for some people to learn, especially those with BPD, it can be invaluable in life.

      Knowing the rules and understanding communication is a lifelong learning experience. I would like to give you an example about impulse control and manners which has made me think about some important things, and I hope that it does the same for you. I had a married acquaintance, and, in turn, he had a friend who was unmarried. For the purpose of clarifying things, let’s call the married acquaintance John and his unmarried friend Mike. There were some issues with Mike, some which had to do with delusions and, consequently, not always being able to tell the difference between what was real and what was not. John would constantly and persistently tell Mike that he loved him (daily/nightly), and being delusional in some areas of his life including love matters/matters of the heart, Mike’s issues became more serious as he began thinking that John was saying that he loved him as more than just a friend. Then, which was one more thing that I found very strange, when Mike would mention a woman or say that he was talking to one, John would act very edgy and abusive toward him (he even called him a whore and bullied him on many occasions). When thinking of this problem, I figured that John’s edginess and abusive language/behavior stemmed from something else, as in being highly possessive of his friend. Granted, John was married and, naturally, was not interested in Mike in anything beyond friendship, but there was the unhealthy, persistent and unrelenting possessiveness issue which led Mike to believe in his delusion/illusion created by John that there was more to it. In addition to being possessive, John would also joke and play around about love and sex when communicating with Mike, which made it seem as though there were no boundaries in place. Mike even mentioned divorce in a comment to John, which should have acted as a strong indication to John that his thinking and behavior were unhealthy to himself, his marriage/his partner and Mike. In essence, John thought that constantly telling Mike that he loved him would keep Mike away from someone else, which was obviously wrong because Mike needed to be loved by a partner who would be more than just his friend. Psychologically, both friends had to realize some important things and reassess their thinking and behaviors.

    2. Continued...

      I also understood that John was impulsive in his possessiveness (both forms of it, including the love and the edgy/abusive language and behavior), which he had to work on and realize that just as he had a partner to love and be intimate with in real life/physically/in person, Mike needed one as well. What’s more, the two worked together on a project, which augmented John’s possessiveness. Having said that, John had to stop creating the continuous illusion in Mike’s head, which, in turn, would have put an end to Mike’s delusion (John had to really realize this by truly understanding and accepting that Mike had mental issues, and some things affect other in ways that might not seem apparent or serious when, in fact, they are). While it's nice to care about a friend, especially one in need, there are other ways to support or encourage a friend besides telling him persistently that he is loved (an illusion of it as perceived by Mike). On John’s side, he had to understand that everyone deserves to be happy and loved by a partner (intimately and affectionately), that an illusion can’t possibly take the place of it (there is nothing else on earth like real love and physical intimacy), and that would have helped him with becoming mentally healthy. So, while this might have seemed obvious to John, it would have helped to clarify things for Mike (breaking the illusion/delusion) by telling him that it was just a friendship, together with jokes about love/loving and sex. As I thought more about the situation, there were other things about John’s thinking and behavior which seemed peculiar to me in the same area that I discussed above, but I feel as though I’ve said enough. However, this is where mental health issues come into play, but I am of the opinion that some things can be fixed with the right attitude, manners and insight.

      I like the book you recommended, and I’m familiar with it. In turn, I would like to recommend “An Uncommon History of Common Courtesy: How Manners Shaped the World” by Bethanne Patrick. Overall, the book is universal.

      Some of the information you've provided has shed some light on a very important issue. Aside from that, tap dancing through life looks very tiring to me as well.

    3. I will have to take a look at the book on courtesy - I often enjoy those sorts of analysis. Thanks.

      Sounds like John and Mike needed some Broke Back Mountain time to work things out.

    4. HLH, While approaching this subject, "Courtesy Calls Again" is a book that I dislike when compared to “An Uncommon History of Common Courtesy: How Manners Shaped the World." Honestly, I read only the first three pages of it and then decided to put it down.

      "Brokeback Mountain" is an adaptation of a piece of writing from 1997 by Annie Proulx, which is an important detail for you to understand its meaning. I wonder, how would you review this movie in connection to your comment?

  8. I could never live my life following a bunch of rules. I break them every single time, even when they are self-imposed. I couldn't get through school, or hold down a job for that reason. I invariably quit with a flamboyant "fuck you!" I can't even stick to a routine; I find them insufferably boring.

    I guess that's why I eventually had to become my own boss. I couldn't abide by structures imposed upon me by others for any length of time.

    I run an organization, but it is a strong sense of duty, and the fact that others actively depend on me, which holds me accountable- not rules. Even so, I inevitably flake off every now and then. But nobody can say much about it on account of my being the president.

    My colleagues chide me for it, but I like them, so I'm nice most of the time. Besides, I have to make sure they stay on board, so turning on the charm is essential.

    I have a knack for business. Altruism is imperative. I put my ship before myself. Treat others they way you would want to be treated. Not my strong suit, but I really try.

  9. What will those rules accomplish? I have only two rules as suggestion to young folks:

    1. Channel bad impulses into constructive law abiding stuff
    2. Stop lying all the time, this will become a sour grape to bite in the end.

    1. Seems like impulse control is a big one based off these comments. Care to elaborate?

    2. Young folks in general think they know it all. Young socios in general are even worse regarding this. The latter group should ponder their condition. They should realize that they have a flaw in their perception: too "smart", too reckless and to haughty. When they fall of their high horse things can really "go south", so to speak..

  10. By the way M.E. Thomas you are not a sociopath but a fraud, liar, and a joke to true sociopaths. From a real female sociopath you are a phony. Yoy spend your life talking and writing about being a sociopath. Why aren't you out living your life like a real sociopath would? It's obvious you are a wanna be. There are a lot of them these days. Until you have had to deal with extreme jealouy you will never know what it's like. You just like to study them and ride a boat that you are not part of and don't belong on.

    1. A fraud, a liar and a joke to true sociopaths? Does not that make the point that ME may be a sociopath and that you are not?
      I do not understand why you would comment on this site in this fashion if you were a sociopath. Would not you care less that somebody is impersonating you? Are you not the wanna be? Don't bite me, I am just saying...

    2. She clearly isn't a sociopath and you probably aren't either. It is literally vomit inducing how many people seem to think this glorified narcissist is ACTUALLY a fucking sociopath.


  11. 1 to 19 make absolute sense to me.
    What is it about 20? I don't get that one.

    1. Hi, I'm the one that sent the email to Ms. Thomas.
      I meant that you should not say things like "Ummmmm". It's a way of improving communication skills.
      You don't want to seem awkward. It demonstrates weak social calibration. Most socially well-adjusted people have good communication skills and good conversation skills.

    2. ^True, 'dat.

      However, it is also useful to consider the opposite side of the coin.

      Saying "Ummmmmm" too much can make a person sound a little bit boring and dry, but it can also point to an earnestness that is untainted by narcissistic concern over how one is projecting oneself. It can denote someone's thorough absorption in a concept, as demonstrated by a lack of self-consciousness. Conversely, it can point to *extreme* self-consciousness, if the person is giving off other signals of nervousness. (Feet shuffling, hesitation, a lack of sustained eye contact, looking down, excessive fidgeting.)

      This, I find endearing. I like it when people are somewhat intimidated by me- but it clues me into their weakness.

      For whatever reason, I am exquisitely attuned to the signals people give off.

    3. I was something of a precocious twit as a child, and coupled with my intelligence/big vocabulary, I found that my self-assured manner was off-putting to some of my peers. I made a conscious decision around age 12 to start inserting pauses, "ums" and the like into my conversations. I would pretend not to know something even if I knew the answer immediately, because too much instant recall weirds people out and alienates them.

      I agree that communication skills are important, but part of that is figuring out who your audience is and what their expectations are. So your approach may vary, depending on context.

    4. When I try to charm someone, if they try to charm me back, I let them charm me. When two people try too hard to out-charm each other, then they both become hostile. I also find it endearing when they become susceptible to my charms. That's why I act this way around other sociopaths I identify.
      So that's how I charm sociopaths. It is worth doing if they are in a position to help you, but of course it's not good if you need to command respect.

    5. A,

      There is nothing intimidating about people with psychological issues (as you are showing). All that one can do is to stay away from them, especially when they can't control themselves.

    6. Tell that to my employees. :D

      Just kidding. I'm not as aggressive as I was as a teen. I'm very sweet- until you cross me.

    7. A, a good thing that you can do is to work on your aggression against yourself and others (when you act aggressively against others, you're harming yourself, too). If you want to be a true fighter as you've mentioned in the other comment to me, this would be a good thing to fight for in your life. You'll feel much better about yourself afterward.

  12. Anybody have tips on impulse control tips? Which impulses to control? I love to lie to people because it sharpens my communications skills. Lying requires you to think on your feet. I'm a pathological liar, and I love lying. Don't see a reason to stop in low stakes situations.

  13. Brilliant. I wish I had this information growing up. Especially the piece about laughter. I would have avoided so many fights. I didn't realize until a few months ago the power of laughter. You can turn just about anyone to your side with a chuckle. It's a universal bonding agent.

    1. Didn't you find the fights entertaining? I occasionally laugh at situations innapropriately with the specific intention of causing a fight; especially if it's with one of those 'tough guys' (usually poorly adjusted socios themselves).. A smack-down after being laughed at by some wiry stranger just destroys their reputation.

    2. No, it just demonstrates your existent mental issues, which need attention. Avoid fights, because you'll alienate everyone as a result of your actions. In the end, everybody will just avoid you.

    3. Why are you so concerned about other people's "mental issues" and folks potentially avoiding you, Anon? Is your self-esteem so contingent upon how others perceive you?

      "Avoid fights" to avert being avoided. Eschew confrontation and shut up, to avoid being disliked. Sounds like you have mastered the fine art of being a doormat.

      Meh. All in all, that is probably the best advice. Turn the other cheek. You are fortunate that it comes so naturally for you. Some of us are fighters.

    4. A,

      Your baseless assumptions about me are false, and, no, I have never been a "doormat" in my life (your aggressive words on this sound ridiculous to me, evidently looking to stir trouble or to upset me, which you haven't done). Obviously, you just want to argue or to have an aggressive confrontation. There is a difference between being a fighter as I understand it and arguing aggressively as you do. I am a strong fighter. I fight for good causes and for my family.

      Take care of your issues, and work on your aggressive thinking/behavior.

    5. *Sigh*... What a lecture!
      What happened to this place?

    6. A,

      It was not a lecture. However, I do like giving "untaught" lectures. Honestly.

    7. Yes, I can see that. :-)

  14. Outrageous! M.E. is no fraud and liar. She is sweet and wonderful.
    She wants to make a living. So she "embellishes."
    In my through "expert" studies of M.E., I see that she is actually a very loving
    woman and a credit to the human race.
    Many years ago, I went around the block to visit a "friend." He wasn't home, but
    I did see these two little children. A boy and a girl. They both had white hair and
    they couldn't talk. They were all smiles and eminated love. A teen girl was
    watching them. She was very friendly too. I don't know what was with these
    strange children, but I do know that M.E. was the teen girl.

    1. You called M.E. a fraud, a liar, a wannabe and a joke, using the name Sara Frick @ 6:07 PM. There are serious issues with your thinking and behavior.

  15. How are you not all over HBO's special about Robert Durst?! the entire show is a sociopath admission!

    You need to cover that!


  16. Does any of you love the throbbing heartbeat in an erect cock?

    Or how I love it so....

    I love being fed cock.

  17. Folks get so "outspoken" on the net, people just "ventilate" opinions they never would dream about saying in a cafe or work-meeting. Almost like no consequences could ever follow? Perhaps these people are convinced that nothing could ever happen? The tv-programs I´ve seen about "trolls" being looked up and confronted suggests the same thing: the surprised trolls just are "amazed" that anyone ever would have dreamed of not just accepted to be labeled a "cunt" or "whore" and just accepted this as a regular "Hello, how are you?" e-mail..

    1. O thou art righteous. Show me thy ways O righteous one. What shall my consequences unfold?!

    2. Hush, Question! Don't get outspoken, or assault Anonymouse with any Big, Bad, Scary Words!

      Unspecified consequences may follow!! xD

  18. The people accepted for the "one-way" emigration to the planet Mars are all sociopaths. The effort won't completely rid the planet earth of sociopaths, but it's a start. Kind of tough shit for the Martians, but H. G. Wells and Orson Welles will greet you there and prepare you for your elegant new digs.

  19. I read about half the posts and stopped because I got the info. But u have to realize I know exactly what ur trying to sell me on. And in case you haven't noticed I'm not buying it. No one is complaining for equality however one might be complaining for u guys to realize that at BEST we r equals. What u can get I certainly can get. Location location. On a global scale.

  20. I don't want to be friends and talk about shit. If ur spoken for then I don't care what u do as long as its NOT with me. Why would I SIGN a contract here that someone with less credentials doesn't have to sign. When I can travel in that time machine and Not SIGN a contract a get a better deal. Wake the fuck up and open your eyes.

  21. ET please phone home. No seriously ET phoning home would make Spielberg mad but at least he would know where YOUR home truly is ( and other terrestrials like you)

  22. I am starting to wonder: could sociopathy also be a trait which could be learned to a certain degree?
    Of course, sociopathy means people are hard wired to feel no empathy, guilt or remorse, but what if the brain could be altered even after birth. I guess to explain what I mean i have to briefly explain my situation first.

    I suppose I was an empath, I used to be this loner kid that didn't want to hang around with anyone. I was smart and people were boring and dumb for me, even in Kindergarten, so I never really learned how to behave in social occasions or how to read nonverbal clues and the likes.
    Also, I am required to take medication (opioids) for 2 years already, which eradicated any feelings of empathy from my body and numbed down my emotions. What's left is a rational person, and I really enjoy being like this.
    So I saw the empath world, but also stepped foot into the sociopath world, but I want to go the whole way, I prefer it that way. However, I would not know how, since I have no idea how to mimic, manipulate or read other people.

    I would love to see some input on this topic, and maybe even a "how to sociopathy" from a fellow sociopath.


    1. Peter, I don't know where you live. Whatever medium exists for people to get together (romantic or whatever) you might place an advertisement along the lines of "Bored, innocent, empath seeks experienced sociopath for training." If you survive more than a week, tells us how it goes.

    2. I am german, announcements in the local newspaper a quite a thing here, so I guess I might try that. While I'm at it I might as well put one on the bulletin board at my Uni.

      So, you are saying that the ways of a sociopath can be learned? You seem to have a quite clear picture of what this training might look like, care to elaborate?

    3. There is definitely a genetic component to sociopathy that is triggered by environmental factors.

      I think of it as a spectrum. It is a personality type often characterized as charming, manipulative, and charismatic, dominated by traits such as fearlessness, poverty of affect, promiscuity, impulsivity, boldness, deception, verbal facility, narcissism, irresponsibility, a lack of remorse, and aggression. These aren't necessarily pathological, unless they are out of control.

      Substance abuse and thrill-seeking due to a poor tolerance for boredom is often present in sociopaths. I think this is because we are eager to *feel* things. Stronger stimulation is required to produce intense sensations in sociopathic individuals. This may be due in part to differences in the brains of psychopaths. The amygdala is underactive (I have a very poorly developed startle reflex. Now I understand why), and there are structural differences in the frontal cortex. I strongly suspect that there are also differences in the way the pleasure/pain and reward/punishment complexes are wired in the psychopathic brain. I theorize that this may be why there seems to be a tendency towards sadomasochism and other forms of sexual deviation in many sociopaths, but that is pure speculation on my part, supported only by anecdotal experience.

      Sociopathy is a complex coping mechanism that usually arises as a result of abuse in which the child learns to harden himself to the trauma of repeated assaults of an emotional or physical nature. It is a multifaceted and interesting phenomena.

      I wouldn't "cure" myself of these tendencies even if I thought I could. I like who I am.

    4. RA, that advertisement is hot. I wouldn't respond to it, but I'd fantasize about it, lol. It would certainly pique my curiosity.

      Peter Pan, RA was being facetious, which confirms your statement that you don't know how to read people- unless, of course, you have a fetish for being abused.

      Do you enjoy being abused, PP? :)

    5. A, point proven I guess; I assumed RA was being serious. Unless you are the one messing with me by saying he wasn't. Guess there's no way around taking everything with a grain of salt when dealing with Sociopaths.

      From what I've heard about people on the sociopath-spectrum and a bit of first hand experience I can say I agree with your description, which is also why I plan on this kind of change. Juggling with words has never been that much of a problem for me, I only lack the lying part which enables one to be both charming and manipulative. Regarding the other traits, I so far still lack fearlessness and deception. A tad narcissism wouldn't hurt either.

      The substance abuse and thrill-seeking however definitely fits me, I talked my doc into handing me out prescriptions for opioid painkillers and am constantly seeking mental challenges to not be bored, so why not expand to toying around with people for entertainment? Sure sounds like a lot of fun to me, though I lack ideas on how to go about that.

      So, while it is obviously rather stupid to appeal to a sociopaths emotions to ask for help, maybe there is some way I can be interesting enough for someone to take on this "experiment" with me.
      Think about it, you'd have a young guy with a truckload of free time and who is basically willing to do whatever at your hands, it's not often that someone would be willing to something like this. It might even be a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

      And to answer your last question, maybe I really do enjoy being abused and just don't know about it yet.

    6. Regarding charm, manipulation, and reading people:

      To some degree, I think charm and and manipulation are organic. They emerge as a consequence of being able to read people well. I enjoy charming people by building people up and stroking their egos, but I also like to keep folks on their toes by knocking them down. I can honestly say that I don't know why, or how, I am so attuned to people's strengths and weaknesses- and I don't know if this is a propensity that can be learned or taught.

      What I mean is that I don't have to force myself to think in this way. I have always operated in this manner. I keep a mental checklist on people. I collect "ammo" consisting of their strengths and weaknesses, including "good" and "bad" traits. When and if it pleases me to use them, I do. It amuses me to confront people and watch them squirm. It actually turns me on.

      Growing up, I would infuriate my friends because I cut right through their bullshit, and called them on the real motivations underlying their actions. My direct, confrontational nature and lack of empathy have caused problems in virtually all of my relationships.

      One girl, in particular, would rail against me and insist that I was wrong, until succumbing to my relentless probes, and finally asking, incredulously... "But how did you *know*?"

      I didn't. I made educated guesses based upon accumulated observations, and my resulting assessments of her psychological motives. I also possessed the audacity to speak my mind. That's it.

      Sometimes, all I have to go on is a cold read, which could well mean that I am full of shit, especially in places like this one. (Take *everything* I say here with a grain of salt.) But it pleases me to practice this skill on anonymous strangers.

      I should probably mention at this point that although I am professionally successful and surrounded by colleagues who respect me, I have no intimate friendships apart from my with my husband. (Some time ago, I met someone here with whom I might share this kind of friendship, but I had to cull it, for personal reasons.)

      I am not the best person to advise anyone with regard to such matters. I am terrible at maintaining intimate relationships. I dislike being vulnerable, except on my own, strictly controlled terms.

      Regarding fearlessness:

      Fearlessness can be learned. Practice an extreme sport. Push yourself to the edge, look over the brink, and force yourself over it, repeatedly. The thrill of conquering this kind of challenge is incredibly empowering, and addictive.
      If you beat something out of yourself hard enough, and relentlessly, eventually it will go away. :)

      I believe in God. Death doesn't really scare me. And ultimately, what other fears exist? Failure? So what. Get over it, and try again. Everyone fails sometimes.

      Re: Substance abuse

      As for substance abuse, getting hooked on opioids is a poor choice. Try marijuana. It is relatively innocuous as far as substances go, and sufficiently potent to remain entertaining over the long term.

      Re: Your affinity for abuse

      Your disposition informs me that you are likely submissive in some areas, from which I might infer that you may have hidden masochistic impulses. My natural propensity would be to draw them out, and help you to channel them in... Interesting ways. :)

      There is nothing wrong with this orientation. In fact, it is enticing for those of us with with predatory instincts.

      Re: Your learning to be a sociopath

      What I don't understand is why you are trying to conform yourself to something you are not. Embrace yourself as you are- not how you wish you could be. Capitalize on your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses, and work on them.

      I think you would be better off not attempting to define yourself and others in terms of pre-defined psychological labels. Quit trying to shove your square peg into a round hole.

      Sexual pun intended. ;)

    7. UKan was the one you were going to share a relationship with wasn't he?

    8. I suppose there is a bit of a misunderstanding. By learning from Sociopaths I am actually trying to extend my peg so I can use it to its fullest, to adapt your metaphor ;)

      Re: manipulation and reading people

      While I do agree with your point of view that charm and manipulation are consequences of knowing what someone is like and using this knowledge effectively and that there are certain individuals which have an incredibly easy time at grasping someones strengths and weaknesses, I have to object that this doesn't mean people can not also learn it.
      Body language and the associated psychology is an interesting science field, after all. So wether it is intuitive or one has to focus on reading people until a habit is formed, it all boils down to the whole thing being something everyone can do.

      Needless to say, it is a skill I very desire, since, as you might know even better than I, knowledge is power, and having power over others is fun.
      So since I want to acquire this skill, why not try and learn it from the masters of it?

      Just reading about you toying with your "friends", calling out on their lies made me all excited, I couldn't help but to let my fantasy run wild about all the things I'd do if only I knew how. Giving up intimate relationships for this kind of power is something I gladly accept. Haven't had one so far, so it's not like I am really giving up on something.

      Regarding the substance abuse:

      I'm in chronic pain, so there's no way for me to get around using opioids anyway, might as well do the best of it. I am functioning, and very well I'd say, so what's the big deal, it keeps the boredom away for a while.

      Re: masochistic tendencies

      I find your interest in my supposedly hidden masochist ways... interesting and honestly doesn't sound all that unappealing to me. Oh, who knows.

      I assume I could make my intentions a bit clearer now. If so, let me know what you think, haven't had such a fine talk in a while.

    9. I'm not entirely convinced these personality attributes can be learned, but I can advise you a bit, since you asked so nicely. :)

      If you aspire to social and psychological dominance, the first thing you need to do is eliminate self -consciousness and shame. Some people are going to dislike you. You need to be willing to take risks, and look like an ass. Don't care.

      In some environments, your actions will always count, so don't make a joke of yourself. Practice where it doesn't matter.

      Manipulation is a tool with many prongs. Some are sharp and wicked, while others are smooth and easy, and feel so good sliding in that your target will beg you to keep going. That is when to stop- but only for awhile. Never fully satisfy a target you are attempting to seduce or charm; always leave them aching for more.

      "Who knows?" I do. :) It doesn't sound unappealing because deep down, you crave it. I can smell it all over you.

      The line between pleasure and pain is easily blurred by someone who knows how to use one in order enhance the other. There are so many interesting ways in which to play with both.

    10. A few more tips:

      When analyzing someone, learn to read between the lines. Fire shots and see what kind of reaction you get. A person will reveal much by how he or she responds to various kinds of probes.

      Be kind and sweet, but when someone says something to invite your condescension, strike hard and swift, making good use of all the information you've gleaned about their weaknesses. Then return to your pleasant disposition. You'll have people walking on eggshells around you in no time. :)

    11. Anon 3:45, what makes you think so?

    12. I'm not entirely sure wether that first part was supposed to be sarcastic and you are messing with me by giving advice that won't work or if I have piqued your interest somehow which really made you want to help me.
      Whatever your motivation may be, I'd like to thank you.

      Getting rid of shame and being fearless goes hand in hand I guess and there might even be a way to test myself for masochistic tendencies. Really all I have to do is put myself in situations I despise, getting as far from my comfort zone as possible. For one and I can try and see wether it pleasures me on some level, on the other hand it should get rid of unnecessary emotions.

      Regarding manipulation:
      Today I actually had a great oppurtunity to try how much influence I actually had on others. See, two of the people I spend time with at school (I am still relatively young, though you probably guessed that already) are a couple. Knowing that he can become quite furious quickly when someone says something that goes against his beliefs and him also not being able to really direct that anger and the fact that they haven't been on best terms lately, I thought of adding some fuel to the fire by irritating him in class before those two met. Needless to say, they argued shortly after.
      Coincidentally, I also give her extra lessons in maths on wednesdays, so in the afternoon, being the thoughtful, kind and caring person I am, i let her vent about her emotional problems and how I get her so much better than him and all that kind of crap.
      Well, let's just stay we didn't study much that afternoon...

      This tremendous power is incredible, I haven't had this much fun in what feels like forever. Definitely, I can see myself getting used to this ;)

      However, I have to inquire about something you said: When you talked about cold reading, you mentioned that you would sometimes practice your skills on the internet. Exactly how would you go about that? In order to cold read someone, the person needs to be seen so one can make educated guesses based on their appearance, or am I mistaken?

    13. I wasn't messing with you, and you didn't pique my interest in particular. To be honest, I toyed with the idea of ripping into you on account of your comments, but apparently decided against it. I'm not sure why, so don't ask.

      Appearance has little to do with it. I don't need to see someone to do a cold read. I just have to read between the lines. Having someone in front of me only makes it easier.

      How young is "very young"?

    14. I wonder what that'd look like, mostly to see how much information about me you were able to get out of this conversation.

      Seems a bit hard to do cold reading based solely on words. There's no body language to be read, not even a tone of voice to listen for. Quite impressive that you're able to pull it off anyway.

      Turning 19 soon.

    15. I'm bored and have a lot of free time this week. I'll give you a whack, since you're clearly asking for it, but I'll be gentle. This time. ;)

      You're very impressionable, and relatively naive. You are also fairly intelligent. You do not possess the characteristic grandiosity common to sociopaths and narcissists. I detect none of the arrogance that normally gives these types away in our exchanges.

      You are insecure and inexperienced, and would love nothing more than for a more experienced woman to show you the ropes. That is why my statement concerning your masochism appealed to you. There's likely much more of that beneath the surface, but it remains latent because it has not been drawn out of you by the right person. You are guarded, but itching to let that guard down.

      You are attracted to confidence, likely because you do not yet possess very much of it. In fact, you're rather insecure-but that is changing, as you are currently in a period of personal transition.

      This is a stretch, but I envision you as someone who had a gentle upbringing in a relatively stable home, possibly as an only child, or with siblings much older or younger than you.

      You are not aggressive nor combative, but you possess the latent ability to be cunning and shrewd.

      You're excited by the prospect of exploring new facets of your character. You are in the process of discovering who you really are. You do not strike me as a leader or a follower, just a bit of a loner. You probably do not have many friends, by choice.

      You lack a moral compass. You do not strike me as one with much empathy. And you're a bit cold.

      You are seeking ways to alleviate the boredom and aimlessness which pervade your life. You clearly have not yet found your passion. You crave more stimulation, but you are not a dare-devil. For this reason, you are attracted to the thought of getting your thrills vicariously, alongside someone who is bolder and stronger than you. You admire these traits, and want to incorporate them into your character, but you are not sure how to go about doing that. But you are eager to learn. You're seeking a mentor.
      And you are *eager* to please the right woman. :)

      Be on guard against being too impressionable and leaning too much on others for direction.

      You're a bit of a chameleon, aren't you?

      So there you have it. That's a cold read. Glacial, really, because I haven't talked with you much at all.

      I could be very wrong about many of these things... But somehow, I don't think so. :)

    16. I have to admit, your description is well fitting for the most part. One thing I have to disagree with, though you said yourself that it was a stretch. I actually had a rather rough and troublesome upbringing, which I see as the source of my insecurity, lack of confidence and chameleon-like behaviour.

      Most of my childhood and teens I realized that the best way to hide would be within plain sight, so right now is the time where I'm trying to get away from this kind of attitude.

      As for the mentor-seeking part: true,though I have yet to find out wether it is due to a lack in self trust or just me not really being good at teaching things to myself.

      Care to elaborate on what you meant by my eagerness to please the right woman? You put quite a lot of emphasis on that sentence, so I'm certain there must be some deeper meaning I am not quite getting.

    17. Nice. I thought I'd probably be on target, because I usually am. See? I didn't have to read your body language to figure these things out.

      About your family history: I was actually wavering between calling it troubled and calm. I went with calm because of my own troubled past. I relied on projection to make that assertion: I turned out rather aggressive and combative- and confidence is not something I lack. On the contrary, I'm somewhat arrogant. But obviously, similar backgrounds can affect people differently, depending on all sorts of environmental and genetic factors.

      It is also the only thing I couldn't deduce purely on the basis of our exchange here: a speculation about what made you the way you are, as opposed to an observation about who you are.

      I placed emphasis on the last sentence because I think you would enjoy being sexually submissive- but only for the right person.. They would have to draw it out of you, slowly. You are likely quite picky; even a bit fickle, but that's just because you haven't met someone who could blow your mind. If you're lucky, you will.

      So... How *did* I know all that stuff about you? ;)

    18. I stated my amazement about your skills a few times, so me being impressionable was quite obvious, which led to you thinking I am naive due to being inexperienced in life as a whole, thus making me impressionable in the first place.

      Me seeking an experienced woman to show me how it's done was already explained by you, and because of my interest and being open about this topic you discerned that I want to let my guard down.

      My lack of confidence - or attraction towards it - was likely given away by me asking question after question, not being statisfied until I was sure I really got your meaning. Or it was due to me using vague words like "likely, maybe, might be...", thus showing a lack of self-trust.

      I have to admit, I have no clue how you figured out my potential to be sly and witty, not to say that it is wrong. If I had to guess I'd say it is because I adapted your metaphor, though that's quite a stretch.

      The part about me being in a time of transition and seeking to find my personality, well, I guess being on this blog and so eager to find answers was a giveaway.

      You got my lack of morals from my anecdote about wilfully toying around with my friends, having fun at the expense of their relationship. Also, I'd like to know how you distinguish between not having much empathy and being cold. In my book, that is the same.

      You were wrong about me not having found my passion, which I already did. You were right about me seeking stimulation though, be it mental or phisical. That's the downside of being a chameleon, it's utterly boring. I don't really have to state how you found out, I mentioned my boredom more than enough.

      After analyzing what you wrote and trying to deduce how you found out, most if it looks almost blatantly obvious, there's only a few things where I am not quite sure how you figured them out.

      You mentioned that you can't really say how you find out about people, so asking if I'm right could be pointless, but I'll ask anyway. Because I am sure that I am right.

    19. Very good. :)

      See? Not so "amazing" after all. You said you wanted to learn how to manipulate effectively. Take what you've learned by parsing my deductive process, and apply it to others.

      Years ago, I read a book called "The Gift of Fear". In it, a world-famous FBI profiler described the ways in which we are subconsciously attuned to signals in our environment which inform our primitive brains regarding the potential for danger. We should never ignore those signals, even if we don't consciously understand *why* we sense that something is amiss.

      I think those of us with predatory instincts are more attuned to signals of every kind- including the strengths and weaknesses projected by others. Either consciously or subconsciously, we size up our "opponents" and "allies" because this information is useful. Indeed, if anything defines a sociopath, it is our desire to win, and exert power and influence over others, so it should come as no surprise that this is a natural way of operating for people with a sociopathic mindset. Sometimes, we are not even consciously aware of what we are doing.

      But I suppose you are right. It can be learned.

      I'll be transparent about one more thing: I deduced (incorrectly) that you haven't yet found your passion, because you are young, naive, and in a process of self-discovery. Most people in your situation are still searching.

      So... What is your passion? :)

    20. Well, seeing how you found out things about me is easier than finding out stuff about others, since I know much about me, my thoughts and inner processes. Still, it was good to see an example of how cold reading works, I'll start practicing tomorrow.

      I get your point about humans still using their basic instincts even in modern society. It is also why empaths in love (don't know if and how sociopaths love) are acting nervous when they are around their crush. It's a stressful situation and thus triggering a fight or flight response.
      Since you already mentioned books: I'd say you are a very intelligent and educated person, so you might also be very literate. Are there any books you could recommend, maybe even especially about reading people, manipulation or something along those lines? It's better to also do some self-study instead of blindly clingin to a mentor after all.
      Still, I really appreciate your help.

      My passion is closely linked to my boredom. I'm addicted to mental stimulation, be it puzzles, riddles, calculations, as long as it challenges my brain I cannot ignore it. Because of this I have a huge interest in mathematics and logic, but also Philosophy to practice arguing with others.

  23. I am a 15 year old possible female sociopath. Many of these things I have already learned, but a few were helpful, while others seemed to be bullshit.

    My main question is what do I do if my dad hasn't come across the idea that he is a sociopath, even though im sure he is? How do I confront an adult for help if they haven't even confronted themselves about it? And if I am not a sociopath, does anyone know of any other disorder that is close to sociopathy, but not quite it? I know there's something dreadfully off about me...

  24. All sociopaths are different. Not all of them are open to revealing themselves. I have never revealed to anyone that I am a sociopath. I mean not even my own family. Your dad recognizes the dangers. Which tips did you like and which ones did you think were bullshit?

    1. Very true. Thank you.I just dislike labeling myself and then realizing its wrong. But I feel like he hasn't even connected at all with the term, it seems hes completely oblivious actually. I lent him M.E. Thomas's book and that might help, but I don't know. He's quite a complicated guy.
      I liked numbers 1,2,4,7,11,13,16,17,18
      I disliked 3,6,8,19,20

    2. You're so young. It is literally too early for you to tell, and I think it is inadvisable for young people, in particular, to define themselves according to psychological labels.

      As the daughter of a psychopath, I would advise you against open confrontation.

      I got called out at work the other day. We were discussing the differences between sympathy and empathy. The person who did this occupied a managerial position. The person is new to our organization, very sharp, and clearly quite observant.

      She looked at me thoughtfully and said, straight to my face: "You're a total sociopath, aren't you??"

      It *really* caught me off guard. For once in my life, I was tongue tied. So I narrowed my eyes, threw water in her face (just a few light splashes; some of us were standing around a sink), and said "thank you for announcing that at the top of your lungs. You may as well have just outed me as gay". (I *am* relatively closeted bisexual, lol.)

      After this, a well-meaning person talked to me at lengths about the benefits of therapy in helping one to reconnect with one's feelings. I said a bunch of intimate shit that I wanted to kick myself for afterwards. Ugh.

      My advice would be to not confront a sociopath directly. It is unpleasant. :P

    3. My father has put me through a lot of shit, made me want to kill myself, and had mentally tortured my mother. If he gets even a little uncomfortable at a confrontation I would love it, he deserves it. I hate him, but I also admire him...

      My age is a difficult thing for me. The majority of my friends are a few years older, but I usually choose to act very immature, seen that most people think that's funny and likable. But when I'm by myself i am a completely different person. I've never talked to myself, never laughed at myself, and I've even taken to cutting as a form of excitement and adrenaline.So here's the thing. I can act and be whoever I want, but when I'm alone i don't really have a personality.

      I feel like its not too young for me to know in all honesty. I've been tested for Aspies, so its obviously not too young to know that.I obviously know there's differences, but not in diagnosis.

      Any help would be appreciated, I really do feel like the label fits me, but I do have a few aspects of myself that seem to disagree. I am horribly curious though...

    4. Same here. By the way, I am same anonymous guy from above. I don't know why. Everything about sociopath fits me. Except the part with risk-taking. I don't take stupid risks, but apparently all sociopaths do that. I do need constant stimulation though. I just feel like risking my life or risking permanent paralysis is not worth the risk. If you're a sociopath, you don't have a clue what empathy is. That's the defining trait of sociopath. And the next one is narcissism.. This trait is easy to identify too. If you look down on everyone you meet and you' are selfish, then you definitely are a sociopath.

    5. And which few aspects do you disagree with? I feel like I have dealt with a lot of sociopaths in my life, so I am really good at identifying my fellow antisocials. I love to play games with other sociopaths. It's amusing.

    6. I always thought that being empathetic meant that you could understand other people, in their thoughts and actions. But only recently I discovered that isn't the case. I went from identifying as extreme empath to the other side of the spectrum. It was quite a shock. So no, I really don't have any idea what empathy is, or guilt, or shame. I've tried imagining them, but I just cant...

      I do not have an absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking. I have been extremely depressed and suicidal before. (Even though I've always thought of suicide as something i could do to hurt someone.)

      I am generally untruthful and insincere, unless its with my girlfriend or other close friends. I don't really if that means something, if anything.

      I don't think i have inadequately motivated antisocial behavior...but I have done some things.

      Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated isn't really something that describes me.I take my sex life very personal and think of it as a way to be more connected with my girlfriend.

      So I don't really know....

    7. Check out bipolar disorder. Definitely check that one out. Defintely... I don't think a sociopath would ever get depressed. The saddest moment of my life lasted like three days and resembled resentment and jealously more than sadness. Sociopaths do not feel the sadness motion deeply. Bipolar disorder has similar symptoms to sociopathy but is a completely different issue.

    8. I am definitely not bipolar. I have very solid shifts.They last for a few months. But its not sadness that I'm feeling. Its deadness. There's nothing there. No hope,only bitterness. I don't know if that counts as depression now that I think about it... but the only times I've been in a legit happy state is when I get my fix of adrenaline. Ive always thought of suicide and harming myself not as an escape, but as a way to get back at or harm other people who care about me.

      I do have a bipolar friends,so I know what the actual disorder looks like. Believe me. Its not me.

    9. Will you please explain the cause of your depression? Interestingly, I have thought of suicide before as harming my family. This happens when I am really mad. And it's a temporary thought. Only you will know if you're a sociopath. It takes a year for a sociopath to move from the socially awkward stage to mildly charismatic, depending on your intelligence/ability to learn new skills.

  25. I just toked, which helps me to be more introspective.

    I had put the incident out of my mind, but it has occurred to me that although our exchange was light-hearted and teasing, I should not have responded as I did. I exposed myself.

    I should have done my best to appear perplexed and quizzical. Instead, I reacted quasi-defensively, thus providing fuel for potential rumors and gossip. My not having a more scripted response was unfortunate and weak. I will have to make an effort to "connect" with this person now, and up my game significantly.

    She is a kind and highly intelligent person. Maybe I should trust her.... ~ Lol.

    1. Play with her a little bit, she seems to be a challenge.

    2. Yeah.

      Tell me, what would you suggest?

    3. I think you should draw her in. Tell her your fake life story, how you realized your a sociopath, ect. Make her trust you, then rely on you for support. Then when she actually needs help,don't give it to her. Confuse the fuck out of her. Im sure you can take it from there.

    4. I have some of my own ideas on how to respond, but I was curious as to what others might say. Sharing my life story is not on the agenda. Also, it is fitting for her to rely upon me for support. I run the organization that we are both part of.

      I have no desire to hurt this person. She is a valuable member of my team. I also do not like betraying the trust of people just for kicks. I find treachery cowardly and contemptible, unless it suits my agenda. I won't lie here and say I've never betrayed anyone's trust, but I am not consistently malicious, in general.

      Besides, while I acknowledge that I am a person with sociopathic personality traits, I refuse to pin that label to my lapel.

      It all depends on how you define the term. A lot of people who are uneducated with regard to what sociopathy actually *is* insist that sociopaths fulfill a bunch of criteria which support their pet myths on the condition- and these are contingent on whether they revile or admire us. Those who look up to the ruthless insist that only the most heartless are sociopaths. Those who look down upon ruthlessness use the term "psychopath" in the most derogatory way possible- but the truth is that both views are inaccurate.

      For example.... If you have a smidgen of empathy, you are not a sociopath. If you aren't deliberately cruel and monstrous, you are not a sociopath. If you're selfish and mean, you're definitely a sociopath! If you have any feelings at all- not a sociopath! If you take cold medicine when you are sick, you're not a sociopath! On and on it goes. Unscientific and uneducated misconceptions about this condition abound.

      It doesn't work like that. I've been studying sociopathy for a fairly long time. Psychopathy comprises various specific personality traits on a spectrum. I think the "condition" might only be deemed pathological when the traits are out of control.

      I was out of control for a time in my life, but I've changed. Kind of. It's complicated. :P

    5. A,

      “I also do not like betraying the trust of people just for kicks. I find treachery cowardly and contemptible…”

      I agree with you, since betraying the trust of people and being cowardly and contemptible auto-destructs one’s own character. As a result, I would imagine that one would become a mere shell of a person.

      “For example.... If you have a smidgen of empathy, you are not a sociopath. If you aren't deliberately cruel and monstrous, you are not a sociopath. If you're selfish and mean, you're definitely a sociopath! If you have any feelings at all- not a sociopath! If you take cold medicine when you are sick, you're not a sociopath! On and on it goes. Unscientific and uneducated misconceptions about this condition abound.”

      There is both undeniable truth and particularly-characteristic humor in your ideas at this point in the discussion. I am of the opinion that unscientific and uneducated misconceptions about this condition can be highly misleading to real findings.

      “It doesn't work like that. I've been studying sociopathy for a fairly long time. Psychopathy comprises various specific personality traits on a spectrum. I think the "condition" might only be deemed pathological when the traits are out of control.

      I was out of control for a time in my life, but I've changed. Kind of. It's complicated. :P”

      Yes, when the traits are out of control, it would become pathological. Although you view it as complicated, you’ve mentioned that you were out of control at a given time in your life, but you’ve changed. What were the factors involved, and what precipitated that specific change in you?

  26. So now you hide it better? XD

    1. that was in response to A @8:15

    2. Not if my co-worker's recent declaration is any indication! :P

      And certainly not here.

      You know, when I toked the other night, I retreated to my default position on wanting avoid exposure. But screw that. I am what I am.

      I ended up having a conversation about sociopathy that I really didn't want to have (including reassuring the person that I wasn't "that kind" of sociopath, because I could tell they were a bit freaked out) but that was ultimately positive, because I dispelled a few myths about the condition. It was the first (semi) transparent conversation I've ever had on the subject, apart from here, with my husband, or you. :P

      At work, I am literally forced to be the very best version of myself I can be, so I really am on my best behavior.

      I dont socialize much apart from that, so hiding it is only a thing when I get triggered. And by then it's usually too late because impulse control. Lol.

    3. Upon reflection, I think I responded in the best way I could have. By reacting defensively, I triggered her guilt. I made sure she felt bad for blurting it out. Admittedly, I capitalized on that with a bit of emotional manipulation. At the end of our discussion, she was apologizing profusely.

      The person is observant. For whatever reason, she had picked up on my shallow affect. But she clucked reassuringly, telling me that it wasn't my fault....That I deserve to truly benefit from being able to deeply *feel* things in a long-lasting manner. (Meh. I'm good :)

      She's a really nurturing person whose sharp wit is an asset to our group- so I won't have to dispose of her body any time soon. ;)

    4. > You know, when I toked the other night, I retreated to my default position
      > on wanting avoid exposure. But screw that. I am what I am.

      Don't hide what you are but don't flaunt it either. And never deny it.

      Mess with her head. Tell her that a pleminary diagnosis back from you doctor and you might have cancer. Fake a tear if possible. If done right you will *OWN* her. ;)

    5. Well, I didn't deny it. :P

      And no! Ugh. Didn't you read all that stuff I said about "valuable asset to my organization"? (probably not, lol)

      I think you're joking, but I'll say it anyway: I don't want to be dishonest with her unless I deem it necessary. I have a hard enough time pushing out real tears... Like, ever. Forget about fake ones.

      Of course, if she asks me about *certain* things, I will lie through my teeth with no compunction whatsoever. But then, you probably already know that.

      I'm not getting any closer to this one.

    6. You said you didn't want to dispose of her body.

      Don't do anything physical to her. Just wrap her around your finger emotionally. :P

    7. Well you know I was joking. I'm probably a lot nicer than you think I am. :P

      Besides, I can't help but do that to people. It happens to those who get close to me.

      Emotional manipulation is second nature for me. Sometimes I'm not even conscious of doing it. (Although often, I admittedly am.) I don't think I know how to *not* operate in that way. It is a fundamental part of who I am.

      Well. That sounds bad.

      You and your little comments. :P

    8. I'm thinking about this. Is emotional manipulation always "bad"? Often, I do it to help others. To motivate them. To help them get over personal obstacles and hurdles. Sometimes, I'll hit hard below the belt, but that can often serve as a catalyst for change. My getting an illicit thrill out of it doesn't change the potential impact.

      I only recently became self-aware regarding how pervasively manipulative I am.

      Granted, at times, I'm just being an asshole. And admittedly, there is always an ulterior motive. But that does not automatically make me insincere.

      Narcissistic supply? Yeah. I love the feeling of having power and influence over others. But there is an altruistic aspect to it, as well. I end up caring for the people whose heads I meddle with, in my own way. Unless it's immediate, it's fleeting. It isn't especially profound... But it's there.

      Perhaps I care more than I realize. I just don't feel things as deeply as most people seem to.

      Are you manipulative in your interactions with others?

  27. Empaths can completely fail to understand other empaths too, Elise, if that helps ;)

    1. Depends on what you're referring to.

    2. "I always thought that being empathetic meant that you could understand other people, in their thoughts and actions. But only recently I discovered that isn't the case. I went from identifying as extreme empath to the other side of the spectrum. It was quite a shock. So no, I really don't have any idea what empathy is, or guilt, or shame. I've tried imagining them, but I just cant..."

      The above was what I was referring to. Most particularly the first sentence.

      Reality is subjective. Nobody can prove their own exists, let alone tell you that theirs is 'normal' and yours is not.

      I would also add that my primary concern regarding your posted situation is not with labelling, but with extricating yourself from what appears to be an unhealthy relationship (father). Seeking some more immediately accessible (as in face to face) support might help.

    3. I've been trying to get away from him for years. My mom has spent thousands of dollars on it, but he's a sociopath, and a very smart one. He's not going to give in easily. Believe me, the minute I turn 18 I will change my name and get away from him, but that doesn't really help me now, nor does thinking about it. I would rather focus on problems more at hand than things that are years away.

    4. Fair enough. I was merely making the point that failing to understand people isn't necessarily a socio issue. In the privacy of your own mind, you are free just to be yourself - nobody can take that away from you unless you let them. If I sound preachy, I don't mean it that way: it's just the way I talk ;)
      And I wish you success in achieving your freedom :) It can be done.

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