Sunday, January 3, 2010
Occasionally I worry for my sanity. In my younger years, I could do all sorts of stuff and walk away unscathed. Now I feel like my mind is getting old just like my body is getting old. Sociopaths have a flexible sense of self, but does it get less flexible with age? Like my skin or my muscles? If my sense of self becomes more brittle with age, what will happen when I am 80? Will my mind eventually break, just like my brittle bones? If I am sane, will I still be able to put on my "mask of sanity"? Will people find out who I am? Or will my ability to do devious things just be compromised to the point where I no longer am able to do them, or when I do them I'm found out and simply labeled a garden variety asshole? I am starting to wonder whether there could be a mental version of viagra for sociopaths. If my mind goes, where am I?