Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sociopath vs. sociopath (part 1)

From a reader:


Forgive me if this is a question that has been asked and addressed before; I stumbled upon the site quite recently, and have not yet had a chance to look back through the archives in any great detail.

I am curious about the interaction between sociopaths. Not just in an online medium such as this site, but in real life, in day-to-day activities. I ask because I have reason to believe that I have recently, through a family member, become a target of a high-functioning sociopath, who makes a game of destroying people from the inside out.

I recognise in myself several tendencies that point towards sociopathy, though I am not particularly anxious to label myself as anything. I know what I am; I don't need words to describe it to be at peace with my own identity. Though I am curious about it at times, it is more like an exercise in thought than an existential crisis.

What I wonder about is how quickly sociopaths are able to recognise one another, to see through the facade of an otherwise "normal" human being. I was not at all surprised to find that this person was a sociopath - after meeting him a few times, I found myself interested in him - not sexually; he has displayed sexual interest in me, but I believe that this is more of a ploy for control, free of either emotion or desire, as are many of his actions - but on an intellectually stimulating level. We got on like the proverbial house on fire; I found his conversation very diverting and humourous, and we quite quickly alienated the other people we were talking to. I will admit to a complete lack of modesty in saying that I am quite often unable to meet and converse with someone who is on the same level as me in terms of intelligence, so I relish these chances when I get them.

Before our meeting, he had displayed interest in me through hearing about me from my family member, and I reciprocated that interest, purely because of the sheer amount of second-hand flattery I was receiving from him. I found it questionable, and was curious as to the reason behind it. To find out that he was a sociopath who had made it his goal to destroy my family member, and had possible intentions of transferring those attentions to me, either to hurt them further, or as a new target, was not surprising, but rather, confirmed some suspicions of mine. Even if the word 'sociopath' had not sprung to mind on meeting him, there was something in his behaviour that matched the hallmarks of a sociopath.

To reinstate, I would like to know how sociopaths react to one another, being as they are lone wolves rather than pack animals, if you will. If they are quickly able to identify a fellow sociopath; if they feel the need to force a confrontation upon meeting; if they are able to co-exist in harmony; if they are inclined to avoid other sociopaths. While sociopaths are vastly outnumbered by the general population, it would be ridiculous to assume that their paths would never cross.

81 comments:

  1. Michael Martin PlunkettMarch 13, 2012 at 1:23 AM

    they have a secret society its called the free masons

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  2. Self destruction comes to mind it'd be like chess but with people, emotions, and motives, move and counter move. Although I think this would be the case given the mind sets of both if neither want to budge an inch, things would escalate very quicly, possibly to violence involving the "pieces" if they happen to be the lower functioning sort, but the higher the function the more subtle the moves either way I don't think the outcome would be "positive" for either

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  3. My goodness. I just had this experience last week with a low functioning Sociopath on an online dating site. I'm the higher functioning sort, and was immediately able to identify what he was upon viewing his profile. I pursued him because I had no fear of losing control of the situation, and wanted to learn about our commonalities. I have a hard time relating to "normal" people, so it was refreshing to feel connected to something, even if it was mirroring my lies. I had no intention of being anything but an observer, but he intensely wanted sex. Which is an impulse I feel is dispensable. After getting to know him, I was unimpressed by his transparency and lack of control. Not to mention the fact that he was intent on destroying me, as he thought I was empathic. I'm quite sure he did not realize until after I broke it off, what exactly he was dealing with. His response to me was shocked and semi-submissive, and acknowledged that he had been mislead. Although this has been an interesting study for me. I don't feel like risking another encounter because of how unstable he was. I may not find the the thrill of intelligence and understanding in a "normal" person. And I will miss the challenge. But its not worth it.

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    1. I say fish in another pond next time ;)

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  4. I don't mind being used if the favor is reciprocated to my liking.

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    1. here, here... spoken like a true sociopath

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    2. I am probably not a sociopath, but more like a machiavellian/monk at this point---detached and calculating. I had a habit of calling out sociopaths and had innate hatred against them. I would do lots of diligence before to make sure though. Usually at the end I would be angry about wasting time with these people. On one hand I wasn't sure if I should just cut that person off because I could be wrong and they usually screamed innocent and promised values(baits), and on the other hand, the longer I stayed the more time I wasted. I used to attract sociopath like flies because I was very trusting and believe in forgiving people, but the righteous side of me caused me to always call them out, which created so much power struggles between me and them. Since I am highly intelligent they rarely win but still waste my time though. I wish I could just spot one when I see one and just avoid them from the beginning like how some highly empath would avoid me (I am traumatized so much by childhood and therefore my vibe was kinda sociopathatic but really I am more like PTSD and aspergerish) What a complicated world we live in!

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  5. This is an odd account. What kind of 'thrill of intelligence and understanding' did you find in him if he wasn't even smart enough to get that you are a sociopath, as you say?

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  6. I was referencing the potential. Which I've discovered, he lacked.

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  7. Your whole post is stupid, dear reader and we can clearly see that you have no idea what a sociopath is. Your question is eqivalent to asking what will a certain person do at a certain moment in time. It's impossible to answer. Sociopaths are persons as well not devils or fantastic creatures. They are just a differnt ftom eachother as you normal pitiable fucks. Haha. So, if you want to know what A sociopath will do at some point, go ahead and try it out at your own risk. Haha

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    Replies
    1. pitiable fucks... gotta remember that one...

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    2. Typical. I pity your underdeveloped brain.

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  8. My best "friend" is a legit diagnosed psychopath. I have many tendencies that point towards sociopathy but no official diagnosis (and I don't care anyway). We get along royally.

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  9. I love how everyone always seems to be mind readers here. Like in just reading someone's profile or going out on a date, one can identify a sociopath. Just because they, themself claim to be a "high functioning" one. Lol.

    What if these are just dudes, and they move so fast because they are horny and seeking sex is a numbers game. They're just trying to elicit the 'yes' quickly so they dont have much time invested if it is a 'no' and they can move to the next 'yes'. A guy doesnt have to be a sociopath, he just has to possess a sex drive.

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    1. I agree. I am not particularly sexual driven by anything or anyone. Of course it's nice, but then again not many people deserve to get some from me ;)

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  10. What if they were "just dudes"? Then they would be like everybody else. Their objective would be straight lined. Normal, horny males are at the mercy of their bodies. A sociopathic male is at the mercy of his drive for power. Unlike horny guys they make great listeners. ;D

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    1. How do we know the "sociopaths" that these people talk about are sociopaths? Especially when the only thing "sociopathic" they do is enjoy sex or cheat? These lovefraud bitches want to think all men they date are sociopaths instead of thinking that maybe they just date loser assholes because they are one themself!

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    2. Well... How do we know anything? Without having a doctorate in psychology, or the quick access to a psychologist, we can't technically make any diagnosis at all. I do very much agree that jaded lovers on all sides like to diagnose their scorned relationships. Strong emotion tends to cloud facts, and is why sociopaths can be more perceptive in these areas. In my above post, I tried to convey the distinction between motives. Sociopaths cannot claim sexual gratification, or affairs. Empaths have emotional affairs constantly. Saying that lovefraud bitches want to think all men they date are sociopaths, is a pretty big assumption. Especially coming from someone who's not a lovefraud bitch ;) Just like we can't assume horny men are sociopaths, we can't assume every pissed woman thinks they are. And don't forget! There are loser assholes on all sides of the spectrum. We are all individuals, regardless of our clinical diagnosis.

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  11. having had a sociopathic parent i defendly have an edge (1st)

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    1. So tell us about your experience with your sociopathic parent that gives you this edge. How did you cope? And did you become a sociopath as a result?

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  12. I have discovered through my experience, that we get along fairly well. We team up against people, because we both.find it entertaining. My bf and i get along mostly because we recognize ourselves in eachother. I mean, if you could date someone as awesome as yourself, wouldnt you? We are entertained by the suffering of others and occasionally will target eachothers friends or family as a contest of who is better at the game. Me, in case anyone was wondering.
    Jade

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    1. Yeah, problem is you'd have to watch your own back from your bf all the time too

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    2. LMFAO She seems unable to see that small twist

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    3. Oh i see it, i always watch my back, cant trust anyone! I find it an invigorating challange.
      Jade

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    4. "LMFAO She seems unable to see that small twist"

      LMFAO you seem unable to understand that this "twist" is what draws us to the game. It's what makes this game so much more satisfying than playing with neurotypicals.

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    5. I have yet to meet another socio awesome enough to date. At least I have some time to hone my craft for our daily conquests begin. Just have to stick with lame old not-as-good-as-me socios.

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    6. Yuck, why are you still alive? I hope you get killed.

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    7. You might not actually be better. In the general populace women just get more pity, empathy, forgiveness, and pretty much every tool they need. Men who have properly honed their skill to manipulate are often considered better for this reason and because women are believed to be preprogrammed in an evolutionary stand point to manipulate.

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  13. I'd have to agree with Rembrant on this one. People are people. Personally, I've known several socios. One man I dated was a high functioning one and let me tell you, he really taught me the fine art of manipulating women. We ended up being just friends, as we agreed that dating would make it too tempting for us to destroy each other eventually. I was even his 'wingwoman' on occasion, picking up and destroying girls we didn't like. Best fun ever.
    Also had a girl socio best friend for a while, but both her and I couldn't resist playing games and stealing the other's boyfriends. Still, it was great because we really understood each other and could team up against others. She finally found a man she loved more and that was the end of our friendship, no hard feelings.
    There were a couple of socios that I've been around that I felt an overwhelming urge to expose and destroy and have done almost anything to accomplish it. They are the ones that fucked with someone I care about (the list is pitifully small, but exists nonetheless) and it doesn't matter if I like or understand those socios, they came after one of mine.
    So there you have it... people are people. Some are good, some are bastards. How I interract with them depends on which category they fall in to.

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    1. Right. And your last sentence contradicted your entire post. Which was full of contradictions to begin with.

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    2. How so, Anon? I am just giving examples of interaction I've had with other socios. Care to enlighten me on some of your own experiences?

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  14. Replies
    1. Thank you, my dear. Quite lovely.

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  15. I am going to give an update on moi for the .000001 % of you who care.
    My socio g/f and I are fine. We have a sweet relationship in my mind. I got very close to a super empath but he could not deal with my religious beliefs and dumped me. But through all this, I have come to see that my sociopath relative was limited emotionally. I am starting to see that she had a handicap. She did not set out to destroy me. She loves me a great deal. She did not have the proper tools for mothering.

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    1. Hi Monika, what about your religious beliefs was his problem? Re your relative's/mother's handicap, I wonder if she is truly a sociopath considering that she genuinely loves you and did not intend to hurt you. People can be self absorbed or inadequate in their parenting for many reasons...

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    2. Monica/Ami/Erin is talking about her mother that sexually abused her.

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    3. I follow the Bible which is out of step with modern society one could say. Yes, probably not a real sociopath. Thank you Anon.

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  16. how is it that everyone here is so good at picking out the sociopaths when they excel in their ability to blend in and go unnoticed? :(

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    1. It's because we are obviously better (If that makes sense) at being Sociopaths then them.

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    2. Haha, yeah right. I recognize a sociopath when I see one. Thing is not to say anything about it to them. You have their secret and they can do nothing about it when you spring it on them.

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  17. there are no high functioning sociopaths there are crimimal and subcriminal what most ppl call highfunctioning is someone that wouldend make 30 on pcl-r

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  18. Dearest Reader,

    Yes, I often recognize others (I wouldn't know if this is always or sometimes). Once people know they're place, it can be quite pleasant to interact with another p/s type on occasion. Generally, this has worked out for me, providing that our flags are clearly planted on projects, people, etc. Immediately establish that you are alpha and will respect their ownership of the leftover property once you've picked through it.

    It is nice that you have found someone on your intellectual level. Do they misuse the word "reinstate," as well?

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    1. Pythias, "their" place :)

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    2. Oops, good thing I didn't suggest I have intellectual superiority. :)

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    3. ALpha Sociopath... hmmm.... I think I should start a club.

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  19. "Forgive me" is not something real sociopaths ever say.
    If a sociopath gets arrested for robbing your house, raping your dog or strangling your toddler to death for fun then honestly believe they are being persecuted.

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    1. Loads of manipulative fuckers say "forgive me"

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    2. I would never believe I am being persecuted. I think the most dangerous sociopaths are the ones whom don't understand that there are consequences for, say, strangling toddlers (If you get caught), or at least why said consequences exist.

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  20. Does a borderline know how to do intimacy?

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    Replies
    1. "stfu idiot." Aw, you're jealous!

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  21. EnjoyingTheSiteForAWhileNowMarch 16, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    I find it easy to spot other socios; I even socialise on a regular basis with a group of them (we participate in a sport that seems tailor made for us). The difference is that we know not to expect any of the neuro-typical outside activities or contact that usually accompany sporting groups. It is refreshing not to have to make that pretence. We collectively don't care about anything else but the task at hand and we're all cool with that. Meeting socios outside of this common-interest group though... note and avoid. They're just not as useful.

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    1. What sport do you play... If it's tailor made for our kind of people, I really want to play. Is it debating? rugbey?Hunting? ...BLOODSPORTS.?.

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  22. I think a lot of people, men especially, put up a sociopathic front. Displaying one's emotions is a biological sign of weakness, so around their teenage years men learn to control how they appear outwardly. This also has something to do with testosterone. The higher the testosterone, the more emotionally-lacking you appear.

    I'm not a sociopath. For a while I thought I may be one, but I have a conscience. I have an extremely high level of intelligence, so throughout my life I've always been able to see the bullshit of, really, 50% of gen pop's moral beliefs. But I suspect that some people on here may mistake me for a sociopath, based on how quickly they seem to be able to "diagnose".

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  23. I am not a sociopath and you all seem very self important to me. My experience with sociopaths is limited to one woman who relentlessly beats her kids and believes she didn't do anything wrong. In fact they are the ones who did it to themselves because they did that thing to upset her. Too bad she's my stepchildren's mother. The damage to those kids is irreversible and if a sociopath were really that smart she should be caring for the well being of her children's mental health because someday they will pick her nursing home :D

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    1. First of all, this is INCREDIBLY ignorant. Second of all, your claim that if she were "really that smart she should be caring for the well being of her children" is comepletely unrelated. Socio's Don't Care. They are independant and don't rely on others. Her children wont be picking her nursing home. She will be. Personally, I'm never having kids for that reason, dependancy is stupid.

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  24. I personally enjoy being around other sociopaths for a short time. They provide an entertaining challenge of the wits that normal people simply cannot supply. It's almost like they understand it. I dated another socio for a while, and while in hindsight the relationship was incredible dangerous and unhealthy. (he was quite violent, not that I wasn't to.) It was exciting and interesting and he kept me on my toes.

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  25. As a high functioning individual, I make a amazingly fun game out of messing with a hand full of the low functioning types. For instance, I will use the disguise of a very submissive and shy individual, then absolutely confuse the hell out of them with witty conversation and contradictory reactions. I quite enjoy it. A nice change from boring old empaths.

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  26. My best friend since childhood and I are both higher functioning sociopaths, and I often think of him as a influence upon my own development since about the age of 12. We have great respect for one another, and often share stories and methods of our exploits in our mostly separate lives. It must sound like the strangest relationship, for the if one was to harm the other it would not end well for either of us (No empathy = Seriously harming of closest friend acceptable). Its always nice to here from a person who isn't irrational from time to time.

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  27. I have to admit I found the replies more interesting than the post (it was interesting too, no worries). That is until some of you started mentioning how sociopaths are just horny guys labeled such by women who were disappointed in them.

    Maybe for some that is true, I don't care. But methinks whoever said that is simply a tad too angry at women because they find him undesirable, imho. What's the matter, bro? Is someone feeling a little sore in the ego? ;)

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  28. Often another people seem to us more 'normal' than ourselves, but you should see that they can be as anxious as you are at a times. We're all te same.

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  29. Ok first of all this website is pathetic. "sociopath" doesn't even exist. Its just a modern way of saying someone who is self serving to the point of hurting others feelings. And wow what a fucking LAWL to the dumb slut on the dating website. Hahah you fail.

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  31. I'm shocked that a sociopath website can be this boring and pointless. You don't even learn anything from the creator, or the readers. It seems like everyone is just a sociopath wannabe and if that's the case... they're walking targets.

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    1. Tell me about it. The only thing they agree on is how "important" they are and that empaths are "evil". So childish! But hey, they think they're cool. I know a lot of people who think that way but are freaking losers.

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    2. LOL@walking targets.

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  32. Sociopaths with similar tastes can create a magic bond. King and Queen of earth type bond. You never have to lie..everything in the world makes sense. Shame my queen just found out she was a sociopath and her denial prevents me from explaining to her that she could live like a vampire. Perhaps a self aware sociopath..with a code..or True Lie is more deserving of my epiphany.

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  33. In case the message wasn't clear. I am THE sociopath. Destroying my soulmate with a superior queen would lead to much coveting. I am unbreakable tho..true harmony with the universe. So I want students..not potential victims/predators. I am at peace.

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  34. Must be little, beautiful and sickeningly sweet. A "victim" mentality sociopath woman who crushes men with guilt. Must like Mac Miller and Slipknot equally. It would start as replacing her but evolve into conquering her,as I've learned. You'll literally feel like queen of earth.

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  35. A closed circle...let universal truth fill in the blanks.

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  36. I have two sociopathic family members, a niece and a nephew. They got the insanity from the Dad. They never got along with anyone for very long. They have few (if any) friends. They don't get along with people. They do not get along with each other. Anyone who tells you they can is a sociopath (liar). Sociopaths love to live in their own delusions that everybody loves them, but it's the exact opposite.

    Sociopaths don't get along with anyone. They rub people the wrong way constantly. Very anti-social. They are not lovable people. They are con artists. Unlike narcissists, they aren't very good at the cloak and dagger approach and they get discovered fairly quickly. They are destructive. They repeat patterns.They bounce from place to place when they wear out their welcome.

    From adolescence, my sisters children were so ignorant and so rude. They bickered and fought over everything (and I mean everything) everyday. It was much more than sibling rivalry. Everything with them in life is a battle, including each other. Even though they are cut from the same cloth. You would think they would be close, like twin stars.

    Example: They'd fight over who got to ride shotgun in the car every time they got in the damn car. I'd have to put them both in the backseat. They fight over it again the next day. Again I put them both in the backseat. It never once occurred to them that neither would get the front seat. They would battle for it every time they got back in a car. They have a maturity of a two year old.

    They were always hostile and disruptive driving us non's in the family crazy having them around. We pretty much keep them at a great distance because they are so angry and disruptive. They aren't wanted around our kids (very bad influence).

    As adults, they do not associate with one another. No one can stand them and they can't stand each other, either.

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  37. So sociopaths admit to getting joy out of hurting people... well then, why don't we just get rid of them all? I don't see a problem with that. They are a liability to everyone.

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  38. I'm a super sayin 4 sociopath,

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  40. I don't care for control...except when I don't have it.

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  41. This place is full of pathetic high school children who watched every Dexter episode four or five times too many. Fakes giving the real thing a bad name. Only positive is likely anyone who reads this thinks the real thing is this transparent or doesn't even exist. Like the saying about Satan's greatest achievement, not the best but apt.

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    1. I agree. I thought real sociopaths didnt give a shit. Or were unable to give a shit. So why would one write on here asking for advice. Or even giving advice.

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    2. I agree. I thought real sociopaths didnt give a shit. Or were unable to give a shit. So why would one write on here asking for advice. Or even giving advice.

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