A reader asks me about mirrors:
A blog follower of yours mentioned mirrors once. He/she said that they are fascinated by mirrors and treat them almost like it was another person; not themselves, but someone else they can converse with. (at least that's what I think they said) I only ask because I would have to agree with this particular sentiment. I too do not see myself when I look in a mirror, but something more like a friend who speaks for me, who wears my mask, who is my flack jacket whenever I need her. Do you ever feel this way? If this is getting too off-topic, no worries, I understand.M.E.: Mirrors are funny. Sometimes if i am having an emotion, crying at some sappy movie, etc., and I am alone, I'll go to a mirror to study my reaction. It is endlessly fascinating to me to see my face reflect what appears to be true joy, to see a tear rolling down my cheek, or to see what my death stare looks like. Other times when i see myself in the mirror, i have the sensation of wanting to seduce myself, to be physically intimate with my reflection. (Interestingly, Sam Vaknin thinks narcissists are prone to molesting their family members for this reason: "The narcissist is auto-erotic. He is the preferred object of his own sexual attraction. His siblings and his children share his genetic material. Molesting or having intercourse with them is as close as the narcissist gets to having sex with himself.") I wonder if these things are really that abnormal, though. don't you think many people indulge in these mirror games?
As for mirrors, I'm not sure how many people feel the same strange kinship to the people they see staring back. I guess it could be just a reflection without personality or interest for some people. But how many people openly recognize how they act in front of a mirror? I'd say a high level of self awareness is needed. I think I am very self aware and perhaps that is why i look in a mirror so often - I want to be sure the look on my face is appropriate for the occasion. I need to make sure my sad face is sad enough. The same with my concerned face. I've been told I suffer from eternal bitchface - even if things are sunkissed and roses in my mind, my face is often stuck in an eyebrow-arching evil queen from Snow White expression. Practicing my softer expressions takes constant practice if I want to seem interested or pleasant. And the little narcissist in me can't stand to constantly be seen with a sour expression on my face. I'm much prettier when I smile - even if I don't want to.