What's going to become of M.E.? Will she eventually become bored withher "cause?" I don't know if sociopaths are as "trendy" now. I suggested that she "reveal" herself and/or write another book. I also suggestedthat she mentor Casey Anthony which would also be fodder for a second book.I'm glad that M.E. IS mentoring Casey Anthony. Casey was sighted at the Tampa airport the other day. Casey probably reached out to M.E. in a secret way. I always thought that M.E. would have to come to K.C. It never ocurred tome that Casey would go to her. Happy ending either way. I'm glad I played a rolein it.
Sweeie pie, there probably ain't no secrets between her and Casey via airport. Try Olanzapine 5mg, it might help with the delusional thinking. My good friend is on 20mg. He's such a kind soul, just lives with delusions, but I really respect him. .Bless you.
So, in your delusion, M.E. is in Florida? I thought it was pretty well known she's in... California, wasn't it?
I think that in this case, it would be respectful not to discuss M.E.'s location. In reality, she could be anywhere in this world.
I always imagined M.E. to be like carmen sandiego and Chasey Anthony being a sick piece of shit. The amount of compassion i have for childkillers are very limited.
"Happy ending either way. I'm glad I played a role in it."Does this mean we are finally done with this?"Chasey Anthony being a sick piece of shit." Well said - I, for one, don't care where M. E. is - I do, however, wish her well wherever she is.
* Again, I didn't click on reply in this thread. I like putting things where they belong, so here it goes:"I always imagined M.E. to be like carmen sandiego and Chasey Anthony being a sick piece of shit. The amount of compassion i have for childkillers are very limited."Anon,I understand the way you feel about child killers. I, for one, have zero compassion for child murderers, in general (i.e., zero, not just very limited). As to your comment about M.E., life is a journey which tests us in many ways, one of which has to do with having a noble heart/respect. I know that learning/understanding this at one point or another is essential. Here is a thought on that, and I agree with/relate to it: “A noble heart cannot suspect in others the pettiness and malice that it has never felt.”─ J.R.So, to be clear, I am repeating in this comment what I wrote in my last comment at 4:23 AM. I believe that it makes a lot of sense.
For the sake of being told apart from all the other anons i named myself anon1 or anonymous 1... I don't have thoughts about m.e., just saw the carmen sandiego intro and thought it'd be cool if carmen sandiego where m.e. maybe cause someone posted" where in the world is m.e." i hope reading this comment isn't as boring writing it but i still end it here (well mabe here ->
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? sociopathworld.comMy last unfulfilled childhood dream - to find, once and for all, the elusive and brilliant villain in the red coat - has at last been fulfilled.Thanks, SW. I can now die happy.
Darien,The creation of the red violin is one of my favorite parts. Some of the best words are: "He'll live for music." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFFmaklfFfI
I hope there won't be the classical "nobody is responsible for their actions" argument... responsibility has nothing to do with emotions about it.
But most voters in an election feel victorious if they won or pissed off if they lost?
Maybe not. But they always feel special.
I'm a little tiny snowflake. If I push REALLY hard . . .
I thought I posted a lengthy message with the tone of 'keep SW weird' yesterday and I don't see it anymore. Has anyone seen it?:) Funny, huh?
I responded and it's still there - we went over 200 posts, so you have to "Load More."I saw this in the Huffinglue Post - it only tangentially related to today's post, but I think it's a funny perspective on being a "unique and special snowflake." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/03/snowflakes-35-different-shapes-infographic_n_6401274.html?utm_hp_ref=science
Oh, boy, that's funny. Thank you, HLH. You'd think that an SW veteran like me would've remembered to look for 'load more.'I was afraid I'd take some flack from bot you and SS, but I guess all fine. Cool. Looks like everybody cool, I may have been redundant, but hey, I had to be me too.HLH, you made me laugh with the 'Huffinglue,"where did that come from?Really enjoyed learning more about the shapes of snowflakes. I have a favorite shape now.I'm quite shocked with the successful in and out of these French shooters. I mean, just like that. What has it all come down to.Also shocking was the 15 year old girl killing her 16 year old brother with a gun with the help of her 11 year old sister while having in the house a 3 year old and both parents off on some trucking trip (and apparently mom was pregnant to the oldest sun at 16 herself, her age 33 and husband 37). Guns have such a speedy way of resolving imbalance towards a different kind of imbalance. It's getting to a point one better have one to protect the self. I never thought I'd say this but if the other snowflakes have guns...
Hi Sceli,Huffinglue Post - I'm glad you liked it. I play that sort of game with all sorts of stuff: There's Home Despot and Blowes for all my hardware needs and for books it's Barns and Ignobel. Just another way to get a chuckle. The whole SFBA got the treatment years ago - The snowflakes are fun...guns...they are a tool of violence, but only one of many. They make for easier impulse killing, but they aren't the only way to get the job done. Having said that, having military weapons (e.g. AK-47's) in civilian hands might not make for the most stable of systems the way I see it. It will drive an arms race with the police driving towards militarization which doesn't go well for the vast majority of the population in the long run.At least that's my not very humble opinion.
Hi again Sceli,You asked where Huffinglue Post came from. As a kid I used to get these stickers - I had almost forgotten about them. I think I've played this game ever since.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wacky_Packages
:)Good to keep that child within alive...Thank you.
"Good to keep that child within alive..."Sceli,In what way are you referring to this? This would be a good discussion, since I believe that there are different perspectives/takes on this idea.
Snowflakes don't feel anything.
Hi, everybdoy. I need help interpreting something. I was reading an earlier reference on The Dark Triad Woman/Lucifer's Daughters.http://illimitablemen.com/2014/02/17/lucifers-daughter/Somewhere in the middle it says:"If you are weak or temporarily weak due to an exposure of vulnerability or mitigating circumstance, the Lucifer’s daughter will expose the full height of her power, downplaying subtlety and indirectness for a more obnoxious and bullying approach. However if you are psychologically powerful, well positioned or otherwise popular she will prefer to puppeteer you rather than colonise you. A Lucifer’s daughter will make powerful people desire her so that they want to help her by conscious choice. To achieve this she will not be ostentatiously manipulative, instead opting for incredibly seductive charm. To do this they feed the ego, they massage it and try to turn themselves into a source of dopamine for the powerful target, they need “an in” and the path of least resistance to making a powerful target learn addiction to them is through manipulation of the ego, rather than bombard you negatively they will bombard you positively."The use of puppeteer rather than colonise. Can someone please explain these two terms in the given context above?
I think they are both forms of manipulation, chosen only after careful observation of the prospect. Puppeteering is subtle, behind the scenes, a quiet seduction. As for colonizing, I agree with HL. It's direct....it taunts, it challenges, it's aggressive.
"..to puppeteer you..." means they are going to get a powerful man to do something for them by manipulating them into doing it."Colonise" means they are going to pressure or bully a man into doing something for them.
I read "puppeteer" to be more about manipulation while "colonize" would be a more direct, overpowering use of force (e.g. bullying or fear tactics). Other thoughts?
I read your remarks and the original statement one more time. Still having a lack of clear understanding. But, some faint differentiation, one of which is the level of honesty/transparency in the picture could be stated as follows (or NOT, you tell me).When one colonizes one has no need to hide what one is doing--one is ready to go in and grab rights and set rules without needing to worry about appearing/being responsible for the change in behavior.Whereeas puppeteering is more like you are causing change in behavior and you have no intention of taking responsibility for the change openly (but deep down you're so proud that you made it happen).
Hi Sceli,Sounds to me like you've got it. I'm not sure transparency is really all that critical per se. To me it really boils down to direct influence versus indirect influence.A simple example of puppeteering might be a child to covertly damage a siblings toy, knowing that a parent might feel inclined to replace it. At that time, the kid pulling the strings might suggest they get a new toy to keep everything fair - and getting a new toy was really the goal. Upsetting the sibling was just a means to an end - and maybe a bonus...An example of colonization might be someone that has, usually over time, been cowed into doing what they are told. So, to go along with the child example above, kid would find a way to push the parents buttons directly. The kid might throw a tantrum to get the toy - maybe picking a time when the kid knows the parent is more likely to give in (e.g. fighting with the other parent, time pressure, etc.).My son's current favorite game is what I call "Doing a Ghandi" - passive resistance. He is trying to get us to bribe him to do what we want him to do. I mostly laugh, but Ma gets down right testy behind it.
:)Didn't help... Hilarious... I really am lost on this notion.I'm thinking colonization in terms of countries, I guess.. like getting in power, full control, forcing your rules over theirs. Meaning creating a territry of yours, and certainly happening out in the open, no hiding. In this regard a parent could be colonizing when he is tyrannical. And, yes, could or could not be in transparency, or to some victims it could be transparent to some not.puppeteering is more sneaky, behind the scenes, but that also is obvious/transparent to some and not to others.OK... I kind of tired myself out on that one. But, coming back to that article,"However if you are psychologically powerful, well positioned or otherwise popular she will prefer to puppeteer you rather than colonise you."my feelings is that if I'm psychologically powerful, she will have no chance of colonizing me and/or puppeteering me, unless I'm of course sticking to this 'noble heart' notion SS brought up. But, I would not do it with a Lucifer's Daughter, because she's already seen that as weakness in me.On that note, SS, this is what I was trying to say in an earlier post in terms of the way you're relating to some of the worldly concepts. Like you, I used to be so unaware that this 'noble heart' thing was pouring out of me in every which direction, which was making me a socio-magnet. Having black-and-white system of what's right what's not (which is also a part of that naivete) was helpful in protecting me, but over time I decided to become aware and let go of that naivete, noble-heart, black-and-white thinking, and that way I'm much better prepared to live better on this earth than in the former naive format. I can still pull a noble-heart if I want to but that's the thing, to be able to determine 'if and when you want to' you need to be able to assess the beast sitting acroos and that right there is not going to happen with naivete. So, keep pushing for your 'noble-heart' statements and views, but I really am hoping that over time you are also having enough exposure here in SW at least, to also 'no-noble-heart' bs (and, sorry, SS, like HLH called it once as we mature we see bs and we call it bs, so some of what you're saying will definitely register as bs, not on your part but on the realities of the earth we live on). It's a beautiful thing to be able to smell bs, identify bs, say bs. And, while at it make that ms (more shit) and PhD (piled high and deep), yeyyyy....
From the standpoint of the article, Lucifer's daughter would have more to gain by getting a powerful target to do things indirectly than by trying to overpower them. To overpower them risks the wrath/rejection/ire of those that make the target powerful (e.g. fans, subjects, etc.).OK - I won't bore you with it further. It seems so clear to me and seem so close to getting it... 8)~
:) You're far from boring, darling (a movie quote?)I remember a Lucifer's daughter gf who thought she was a bipolar and was occasionally being medicated for it and usually she was medicating herself by bing-drinking, and then going into these rounds of juice-detoxing and seriously believeing she was a very healthy eater.Anyhow, at the beginning of the relationship she would simply state a problem she was facing (nothing major, say something like I'll go out but I don't have a matching purse kind of thing) and I would voluntarily jump in and do my best to help her with the problem. Then when I one day needed something, let's say exactly the same thing her reaction was something like 'why don't you go to Saks Fifth Evenue, there are personal shoppers there who can help.' See, that's all one really needs to hear to get into this 'hmmm, let me test the grounds here.' So, after that whenever she stated a problem of hers I simply listened (no offering of any help). It was really something else to watch her try her puppeteering. She'd bring the same thing up the next day. I'd again, simply listen, as if I'm a f-ing retard who's not aware that she could use my help. Then, one day she got enough alcohol in her system that she got boisterous and plain out asked for my help. To that I said 'oh, I wish you asked earlier, but sorry, can't do because ...."Eventually, she realized there really was no way she'd get anything else, and she moved on, leaving nothing to miss behind (big mistake, gotta give something that makes people miss you).
This whole, leaving ID behind in the car (first it was in the office)... I got the feeling someone (French police?) is not telling the truth but the whole truth.How come no one is talking about how idiot and not fitting it is? I mean, praising these guys for their calm and speedy execution and then leaving a card behind? Like, for call back? Duhhh?
Glad to hear it sweetie. 8)~LOL! Your LGF sounds like quite the drama queen - and drama is all about attention and control. Yeah - I've seen those sorts of "health nuts." The one that cracks me up is "of course I'm healthy - I'm skinny" but completely ignoring the iron deficiency and swinging blood sugar problems and... That sort of manipulation is just plain insulting to me, really. I don't even mind getting gamed sometimes if it's done well - I can even admire it. But to just assume I'm a sucker is annoying. In that situation, though, the "bulls-eye response" would have to be "you know who was really helpful to me? The folks over at Saks Fifth Avenue. That was great advice you gave me." But it has to be delivered with complete Pollyanna innocence for full effect.
:)Not then but at another time I did pull one of those Polyanna's. By the way, your line 'I'm not a doctor but talk like one on the Internet' keeps cracking me up... (Reminds me myself, I guess)
Glad to hear you managed to get a couple in. It's always sad when a story has the phrase, "what I should have said was..." The look on their face must have been priceless - 8)~I'm glad you enjoyed that - looking back, I meant to strike the first disclaimer. It's just soooo easy to sound like a know it all - especially on the internet.Was it Hemingway that said, "there's no such think as good writing. Only good re-writing"?
By the by - the whole facebook thing is a lot of fun. I'm enjoying the additional discussion. Create a profile and get in on it - you don't have to upload a picture. we can talk smack on the side. >8D~
what facebook thing?
Sceli,I believe that we were referring to different things in our comments yesterday. The noble heart quote did not have to do with the subjects of colonization or puppeteering, and I didn't mean for it to be seen within that context. In fact, I didn't mean to puppeteer or to colonize anyone. Instead, I meant to tell Anon not to suspect such things about M.E., because it would be petty and malicious in this particular case (i.e., "suspect in others the pettiness and malice."). I know myself, my views having been formed throughout the years. What you see as "naive" in me is actually a great deal of strength. In my opinion, the grey areas/beliefs that a person holds are more indicative of naivete (i.e., doubt), since knowing whether one thing is black or white forms a position of strength, providing that these formed beliefs are right/not malicious. I hope that I have made my point more clear. At the same time, I can also see your point within the context and topic that you approached/discussed.
Hi Damaged,DoA used her feminine charms to convince me to create a Facebook page for Harry Haller (a couple of glasses of wine didn't hurt either...). 8)~I'm enjoying it because it's easy to post pictures and I can have a "conversation" with just that person - a fun way to change things up. My first foray into anti-social networking as it were -
Stay Smart: Thinking in terms of black and white indicates a pathological need for explicitly expressed security mechanisms. Whether it is naive or not depends on the person's basic personality characteristics. For example, If I personally were to begin thinking more in terms of black and white, that would signal to me that I am perceiving a loss of control, and am coping by falling back on the type of thinking that formed the basis of my -naive- childhood worldview. However, for another person, black-and-white thinking may be a secure worldview, and movement toward grey-area thinking might indicate insecurity leading to uncertainty. As with most things, it's all relative.HLHaller: anti-social networking. Lol
Darien,I see strength in my own, personally-devised black and white thinking, and when I say so, I am referring to my focal, core beliefs (i.e., the inner blueprint to what makes me who I am today). I have taken the core-scaffolding and built on that throughout the years. I strongly believe in it. I don't equate it to insecurity or to being naive. When I think of loss of control, I see a powerful shaking or sheer disarrangement of my inner blueprint, which would lead to uncertainty. Simultaneously, I do understand relativity, and, due to the way life is, one does encounter unknown areas. After all, life is an ongoing learning experience.
Question: Off topic. I went to my dads doc today to try to get some supports in place for him. I told the doc that my dad acts like the classic borderline, but hes been high functioning through life. He then proceeded to tell me, he's probably borderline with some aspergers. (lower end spectrum aspergers) Has anyone known anyone with a combination like this? Or is it common with borderline.
Nope, but I know someone who's antisocial, borderline, bipolar and add. They aren't in prison, so they're probably fine.
Hi DoA,First, I will say that I think that the classification system we are using is - and I am being as nice and polite as I can - crap. The high degree of comorbidity among all of the "disorders" they don't seem to do much good other than give docs something to bill against.But, I'm not in that field - a more informed opinion would be interesting.So, having said, that I think what you are describing is possible and a close example might be James Fallon. Hell, I have some traits that are more often associated with Asperger's - e.g. tactile issues, a bit of a compulsion with patterns and I would say that of the DSM classifications, I qualify best as BPD (but one can make a case for ASPD as well - again, not very helpful).I see BPD being mostly about difficulty regulating emotions whereas Asp is more about difficulties with cognitive empathy while affective empathy is more or less in tact (and a host of other stuff that seems to come along for the ride...). So, given that, I don't see why the two conditions can't occur together.But I am not a doctor - I just talk like one on the internet. ;p
I am a functioning BPD. I have only the attachment part, so when someone leaves I will become a bit weepy. It is very controllable with utilizing DBT skills and continuing with a therapist if issues arise. Otherwise, I live a very fruitful life.
Omg, my dam comment got deleted when I tried to post it. I don't have the energy to write it out again; but I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks. I do enjoy listening to everyone's views on such topics.
Will visit later. At work.
I never said that M.E. was in Florida. I said that Casey is probably coming tovisit M.E. in Salt Lake City. They are probably colaberating on a new book.Working together. It's good for M.E. AND Casey.It gives M.E. a new focus and provides her with an alturistic sense of "mission."It also helps Casey, as she finds that there is HOPE because someone-asuccesful person-is willing to take a chance on her, and help "salvage" her.It jibes with M.E.'s personality. She's not above telling "little white lies" toaccomplish her objectives. She WILL help Casey, or at the very lest, "employ"her.
Why employ a child killer?
Honey, you need to fight what's real and what delusional thinking. It feels real because it's in your brain. I understand. But I reassure you ME and Casey are not meeting together. I know it's what you want; you care for her, but really try to focus on other things as well. Casey will be fine... she's got help through the system probably. And her identity is probably changed for her own protection.
Somebody help me- I genuinely am not sure whether this person is trolling or not.
I promised someone I would be nice...but, I will say that if Daughter of Anarchy is a troll, she is terrible at it (and well grounded in reality...). 8)~
I like thoughts on responsibility. Here are a few that I would like to add:“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work.” ― A.R. “Men who reject the responsibility of thought and reason can only exist as parasites on the thinking of others.” ― A.R.“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.” ― C.S.L.
Sociopaths should "come out" & say to the world "-Were just friendly socios that wanna spread sunshine everywhere!" They should be on TV-shows doing cute stuff. Fishing in Alaska with Craig the loveable psycho. Baking with Aunt Tilly and her beady-eyed friends. Mystery man "The Bee-Keeper" visits castles and speak to ghosts with little empathy using witch-board..
I really dig that idea, Anon.
"I always imagined M.E. to be like carmen sandiego and Chasey Anthony being a sick piece of shit. The amount of compassion i have for childkillers are very limited."Anon,I understand the way you feel about child killers. I, for one, have zero compassion for child murderers, in general (i.e., zero, not just very limited). As to your comment about M.E., life is a journey which tests us in many ways, one of which has to do with having a noble heart/respect. I know that learning/understanding this at one point or another is essential. Here is a thought on that, and I agree with/relate to it: “A noble heart cannot suspect in others the pettiness and malice that it has never felt.”─ J.R.So, to be clear, I am repeating in this comment what I wrote in my last comment at 4:23 AM. I believe that it makes a lot of sense.
True story about a noble heart, but a person who has never felt it after a while must see it and take responsibility at some point. Do you agree or disagree? If a socio watches a person crying, do they understand that? If so, how does one walk away?
Anon,Yes, I agree that a person can eventually see it and take responsibility at some point in time. Sure, it can be done, but the willingness to do so has to be there, and then acted upon.
Sometimes a person just needs to do the right thing. You must love someone more than you love yourself. Just as I did for my Mr. Shades of Grey. - Azelia
Azelia, doing the right thing is essential in life, especially when connecting to real people as opposed to things/objects. "You must love someone more than you love yourself. Just as I did for my Mr. Shades of Grey."What do you mean, or how do you, personally, see this?
Ok, lets see how I can explain this. If someone is sick and you stay up with them until they are feeling better and you go sleep deprived. It is more important to make sure the person is feeling better than to get sleep. Have you watched Good Will Hunting? Watch the park scene. "You have to love someone more than you love yourself". Someone's needs come before your own if you truly love them. Make sense?
Lose yourself in generous service and every day can be a most unusual day, a triumphant day, an abundantly rewarding day!William Arthur WardRead more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/generous.html#EPeHeLCUiHBgcj2y.99
There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate.Robert FrostRead more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/generous_2.html#FIiBVh3MgUJKGDh7.99
"Good Will Hunting"....Yes, I know that scene, and it is quite moving and powerful, the words spoken with so much depth...and awakening passion for life:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvD6coI0DEwhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_miS8YuWWo
"The Red Violin" is one of my favorite movies. I can recall every scene in it.
"You have to love someone more than you love yourself."The thought and feeling carry much profundity - absolute noble and admirable in every way.
It is what I believe to be true.
I will have to watch "The Red Violin". :)
* I meant to type absolutely noble in the previous comment.Generosity: sowing a seed, but it must be a true seed for it to grow. "Be the change you want to see in the world."http://synchronicityandsubculture.com/djb-articles/has-the-democratisation-of-dance-music-morphed-into-a-tyranny/
Anon,I am being curious. Why did you include this part "Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/generous.html#EPeHeLCUiHBgcj2y.99" as well? You did the same in the second comment at 12:48 PM. Sometimes, the answer is simple while at other times, it is not. Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/generous.html#EPeHeLCUiHBgcj2y.99
It was put in accidently.
Anon,On second thought, here is an "alternative," albeit suitable, reply to that "Good Will Hunting" park scene (i.e., or even a response to the "criticism" of others in some places): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0Iv28yYMCc
Stay Smart, you are so smart and wise! How did you get to be this way?
I gave you a two-fold reply(ies) to the "Good Will Hunting" park scene, because Sean is saying/doing two separate/opposite things during that "speech." Real love? Watch "Love Story." Granted, it is an older movie, but it fully embodies the words (i.e., well, the one side of his "speech") spoken by Sean in the "Good Will Hunting" park scene. Any couple/partners out there would be able to understand or feel that, since, after all, it is all about the connection. No matter how you look at it, some movies are immortal.
Stay Smart: I was beginning to think "The Red Violin" was a figment of my imagination. Glad someone else appreciates it.
* Encore, but here it is, in this particular thread. Darien,The movie is special to me. It has to do with my memories in real life. It also relates to my creations.
This is unrelated to the blog entry but the BBC is airing a program called "Psychopathy: A Necessary Business Skill?" tomorrow. Or maybe today with the time difference.http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02fzjhbI didn't know where to post it.
Thanks Damaged - gonna try to catch it (tomorrow). If anyone finds a link - post it.
Hi Harry,I tried to look into the laws regarding L-Trp and 5-HTP in europe, but it turned out to be much less lucid than what I had thought. I'm quite confused by the regulations, but I'll share anyways what I've found so far.There seem to be official guidelines from the EG for dietary supplements, but I have no clue whether they are mandatory in all european countries or not. Each country seems to decide on their own what they want to allow and what not.Austria states in the NEMV [x] that it allows only those listed as supplements in the EG-guideline for dietary supplements [x] in foods.Didn't see amino acids on that list (might have over-looked it tho, the letters start to play tricks on my eyes...).The only Austrian laws I found mentioning L-Trp directly are one about baby-food [x] and one about labeling requirements [x], the latter indicating L-Trp is rather seen as a drug and would therefore require a prescription...I couldn't find reliable information on 5-HTP in Austrian laws, but it seems to be banned in Germany.There seems to be a L-Trp medicinal preparation available over here called Kalma, it's leaflet [x] states it requires prescription and is only obtainable in pharmacies. According to this leaflet only with 20 or 50 pills. The price is quite high, about 19 or 31 €.I've included the links 'cos I'm no jurist and probably you or someone else on here is less confused by all those §'s. I will try to look a bit more into it tho - but first I got to study for the exams...Funniest thing I learned today: Window-glass is actually liquid, not crystal - a very, very viscous liquid.
Hi NM,Wow! Sounds like you all are as wrapped around the axel as we are. What I recall from the late 1980's/early1990's is that one supplier of L-Trp a separation process go wrong and some people died. Since SSRI and all of the related drugs were coming down the pipeline fast and fierce, it is believe that the failure was cause enough to push to curb sales of the supplements. There are those that say that Big Pharma was concerned that it would eat into the profits. 5-HTP was released to market as a way to get around the L-Trp law.At least that's how I recall it - as someone I used to work with would say, I've slept since then.How's the puppy?
Also - I'm not sure about that whole glass thing. It's one of those "ideas" that seems to hang on in spite of mounting evidence that it's not true. Glass is actually an amphorous solid (spelling?) - no real order, but from a rheological perspective, it's a solid - not a liquid.There was a time when they would point to the fact that many of the stained glass windows had "heavier" bottoms. However, I believe that's it's been shown that it was not "flow" but rather "choice" on the part of the craftsman...Ask your professor about it - I'm interested to hear his comment.
Hi Harry,Sorry for the late reply - life's been busy.Laws over here are altogether rather a big PR game, politics tryin' to keep the folks calm and satisfied as in "but we did do something for your safety!" so I'm not really surprised.About the glass thing - the professor actually used the example with glass windows getting denser or heavier over time, we were talking 'bout vitrification and other cryotechnology stuff, tho we had only a one hour lecture so he probably didn't want to go into detail with that. He called it amorphous solid. I'll try to ask him 'bout this, it's interesting indeed.Puppy is doin' great, she learned already sit, down and that she has to stay on her bed when I tell her to. Very intelligent puppy.
No worries NM -I remember university - good times...good times.The link below does nice job of going over the discussion. It comes down to how viscous is viscous. Having worked with the folks at Corning, I'm inclined to give their take on it some credence. http://www.cmog.org/article/does-glass-flowHere's a fun blurb on an experiment that has been going for a while for a little contrast.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitch_drop_experiment
More stereotype socio. The action-movie Sabotage features an interesting smaller fictive female "cop gone bad" psychopath character which seems to have been "pondered" a lot before being launched? THIS is exactly the stereotype part so many "pretend/wanna be" socios like to play, in fact its so well done I´d say its even how many suspected (female of course) "real articles" seem to wanna present themselves: crazed tittering violent bitch/degenerate. I dont hate stereotypes. I dont hate Hannibal. Someone even once commented that my writing had similar "cold qualities" as his calmer speeches. If Dracula is played well, Dracula is interesting. Is the mentioned action movie-character better than the famous portrait in Fatal Attraction (I know someone likes the film made from that old french costume drama too)..?
I think the actress name is Mirelle Enos..as great as Glenn?
In unlikely event sheep evolved intelligence, would they breed wolves? As pets? As guardians. Just out of boredom with being sheep. Pity the wolf who cried "sheep!" when there were only cougars in fur coats.
That already happened.
Let's get real here. Let's examine what we know about M.E. and the "history"of this blog.When the blog originated, it had a "different look" then it does now. It had a blackbackround with white writing. The blog was concieved along the same lines as"Love Fraud." It listed the traits of the Sociopathic personality and offered help.We didn't know M.E.'s idenity as yet. The portrait of "M.E." was "fleshed out"over time. Is M.E. a REAL person? Did she ALWAYS run the blog? The book came a longmuch later. Psychology Today wrote an article about M.E. putting it's reputationon the line, so I must assume that there IS a real M.E. I'll also give her thebenifit of the doubt that MOST of the things she says about herself are legit.The fact that she had the consistancy to keep the blog going for 6 years tells ussomething about the type of Sociopath she is-IF she is an actual Sociopath.She must be getting something out of the blog to keep it going as long as shehas. Here's the problem now: There's nothing NEW to say about Sociopaths.She can only go over the same terroitory over and over again. Dexter is now offthe air. M.E. is young, attractive and wealthy. She's no "Coyx," (Please look up"Bing Images') but she holds her own.31 years old. Unmarried. Likely bored. Where does she go from here? She should even listen to the song "Where Do We Go From Here?"
Now let's see how Casey Anthony enters the picture, and how CaseyAnthony can SAVE M.E. (Oh, forgive me. The above girl's name is "Coxy.")Casey, accquitted against all odds. A unique person who must live with ashadow over her head for the rest of her life. She WILL be MATERIALLY protected. And maybe she can find a sembelence of happiness-if she lives anon descript life. But this goes against EVERY naracistic impulse she has.She needs excitement and sex. She MIGHT be getting those things now, butit's difficult to see how.Casey has SOME people who care for her and are concerned for her welfare.I've written about Casey on various sites on the net, and it's not implausible thatCasey has seen what I've written. I've also meantioned M.E. and her work insome of these posts. Casey may well know of M.E. M.E. is open to contact from Sociopaths. Could it be that Casey has contacted M.E.? Could they be inon going communication? Theoretically, they might even have met by now.Casey DOES have freedom of movement. She also has Venus in the 9th houseof her chart which means her "hook-ups" will be long distance. She must alwaysreturn to FLA until her legel problems are dismissed.I think it's likely that Casey has sought out M.E. (And travels to meet M.E.)This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship that BOTH women canbenefit from, and I'm happy to have played a role in bringing it about.
C'mon Anon., remember what D of A said earlier?
These thoughts have been with me for quite some time. In my own way, I link them to the topic on responsibility."If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." ─ E.D.Undoubtedly, this goes with my personal philosophy on life: "Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm possible'!"─ A.H.
§ My Thoughts for Today §I believe that we write to absorb or savor life twice, in the present time and looking back or reminiscing. I like it when a person tells me that the moon is shining, but what I like even more is seeing the glimmer of light on broken glass. I learned one thing today. The point is not to voice what we can all say, but what we are unable to break silence with to give voice to to make known in a courageous, laudable way. * I have always admired courageous people. A true writer always constructs - the truth, that is. I believe that everybody has a valuable book in him/her.The hard part about doing something creative is finishing it. Like now.
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing.Max Irons
* Yes, I did it again, but you can see my reply below (belonging to this thread, though).
True, Max, all of that and more. Healing can branch out into directions that we can fathom in so many details. Another soul can "awaken" us and/or make us feel alive, connecting like the rare, intensively intuitive vibrations of...http://www.vimeo.com/47110114.
It is rare, but possible.
haha, love this song, its like a borderline and sociopaths LOVE song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg
watch to the end to get full effect ^
Daughters of Anarchy,I, for one, am intensely drawn by this song when it comes to love. It sets a different tone to a relationship, too. A different sort of allure - depth, passion, connection between two souls. I wish the video and image were more clear, though, but here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5pAWHRSdg0
* Drawn by and drawn to - Although I don't believe that real love should be a mystery, since it should be openly shared between two souls, I find this song alluring as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQmTuJAwYsM
Amazing and touching piece of music!
Yes, I think so, too. This is also deeply related to my memories. It really works with what I create.
Christina Perri - Human [Official Video] - YouTubewww.youtube.com/watch?v=r5yaoMjaAmE This is not classical, but it gets the point across. We are all human and some personalities differ, however we need to fine acceptance to co-exist. Why not learn from each other..?
Anon,In essence, leaning from each other is what humans do. Personalities will always differ, and that is the real point of diversity, but your message does get the point across. The video added to the creative/artistic aspect of it. I like what she says in this "Waking Life" clip, especially when she approaches the inner workings of spiritual understanding and love. www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5yaoMjaAmE
- learning from each other -
Anon,Somehow, I inserted the wrong link to the "Waking Life" clip. Here is the right clip, though:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgXlHWF3_Go
Stay smart beautiful pieces indeed. The passion is indeed felt through the music. Those piano hands are gracefully in sync. Just listening to it before shut eye. Thanks.
Passion (by Pablo Neruda)"As if you were on fire from withinThe moon lives in the lining of your skin." In my mind translating to:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plaU4IcOcys
It's reminds me of Lindsey Stirling music. I like it. :-)
Lindsey Stirling is a great musician. I've listened to almost all of her pieces. She can be very innovative with her work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yJE1iiO0qI
I hope that you'll find this inspiring. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sIrrhUwLh4
She's breath taking as a violinist. . I enjoy all her music aswell. (Lindsey)My son started piano this year. He's almost 8 possibly with a adhd diagnose. Where in the process of it all.. That boy is absorbing piano like a sponge. He plays his little pieces to us almost everyday. I'm hoping he'll be good like the piece you posted.
Sometimes I dream about cheese, smelly cheese...Chesse is made of yellow... Yellow is the best color for a sociopath to wear and use it, since yellow is the best color to create enthusiasm for life and can awaken greater confidence and optimism. the color psychology of yellow is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun. Which makes it easier to gain trust in our victims. Muhaahahhahahahahahahahh
"Sometimes I dream about cheese, smelly cheese....Which makes it easier to gain trust in our victims. Muhaahahhahahahahahahahh"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u4Mmv90BWc
Anon,I meant this video as a harmless joke. It was not done with malice. In reality, I believe that everyone is talented in his or her own way.
Whatever anyone says, my sinero makes sense. I don't believe that thehuman speices is good at heart, but I DO believe that M.E. is good at heart.M.E. WOULD help people, IF it didn't endanger her too much. M.E. would firsthave to see if Casey were serious. It would be more of a risk for M.E. to go toK.C. then for K.C. to go to M.E. If Casey went to M.E. it would demonstrate thatthat she was serious, and really wanted to be helped. It would be a "risk," but aworthy risk. M.E. could determine once and for all if K.C. was a bonne fide sociopath.Why should M.E. want to do this? It's only a LIMITED risk for M.E., and itcould pan out for another book. Imagine if the foremost authority on Sociopathsstruck up a relationship with the most imfamous and hated of Sociopaths. Thebook wouldn't be "pro" or "con" about Casey's innocence, it would simply recount M.E.'s relationship/views about Casey. The book would be based on aFIRST HAND account of M.E.'s experieces of Casey. Would the book be anautomatic best seller? You bet it would.What does Casey get out off it? New hope, and a new lease on life because ofher friend M.E. She can resume living her life and be eternally greatfull to M.E.M.E. would not be penalized in anyway.I made a study of M.E. and found out that she is actually a GOOD woman.God brought me here to encourage the M.E./Casey connection. Please do it!
Anon: "I don't believe the human species is good at heart". In other words, you believe we come into the world already evil. Interesting. Do you have children? Have you ever worked with children?I agree that ME is a great person. She is clearly a passionate individual who has done a great service for the ASPD community(specifically the “everyday sociopath”). However, ME is not a murderer and she is not a psychiatrist. CA is a murderer and she requires professional psychiatric guidance and therapy.Your posts explain that you stalk(oops, study) ME, believe it would be advantageous for her to develop a friendship with CA and write a book about it, and this will lead to CA having new hope and a new lease on life. This repulses me. Why should CA be given anything? She murdered her child. Going back to the quote @ "human species being born evil": Have you ever considered “studying” C.A.'s daughter and her short, evil life? You may actually find evidence of entirely new "scenarios"…For example:1. Caylee was actually a "Dark Triad Woman". She spent her 2 years on this earth charming, manipulating and puppeteering everyone she came in contact with. The God-fearing C.A. became so frightened and terrorized by this creature that she had released into the world she believed she had no choice but to destroy her. 2. C.A. was actually a martyr, instructed by God to save the human species from inevitable doom and destruction at the hands of Lucifer’s 2 year old daughter. CA had no choice but to annihilate Caylee in order to save the world.
“There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive."─ J.L.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDqV3H3zgVUSometimes it feels really exulting to be alive.
What makes it feel beautiful to you?
I feel the artists pain, sorrow, joy and deep love played in his music. Like he's remembering someone he cares deeply for. It's passionate. :)
Caring deeply for someone can have that powerful effect, the notes profusely emitting each one of the emotions you've mentioned. He does it so exquisitely that it creates the potential to tap into memories and feelings that bring it all together. I feel it as though it's become a whole orchestra of emotions, but ignited by just one, exulting instrument. The notes stand for moments in time, building deeply onto each other.
When closing your eyes, such memories spring forth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrR39V3b1yg
You explained it so well. :-)
O wow, yes I do love that song.
Exactly, Stay Smart you are 100% correct. Caring deeply does have that effect.
Caring deeply is profoundly rooted into me. I know the effect on an intrinsic level. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jla95B3LEw
Stay Smart do play an instrument?
Yes, I like to call it seeking my own, original notes.
Hasn't the snow melted yet? Eeewww -- yellow snow. Make yourself a Popsicle.
What are you saying, Radical Agnostic? Your meaning?
Stay Smart, you must be having me on. Of course you know where yellow snow comes from. Weren't you a five year old boy once? Living where there was snow?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBpJgL8Aa5oI do love the classics...Sincerely,The Green Slime Oozing from your Computer (apologies to FZ)
Wonderful. Reminds me of about 50 years ago putting bolts on bumpers in an LA Chevrolet factory reading National Inquirer during break (before it became a respectable newspaper) with an article about a man exploring Antarctica who teased a penguin which retaliated by castrating him. No video of course. Here's the best I can do. http://youtu.be/7PX8cJfq2Gc
I've been away over 24 hours and did some quick screening and will touch a few points real quickly and starting tomorrow eve I should be good to go every day.First, I was really nicely surprised Stay Smart bring up The Red Violin. I love that movie. Will have to se it again.Second, SS I know I was jumping from one topic to next and put the posting with the nobel heart in the same posting of the oter discussion, but in my mind they were unrelated, one was a part of my chat with HLH and the other was addressed to yu specifically. You had another question and I want to talk more about that later.Third, to HLH only. Thank you for the Facebook invite. When you posted that link I looked but wouldn't work, I guess I had to sign in, but I just don't. I'm one of those Facebook shy folks, never started a personal page going, just wouldn't. I know I'm missing some fun, but SW is enough fun in that direction for me.
No worries Sceli - the profile is there and will continue to be active if you change your mind (or are hanging out with a friend who does it) and want to see what I am posting...as Harry Haller, anyway... 8)~
My primary thinking is/was the "chat" function - once in a while I have the desire to post something but I don't because I'm not interested in discussing it with the wider group - alternative? 8)~Here's a question for you - you mentioned several times that you identify as Aspie. How are you with gauging time? Are you frequently late/early? Are you able to estimate the time it will take to get somewhere or get something done?I ask because I think I'm hyper punctual and I feel like I have a pretty accurate clock in my head, but other people - some more than others - seem incapable of getting it right.
Here's another song, that I enjoy. She screams alot; but she sounds delicious even when she screams in her songs. This reminds me of the borderline to borderline story. I'm putting songs into categories lately. Hahahttp://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-uakxkjYMDIit's called The promise.
I'm listening to this song as I'm writing this.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfCzfn89W18
Neutral. The real socio "gear" is neutral. OTHERS decide what dish will be served. That´s "psychopathy". Other attitudes, other conditions. Serial killers are not socios, they are sexual sadists etc..
A person can be both a sociopath and a sexual sadist.
Psycho movies. If one looks at which actors gets contracted to play baddie-socios in horror cinema one notices that they mostly come from one murky "pool": the holy Scorpio-zodiac sign trinity: Virgo/Libra/Scorpio. Yes, ordinary folks can play psychopaths ok on DVD. But to get "passionated" performances, there has to be a "scorpian" involved. These are "demon people", so therefore they can paint "demonic portraits" of the anti-heroes. Without Scorpio, no convincing "switchblade-bitches" on the flatscreen. Simple as that. Case closed. Wardrobe door closed. Even the petite pantry door closed..
Looks like M.E. is phoning it in lately. Haha.I think this could be reworded to "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."Then again it doesn't snow where I am and I have to relate with what scenery I do have readily available.
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Isn't that the truth. I've seen all kinds of lynch mobs on the net from people who are less intelligent attacking someone who is smarter and more educated.
Hi Baron,I can't believe I didn't post that one - I've drummed that into countless young engineers.
It's funny how that quote creates snow imagery, but all I keep thinking of is the villagers in Beauty and the Beast.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAZmHrtloD8"If you're not with us, you're against us!"
"But my smile still stays on."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6OvgZHmc7M
Who all has a Facebook account. I think HL posted it on the forum. I'm scrolling fast.. Jump aboard ! We'd love to have you on. :) I once read somewhere if you don't have a Facebook account - you might be a sociopath. Hahaha. How does that even fit. I should a read the article. I got sidetracked.
To re-iterate, I created a profile for my SW persona (which is actually pretty much "me" with a different name). Harry Haller - just look for the sketchy red neck (the goatee will be the give away - ). 8)~DoA - I will be posting some pics of The Unholy Spawn - yours are just too cute to not put a couple of mine up -
Looking forward to seeing them pics. :-))
Take a look! 8)~
I just take responsibility and avoid having to feel responsible.
Talking about "classics," is there anybody else here old enough to be a fan of the Pirate Jenny song from THE THREEPENNY OPERA? http://youtu.be/ow-6TU4NQNI
She's real good.
Human Beings have "original sin" on them. This includes children. Of course,from all external appearences, children appear "innocent" and helpless.Young children are in no position to harm anyone, knowingly. But that dosen'tmatter. They are STILL unwhitting sinners. Why? Because they originate from Adam's sins that are IMPUTED on to children, and the rest of mankind! M.E. knows this. She was taught it in Church. "Sin" is NOT what we DO. Sin, is what we are. The defination of sin is "missingthe mark." As fallable "fleshly" beings we "miss the mark" of our perfection.We can't help it. We were never meant to help it. God knows we can't help it.That's why God sent His only Son to live a perfect (Sinless) life on our behalfto reedeem mankind from DEATH. "The wages of sin are DEATH, but the GIFTof God is life eternal from Jesus Christ."Death entered through one man (Adam) and was overturned by Christ, (The"Second Adam.)Every event affecting humanity is "superintended" by God, even the "Fall" ofMan. It could be no other way. God has a LONG RANGE plan. God divideshistory into "ages." At the end of the final age, comes the SUMMATION ofhistory. All of the dead shall rise.So how does Casey Anthony come into the picture? True enough, Caseymurdered her daughter. If she doesn't accept Jesus Christ in the time she hasremaining on earth, she will undergo judgement, but she will EVENTUALLY besaved. Caylee was a doll, but she was "concieved" in SIN as we ALL are.If Caylee were really sinless, the duct tape and the chloraphorm would haveDISSOLVED before they touched Caylee's face.
I don't want to hurt your feelings. Actually, I do, Anon 5:37 am. Your comment about sin and god is so stupid and ignorant I lack the words to communicate how ignorant and stupid it is, and if I had them, you would not comprehend what I was saying. We are animals with complex brains. There is no God. We are born like animals, we fuck like animals, we die like animals. There is no God, No reason or purpose to the universe. I call my "religion" "Wallism." That's a catchy name for empiricism. I can't walk through a wall. You can't walk through a wall. If you can walk through a wall (without fakery and slight of hand illusion like someone such as Penn and Tell could pull off), tell me about god and adam and jesus and all that nonsense. If you can't, give yourself an enema and call it a spiritual experience.
God does exist. You must have faith!
I've had always had this strange habit of walking and rolling an object in my hand, but since I realized I have antisocial traits I started using this as a way to "show" that I'm normal. Has anyone of you "showed" symptoms of "craziness" with that goal?Sorry for going off-topic.
Yeah, because acting like a crazy person is the best way to fit in. Wtf?
"I've had always had this strange habit of walking and rolling an object in my hand..."Anon,It means that you like/have rhythm, that you have a good sense of rhythm (i.e., your mind/body seeks it) or that your brain works in a rhythmical way. It can actually be beneficial in certain instances. Musicians benefit from this, too.
If I was the first snowflake in that Avalanche to move, deliberately, then I would feel responsible, and darn proud.I_Am_Nihilist
I am a nihilist. I am an ethical nihilist. I guess I don't fit in here. Oh, well, I'll be senile soon enough and dead soon enough, wo what the fuck does it matter?
What makes you such a skeptic Radical Agnostic? I respect your opinion, I am just curious how it evolved. Was is something from your childhood?
Thank you for asking, Anon.I don't know. Why are anyone of us who we are? My family was very dysfunctional, though not the worst family I've encountered. My father was very intelligent, and there was something quite amiss with him. He was rather abusive, but I think he had no idea how to be a father, and his negative and hostile comments to us were saying (as best as I can figure out), "I fucked up my life; don't fuck up your life." The circumstances of his death (fairly young at 43) were rather traumatic for me and I probably never processed it or grieved properly. I tried to be a better parent (to my daughter) than he was to me, and a better husband to my wife than he was to my mother.My nature is skeptical. I perceive no world other than the mundane empirical world we live in and die in. If you believe otherwise, fine. I have a lot of anger and combativeness in my nature, and this web site is a relatively safe and harmless place for me to vent.No I have to leave to eat lunch and order an electric toothbrush. This is the future, where we brush our teeth with electronics. Is that fucked, or what?
"I tried to be a better parent (to my daughter) than he was to me, and a better husband to my wife than he was to my mother."Radical Agnostic, What you wrote above entails courage. I find that admirable.
Dear Radical Agnostic, I am very sorry for you're past experience with your father. Thank you for sharing and this is a safe place for you to vent. In my experience, I have always found that pain comes with a story and you show much courage for showing a kinder side to your own family. Please keep in mind that not all humans are evil, some lack compassion and make poor choices, but I do believe we all have empathy. It may be hidden deep within and maybe it just takes the right people to bring it out . Do you know why you did not grieve? It is never to late. I forgive people because it takes a lot of energy to hate. Thank you for responding.
Stay Smart, that's awful mushy for a posting on SW, but as I don't really belong here, I'll let it go this time and thank you. Just a little secret between you and me.
Radical Agnostic, "Your little secret is safe with me." Where do you belong?
I wish I knew where I belong. I am not a sociopath but I am drawn to the company of sociopaths. I am not that dumb, but I am not that smart, and at the age of 71 my mind if fading quickly. I suspect that most human beings do not know whee we belong. Why are you here and where do you belong?
How about this RA: where did you belong at 60? 50? 20?
Radical Agnostic,I understand you quite well. Let that be another "little secret" of ours. I wholeheartedly belong "where I truly belong." :)
1. Few things are as dangerous as a bunch of empaths collectively blinded by their own emotions. Frighten a herd, it will stampede.2. We should have an SW convention and all watch The Red Violin. Then discuss various permutations of nihilism. That sounds like a nice evening. 3. Casey Anthony is nothing special. Why are we still talking about her?
because everyone is being beaten over the head about her by a nut case....i'm thinking of recruiting radical agnostic to hunt this guy down, and finally put an end to it. Seriously if I have to hear the name "Casey Anthony" again..
"The violin - that most human of all instruments.…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SSbyJ6pMuE
Stay Smart is this you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRBI1VSO7hc
Anon,I was not able to view the clip.
Anon 12:09I suppose I meant in general. She sucked, the jury spoke, it's done. But people still feel haunted which annoys me. Stay SmartThat was beautiful. Thank you.The clip was a scene from The Professional, in which (spoilers) Mathilda's family is killed. I expect Anon was referring to the quote, "I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven."Anon 1:21I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of SW.
"I like these calm little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven.""Moonlight Sonata" - And yet more memories. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HV4omMxy_eQ
Darien,The movie is special to me. It has to do with my memories in real life. It also relates to my creations.
Would you mind elaborating? I'm interested to hear.
Yes, please elaborate.
Darien,I meant that I traveled, and in doing so, I discovered some things about myself which I will never forget. In my mind, this acts as a parallel between myself and the "travelling" of the red violin. Some realizations and experiences can transcend time, feeding the soul or the true essence in this process. As to my creations, they speak a language of their own, much like the red violin does as it reveals its soulful sound and transcending vibrations.
How to get rid of guilt and shameWe feel guilty or ashamed because of things we have done that we believe are wrong. One solution is to decide that what we did was not wrong.Of course, this requires that you can believe that, or convince yourself.Many people feel guilt over things they did because others blame them.This often happens with people who have suffered abuse as a childIt can happen also with children who think it is their responsibility to keep their parents happy.As an adult it is worthwhile to examine these ideas and change them if possible.Another solution is to forgive yourself for what you did.Other people may forgive you, but that never helps unless you forgive yourself also.To forgive yourself means to change your mind about what happened in some way that changes your feelings of guilt or shame.Sometimes enough punishment will do that, but it doesn't have to be physical.I helped one man to imagine he was being tried in court, found guilty, and punished so severely that he was able to accept that he had been punished sufficiently and could forgive himself.The main thing with this, however you do it, is to finally forgive yourself.Another way: Instead of focusing on feeling guilty, which will not do you or anyone else any good, focus on doing something to correct the wrong.This is the idea of restitution, and was part of the ancient ho'oponopono process in Hawaii.
Don't be afraid to tell your story. Sharing your story may help another person and shame will start to fade. There is a difference between guilt and shame. Shame lives deep within and many struggle with it. Allowing vulnerability, healing, sharing, and knowing you are worthy of love and belonging will help the healing process.
"Allowing vulnerability, healing, sharing, and knowing you are worthy of love and belonging will help the healing process."There is so much truth in your words. Your thinking is progressive.
Hi, SS. When I said "Good to keep that child within alive..."you asked "In what way are you referring to this? This would be a good discussion, since I believe that there are different perspectives/takes on this idea."I'm certanly curious about the perspectives you might be thinking of. To me, it just is literally keeping some of who I was, my core self that came as my 'nature' as opposed to all the social influences in the name of 'nurture,' which includes family, schools, etc. etc. and that period pretty much is when I was 5-6 years old. So, I am of the opinion it's good to regress to those ages occasionally and search from within to define what made you happy, and make sure those are satisfied, and that's how I honor/keep alive/make happy/whatever you want to call this the child within. I was an extremely innocent child, in the sense that when it came to interacting with others I always was in truth. Meaning, my behavior towards people were extension of my thoughts about people, and were extremely positive, even when poeple were not good/right/fair towards me it was not registering, and I was still treating them with respect/care/etc. just because this was the right thing to do, that power in me was in being me, not reacting based on what was coming at me. While this is a good strategy I now think it's best to apply a hybrid strategy, meaning ignore and just be the high you (idealistic, direct, honest, the child within me) sometimes and hit behind the scenes as they deserve (sneaky, avenging, the adult within me) at other times. The latter could also be stated as 'keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer,' and keeping enemies closer means hit them as they deserve but don't let'm see that it's you who is doing it.A child is more universal than an adult is, closer to the core of human beings. I just love children, and I pretty much don't trust adults when it comes to children. I know there are children who are born to be sneaky and avenging just because something does not go their way, but I truly believe that's a very low percentage of children. I guess when I say keep the child within alive it also means keep innocence and naivete alive as much as possible, too, but by all means I don't suggest learning of adult ways. If I could get my way all children by 14 should have had a class called, adult ways of living or something like that so that they could start understanding the level of adult bs surrounding them.Hmmm. It looks like my thoughts flowed in a way I covered different perspectives. I started with keeping doing the kinds of things that made you happy when you were very young but then moved unto behavior choices in human interactions. Now I'm really curious what you have to add/challenge.
Sceli,You have provided lots of details on your perspective, which helped me understand you better (i.e., both psychologically and intuitively). When I posed my question, I was referring to the difference between being childish and child-like, which, as you know, are highly apparent in some people. I believe that in some individuals, the "process" of becoming an adult can significantly alter the presence and manifestation of the "inner child," but the importance that I always emphasize lies in distinguishing between acting childish or child-like. I find that some people confuse the two ideas/behaviors, not knowing that one can be both mature and child-like. It makes no sense to discuss the childish ones, since that eliminates the state of maturity, which takes away from the overall appeal. So, yes, I believe that the two can co-exist in creative and revealing ways. I, for one, find the idea of its co-existence to be special/enchanting, but there has to be a distinctive quality to it.
"While this is a good strategy I now think it's best to apply a hybrid strategy, meaning ignore and just be the high you (idealistic, direct, honest, the child within me) sometimes and hit behind the scenes as they deserve (sneaky, avenging, the adult within me) at other times. The latter could also be stated as 'keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer,' and keeping enemies closer means hit them as they deserve but don't let'm see that it's you who is doing it."Sceli,So, in this hybrid formation, you are clearly saying that the adult in you is more sneaky and vengeful. I, for one, and I don't mean to sound critical here since I am only trying to understand you better, have always thought of an adult (i.e., implying a certain degree of maturity in my mind) as being more straightforward as opposed to sneaky. Also, when thinking of the "inner child" or child-like thinking/behavior (i.e., as distinguished from childish behavior), I don't see that as sneaky or vengeful either. Instead, I envision an innate degree of feeling/being special, innovative, playful, amusing and bold. True, personalities differ, and as I wrote above, that is the real point of diversity and learning from one another. Your detailed response has shed significant light on some of the questions that I've pondered. Overall, do you see the way I distinguish these traits in my mind?
Yes, I see that you were clarifying that I was not talking about childish behavior.Most kids act as they are, without analyzing, staying in the moment. This is a state most elderly return to after retirement. In between there is a nonlinear curve of growth in one direction and then change to another direction, this could be for example first trying to be idealistic and later (after getting hit suuficienlt long and hard) than realistic . Or, in born-again folks' case first opportunistic, later (again, after getting hit sufficiently long and hard) realistic.I guess what I'm saying is had I started sneaky and vengeful I probably would have to learn to correct some of that later. I nmy case I started unrealistically and to an extent of self-disserving level of good that correction needed me to learn to not burn bridges, shut up and don't declare all truth, manage people (and in terminology is sneaky and vengeful but not what a socio would mean when s/he said these things). It's all relative. If it comes to protecting myself I'm ready to game, and willing to up the jeopardy, including no hesitation to kill if I'm attacked physically. I'd rather kill someone than be killed by that person, and yes sneaky and vengeance for my purposes (mostly self-protection) are just fine. Like I was saying earlier, when you're dealing with the dark triad, you just can't show your hand, or understanding of them. You have to be sneaky and vengeful. This does not mean that you're the executioner going around and fighting socios. Just the opposite actually, stay friendly and in just the right distance, and aware, is all I'm saying, but be ready to hit back when necessary. Like if one-third of the cartoonists in that meeting at Charlie Ebdo were ready to shoot back, the problem would've been solved right there and then. The idealist in me used to be against guns, and the new is ready to use one (but no one knows, why announce, I have not only one but two guns and a permit to carry).
You asked earlier "... you identify as Aspie. How are you with gauging time? Are you frequently late/early? Are you able to estimate the time it will take to get somewhere or get something done? I ask because I think I'm hyper punctual ... but other people ... seem incapable of getting it right."Yes, the way I identify as aspie is due to two reasons: one: I took everything literally, trusted myself that I would deliver every good suggestion, and two: I thought everybody else was like me too.Now, punctuality is a good example of this. The books and folks say 'don't be late.' So, the aspie in me was never late, when one does not want to be late one can calculate how much it takes add a safety margin and gets there on time. And, the aspie in me would get there in time, and totally buy the other people's sorry apologies as in "I'm sure they meant to get there on time, but they just were unlucky or underestimated." You even said it yourself, HLH, that 'some seem incapable of getting it right.' Well, you see, this aspie has already recovered in this regard, there just is no such thing as 'incapable of getting it right.' People do have games around time.One game is power game. Folks who play the power game will get there early when they believe the other party has the power, and late when they believe they have the power. So, half of the folks you meet and are late more than 80% of the time are those who think you should be waiting for them.Another is 'testing game.' Particularly when wanting to assess another person's anger management issues you arrive late just to see what sort of reaction you're getting.If you're now inspired to share more games, jump in.Part 2 will be on what I do, this b'og needs me to write shorter.
I'll tell you what I do. I no more arrive 5 min early. For one thing I'm a woman, it's not in my interest to arrive early. I may spend the time in the restroom in the place if I'm early, but I either arrive on time or 5 min late. I don't believe in any of the games I mentioned above, meaning I don't play them, but I watch out and see if the other party is playing them. Games only obvious through time but I have a strategy that pretty much shuts down the games right from the beginning.I have a pretty easy algorithm. If no prior information I wait for 15 minutes and make a decision to either go ahead and leave at 20 minute mark (without any feedback, meaning if s/he arrived 21 minutes late let her/him sit and wait and I respond only when s/he contacts me and when s/he does I just say 'oh, I waited for 20 min and left) or enjoy the place thinking I got there by myself (like go ahead and order a drink, start socializing with others, etc.). Let's say I decided to stay and enjoy by myself and this person arrives 25 minutes late. I don't react in any way as in 'why are you so late,' I kust smile and get into a hello, so nice to see you (in a way baiting the person by appearing as if this was no big deal, and watching if this person will act as no big deal or do the proper apology and reasoning. Say I got no voluntary apology, then for some Godly reason the next time we meet I get there late (with added interest and watch how this person reacts. In all honesty, for a lot of people time is just not an issue and if they are willing to give me the same leeway I won't hold it against them, but if this person starts giving me anything less tan what I've given in positive attitude I'm ready for the lecture "Oh, I'm normally really punctal, and today I normally would've called you as soon as I realized I was going to be late (never accept that I was intentionally late) but since you were so easy going last time I assumed you're easy going. Maybe we should define what our time expectations are."Now... If this person is my direct/potential boss and the money is good... I'd simply readjust the meeting time in my mind to the time s/he arrived and ignore however long I had to wait.So, you see, there is no trace of aspie in me when it comes to time anymore. I'm very calculating and very respectful of my own time.
Wow! Thanks!Yes - a lot of people play that power game and I am with you: as an adult, one should be able to be reasonably on time. And, like you, the degree to which I'll flex depends on the circumstances - and with cell phones being ubiquitous there aren't too many excuses that really fly with me. And, I'll cut just about anyone slack once - maybe twice if I'm not too pushed out of shape. How about with estimating time to do something like cook a new dish or getting a project completed? The context being meeting your own deadlines - ones where no one else is involved? Do you operate similarly?Not meaning to give you the "third degree" on this - I think I'm at one extreme of the scale (I've gotten "Rainman" comments for my punctuality and scheduling) and I find myself often puzzled by how others seem to reckon time. I understand that Apsie's can experience it differently.
HLH, in project management you'd get a rainman comment if you're turning in projects on time and within budget. It's because it's empirically proven (as such a well-acceptable industry standard) to have 80% chance that a project will be over time and budget at completion. What this sadly means is that anytime someone does a successful on-time completion this person will be perceived 1. by the client who is paying for it as someone who lied and inflated upfront, and possibly has been sitting on it till the promised time despite it being finished earlier2. by the boss who is billling as someone who is unable to inflate billable hours, hence unable to increase the revenues for the company3. by the associates who know you're doing a decent and honest job as rainman for the reasons 1 and 2 above.The game in project management completion time estimation is to provide the time and cost estimate short and low enough to get the bid. After that around 25% completion raise hopes that you may actually do it shorter and cheaper, after 75% start inflating by giving excuses that inflate the quality of the job you're doing and things are expectedly taking longer.This game is played so well in the large projects, it's shameful. But, hey, the consultants who are highered are the ones who can inflate billable hours, not the ones who work the fastest. How sad is that, but the way consulting firms charge, this just is expected. When you're an indpendent subcontractor to a larger subcontractor, the same story. You are supposed to come up with very good excuses to increase the project duration, not deliver on time. Ouch... This is why soicos are in higher echelons in business. I know one socio who found a three digit mistake in calculations one hour prior to presenting to the customer (as in 300,000 as opposed to 3,000) and decided to not correct it and sold the project for $297,000 more. His boss took him to a nice dinner. As pie, could not live with himself if he doesn't tell the truth. I love aspies. I really do. All they need is a translator of some sort. There should be a little life realities app for aspies.
Sceli,I truly dislike power games when it comes to time, because, in my mind, I never view time in this way. I can't relate to these games, meaning that I don't really understand people's negative reasons or "concoctions," as I call them, behind the power games on time. You might find this amusing, but I don't even have the time to actually contemplate the concept of devising power games in relation to it. As it were, I always find myself wishing that I had more time.
:) highered... lol.. hired. Is that the origin of hire?
SS,What you said is not surprising to me about you. That's why I adore you. All you have to do is make sure people don't hurt you, isolate you, because as you get older you'll stay true but they'll change steadily, especially at the higher levels, and that's how isolation starts. You don't have to play any of it, just understand ane expect from people that they are not like you, and if they are already not like you they're learning self-interest games more and more.Don't shut down your interest when you hear things that just are not good, that they don't fit your way of thinking. Try to understand these people to be able to protect yourself. As you get older there will be more and more of them and less and less of your type. You'll feel isolation. People are isolated just by the mere fact that they are getting older, don't give them more reasons.
And this is one of the things that endears you to me - I well know the consulting game. I am curious about how you deal with time issues where no one else is involved. I picked cooking because it's something that many people do. But how about painting a room in your home? Do you find that you are realistic about when it will be finished?
Oh, man. I suck when it comes to anything ike that. I totally leave it to inspiration. I mean, I may not touch it for days and then all of a sudden I'm so focused, so efficient, so quick and I just get done. Then other times I start it and then feel I'm not enjoying continuing and literally leave it all so messy ready for my next start time and it may not happen anytime soon and I get kind of mad at myself steadily for keeping the mess around, for not getting it done, yet still not giving in to the notion that I'll only do this if and when I'm ready to enjoy doing this.Yikes, this applies to little household projects of every kind, even occasional exotic cooking ideas.So, I apply none of my rational thinking and totally operate like a moody artist when it's stuff like this. I'm not sure if I'd stay this way if someone else's expectations involved. I am a pleaser in this regard, but if I were to marry again I sure would demand a room that's totally dedicated to my mess.
Like there is this cabbage waiting because I thought I should pickle it. There is a good chance the cabbage will die before I start, lol...How about you?
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