Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Love the sinner, hate the sin?

From a very old comment, a concept that many find difficult or nonsensical:

Sam Harris makes this argument in his book "Free Will". If you "get" this line of thinking, you stop blaming people and you stop experiencing pride and shame, because all those are based on the idea that there is a "you" that "freely chooses" to do things that are either bad (blame), good (pride) or bad (shame). 

The best parts of his book relate to psychopaths like Uday Hussein and how we ought to kill them (of course) while loving them (because they aren't blameworthy). It is a very Epicurean/Stoic/zen approach to things, free of the faulty assumptions that almost all humans share - which is quite sociopathic. 

354 comments:

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    1. tell me about the robots please ??!!

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  3. Daniel Day Lewis is HOT in the movie, The Last of the Mohicans!!!

    Just thought I'd share.:)

    ~Vegas

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  4. A-

    I hope I wasn't too much "Girl Power" or "Kumbaya".

    When Adam essentially referred to women as "baby making factories", I was "driven to it"...

    ~Vegas

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    1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mysteries-love/201502/12-ways-spot-misogynist

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    2. I was teasing. This is the way I am. I'll be me. You go ahead and feel completely free to be you. I accept you exactly as you are. So if I poke, prod, jab or stab something you post, don't take it personally.

      If anything, I have a vague, quaint affection for those I tease- but also those I shred, and I’ll admit to having a gleeful time doing it :D

      There have been a few notable exceptions, but it is still never personal for me, here. I’m a jolly sadist. ;)

      I find it amusing and interesting how some people can be as emotionally engaged as I’ve witnessed them to be in this impersonal, text-based virtual environment.

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    3. You're perfect A ! ;)

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    4. A-

      I like it, when you tease me.:)

      I like you.:)

      Ahhhhh-I'm glad you kind of like me, too.:)

      *****Blushing*****

      ~Vegas

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  5. Madeleine Stowe is HOT in that movie, too!!!

    I like that she wasn't a total "Damsel in Distress".:)

    ~Vegas

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  6. Diverse yet fully human organisms functioning in social groups... so goes the perpetual dance of the human species. Complexity emerging from the survival requirement to compete - biologically - for resources. We are physically, subcortically, triggered to ensure our due share. Being social, we institutionalise mechanisms to facilitate satisfaction of our basic drivers.

    Pride and blame, while natural tendencies, are context specific, dependent on the socially designed reality we immerse ourselves in, that we normalise around.

    I like this perspective on the 'problem' of free will. We do typically consider humans as fee agents, holding one another responsible for our actions under the social contract. We seek recompense when it is available institutionally, and are tempted to retribution when treated unfairly and no other recourse is available. Of course, retribution may entail greater loss of resources and it's often better to let the thing go and learn your lessons.

    I'm not necessarily of the camp claiming the self as an illusion. I consider the cortex as the great integrator of various impulses within the self and of external stimuli. The 'self' then is an emergent concept. But I do agree that relaxing hold of the primacy of the conception of self allows far greater degrees of freedom for how we live our lives.

    For my part, understanding the deeply physical nature of our existence in this way makes space for mercy, both for ourselves and others. Strange conflagrations of universe-dust that we all are; judgement of self and others increases quite unnecessarily the burdens we carry through our being.

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  7. Superb Information, I really appreciated with it, This is fine to read and valuable pro potential, I really bookmark it, pro broaden read. Appreciation pro sharing. I like it.

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  8. I can't stand Sam Harris - I've been following him for almost 10 years now. Glenn Greenwald read him very well - I'd have used much harsher words against him.

    Why on earth should & would anyone care to love / hate someone like Uday in an atheistic, purposeless existence? Forget Uday, why anyone else? Because Sam says so? He shows how much he loves Muslims but subtly spewing his hate again and again by speaking about a topic he has zero qualifications (judging him by his own rigorous standards) to speak about.

    Watch the debate with him and William Lane Craig. I first saw it years ago when I was an atheist. I thought he won but only barely - weakly. I recently saw the debate again and this time was as objective as possible: I realized Sam was nothing but a sophist who, in actuality, got butchered by Craig. I respect Craig for his honesty and logical approach - unlike the evasions and language tricks employed by the likes of Harris.

    I don't disagree much with Sam's take on "free will" except that I DO believe we can and do make actual "moral" choice once we are "awakened." Prior to my own, I was in concurrence with him on this 100%.

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    1. The only "free will" we really have is the choice to be truthful, honest & moral OR to do as we see fit for ourselves. There's only two roads in life - all else is a variation of one of the two. Picture a 0-100 empathy scale. The "good" are those above 50 and the "bad" are those below 50. People can move up and down on this based on their beliefs (primarily in God & higher ethics), life experiences & company, their desires & goals etc etc. Those in the dead center or nearby are what we call bipolar or borderline.

      So in essence we get to decide if we want God & Truth or go our own way. What follows is determined by God. It's a very deep topic but I hope I was able to summarize it accurately.

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    2. As some of you probably know, "Islam" literally means to "to submit." The idea is to willingly submit to the will of God. Once you do this, you realize that everything will happen in your life is what God willed. You can ask Him for anything and He can change fate based on your doing so.

      As for those who knowingly reject God, he lets them be for a time, be it their Earthly life span or less. They may think that whatever they're doing is of their own accord but even their lives are predetermined by God. The difference is they're too arrogant & delusional to realize it whereas the one who submits is fully cognizant of that reality.

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    3. I should add: that's my opinion based on my understanding of the world and my reading of the Qur'an. I may be wrong but I am pretty confident about it.

      God knows best.

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    4. In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.

      "Has there not been over Man a long period of Time, when he was nothing - (not even) mentioned?

      Verily We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts), of Hearing and Sight.

      We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will)."

      Qur'an 76: 1-3

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    5. Oh shit! Incoming!

      Watch out, everyone!
      It's yet another mindblowing episode of Everyday Jihadism!
      You better watch out 'cause it's gonna completely blow you away!

      ALLAHU AKBAAAAAAR!

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    6. William Lame Craig has butchered the Qu'ran too. How can you respect such an infidel, Joanie?

      Picture a 0-100 empathy scale. The "good" are those above 50 and the "bad" are those below 50. People can move up and down on this based on their beliefs (primarily in God & higher ethics), life experiences & company, their desires & goals etc etc. Those in the dead center or nearby are what we call bipolar or borderline.

      This is just so much unscientific, unsubstantiated garage. Empathy is just an emotion. It is like saying only gentle people can be good, or those who are naturally compassionate, etc.

      Bipolar disease is not "what happens when someone falls in the middle if the empathy scale" it is a mental illness caused by an imbalance in certain neurotransmitter levels, and it likely has physiological, genetic roots in most cases. Personality disorders like BPD also have a hereditary component.

      You are not a neurologist or a psychiatrist. The pseudo-science you peddle here is irresponsible. Perhaps I should be calling YOU a demon and a psycho for spreading such deceptive nonsense. Where is your empathy for those struggling with mental illness? How can you be so callous as to disregard their struggle as genuine- defining it in what literally amounts to a backwards, medieval conception of mental health?

      Seriously. What's the matter with you?

      Psycho!! ;)

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    7. Oh my god...

      What a bastard!
      We're just here, struggling to get better, but nooo!
      Here comes Joanie, spreading hate and intolerance, trying to destroy our loving community!
      We give her love and understanding, and what do we get in return? Endless hate and scorn!
      I am simply SHOCKED by such an atrocious display of callousness!

      Shame on you, you crazy psycho! You keep using these... these appaling tricks and deceptions, but god knows all about your horrendous sins, you evildoer!
      In the name of god, repent! Repent, sinner!!!
      Out, demon, out! :-)

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    8. C'mon Joanie, you're missing your cue...

      "In the name of Allah the most blah blah blah."

      *Drone, drone, mumble mumble*

      Alllllaaaahuuuuu AKBHAR!!

      Little slow on the uptake today, are we?

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    9. I know what's the deal...

      Her empathy is below 50!
      Hurry up and charge it to 100 already!

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    10. "Picture a 0-100 empathy scale. The "good" are those above 50 and the "bad" are those below 50. People can move up and down on this based on their beliefs (primarily in God & higher ethics), life experiences & company, their desires & goals etc etc. Those in the dead center or nearby are what we call bipolar or borderline. "

      You've never heard the phrase "frequency vs. magnitude" have you Joanie?

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    11. "William Lame Craig has butchered the Qu'ran too."

      I respect Craig for his well reasoned & logical arguments when it comes to the question of God. He's an expert debater on this topic. I don't agree with his theology and as a Christian I expect him to read the Qur'an dismissively.

      As for my views on mental health, I speak from personal experience, historical views & prevalence of such phenomenon, and the logical extension thereof. I have very strong reasons to believe what I said about bipolar & BPD. Their being hereditary does not contradict anything I said. Anything in your makeup is hereditary for your offspring. Lastly, I did NOT make a scientific claim - I believe it to be true but I don't have "studies" to back up my claim and I haven't claimed any such thing.

      Savvy?

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    12. BTW I fully understand why Craig is utterly devoted to Christianity. He's claimed to have had direct spiritual experiences of Christ. For those of you who know how that could happen...it makes sense that his faith in his theology is so firm. His almost impeccable reasoning capacities only seem to breakdown when he defends the Trinity or speaks about Islam (which he is unfortunately very ignorant of).

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    13. BTW Craig's "Kalam Cosmological Argument" - his main defense against atheism and primary proof for God - is an argument that was developed by ISLAMIC scholars (most famously Al-Ghazzali) nearly a 1000 years ago. He's honest enough to credit them.

      I've listened to him speak about the Qur'an. He does not attack the Qur'an on logical or secular grounds. He attacks the Qur'anic view of God & salvation IN LIGHT OF the Christian view. His entire argument is: "Christianity says X and Islam says Y. X is better." This is what I mean when I say his almost impeccable reasoning capabilities breakdown when it comes to discussing other religions, in particular Islam.

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    14. Socioempath & A-

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      ~Vegas

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    15. Joanie, baby, I'm a deist. I'm not going to debate the Kalam Cosmological argument with you, and yes, the guy who originally conceived of it was Muslim. So what? An ingenious thought or a good theory do not make a person infallible.

      I am aware of all the strong arguments for the existence of God, including the amazingly fine-tuned nature of the universe, and the corollary Anthropic Principle. I could add a few more from the emerging field of bioinformatics, and the incredibly complex way that DNA encodes meaningful information in what essentially constitutes a 3D matrix. I understand how the Multiverse theory has no experiential data to support it, and how it only exists to compensate for the ridiculously improbable fact that we are here at all, statistically speaking. I also understand how philosophically, it only pushes back the question of origins further.

      Again: *I'M A DEIST*, dummy. I've said it several times. But just like you've insist upon referring to me as a man, you refuse to hear what people are actually saying in favour of clinging to your delusions.

      I am not attacking the Qu'ran on secular, but *spiritual* grounds. Your prophet was a charlatan. A big fat faker… A monstrous individual. Lane Craig will dress it up nicely, with a respectable suit and tie, but guess what? Fundamentally, we agree that Old 'Mo was a megalomaniacal, deceptive, psychopathic sonofabitch- because that is what the history and his teachings bear out. Anyone who swallows the load he jizzed all over his star-struck followers is a gullible fool.

      I don't give a rat's ass what ISLAMIC SCHOLARS teach. Their theology is based upon a lie. If you can't perceive that after informing yourself of certain facts, you're just stupid.

      With few notable exceptions, Islam has only ever wrought oppression, injustice and cruelty upon the face of the earth.

      You will know a tree by the fruit it bears.

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    16. A deist who believes Jesus died for "her" sins. That's a first.

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    17. Haha! No. I'm such a stoner.

      I used the wrong term. Replace my *EMPHATIC CAPS* with *THEIST*. :D



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    18. A-

      "You will know a tree by the fruit it bears."

      I LOVE THAT!!! SO TRUE!!!

      ~Vegas

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  9. I love this quote from "The Last of the Mohicans", when Daniel Day Lewis says this to Madeleine Stowe:

    "No! You stay alive! Submit, do you hear? You're strong, you survive. You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you..."

    ~Vegas

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  10. Socioempath-

    When I just read the words "Allahu akbar!!!", I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!

    I don't even need to watch the video again.:)

    YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!

    ~Vegas

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    1. Ahem...

      ALLAHU AKBAAAAR!!1!11!

      Oh yeah...
      I have finally found a worthwhile use for Joanie! Just ask her opinion on something, anything, and you just know - whatever she dislikes and hates is gotta be good for you!

      Let us all take a moment to thank our good benefactor, advisor and critic Jihadi for her wise advices and recommendations :-)

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    2. LOLOL!

      Ok, reading that almost made me spit out my coffee xD

      You're good. ;)

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    3. Hehehehehehehe ;-)

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    4. Socioempath & A-

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!

      ~Vegas

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    5. In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.

      "Has not man seen that We have created him from a drop of seed? Yet lo! he is an open opponent.

      And he has coined for Us a similitude, and hath forgotten the fact of his creation, saying: Who will revive these bones when they have rotted away?

      Say: He will revive them Who produced them at the first, for He is Knower of every creation,

      Who has appointed for you fire from the green tree, and behold! ye kindle from it.

      Is not He Who created the heavens and the earth Able to create the like of them? Aye, that He is! for He is the All-Wise Creator,

      But His command, when He intends a thing, is only that He saith unto it: Be! and it is."

      Qur'an 36: 77-82

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    6. Wooohooo!

      Quran quotes! My favourite! That's the spirit, Joanie! Blow us all away with pedo-wisdom!

      Convert, infidels! For if you do, you get to scream ALLAHU AKBAAAAR! What a bargain!
      Wololo! Wololo!

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  11. I've been mulling things over, and I think doing my best to cut off all ties with the narcissist is my best option; why potentially dig myself into a bigger mess? Even since the contract we signed together from our case manager was put into action to protect the safety of us both, she has implemented a couple nasty plots to sabotage my life and lifestyle, like the gangbangers, and her attempt at framing me with theft of my schizophrenic friend's property (with even simple process of elimination, reasoning, deduction, and critical examination of the objective evidence available, such as how we looked under the couch and his weed pipe wasn't there, but somehow she walked in and placed it under the couch claiming she found it [I assume she returned it because my friend probably letnit slip that I was investigating the theft. There's also cameras posted strategically around the building; footage from that date and time would prove her breaking and entering while me and him were gone]). I could bring up her theft scheme with my case manager, but if I do that and get her kicked out, she'll likely go to the youth shelter nearby that I frequently go to for business and networking, and all that's doing is reintroducing toxic waste into another environment where she can continue to be more destructive.

    I will take my time and consider my options; if I'm to do anything about her, I want the plan I implent to be most effective and efficient as possible.

    ESTP Sociopath

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  12. I could have her ran out of town, blacklist her. We call that "gettin' 360'd"; I'll have to run a intense smear campaign against her, spreading the word on the streets that she's a traitor (ratting people out to the police or having police involved in street feuds is a absolute no-no, so that won't be hard actually, it's just a matter of how well I can captivate, charm, and rally people behind me to fight her). However, I'll have to wait until the contract I signed with her and my case manager is over before I commence with her ostracism from the community.

    Yes, there is much to consider. I've got many ideas I'm entertaining in my mind.

    ESTP Sociopath

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  13. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!

    CMON M.E. RECONNECT THE BLOG TO SC ALREADY!!

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    1. Why would she want to re-connect to a place operated by a capricious, narcissistic teenager, and presided over by a basement dwelling neanderthal who literally spends all day, everyday, talking about what he wants to do with his dick, and posting child pornography? All the angsty little teenage edgelords lap it up, too, when there isn't someone around to squash him, and his bevy of self-congratulating muppets, like the contemptible coackroach he is.

      I mean, really. Ain't nobody got time for that. xD

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    2. A-

      Is that what SC is???

      How do they get away with posting child porn???

      ~Vegas

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    3. It gets taken down. But the threads all suck now, because it's all about what goes down in chat. And the chat is intolerably droll, mainly on account of the progenitor of the CP, the cock-roach.

      And really, that nickname sums him up quite nicely, when you break down the semantics of it. :P

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    4. A-

      YOU CRACK ME UP!!!

      ~Vegas

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    1. Something is wrong with you. Was your father like this?

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    3. Yes. I'm sure they do. You seem like the kind of guy who would be scared and intimidated by what you don't understand, especially when it threatens the superiority complex that props up your fragile ego. :P

      Careful, beta. Your insecurity is showing.

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    4. You know...

      If he hates feminine, beautiful women, that makes me wonder...

      What kind of women does thy Lord prefer?

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    5. You're obviously a real young adult, a kid, I suggest you stop playing gangsta and if you really wanna be great , just like a warrior, lol, build your character in devotion to women & practice chivalry. Practice on that family member who wanted to go out for lunch , even if you hate every minute of it. Small gestures, baby steps.

      Question: If you saw a women being raped on the street - would you help her?

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    6. Socioempath-

      YOU CRACK ME UP!!!

      P.S. How did you get a picture of Adam's girlfriend???

      ~Vegas

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    7. I wonder if he just needs a women to just be a dominant , like a dominatrix, is it the submissiveness qualities of a women that bothers him?

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    8. Superchick-

      You gave very sound advice to Adam.:)

      ~Vegas

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    10. Adam-

      I'M TOTALLY WITH YOU ON THIS ONE!!!

      Like I've been saying, "KEEP IT REAL"!!!

      ~Vegas

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    11. Hahahahahaaaaaa!!

      And Lord Niggerdouche has left the building!

      Speaking of "keeping it real"...

      I read your comments before you deleted them all in your walk of shame, Adam.

      You speak in ridiculously broad generalities, and you are very prone to hyperbole (look it up), which makes it difficult to take anything you say seriously. Since you’re a bit on the slow side, that means you come across as a fucking joke. But guessing by your reaction here tonight, I'd say you finally figured out.

      It is also very telling that prior to running away like a little bitch, you stated that you only have contempt for "feminine women"- whereas before, we were all merely "baby-making factories".

      Way to back-pedal, right before deleting your posts like the coward you are, yet claim to have so much contempt for.

      I like people who don't put up a front.

      ^Says the guy who struts in here with *SO* much to prove that he claims to be SW’s resident “celebrity”, One True Sociopath, and a god amongst men.

      I know you aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but… Seriously? XD

      You said you could outwit any woman here. You said what this place needed was a "strong alpha male". Yet here you are, getting batted around by a couple of women, only to have them run you off the blog! LOL

      It is on account of amusing little narcs like you that I am always drawn back to this place.

      No, really. This is classic SW. Your humiliation is truly complete.

      Better luck next time. Try again soon! :D

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    12. Ahahahahahaha!
      It's the seventh day, the alpha god needs his alpha rest! Oh man, he sure showed us!

      Now that was some quality entertainment! Five stars. We love ya, Adam, come back soon!
      ;-)

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    13. A, Superchick, & Socioempath-

      Wow-it looks like Adam is really outta here-previous posts and all!!!

      Is that really all it took???

      Too bad, that's not the case with Joanie.:)

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!

      ~Vegas

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    14. What are you even saying? I love them both! XD

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    15. A-

      I know you do-I'm just jealous.:)

      ~Vegas

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  15. I would like to believe that we are more than fallen angels or potential angels. That there is an ancient infinite spark that is larger than our nature. It seems so tragic to be tied to one's nature. I believe there is something bigger. That is free will.

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    1. Is it a relinquishing then, to move beyond?

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  16. Eww, looking at my old posts in that link! I'm too soft. Fuck me.
    M.E. You mine aswell erase them all from me a couple years back.

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    1. No. If you've become stronger by virtue of your interactions here, good. Don't be ashamed of any part of your journey.

      You are fearfully and wonderfully made, just as you are, and are becoming.

      I am reminded here of something compelling North said about the emergent nature of self that I liked very much.

      Own every part of who you were, are, and will become.

      They are all worthy.

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    2. Thanks A , I enjoy your reading ur your thoughts, you always manage to strike a chord within me. :D

      Delete
  17. In my opinion, the illusion of 'free will' is nothing more than a tool society uses to constrict its members to a system which is barely working.

    On a side-note, the title of this article reminded me of the saying "Blame the deed, not the breed."
    I think it is ridiculous that something as basic as this has to be said.

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    1. Was pondering this in the morning.

      It's a mercy and an efficiency we have institutionalised our innate needs for justice or equity of treatment. Imagine if retribution were a free for all.

      There's a very particular way in which the action cannot be decoupled from the actor and that is precisely because of our inbuilt notions of each other as free agents. Under the social contract, responsibility is critical.

      I don't know about love; I do know about mercy and I know it flows when we listen openly to the story of the person before us, whoever that is and whatever they have done. It's my strengthening position that justice operates best at a social level and mercy at a personal level - although there must naturally be flowing between the two.

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    2. Can there be any justice for what sociopaths do on a personal level. I don't think so. There is nothing they could ever do or say that can undo the harm they have done. Most importantly I can never unsee what I saw behind the mask.

      Delete
    3. Anon @ 6:40-

      You can be better than you have ever been!!!

      I call that "justice".:)

      ~Vegas

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    4. I guess what I mean is justice seems hollow when applied to the harm that sociopaths inflict. I feel it is something that one just must endure. Although I do feel there are lines they cross that are criminal and they must be addressed.

      Delete
    5. Anon @ 6:54-

      I understand what you mean.

      If you would like to, you can look into whether what they have done is criminal, or not.

      If their actions are criminal, you will have to decide if it's in your best interest or not, to pursue that avenue...

      ~Vegas

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    6. Thank you Vegas!╰(*´︶`*)╯

      Delete
    7. Anon @ 7:02-

      You are more than welcome.:)

      I wish you the best!!!

      ~Vegas

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    8. P.S. Anon 7:02-

      I do not know what they have done, or where you live.

      Depending on the above, you may be able to look into both "criminal" and "civil" avenues...

      ~Vegas

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    9. "Can there be any justice for what sociopaths do on a personal level. I don't think so. There is nothing they could ever do or say that can undo the harm they have done. Most importantly I can never unsee what I saw behind the mask."

      I hear what you are saying. This has been my very recent struggle: the desire for reparation but no avenues to fulfil it.

      For the most part, I found focusing on my own healing was the best path: removing the focus from the perpetrator and investing energy in my own healing. The following was a fantastic resource that prompted this beautiful approach:

      Reconciling with harm: an alternative to forgiveness and revenge

      But there are other considerations: he tried to initiate legal action (groundlessly) against me so I took the opportunity to carefully prepare my case (with sufficient grounds) against him. To this day I carry four a4 envelopes of documentation in my car should the need arise to defend with attack. I don't want to live my life in the courts but should he choose that route, he will lose.

      And then that deep-seated internal need for reparation. It's a survival drive, I'm quite sure, and something that should be recognised, listened to and honoured. It took a long time for that to really surface and resolve and once it did, I could choose pathways for my energy. I have a clear plan which I'll share here when ready. I am satisfied it's the best use of my energy, with a focus first on my own needs and on how I can assist the human community to the best of my ability.

      This is my path; I hope it helps you see the possibilities in your own situation and wish you all the best.

      "The wholehearted acceptance of pain releases the springs of happiness."
      — Nisargadatta Maharaj

      I think this is so true and ultimately a kindness to yourself.

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    10. Anon @ 6:40-

      I also completely understand what you mean by this:

      "Most importantly I can never unsee what I saw behind the mask."

      You are correct, in that you can never "unsee" what you saw, behind the mask.

      When those images come to my mind, along with the associated feelings, I try to change the images as quickly as possible.

      The frequency, vividness, and strong feelings should lessen with time...

      ~Vegas

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    11. That's right, Vegas. The amplitude and frequency of the waves diminishes and a broader vista of possibility opens.

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    12. North-

      YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

      Our minds are WONDERFUL, aren't they???

      I AM MORE MYSELF WITH EACH PASSING DAY!!!

      I am thinking more clearly, feeling more like myself, have more energy, etc., AND IT'S SO EXCITING!!!

      YOU ARE RIGHT ON!!!

      I see the "broader vista of possibilities" opening for me, more and more, everyday!!!

      IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!

      ~Vegas

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    13. PS North-

      I think that's why Socioempath says I sound like a "giddy toddler".:)

      ~Vegas

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    14. I'm so glad {{{{Vegas}}}}

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    15. North-

      ME, TOO!!!

      Thank you.:)

      Thank you for the {{{{}}}}...YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT!!!

      *****BLUSHING*****

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    16. It's my strengthening position that justice operates best at a social level and mercy at a personal level - although there must naturally be flowing between the two.

      ^Another gem, right there.

      Delete
    17. North thank you. Acceptance of pain must include acceptance of everything that caused pain it seems. Eventually looking it in the eyes and seeing it for exactly what it is. That is so difficult when you just want away from it.

      Delete
    18. An Anon here once wrote it takes a long time to work the impacts out of your system. I found that a very helpful comment. Healing does take a lot of time: this is now almost two years out from a 7 month relationship for me!

      There's so much to make space for. And it is physically making space for your experiences: re-wiring neural pathways to cope with the experience data and subsequent understandings. Pain is your impetus to learn, it actually facilitates those re-wirings.

      It really is your marvellous organism's way of adapting!

      There's just so much to adapt to and it all feels crazily overwhelming but just follow whatever impulses your mind has.

      I'm at a point now where I can start reintroducing discipline and focus and direction into my life but the past 2 years have really been just allowing healing to take priority.

      Be kind to yourself through the process. Always be kind to yourself and know that you are ok. Your organism is quite alive :) and you now have an opportunity to shape your qualitative experience of being alive... even if it does take time.

      If it helps: I created a vision for myself and that was helpful. I purposefully used every emotional experience I had to choose new pathways supporting realisation of that vision.

      Delete
  18. " (...) I'm telling you a psycho mind leads to a dead end. It will destroy your reasoning capacities by feeding you delusions of power & success. Any child knows when you get something the wrong way it never ends up right, ever - it can only fool you in the meanwhile. "

    I'm not totally sure I can agree. Over taking a close look at current events in my life, I would actually have to agree. I guess it depends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NM-

      Oops!!! I replied, in the wrong spot...

      There you are!!!

      I was wondering what happened to you.

      You picked my name, and then disappeared...

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. NM-

      I like seeing your cute dog.:)

      Hey-I wanted to ask you:

      Have you ever picked "Edelweiss Flower"???

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. NM-

      Also, I was going to tease you about "naming me and leaving-just like a man"...

      You don't sound good, though-are you alright???

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. Turn to God and you'll be forever grateful you did. I know it either seems surreal or like a prison to "submit" to God but the peace, security and direction you get in return is indescribable...and that's just in this life. With God is the gift of everlasting bliss.

      Too good and true.

      Delete
    5. NM-

      You left, and "Joanie" has been OUT OF CONTROL!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    6. @Vegas,
      " You don't sound good, though-are you alright??? "
      Not sure if I'm alright. My life has become quite kafkaeque. I should be sad or something, but I'm not.
      There's more indifference than should be, in some situations at least. Other situations actually 'feel' kind of bad. Don't know what to make of that.

      Delete
    7. @Jonaid,
      I don't care about your god - I told you already. Thanks for the comment anyways, it's interesting to read your thoughts.

      Delete
    8. NM-

      I had to look up "Kafkaesque"-I miss your mind.:)

      Everything is happening for a reason, and unfolding as it should-I know things will improve for you...

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    9. PS NM-

      I came across something that mentioned the "Edelweiss Flower", and how it is located in Austria-it made me think of you.:)

      I imagined you "thrill seeking" high in the Austrian Mountains, just to pick some.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    10. NM-

      What you said, made me think of this song:

      U2

      "Where The Streets Have No Name"

      I want to run, I want to hide
      I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside
      I want to reach out and touch the flame
      Where the streets have no name
      (streets have no name)

      I want to feel sunlight on my face
      I see the dust cloud disappear without a trace
      I want to take shelter from the poison rain
      Where the streets have no name
      (streets have no name)
      ooh

      Where the streets have no name
      Where the streets have no name
      We're still building, then burning down love
      (Burning down), burning down love
      And when I go there, I go there with you
      It's all I can do

      The cities a flood and our love turns to rust
      We're beaten and blown by the wind, trampled in dust
      I'll show you a place high on a desert plain
      Where the streets have no name
      (streets have no name)
      ooh

      Where the streets have no name
      Where the streets have no name
      We’re still building, then burning down love
      Burning down love
      And when I go there, I go there with you
      It's all I can do

      Where the streets have no name
      Where the streets have no name
      We’re still building, then burning down love
      Burning down love
      And when I go there, I go there with you
      It's all I can do
      It's all I can do
      It's all I can do
      It's all I can do
      It's all I can do

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    11. Vegas, I used to think everything gets fine again. And yes, it does so for me - but not for others.

      I tried to change my ways of communication, reduce maladaptive patterns - and failed times and times again. Didn't matter, 'cause I can (and do) always try again.

      Made a real masterplan (planning out each and every possible action and reaction) - something I rarely do, as it wastes disproportionately much energy. By the time I thought it worked superb just as it should, everything broke down like a petty house of cards:

      I felt bad after not passing a test for the 3rd time and thought it would be nice to just spend the evening with my significant other so he could tell me that everything will be alright tomorrow. When I called him he sounded annoyed and slightly irritated.
      I didn't think it had anything to do with me, until he showed up. He wasn't nice to me, rather distanced. Angry, almost.

      You know, I really didn't feel good. To be honest, I was almost in tears. (The test I messed up wasn't the only one, there were plenty others, showing me a bitterer version of the truth, plus a number of other problems. The 3-tests-in-a-row-failure just gave me the rest.)

      Long story short, he thought I was playing him, and that I wasn't genuine. He didn't trust me.

      Sweet irony, I used manipulation to make him stay.

      The situation has resolved by now, but left me introspecting, and realizing, that I'm incapable of changing myself.

      There has to be something in my mannerism that made everything look like I was putting up an act. I'm stuck here. I don't know how to change.


      " I imagined you "thrill seeking" high in the Austrian Mountains, just to pick some.:) "

      If there were mountains in my area, I likely would. ;)


      I like the lyrics. I'll listen to the song as soon as I've got a bit more time. Thank you :)

      Delete
    12. Hmmmm...

      I suspect that your sudden change in behavior came as "off" to him and made him suspicious of your intentions.
      Put yourself in his shoes: if you were him, knowing that you were a sociopath, and you suddenly noticed a sudden change in behavior (I'll assume you were dominant before, and now came off as submissive and seeking sympathy), what would you be your first thought?

      About your "inability to change"...
      I have a theory which you may find useful;

      Sociopaths respond to rewards, they unaffected by punishments nor do they really understand them, right?
      So, by focusing on the rewards of a particular behavior, you may be able to change yourself.
      For example;

      Let's say there's a sociopath who likes to swindle and manipulate people in a "bad way", focused on short term gains, but which leave him with a reputation of a "manipulator which should be avoided at all costs" which causes people to eventually become hostile towards him, ostracize and avoid him - he would just move away to a new place for a fresh start, unfazed by the "punishment" since he can always find a fresh new ground, thus leaving a nomadic lifestyle; he may know in the back of his mind that it will become harder for him to live this lifestyle as he "poisons too many wells" and gradually loses his youthful energy as he ages, but the rewards are just too good to give it up.

      If, on the other hand, he notices that by periodically helping people for no apparent reason, by gifts, advices, making them feel good, et cetery, it makes them more friendly towards him, ready to help him out, do him favors, even give him money, he should notice that there is a sufficently big reward in being "good", that it is even less work than constantly moving around, and it is still manipulation, altough of a different kind, but a manipulation that people don't mind and even welcome, as they associate the good feeling with the sociopath. It could even extend, from time to time, towards "punishing" individuals the people dislike, those who "deserve" it, which should satisfy his sadistic destructive impulses.

      So, in conclusion, perhaps you could focus on the rewards of the changes you desire?
      What do you have to gain by eradicating certain behaviors while cultivating others?

      Delete
    13. Socioempath,

      This is intriguing so I am compelled to ask...

      NM was feeling sad and asked for comfort. You've replayed this as 'submissiveness'.

      I'm curious as to your model here... Would you mind elaborating on the connection you've made?

      Cheers

      Delete
    14. Well, it was the easiest, straightforward and most efficient way I could convey my thoughts. Perhaps it could also be looked at as "to allow himself to be healed by another"?

      I'll try to explain; before, he didn't need comfort, but now he does, so he had a desire to "submit" to a degree, to relinquish some control to his partner, to let someone else (his partner) lead him on a journey, to enjoy the moment, to finally feel good again, as I suspect he has grown tired a bit of having to wear so many masks.

      Now, if his partner got used to not "being in control", didn't mind and even enjoyed being led, I suspect this sudden change in his demeanor would come off as strange to him, especially if he knows he's a sociopath.

      I hope this clears it up :-)

      Delete
    15. If, on the other hand, he notices that by periodically helping people for no apparent reason, by gifts, advices, making them feel good, et cetery, it makes them more friendly towards him, ready to help him out, do him favors, even give him money, he should notice that there is a sufficently big reward in being "good", that it is even less work than constantly moving around, and it is still manipulation, altough of a different kind, but a manipulation that people don't mind and even welcome, as they associate the good feeling with the sociopath.


      ^Exactly. Seek to find ways you can set up optimal conditions where you can exercise your natural strengths. Screw tests and society's evaluations! Don't ever define yourself in terms of someone else's expectations. You likely have plenty of strengths that you could put to excellent and very productive use, NM. Perhaps these failed tests are merely an indication that you are currently travelling a path that does not highlight, or leverage them to your advantage.

      Being a manipulative person can be a very positive attribute. Don't try to change it, you will not be successful. Own who and what you are. Like SE touched on, channel it. Employ this trait in ways that are mutually beneficial.

      It could even extend, from time to time, towards "punishing" individuals the people dislike, those who "deserve" it, which should satisfy his sadistic destructive impulses.

      Or you could do like me, and find little sandboxes like this one to play in. ;)

      Delete
    16. @Socioempath, thank you for the input.
      " what would you be your first thought? "

      Likely the same as yours, but after thinking about it, especially after taking more variables into account, it seems rather illogical this is the reason for his doubt.

      His reaction was way too intense, it must be some long term problem that skipped my radar I think...

      " I suspect that your sudden change in behavior came as "off" to him and made him suspicious of your intentions. "
      " I'll assume you were dominant before, and now came off as submissive and seeking sympathy "

      Actually he already knew this side of me, sometimes I behave rather submissively - but yes, about 80% of the time I'm dominant toward him.

      It wasn't so much a sudden change as it was a gradual change, about half a week beforehand I started to be rather grumpy...

      He was diagnosed with ADHD in childhood, a good portion of the pattern is persistent. If it wasn't for other details, I would have guessed he got annoyed with the duration of the temporary change in behavior. Without introspection, I likely would have taken that guess as a matter of fact. But again, the untypical high intensity of his reaction doesn't add up.


      " So, by focusing on the rewards of a particular behavior, you may be able to change yourself. "

      Exactly what I tried, look:
      - By keeping my promises, taking my own words at face value, doing exactly what I said I was going to do, no lying when it seems important, I keep my exit routes cleared at all times and eliminate the possibility of getting trapped with my own trap. (that's a high priority task for me.)

      - By making small gifts (cigarettes, medication, potentially useful stuff), compliments, giving good advice, listening to his problems and all that, let's say, "white magic stuff" aka benevolent manipulation which you actually mentioned above, so I keep an "essentially good guy - aura" and benefit from a similar behavior of his. (works actually much better in a work setting, but still good enough)

      - I declare total honesty toward him, have no secrets, don't try to deceive him, so he trusts me which makes it possible for me to hypothetically use deceit, lies through omission, secrets etc. if it gets really necessary (again, an exit route.)

      - I attenuate my sadistic impulses through societal justifyable behaviors and consensual acts of violence, so he doesn't get creeped out by me, doesn't strike back etc.

      Yet it doesn't work. On the one hand side it is a pain in the ass to stay focused on everything I have to gain from this theatre, and on the other hand side it takes so damned long until the benefits show up (Within my relationship it seems to matter little 'cause he accepts me the way I am, the problem seems to lie somewhere else, somehow... Honestly, I don't get it.)

      However, since you came up with quite similar strategies, I can't be too far off - right? That helps a bit. I was close to thinking I went down the wrong road alltogether.

      Delete
    17. North, I automatically equated 'seeking comfort when feeling sad' with submissiveness. Didn't think there was a difference in the first place.

      Delete
    18. Well, I'd say you are on a good road.

      This strategy could also be extended further;
      When you see a chance, instead of asking yourself, "what can I gain by doing it", you could ask yourself "what could I gain by not doing it".

      For example, somebody you know offers you some money as a sign of gratitude - by not accepting the money, you gain more influence in the future, and the word could spread of your "generosity and good-will", which could be more useful to you than the short-term money gain. By accepting the money you clear his "debt", but by not accepting it, he will do other things, like getting you access to something or somewhere exclusive and hard to get.

      Or you could do like me, and find little sandboxes like this one to play in. ;)

      Heheehhehehehehe ;-)
      Ohhh yeah, you can bet yer ass I'm doing it!

      Delete
    19. Thanks Socioempath.

      This goes to a point a few of us were exploring about vulnerability or openness to sharing a journey.

      I recognise that same barrenness, isolation, disconnection that misses so much of the value of neurotypical humanity.

      It seems such a shame to me because it's the ability to share one's vulnerability that opens the door to trust and trust to collaboration and collaboration to far greater explorations, adventures and achievement. The reason this functions well is because it is sharing of risk. Trust feels good and is the foundation for human relationships.

      That said, I understand isolation too. I am alone now and am choosing not to seek a relationship at the moment. This allows me to develop a closer relationship with myself, learning to trust myself so I can enter appropriate trust relationships with others, not ones with the horrendous and useless power imbalance you describe.

      Thankyou for the clarity, I appreciate it. Your model is not something I would seek, my brain is wired to collaborate and I am learning better practices for doing so.



      Delete
    20. Thanks NM. It's very interesting, the difference. I'm starting to see the very stark emphasis on power, it makes sense of many things for me.

      I'm sure you'll find your way through though it's very difficult for me to imagine the world through your eyes in this respect. Take care :)

      Delete
    21. A, it was my own expectation of my oh so glorious abilities which bore the downfall. I thought I was way too intelligent to learn everyday like everyone else does... I was being an arrogant, self deluded idiot and payed the price when reality punched me in da face xD

      I still struggle with finding the balance between "No NM, you're not capable of this and you don't have superpowers" and "You can do this, you're a living god, you're the Übermensch". Occasionally I slip.

      Social sandboxes like this are actually in use :)

      Delete
    22. Socioempath,
      " This strategy could also be extended further;
      When you see a chance, instead of asking yourself, "what can I gain by doing it", you could ask yourself "what could I gain by not doing it". "

      ^My mother taught me that when I was still pretty young. Works nicely :)

      Delete
    23. 'You likely have plenty of strengths that you could put to excellent and very productive use, NM. Perhaps these failed tests are merely an indication that you are currently travelling a path that does not highlight, or leverage them to your advantage.'

      A, this is such good advice for everyone. Society is so much construction; our relations to any particular model are only relations to the dominant norms of the time - which are merely elements in our environment to navigate and not absolutes from the universe by which we must measure our own worth. Society as context rather than constraint.

      Delete
    24. hahahaa! I *completely* relate. I am often overconfident, and sometimes this causes me to overestimate my abilities. I leave everything to the last minute, fully expecting to excel. I'll move mountains to ensure that I do, but sometimes my efforts fall flat, and I end up under a mountain of shit of my own making. I can be a downright irresponsible flake, at times.

      North, I automatically equated 'seeking comfort when feeling sad' with submissiveness. Didn't think there was a difference in the first place

      Yep. We're the strong ones. People are supposed to come to us for support, not vice-versa. Vulnerability is anathema!!! LOL

      Yes, that is just a manifestation of narcissism and ego. But understanding this cognitively does not mean that we are comfortable with it, emotionally.

      See? Even writing that makes me feel like a douche. Lol. :P

      Delete
    25. Thanks A, I appreciate your writing it though.

      Delete
    26. North,
      " it's the ability to share one's vulnerability that opens the door to trust and trust to collaboration and collaboration to far greater explorations, adventures and achievement. The reason this functions well is because it is sharing of risk. "

      I agree with you. Trust is important, however I don't trust anyone. It takes a lot of time until I trust someone, and not everyone is suitable to be trusted by me. In the cases where I can trust someone, it's fantastic tho.

      And you're welcome, North. Take care too :)

      Delete
    27. A,
      " Yep. We're the strong ones. People are supposed to come to us for support, not vice-versa. Vulnerability is anathema!!! LOL "

      Ha, totally xD

      " But understanding this cognitively does not mean that we are comfortable with it, emotionally. "

      I am, it's just annoying that I can't decide for myself whether I'm an asshole or not.

      Delete
    28. I am seeking freedom. Not power. I believe they are very different and I don't know if I believe freedom can be achieved thru power. True freedom seems to be self sufficient and not reliant on others to achieve goals.

      Delete
    29. Thanks very much, NM :)

      Do you need to decide or box yourself? It is tempting for me too sometimes, but I think we can just choose to grow and not worry about labels.

      Anon 10:47 I also preference freedom.

      Delete
    30. You sure you're comfortable with it, if you think it potentially makes you an asshat? ;)

      I know what you mean, though. It takes me forever to trust anyone. I don't have many real friends. (Two, including my husband)

      I don't even particularly like being vulnerable with him, except in very specific ways. And I'm still in control.

      Anon 10:47... Agreed. Real power invariably saddles a person with responsibility. That is the trade-off.

      Apart from the context of caring for my immediate family, acquiring power is the only thing that can compel me to accept responsibility for any amount of time. And even then, I cannot tell you how many times I've walked away from various jobs and scenarios with an impulsive "ahhh, fuck it." (Or, in the immortal words of Southpark's Eric Cartman, "Screw you guys, I'm going home".)


      Delete
    31. North,
      " Do you need to decide or box yourself? "

      Sometimes, but rather in work settings, not so much in my private life. I've given up worrying about labels, the only thing they're useful as is to create a short-cut for explaining a complex theme. :)



      A,
      " You sure you're comfortable with it, if you think it potentially makes you an asshat? ;) "

      LOL yes, I'm still sure, even after reading the definitions in the urban dictionary xD

      Used to be worse tho. I remember I smoked a lot, but payed rarely for cigarettes, instead I asked complete strangers to give me theirs - I even asked a homeless woman for a cigarette. She refused and I called her an asshole for being unpolite. An example for just one faux pas.... (What was the definition of tactless again?)

      " I know what you mean, though. It takes me forever to trust anyone. I don't have many real friends. (Two, including my husband)

      I don't even particularly like being vulnerable with him, except in very specific ways. And I'm still in control. "

      Real friends are rare... even for those 'normal' people. Except for my current on/off relationship there's no closeness at all in my life currently. As far as I remember, I have never had more than 3 real friends at once. Sometimes I get all melancholic and think about how it would be to have more friends, more people to trust. Then I snap back into reality.

      I've never liked being vulnerable, and likely never will. However, with my significant other, I sometimes feel at ease even within a vulnerable situation. I've never met someone like him before. I think he might have (some) sociopathic tendencies... He seems to look right through my manipulations and lies, without the slightest trace of concern. (I do have to assure him sometimes tho that my intentions aren't malignant.) He's a liar too, almost at the same level as me.

      Delete
    32. Ha! I guess I didn't communicate that clearly. I didn't mean being comfortable being an asshole. That's (too) easy. At a certain point in my life, I've spit on or hit people people for looking at me askance at me. I *know* I can definitely be an asshole. LOL.

      I meant being comfortable being vulnerable. It makes me feel weak to be vulnerable, which I dislike it immensely. I'm trying to get over that (not really) because it prevents me from being truly intimate with anyone.

      I lie without compunction too, but I try not to do it without "good" reason. (And in truth, those reasons are rarely actually good.)

      I've never met anyone who can see through all my manipulations and lies, but I married someone who gets it right on occasion. But I am not fully transparent, even with him.

      The closest I've ever come to it is on this blog, over the years.

      Delete
    33. "I don't care about your god - I told you already. Thanks for the comment anyways, it's interesting to read your thoughts."

      You're welcome. God is your God too - whether you acknowledge it or not. It's one thing to be ignorant (like I was...an atheist) and its quite another to dismiss it as folly. I don't grovel for "fire" "flame" "energy" "spirit" - I pray to their (and everything else's) Creator. Unfortunately most "awakened" people opt for the former, either out of fear or to satisfy their base instincts. Psychopathy is selling yourself for a cheap price and then pretending to be a big shot. It's a mad delusion which, when you go in too deep, you're forever trapped in. The only time you exit is when you die. That would be okay if you weren't going to be resurrected by God, the One & Only, and held to account for everything, small and big.

      Good luck with your troubles. The way to ultimate success starts off hard but leads to tremendous ease & pleasure. The psychopathic way is the reverse. It takes courage, integrity and foresight to make the right decision. Psychopaths have none of those qualities.

      Delete
    34. In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.

      "And the trumpet is blown and lo! from the graves they hie unto their Lord,

      Crying: Woe upon us! Who hath raised us from our place of sleep? This is that which the Beneficent did promise, and the messengers spoke truth.

      It is but one Shout, and behold them brought together before Us!

      This day no soul is wronged in aught; nor are ye requited aught save what ye used to do."

      Qur'an 36: 51-54

      Delete
    35. It's like you're superstitiously trying to sprinkle Islamic holy water all over us, or something. And it's just about as effective. :P

      Delete
    36. Hey NM!!!

      It looks like you got good advice from Socioempath, North, and A!!!

      How are things going for you with your SO, tests, etc.??? Well, I hope.:)

      Does your SO know you are a sociopath???

      I'm glad you liked the lyrics!!! You are more than welcome.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    37. It takes courage, integrity and foresight to make the right decision. Psychopaths have none of those qualities.

      Maybe lacking integrity, but courage and foresight are pretty strong in psychopaths.

      those are actually qualities i see that you lack jihad. you are a pathetic creature. which is why you hang onto your little boyfriend who languishes in jail and you cling to your god hoping he will help you in a world that's turned its back on you

      Delete
  19. SW Song Of The DayMarch 2, 2016 at 1:51 PM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SckD99B51IA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NM-

      There you are!!!

      I was wondering what happened to you.

      You picked my name, and then disappeared...

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I've been encountering some interesting situations and ideas in my work. I love these pure consulting pieces where we meet with a wide variety of stakeholders - it feeds my mind and energises me.

    Has anyone here encountered Agile? I'm talking about the "pure" mindset rather than practice driven Agile. So in my work, the business environment is in flux; there's elements of a push to shift the way business operates IAW the Agile model. This requires not only a mindset shift but a massive shift in the way resources are distributed and accounted for... which of course means a shift in what organisational power means.

    I'd love to rave on about the mindset / cultish aspects of what I'm seeing, it's simply phenomenal and completely fascinating. Being in that room with 80 people who are subscribed to social contracts that explicitly call out empathy; all that colour and buzz. It's a good vibe that I imagine is addictive. It's elitist. And despite the "mindset" being all about "breaking assumptions", the culture has formed very, very strongly around a new set of norms and outsider questioning is greeted with defensiveness. Honestly, I was watching everyone drinking the Koolaid, becoming intoxicated and leaving their brains at the door. I wondered how any psychopaths in the room might have been experiencing it. And when the head honcho approached us and asked us not to leave without speaking to him... I naturally wondered what his agenda was. Because those things don't disappear because people scrawl the word "empathy" all over the walls. People are still motivated by the same old things.

    But back to the power question. Excellent interview with a fellow in a different business area who had previously been part of the Agile delivery group. He used the word cult. It was such a fascinating discussion because the organisational changes required are risky, dangerous and require movement so far away from current norms that the nature of power in the new context might change. It may not be about the number of staff you have or your organisational budget because the new model may be something like projectisation, ie temporary. I could see this guy was cluey becuase he called out power shifts as the major blocker to the changes (like always) so I asked him:

    What does power mean in the new context?

    He answered: Reward.

    I don't know yet if that works. The business becomes value driven; people are rewarded for delivering outcomes.

    Please tell me your opinions: is power tokenisable like this? Or will the new structure of the business likely reform around control of staff resources and budget. I personally think it will be the latter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. North-

      I think you are correct, in that it'll be the latter...

      Keep us posted!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. Yes, I think it's quite inevitable, irresistible. :)

      Delete
  22. Socioempath-

    Do you have any poems and/or songs for me today???

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sorry, my dear. I do not...
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Hehehehehehhe ;-)
      GOOSEBUMP TIME!

      Delete
    2. Socioempath-

      YOU TOTALLY HAD ME!!! WELL PLAYED!!!

      You should have seen my face-

      No poem??? No song??? Sad.:(

      Then-

      THE BEST SONG YOU HAVE GIVEN ME YET!!!

      HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!

      We normals are SO EASY, aren't we???

      I can admit it!!! HA!!! LOL!!!

      YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!! YOU ROCK!!!

      Thank you, for the song.:) I LOVED IT!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. Socioempath-

      PS-THE SONG DEFINITELY GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS!!!

      AWESOME!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. PSS Socioempath-

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!

      I was SO EXCITED about the song, I almost forgot!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  23. Socioempath-

    P.S.-

    ALLAHU AKBAR!!!

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Socioempath-

      OMG!!! THAT IS HYSTERICAL!!!

      That is THE PERFECT THEME SONG for Joanie!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Adam-

    What country do you live in???

    Also-

    One day you just might find yourself being comfortable enough to have a cause, support a family, a wife, and/or a team...

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adam-

      Um, seriously???

      Isn't that the "Boiler Room Capital of the World"???

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  26. All updates about upcoming event T20 World Cup 2016. Live Commentry http://t20wc2016.com/t20-world-cup-2016-live-streaming/ T20 World Cup 2016 Live Streaming, Updates, Ball by Ball Score and T20 Schedule, team squard, Team kits and fixtures.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mr Hyde,

    If you are still around, it would be nice to hear your very valuable perspective :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Regarding the discussion of vulnerability... it just makes perfect sense of why all the potential that lured me to him could never, ever be realised.

    And he would travel his entire life never realising it yet at the same time thinking he is a god. Holy fuck!

    It means such a shame to me - and I pity him for that - but at the same time it's probably a potential he can't even perceive. That blows my fucking mind.

    Thanks for sharing, guys, I really appreciate it. I'm not trying to attack you here, it's just an aha moment of what the difference really amounts to and I'm grateful to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thinking about this a bit more, I have myself been very avoidant and not good at being vulnerable. Often when I open up and people respond, I run the fuck away. I have tended to be either avoidant (with most people) or ambivalent (with people I feel I could potentially relate closely to).

      I suppose the difference for me is I didn't conceive of vulnerability as surrendering power; rather, it's fear of two things:

      * of abandonment - relating to my father, and resulting in my ambivalent attachment style
      or

      * of not being seen for who I am - relating to my mother and resulting in my avoidant attachment style.

      I'm really slowly learning to trust, and this is mainly through work relationships that don't get too personal. I'm finding this to be very, very productive. At the moment, I'm getting to know the man who has been my boss for the past three years and is now more of a very senior peer as a result of a restructure. It's so rewarding and we are working so well together as a result of our opening up to each other about our work vulnerabilities and concerns. There's a lot of respect between us and I even feel comfortable exploring the ideas I posted above, which are tangential to my work. It's a measure of how I am growing.

      Delete
    2. Hmm, honestly these discussions were very energising for me. About half way through the day, it popped into my head why y'all consider neurotypicals weak - it's simply such a different conception you have.

      We all know the results of this mismatch of models but to finally see its source is liberating and exciting.

      I see far more wide ranging applications for this understanding beyond my mere personal circumstance.

      An early understanding I came to is that what psychopaths see as individual weakness is actually collective human strength and one mechanism of operation for that is now clearer for me.

      This discussion will assist me articulate my arguments a little better. I realise others have previously come to the understanding I reached today. I can present the findings objectively, however, and without vitriol. The downside to this project of increased awareness however for psychopaths is that people will understand the basis for your claims to superiority and will reject them. The upside is they will be far better placed to view your strong characteristics positively and will be far better aware of themselves. Hopefully this will fertilise growth for all.

      Delete
    3. fortunately for such psychopaths they are not limited to verbiage to prove their intelligence.

      Delete
    4. North-

      You are right-we haven't seen Mr. Hyde in awhile...

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  29. Good discussion, all of you, I enjoyed reading your perspectives and views on the comment thread. I'm confined to couch for a few days , usually I pull something once a year with L4L5 lumbar spine shit, kinda pissed off I can't take shifts at all this week , texts are ringing off the hook, but the conversations here are interesting. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you feel better soon, Chiquita. Good to see you around more often, lately.

      Delete
    2. Thanks A, meds are kicking in , :) funny my friend just texted me earlier on , " Hey Chiquita .. What time Saturday I come then? Just tried calling ur house ............... "

      She calls me that from time to time, she's a rare breed , committed , been tight since grade eight. We're both 38 years old. She listens to all my energy ... Lol And I compare her a lot to my husband, there so much alike.

      Delete
    3. Superchick-

      I agree-it has been a good discussion, and I have also enjoyed reading everyone's posts!!!

      I'm sorry your stuck on the couch, but meds are always nice, aren't they???

      I hope your back feels better soon!!!

      I agree with A-it's good to have you around more!!!

      GIRL POWER!!!

      It sounds like you have a good friend who is committed-they are rare breeds!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  30. my name is ukan, i am the author of malignant self ukan, ukan revisited

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My, my. He seems to have made quite an impression on you. But nobody would mistake you for him. At least his jokes were funny.

      Do you think he'll respond to your lonely alpha mating cry? xD

      Delete
  31. TheNotableNigerianMarch 3, 2016 at 12:49 PM

    greetings from london aka new republic of nigeria

    ReplyDelete
  32. My skinny jeans is a sociopath its choking my balls to death

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be ridiculous. Not even the coolest skinny jeans can kill what's nonexistent.

      Delete
    2. Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

      ― Betty White

      :D

      Delete
    3. Damn, A, that is a great quote.

      Delete
    4. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

      never a truer word spoken

      Delete
    5. UKan, are you from dublin?

      Delete
    6. im from uranus

      Delete
    7. You should reveal yourself UKan seeing as your allies here are stronger than enemies. You can't stay an enigma forever surely? Even BTK got fed up with not being caught.

      Delete
    8. ...Said the anonymouse. :)

      Delete
    9. A-

      I LOVED THIS QUOTE:

      Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

      ― Betty White

      SO TRUE!!!

      I LOVE BETTY WHITE!!!

      SHE IS SO FUNNY AND SO COOL!!!

      She's 94, and still does stints on Saturday Night Live!!!

      AWESOME!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  33. I'm sipping some home brewed organic coffee with almond milk and eating a dominoes pizza. All paid for by my idiotic aunt. Indeed it doesn't get better than that, peasants.

    Today I thought about what i would do if i won the lottery. First I'd buy a white Lamborghini and build my own gym in my mansion. I'd buy a ton of Italian designer suits and Armani sunglasses and a gold iphone. Every night I would drive my Lamborghini to the most expensive restaurants and afterwards attend the hottest VIP bars. I wouldn't give any money to charity or my family tbh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok there Kanye.

      Since your "idiotic aunt" is currently maintaining your lavish lifestyle consisting of hipster coffee and shit pizza, I've got a feeling it's going to quite some time before you can afford anything Armani. :P

      And a *white* Lamborghini? What the fuck is the matter with you?

      Delete
    2. Wow! My god, how exciting!

      You got... COFFEE, MILK AND PIZZA?? FOR FREE????

      SO AWESOME! Truly, the accomplishment of the century! That's the alpha way! Yarrrrr!

      Delete
    3. I don't even know who you are. Since when does one person own a monopoly on living extravagent you stupid cunt? You should believe in yourself more, you have a losers mentality. Or as I call it 'the poverty mindset'

      I don't joke around if you want to disrespect me give me your name and address and I'll gladly see to you in person. do you want your pets to disappear?

      Delete
    4. Ooohhh, watch out!

      The steroid junkie is gonna come at you with his horde of pitbulls and strangle you with one of his sixty golden chains!

      Delete
    5. Uhh, you're lecturing others on having a "poverty mindset" when you need your aunt to pay for your coffee and pizza, and threatening their gerbils when they disrespect your authorit-aay? XD

      I can't believe how easy you're making this!

      LOL


      Delete
    6. Okok. Socioempath, we'd better watch it, or we'll lose our prey again.

      Please, little mousie, don't go! xD

      Delete
    7. Awww... But I was just getting started! :-(

      His aunt must have taken away his computer.
      Little kids can't stay up late, you know!

      Delete
    8. I'm sipping some home brewed organic coffee with almond milk and eating a dominoes pizza. All paid for by my idiotic aunt. Indeed it doesn't get better than that, peasants.

      Calling people peasants while you eat cheap pizza that you couldn't afford. ha ha. how can you not see yourself as a joke.

      You should believe in yourself more, you have a losers mentality. Or as I call it 'the poverty mindset'

      ha ha. are you real? nobody can be this much of a joke. what do you know about success. you wish upon a star to win the lottery, like every poor person does, to rip you away from your pathetic life of living in your aunts graces and eating shite pizza.

      my name is ukan, i am the author of malignant self ukan, ukan revisited

      say my name three times and here I am

      Delete
    9. I can't believe how easy you're making this!

      Me either. Thanks for the jacket.

      Delete
    10. No problem, Adam. ;)

      Delete
    11. No problem, Adam. ;)

      nope

      Delete
    12. He can't possibly be real. Lol.

      Delete
    13. maybe so, but im not foot that wears that sock.

      Delete
    14. Whatever you say, mate. ;)

      Welcome back.

      Delete
    15. it will be a brief stay

      Delete
  34. SW Song Of The DayMarch 3, 2016 at 5:01 PM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hoDjhniOqA

    ReplyDelete
  35. Theme Songs for SW RegularsMarch 3, 2016 at 5:20 PM

    A's official theme song


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjzJALL38ww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww! And here's one selected especially for you, mi {{{{Ami}}}} ;)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ

      Delete
    2. ha ha. i wonder what will happen when this site falls. ami will likely play a game of hangman with herself. a shame she can't spell

      Delete
  36. Theme Songs for SW RegularsMarch 3, 2016 at 5:27 PM

    Jonaids official theme song


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXEvwLAykbk

    ReplyDelete
  37. Theme Songs for SW RegularsMarch 3, 2016 at 5:37 PM

    Adam's Official Theme Song


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1v9Z2FVkuY


    ReplyDelete
  38. god i hate gingers, they are disgusting creatures lower than roaches.

    ReplyDelete
  39. http://www.kevindutton.co.uk/personality-test.php

    My results -

    Neuroticism

    Score: Average
    You tend to be generally calm and able to deal with stress, but sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness.

    Extraversion

    Score: Low
    You tend to be introverted, reserved, serious. You prefer to be alone or with a few close friends.

    Openness to Experience

    Score: Low
    You tend to be down-to-earth, practical, traditional, and pretty much set in your ways.

    Agreeableness

    Score: Very Low
    You tend to be hardheaded, sceptical, proud, and competitive. You tend to express anger directly.

    Conscientiousness

    Score: Very Low
    You tend to be easygoing, not very well organized, sometimes careless. You prefer not to make plans.

    Persuasiveness

    Score: Very High
    You are confident. charismatic, empathic, and have a strong personality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neuroticism: Low
      Extraversion: High
      Openness to Experience: Very High
      Agreeableness: Average
      Conscientiousness: Average
      Persuasiveness: High

      Compared to my results on Big 5 tests while I was married, this is massively different on some dimensions.

      I remember scoring in the top 3% for introversion - I was basically schizoid style. People now pick me as extroverted at work; I really don't think I am but I do get very excited and expressive about ideas and I have a lot of physical energy. That's the biggest change.

      Next is Conscientiousness: I'd have previously scored very highly on that. I'm exploring so much of who I am that I am less focused on my work and my training - I still perform well though; I'm not slipping. Just this year I'm feeling ready to re-apply a bit more focus.

      Persuasiveness is a new dimension. Since I barely even spoke previously, that's bound to be higher.

      Thankyou **-* for waking me the f up :)

      Delete
  40. www.kevindutton.co.uk/psychopath-challenge.php

    Your Psychopath Challenge score is very high:
    33 out of a possible 33

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a sucker for tests.

      Your Psychopath Challenge score is average:
      19 out of a possible 33

      Delete
  41. Loser

    Score: Very High

    You eat cheap pizza and rely on distant relatives for charity whilst touting your superiority based on wealth you don't have

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm no introvert I have phenomenal social skilled, but I dislike talking to people. If someone tries speaking with me on the street I ignore them. It's not that I am bad, but I grew up around common working class people and I know it's in their nature to be immoral and cruel. They are usually hard working, but what does that mean? Nothing. Hitler was very hard working and look what that dipshit did to Europe.

    I hate how someone could be the worst scum on earth, but once he works hard and is nice enough to beat his wife out of public view, everyone sweeps his misdeeds under the rug. Fuck that. I dream of a world where every bad person is reminded of how shitty they are every time, they walk outside their front door. I wish communities and passers by on the street, would publicly shame wife beaters, junkies, sleazes who get pay for prostitutes and pedophiles from the second, they walk outside their front doors. A culture of accountability, nothing hidden.

    ReplyDelete

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