Thursday, June 12, 2014

Logic and labels

From a reader:

Hello M.E.,

I just finished reading your book and really enjoyed reading it.

I find you to be interesting and likeable. I think that I could definitely be your friend :).

I respect that you are trying to educate people about sociopaths and point out that all humans are more similar than they are different.

I have experienced an excessive sense of guilt and was diagnosed as having OCD, with my obsession being guilt.

I am doing a lot better now and feel very stable. It interests me to read the perspective from an individual that doesn't feel guilt. And I am happy to learn from a variety of perspectives. I believe that human beings are all selfish, whether we are sociopathic or empathic, and I also agree that people fall upon a spectrum. What I most believe, however, is that being empathic does not equate with good behaviour. For example, I rationally believe that I should be vegetarian because of how abused the animals are. However, empathically I don't feel a sense of guilt after eating meat, so I continue to eat meat despite my intellect knowing that it isn't right. Therefore, empaths can often do things that are wrong, or that they know are wrong, simply because they can avoid the guilt/remorse response within themselves. If sociopaths often operate from a rational morality, they may make decisions that empaths won't because empaths are relying on their feelings to dictate their behaviour in particular situations. I know that this is a generalisation, but it is something that I thought about when reading your book. There is no righteousness in being empathic, and just because I am highly empathic doesn't mean that I am not selfish. 

There's a gift in your state of existence and your unique journey, just as there's a gift in mine. We both have things to teach ourselves and others. We both have the opportunity to enrich lives. By spreading greater awareness of sociopathy, you are enriching lives and helping many to feel less ostracised. In doing that you're acting in a way that many would assume to be contrary to sociopathic behaviour - you're helping people. But I'm aware that sociopaths do good and bad, just as empaths do good and bad. People are people.

But what was maybe most interesting part of the exchange for me was talking about how the reader's open-mindedness and sexual orientation might play out together. I said: "It's interesting that you are gay and seem to not be caught up as much in "sheeple" thought, for lack of a better word for it -- i.e., you seem to be more openminded and self-aware than most people. Do you think there is a connection there?"


I don't think being gay has anything to do with being open-minded. There are so many gays who are judgmental of other LGBTI individuals. Many gays actually reject gender-queer and transgendered people. That is upsetting for me because I love all my queer brothers and sisters. 

It is interesting. One of my friends was gay, now transgendered and pretty much disowned from his previous gay community. Of course there could be a lot of reasons why that happens, but I've found that to be true of mental illnesses too: "ours is ok, but these other people are really sickos". I think it's funny when people argue that marriage equality does not include the right to marry as many people as you want. Because, why not? Could it be that people come up with their beliefs/convictions first and then later convince themselves that there are logical justifications for those convictions? 


  1. Yay! I wrote that. Thanks M.E! I would love to converse more.

  2. Are u male or female?

  3. Very female :)

    *points to self
    As lipstick as they come.

  4. Lol how did you?
    Cause I am trying to shuffle closer to M.E. on the invisible pink fluffy couch? :)

  5. "When a man shall leave his mother and father and CLEAVE unto
    his wife they shall be ONE FLESH."
    Unauthorized "cleaving" or attempts to cleave are EVIL.
    First of all, "cleaving" means heteralsexual intercourse between male and female. Two men cannot cleave to one another. A penis
    cannot cleave to a mouth or a rectum. It can only cleave to a
    vagina. It was only meant by GOD to cleave to a vagina. That's
    what a wedding ring symbolizes.
    Only a husband and wife can "cleave" in a sinless way.
    For example, a few years back two ex-convicts home invaded a
    Dr.'s home in CT. The doctor had two daughters 15 and 19. He
    also had a crippled wife. The convicts made the wife take money
    out of the bank. Then they raped and murdered the Dr.'s wife, and
    raped and set both daughters on fire.
    In a technical sense, it was male/female cleaving but this was
    wicked and unauthorized cleaving. Cleaving outside of marriage is
    wrong. They imposed a kind of hell on the daughters. Unless they
    have a heartfelt conversion in their time left on earth they will be
    sent to actual hell.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. I've no idea what your post was about and what you're trying to say. Are you trying to say that homosexuality is wrong? If so, then why does it exist in 1500 animal species? Anyway, it doesn't matter what your point is, because I'm still going to enjoy being a lesbian, and I'm sure that you won't stop M.E. from loving boobies and penises, too.
    - Willow (the one who wrote the email)

    1. Following your logic: are you trying to say that rape is wrong? Cats, organutans and a host of other animals do things that if humans did them, we'd call rape.

      Muslims don't consider rape wrong - so long as you rape your non-believing female war captives.

      FWIW: I'm a psychopath. I don't rape, but I can't for the life of me figure out how it could logically be wrong, in the way that it feels "wrong" to most people. I can see how it might be against our state's law or otherwise against the rules - but that's about it.

      If men can marry men and women can marry women, I hope we get legal bestiality and polygamy too - not for higher reasons like freedom - but just because it will be fun to watch people get upset and act ridiculously.

      I don't have a problem with polygamy or bestiality - it doesn't feel wrong to me. I can even see a case for child marriages - like the traditional mormons. That seems to work just fine, biologically. I can see how all of that might be illegal or against the rules - but that doesn't mean it feels wrong to me, any more than running a red light at 330 AM when there's no traffic in sight feels wrong.

    2. Polygamy is prolific in nature. In fact, most species of primates practice it. Even those that practice monogamy only do so loosely - "cheating" happens often without issues. It is, at its core, a superior form of natural survival compared to monogamy.

    3. May I step in here. I want to see polyandry legalized and accepted. Would love to see a TV series on this.

    4. Yep, and they would be Chippendales :D:D:D

    5. LOL, So true Dr. G :-) ;-)

    6. Anon 6:12
      I'm an empath and I can see your point of view. You'd teach me lots. It's not all black & white. Rules and societal norms only work so far within community norms. I've read some of your previous comments on other threads (the transgender one). I think you wrote that, if I'm not mistaken. My initial reaction was a little disgust, it took me back, but I read it over again openly to really see what you were getting at...And yes, I see your point of view clearly now. You weren't judging transgender people. Bob clearly understood it (it was almost metaphorical). It took me reading it again to see what you were trying to say. I tried commenting that I got your argument....but my phone battery died. I'm now a bit disgusted in myself for judging you in my initial reaction. It's people like you that keep me entertained and open - minded. You belong, and your accepted for being who you were meant to be. I do respect your thoughts. ;)

  7. The empath world has limits & boundaries, these are things average psychopaths/scorps (zodiac scorpio) dislike. Norms. These things can annoy, but their purpose is to avoid having society falling apart & turning into jungle. Most (self aware non-empaths) realize that the jungle option in reality is a dump..

  8. What about the destructive norms; the norms that maintain the entrenched societal inequalities that we see all around us. Our norms aren't all they're cracked up to be. Should we thank the empaths for that? Or blame the sociopaths? Or are people people?

  9. By the way, this is my new name. I'm also willow and also anonymous and also the original sender of the email to M.E. And by the way, we do live in a jungle. A well disguised jungle where the lions of the jungle eat there predators and maintain their power status by disempowered and dehumanising most of humanity.

  10. ..real freedom would soon turn into real anarchy.

  11. "I've found that to be true of mental illnesses too: "ours is ok, but these other people are really sickos"."
    A lot of your readership seems to be of the same mindset, from 'victims' coming on to vent at psychopaths, to the psychopaths themselves hating on aspies and narcissists. But maybe that's what you had in mind when you were writing that.

    1. You totally missed the point she was implying. Read it again.

  12. I read the post. I thought it was well written. I caught myself nodding 'yes' many times.

    ""I have experienced an excessive sense of guilt and was diagnosed as having OCD, with my obsession being guilt.""

    Interesting...... I was diagnosed with ocd before my "bpd traits" diagnose. Have you ever heard of scrupulousity ocd...its a fuckin killer disease. My religion fed the disease. My first bout of it hit me at 19 years of age -- then again at age 25. Certain sermons would trigger it. It's way under control now and i don't attend church regularly anymore. But my views with religion have changed drastically since then.

    1. There is a movie called "luther" Martin Luther's biography (2003). My good friend who was also the pastors wife (she passed away of cancer) would always tell me how the movie luther reminded her of me. She was like that's "you. " He suffered also from scrupulosity guilt ocd. But as the years have gone ....I ain't that girl no more. Far from it.

  13. When a person accepts Jesus Christ in an honest and heartfelt
    way, they recieve the "gift" of the Holy Spirit. This is devine power
    that connects them DIRECTLY to God. It is a vitalizing energy that
    they can FEEL. They now TRULY belong to God. They have been
    CONVERTED like little children. They no longer need any mediators
    in the form of human beings and rule books. They do NOT need
    the visible Church. The "LAW" is now imprinted on the "Fleshly tables of the heart."
    When you TRULY become "born again" your actually nature changes. You DON'T WANT to engage in sexual sins. You DON'T
    WANT to follow your 9th grade math teacher into the bathroom
    slug her, and perform rape and murderous torture on her. You
    DON'T need a cop or a rulebook to stop you. God's indwelling
    Spirit would make you feel revulsion at the very thought.
    How does a TRUE Christian know when he's doing wrong? He gets
    a feeling of discomfort. His conscience bothers him. "Whatever is
    not of faith is sin."
    But why doesn't God give EVERYBODY this wonderful Spirit NOW
    so the world can be a bright and cheerful place?
    I don't know. I really don't.

    1. "" They no longer need any mediators
      in the form of human beings and rule books. They do NOT need
      the visible Church. The "LAW" is now imprinted on the "Fleshly tables of the heart.""

      Well said, agreed. It was because of Martins strict Catholic upbringing that he fell into the scruples ocd mindset. But he clearly freed himself of it. In the movie you can clearly see his transformation as he broke free from the religiousity strict- dogma of rules.

    2. Revulsion at the very thought of sexual sin and violence, hm? If only it were that simple, Monica. All that shit doesn't just "go away" for some of us- even when a person genuinely desires to do God's will.

  14. What does that have to do with being gay? Or the topic at hand? :)

    1. Sounds like a confession. Maybe someone else has OCD with guilt and religious obsession. I have noticed on this blog that when someone is being really open and honest, some really strange seepage takes place. You should take it as a compliment.

    2. Agreed. And well said.

    3. @under the tree. Yup, we can tend to go off topic on threads. I think it can be a good thing - since we can bounce off perspectives, experiences and diverse outlooks. We can learn so much this way.
      I can clearly see how you write.....I sense you are open - minded as well. :-)

  15. I'm curious if the Reader is ADD. Most lean towards guilt and have low self esteem.

  16. OP needs to rethink that. I googled sociopath due to a relationship and found the book. I finished it 2 weeks ago. It was very insightful but I would NEVER trust a sociopath. Ever.

    background: I was raised Mormon also & even served a mission. So I know the religion of which is portrayed in the book. I am inactive and mid-30's after a divorce found myself knowing I was submissive & did seek out those type of relationships (D/s). I identify with M.E. saying she wants to be "adored" and the power involved. However, you cannot abuse that & it will when you are a sociopath.

    I was able to turn the tables on him when he wanted me back into his life. What I am learning is when a sociopath suddenly determines they don't want you in their life and easily walks away & when they can have you as M.E. said in their book if they can get you they lose respect. That's self loathing in my book. So much more I could say but you learn not to trust anything they do. I'm not so understanding.

  17. I'm gay.. I'm not ashamed or proud of it... I think a lot of us are very judgemental and self-serving... I think probably moreso than straight people.

  18. No I'm gonna have to say we're all judgemental and self-serving.

  19. Super chick :). You seem cool too :). May I ask your age?

  20. Not ADD at all :). My mind gets scattered and brain races but no lack of concentration :)

  21. Replies
    1. fun & young. ;) you'll find as you age the ocd guilt lessons and life feels more enriching and balanced. Guilt is good at the appropriate time. Excessive guilt can make one sick. Screw the excessive guilt. I had to battle my ocd with doing the opposite reaction to what I was feeling. . Day by day your getting to know your cycle & what works for you. Good luck !

    2. And opposite reaction builds mastery. :)

  22. Thank you :). My OCD is minimal now :). I have done a lot of hard work. You sound like a wonderful person. I like your energy. Do you want to email?

  23. Thank you :). My OCD is minimal now :). I have done a lot of hard work. You sound like a wonderful person. I like your energy. Do you want to email?

  24. Guilt is unnecessary, and being gay is such a trivial thing. trying to understand of why making a post or topic about it?


  25. Dr.Brave help me to save my marriage today

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  26. My name is yurich jerry am from USA. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man DR.Ogboni brought my husband back to me, i had three lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that's why i want to say a big thank you to DR.Ogboni spiritual temple. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:

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  28. đồng tâm
    game mu
    cho thuê nhà trọ
    cho thuê phòng trọ
    nhac san cuc manh
    số điện thoại tư vấn pháp luật miễn phí
    văn phòng luật
    tổng đài tư vấn pháp luật
    dịch vụ thành lập công ty trọn gói

    nếu là không thể bù lại trở về... Tiền đồ của mọi người có thể lo.

    Phòng dột trời lại đồ mưa, Cảnh Mộng Hồn vừa mới đem mệnh lệnh truyền đạt xuống dưới, qua không lâu, đã có người tiến đến báo cáo, hơn nữa lại là một cái tin tức xấu siêu cấp.

    Người nhà Đỗ Thế Tình tất cả đều không thấy rồi!

    Phu nhân, con, con dâu của Đỗ Thế Tình, tất cả biến mất không thấy bóng dáng!

    Cảnh Mộng Hồn phát điên rồi!

    Đỗ Thế Tình sau khi mất tích ở Thiết Vàn, người nhà hắn liền thành đối tượng theo dõi trọng điểm của Đệ Ngũ Khinh Nhu.ởtrong dự đoán của Đệ Ngũ Khinh Nhu, Sở Diêm Vương tất nhiên còn có thể có chuẩn bị ở sau. Mà hắn sẽ chờ Sở Diêm Vương tới đón người, đến lúc đó mới có thể nhất cử phát động!

    Huống chi con trai con dâu Đỗ Thế Tình đều là người của Kim Mã Kỵ Sĩ Đường; Đối với Kim Mã Kỵ Sĩ Đường cùng Đệ Ngũ Khinh Nhu trung thành và tận tâm, càng thêm không lo lắng!

    Chỉ cần bên kia dám đến, bên này chính là một đòn trí mạng! Nhưng trong khoảng thời gian này, thành Trung Châu gần như chính là thiên hạ đại loạn, ngay cả Đệ Ngũ Khinh Nhu cũng không quan tâm được chút việc nhỏ này. Mà Cảnh Mộng Hồn lại đối với bên kia rất yên tâm, cũng buông lỏng một đoạn thời gian, lại không nghĩ rằng liền mấy ngày thời gian như vậy, vậy mà liền khó hiếu mà biến mất như vậy?

    “Biến mất lúc nào?” Cảnh Mộng Hồn vỗ cái bàn, giận tím mặt, gần như muốn bóp chết tươi người đến báo cáo, chửi ầm lên nói: “Lão tử ĐCM mẹ ruột các ngươi! Đám người theo dõi các ngươi con mẹ nó ăn *** sao?!”


  29. HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK I am Barr. ALEX SMITH ,I live here in (TEXAS USA). Good day everyone on this site i have a testimony to share to you all about my wife left home for two years to KENYAN Africa for a tourist, where he meant this guy and she was bewitch by the guy my wife refuse to come back home again, i cry all days and night looking for who to help me, i read a comment on the internet about a powerful spell caster called Dr.Obadam From west African and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my wife back to me and he ask me not to worry about anything that the oracle we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to bring back my wife back to me. and he did, in less than 3 days my wife came back to me and started crying that i should forgive her, am so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my wife is back home. here his email address if you need his help {} contact him immediately your problem we be solved.


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