Saturday, June 14, 2014

Letter to a sociopath

From a reader (written but never sent to her sociopathic acquaintance):

I know you from your eyes? Every time we stare at each other for longer than usual, and you ask me 'What are you thinking?' I reply 'Nothing.' And you never believe me. But really I'm telling the truth. Seriously- I'm not thinking, I'm feeling. I'm feeling your cold stare. Feeling your calculation. Feeling that question coming up. 

What I see are two curious eyes, trying to read me. I suppose the look on my face is not something you can decipher. It's something new, something you've never seen before. All this, I know because I feel you.

And I love you, no matter how much YOU love ME. I'll probably never know for sure, even though you say it sometimes. All that I can know for sure is what my emotions are telling me. And they're not just some random butterflies in my stomach. It's something much bigger than that. I'm pretty sure it's dedication. Dedication towards a very special person, with lots and lots of potential. And I want to help cultivate that potential. 

At the same time, I want to keep on learning from you. Every day my eyes open more and more. You have no idea. The fog that is caused by my emotions, be they positive or negative, keeps disappearing in front of my eyes. I can see now, the outside world. When I touch a table, I know it is there. I've started keeping track of people and their habits, however small, because apparently that helps a lot. I'm learning to pay attention to any thoughts of suspicion I have, I used to ignore them altogether. I'm learning to see the world exactly as it is. 

And this is coming pretty naturally to me, because that's who I am. An actress. A mirror. I can easily BECOME you. I won't hurt or disappoint you because then I'd hurt and disappoint myself. Your pain is my pain. 

When I'm performing on stage for example, I don't merely recite my lines and make gestures and face expressions to go along with them. I become that person. The character in the play borrows my body, and the lines just pour out of my mouth, like they're coming out of nowhere. 

All this will maybe help you understand what I "think" when I look into your eyes.

And- with all the patience I can gather, I want to try to answer any other question you might have. Why? So you can understand ME easier, and other people as well. It would become easier for you to make me happy-- Both of us would end up happier! Symbiosis: a natural process. 

As for time, I will not pay attention to it, because a process of symbiosis could last a few seconds, a few hours, a few weeks, a few years, a few centuries, or until death does apart the participants in that process. I'd prefer the latter of course, but then again, whatever has to happen, will happen. So I don't want to pay attention to time. Staring into your eyes feels like eternity anyways. 


  1. I wonder what was so hypnotizing about his eyes. Did it have a sparkle? When I used to take acid all the time people would recognize it and they said it was because I had this sparkle in my eye. Charles Manson has that sparkle. So does Betty White.

  2. Helpful sociopath here. I find these posts - the ones about emotions and connection, clearly written by really femmy femmew to be really boring.

    It is a bit like making a guy read a romance novel. interesting in terms of understanding the female mind,but difficult to sit through.

    1. I think it's soooo shweeeet!

      "You're a crazy con and you're a crazy liar
      But baby, nobody can compare to the way you get down, down, down

      I tried so hard to act nice like a lady
      You taught me that it was good to be crazy

      Every now and then, the stars align
      Boy and girl meet by the great design
      Could it be that you and me are the lucky ones?

      Everybody told me love was blind
      Then I saw your face and you blew my mind
      Finally, you and me are the lucky ones this time"

    2. Better not writing letters when fallen in love, it becomes cheesy.It is not typical for females but for people in love generally. In addition this post is selfimportant and selfcontent.

    3. Helpful sociopath, have you considered the fact that you find those posts boring because you cannot relate to them on the same level other people do? You only understand on an intellectual level.
      A bit like the kid at the back of the math class who is bored to death because he never got it, and he looks at his classmates in dismay and contempt and thinks "what a waste of time".
      There is probably lots in life that you find boring, from songs to movies to conversations with friends and acquaintances. May I ask, what interests you, what makes you feel alive?

    4. Dear Helpful Sociopath,
      Do you not think that men can be as emotional in dealing with a female socio as the letter writer has been? Isn't that why a socio is so good at manipulation...because the idea of being looked at with such unrelenting predation can be mistaken for interest and even passion? Also, sometimes when a woman speaks of or writes of love, she does not mean love the emotion, but love the surrender. The powerless woman who must yet again surrender to that which she does not understand and cannot repel but must endure. It is a form of disassociation. This letter is "unsent" after all.


    5. "Helpful sociopath, have you considered the fact that you find those posts boring because you cannot relate to them on the same level other people do? You only understand on an intellectual level."

      Yes, it occurred to me. I don't know how much to attribute to me being a sociopath or me being a male. In any case, I'm just giving ME feedback; there have to be other readers like myself bored by these posts.

      "Do you not think that men can be as emotional in dealing with a female socio as the letter writer has been? Isn't that why a socio is so good at manipulation...because the idea of being looked at with such unrelenting predation can be mistaken for interest and even passion?"

      Sociopaths tell people the lies that they use to construct their identities.

      E.g. I think you are really insightful and special. People don't give you the respect you deserve. You have special gifts. Blah blah blah.

      Excellent manipulation relies understanding the emotional state of the victim, what buttons to push, etc. Even if you can do that, it doesn't mean you aren't bored by femme-y gushings.

    6. Female Socios do ExistOctober 30, 2014 at 11:48 AM

      As a female sociopath, I have to say I can't even understand this on an intellectual level. If love and acceptance are what empaths crave, and you know the person you're with doesn't love you back (or at least not in the same way), then what on Earth is the point of staying in the relationship? Especially if it's an abusive one? I do not understand masochism - even though those tendencies in others are incredibly useful to me. If the height of romance is constantly getting hurt by the person you're "in love with", then it's just another reason I'm glad I don't feel emotions the same way as empaths.

  3. wait, which person is the sociopath? both? ;)

  4. one can NOT tell if a person is psychopathic by looking at their eyes. But the infamous "psycho-stare" (psychopaths stare at the world as if everyone in it are "marks")? Yes, true, but my point is that everyone of the zodiac Scorpio Trinity (virgo/libra/scorpio) have been equipped with eerie " beady eyes" that seem to penetrate others inner mental sphere/soul. One cannot spot a psychopath by looking at his gaze, this sometimes is a "feature" certain types of people have.

  5. Sociopath vs. Psychopath. One of the most important
    distinctions to be made, and one that could cause a virtual
    revolution in the treatment possibilities for both.
    How tragic that the two have been confused for MANY years. And
    how much more damage need be done until people get the
    To put it in the most simplistic terms: Psychopaths are born.
    Sociopaths are made. It's the difference between someone BORN
    blind, and someone who BECOMES blind later on. The person who
    had some experience of seeing, is obviously at a greater advantage then a person who NEVER saw. The heartache of losing
    something you've had is real. Any grief about "losing" something
    you've never had to begin with can't be real.
    Take the following example:
    In October of last year a 14 year old boy named Philp Chism
    followed his 9th grade math teacher into a bathroom. He punched
    her, raped her, and murdered her with a boxcutter he brought
    from home. He transported the body to a wooded area in back of
    the school and abused the corpse. He left a note by the body
    saying, "I hate you all!" He was picked up later that evening with
    his teacher's underware and cell phone. The bloody boxcutter was
    found on him. Much of the crime was caught on the school cameras, and Philip filmed his crime on his cell phone. The crime
    entailed some planning, as Philp brought a change of clothes with
    him that day to school. It was revealed after comitting the crime.
    Philip went to the movies and ate out.
    Philp was held in a juvenial facility (He's 15 now.) because laws
    won't allow him to be kept with adults. The other day, Philip
    followed a female guard into the locker room. (It was caught on
    tape again) He was holding a pencil. True to his M.O. (Attacking
    females with their guard down.) He begin to hit and strangle the
    guard. Fortunately, (For her) her screams alerted other guards
    who pulled Philp off in the nick of time. Researching Philip's history,
    it appears he suffered from Conduct Disorder, In fact, because
    Philip is under 18, what he did could only be called conduct
    disorder. Philip has NOT been brain scand to the best of my
    knowledge, but there's little doubt that a person who gets such an
    early start to such vicious criminality MUST be a BORN psychopath.
    Contrast Philp with the most hated person in America, Casey
    Anthony. Casey NEVER showed any signs of conduct disorder. She
    never wet the bed, abused animals, or set fires. She was A okay
    until 18. She was compelled to give birth to a child she didn't want.
    She scores as the PERFECT sociopath on the Hare sociopath test.
    Lies, laziness, criminality, promiscuity etc. Philip would also score
    high, The difference? Philip was that way from childhood. Casey
    BECAME that way most likely from abuse.
    Could Philip be helped? NOT! He was BORN that way. Can Casey be
    helped? Possibly, if she tires of her criminal ways and follows the
    advice of Dr. Stanton E. Samenow, PhD aurthor of "Inside The
    Criminal Mind."

    1. I've never tried to use the terms interchangeably...Many do though. There's a distinctive difference in the two. I believe a sociopath is capable of love and is made that way like you mentioned (not born). It's maybe not a neurotypical kind of love..... but its definitely a type of love like no other. It's a huge spectrum with multiple facets.

  6. Well that was a strange experience. Reading this letter was like trying to understand a piece of poetry. I can't decide whether the letter in question is a genuinely interesting insight into somebody's 'inner world' or if it's just a piece of pretentious, pseudo-artistic fluff. The fact it was never sent only serves to complicate the matter. And I know that it's a personal letter and wasn't written for audience consumption, a fact which makes it (seem?) more genuine, but that doesn't make it any easier to decipher.

    1. well said. hard to say. i hope to think people aren't so dumb, so I'm going to assume its pretentious, pseudo-artistic fluff.

  7. If I will ever fall in love with a Psychopath again, I can run my head against a wall. It has the same effect. They have that cold stare, because they are empty inside. That's all.

    1. Don't worry, once informed about this personality disorder, unser normal circumstances it won't happen again.
      I would say emotionless stare, I would look like this when I'm alone in the bathroom looking at my teethbrush.

    2. I would say the stare represents the socio-way of connection with people in a moment lacking hate or joy: emotionless object-like

    3. or better: emotionless, object-like dedication

    4. In all 'honesty'it has the opposite effect on me. I get so horney from the stare. I'm definitely wet down there... when boy meets girl and eyes interlock deeply like that. Don't know why, call it deep hypnosis.
      just a normal physical reaction I guess. ;)

    5. I'm a sociopath. A friend who knows me said that I looked at people the way an entomologist would study bugs. These days I try to generate positive emotions when I look at people, to avoid appearing cold-hearted. I don't want to bother people.

  8. Question: Eminem. Does anyone think he's sociopathic or borderline or possibly both. Thoughts? (Maybe none of the above).That beautiful stare of his is exactly how my childhood friend looks and acts. He will stare at the soul of your eyes intensively like he wants to fuck the shit out of you. Whenever I see him ITS what he does to me.
    Eminem's ex wife I believe is possibly a borderline, but who knows for sure --specially with her previous self harm and history. I often wonder what type of "love" Eminem and Kim had -- and possibly will always have. (Eros, ludas, storage, pragma, mania, or agape.) Or maybe it circulated into all types of love throughout their relationship together.

    1. Good question, Superchick. I know that look. It's just like an old boss of mine who settled for dunking me so many times in the water at a summer pool party that I nearly drowned. I call it the Great White Shark stare for that very reason. I did not want to be loved by my boss. I can only imagine what kind of special torment must be in store for Kim. Love Eminem the performer, though.


    2. Borderline...I've been saying that forever.

    3. He's too fucking emo to be a sociopath

    4. Lol Dr G....true. he's got that sexy dark side. ;)

      Penny wise, wow, that's when it starts getting scary..."the love and hate relationship." I'm glad to see you made it out ok. Are you still in contact?

    5. Superchick, this was about fifteen years ago. He left the company for other reasons. I was lucky that someone else saw what was happening that night and pulled me out. He tended to stay away from me after that, and last I know he and his family (he was married) were living in a different country. I'm really OK with that.


    6. funny about the dunking. I observed an older kid (12 years maybe) deliberately dunk my 7 year old son after looking left and right to see if anyone was looking. By the time he let my son up for air I was by his side because I knew something was very wrong. My empath side to a backseat to mama bear and I told the kid "I will watch you for the rest of your life because I know exactly what you just did". And then I gave him my own version of a psychopathic stare as I removed my son. It wasn't tip I got to the car that the tears came. It was terrifying. I know exactly the menace you described.

    7. Some tyrant kids can be assholes without the proper supervision. I would have freaked myself.

  9. The emotionless stare is simply the laser focus of an individual considering how the object within its gaze can be most useful. It's the laser focus that is so penetrating and unnerving- not the associated emotions.

    1. Oh, stop it

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. nailed it, didn't I?

      As much as I have deep affection for sociopaths who have learned to control their acting out of infantile rage so they may behave in a logical fashion, I do chuckle at the need to romanticize the predatory stare.

      It's quite flattering to image that you are the single object of sociopath's desire. Until…. you realize that quite often the sociopath is less interested in taking you to dinner than having you for dinner.

      There's not necessarily any malice involved. It is simply extreme observation that is meant to learn the object for a future purpose. No more, no less.

    4. "I do chuckle at the need to romanticize the predatory stare." haha that's kinda funny. I've encountered people with ASPD numerous times, but I don't remember most of them giving me the predatory stare, but I do remember the first time I experienced it. I've organized several psychology groups now, and the last one I had a guy showed up, introduced himself, and then said he had ADD. I think that would strike anyone as odd, but especially a psychologist :) We talked for about 45 minutes, and then the conversation started to get strange. I can't even really articulate what happened, but we were sort of debating I guess, but nothing about it was normal, and then I just stopped because I remember feeling like I was a mouse being batted around by a cat. I was the prey and he was the predator. I remember looking across the table, and him staring at me with a blank stare, almost like he was trying to figure out why I was reacting the way that I was. I realized then what I was dealing with. He continued for several days after that playing psych games with me, and even tried to lure me in to the desert. The whole thing was pretty bizarre.

    5. ""It's quite flattering to image that you are the single object of sociopath's desire. Until…. you realize that quite often the sociopath is less interested in taking you to dinner than having you for dinner.""

      You hit the nail on the head Mach. Well said.

    6. I have been told that I have a piercing glare- and it is true that the colour of my eyes is particularly intense. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, that "predatory" stare is a dead give that I am lusting after the person to whom it is directed. My partner jokes that I look like I want to eat him for lunch when I stare at him that way- and when I'm walking around in that kind of haze, I usually do. :)

      Perhaps that stare looks intense and "empty" because it is singularly focused on the emotionally vacuous, lust-driven objective of breaking down and seducing my target. The few people who really know me understand what it means. Those who don't, invariably ask me what's "wrong", or whether I am angry about something.

      Once, when I was out clubbing with my cousin, I had too much to drink, and started flirting with this giggly, drunk little girl in the ladies' room. She was convinced we had gone to high school together, and even though I was her senior by a decade (I look young for my age), I played along. Within two minutes, my fingers were tangled in her hair... gently stroking her cheeks and lips as I whispered lies concerning how beautiful I had always found her. Her breathing grew heavy as I placed my hands on her shoulders and guided her towards the dance floor- and I knew I had her.

      My cousin intercepted us. We grew up together, so she knows me. To my great irritation, she took one glance at how I was staring after this girl, and immediately inserted herself between us, forcibly distracting me with loud antics, even going so far as to insist that I "stop that" while placating me with shots of tequila. I think I actually hit her prior to thanking her after we had sobered up, later. :p

    7. "The emotionless stare is simply the laser focus of an individual considering how the object within its gaze can be most useful."

      Nailed it for sure! It never fails to piss off my ex that I leave my sunglasses on when I run into him. You can see him trying to laser his way through them and his frustration that my eyes are not laid bare for him.


    8. If you have to wear sunglasses to "hide" your thoughts and attempt to mask your emotional state from him, he's already won.

    9. A- not necessarily. She recognizes her own vulnerability and uses the sunglasses as a shield. If it works for her then I'd say that is a victory- albeit one of a series of victories she is currently/soon will experience to break the trauma bond that he is trying to reactivate by looking into her eyes.

    10. I understand, and I suppose that is a valid point. It is better that she conceal her eyes than expose her pain and vulnerability to him, if she is unable to keep her emotions in check. What I meant is that she is exposing her weakness by having to shield her vulnerability in the first place. It demonstrates that he still holds power over her.

      I would challenge him. Stare directly into his eyes, and refuse to back down, show an ounce of weakness, or a shred of failing resolve. Bring it on, mofo. :p

    11. Her breathing grew heavy as I placed my hands on her shoulders and guided her.....

      Well "A" that was quite the story. I was hoping to hear the part where you took her in the bathroom stall, bent her over, and literally fucked her hardcore like a bad boy! But instead you danced. Nice. ;)

    12. ""I would challenge him. Stare directly into his eyes, and refuse to back down, show an ounce of weakness, or a shred of failing resolve. Bring it on, mofo. :p""

      Wise advise. Meet your match. :)

    13. "It is better that she conceal her eyes than expose her pain and vulnerability to him, if she is unable to keep her emotions in check."

      It is not a question of hiding, it's more a refusal to admit him to the inner sanctum. I don't like barriers when I'm talking to people. If I'm buying bananas at a farmers' market, I might leave my sunglasses on but if I'm having a conversation with a friend I'll remove them. By leaving them on when talking to the ex, I'm denying him that connection.

      "I would challenge him. Stare directly into his eyes, and refuse to back down, show an ounce of weakness, or a shred of failing resolve."

      That would be too easy and he would enjoy it. Game on! Oh no, much more fun to deny him. He likes to be the all-seeing, all-knowing one. Nothing frustrates him more than to leave him guessing :)

      @ Mach

      "break the trauma bond that he is trying to reactivate by looking into her eyes."

      Have you sat down and talked to your socio ex since you parted? I haven't. Since I left, I've had the briefest of exchanges with him. He had obviously rehearsed his opening gambit for maximum impact and it worked (i.e generated emotion) but luckily I was en route to meet someone else and had to decline his invitation for coffee. I'm curious to know if the trauma bond has been broken but wonder if it would be playing with fire to try and find out. I can't decide whether not knowing is cowardly or sensible.


    14. He has "accidentally/on purpose" put himself in my path twice. Both times we saw each other and I walked away because I wasn't interested in figuring out what sort of bond remained. I wasn't afraid so much as just didn't want to go there. Also, because I ended it he refused to answer emails, return stuff, did the classic man tantrum thing - he shut me out when I no longer allowed him access to my heart (some men really can't do the cordial ex thing). I actually don't think I was with a sociopath, though. That relationship was with a cerebral narcissist who did some nasty and antisocial things but was very interested in keeping a respectable image.

    15. Mach, I'm curious.... how do you co-parent effectively with this fellow with minimal contact like this? You have children together if I'm not mistaken.

    16. no- this isn't my ex husband. It was a man I nearly married a few years back. I actually had a habit of attracting some fairly complicated men and have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why that is. The obvious red flag type of guys aren't the problem- it's the high functioning "snakes in suits" types. One of the reasons I've been on here is to try to understand these personalities a bit better. For a long time I wanted to save them. (that never ended well) I let myself get taken advantage of a few times before I smartened up. Now I am better at spotting them. That said I am much more careful who I welcome into my life and am fiercely protective of my kids. Their dad is not the problem- we broke up because we met under religious circumstances and we were both very young- it was not a bad end. He has his faults (that I attribute more to the culture we both came from than something within him) and I certainly know that I can be a pain in the ass too :) He's a good friend today.

    17. Mach, you're a women of incredible courage. It's always good to be reflective and to ask yourself why am I being targeted. I'm sure many women ask the same questions... Maybe, simply, they see something so beautiful in your character-that they are naturally drawn to your spirit. Empathic individuals are just natural targets. It's good you have come to this site. You really get to dig deep and taste the mindset of the sociopath firsthand. It prepares you. It's quite fascinating. I've learnt a lot from this site. There are many wonderful individuals who struggle with the anti-social traits. Such a rippling effect for them and the people who care for them.

      Your children are blessed to have momma like you. :)

    18. I think we all have a dark side. The scariest people are those that don't admit they do.

      And back at you with the kind words- I suspect we have quite a bit in
      common in terms of how we process things :) We're almost the same age but I am 39…

      A book I just finished and found fascinating was "The H factor in personality" It was truly illuminating for me and I bet you'd enjoy it as well.

    19. Thanks Mach, I love to read before bed. Will most definitely check out that book. Ya when I read your comments my head nods yes, yes. We have many similarities....right down to the religion. :)

  10. "Dead Eyes" are a scorp special (zodiac scorpio), this feature is often used by the specimen in question when salesmen approaches and starts their unbearable sale routine, the scorp then just "relaxes" more than usual and look into the salesmans soul through his eyes; its effect is hypnotizing, almost as if sucked into a void where a supreme power rules, a power which should not be bothered with sales-talk.about screwdrivers & pants. They do it all the time, and few give warnings. Crappy sale talk=dead eyes. That´s how they play.

  11. I love that line, "The fog that is caused by my emotions,.." I guess that must be how empaths view the world, misted over. We socio's, for better or for worse, see brilliantly clearly in all its patterns, games and harshness. Such joy!

    1. "You Socio's" are just disconnected with your emotions. Games and harshness are joy? It seems you "Socios" are in need to judge all the time, to label, to compete. What a lonely poor world.

      "We" empaths are able to feel for others and love them like they are with all their flaws. We are capable to support others.

    2. and no "Empaths" aren't better or worse. We are all human beings.

    3. Games are fun, competition is motivational, and the "harshness" you refer to is just part of who we are.

      You're awfully "judgemental" for someone who likes to criticize others on that account. :p

    4. You don't know me

    5. Ah- but your words reveal your perspective, anonymous. A is simply calling you on your self righteousness. You may not see it this way, but A is doing you a favor.

    6. Machiavellianempath

      I am still angry about my Ex-Psychopath "boyfriend". Believe me, I never met someone like him. Maybe I just need to vent on this site :-) But to read, that this people play with others emotions and than call it "just a game" "for fun" etc.... it upsets me.... In my case he exploited me, he lied, he betrayed...what else? argh.. I hope I will forget him soon.

      of course I know...people are people...I don't have the right to say how they should behave....


      thank you for your opinion

    7. @ anonymous- just because psychopathic types consider the destruction of others to be "fun" doesn't mean that that behavior is anything other than a perversion of what it means to be human.

      Keep your empathy but learn how predators think. That way you are less of any easy mark. This forum has been very helpful to me (a fellow empath) where I've been called out on my self-righteousness too, so please don't think there's any slight intended.

      Being called out on that self righteousness (by Monica, about this time last year) was extremely helpful to me in releasing my indignation that I had not been treated the way I "should" have been treated. That indignation was a great source of pain to me because I was tormented by my own need to right the wrong done to me. It kept me trapped.

      Know this: what was done to you was wrong if false pretenses were involved in securing your trust so that this individual could exploit you. The "gift" on the other side of this horrible experience is that you now have a much better sense of your own blind spots that made you open to manipulation. There is no "righting" of already committed wrongs- only wisdom that comes from the ashes of what was.

      Wishing you Courage and Peace as you sort through the rubble. Please know that better days are ahead.

      -one who has been there

    8. @Machiavellianempath
      Survivor of a Predator :-)

      Thank you for your insight and your kind words, wish you all the best

      Yes indeed, it was a life changing experience. And it was difficult to get rid of him. I hope, he will never contact me.

    9. he probably will, but it sounds like the spell has been broken which means you would not be easily recaptured. At a certain point, you become too much work and they move on. Just be boring and fight any temptation to re-engage on an emotional level. That includes hate/need for revenge. Remember that old saying that the opposite of love is not hate- it is apathy. You can not transcend a trauma bond with love or hate- only a rational understanding of what happened and why the bond was an illusion and therefore not something to be missed. You didn't lose love- you lost innocence. Big difference.

    10. Yes, you are right. He said I am too much work. And I think, I got rid of him, because I cut off my emotions when we were in contact. I just "observed" him, because he acted so strange, so odd. I stopped reacting. I don't know why. I was so numb and confused maybe. He wasn't able to milk me anymore.

      He attacked me in every way to destroy my self-esteem and I assume, he wanted to use me as an outlet for his Sadism. It cost me a lot of energy, understand and informing to recover.

      Coming from a former psychopathic country (Germany) so I knew already about "evil" people but I never met one in a "relationship"

      I read now a lot of Erich Fromm, Carl Jung and I like Arno Gruen very much. My Ex-Psychopath is Origin from South-India, so he isn't German. Psychopathy seems to be in every country.

    11. funny that you mention Germany, though. Both me and my potentially sociopathic ex have German backgrounds. I think it has a lot to do with the suppression of emotions, and comfort with hierarchical control.

    12. @Anon When you observe Germany bullying the rest of Europe and imposing severe austerity measures, you have to wonder just how much their national psyche has changed, if at all.

    13. @Mach
      oh how interesting. Do you think, you are influenced by your "German background"? And how? How was he? Fortunately when I am in the city, there are nowadays a lot of ethnic groups and I hope we will mix.

      @Anon is still hard to cope with that bad history. I mean how are people able to do such crime? That's why the Germans don't want to be involved with fighting in a war for example. At school we learned also very much about WWII and visitited a concentration camp. That was so shocking. I still can't believe that horror, what "we" did to others. I am so sorry. It is beyond words.

      Don't forget Germany was devided in East and West for a long time. So I think it takes at least four generations to change, maybe. I am not sure.

      What I have learned is, never objectify others or think you are better than them. This "they have no right to live among us, they aren't human, we have the right to do whatever we want to do with them, we are better" I will never accept. That is why it is (for me) so important to "heal" to "accept your own shadow", be aware what are you doing to others. It is hard work.

    14. My husband's grandmother was full blown German. A kind hearted women. My husband has very fond memories of her. Worked at a concentration camp and that's where my mother in law was born. For years she used to say, " Hitler good man, good man, he liberated us Germans and gave us a good life." Then it hit her one day when she went go visit Germany at the concentration camp site before she died. "He was not a good man." She realized what he had done with the jews... with tears streaming down her face. She was in-denial for decades. Funny how the human mind can dismiss the suffering of other cultural ethic groups... but see the suffering of their own ethical group at the same time.

    15. haha full blown German. I like that ;-) although I don't know what does it mean.

      My mother was 6 when WWII ended and if you ask her, she would simply say "well, it was like that". Children suffered so much but weren't alloud to express their feelings. By suppressing them, they gave it to the next generation (me) and we were more able to get out of that confusion. At least I hope so.

      Hitler was a sick man, but he was able to sorround people like Goebbels, he was resonsible for the propaganda. This whole Nazi-system is just evil and sick.

      Still many Germans think, it wasn't that bad, but you are right, they simply dismiss the suffering of "other" cultural ethic groups.

      It is still part of human behaviour to think, that there exist people like "sub humans". For me, that is "nazi-thinking"


    16. Yes that's exactly how my mother in law is. Supress your feelings; it's week to show them. After the war her father (he was polish) went crazy (which was probably ptsd unrecognized & untreated) & physically abused his wife. He also became a raging alcoholic. He was totally fine before the war. She was fiesty one and would fight him back my mother in laws says.

      He was tied up and held captive while both his sister and mother were being raped when the war was going on. After that he killed with vengeance. He was never the same.

  12. Do not kid yourself. We do not care. We tolerate, not love, and as soon as your novelty wears off we will be looking for the next new thing.

    1. Ok thanks for letting me know. But the game play is quite fun in the meantime. Your it.
      Lol ;)

  13. Some of the letters reposted, I would really like to talk to them. There was one written by a mental health professional who is a sociopath. Her family was killed, and it was interesting to hear her describe never experiencing any kind of PTSD symptoms. It sounds like it really had almost no emotional effect on her. She now works as a crisis counselor, and encounters similar situations. I would be curious to ask her what it does for her psychologically? Many mental health professionals work with populations that they feel they can identify with because it is something they themselves suffer with whether it be anxiety, depression, phobias, borderline personality disorder, etc. because they feel empathy and compassion for these individuals, but I'm curious what working as a crisis counselor does for her?

    1. Hmm interesting. It could possibly be that in entering this type of mental health profession , she's resolving her own issues that's affected her own
      " antisocial persona within . ' Maybe she's not affected showing emotion outwardly, but she has to logically help people cope with their own emotions outwardly. It must give her some type of fulfilment. Why do it otherwise. But definitely interesting. .

      Kinda like my SO with my borderline....he has the ability to stabilize my emotions quickly. It's all logically fuelled validation. The more I practice on my own, the more mastery I attain and stay into wise mind longer. .

  14. Does anyone here think that Stephen King may be a prosocial sociopath? I came across several sites today where they were speculating if he is one...thoughts?

    1. That exact thought has crossed my mind. He's one of my favourite authors. I very much relate to how he thinks.

    2. There's no doubt in my mind that he has come into contact with a very real experience of evil. But instead of participating in it, he examines, describes (sometimes in an uncomfortably titillating fashion) and He knows his subject matter intimately. That said, his life does not appear to indicate that he is a person who leaves a trail of destruction behind him. If he is a prosocial sociopath he does an incredible job of channeling his antisocial impulses into his writing. My hunch is that King is a trauma survivor who writes his way to the other side of whatever evil still haunts in in some form or another.

    3. That's interesting, and maybe true. I'll have to think about it. Thanks for your input! :)

    4. King was traumatized when his childhood friend was killed by a train. He witnessed it ~

      And, yes, many have said he has an insight into evil.

  15. Unfortunately this letter is either written by someone who has some form of personality disorder herself of has no idea what she is dealing with! I have been ripped apart by a sociopath myself this past year and seem to have finally rid him from my life, although I'm sure this isn't the last I will hear of him.
    If she believes that she is like nothing he has ever experienced that just isn't true and she is kidding herself, maybe a slightly different person for him to get to grips with but nothing more. If anyone has ever fallen for a sociopath then they will know that the stare can break your heart into a millions pieces.
    Learning more about different types of personalities and having no choice but to have an increased awareness regarding my own self, I have realised I have many traits like that of an empath and unfortunately this man caught me at a very vulnerable time and almost destroyed me. I have been reading posts on this site for months now and for some reason this letter is the only one that has ever made me want to post a comment. It's either fake or I feel extremely sorry for this women. She is about to get kicked from the top of that mountain she has bent over backwards to climb whilst he gleefully watches her fall

    1. I actually thought the same thing myself first reading this.This women might have a personality disorder like borderline. They seem to attract oneanother quite nicely. Both the diagnosed sociopath and borderline arn't concrete in a "sense of self-identity". We lack "the self" and adapt to the environment where in. It's easy to be chameleon like... and loose ourselves and draw and take from one another. Some call this the mask we put on. I just think our persona shifts more rapidly than others.
      I think it's because the fluid identity both personality disorders possess.... which I believe can be a very positive attribute if used correctly and not abused. It's easy to draw and take from someone. But its not sustainable in the long run. You must develop your own self identify on your own....your own accord without anybody building it up for you. Co-dependancy leads to a destructive lifestyle within..
      Interdependence is much healthier and attainable if you both understand understand what your up against.

      My hope is that she realizes her incredible self worth with or without him. She needs to respect herself by cutting off the strong ties she compels and draws towards this fellow. She will survive without him. He will respect her better for it. But most importantly, she will respect herself. She will be concrete. It's what's sustainable in the bigger picture.
      but love is blind for a season....she'll get there. If she's borderline. ..they have an incredible resilience to get back on the straight and narrow as she builds her own self identify and her own life.
      Now I must go feed my piggies and chickens. They are dependent critters. Lol ;)

      She gave it away when I read
      ""And this is coming pretty naturally to me, because that's who I am. An actress. A mirror. I can easily BECOME you. I won't hurt or disappoint you because then I'd hurt and disappoint myself. Your pain is my pain.""

      Or I could be wrong....

    2. aww I wuvs piggies...hey wait ur not gonna eat them are you :P

    3. There so fat and grunt at you too. Feed me....feed me. Ya the kids even named them all. Yup to eat. My SO hunts moose and dear so we're having the pork this year for a different taste. Kinda weird. You raise it. To eat it. :(
      Dam ravens took 6 chickens last night. Grrrr

    4. I love piggies, but they're strange creatures. Sometimes they will eat their own babies, and they definitely aren't so nice when they hunt, like when they eat snakes, and skin them alive. Same with rats. They can be adorable little creatures, but then they will turn around and eat rat babies, and sometimes each other. It might be offensive to people, but nature designed them to be that way so even though it can be strange witnessing some of the behaviors (and some would even say outright horrific), I think that's humanity trying to impose some of their ideas about what's right and wrong.

    5. As I always say, I didn't make the rules. I certainly wouldn't have designed things this way.

    6. ;) ya the animal life cycle is peculiar breed.

  16. Goodness. Are people still romanticizing the idea of sociopathic mystery and love? Isn't that trend old hat by now?

    1. Truth said. They do not "love" they tolerate, and it is not an insult, it is just how/who they are. They are neither good nor bad; perhaps the best way to see them is objectively and with indifference.
      I suppose it is hard to see them as such because their behavior is not always "bad", they just exist- as objects themselves- and are so good at mimicking human emotions. Take them as they are, as M.E stated in her book, if their behavior is "good", then are they not "good"? Such as, "stupid is as stupid does" type thing.

      Humans are so hypocrites sometimes; Empaths can be so cruel and damaging out of "passion/love" but does that make them cruel? At the end, what does "good-intentions" does for anyone? It does not change the past.

      I suppose I am tired of emotions that drive us to believe in fairy-tales and illusions, ahem, "romanticizing the predator stare", seriously? How about reality- people are bad/good because they are.

      I think survival of the fittest. I see things as objectively as I can, and take thinks with indifference. I get more answers that way.


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