Friday, June 11, 2010

What once was lost

There are all sorts of weird side effects of my condition. For instance, I have a genius for finding things things that other people have lost. If I know a person well enough, I have a pretty accurate idea of the way their mind works -- I have all the formulas and patterns that explain the bulk of their behavior, I just need to plug in a certain unknowns to get a very accurate prediction of their future or present behavior. The only time normal people really see this at work is when I am helping them find something that they lost (sometimes emotionally, but in this case physically).

I recently received important mail at work that had been misplaced. Many people had remembered seeing it. Even I remembered seeing it on a particular surface. I casually questioned people, narrowed it down to a few leads, asked a few more questions -- this time hypothetical questions all based around what could have happened to the mail. Within 30 minutes of discovering that the mail was missing, I was able to locate it in a specific trash can in the office before it got emptied.

My most impressive "find," though, didn't involve any questions at all. I was on vacation with friends. At the airport, one of these friends was concerned that he had lost his glasses -- he had apparently been looking for them all morning, and they could have been anywhere. When I heard about it I immediately asked him, did you check in the top of the cooler? He looked, there they were. How did I know? I just know this person very well: very concerned about glasses, no glass case, safe and secure pouch in the top of the cooler, if I were him (and i mean actually him, not just if *i* were in his position) that is where I would have put the glasses. Sometimes I am amazed that people aren't able to do this for even their own selves.

It's a little thing to find some physical object that is lost, but I think it's illustrative of how scarily accurate my knowledge of someone can be. This hyper-awareness of others must be a primary distinction between us and those on the autism spectrum or the narcissists, or as you will see it on many diagnostic criteria, "charming and seductive." And yet society still loves aspies more (I feel my cain-complex flaring up again).


  1. I don't think this is amazing or a specific characteristic of sociopaths. I also have a great knack for finding things people have lost. I use the same method you've just described.

    I think you're attributing skills to your disorder that aren't directly related. All it takes is a rational mind.

    Where is it?
    Who put it there?
    Where would that person it put it and why?

    It's not tough stuff.

  2. Dogs are good at this, too. Maybe there's a genetic connection.

  3. I think you're attributing skills to your disorder that aren't directly related. All it takes is a rational mind

    you're suggesting that anyone with a rational mind has the awareness to read others. but you can be rational and without the awareness or ability to input and process a lot of external data.

    and if by rational you mean a purely logical mind, i think to put yourself in someone else's shoes you need the ability to imagine and accurately fill in the blanks of what you don't know about them. or it wouldn't be practical. you'd have to follow every logical path from a to b to c to d to figure the other person out.

    i don't see how you could do that purely logically. there would be too many steps and too many missing pieces. someone with hyper-awareness as well as an intuitive approach and imagination would be better at it.

    the intuitive approach would consider more factors, including emotional states, so an empath might even be better at this than a sociopath. but then too much emotion might prevent you from thinking and observing clearly, and you'd be predisposed to injecting your own biases/desires/beliefs when reading others. probably you'd have to be a sociopath with some empathic ability to be really good at it. or vice versa.

  4. Interesting and when considering a certain socio I know. She is quite good at locating things for others. I always attributed it to the fact she's what I would describe as 'nosey'. Now for herself, she loses things all the time. But I've come to the conclusion over time that it's purposeful for attention. Although at times she obviously purposefully leaves things behind and claims she's lost them but it's because she wants to have a way to worm her way back to do yet more exploitation.

    One question I do have that I've not seen made mention is that this person is expressionless or has few facial expressions.

  5. Yes, I'm suggesting that any rational person has the ability to read others if they have a true desire to do so. We can sit and argue about the semantics regarding what you "can" and "can't" do, based on the absence or presence of desire, but I think we can both agree it would be a waste of time.

    If you honestly desire to pay attention to something, you pay attention to it. I suppose I should have said that all it takes is a rational mind, the desire to figure people out, and the condition of not being comatose.

    In M.E.'s situation, he cares about all the little details about people, for his own reasons, while narcissists and aspies do not. The "primary distinction" he's talking about is just a by-product, and the ability isn't all that special. I can typically find things people have lost in under a minute, because I approach the situation with logic instead of emotion. Unless I'm somehow special and have the "sociopath superpower," this isn't all that impressive.

    But I guess I was a little too harsh, because it does illustrate the difference in thinking between sociopaths and the general populace. It just irks me how M.E. overplays ordinary skills like they're superpowers. If I did that, I'd think I was God, too.

  6. I used my sociopathic power to stop Lex Luther last night.

  7. I wish he'd use his superpowers and think of applying the spell check. Also, the new look doesn't work.

  8. Also, it's not that society loves aspie(s) more, it's that most have no opinion of aspies (besides the psychopaths) and the same most, well to say loathe sociopaths would be putting it mildly.

  9. But I guess I was a little too harsh, because it does illustrate the difference in thinking between sociopaths and the general populace. It just irks me how M.E. overplays ordinary skills like they're superpowers. If I did that, I'd think I was God, too.

    if it's an ordinary skill, it's an ordinary skill that most people can't do. but maybe you're right. maybe it's just a matter of wanting to read others and most people just aren't motivated to do that.

    so which sociopathic skills are the extraordinary skills? or is sociopathy a specific collection of ordinary skills?

  10. No, there are plenty of extraordinary things about sociopaths. For one, their complete lack of guilt, remorse, shame, and fear. Someone once start talking about "clearing chakras," and the methods for doing so all involved eliminating the same obstacles that sociopaths avoid without even trying. I think that's spectacular, not because I believe in chakras, but because the sociopath fits so many different ideals from so many different cultures.

    They have quite a few other extraordinary skills/abilities as well, but they all derive from the above. Being great at finding lost things just isn't one of them.

  11. Llo, you definitely have some narcissistic qualities to you. I've visited this site before, but I haven't even had to see that many posts to notice you love to praise your 'slick' qualities. I know you probably don't even care that I point this out and are actually proud of it. I am not trying to patronize, not that I would feel badly if I were; I just like my tone to be clear. I'm sure you've gotten that before. It's actually kind of funny, and I mean, actually amusing, not the sarcastic funny people often proclaim when they're actually upset.

  12. anonymous, you're babbling sweetie

  13. Someone once start talking about "clearing chakras," and the methods for doing so all involved eliminating the same obstacles that sociopaths avoid without even trying.

  14. oops, oh well.

    that's an interesting observation Peter. it sort of supports the idea that sociopaths are more evolved or enlightened, or whatever state it is we're at when the chakras have been cleared. but maybe it's the empathy that creates the obstacles, all the suffering and self-flagellation? in which case clearing chakras would be like always sweeping the same dirt around on the same floor.

  15. Wow you lost your mail and found it after 30 minutes of questioning, if that's not genius I don't know what is.

  16. And for all the "sociopaths" here, did you ever stop and consider you have adhd?? I would guess NO because if you had you would realize that ADHD and ASD fall within the same disorder group. ANd I have not seen the brilliant author mention the relationship once in his blog so far.
    I.E. Your example: a method of deduction different from the normal person that often proves to be effective. This is called non-linear thinking. It is something that those with ADHD do very well and they also said to have "a sixth sense".
    They often have a great intuitive ability to instantly figure how things function and how people think due to the fact I believe their mind is removed from distractions and constantly changing their subject they'll able to connecting seemingly unrelated information often on a subconscious level quickly to arrive at the conclusions. One of their "slick qualities".
    ADHD and sociopathy affect the same regions of the brain and -sometimes if adhd is left untreated will lead to conduct disorder and ultimately ASD.
    THose who have ADHD often suffer from something called "rule-based thinking" and thinking in black/white terms. It sounds like what you mention often. Also the "agression" problems are common in those with ADHD. However ADHD and ASD are -very- different.
    Anyways the sad thing is that it is very obvious to me you are more or less a normal person who has convinced himself otherwise.
    I hope anyone who reads this blog who believes they are a "socio-path" to deeply research ADHD.

    1. That is a possibility. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age, and for a while, I was positive that's what it was. It's a lot like you say, everything is black and white, I don't really see a middle ground. But, the difference being, I also don't have anything telling me to stop doing something because its wrong. The way I treat people, the laws I follow, I do them because that is what I know to do, not because of the morality of it. I could care less about how what I've done makes someone else feel. That doesn't cross my mind even a little. I do, and act, the way I do simply to keep normality, to blend in. I don't like to flaunt the fact that I can lie straight to your face and not feel a damn thing. I prefer to go unnoticed. And any one who goes through that knows the difference. Just like if you come across a person you don't like, you don't sit there thinking "Oh, maybe its just that I don't know them, or maybe my brain is just saying I don't like them". You know that you truly dislike them, and it probably isn't going to change. Different concept, same thing.

  17. i understand the ability to look into someone and know what they are thinking, sometimes before they do. when i was a kid, i was shocked when my friend didnt hear this one gals thoughts. i thought everyone could read/hear others thoughts! i dont try to, but when im talking to people, i see straight through any walls they have in place. they can tell when im reading them so some people avoid me. i dont try to read them i just do. i look in eyes when people talk and i know their plan, their fear. it kinda sucks actually.if my neighbor is in a bad mood, i feel it. whats the purpose of that? stupid skill.

    1. I have that too. But I'm an empath.
      I've discovered I'm in a pattern where I have copied my sociopath parents and behave like them, and another sociopath sees it and punishes me for it.
      Now, I'm not sure what my intention is.
      I know that working with sociopaths, it works just fine but I became more and more distressed with the lack of empathy and love because I know I'm not protected or able to trust them.

  18. Only posting this anon because I don't have an account on any other option in the drop-down list. I think the reason that some people may like people with Asperger's more is because we have empathy and a desire to be a part of society. We aren't grandiose, proclaiming our superiority and proving it with advanced manipulation tactics. That's all your "superpowers" are, advanced manipulation tactics. A real superpower would be something like the ability to learn any foreign language within a few weeks time, spotting patterns and errors in millions of bits of data instantaneously, or being able to hear the exact number of cylinders in a car from a mile away. I can do all three of these things. These simple processes to me, usual stun people, and I have no idea why, but I don't act as though I'm better than others because of it. You know a few magician's hand-tricks and think you're worthy of God-like praise. Not that you'll realize this just because I'm telling you (You are a sociopath) but humility and skill goes a lot farther than an egotistical person with a charming demeanor in life.

  19. I've been diagnosed with all 3 disorders. Adhd,Antisocial personality disorder and Aspergers. I feel empathy towards certain people like family and friends if I go into a rage and get into it with them. I'm pretty good at reading most people and I can manipulate like a mother fucker when I feel like it so I kinda see why I was diagnosed as sociopath. I've always had a hard time staying focused on whatever I wasn't interested in and not being able to sit still. So I understand and know for a fact I have adhd. I get obessessed with certain topics I'm still obessessed with geography and poetry, I have a hard time relating to most people too, and I have bad social phobia without getting high . So I see why I was diagnosed with aspergers but I'm not too sure I have it though. Idk may be I have all three of them all in one. It's cool to read everyone's opinions on this topic.i have symptoms of all 3 of them.


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