Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Sociopathy as legitimate life philosophy?

a reader writes:
I'm attaching two articles I thought you MAY find interest in.
I have this book that contains about 30 daily 'meditations' that I've been studying for years.
As an empath when I first started with this stuff it was a totally new world to me and seemed awfully cold at times but now I dont see it that way at all, I actually embrace it. When I have applied some of these principles to my own life people have labeled me jaded...Even though that is of no significance to me.
It's relevance to you, you ask??? Well a lot of the lessons seem to teach people to be more 'sociopathic' (to me) but the title of the book happens to be "The Way To Love." Funny enough its not actually about the way to 'love' and it hints that love is almost undefinable...
Check it out and if you wanna read more highly intellectual 'lessons' you can buy it for like 5 bucks at any bookstore.
Author: Anthony DeMello
a selection:
When someone tells you how special you are, all that you can accurately say is: This person given his particular tastes and needs, desires, appetites, and projections has a special desire for me, but that says nothing about me as a person. Someone else will find me quite unspecial and that too says nothing about me as a person. So the moment you accept that compliment and you allow yourself to enjoy it, you will give control of yourself to that other person. You will go to great lengths in order to continue to be special to this person. You will be in constant fear lest he meets someone who will become special to him and thus you will be dislodged from the special position you occupy in his life. And you will be constantly dancing to his tunes, living up to his expectations, and in doing so you will have lost your freedom. You have made yourself dependant on him for your happiness, for you have made your happiness depend on his judgment of you.

Then you can make things worse by beginning to search for other people who will tell you that you are special to them and you invest so much time and energy in making sure that they never lose this image they have of you. What a wearisome way to live! Suddenly fear comes into your life, fear that the image will be destroyed, and if what you seek is fearlessness and freedom, you must let go of this. How? By refusing to take anyone seriously when they tell you how special you are. The words “You are special to me” simply say something about my present mood regarding you, my taste, my present state of mind and development. They say nothing else. So accept that as a fact and do not rejoice in it. What you may rejoice in is my company and not my compliment. What you may enjoy is my present interaction with you, not my praise. And if you are wise, you will urge me to find many other special people so that you are never tempted to hold on to this image I have of you. It is not my image of you that you enjoy because you are ceaselessly aware that my image of you can change so easily. So what you enjoy is the present moment, because if you enjoy the image that I have of you, I will control you and you will be afraid to be yourself lest you hurt me, you will be afraid to tell me the truth, to do or say anything that would damage this image I have of you.

Apply this now to every image that people have of you and they tell you that you are a genius or wise or good or holy, and you enjoy that compliment and in that minute you lose your freedom; because now you will be constantly striving to retain that opinion. You will fear to make mistakes, to be yourself, to do or say anything that will spoil the image. You have lost the freedom to make a fool of yourself, to be laughed at and to be ridiculed, to do and say whatever feels right to you rather than what fits in with the image others have of you. How does one break this? Through many patient hours of study, awareness, observation, of what this silly image brings you. It gives you a thrill combined with so much insecurity and unfreedom and suffering. If you were to see this clearly you would lose your appetite to be special to anyone, or to be highly regarded by anyone. You would move about with sinners or bad characters and do and say as you please, regardless of what people think of you. You would become like the birds and flowers that are so totally unselfconscious, too busy with the task of living to care one little bit about what others think of them, about whether they are special to others or not. And at last, you will have become fearless and free.


  1. Our "disorder" isn't a disorder, that's why we can ever be "treated"...because we don't want to...and why would we? We live in a world of virtually no pain, where everything revolves around us because we see people as no more than a simple cardboard cut-out.

    Cruel? Jaded? What are these words? I am cruel because I lie, cheat, etc? I am jaded because I don't cry for the dead and I get turned on when I read rape articles? I am not cruel, I'm simply creative. I am not jaded, I simply just don't give a fuck.

    I can do no wrong for I do not know what it is.

    Our way of life is the best fit for this rotting society, such would explain the increase in our type. We'll use up everything this society has to offer...from natural resources to sexual favors, and when all resources and favors have been tapped we do not change, we simply move on to the next.


  2. Wrt the post:

    I couldn’t have said it better. It’s absolutely true in my experience, which is why I kept saying that it doesn’t matter what people think of me because it says more about them and their state of mind than it does me. That isn’t arrogance; it’s clarity. Only I would probably add that it’s not so much the feeling, good or bad, that traps you, but one’s attachment to the feeling. Instead of trying to shortcut or repress the emotion, merely notice it and let it go on its way is what I would say.

    I don’t really know that this way of thinking is “sociopathic” either. Must detachment from emotion equal pathology? I don’t know. I do know it’s akin to Eastern mindfulness practices, especially Vipassana Buddhism. Taking a step back and being aware of what one is feeling rather than identifying wholly with it would probably do a lot of people a lot of good, imnsho.

  3. I agree with the excerpt 100%, and I enjoyed his breakdown of the topic.

  4. "Cruel? Jaded? What are these words? I am cruel because I lie, cheat, etc? I am jaded because I don't cry for the dead and I get turned on when I read rape articles?"

    Yes you are evil and you want to be evil, thus there is no curing you. Of course you will say you are not evil, that evil doesn't exit blah blah blah. Evil people always say that stuff, always have.
    It won't be long before society will have a 'cure' for your ilk. Yes yes, I know you will say, ha, they'll never understand the complexities, or 'what about the ethical issues', or 'wouldn't that make you as bad as us'. All trite, insincere, superficial comebacks. You are evil and a disease to society, and in your life time you will find yourself increasingly ensnared and trapped. What will you do when a sociopath can be identified from voice patterns in a single phone call?

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  7. Daft Doughnut, sociopaths are common as shit as you say, but the vast majority of them lead disfunctional underachieving lives, and although joe public doesn't always identify them as 'sociopathic' most people spot them as worthless shallow trash from a mile off.
    You have no value to society, or to art or science or philosophy or anything else that requires depth and commitment. 90% of the trash talked about here relates to manipulating the psychologically fragile in normal society. The contempt and mockery shown for these other instances of 'neural diversity' is an exact image of how the rest of us should look at you. You (the sociopath) are not interesting. You are not glamourous. You are not successful. You are not accomplished. The odds you ever will be are extremely small. Only the rarest sociopath leads a full and successful life. The vast majority lead parasitic, friendless, directionless, pointless existences. Occasionally in the middle of the night looking at the ceiling even they see that. I'm sure you've had many such moments.

  8. Words like interesting, glamorous, successful, or accomplished are mostly used to describe other people as a way to validate them. I don't use them because it isn't up to me to validate someone. That is what they should do for themselves.

    As for your flawed insight about being parasitic, friendless, directionless, pointless existences, again, it isn't up to you to say that and have it mean something to others, its up to the sociopaths to do that when they look in the mirror, granted most of them do choose to suck from others and burn their bridges. It still isn't up to you to say that’s what they are and always will be. I don't look up at my ceiling and think that crap because things like that shit runs through the minds of people who are unsure of themselves and I am sure of who I really am and my path in life, your validation figures nowhere near my clarity of self, but I’m sure you never look up at the ceiling either, since you are damn sure I am whatever it is you are calling me, evil right? Cool, that’s the second time this week I was called that, so I must be right? I mean you said it, a few others have said it.

    If that is true, then I guess I should take that cream back because the label said it kills 99.9% EVIL.

  9. Each and everyone of us have the ability to be "evil" per say. Depends what you define as evil. Not one of us is free from that. We tell ourselves we are good so that we can feel good. We don't examine the deepest darkest parts of ourselves and accept it. Instead we ignore it and if does ever happen to rear it's ugly head we justify it by convincing ourselves that our actions, reactions etc were based on bad feelings we were experiencing instead of our own characters. It is not just the sociopath who has their own agenda, we just keeps ours hidden from ourselves and others because we are afraid of it. Why be afraid of being selfish? It is human nature! I assume most would consider that thinking about killing someone would be considered evil? You can't tell me you have never got so frustrated that you said to yourself "man I could kill that person right now!" Every one has the ability to be that selfish, to be that frustrated. It doesn't mean that you will act on it but you are just as capable of this type of "evil" thought as anyone else, Empath or not.

    The People Pleaser

  10. Save it you empathic sob! Everyone is a mixture of all the emotions be it good or bad ones.

    I don't justify anything I choose to do because I just do things with no real means or motive. I just to see how far it can go before it comes to an end. Push it and see. No more no less. No guilt or regard and no justification. I do what I do because I can.

    Fuck you, go please some guy's nuts!


  11. Omg! This is EXACTLY why I don't use deodorant or shave my legs and armpits.

  12. Sociopathy as a "life philosphy" seems to miss the point entirely. I don't believe Socio/Psycho/ASPD people are following a 'philosophy'.

    It may be useful for normal people to work on controlling their emotions and behavior. I think this is something apart from what I see in myself.

    I've read pretty widely in history, philosophy, psychology, economics etc. But I never think much of it, I was only looking for stuff I could use.

    Don't really have any sort of consistent perspective or philosophy, except perhaps that I don't believe anything and don't like being inconvenienced.

  13. Anon:

    "You have no value to society, or to art or science or philosophy or anything else that requires depth and commitment."

    This is an interesting concept, because I've contributed to society, with depth and commitment. In fact, early on, realizing my sociopathic tendencies, I did the exact opposite of what I was programmed to do... focus, commit, drive myself deep into something permanent. Neurotically so.

    With impulses curtailed, sociopaths can function very well, and use their particular strenghts to benefit society.

    It just takes desire to do so.

  14. Addendum:

    And, art, science, and philosophy were subjects I studied, and excelled at.

  15. "Yes you are evil and you want to be evil, thus there is no curing you. Of course you will say you are not evil, that evil doesn't exit blah blah blah. Evil people always say that stuff, always have..."

    Are you kidding me.

    To the buttfucker who posted this, I want you to take a moment and ask yourself:

    Who gives two shits and a fuck about your opinion?

    Telling 'whats his face' he's evil for gettin a stiffy at the thought of rape? Shit, kinda weird but whatever floats your boat. And then ranting how they are not interesting, not glamourous, and not successful. I think it's interesting as hell, I don't have it. Two close friends who are psych majors told me they think so though...hmm.

    Anyway, you make all these judgements, but how many sociopaths do you really know? 1? "Vast majority lead dysfunctional underachieving lives" you say...Ha, how the fuck would you know? Did you read that on the internet too? A lot of "normal" people live dysfunctional underachieving lives as well, douchebag.

    --Hmm, you sure you aren't just one of the "regulars" here posting anonymously to get responses? You're ignorance gets me thinkin, lol

  16. Anon,
    When's the last time you subjected yourself to a lifetime of torment so that a sociopath could be happy?


    My my, aren't we the hypocrite?

    Your God saw fit to give sociopaths and normals the same choice: your happiness, or theirs. Both have made the same choice.

    Only empaths choose to label it 'evil', perhaps because they were blessed with alternative ways to get their fix of pleasure.

    You should really have more compassion. Do you think a sociopath has any more control over what makes him happy than you do? If you do, I demand you to start taking pleasure out of torment.

    Mach schnell!

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  18. To Daft Cap Wearer:

    Inshivaad says...

    Well of course it had something to do with the topic being discussed, no? Perhaps I didn't do too good of a job explaining the significance of my examples, but I assumed they didn't need further explaining. Basically the point of my post was to show that nothing is true, nothing exists, all things are how you want them to be.

    Hence the meaning of my example regarding my apparent cruelty and jadedness. I do not see myself as such and so I am not cruel or jaded, though others may see me as such, and so I am cruel and jaded in their world...but their world is not mine, so their world does not exist to me. Alas, this is the underlying reason for why I personally cannot feel real emotions for anyone other than's because I do not see you as an existing entity. When I was a child, I always believed that life was just a game and that you all were pawns and that I'm the only one with actual life. This way of thinking just so happens to also be a symptom of a disorder...and so we come back full circle to the realm of labels.

    I'm not evil and neither are the empaths, we're simply what we make ourselves to be. How I wonder what this world would be like if we all started thinking this way...

  19. To Inshivaad:

    Daft says...

    I don't care.

  20. I have often wondered about the nature of emotions. I know that they should be tools, just as fear once, in the caveperson was a useful tool. However, more often than not, they betray the experiencer of the emotion. If this were not true, then on one would not be able to helplessly love someone who treated them like garbage.
    That people become self destructive due to emotions, which are truly, merely physiological responses to mental stimuli, tells us clearly that often they (emotions) can not be trusted. I am not a sociopath, but I am at this time not sure that it should be called a dysfunction. I keep trying to learn more about it. It seems that they, sociopaths are not good for empaths to be around, but this is no different than the nature of the predator and the prey in other ecosystems.
    Lions, eat gazelles. I am sure that to a gazelle, the lion is quite evil. However, to the lion, the gazelle is merely necessary sustenance. If the lion were to have a conscience, about eating the gazelle, then he/she would ultimately perish.
    I do not know what it “feels” like, or is like to be a sociopath, or psychopath (still trying to understand the difference between these two), but I know that I have know one, and while I did not appreciate the dishonesty and other bs he threw at me, the lack of consideration, etc, I admired much about him, his intelligence, and strength.
    I envy his ability to move through life relatively unfettered by things that typically bother people. His “dysfunction”, allows him to “be his own man” as the cliché goes, in ways that it just is not possible for others to achieve. To genuinely not care what others think and feel, allows one to be original in ways that are perhaps not possible for others.
    I do not pretend to understand the sociopath, and perhaps I am being horribly naïve, but I do envy him the gift of a life with no emotional pain or baggage.
    I only wonder, if he is able to feel the more delightful emotions, with the intensity that an “empathy” or “normal” person can.
    I wonder too, if this is a good thing for them.
    Perhaps the middle pillar, is a better place to be.


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