Sunday, July 16, 2017

Sociopath's perspective on being in love

From a reader:

I’m a male sociopath in his late 20s, and M.E. has loaned me her pulpit, because I’ve been in love, which I know from personal experience that that’s not something entirely unique for somebody like me (I know at least one other outlier), so it may apply to some of her readers. And because, well, I asked for the use of said pulpit. And, of course, because she’s been gracious-enough and interested-enough to see where I might be going with this.

            I’m high-functioning. I blend. I excel, and I don’t draw suspicion. The medical parameters that define sociopathy by the prerequisite of pre-adult fuck-ups and missteps seems just as asinine to me as to anyone. Not screwing up or making mistakes before a diagnostic age doesn’t change who you are, or what you are; just means you can watch your ass. You aren’t a total idiot. Good for you. But kids are idiots, across the board, and at the end of adolescence, I met a girl.

            Started off pretty mundane, really. She agreed to go out. She got cold feet. I saw reluctance as a game. I successfully made her go out with me, and that was pretty much it, as far as I was concerned; I won. But she wanted to hang out with me the next day, and for some reason, I did too. We spent time together, and then she had to leave. Maybe because I wasn’t ready for her to leave yet, and because it wasn’t on my terms, but the absence made the heart grow fonder.

        After weeks of talking to another human being, every single night, for 2 – 6 hours at a time, I finally had a moment of clarity; I (still) forget what my mother looks like if I haven’t seen her in a week, but I actually miss somebody when I don’t see or hear from her. I might be feeling something for somebody. Faced with two options, instead of cutting and running, I went all-in, because this was the weirdest game of my life. Either I was wrong, which’d be a first, or else I actually had a shot of an emotional bond, which was also a first. So I bet it all, threw caution to the wind, and invested in whatever other bullshit poetic stereotypes I could think of. I even wrote her a poem and asked her to go steady with me; we both cried. Well, I shed one tear, but that was a personal victory.

        I attempted self-delusion. I’d read everything there was to read about sociopathy, ASPD, and about psychopathy. If I felt love, I must’ve been wrong; I couldn’t be a sociopath, by definition. But I still couldn’t make myself care about anyone or anything else, and I still gut-laughed when cripples fell, despite my best efforts. I grew to quietly accept that I was still an asshole, and she was just the one exception to all my rules: the one I didn’t get tired of, the one I didn’t want anything from but her company, the one I gave a fuck about even when it had no bearing on myself. The one I resolved to never manipulate in any way.

        I was happy. Not satisfied, like winning a fight, or getting my way, and not amused or entertained, but happy. It was fucking intoxicating. Addicting. Like nothing I’d ever felt before; I felt simple for ever doubting the empaths I saw with their dumbass little bliss, because I actually had it. And it was real.

        We were together for years. I joined the military, because I’d already had plans to kill people and not go to jail, and I wasn’t going to bitch out on plans I’d told others of just because of somebody else or their feelings, and still she stayed loyal. Finally, she broke it off, for her own personal reasons. I didn’t blame her. What’s incredible is that I still don’t. The only person I haven’t ever been able to be mad at, even if I tried, and rage is the one thing I’m truly good at.

        I imagined that I should be furious at how she could be so dumb to throw away one of the only times lightning struck and somebody like me felt love. I wanted to think her stupid for throwing away my complete, unfettered, and unchallenged love, because nobody could love her with the same focus I could. And her friends did.

        But I realized that the reason I couldn’t actually judge is because I don’t know. I can’t claim that. I have no idea how somebody else would love her, and maybe a normal man would be able to love her, and her family, and his family, and whoever else, and still be full of love leftover. Maybe somebody else would have room in his mind for all the love I felt and other loves, but without all the hate that I always have in me. Even if she could appreciate the statistical anomaly, I’d never tell her what I was, so it’s not like she could be culpable. And even if she’d known, if leaving me was what she needed, I actually just wanted her to be happy, for whatever fucked-up reason, far more than I’ve ever wanted myself to be happy.

        I’ve read, all my life, the “studies,” the bullshit, about how sociopaths aren’t capable of love. I’ve heard the “prognosis,” all of which end with the same recommendation: everyone who knows any sociopath should cut all ties and abandon them. I’ve even read sociopaths’ accounts of being in love. One described it as all-consuming, wanting to suck the air out of the person’s lungs. I think that might actually be the sociopath’s infatuation, but I’m not positive that’s love. When you don’t care about anything, the one thing you do care about can be intoxicating.

        But to actually love somebody, it’s selfless. When all you have is yourself, that’s dangerous. It’s addictive, it’s destructive, and it’s terrible. Love actually is all they crack it up to be. But if you don’t even love your family, if all you love is one person, it’s crushing, unrelenting, and as single-dimensioned as a fucking fairy tale.

        To say I love this girl more than myself isn’t that impressive. I couldn’t give a shit about my own personal well-being. If picking a fight or riding a motorcycle breaks up the monotony of the day, let’s roll the dice. But I can say that I was willing to grow old for her, and that I still dream about her, and both are equally horrifying.

        I’m proud of her for stepping away before I or my lifestyle scarred her, but I hate myself every single day for it. Letting her go without manipulating her into staying, every day that I don’t call her and worm my way back into her life, is the only selfless thing that I’ve ever done, probably my only “redeeming factor.” But I also live every day knowing that I could. Not contacting her seems to be the only “decent” thing I’ve ever really done. The voice that says I could tells me I’m a little bitch for losing the only game I actually care about anymore. And I live with the self-directed anger. The fact that I don’t is more proof to me that I actually do love her than any proof I ever saw while riding the high.

        I’m working on being as angry as I used to be, but instead of fueling fearless aggression that drives success, my apathy now tends to be a shitty little anchor tempting me towards comfort and complacency. I’m open to tips from anyone who’s been there before, to get back to where I was. I do not value this “personal growth.”

        This isn’t a tale of redemption; I never stopped treating people like the social commodity they are before, during, or after being a mutually loving relationship. This isn’t a bitch-session; if I had to do it again, knowing what I know now, I’d still do the same, because that high was indescribable. And it isn’t advice, because I’m not “better” for having been through the experience. If you have the chance, do whatever you fucking want. These are just words, and one solitary account. If you’ve been through the same, you aren’t alone. If you haven’t, you’re in the majority. But the concept that a sociopath can’t feel love, under the right circumstances, real, selfless love, is utter bullshit, and I’d beat to death anybody that tried to argue. And I wouldn’t even feel bad about it.

130 comments:

  1. Hmm ty for sharing...this is helpful.

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  2. Well, I teared up reading that. Humbling.

    I do think **-* loves his son.

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  3. Hahahaha what a melodramatic pile of dogshit this article is. Just some socially inept fucktard roleplaying Dangerous Liaisons in his head. Yawn.

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  4. This was cute. This a guy who appears to have inherited his sociopathy (genetically and / or environmentally) but finally came across someone who brought out a piece of his true, good heart buried deep within. He didn't tell us what exactly it was about this girl that made him fall for her but I can imagine: she was probably the purest soul he ever met (OR she appeared to be).

    "I felt simple for ever doubting the empaths I saw with their dumbass little bliss, because I actually had it. And it was real."

    Yup. True love - the best form of which is divine love - is worth more than anything the world has to offer.

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    1. You are a complete moron

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  5. If you are truly a sociopath and self-aware, than you know of your tendency towards control. Hopefully part of understanding your tendency is also the awareness that you can't control everything.

    I don't think any particular eventuality is certain, especially in a situation without precedent (such as you falling in love). Despite that, you state that you are glad she got out before you hurt her. Would you have done so? Can you be sure? I must ask, are you avoiding here out of some Noble Sacrifice, or because you don't know how it would end and are afraid of getting hurt? Is the real fear rejection and a loss of control?

    Don't just answer me here, ask yourself that. Let's dive out of the focus of the site and speak generally. Everyone lies. Everyone lies to themselves at times. Are you doing that here?

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    1. Yea I was asking myself the same thing. Has he convinced himself this is love because he didn't try to get her back? He seems to have convinced himself if he tried he could. That's not necessarily true especially if she's moved on say with someone else she could see a future with.

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    2. "Don't just answer me here". He likely won't answer you here, there or anywhere else for that matter. For some reason M.E. in all here wisdom hasn't figured out it would probably be a sweet idea to drop these spunk rags an e-mail when she decides to hit publish on their drivel. But don't worry you have the likes of Bella here to slake your thirst for tantalizing intellectual debate. And by that I mean she'll probably go off on a poorly articulated tangent linking all the points raised in this article to here own mundane and pitiful relationship. Boy are you in for a real treat my friend.

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    3. "Is the real fear rejection and a loss of control?"

      That would be a common fear!

      One thing that struck me in the OP was a similarity that I feel, and that is that losing him is ok in a sense. I see him as separate to me, entitled to his own existence. I don't want to lose him, but the appreciation of his separateness is somehow central to my love for him.

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    4. @North than what do you consider loss?

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    5. I would consider not being able to see him as a loss.

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    6. Maybe that's where I am as well. I know I can survive. I will. However, when I think of losing my SO, just simulate it in my head, it is an emotional response I have. A burning in my chest.

      However, everything else is detached.



      It's so hard to figure out what you are in an age that demands to know it.

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  6. Does this idiot expect me to read all of that crap.

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  7. That was so well written, I just came here randomly (not native english speaker) and could not stop reading. Bravo!

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    1. If you aren't a native English speaker, then why would we think you can tell how well something is written?

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  8. The very hardest thing about being in a relationship with a sociopath: he holds a view that it's not possible for both to feel settled. This means that if I'm anxious about something and raise it, he interprets it as a deliberate attempt to unsettle him. Of course, he then reacts by flipping the tables (from his perspective) and deliberately unsettling me so that he can hold the safer post.

    So it's always a double whammy for me.

    Sometimes I wish I didn't understand this. Since I do, I end up empathising with him, pitying him that he feels unsettled.

    Sometimes I wish I remembered this process before I raised my concern. It's very hard when emotional to step outside my own paradigm and consider a more effective course.

    Sometimes I wish he could see I don't operate the way he thinks I do.

    In the end, I can only adopt a stance that A once described as conciliatory but not weak.

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    1. Understand that it's a competition even if it's a rather friendly one

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    2. Thanks Socia. I hope its friendly competition at the moment, I can see how it might be. He said twice that he can't trust me and then cut off comms. But then, this was in response to me actually not trusting him, so it makes sense from a competitive perspective. I do think there's an element of truth to it, though.

      I don't feel the need to win, but I am driven to understand. I think that is my form of achieving mastery; that's what satisfies me.

      "We all do what it takes to not be the victim" ~ Wire in the Blood.

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    3. If you compete well he will respect you. If you are whiny about anxiety or whatever he will play with you and enjoy it until it becomes too easy and he gets bored with it, or you become too much trouble to keep.

      There is still guilt and self-doubt, even an extent of neediness in your posture. These are not good for him "trusting" you, which for him means that he can be reasonably confident that interaction with you will continue to be beneficial to him.

      A sociopath cannot conceive of these self-immolating emotions of yours because they are totally alien to him, except as weaknesses he could exploit if he wanted to. When he says you aren't trusting him, he is testing you. It is in your interest to avoid trying to communicate with him on that level.

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    4. I am sad.

      From my perspective, each time we get a bit closer, he does something to unsettle me. I called him on it, plain and simple: "Whatsapp, not email. I won't share you."

      He had received 6 or 7 notifications at 6am, sounded like text messages. Very unusual and his phone was on super loud. I said "sounds like someone wants you." He made up a horribly convoluted story about his phone proactively checking emails. Nonsense. He was sick, and I made him tea and cut him an orange before leaving.

      Later in the day, I noticed he was on Whatsapp just after I left his place, hence my message. He came back saying we had reached a level of mistrust that in his experience is rarely recoverable. I said we had overcome bigger trust issues. He thought about that for an hour or two, then threw the past at me, accused me of going through his phone ("the worst thing ever") and said he could never trust me. All nonsense to which I said "that's not the case."

      As far as I'm concerned, if he wants to throw an unreasonable tanty over a situation he created, I'll wait until he calms down. In my view, he is afraid of us getting too close and this is how he deals with it. And if he is seeing someone else, I won't be sleeping with him. That's fair, that's the deal we made.

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    5. When I say "unreasonable tanty" I think it's actually what I described originally: his shifting the blame to have the upper hand. But objectively speaking, it's an unreasonable tantrum.

      I'm happy to apologise for things I do that aren't optimal, but I won't apologise for nonsense he makes up. Neither will I bother rationalising it to him.

      It's the same old story, though: he is paranoid about being stalked / spied on. Either that or paranoia is his default m.o. I'm honestly not sure.

      He might be sick of me. He might be annoyed that I implied he was seeing someone else. He might be seeing someone else and shifting the blame of untrustworthiness onto me. He might just be going for the upper hand. Either way, he's not taking responsibility for his part.

      Anyway, thanks for prompting me to think about it.

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    6. "We all do what it takes not to be the victim". Or to avoid becoming the victim once more, in your case. You said the other day that your previous relationship was abusive. From how you've described the new guy he seems pretty normal to me, if a little insecure and noncommittal. Perhaps you're seeing the worst in him because your past experiences have left a lasting impression on you and now you're stuck in paranoid self protection mode, jumping at shadows and trying to preempt threats that don't necessarily exist anymore. The rule of thumb people here seem to follow is to just accept that your boyfriend is a psycho and therfore his every action must be a manifestation of his psychopathy, then cast out a bunch of blanket statements applicable to all sociopathic types. This is likely because you're providing them with a platform to prove their insider knowledge of the condition... I don't see how this is helpful. All it does is provide new sinister context to actions that may in reality be more mundane or simply douchebaggy in nature, reinforcing your belief that you're being victimised. Nobody here really knows your boyfriend. We're just going off your likely skewed take on him. You may as well be talking into a vacuum and listening to your own echo. Perhaps you should try getting him to pay a visit here so we can gain a more fair and balanced perspective...

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    7. I agree that it's better to trust my own judgement because it's absolutely not possible to provide sufficient context here for all the subtleties. And yes, sometimes reading things stokes unrealistic fears.

      I have learnt a lot here, though. And he will sometimes say things that echo sentiments I read here. I showed him this place back in 2014 and again a couple of years back.

      I'm here not because I see the "worst in him" but to better predict and understand him. I don't tend to use judgemental terms like good, bad, evil. I enjoy his company, but he operates in ways that are very foreign to me. As I've learnt more, those ways are less foreign and less energy consuming to deal with. But there are often times I just don't understand him, this being one of them.

      I wrote these comments because I felt sad about something I can't change and don't really understand. That doesn't mean I feel victimised or perceive him to be bad. I see it as a clash of paradigms.

      That quote wasn't my best, obviously. It actually referred to both murderers and their victims; the view that we have own own intrinsically generated meanings of mastery.

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    8. You see, given that it is in the nature of those affected by antisocial personality disorder to behave in a destructive, exploitative and, well, antisocial fashion, the fact that you've identified him as a sociopath implied to me that you do see the worst in him. It's quite rare and quite strange to hear someone speak of the condition without negative connotations given the damaging impact sociopaths inherently have on those around them. It's like you've decided to label your guy with a disorder which to put it simpy means he's a natural born wanker, but then altered the definition of the disorder to mean that he is in fact not a wanker, he's just 'different'. Perhaps it would be simpler to examine his behaviour within an entirely different framework. One that makes more sense. To me he just seems like regular guy with trust/commitment issues who mabye wants to keep his options open. Nothing hard to understand about that... The other day one of the anons joked about him gifting you to his family as a sex slave and you responded: "I can assure you I am not naive as to what this man is capable of.". I take this to mean that you do believe he's capable of some highly reprehensible shit? Or am I being judgemental in thinking that something on the level of sex trafficking should probably be classified as 'bad'?... I understand the disire to avoid overly simplistic thinking but sometimes ya just gotta call a spade a spade you know.

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    9. "Paradigms". I learnt a new word today!

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    10. North, maybe he's mad that you gave him a bunch of STDs.

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    11. Paradigm was his word, a sophistication of a term I used previously.

      In words I used with him: he "has demonstrated his capacity for disproportionately callous action."

      In words our former office manager used: "he's lovely but high maintenance."

      In his own words: he's "been to Monsters University"

      These are all behaviourally based descriptions. It's not too much of a jump to say an unfair or damaging action is "bad"; it's a bigger jump to label a person who has done "bad" things as "bad." But it's definitely easy.

      I don't think he has done more "bad" things than I have. Most of his behaviour is self-protective.

      ASPD is different to psychopathy / sociopathy. Here's something K@ wrote a couple of posts back:

      Just because you appear to be 'callous and unemotional' doesn't mean you're psychopathic. You'd need to be fearless [you say you are], but also: reckless, very self-confident, calm, stress- and anxiety-free, irresponsible, highly goal-oriented, charming, very unaccommodating, trust no-one, amoral, rule-breaking, very prone to boredom and with very high agency ie. a 'doer' not a talker. To the level of two Standard Deviations above the norm for your age and gender.

      That fits. Does it imply vindictiveness or malice 100% of the time? That's probably contingent on any number of things, as it is with any other human.

      It does imply a self-reliant, self-protective stance with strong agency.

      Remember the cognitive dissonance neurotypicals feel when dealing with a psychopath is lack of understanding. Why did they act in so incomprehensible fashion? I don't believe at all that the answer to that question is "they are bad."

      It's about time we looked at the sets of behaviours psychopaths / sociopaths employ to solve the same social problems we all face. How does a particular behaviour function to solve a social problem eg social status (important for securing resources)? How does this strategy differ from a neurotypical strategy? What are the benefits or trade offs? How is the same situation experienced differently by neurotypicals?

      My hunch is that psychopaths / sociopaths utilise a different framework for identifying threat and opportunity. I wonder what the distinction of experience is for you? Could anyone share?

      I think psychopaths attack both; but some neurotypicals do this too. Psychopaths are still probably swifter to act, though.

      I wonder about how you guys experience a neurotypical's emotional state. Socia's comment above is very interesting to me, indicating I'm giving off signals of "weakness" that could trigger attack. I've often seen emotion trigger attack. Is it opportunity or threat you are perceiving? To be honest, it looks like threat* response, but it wouldn't surprise me if the attacking party experienced it as opportunity.

      I think there might be a transposition of threat and opportunity.


      *Why would emotion be a threat? Because you lack emotional richness in your own experience, you can't fathom the why of what's happening in our heads, and thus have less predictive power.

      The sadness I referred to was prompting me to resolve the situation. A neurotypical normally does this by trying to connect: impossible task when the other party is seeing only a trigger to attack.

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    12. It might be both threat and opportunity, as the two constructs are entangled in complex ways. The threat you describe is to independence. The question is whether the likely benefits of the opportunity outweigh its threat aspects.

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    13. It sounds to me like he threw a tantrum when you caught him messing around online, so as to deflect from his own poor behaviour, and shift blame onto you. He is now the offended party, and you are the one who must seek restitution, even though he was the one being deceptive and untrustworthy. (Note that this is precisely what he is accusing you of.) This gives him the upper hand. If I were you, I would call him on his crap immediately.

      All that shit about your "reaching an unacceptable level of distrust" is most likely his hyper-defensive reaction to being caught. His disengaging is a either power play, in which *you* must now pursue *him* if you wish to preserve the relationship- even though *you* caught *him* messing around (see how that works?) - or it is serving as a convenient excuse for him to cut you off, because he has grown bored with the relationship.

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    14. Hi A,

      This is what I fear is the case.

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    15. It might be both threat and opportunity, as the two constructs are entangled in complex ways. The threat you describe is to independence. The question is whether the likely benefits of the opportunity outweigh its threat aspects.

      This is interesting indeed. Thankyou.

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    16. North,
      "I wonder about how you guys experience a neurotypical's emotional state."
      Detached boredom, like watching TV or movie.
      "I've often seen emotion trigger attack. Is it opportunity or threat you are perceiving?"
      Emotions are just data. Emotional response is a nuisance if there's expectation one 'should' respond. Not threat, just an impertinence, which is either ignored or played.
      "you can't fathom the why of what's happening in our heads, and thus have less predictive power."
      As Alice said, the why is of no interest. Predictable is often boring. Predictable aggression is the most boring of all.
      "How does a particular behaviour function to solve a social problem eg social status (important for securing resources)?"
      Innate assertiveness and self-confidence ensure success by default [if not warped by adverse external circumstances]. Self-confidence means one defines success without reference to a 'group' norm, often.
      "How does this strategy differ from a neurotypical strategy?"
      Few NT's are leadership material, innately. They usually have to 'bond' with each other, gain acceptance and play at 'group politics' to gain/share resources.

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  9. This is the fantasy of a codependent. The cold and harsh sociopath meets a woman and shes different from every other one. His emotions start to emerge and he is puzzled by them. Gradually he turns into a loving teddy bear(only with her of course).
    Sadly for her this is far from the truth.
    Either its written by a woman like this or more possibly by a man who, for whatever reason, has convinced himself that he's a sociopath but couldn't fight against his need for emotional connections, and everything he says later are attempts to diminish cognitive dissonance.
    He is young, they tend to search for identities.
    He states that he "’d read everything there was to read about sociopathy, ASPD, and about psychopathy" so it seems that that's where his conclusion about himself is based, there is no diagnosis, if there was he would not forget to mention it. He also uses the word sociopath which is not used in a diagnosis.
    "If I felt love, I must’ve been wrong; I couldn’t be a sociopath, by definition." He now worries about the identity he was sure he had. Makes me wonder why he even cares so much about the label and doesn't just go do as he wills.
    He states that he doesn't feel anything about other people, that could be a symptom of many things.
    My advise is, do as you will and don't try to stick to a label or explain yourself. He might have some traits that seem psychopathic but that doesn't make him one, and since he isn't for sure one he can't state that psychopaths can love.

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    1. Quite right. In the above he says: "I couldn’t give a shit about my own personal well-being."

      What kind of sociopath says that?

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  10. North. It all comes down to a real or perceived loss of control. Invasion of privacy, even the illusion, is near the top of my list for loss of trust, or control and order needs to be re-established. He obviously knows you well enough to know how to hurt and how much to hurt to either re-establish status quo or quite possibly test you to see how far you will go/have gone. He may be taking this oportunity to learn how you react to this situation, and if you are still useful under the circumstances. To paraphrase traffic, he may just want to be a cunt. I cannot tell you an end game because the details are personal, but a good power play is too rare an opportunity to pass up, and he probably has contingency plans prioritized to how you fit in his life. It is about the fight, it is about noting the reaction, and most importantly it is about returning control. Your reaction is important to him.

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    1. Thanks manicgecko.

      I think he is genuinely paranoid about being spied on and his actions were to basically indicate that I am more untrustworthy than he.

      He's cut off comms, so there won't be any reacting for a week or so, I wouldn't think.

      I think it comes back to his not really being able to get close. He initiated the greater closeness in this last instance after I told him I accepted him (regarding his "I went to monsters university" comment), but I guess it was too hard. He can't help thinking I'm trying to manipulate him and take control of his life.

      I darned his sock the other week. Never done that before. Maybe it was getting a bit too domestic for both of us.

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    2. Darned his socks... That made me cringe.

      He wants to feel he can survive without anybody's love. Without anybody's protection.

      You are suffocating him. You turned into the mother he never had. He resents you for it. It hurts him in the deepest level. You are telling him he is nothing without you.

      My 2c worth...

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    3. TBH, this fits the picture pretty nicely.

      The sock was a quandary because I'd borrowed the pair (made from some special cotton, which he loves) and made the hole worse. I asked him if he preferred me to return them or fix them.

      It explains a few other things. He had become strangely defensive while we were joking around the night before this stuff happened. He asked me to pick up some things from the shop (also a new development)... oh man, I won't relate it all, but yeah, the fear of engulfment makes sense of a bunch of things that puzzled me, including why he wanted to hide his phone and why he was insisting I was trying to gain control of his life.

      I guess that's what Socia was saying with independence being the threat.

      What I don't understand was why he initiated the extra contact if it was this difficult for him. I wasn't asking for it (at least not recently.)

      I had in the past asked to see him more often, but that's because one sleepover a week is not really enough. We once had a massive, all night negotiation on this point (his fantasy in exchange for twice a week) but we settled on twice the next week in exchange for him basically indicating he really, really, really wanted it (what he said was "if I count for you...." and that was enough for me). I ended up judging that as fair and didn't ask again. But that said, something happened that night, you guys won't want the details... and in the morning, I said something that made him gasp in pleasure, so... maybe that's the why. And come to think of it, he kinda mentioned that thing last week...

      Seriously, I had no idea this was an issue. He's welcome to his space, I don't want to intrude like that. Yikes.

      Why can't he just say these bloody things.

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    4. Oh sorry, I meant to say thanks for your 2c :p

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  11. hey north,

    why should he be paranoid about you spying on him? (that sounds like he is afraid) and why should he try to make you think that you are more untrustworthy than he is? or why should he think, that you are trying to manipulate him and take control of his life? (why won't he just leave if he is annoyed or threatened by you?) seems to me like you are overanalyzing these things a little bit... i really can't understand why so many people are overthinking and wrack their brains over every single word/actions their partner, friend or just a random acquaintance is saying/doing and then they try to conclude what this could possibly mean and come up with fanciful theories... so many of my friends are doing this (and it is occupying their lifes, makes them unhappy)... maybe it's because they really care what these people think about them?

    alice

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    1. Hi alice,

      How are you?

      Overthinking is definitely counterproductive at this point. The fact is I don't know the answers to a couple of questions and it's dangerous to fill that gap with what I wish or fear.

      His last words to me were "This is spying / stalking. It's not the first time. I can't trust you."

      He also said "...now you are auditing me. Worst thing ever. I will never be able to trust you, you just keep pushing and manipulating to take control, you can't help it."

      I think that's how he really feels, it's consistent with his usual behaviour.

      He's not an aggressive guy. He's gentle, generally paranoid, manipulative, elusive, very hesitant to trust.

      He had initiated the recent increased closeness, not me.

      I don't know what he was doing with his phone. I don't know if he's cut things off for good.

      It's up to me to see what's in front of me, just as it is, and to navigate my own life.

      Delete
    2. hey north,
      i'm fine, you? (i have several exams soon, so i have a lot of time to waste on the internet haha)
      so if you see that overthinking is counterproductive, why are you doing this then? is it like a reflex? something you are automatically doing? what did you answer when he said, that you are spying on him and he can't trust you etc? or did you say nothing?
      "It's up to me to see what's in front of me, just as it is, and to navigate my own life." yes it definitely is up to you...

      alice

      Delete
    3. All the best for your exams. I'm home sick today.

      He cut off comms so it's hard to say much. I sent a few texts, but he never responds to those anyway.

      This article might interest you Why do relationship breakups hurt so much?

      Consider everything the brain invests in sustaining a relationship, all the changes it undergoes, all the value it places on being in one. If you remove all this in one fell swoop, the brain is going to be seriously negatively affected. All the positive sensations it has grown to expect suddenly cease, which is incredibly distressing for an organ that doesn’t deal with uncertainty and ambiguity well at all. Studies have shown that a relationship breakup activates the same brain regions that process physical pain.

      I guess psychopaths' brains don't create the initial levels of investment, and so a breakup is less impacting.

      Here's another perspective (concerning uncertainty, which is what he created):
      "Every behaviour we do is to decrease uncertainty, to increase certainty... we do almost everything to avoid uncertainty."

      Creating uncertainty is a go-to tool for psychopaths for this reason. Human brains hate uncertainty and are compelled to resolve it. So it's a surefire way of getting a reaction. But once we see this strategy for what it is, it's just another piece of information about what's at stake for the psychopath.

      Anyway, you can extrapolate this approach to everything I've done in dealing with him. Any little stunt told me more about what was at stake for him. I didn't take it any more personally than that and used it to draw very clear boundaries for him. I also used this information to care for him, but that might have been wasted effort. Nevertheless, that's what I did.

      The interesting thing is that creativity stems from uncertainty (continuing the quote above): "Creativity always begins with a question, a not knowing, a why, a what if."

      Delete
    4. interesting article, didn't know that... well might explain why people are affected so much by breakups... oh and i like the quote about creativity, it's true i guess, you can only be creative if you don't know a solution yet.
      what was at stake for him?

      alice

      Delete
  12. North. Regardless of the precursors, motivation and intent behind a psychopathic person's behaviour the end result is that their actions will be detrimental to the rest of society(bad). If their behaviour is not to the detriment of anyone else then that person is not a psychopath. Simple as that. Doesn't matter if you're talking about ASPD or psychopathy or how you differentiate the two(the distinction has never been completely clear to me, or seemingly to the experts), both are characterised by extreme antisocial behaviour and attitudes. I'm not saying a psychopathic person is necessarily going to be innately any more malicious and fucked up then the next guy. Every single person the world over has a near constant stream of dark and destructive impulses coursing through their sick little animal brains from the moment they wake up to the moment they bed down, and even "neurotypicals" will yield to these impulses often enough or under the right circumstances entirely. The difference with a psychopath is that the have no fear or compunction about acting on these thoughts straight up. No restraints holding them back from stealing from their workplace or punching their girlfriend in the face for spilling wine on the carpet or whatever. If a psychopath has long term goal in mind and see's a gain in cutting some corners or fucking somebody over they won't hesitate. Why hesitate when you just don't care and see others as inferior? Expecting a person such as this to make it through life without multiple incident of gloriously fucked up(bad) behaviour would be unrealistic... If you believe your boyfriend to be a psychopath then I guess that's your business. If you happen to be correct all I would say is that if you wanna keep him you have to make him feel completely comfortable being his true depraved self around you. You have to make him feel like your in on the sick little joke he's playing on the rest of the world and you're having just as much fun as he is, otherwise he'll see you as just another gullible retard in a world full of gullible retards, get bored and dump you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, the error this dickhead (**-*) made was that I knowingly chose to let him feel comfortable. Now that he's not respecting me, he's got no foundation whatsoever.

      He outright loses because I was the one making the choices he was merely then a subject to.

      He is as weak and pathetic as ever a human was.

      Delete
    2. I'm not saying a psychopathic person is necessarily going to be innately any more malicious and fucked up then the next guy. Every single person the world over has a near constant stream of dark and destructive impulses coursing through their sick little animal brains from the moment they wake up to the moment they bed down, and even "neurotypicals" will yield to these impulses often enough or under the right circumstances entirely. The difference with a psychopath is that the have no fear or compunction about acting on these thoughts straight up.

      Yes, I do think a key difference is how close fantasy and reality are for psychopaths.

      Our secret fantasies

      Delete
    3. "See, the error this dickhead (**-*) made was that I knowingly chose to let him feel comfortable. Now that he's not respecting me, he's got no foundation whatsoever.

      He outright loses because I was the one making the choices he was merely then a subject to.

      He is as weak and pathetic as ever a human was."

      Is that right, North?

      Why? I believe that only a select number of individuals are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions that differ from the prejudices of others. You see, to my mind, one should never fall into the discourteous solecism of dreaming of being persecuted whenever challenged. For my part, I explore only to please myself and like only what suits my taste: your comments, including opinions. Here is mine: Visit deweystreehouse.blogspot.com and search for the entry marked Tuesday, August 30, 2016. Foundation: “But now I feel sort of responsible for you.” Listen to it – one more time. What do you hear, really? Does it answer your questions?

      No, I most certainly do not design toy planes

      "I darned his sock the other week. Never done that before."

      Delete
    4. I have references in favor of the above and below. If the context is mislaid, and merely bits and pieces endure from a disbanded existence, only the connection of anchor points may reinstate a distorted balance in an intervallic life-story.

      The plane will fly

      Right.

      Delete
    5. MamaSquirrel, you know the Little Prince gets me every time :p

      He was unfair. Anger is part of my process; I don't stay stuck there. It's enough that I recognise myself.

      I feel like he has to limit his interactions with the world to a few pinprick-sized channels that he strictly manages. I feel my life is far bigger than that and I'm glad. It's nice to be reminded of this, and to breathe fresh air.

      Our relationship has been exactly like that fox scene, but he ultimately cannot bring himself to get too close. He is untamed as the sea.

      Delete
    6. @North is this all you do is talk about your miserable relationship with your weirdo boyfriend? God if I have to read another one of your posts I'm going to cut my own fucking eyeballs out. Get over yourself nobody gives a fuck

      Delete
  13. Traffic I disagree. The statistics shows 1 in 25 people have ASPD and you're telling me none of these people have impulse control?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor impulse control. I'd say a psychopath has pretty much zero impulse control during childhood and even stretching into adolescence. They'll test every boundry, cross every line without any forethought or hesitation whatsoever. As they mature they may gain some degree of control. They say psychopaths don't learn from past experience's but this isn't true. They learn how to not get caught, but even if they are able to momentarily suppress their urges that doesn't mean they won't act on them eventually. For example if a psychopath has pervasive fantasies about rape and murder you can bet your last Braid cd(or whatever music you and your dumb emo friends like to listen too) that they'll eventually go rape and murder someone, whereas a regular person with those type of proclivities likely won't go beyond jacking off to Best Gore... All that said, even in adulthood psychopaths will regularly just act on whatever crazy idea enters into their head without giving a fuck. Hence why it's classified as disorder. Changing subjects... Where'd your tits go?

      Delete
    2. Ok now that you put it that way I agree with that. I changed my pic lolol....I do that..

      Delete
    3. In this case you changed it right after I criticized you on it. Purely coincidental right?

      Delete
    4. "You guys look like a bunch of ice-cream cones!"

      Delete
    5. Traffic it wasn't immediately after lol stop being delusional or if it makes you feel better go ahead lol

      Delete
    6. Atrophic Atropa,

      All the fake laughter you produce when trying to convince people that you don't care what they think doesn't alter the fact that you changed your tit pic after getting derided for acting like a self-deprecating, basic whore-- but it certainly draws attention to your weakness.

      But hey! If being delusional makes you feel better, go ahead.

      "Lol".

      ;)

      Delete
    7. Hmmmm fake laughter? So I guess I don't care! I changed my pic because I didn't want a certain person to know who I was that's why I changed it. I could care less what a bunch of middle aged losers think about me. Go jerk off to more bdsm porn and convince yourself how fucking socio you are lolol you're pathetic

      Delete
    8. Again the conversation I was having on my google plus was too personal to leave a pic of me up. Why would I care what a bunch of people I've never met think? Maybe you want me to care ? I'm done with this conversation this site is full of insecure women and men who need a fucking dose of Zoloft and something to entertain them. Have fun I have a real life to live and quite frankly you people bore me.

      Delete
    9. Twice exclaiming how little you care then vacating the site in a huff only proves the opposite. Good job retard lolol.

      Delete
    10. "Hmmmm fake laughter? So I guess I don't care!" < This does not make sense.

      Delete
    11. @Traffic sounds like you have a crush on the little whore. How old are you 16? How do you know she left the site? Are you a fucking sociopathic clairvoyant?

      Delete
    12. @Traffic your need to fit in here does not make sense. you care way too much mate

      Delete
    13. @Traffic " exclaiming how little you care then vacating the site in a huff only proves the opposite. Good job retard lolol"

      "All the fake laughter you produce when trying to convince people that you don't care what they think doesn't alter the fact that you just mimicked her "lolol's"

      Again Traffic how old are you mate?

      Delete
    14. "Do you have crush on the little whore". I'm not the one leaping to her defence...

      Delete
    15. @Traffic "I'm not the one leaping to her defence..."

      Nobody leaped to anything mate, I am just floored by your lack of self esteem and constant attention your feeding this slag. Why?

      "Where'd your tits go?"

      Why do you care mate? Do you have tourettes or maybe OCD?

      Bottom line is if you really did not care about her or her tits you wouldn't even address her, but the mere fact that all she has to do is make one post just validates everything this little whore thinks in her small brain. Do better!

      Delete
    16. @Belladonna

      Why explain yourself? They won't understand because they don't even understand why they can't stop responding to you. Two wankers who are playing sociopath on a website where no one can see them but are too dense to understand what you're doing. Well, I see it slag. You can stop now. Your tits don't do anything for me and quite frankly that was pretty juvenile on your part as well dear.

      Delete
    17. Because I was trying to point out the delusions in his head but I guess that he is incapable of processing any information from me because of his obsession with my tits. I guess you scared him off lolol. Funny he can team up with his buddy and talk shit but now goes silent when you come around? Interesting...

      Delete
    18. @Belladonna You can't argue with the truth. You can deny it but the truth is still just that.

      Delete
    19. @Belladonna His own bigotries have compromised his rationale.

      Delete
    20. Her tits aren't my focus mate. The reasons behind her removing them as her profile pic and the reasons she had them on display in the first place are what interests me. If you knew the context better it would help but I'm not explaining it. Why am I feeding her attention? Because it's fun to point and laugh at her that's why. Don't see any harm in it... What's your excuse?

      Delete
    21. @Traffic

      "The reasons behind her removing them as her profile pic and the reasons she had them on display in the first place are what interests me."

      She just explained to you and me why she did. You keep insisting on her reasons are a lie. Why?

      "Why am I feeding her attention? Because it's fun to point and laugh at her that's why"

      Yes, and it is fun for her as well. I am trying to make you see but you are unable to. She is playing you mate. Rather well. I like to point out the fact you aren't as clever as you think you are and neither is she.

      Delete
    22. @Traffic The hatred you spew at a bitch who hadn't even acknowledged you before you starting throwing venom at her tells me everything I need to know about what kind of person you are. That goes against everything sociopathy is. You couldn't stand to let her talk because she's confident (even delusional) doesn't matter because it bothered you. I am 100% sure she laughed at your first attempt to piss her off or insult her. You can't see that?

      So a confident whore bothers you? Why? That is the real issue? Are you a slag yourself because from reading your posts on here it sure as fuck seems that way. The only reasons why a man would care as much as you and the other wanker on here would is as follows:

      1. you wanna fuck her
      2. her confidence reminds you of how little you have
      3. hatred for women
      4. she's confused you in some way and you're bothered by the fact she is unbothered by your insults.

      Delete
    23. @Traffic I have dated whores just like her don't fall for her bullshit.

      Delete
    24. @Traffic I went back and read her first post on this website and the first post you responded to was when she stood up for herself so you felt obliged to knock her down. How tacky and weak of you.

      "Traffic July 5, 2017 at 5:09 PM
      Yeah shut the fuck up Anonymous. The girl with her tits out in her avatar pic is clearly no attention seeker. Perish the thought."

      Who said she didn't want attention? Are you talking to yourself here? Are the voices too loud?

      Traffic July 5, 2017 at 6:09 PM
      That wasn't a comeback you obnoxious emo turd. It was the first time I've adressed you. Pay attention lol omg lmfao. what you just wrote was a comeback and it didn't make much sense because why would you have your set on display if you didn't want people on this site to look at it?"

      This gibberish in the second comment is sad, very sad. This sounds like something a 15 year old boy would say to a girl he fancied at school and rejected him. Who said she didn't want people to look at her profile pic? Obviously, she does if she made it her profile pic right? Unless you're fucking blind you will see it. So that question is redundant. You're giving her control and attention. Just what she wants. Validating her. Reminding her of the power she has to force an entire thread to be on her because of her physical attributes. Clever eh?

      Delete
    25. So because I've responded to her and called her a few names she's 'played me'? By that logic she's just played you too, mate. How does it feel being suckered by a woman yet again?... It's funny how you accuse me of being a misogynist when you're the one constantly using terms like 'slag' and 'bitch and 'whore' to refer to women. You say you learned everything you need to know about me because I attacked belle of the bat when I arrived. You did exactly the same though, "little whore" were your exact words(now that is venomous), so I guess everything you think you just learned about me you can apply to yourself. The reason I attacked Belle without provocative is because she disputed the fact that she is an attention seeker and I thought otherwise. I don't hate her at all. Not like you do. Clearly she illicits some rather painful memories for you. That's to bad mate, but If you've been burnt by manipulative women in the past then I'd say that's your fault for being a fucking sucker. Dry your eyes and get over it already... By the way I never claimed to be a sociopath. It's a possibility but I don't believe in self diagnosis.

      Delete
    26. Hahahaa! Anonymouse, you do realize that *you're* the one creating the bulk of this thread- even going so far as to research previous comments- just to white knight (and thus validate) a red-breasted titmouse, right?

      11 fucking posts of piss poor attempts at psychoanalysis... Yet you claim Traffic is reactive. XD

      I am 100% sure she laughed at your first attempt to piss her off or insult her. You can't see that?

      Oh, ffs. Do you actually think he cares whether or not she's laughing? I hope she is. If she were actually bothered, she'd get the hell out of dodge.

      You're clearly new to this game, but not too clever.

      Eh?

      Delete
    27. So....anonymous with the big gob...you're making an argument against the eloquent Traffic, your point being, that he's obsessional over Bell (just that is reason enough to, sling shit at your fence you twat) End, and you make your very hypocritical point, by obsessing over Traffics obsession with this self absorbed tit fest?
      You're arguement against him has unfortunately fizzled into "no she's not, you are, so there!" And you're drowning 'mate', for some reason, you're taking BellEnds fabulous (that's sarcasm Bell) one line comebacks and wonderfully excessive lolololollolololing as intellect, as her playing A and Traffic, when she's actually a fucking retard (screech Bell) with fuck all upstairs past we tits.
      Do you not see how no one cares about her tits, at all, but sometimes when you're teaching a dog tricks, you throw them a bone to keep them from throwing a bored lolol at you, mate.
      I actually quite like Traffic, I like the fact he called her out for her first display, and if you knew fuck all, mate, you'd see that her responses just open up a torrent of abuse in the boobied ladies general direction.
      A, Traffic and I have all had a good pop at her, but she's literally got fuck all to come back with, at all. But we get rapidly bored with her shit.

      Do you screech autistically too mate?
      Because you're not very like Bella, and her spasticity drives good folk from here, so at least if she's been driven away, we can tell you what a delusional mong you are, you delusional fucking mong

      Hey Vegas...no not back babes, just thought Bella had gone ;)

      Delete
    28. "All the fake laughter you produce when trying to convince people that you don't care what they think doesn't alter the fact that you just mimicked her "lolol's"

      Those quotation marks just flew right over your clever little head, didn't they? :D

      Delete
    29. Do you not see how no one cares about her tits, at all"

      Ding ding ding!

      Annnnnd we have a winner.

      It just ain't you, @mousie.

      You lost this round about 10 posts ago. XD

      Delete
    30. A, Traffic, and Swop are the same personJuly 25, 2017 at 10:06 AM

      LOLOLOL blah blah blah blah tits, blah blah blah blah, ding ding ding, blah blah blah hahahahaahahahahahahaa

      Delete
    31. Please. Swop is MUCH hairier than me. :D

      Delete
    32. Don't you fucking dare call A 'boy' you whore

      Vegas? Vaaaaaayyyyyyyyygaaaaaas???? ;)

      Delete
    33. Fuck Vegas.

      She's ancient history.

      Be on the lookout for her reincarnation. ;)

      Delete
  14. Oh and game of thrones bitches lolol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Started going downhill after season 3 in my opinion.

      Delete
    2. Why? Normally I don't last this long with a series but I'm actually still enjoying it

      Delete
    3. I just think that after the red wedding episode where the whole stark lannister conflict that had been fueling the shows narrative was brought to a head, the writers lost there way a bit and got lazy. There were numerous episodes in season 4 that were pure filler. Season 5 was just flat out bad. 6 was an improvement but still full of lazy writing. After all the fuss abour wether john snow is dead or not he's brought back in like the second episode in the most predictable way possible. Am I supposed to believe that Arya went away for a few months and returned as a supernatural master assassin? Her whole storyline has turned into a poorly hashed out revenge fantasy meant to pander to the audience. That epic battle scene was good to watch but ultimately ended with the predictable Hollywood here comes the cavalry chliche. Whatssherface who plays queen Dan also gets on my nerves. She's a terrible actress and her storyline has been handled poorly. Why the fuck have we been watching her conquer a subjugate all these random far awy places full of brown people only for none of it to turn out to have any real significance to the larger plot? Because the writers fucked up the pacing and had to come up with something to do with her before they could send her off to the mainland, that's why. And why the fuck are they wasting time on this romance sub plot between the unich warrior guy and the mixed raced girl from Hollyoaks? I don't get it... Whatever it's just a tv show I suppose I'll keep watching seeing as I've got this far.

      Delete
    4. Haha ok I agree with you about the queen and the romance I thought that was an awful thing to throw in lol. I mean first he has no cock and second you mean to tell me that this guy who's basically portrayed as some fuckinh robot just all of a sudden found love at first sight? Terrible everything else I'm still enjoying but also the whole ninja thing was far fetched too yeah I thought the same lol. The fight scenes are great and the vindictiveness of most of the characters I enjoy as well.

      Delete
    5. Lol-ee-pop: "Game of Thrones is da bomb, bitches"

      Traffic: "Meh"

      Lol-ee-pop: "Whaaa?"

      Traffic: various critiques + "Arya's whole storyline has turned into a poorly hashed out revenge fantasy meant to pander to the audience"

      Lol-ee-pop: "Haha yes, lol, you're right, lol, terrible everything except I like the battle porn and vindictiveness of the characters, lol.

      (See also:) The critique she just agreed with, regarding Arya's storyline being reduced to a vindictive revenge fantasy.)

      Lol.

      --> Cue Belladonna telling us all how much she doesn't care.

      So. What deflective strategy will you employ *this* time, Atrophic?

      Delete
    6. Oou, I know!

      Pick me, pick meee!!

      You'll lol, tell us how bored you are, and marvel about how much attention I'm paying to you- even though your tits are MIA.

      Speaking of which, did I mention your tits were MIA?

      :D

      Delete
    7. @A

      Yes, indeed you are in fact giving in to her need for attention and it's obvious she doesn't care but reveling in the fact you are feeding into her game. You are quite openly so interested in the exact thing that she uses to get attention. Do you think she cares about it being positive or negative attention? Are you that dense? Come on mate!!!

      Delete
    8. blah blah but reveling in the fact you are feeding into her game blah blah

      Uh, yeah.

      Way to be observant, genius.

      She's begging for abuse, because that is likely the only kind of attention she knows how to get. That much is obvious from the fact that she showed her tits to a bunch of strangers on a sociopath forum. Duh.

      Anyway, I'm happy to oblige. It's a reciprocal game. Isn't that right, Bella?

      I don't come here for the sparkling conversation, you know.


      Delete
    9. I really like GoT. I think the character development is fairly strong, in spite of the fact that the writers often resort to overplayed cliches, especially wherein the main players are concerned.

      That said, that they are even capable of provoking dislike or admiration in me is an accomplishment, because I am generally a very hard critic. I don't watch any other series, apart from Archer from time to time. Television bores me.

      I dislike Queen Danerys. I find her character to be insufferable. The overwrought acting accounts for part of my disdain; the rest comes from her overdramatic, sweeping entrances, and her self-righteous, cringey depiction of feminine strength. I don't want to see her ass on the throne.

      Her entourage is equally cringey and annoying, with the exception of the dwarf. I like him. Who wouldn't? He is the quintessential likeable character. Here we have another cliche.

      I like Circe. She is ever the requisite evil bitch. But her character has more depth and dimension than some of the others.

      Jon Snow is my favourite contender.
      Granted, he also is a cliche, and like a good little groupie, I admire his inherent nobility, and willingness to lead sacrifically.

      The show relies upon the development of strong archtypes. This accounts for much of its popular appeal.

      Arya was my favourite character, but I also was put off by the fact that it looks like they are going to reduce her to a judge's gavel.

      A close runner up for me is that old queen bitch, Oleanna Tyrell. She has a sharp, clever and devastating tongue, which I can certainly appreciate. But there are signs that she also appears to be getting honed as a tool with which to exact vengeance.

      I find revenge plots uninspiring, because they are predictable, and seek to capitalize on the emotional connection most people seem to form with these fictional characters. I can't relate to that at all. I have enough trouble bonding with real people. :P

      All that said, the battle porn is delish. :)






      Delete
    10. I am willing grant an exception to the opening scene of season 7 re: revenge plots, though. That was masterfully executed.

      Delete
    11. Typical male take [rolls eyes].
      In fairness, I can't pick a lot of fault just for the sakes of it, so I won't.
      But, if I may, your take on Anya as the gavel is, in my humble opinion at very least, off the mark. Arya is tied in to Nymeria, as Nyneria has become the leader of a roving pack of killers, Arya is taking her place as the leader of the faceless dudes. I don't like her herself, she just rubs me wrong, but her character I monumental. End scene of the lot will probably be her and Nymeria stood atop a cliff, looking over the devastation of Westeros (fire and shit, and ice! Lots of ice!), rub her fur a bit and skip off.
      Unless, obviously, Catelyn Stark walks in on Ned in the shower.
      But, this is a kinda possible really...if lil Bran can talk to Ned in the past, what's to say he doesn't tell him what'll happen and Ned averts and the whole thing never happens? Serious shit I know.

      *Cersei is gonna snuff it at Jamie's hands, I agree she's a multi faceted motherfcuker (shout out to trendy swearing BellEnd), she's shut off emotionally now, but her stumpy brother obsession will be the end of her.
      More than likely at Jamie's hands (hand).

      Jon Snow like, literally rules.
      He'd have very hairy kids.
      I can see the attraction for you.
      Fag.

      Goes without saying, keep an eye on Varys.
      Red Lord?

      It's all a bit too extensive and layered to be nutshelled as a revenge epic, but I get the pseudo Intellectual superficial synopsis.

      Delete
  15. Coming from a true sociopath, you don't seem like a sociopath

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should have a contest to see who's the biggest fuckwit in town.

      Delete
    2. Coming from a true sociopath, you don't seem like a sociopath.

      Yes, yes. You are the One True Sociopath. Let us all bow down before your superior sociopathic awesomeness.

      Because who better to deign who is a REAL "sociopath" than some anonymous fucktard on a blog?

      Do you have any fucking clue how many people have passed through here ober the years, spewing the same ego-gratifying shit?

      Psychopathy is a mental disorder, ya 'tard.

      Get over yourself.

      Delete
    3. Anon at july 24 4:38am here

      My initial response "Coming from a true sociopath, you don't seem like a sociopath" was towards the poster of the article because as a true sociopath we get into relationship to gain even if we do pair bond there would definitely be financial or sexual incentives to be gained. We love ourselves more than others and definitely wouldnt be heartbroken over a minute for "love". I dont know about other sociopaths but the sociopath of this article is either young or a low functioning one. As a true sociopaths we can live without love, even if there is its lowest on our priority besides other practical things like money or sex.

      And to anonymous at 25th july 11:46 pm, my initial post was just my thoughts after reading the article. I dont know how could you comprehend it as "ego gratifying" and be so pissed off to call someone a tard over the net lol. You are too emotional for your own good so you should learn to get over yourself or sociopaths you meet in your real life would eat you for breakfast ;)

      Delete
    4. You think I have to be "super pissed off" to call someone a 'tard on the web?

      Lol.

      Either you've been hiding out in your supersociopathic bat cave over the past decade, or you're totally fucking clueless. Welcome to the internet, dumbass.

      As a true sociopaths we can live without love

      Who hurt you to the point that you even feel the need to exclude love from within the realm of possibility within your life?

      Defensive much?

      Are you honestly so obtuse and dense as to confine a concept as sophisticated and multifacted as "love" to an emotional experience?

      I dont know how could you comprehend it as "ego gratifying"

      No, of course you don't "comprehend it." You are too busy trying too hard to be something you wish you were.

      Allow me to enlighten your stunted brain: it is ego gratifying because identifying as a socioapth is what you think makes you a special fucking snowflake. It provides a mechanism through which to elevate and value yourself, through the debasing and devaluing of others.

      You're a fucking textbook narc, moron.

      Allow me to be the first to inform you that this ain't your safespace.

      you should learn to get over yourself

      Apparently, you are not even astute enough to formulate your own deductions, without parroting the words of someone who verbally abuses you. You big bad psychopath, you. XD

      Or sociopaths you meet in your real life would eat you for breakfast ;)

      My father gouged someone's eye out with a broken beer bottle and spent almost a decade in prison for aggravated assault. Tell me again how a "real sociopath" would eat me for breakfast, you fucking wanker.

      Delete
    5. Anon at july 24 4:38am here

      To A:


      Lol you see a sociopath wouldnt bother much unless they have something to gain. As much as i like winning, theres isnt a point for me to convince you of anything for anything. I am sure true sociopaths can recognise one when they saw my posts above but they are probably too lazy to make a comment. This would be my last post towards you and i hope you will be enlightened. Its a dark world outside, looking at the way you are reacting if this is genuinely you in real life i hope you will change, we can see through the fear and weakness in you. You know whats scary about us sociopaths? friends you may have for over a decade might just be using you and you probably wouldnt know until you are discarded, all that feeling and bonding you thought was true was actually fake well you wouldnt understand until it happens to you so i am hoping you have a sociopathic friend that would do some damage to you and then you can come back and read my post again this time with more maturity. Tip to you; take life seriously and dont trust easily i can see you have feelings and empathy and believe in love and all that crap but it doesnt take a sociopath to do damage to people like you, greater malignant narcissist, BPD, etc can inflict more pain than a sociopath who is seeking to gain. Thanks for your compliment of me being a narc but i honestly hate using emotional manipulation(what a narc does) and i would rather manipulate situations and in this case i diddnt value you before devaluing so please make some sense before posting.

      Delete
    6. wait!!!! Wait!!!...let me get some popcorn...


      Ok, Go!

      Fuck you Vegas, Splitter!!!!!

      Delete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sociopath world? This looks like a gathering from the unemployment line you people are idiots. Oh, and where are these tits?

    ReplyDelete
  18. http://sociopath-community.com/ <-------- WTF a bunch of teenagers rebelling pretending to be sociopaths like on this fucking site. What a waste of my time reading these pathetic comments. Although, I am not surprised by this from the lack of maturity in the comments. Just because you paint your fingernails black, wear dark makeup, and listen to heavy metal doesn't make you a sociopath kiddos. Grow the fuck up before it's too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agreed until you said this "Just because you paint your fingernails black, wear dark makeup, and listen to heavy metal doesn't make you a sociopath kiddos. Grow the fuck up before it's too late." No, they just have other issues that they want to mask with this fancy term "sociopath". You probably haven't spent any time on this blog.

      Delete
    2. Actually, I have and the blog posts are some what of a good read but the comments are a bore. It doesn't seem like you can have any intellectual conversation with anyone on here. If any of these people are true sociopaths they must be of lower intelligence considering profile pics, and other comments bother them so much. Where is the high functioning sociopathic conversation? I came here because I am doing research and all I found was a bunch of kids playing out a fantasy.

      Delete
    3. @Belladonna come on whore you can do better darling.

      Delete
    4. ignoranceisnotblissJuly 25, 2017 at 10:09 AM

      Oh how clever ~rolls eyes~

      Delete
    5. I take a week off and everyone it's gone from the house.

      Delete
    6. @Alci I'm here ;)

      Delete
  19. Taking up for your boyfriend how cute lololol

    ReplyDelete
  20. Angry Anon. How bad did these past girlfriends you mentioned fuck you over to leave you with such a seething hatred of womankind? Perhaps we should talk about your mother too. I'm here for you when you're ready...

    ReplyDelete
  21. "Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
    John 15:13

    OP you are capable of a self-sacrificial love that is called Agape. It isn't a feeling---it is an action you combined with what little you felt. Thanks. One does not need to be an empath to be capable of this love. To give oneself selflessly for people they care for(important) is noble, honourable and true---and good. You proved to be a good person, OP, in your own way. This, though I am not like you in many ways, we can find common ground together. Having noble and good characteristics does not make you a less desirable human being, but one worth of honour, to be looked up to, and imitated as a role model. Thank you for being a role model for others, OP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't read OP's whole spiel, but I agree with this:

      OP you are capable of a self-sacrificial love that is called Agape. It isn't a feeling---it is an action you combined with what little you felt.

      Feelings are fleeting and inconstant. Actions are what matter.

      Delete

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