Friday, February 22, 2019

Texas and Louisiana next week

Reminder that I'll be in Southern/Southeastern Texas and Louisiana next week. Let me know if you want to meet up. 

7 comments:

  1. Does the olde hitsong Favorite Waste of Time (sung by Bette Midler) have sociopathic appeal?

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  2. On a few occasions, being preoccupied or tired or otherwise not in the mood, I've not bothered to stand up to a sociopath and instead distanced myself and observed what happens.

    So I would say over the years this has happened maybe four times: three with **-* and once with a character at work (this colleague told me he thought he had sociopathic traits and said his father was definitely sociopathic. Once he put a knife to my chest on client site and threatened me because I took control of the engagement. So working hypothesis is that he is sociopathic.)

    The results are consistent.

    In simply stepping back, the sociopathic person instantly assumes submission and charges headlong into prosecuting their agenda. This is an excellent method for obtaining information.

    I think most other people would be able to read that I have disengaged rather than submitted. Not the sociopath. All he sees is opportunity.

    "Always go too far because that's where you find the truth" or in this case "give them enough rope"...

    I don't submit.

    So we have a situation now in which he finds a way to make me lose when he gives me what I want and I have done the same to him. Another stalemate.

    But he also said I was "dangerous". He said that twice. Since In an in no way being dangerous, I take this to mean he recognises he is close to doing something dangerous himself.

    Judging by his earlier behaviour and by the behaviour of Knife Guy, I'm taking that warning pretty seriously.


    All this because he considered my asking very reasonably for things I wanted as "an extortion attempt". And maybe because I laughed at that description. In reality, he thinks he's lost control. He never had it. The difference is I'm using my language these days instead of his.

    I suggested we sail back to safe harbour now.

    A particularly helpful piece of advice ME quoted on Twitter was that de-escalation is the most productive part with sociopaths. I've always found that to be the case with **-*. If he thinks there's any threat at all, the claws are out and they stay out. After things settle, he tells me he's been a monster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another way of looking at the de-escalation dynamic is that he isn't able to create stability himself, but he can respond to it. In fact, he is usually quick to respond to it. I think he likes stability. I guess when you can't trust others, you can enjoy stability, but creating it is risky. Like driving fast on dirt, you always want the car to be in an attitude of readiness to slide. If someone tars the road for you, all good. For a bit.

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    2. He did respond to the suggestion of sailing back to safe harbour. He relaxed noticeably.

      Delete
  3. Larry was reported to SS. Larry is in big trouble!!!!! :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. More on animal deception: Ted Ed - Can Animals be Deceptive? - Eldridge Adams [VIDEO: 4m56s]

    Deception is defined as (a) misleading the receiver, (b) benefiting the receiver and (c) not accidental.

    It occurs mostly inter-species but there are intra-species examples.

    So, to my point: more evidence that lying is not "inherently sociopathic" but constitutes a survival strategy.

    ReplyDelete

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