Sunday, October 29, 2017

Why we don't change our mind

This was a pretty entertaining explanation of normal people's natural tendency to not change their mind (hardly ever), even (and particularly) in the face of incontrovertible evidence.


  1. 1st!! Whitey wins Again!!!

  2. Your brain loves consistency. It builds a worldview like we build a house.
    It has a foundation and a frame and windows and doors and it knows exactly how everything fits together.

    If a new piece is introduced and it doesn't fit, the whole house falls apart. Your brain protects you by rejecting that piece. It then builds a fence and a moat and refuses to let in any visitors.

    This is why we have the backfire effect. It's a biological way of protecting a worldview.

    This is a much cleaner way of describing my own message here.

    I vividly remember the experience of my "internal walls" being destroyed in encountering **-*. He was so different, so far removed from my conception of what a human could be like.

    That's what hurts, guys.

    It's really not so much any unfairness. It's the complete shock of having to account for a different mode of humanity. And most people can't do it. That's where you get the sociopath-hate and so on. It's the fence and moat.

    The time I spent here was in rebuilding my worldview to make sense of my experience. I didn't think **-* had intended the whole thing as a dastardly plot; that didn't actually fit with my experience. And it clearly just wasn't over between us. That intuition has proved correct and I'm glad I followed it and went through the process of trying to better understand. I don't need to write so much anymore because the new house has stabilised. It makes better sense of all types of people and I have a process for incorporating new information (although unlike the article, I don't imagine my amygdala to be my little toe 8|.

    As for **-*, he can be cold, he can be stubborn. I can be hot-headed and stubborn. His coldness can trigger my hot-headedness and my hot-headness triggers his stubbornness, which triggers my stubbornness. Yet we've learnt how to navigate this. I've learnt to say no to things I don't want even when everything seems to be at stake for me, and that's definitely a lesson I needed to learn. I'm very proud of that.

    I'm grateful this place supported my rebuilding process.

    And if I could offer any lessons to you guys in return, it's simply that your basic motivations aren't so different to ours and we don't act so differently, except that we like to collaborate because we're biologically rewarded for it. We expect collaboration and we're wired to trust. When we find you guys are different in this respect, it truly does tear down our belief system. But that's not an insurmountable problem... and if we teach the next generation to have more realistic beliefs about the diversity in our own species, there'll be less of this type of shock and just generally better social practices. I, for example, have learned from you guys to offer trust far more circumspectly. "Goodness" isn't a given with human behaviour, complex self-interest is. And that's ok, we can handle that. It's definitely better to be clear about it so we can learn to effectively negotiate.

  3. If someone can prove me wrong with actual facts I will change my mind. Rarely though do I ever attempt an argument unless I know I will win. I do love a good fencing though

  4. [tumbleweeds blow through SociopathWorld]

    You can't fence though pillock, you can sit on one, but you're well practised at straddling no doubt.

    You do make an excellent point though BellEnd, on a thread about people not changing their mind often (and particularly) when faced with incontrovertible evidence, what does the genius thinker BellEnd add from her salmon scented fence position?
    "If someone can prove me wrong with facts then I will change my mind"
    Outstanding BellEnd.
    You're such a sociopath

    Hey Vegas ;)

  5. Maybe, maybe not. It's my truth. How's your sub?

  6. Obviously she's horrendously worn out and deeply satisfied, she's grateful, prone to tearful outbursts of ecstatic happiness, and sore.
    I'll tell her you were asking, but I doubt she'll remember you.
    I still have your floppy knockers as my screensaver though, so I'll jog her memory by smashing her face into the laptop.
    Failing that, I'll gob two thick lumps of phlegm on the wall, wait for them to sag down a bit, point, and shout "fucking BellEnd?!" at her.
    What was that godawful teen "comedy" from back in the day? Oh yeah, SavedByTheBell. How is screech? (if screech threw itself out the appartment block window, I'm gonna feel real bad [honest like] for you) (hmm, or maybe not...every cloud like no?)

    God damn diggity Vegas will you answer your phone! ;)

  7. I would think after being absent from this forum for a few months you would have came up with different "insults". Oh well, a girl can only dream...~waves~ hi Vegas


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