Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Best ways to break it to someone you're a sociopath

A friend asked me today, "who else do you talk with so freely about being a sociopath?" As I started giving names I was surprised at how few there were: immediate family, select friends, only one person I'd dated (with mixed results), and a few other sociopaths I've met. All in all, the numbers are in the very low double digits. The rule seems to be not to tell a person I'm a sociopath unless there is some benefit to telling, and definitely not to tell a person if it would cause some some otherwise avoidable harm. Some of my very close friends don't know at all because it would disturb them, or because they wouldn't believe it.

The sociopath's ability to stay hidden, even to close friends and relatives, worries empaths. If you look at some of the more sensational literature regarding sociopaths, or even some of the tamer literature , you'll see the oft-invoked warning that sociopaths are all around us whether we realize it or not. Statistically, everyone should know at least one sociopath, although they probably would not be able to specifically identify who that person is.

Sociopaths stay hidden to avoid being the target of witch hunts. Some sociophobes have advocated isolating sociopaths on an island, like a leper colony or internment camp. Others have suggested that sociopaths simply be killed. Already in Great Britain authorities are giving sociopath criminals indefinite prison sentences just because they're sociopaths. The discriminatory actions and hate speech are frightening. “Passing” as normal is a very important survival skill for sociopaths, and most of us keep a low profile by necessity--and usually with success.

So that's why I don't tell everyone I meet that I'm a sociopath. But the thing I've been wondering about recently is, in case I do decide to tell someone, particularly someone I'm dating, *how* to tell someone you're a sociopath.

  1. I have a weak sense of empathy.
  2. I don't have a moral compass.
  3. I have difficulty conforming to social norms.
  4. My brain works differently.
  5. Shh, don't tell anyone, but i'm a sociopath.


  1. Say, "FEAR THE LORDS WHO ARE SECRET AMONG US!" Then give them a little wink.

    1. You know what I think we need to play the real game come together and benefit each other their are sociopaths every where and every body loves us and if they don't its because they want to be like us who wouldn't want the quality's we have I wouldnt change for nobody and we shouldn't Thiers tons of money out their and their are sociopaths every where from the streets to small businesses to the government so what I am saying let's just do it fight club the world but with sociopaths we're a different breed and we know it we're it and we could all help each other out I mean come on we are born leaders and we know it so what I am saying we should start are own little society and keep in contact nothing wrong with helping each other out nothing at all and just think of the money we could make money money money hit me up at have u a nice day at mail .com all words together

    2. You’re not a sociopath. You’re a narcissist at best. You’re flight of ideas aren’t characteristic of one.

  2. The way I did it was by taking control of the conversation in a group of people that I decided I was going to tell. I mentioned this breifly in a comment I left you a bit ago.

    It just started out as asking questions back and forth, then giving the obligatory "Whats your major?" question, of course followed by the, "Oh really? Thats pretty interesting, what made you pick that?" From there almost anyone will just start talking and talking, all you need to do is guide the direction of their answers with your questions. Eventually it worked into talking about psychological evaluations. 2 said they never thought much about anything being wrong and the other said she was diagnosed as bipolar when she was in her teens (now 27). So with everyone being honest I finally thrust upon them what I've been diagnosed with. They all said that they felt envious.

    I think back now that was stupid to do and I didn't really gain anything, at least not what I was hoping for. So if you ask me, just go for it. Keep in mind that your average empath will not even know what a sociopath is in detail. If they don't know what it is to be one then they won't be able to react negatively.

  3. I like option 1. Option 3 sounds like you resist conforming to social norms, which, while it is sometimes true, at other times you struggle to accomplish conforming. Maybe 3 would be better if you said "i have to make an effort to conform to social norms".

  4. 1. i have a weak sense of empathy. Lie
    2. i don't have a moral compass. Half truth/Twisted logic, some sociopaths do. Even read the book “In Cold Blood”?
    3. i have difficulty conforming to social norms. Half lie Half true
    4. my brain works differently. True
    5. shh, don't tell anyone, but i'm a sociopath. Some people you don’t have too. We already know.

  5. How do you tell someone you think they are a sociopath? I think my boyfriend is, or is it pointless in letting him know this.


  6. my grandma is the biggest sociopath

    she was raised in a convent with no toys. when she married she had 6kids. she was always mean to her them. my grandpa had to leave her because of it. my mom, my uncles, my aunt, & myself cant stand the woman . she is very racist & prejudice. she always says things that hurt peoples feelings. she always invites family over then does a 180 and turns into a paranoid/obsessive freak making every guest feel like they 'intruded'. she lives alone in a huge house. she cleans it all the time. and has this room just for her porcelin dolls, its weird trust me.

    i stopped speaking to her when i was 16. im 26 now and just got married. we just went to the courthouse & went wine tasting after. my grandma yelled at my mom saying 'poor samantha, her poor loser mexican boyfriend cant pay for a proper wedding'

    grrrr!! i hate my sociopath grandma!!!

  7. As mentioned in one of my earlier comments, I do not feel the need to tell anyone at all. The Internet provides a venue where I can express myself honestly without associating it with me personally in the real world, and I see no benefit in telling anyone else. The only time I tell anyone is once I've grown bored with some silly girl and want to inflict one more indignity on her before I leave and that is just for fun, not because I have to do it.

  8. The last one's kind of cute.

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  10. My Husband was diagnosed and told me he was a sociopath.
    We were married 7 years ago separated for 6 1/2 years. He stung me so bad in the worse way before he left. It took me 4 years to get back right, and now he's back. He came clean admitting he was a sociopath after he realized all his games could not work anymore. I showed him absolutely no emotion I would not entertain none of his tactics. I became emotionless. He got so angry tried to scare me by attempting to strangle me said he was gonna kill hisself.

  11. I told him I wasn't scared to die and when he was finished acting to get out.. I ignored him for a week or so, he then confessed and came clean asking me help him get help. Says he wants to be normal and he's so lonely.

    Is this another one of his sympathy tactics? Excuse writing textin from cell phone

    1. It doesn't really matter. You're a woman. Go find a new man if you don't like the one you're with right now. Through sex you should be able to find companionship. Look for someone that is good looking (to your standards) yet socially awkward enough that they can't have many other options. That will keep them faithful to you since you'll be their only source of companionship.

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  14. hello this will be very help full in my life its i never knew how to tell people

  15. I'm having difficulty with this myself. I've been told to consult my therapist about the issue, but I can't really bring myself to it. I have since realized I could possibly have a problem since coming to Christ. I just don't know how I would even bring it up at all in the first place.

  16. After a lot of research I have realized I am sociopath. My son and my husband are suffering because of me and I can't let them go even though I am detrimental to their survival. They are both really good people but I am a world-win of destruction to their survival. I am thinking of ways to leave them so they have the best way to survive without me. Does anyone else have this concern?

  17. I have come to realize I am sociopath. I need to communicate with others who are sociopaths. Where is the best place to communicate?

  18. Ever since I realized I was a psychopath, I haven't been shy about talking about it. I have found that I even like to arouse fear and disgust in some people when I tell them about it. And those who are not bothered by my peculiarity, I note as potentially pleasant people to spend time with.


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