Friday, September 14, 2018

How to Process Your Emotions

I thought this was a good, short video about how everyone has emotions that they don't process and how that is both influenced by societal expectations and has an ultimate affect on society:



It doesn't say anything terribly new, but this concept of having emotions that you don't even acknowledge as being emotions because they're happening at a level that you're not aware of is very much my traditional way of experiencing emotions.

It's not as if I was ever an emotionless void. But to the extent I did experience emotions, it's was if they were a conversation being had in another room -- or gossip about you that you're not aware of. I had physical or other symptoms (grouchiness). Like I would know that I felt tired or disinterested, but my awareness was more of my physical symptoms than being able to identify a specific source.

But even if I did have a greater awareness, I traditionally have not had the skills to process the emotion.

Through therapy I became more aware of and better at identifying my emotions, which solved the first problem. But then I had to (like everyone else) learn what to do with that knowledge. So I ended up with the same problem as everyone else in which I was experiencing general malaise, some generalized anxiety, and bad sleep because I had unacknowledged and unprocessed worries. Luckily once stuff starts affecting my sleep, I'm generally willing to do whatever it takes to figure out how to fix what's fixable. And in a way, as the video sort of alludes to at the end, although the way I lived my life was already following the philosophy of stoicism quite a bit, I became even more (via what I learned in therapy) an unintentional stoic. The key is this willingness to accept reality for what it is. Once that happens, I think most people are able to figure things out with just a little help maybe from a therapist or friend who sees things for how they truly are.  

44 comments:

  1. This is a useful bit of information. Thanks for the post!

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  2. I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. I really enjoyed reading this post. big fan, thank you!

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  3. An interesting myth, that sociopaths do not have emotions. Reality: they have far deeper emotions concerning things they care about than non-socios. So deep that socios should be careful when close relatives (they like) die so they don´t "implode with sorrow" (for their own ghastly loss). Few people believe that.

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    Replies
    1. Could be. I've seen it. But, bottom line... A rat is a rat is a rat. parasitic scourge.

      Delete
    2. Most virgoans are somehow programmed by nature to be good (some sort of "balance" to the Scorpio darkness). But when exeptions to this rule occurs, the result can be sly people from nightmares.

      Delete
    3. Exactly. We have emotions, but we feel them differently and for different reasons. Additionally, our emotions are separated from our rationale.

      Whitey and Anon @ 8:58 - Empaths can be just as evil, we just happen to be better at it. But don't think that all socios are evil just because of your negative experiences dealing with some individuals.

      Experiencing the death of a loved one is especially tragic to us. I can attest to despising and having a very difficult time with relationship shifts that are beyond my control. For instance, I can easily break up with someone I love and move on, but it's very difficult being broken up with. Contrary to empaths that I have observed to have a difficult time either way.

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    4. autistic people dont have emotions. thats why you should drown your child if you even have a suspicion he is on that spectrum.

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  4. Thank you for sharing this useful information, I will regularly follow your blog

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  5. Does the novel Assisted Living by Nikanor Teratologen seem "exotic" for reading sociopaths, a wild & feral yarn from a place far, far away..?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. seems more like something someone would read if they were fantasized on being the victim in such stories.

      Delete
  6. Have any of you guys watched Love Me If You Dare (Jeux D'enfants)?

    I loved it before I met **-* and watched it again when we started seeing each other. I rewatched it last week and think it's probably the very best depiction of psychopaths / sociopaths and their relationship driver: reward.

    French Trailer (better than the English version but no subtitles)

    Trailer in English (kitschy but what can you do)

    Car chase scene (spoilers)

    If you've seen this movie, I would be very interested to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

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    Replies
    1. i would totally go for that shite. rolling a fucking rubberband ball to make someone get into a high speed chase. let's fucking do it.

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    2. Like needles in strawberries.

      Psychopaths don't need skin in the game to feel the rush of victory, it seems. A cheated victory is sufficient; always take the space.

      #chessobservations

      Delete
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  8. Thanks for sharing this great. Keep sharing more useful and conspicuous stuff like this. Thank you so much

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  9. It's really interesting and cool to see your emotional growth! Emotions are extremely useful because they let you know where your boundaries lie, what things you're sensitive to, etc. Most people just don't know how to 1. cope with the emotions and 2. use the information, and some never learn at all. So it's nice to hear about others diving deeper into themselves to do this!

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  10. I love sociopaths. No matter what to do to them you don't feel bad.

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  11. Informative Post. Everyone has an emotion and depends on the situation it differ. Keep on sharing more useful posts.

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  12. No or little "me" inside them. But nature gave them narcissism instead. A vain emptiness. This likely is what makes the clever ones seem very intelligent: unclouded intellect without much "-I am so convinced about this or that"-stuff..

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  13. It's fearful to think about our emotion but the truth is that we don't actually know our emotion progress, we just explore it. Thanks you for shairng useful content.
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    ReplyDelete
  14. Interesting post! Most of the people don't know to process their emotions, but you gave great solution for that.

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  15. Replies
    1. trash. you might as well watch wwf wrestling at this point

      Delete
  16. Thanks for sharing.I hope you continue to have such quality articles to share with everyone! I believe there will be many people who share my views when they read this article from you.Those who come to read your article will find lots of helpful and informative tips.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  18. I do feel like I can see through peoples actions and motivations more clearly than others. I don’t think this because I innately see myself as better or more intelligent than others - but actually as I am often correct and many friends have told me that my advice has been valuable. I have predicted dangerous relationships as well as lasting ones. Guessed when actions were driven by insecurity. Been able to successfully gage when to forgive or cut someone off based on my interpretations of their behaviour. Its almost like an having a well-performing sense of instinct. For example, interpreting how someone places themselves and others in the world and knowing when to be weary - even if they are discussing a topic that seemingly could never shed light on these conclusions.

    However, most of the time these insights are used to provoke empathy, or lead to feelings of hurt or inadequacy. If I sense a friend behaved in an irrational way, but infer it was driven by insecurity, I would feel sorry for them and find it easy to help or forgive them. I would help a stranger at a bar and have carried home drunk strangers into my house and called them ambulances from there. I also doubt myself - from unrelated messages I try to infer the extent someone might truly like or value me. But in honesty, I dont mind people not liking me if I dislike them myself, or see nothing admirable in them. I know I have friends and have had lovers who I respect and value that love me for who I am. So who cares about the rest? This being said, I mostly find it extremely easy to get on with everyone and fit the mould to whoever I’m speaking to - this doesn’t usually entail lying, at worst it involves finding common ground and subsequently emphasising shared interests. Is this that abnormal?

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  19. I know I am empathetic and I am pretty certain its not for tactical reasons. But I can be selfish - I’m not the first to volunteer to clean up (unless I want things to be clean). If this visibly upset someone, I would immediately. My little sister used to wind me up all the time and I have screamed at her before and tried to say things that might hurt her. But I dont believe this comes from wanting to control her or an inability to take criticism. Its more like I can see that purposefully tried to wind me up, and thats what infuriated me. Whilst everybody else was sure she was an innocent young child, I knew she knew exactly what annoyed me and therefore tried to. People eating with their mouths open drives me crazy. And I find it hard to mindlessly accept peoples decisions when I believe a better choice could have been made. The same goes for peoples ideas and thoughts - especially those of my family. I cant help but argue or interrupt if I think what they are saying is wrong or they are drawing the wrong conclusions from what they are discussing. Especially when I am tired and have less willpower to resist. I think my mum thinks I am a narcissist for this reason. But I don’t think I am more intelligent than them. Its just when I can see when something is wrong I want to interrupt. I also don’t mind being challenged. Its like the world gets taken on face value for so many people and I love learning about why not to, and putting it into practice.

    I love psychology books. I feel like the most power over your emotions and life comes from knowing how it works. But this honestly has the most value to me in learning happiness, self-sufficiency, and living a life I wont regret. Generally, I do place a very high value on intelligence and hard work. I love talking to and looking up to intelligent people. I also can appreciate traits such as selflessness and compassion, as well as intelligence. Its just attractiveness I generally don’t feel is as important. I can appreciate beauty and although people are attracted to me now, I was not really attractive growing up. I think it bothered me then but now I dont really care or place much value on it, in others or myself. I like impressing people I am attracted to, but maybe it is me being a gay woman that has meant the attraction of anyone else means nothing to me. Why should it? Is this “normal”?

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  20. cont^^ I worry that much of my personality seems to overlap with sociopaths. And I do feel like an outsider sometimes and that no-one can understand the way my brain works. Ideas come from everywhere and I analyse everything constantly. I love sharing these with friends and love finding people who place the same value on dreaming and analysing the world. But I know I have empathy for others and I used to be kept up worrying about how the world could be so cruel and unjust. I feel the pain of others intensely. I feel intense guilt from the thought my actions might have led to someone else unhappiness. And would gladly take on their pain as my own instead. I doubt my abilities all the time and I feel like my success has often come from luck, networking, or me cheating by figuring out exactly what the examiner, colleague, boss, recruiter or judge wanted to see. I couldn’t understand how anyone else found it hard to write a CV… in a completely different discipline) and still got a First with 3 days of revision. But I dont think this is fearlessness or risk - I was pretty sure that amount of work was manageable and enough and didn’t have the willpower to do anymore.

    But I am also painfully aware of what I don’t know - I find politics boring and therefore my lack of absolute knowledge on the field prevents me from engaging in any discussion. I often want to know everything before I talk about anything. And I go through phases of being totally obsessed with a hobby or field of interest for a few weeks, wanting to know it all, then losing interest completely. I am ambitious and I want to do well in life. My primary concern is figuring out exactly what I’m interested in and focusing all my brain power into it.

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  21. Sorry for the rant - and maybe your cost-benefit analysis renders this too long to engage in ;) but any thoughts? My personality really seems to overlap with so much of M.E. Thomas as presented in the book. Is empathy just what mainly distinguishes us? Any idea why I seem to detect how people are driven and how they think? I know how to manipulate but generally - except when I feel hurt or detect injustice in a friendship or romantic relationships, or think a minor decision (like what to eat for dinner) is wrong and want the outcome changed - I would feel too much guilt to manipulate. I would feel the damage and destruction and it would keep me up at night. But then, even this could be behaving to suit my own ends. Is guilt avoidance a selfish act? Could I be a minor sociopath - with a code of ethics that, by chance, is similar to that of the majority of the society?

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    Replies
    1. "Could I be a minor sociopath - with a code of ethics that, by chance, is similar to that of the majority of the society?" No

      Delete
    2. Sociopaths are different from everyone. Just hang out on any of the sites you might find them, observe, and you'll see. Maybe you have another disorder? Or maybe you're just lonely and need a friend : /

      Delete
    3. if any part of me seriously believed I could be a socio I'd not be worried, I'd feel rather smug about it

      well, why not try and transgress for a little bit? See how it feels. Maybe you'll realise you have a taste or talent for it and realise you've been a wolf in sheep's clothing this whole time. Stranger things have happened

      Delete
    4. There is so much emphasis put on competition in our society. I think it absolutely taps into whatever primal fear we all have of being in a place of disadvantage.
      Einstein talked a lot about how competition distracts one from creativity. We must strike out on our own to ever truly experience our own capabilities. Damn the consequences.
      Fear of failure, fear of not knowing, of not understanding is not something only a sociopath or empath experiences. It is a universal fear of the unknown that keeps people in their place.
      An evolving mind isnt meant to ever have "a perfect life"
      Do the thing you are fearful of. What is the worst that could happen? We are all equipped with everything we need.

      Delete
    5. I've got a bit of the evil. Not trying to feed it tho. This whole behaving this is so boring : /

      Delete
    6. Hey where did the guy go with the psychopathic dragon tales?

      Delete

    7. There is so much emphasis put on competition in our society. I think it absolutely taps into whatever primal fear we all have of being in a place of disadvantage.
      Einstein talked a lot about how competition distracts one from creativity. We must strike out on our own to ever truly experience our own capabilities. Damn the consequences.
      Fear of failure, fear of not knowing, of not understanding is not something only a sociopath or empath experiences. It is a universal fear of the unknown that keeps people in their place.
      An evolving mind isnt meant to ever have "a perfect life"
      Do the thing you are fearful of. What is the worst that could happen? We are all equipped with everything we need.


      In the social contract, we enact a compromise of self as a bargain for safety as part of the collective.

      True creativity lies at the bounds of the social circle, the edges of the earth. We risk plummeting off the edge in order to gain new territory.

      Ostracisation is the consequence of deviation; the centre always holds.

      Which price do you choose?

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  24. تعمل شركة اللمسه في مكافحة الحشرات مثل النمل والصراصير وجميع انواع الحشرات بأبها الان ، وتعتبر شركة اللمسه من اشهر شركات مكافحة الحشرات في السعودية , لدينا عمالة مدربة ومتخصصة المواد المستخدمة فى مكافحة الحشرات غير ضارة على الانسان وليس لها روائح نعمل بدون مغادرة المنزل نعمل على راحة عملائنا .
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    شركة مكافحة حشرات بنجران
    شركة رش مبيدات بالعينه


    ReplyDelete
  25. هل تبحث عن شركة متخصصة فى خدمات التنظيف بالطائف بافضل المعدات والسوائل وثقة تمة فى العمل ودقة فى النتائج كل هذه المميزت توفرها شركة الخليج الشركة الافضل والامثل فى الخدمات المنزلية بالطائف وبما اننا الشركة الافضل والامثل بدون منافس سوف نسعى لتوفر افضل الخدمات باقل تكلفة وبقدر كبير من الاهتمام والدقة عزيزى اينما كنت فى اى منطقة ا وحى تابع لمدينة الطائف اتصل بنا وسوف نصلك فى الحال شركة الخليج للخدمات المنزلية شركة تنظيف منازل بالطائف
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    ReplyDelete
  26. "well, why not try and transgress for a little bit? See how it feels. Maybe you'll realise you have a taste or talent for it and realise you've been a wolf in sheep's clothing this whole time. Stranger things have happened" Here's a little extra help to assist you on your path. It was published on the site. http://www.sociopathworld.com/2014/09/a-comprehensive-beginners-guide-to.html

    ReplyDelete

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