I love this, from an anonymous reader:
The Empath's Cheat-Sheet for What a Sociopath Really MeansDoes anyone have a number 10?
1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor.
2. I'm sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal.
3. I'd do anything for you: I'd do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* ... It's just a body. See you later when you aren't being an emotional train-wreck.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven't had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable.
6. I love my family: They're mine.
7. That's simply shocking: You've touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now...
8. Deep down, I feel I'm a good person: I'm not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me?
9. I'm not a monster, I'm a human too: I'm trying to seem human, give me a break. It's not like this is particularly natural for me.
For more information, please visit our Web Community.
Heh, mostly. I like #6.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! This is great :)
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI am going to frame it!
LOL this is priceless, thank you!
ReplyDelete10. Why don't you just admit it. You like me. You like me because I tell you the truth I want you to hear. Don't fight it.
ReplyDelete10. Would I lie to you???
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one, aspie. :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can rephrase it:
I am just being honest: Hurting your feelings by saying the truth sometimes amuses me.
Here's another one:
I have feelings too: I feel frustrated when your feelings get in my way.
The last one could be:
ReplyDeleteI have feelings too: I feel frustrated when things don't go my way.
or:
I have feelings too: [..fill in blanks..] make me feel excited.
or simply:
I have feelings too: I often feel frustrated and sometimes I get really angry and lose my temper.
Ah yes, Arianne, good one also...
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't lie to you: I lie to you every time I say I wouldn't lie to you!
Another idea:
I understand how you feel: I don't understand your feelings, but I know them, I know them very well!
Guys, we're becoming quite an expert on sociopaths, don't you think? Surely we're way past the point of being immune to any sociopath, lol. We'll NEVER get taken! Hehe...
like children versions of us
DeleteI have a number 10, I wrote a whole mini-book based on my ex for my own therapy...How about, "You are so good at guessing what my expectations are." Or, "Though I may walk away while you are still talking to me, I always listen to what you are saying...though I don't hear you."
Deletewhat man do you know under the age of thirty, that doesnt cheat?
ReplyDeleteI respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because they're what makes you easy for me to manipulate.
ReplyDelete.....
Damn, that one was not nice! And obviously I don't mean it, but hey, it's supposed to be "brutally real", n'est-ce pas? ...
(...said Zhawq covering his back on the way out.)
- Ah, what the hell, think what you like!
Correction:
ReplyDeleteI respect your feelings: I appreciate your feelings because I use them to manipulate you.
I can't quite get the wording right. English is my second language, and it shows.
luv it old boy
DeleteZhawq you nailed it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFor a min I thought you were a socio.
For a minute there I was having flashbacks to my ex.
10. I hate bullies: they are such tactless amateurs.
ReplyDeleteOr
10. Ok, I think you make a good point: I'll have to include that consideration in my calculated persona that should lead to your complete destruction.
I vote for the second one as 10. I hear this all too often... T_T ha
Delete10. I like you: Please always be exactly where I need you to be when I need you for any given reason; don't bother me at any other time.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one!
DeleteAspie, today I like you better than I do myself. Consider it an honor.
ReplyDeleteI'll be guilty twice for posting this one though.
10. Don't ever blame me, NOTHING is my fault! ((and I'll explain why in the light which I've learned you understand best which will easily stretch to include you as guilty and disable you long enough to rebuild you...))
: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way". (Or forced to draw myself that way and I don't like it anymore, I'm outta here soon.)
10. Don't ever blame me, NOTHING is my fault! ((and I'll explain why in the light which I've learned you understand best which will easily stretch to include you as guilty and disable you long enough to rebuild you...))
ReplyDeleteThat one made me shudder!
Ammy:
ReplyDeleteSo you'd agree that item is pretty significant to be left out of the top 10?
I never meant to hurt you: mission accomplished!
ReplyDeletethis one is the winner, I think.
Delete10. I will never let you know that I'm a Freemason or a socialist, because then you'll know my big secret — that I'm a paedophile!
ReplyDeleteHeh-Heh, Medusa.
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteAw Medusa, you're not really a socialist are you?
ReplyDeleteLol, Medusa. Well played.
ReplyDeletewhat man do you know under the age of thirty, that doesnt cheat?
I've never cheated, Anon, despite being a male under 30. I've certainly facilitated other people's cheating, but I've never done it, myself.
PMS. Why not?
ReplyDeleteI've just never done it. I don't really see the point. What's there to gain?
ReplyDeleteHats off to you PM. I would explain it as I have never "wanted" to cheat, or wanted enough to consider the cost/loss. Naturally I have been cheated on.
ReplyDeletei loved anon's at 7.29.
ReplyDeleteNothing to gain I suppose, It's just a bit more interesting. I've only ever cheated once though.
ReplyDelete@Medusa you and Birddick are hilarious when you don't understand sarcasm!!!
ReplyDelete@Anon yes, that statement sums it up.
Ammy, you spelled Daniel's last name incorrectly.
ReplyDeletelol - these lists could be bullet points summarizing my relationship with a sociopath. I'm glad I can laugh at it now!
ReplyDelete- Jayne
Best post thus far.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know I did. It's his favorite thing to do.
ReplyDelete@Jayne, that's exactly how I feel. Nice to laugh about it but not very much fun while in a relationship with one.
#10. I'm thinking of getting my teaching credential (or joining the priesthood): I don't have the financial resources to build another "Neverland" to attract the kiddies.
ReplyDeleteWhat a trenchant commentary on the state of the world, Anon.~
ReplyDeleteAwww, my little Spammy, Whammy, Hammy!!! You know you luv it when Big Birdick plays with your… name.
ReplyDelete;-)
what do you lot think about those 'compensating' sociopaths who 'turn' to religion. surely it's antithetical to your obsession with all things logical?
ReplyDeletei mean, by doing so, you are hardly helping to eradicate fantastical dogmatic belief?
you spurn those who do, and then pretend to do it yourself. or is that just part of the game? in which case, i see you as no better nor more interesting than 'normals.'
B
#10. They had it coming: No, really. They had it coming.
ReplyDelete#10. What's wrong?: There's people around. Stop crying.
I've never seen a point in not cheating. I mean, I've never been caught so there's really nothing holding me back.
I've never seen a point in not cheating. I mean, I've never been caught so there's really nothing holding me back.
ReplyDeleteI still don't get it. What do you gain? What's the benefit? It seems like an unnecessary drama vector. Not to mention that maintaining two lovers necessitates nearly doubled expenditure of resources (tangible and intangible) for very little extra payoff, if any.
As a socio, one is not enough, just like we like to conquer the office, and the world, our partners will never satisfy that hole in our hearts. we could have one at a time, but that's just waisting time, it's not like we dont hope to find one person to fill that void, but really we need so much more... and the thrill of juggling (brings tingles down my spine) it starts with one delicate heart, then another, and sometimes more, sometimes you only drop one, sometimes you manage to catch them before you set them down, other times you can throw them back into the air and decide later if you will catch it, or throw it higher to see how hard it falls.
DeleteThe challenge, variety and of course the other persons uses, resources.
DeleteIf the person you're cheating with understands that you're only using them, it's really easy. There's very little work or time involved.
ReplyDeleteThe payoffs? Well, sex obviously. Often they're huge masochists (or become huge masochists) so there's that benefit. My current pet is basically addicted to me so he buys me things. That's a new benefit but I'm not complaining. He knows he's just temporary.
PoMo, I’m guessing it has to do with the thrill. I agree with you about the drama thing. I wouldn’t prefer it myself, but I can see how someone else can get hooked on duping delight and on the ‘excitement’ that would come with carrying on an illicit relationship. Or manipulating someone into betraying their professed values, like being monogamous for instance.
ReplyDeleteAnd as kanin said, can't forget the most obvious, sex.
Sex with one person gets boring quickly. If anything, it helps keep my actual relationships longer.
ReplyDeletekanin: Meh. Whatever works for you, I guess. Doesn't seem worth the effort, to me. If sex and presents are all you need, good on you. Neither hold anything but a vanishing interest for me... I think I'd get bored too fast to make it worthwhile. I prefer the long game, anyway. So many more pieces, so many more moves... thrilling.
ReplyDeleteDaniel: I figured as much. I was just curious about their reasoning. It comes down to differing sources of excitement, it seems. The people I've been with have been more than dramatic enough... I don't think I need the hassle of two for a bit of extra sex.
PostMod, for now it's all I need. I'm sure it'll change eventually.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't be any fun if it didn't. :D
ReplyDeleteI too understand what's easy and the concept of little-to-no effort, but I confess I am turned off almost completely when effort need not be applied. At least to a certain extent. Obviously I have my exceptions and I will agree with the bonuses that came from people who required humiliation as well as tinkering with their facade.
ReplyDeleteThe fun is in the chase, no?
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to actual relationships, I am more than willing to work for them and play. But temporary stuff, I'd rather not waste time.
ReplyDelete#10. You're beautiful/smart/amazing/hilarious/etc.: I know that this is exactly what you want to hear so I'm going to make it really convincing and you're going to eat it up.
ReplyDelete#10. You're beautiful/smart/amazing/hilarious/etc.:
ReplyDeleteI know I am, but what are you? Jealous?
I know that this is exactly what you want to hear so I'm going to make it really convincing and you're going to eat it up.
You think that is what I want to here, and you will get pissed off when I laugh at you for been such a try hard. lol
10. I really want us to work: For today.
ReplyDeleteGrace
10. I want this to work and I'm trying really hard today but tomorrow I'm gonna go back to doing me. This conversation never happened.
DeletePost,
ReplyDeleteSo you don't cheat because it's a hassle. That's a good reason though. What do you mean by the long game?
Grace
The long game being the usual manipulation of the people I know, but on a larger scale. It's less predictable, but it's more interesting. I like the feeling of being tested that it gives me.
ReplyDeleteI'll always be there for you: I want favors.
ReplyDeleteHad to cut the original #8 from the top 10 list, just didn't flow with the rest. All of your #10's are greatly amusing :)
ReplyDeleteI think a proper #10 belongs to anon @ 4:10. Although it is not necessarily insincere, it's spot on, and works damn well.
@Postmodern Sociopath: On Cheating
I... don't cheat, per se. I guess this has a lot to do with my general asexuality. I indulge upon seduction, and am a constant unobtrusive, charming flirt. I like to make women think that I'm interested in them both for looks and conversation, tone, body language, et cetera, but virtually never pursue it past this point, playing the shy guy. It actually kills several birds with one mother of a stone.
1. Seduction without Sex: No money lost, no drama, no baggage
2. Added sexual tension (on their part) when dealing with me
3. Possibilities of near-instant flings if I feel like it down the road.
4. Charm Practice (super important)
5. Reduced chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease
When it comes to the bedroom, I'm a master of foreplay. I can literally go on for hours. I like to hear them beg to have intercourse with me (and they often do), and this often frustrates women that I actually decide to have a relationship with. The act of sex is not terribly enticing or enjoyable for me. I'm either stuck with a partner that only wants the orgasm, or contrarily, cannot (~10-15% of them) and therefore, I derive about as much pleasure as a wank, except taking 30 minutes to an hour+. There's no emotional bond, no getting lost in the moment, no, whatever the hell it is empaths seem to really enjoy.
I understand the thrill of cheating, but, I consider it an unnecessary risk that conflicts with my overly rational and seemingly pragmatic view on life. I, of course, have things that conflict with this, but sex, namely cheating, is not one of them.
I've actually been cheated on once before, and my general lack of reaction irritated the hell out of my partner. I think she told me to try and get some sort of passive-aggressive pleasure from it, in hindsight. When I watched the episode of Dexter where he finds out about Rita and the neighbor, I had a good chuckle. It was fairly similar.
#10. Let me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.
ReplyDeleteW.R.
I don't think that's socios. I think that's more or less everybody that thinks they are better than someone at something.
DeleteLet me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of foreplay...lol
10. Even my bullshit tolerance has it's limits. Therefore:
ReplyDelete11. When it stops being fun, I disappear.
I'm bored: I'm bored.
ReplyDeleteI'm bored: I'm bored.
ReplyDeleteCorrection:
I'm bored: I'M BORED
Thanks ME for the blog and also to whoever came up with this little piece of gold. Had a good chuckle as my kind-of-sociopathic ex just told me that "she loves me and would do anything for me.." heheh...
ReplyDelete10. I did not mean for things to end this way: Catch you on the flipside....
M.R. said...
ReplyDelete#10. Let me help you with that: Get the hell out of my way so I can do it right.
Hah! This one speaks to me. Here is a variation...
10. Thank you: Don't help me, just get the hell out of my way.
And that last one is for Microsoft and their stupid new spam filter.
ReplyDelete10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this....boredom.
ReplyDelete@Zoe
ReplyDelete"10. Thank you: Don't help me, just get the hell out of my way."
People fail lol. This is great.
Agreed with W.R. and Zoe. I definitely operate this way. Total control freak. Though I try to be nice and patient with people, it's not always so easy.
ReplyDeleteno, it's not.
ReplyDeleteTheNotablePath said...
ReplyDeleteThere's no emotional bond, no getting lost in the moment, no, whatever the hell it is empaths seem to really enjoy.
path, you have to disengage mentally to be in the moment. try a couple of drinks first.
10. Yes, I'm sure: Fuck off. :)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDelete10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this....boredom.
Revision:
10. Oh dad, I am so sorry for ruining everyone's life. Take me away from this place....it is too easy to be bad.....I need the challenge I had living with you...you are the only one who can save me from this: I'm broke and need a place to crash.
Drinks don't help. Tried it already. Even when I'm drunk/high, I have a ridiculous amount of self-awareness and the calculating and analyzing never goes away.
ReplyDeleteNumber 10
ReplyDelete"OMG my new boyfriend is amazing!"
"I'm so happy for you."
("I will slit your wrists for you once he drops you like all the others. :)")
"I have a ridiculous amount of self-awareness and the calculating and analyzing never goes away."
ReplyDeleteI feel for you Notable. That's how I feel when I smoke pot. Luckily, it's easily solved by my not smoking pot.
has cookies might work better.... body stone.
ReplyDeleteZoe said...
ReplyDelete"has cookies might work better.... body stone."
Zoe, who were you responding to?
I think she meant hash cookies. So probably you.
ReplyDeleteOh, Hash. Yeah, I've smoked Hash and Hash Oil laced pot a number of times; just gives me more intense paranoia.
ReplyDeletelol, yes i meant hash. you have to eat it to get the body stone. more relaxing than mind stone.
ReplyDeleteactually meant you, post.
My body doesn't seem to react to stimulants very well, in general. Pot is boring and makes me feel helpless, booze makes me feel useless, inhalants make me feel stupid, yet just smart enough to realize I'm being stupid to the point of infuriation, and cigarettes don't chill me out very much and give me intense jitters.
ReplyDeleteI like feeling good with some help, but I don't think I could be a slave to any of them, even if I wanted to.
I think, I'll just stick with smokes/booze. They're cheap, everywhere, and legal.
Still doesn't help the whole sex deal, though. Is it bad that this really doesn't bother me? I think I'm omre bothered that you're bothered, frankly.
You're the only one who doesn't bore me: You're the only one who ran away before I destroyed you.
ReplyDeleteGold star. Absolutely #1.
DeleteDelusions of grandeur.
ReplyDeleteI hear that, Aerianne.
ReplyDeleteI'm bored.
Medusa said, "I'm bored." and I hear that.
ReplyDeleteTheNotablePath said...
ReplyDeleteStill doesn't help the whole sex deal, though. Is it bad that this really doesn't bother me? I think I'm omre bothered that you're bothered, frankly.
i'm not at all bothered. i thought you were bothered.
It'll be ok: you need to build up your emotional strength for my next strike
ReplyDelete10. Let's cuddle!: I don't want you to be able to see my face so I can stop crinkling my eyes when I look at you and I can drop the fake slight smile that I know makes you think that I'm enjoying our time together.
ReplyDelete-J
#10
ReplyDeleteI am a sociopath: I read websites about sociopaths, and am drawn by their dark 'power', but in reality I just like to hide the fact that I am a normal boring dolt who enjoys painting my internet self bigger than I really am.
You must be a true empath, not one of those boring "crystal power aura healing" types.
DeleteEither an empath, or you have some common sense. LOL
DeleteThanks a lot for the info. It's nice to know what Sociopath really means.
ReplyDeletebuy viagra
Is this where women go in-between the bad boys they date to vent their frustration?
ReplyDelete10 we are friends - i have taps on angela merkel and the rest of the world
ReplyDelete(a good enemy is better than a bad friend)
everyone is so moronic and satire is really the only way to get by however most people just let themselves be ripped to shreds on a day to day basis cause they are too stupid to catch the subtle/best humor. haha I'm not even out of college yet and I understand this. I literally have a blog that's actually funny where i make fun of most of the idiosyncrasies of people on a day to day basis ch ch check it out haha http://doresafterdark.tumblr.com/
ReplyDelete#10: I'm high functioning. You don't need to worry. = I'm high functioning, you'll never see me coming.
ReplyDeleteamen.
DeleteI will care and support you until I know your weakness and get bored of using them against you
Delete"Some other dude did it!"
ReplyDeleteWhy the pic of Hilary Clinton, is she a psychopath?
ReplyDeletei'm a butcher - torturing animals in my childhood is now my profession
ReplyDelete1. I love you: I am fond of your companionship and put you above most, but never above me. Consider it an honor. : Empath response: no one truly puts anyone above themselves, at least you realize it. Having you in my life is beyond an honor I love you, I adore you and worship the air you breath..
ReplyDelete2. I'm sorry, forgive me: I really do not enjoy the fact that your mood has altered. Please revert back to normal. : Empath response: acknowledging is enough. I don’t care if you feel remorse just show you value me sticking around. I prefer the verb of love to actionless words and emotion of it.
3. I'd do anything for you: I'd do plenty to keep you right where I want you to be. : Empath response: as long is you want me to be sharing your life and sucking every bit of wonderfulness out of life we can, I don’t mind.
4. My condolences for your loss: *crickets* ... It's just a body. See you later when you aren't being an emotional train-wreck. : Empath response: thanks for the clarification and reminder to not dwell in grieving.
5. S/he fills my heart with joy: I haven't had this much fun playing in a long time, and the sex is more than acceptable. : Empath response: you haven’t seen anything yet… Saving the best for when I now you deserve it…..
6. I love my family: They're mine. : Empath response: yes, they are… and always will be.
7. That's simply shocking: You've touched my morbid bone. No need to stop now... : Empath response: and pass the baby oil…
8. Deep down, I feel I'm a good person: I'm not in prison and I stopped abusing animals, mostly. What more can you possibly demand of me? : Empath response: Congrats on not being in prison, that’s almost a Nobel Prize (rolls eyes) . However, you fucking evil piece of shit leave those animals alone.
9. I'm not a monster, I'm a human too: I'm trying to seem human, give me a break. It's not like this is particularly natural for me. : Empath response: I'm not a monster, I'm a human too: I'm trying to seem human, give me a break. It's not like this is particularly natural for me.
10. ME says she has amazing tits: like moths to a flame…
Hshahahah
Delete10. You delve too much. I only kissed thta guy at the party becasue I felt like it. Whats the big deal?"
DeleteI wouldn't lie to you: If i thought you could tell
ReplyDeleteI have feelings too: Whenever its convenient
the first one made me laugh pretty good.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePlease come again: but visit another adress when you do.
I will never lie to you: I will never tell you anything I don't think you would fall for.
ReplyDelete#10- even if I cared about you, I would never tell you. I got game.
ReplyDeleteThe part about trying to seem human suggests that only empaths are human. That is arrogant.
ReplyDeleteEverything's fine : I hope you get hit by lightning, fall off a bridge, get raped by a dolphin and then eaten by crabs.
ReplyDeleteOh wait, that's women, not sociopaths.
Sociopaths are the ones that will spritz you with dolphin pheromones, then convince you that you'll enjoy holding a lightning rod on a bridge during a storm.
Witty ;)
DeleteI'm sorry - Shut the fuck up already
ReplyDelete- Your voice box would would prove more useful in the microwave
- Are we done here?
I will never lie to you: You will never know when I have lied unless it will benefit me in some way.
ReplyDeleteI want you to like me the way you want to like you; except I want to be number one but I think you'll still like being second as a "consulation" prize.
ReplyDelete#10. I don't do anything to you ..... really means ive done all I can do to you for now ill be back so you don't make a scene
ReplyDeleteI'd like a cheat sheet that explains what empaths really mean.. or are empaths all just sociopaths in denial?
ReplyDeleteWhile we are mercurial on the outside, they are so on the inside. Look for the emotion and ignore the words because that is what is really going on and only if it is useful in getting what you desire.
Delete"Empathy" is a joke. It is a product of mirror neurons, conditioning and, most of all, emotionalism. Watch them carefully and you will notice they can express great compassion one second and act with outstanding cruelty the next.
I have a number 10 for the empath Sociopath checklist:
ReplyDelete10. "You delve too much..I only kissed that guy at the party becasue I wanted to. It's no big deal."
10. I am just calling it the way I see it: I am well aware how offensive what I said is, in fact, I did it to get a rise out of you for my own amusement and now I am making you look like a weasel by presenting my own "authenticity".
ReplyDeletebeautyandthesociopath.com
ReplyDelete10.That is messed up : I'm loving this, tell me more
ReplyDelete11. I wouldn't do that : If I did and you found out, I'd have to kill you, or at least threaten or beat you into submission.Don't dare mess with my rep.
you read my mind
ReplyDeleteTell me about your life and deepest fears : I'll use them against you for manipulation later so you feel extremely low
ReplyDelete10. I'm single/I live by myself/its only me in that lonely house: I have 4 other girlfriends in cities within an hour or two hours drive. And none of you will ever learn of each other's existence.
ReplyDelete10. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. I'M THE VICTIM HERE: I have ripped your heart out of your body, stomped on it, and laughed as I told all of our mutual friends and family YOU were the crazy one who cheated/lied/stole……. Even though I know they are all bald face lies I am telling about you, I will stick to them even if my life was at stake.
10. What drew me to you, what makes you so attractive to me, is your kindness and how you truly care for and about others: You are the PERFECT pawn for my next game! I am SO going to get off destroying you!