This clever anecdote was send to me by a reader, originally appearing
here.
If you really want to know who you are, just ask yourself "Why am I doing this and what do I want out of it?"
If your answer is, "I don't know, does it matter?" you're a schizoid.
If your answer is, "I want to rule the world, or at least a portion of it," you're a psychopath.
If your answer is, "I am scared," you're an avoidant.
If your answer is, "I want attention...I want them to love me," you're a narcissist.
If your answer is different every three hours you're a borderline.
Personality disorders are only confusing when you think in terms of behavior. But any good psychologist knows, all behavior originates from thought. What is the overall theme of your thoughts? Simple.
This clever anecdote was send to me by a reader, originally appearing here.
This is pretty pretty, and in my experience accurate.
ReplyDeleteah . . . pretty 'funny', I mean.
ReplyDeleteHa, I got that Eric Lee guy banned from that site, then seeded the comments here with a prominent name from the ASPD forum, in case anybody searched. I wonder if you got any new readers from that?
ReplyDeleteThat was months ago, by the way.
ReplyDeletePretty funny.
ReplyDelete"Why am I doing this and what do I want out of it?".
Just for fun, taking THIS to mean here... to better understand myself, see what it feels like to have someone see through me (narcissistic? was going to hedge around that), and play.
Now that's funny! And like HL said, somewhat true too.
ReplyDeleteOh and Zoe, who sees thru you here?
ReplyDeleteHi Daniel, I just replied and my comment vanished so here I go again.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wrote was that no one see thru me here but me (Zoe me). I was playing around with the concept.
Words are dead things until we give them meaning and it's a bit like looking in the mirror, being willing to do so, and avoiding the narcissistic and delusional trips along the way, avoid turning it into a funhouse. writing is like meditating for me, theraputic. I like ME's posts. so for now I am here.
that's more or less it.
Zoe, January 14, 2010
Deleteso for now I am here.
The diagnostic criteria for Borderline fits me well, for the most part. I really don't mind being alone, though, nor am I suicidal. Most of the time, I'm happy with who I am, but I wish I could be more consistent.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, it's a pretty good fit.
*shrug*
I've suspected that for quite some time, though.
A subtype of the WHO's version:
ReplyDeleteF60.30 Impulsive type
At least three of the following must be present, one of which must be (2):
1. marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences;
2. marked tendency to quarrelsome behaviour and to conflicts with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticized;
3. liability to outbursts of anger or violence, with inability to control the resulting behavioural explosions;
4. difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward;
5. unstable and capricious mood.
Is that me? Could it be me?
Oh pretty please, tell me it is.
Pan you're just another attention seeking twerp who is unable to control his Internet dribbling. Why are here all the time? Stop dreaming up ever more exotic excuses (now you're borderline huh) why you haven't put your face in the wind. Pathetic, Peter.
ReplyDeleteEver more exotic excuses, eh? Wow, what was I last time? My memory must really be shit.
ReplyDelete“why am I doing this and what do I want out of it?
ReplyDeleteThe real truth, to find others like me. I don’t connect with most people, and I think the only reason I have close friends at all is due to the large amount of effort I put into finding people I relate to. I’m always looking. It’s become a habit. I will try almost anything once and am drawn to anything challenging or extreme. I’ve worked my way through a lot of friendships. Looking back, it was worth it. Compared to the alternative.
I am pretty good at reading people. The hard part has been learning not to, learning what was meant to be seen and what wasn’t. In an effort to not be misunderstood, or maybe to feel a connection, I would become them. It always felt wrong, disgusting somehow, to wear someone else’s skin like that, and was always a relief to get away afterward. It took a while but I can now be around others and hold my own, for the most part.
Being able to see through people is an advantage, but I think you risk becoming delusional to the point where you think you can control everyone, or that you must, that it’s your responsibility. If you have a sense of a real self, it’s lonely – it was the reference to this in one of ME’s posts that drew my attention. That resonates.
The fear of being discovered doesn’t. I just don’t get that. I feel that whatever I do, I can always undo. That’s a bit delusional, though, I guess.
I just realized today for the first time that the reason I find communicating online like this so terrifying is that it requires giving up that control. Here, I’m going in blind. I’m not used to that. Playing with metaphors, playing around, makes it easier, and is a way for me to feel things out. I always knew it was the fear that drew me, the need to get the better of it, but had no idea where it came from, what it was about. I can’t believe how slow I am sometimes.
I know, right?! I hate sinking into other people like that and it is such a relief to get away. I also agree about communicating online. The loss of control is alarming.
Delete
Delete"I am pretty good at reading people. The hard part has been learning not to, learning what was meant to be seen and what wasn’t."
"What was meant to be seen and what wasn't." I never want to know when someone is lying but there is always a click inside me which tells me something's off. It fucks with my head and makes me want to not trust and disengage. Because I dont want to always to keep pretending and believe what they say. I mean if they believe what they say, or they think they have to lie, who am I to call them on it and become "sensitive" and "paranoid" I dont want to be sensitive OR paranoid
Being able to see through people is an advantage, but I think you risk becoming delusional to the point where you think you can control everyone, or that you must, that it’s your responsibility. If you have a sense of a real self, it’s lonely – it was the reference to this in one of ME’s posts that drew my attention.
THis is how I feel when I am feeling a sense of self. Is lonely. I try to even go into flexible self mode, because I can, in order to separate and to enjoy. I have to play pretend, and this is also lonely, just lonely with other people around.
If you never want to know when someone is lying, does that mean you *want* to be a victim? You aren't supposed to want to trust someone who's lying to you. Just how are you controlling anyone if you're letting them deceive to you?
DeleteIf you're lonely, it means you aren't connecting, you know.
No. That's ridiculous. I dont want to be a victime
DeleteYou do not know what I'm saying. I am just trapped in my childhood drama here.
I connect. I connect fine. This intimacy fantasy I chase is wrapped up in some childhood wishes.
I associate intimacy with crying jag and being held. It feels wrong for adults in romances.
I lie to myself if i see their lying face with words like "it is ok i am not going anywhere."
You can see their eyes LOOKING at the door. Sometimes they stay sometimes they dont. In the moment of something like this crazy shit, almost everyone lies.
I cannot put on a childhood wish onto an adult with my fears.
look at your thoughts to know yourself, look at actions to know other people though...
ReplyDeletewhat do you mean by actions, Disney?
ReplyDeleteZoe
ReplyDeletePeople's actual behavior.
Well, I'm definitely a schizoid based on this-which is actually pretty accurate. I don't understand a lot of the things on this site because I tend to be remarkably apathetic (to the point where the sociopaths on this site actually seem overly emotional to me, lol). I find a lot of comments on here to be petty, over-analytical, and superfluous. I'm not very observant (of others or myself), so all the psychological games on here seem horribly pointless and I can't figure out why anyone would even care enough to manipulate someone. I don't have enough energy for that...but I do think the sociopath's is an interesting perspective (although somewhat obnoxious). I'm pretty unempathetic, but I feel absolutely no need to harm people (emotionally or otherwise) because of that...I don't think that logically follows from a lack of empathy. What I'm basically saying is: I don't understand even remotely the sociopath's motivations (or anyone else's for that matter, lol).
ReplyDeleteNot all sociopaths want to harm people, and not all empaths are harmless. But you get predators in both groups.
ReplyDeletelook at your thoughts to know yourself, look at actions to know other people though...
ReplyDeletei know them better when i can look in their eyes. or Disney, are you saying to look past that?
the pattern of my thoughts leaves comet trails of emotion.
Zoe
ReplyDeleteEyes can lie. The effect of people's actions on other people is an example of what I look at when judging people. Actions actions behavior behavior. ACTUAL behavior,;which can be hard to observe for most people. Look at people with great distance and upclose, when those pictures are very different ask yourself why.
And O above: ehm no point in manipulation?! If you dont get that you are bound to be used hard some day. lol. And it can be a game without harming other people to really.
Eyes can lie. The effect of people's actions on other people is an example of what I look at when judging people. Actions actions behavior behavior. ACTUAL behavior,;which can be hard to observe for most people. Look at people with great distance and upclose, when those pictures are very different ask yourself why.
ReplyDeleteOkay good point. I observe actions too, but I can’t always tell if something is off by pure observation. There is too much information there. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was only that it was, that something doesn’t add up. I’ve tested it out, ignored the intuition now and then, and it’s always been dead on. People get played because they see what they want to see. The times that I have been fooled, I’ve fooled myself because I wanted what I wanted what I wanted and no amount of logic could divert me.
But it’s still good to watch the eyes. Are they cold and fixed, deep mysterious pools, looking away, boring through you, or jumpy? Is what’s in them out of context? How does it make you feel? Is there something in them that flinches, ripples, or slithers away when you look back? And body language. Too close, too touchy, too far? Do they inhabit their body or live in their heads, carrying the rest around like some unfortunate luggage? And the voice. Playful, whiny, monotonous, or too smooth? Do the signals all add up or do some contradict?
When you have to interact with someone at work and don’t have a choice, all of that lets you know more about who you are dealing with and how best to approach things.
"The times that I have been fooled, I’ve fooled myself because I wanted what I wanted what I wanted and no amount of logic could divert me."
DeleteThis is me, Zoe.
Zoe
ReplyDelete"But it’s still good to watch the eyes. Are they cold and fixed, deep mysterious pools, looking away, boring through you, or jumpy? Is what’s in them out of context? How does it make you feel? Is there something in them that flinches, ripples, or slithers away when you look back"
Ok what does each of those described eyes tell you?
okay, without any other context, from my own personal experience:
ReplyDelete1. cold and fixed, angry, dull, no life, boring through you, not really seeing you – predatory narcissist or predatory sociopath though I’m betting narcissist
2. glassy, not cold, not looking right into you, no sparkle, looking inwards – probably narcissist
3. deep pools, maybe a ripple now and then of something below the surface, leaping out at you, intense, warm or cool, like you could fall into, looking right into your soul, something watching you – could be sociopath or sociopathic type (eyes of people I’ve dated, known, and a friend who once convinced someone he was the devil (they deserved it))
4. empty, abyss, swirling fog, pulling you in, like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and about to fall - schizophrenic (the ones I’ve met)
5. jumpy, flinches, something rippling or slithering – could be lying, hiding something or just nervous
6. warm, calm, not leaping out at you or hiding, you feel relaxed, at ease – probably ok, someone to get to know further
7. waves, glowing, excited, eager, begging, very alive, inviting – emotional types, could be okay or annoying
But I agree with you Disney, ultimately it's the actions that give people away.
1st (rerun)
ReplyDeletelook mom no EPO testosterone and growthhormone
Deleteno cycling for you yong man
DeleteLOLOL Anon @ 12:55, I dont know why but I found that to be pretty funny!
Delete:(
ReplyDeleteIf you really want to know who you are, just ask yourself "Why am I doing this and what do I want out of it?"
ReplyDeleteIf your answer is, "I don't know, does it matter?" you're a schizoid.
If your answer is, "I want to rule the world, or at least a portion of it," you're a psychopath.
If your answer is, "I am scared," you're an avoidant.
If your answer is, "I want attention...I want them to love me," you're a narcissist.
If your answer is different every three hours you're a borderline.
and if you want everything you are a megalomaniac
Does it even matter, bro?
Deletenext thing you gonna tell me this is just a place for trolls hang out
DeleteThe trolls are coming to visit the trollops? lol
DeleteLOL
DeleteSeriously, tho CNN saw childish behavior from Lance Armstrong during his interview. I guess N/SP can't possibly find trolls childish.
DeleteArmstrong is the Lehmann Brothers of sports.
Deletei'm2cute not to matter
ReplyDeleteZoe 9:48
ReplyDeleteGreat info!
I heard a joke about how a shrink can diagnose his patients
If the patient arrives early, he is an approval seeker. If he arrives on time, he is obsessive. If he arrives late, he is defiant.
thanks!
Deletethere is something to that joke. in general i'm late for work, always dead on time for meetings, and way early if i'm going some place unknown or new or some event i'm looking forward to whether it's work or not.
for me arriving early is a control thing and a necessary buffer for the unknown, arriving on time is obsessive (time is precious), and arriving late is when i'm comfortable, confident, when things are under control.
You should tell Mr Shrink that you'll be the one to set a time, just to get a reaction out of him.
DeleteSince you've got the cash, you'll be the one to call the shots.
Then you can give him a criteria of your own, based on his reaction.
Typical Narc humour.
DeleteEarly? You're clearly looking to win my approval.
On time? You must have been obsessing over me.
Late? Bitch.
Never mind that I'm a bit early because I want to get this over with.
DeleteNever mind that I'm on time because I've got to keep with my schedule.
Never mind that I'm late, because on my way in I accidentally stepped on your lazy cat and had the common courtesy of going back and donating it to a chinese restaurant.
hee hee
Deleteyeah early to get it over with. good one.
Deletealso, on time when ti will cost me money. :)
i was late because my make up had to be perfect.
DeleteFor you, you shallow fuck.
Don't worry, I say that to all the guys.
ha good one
DeleteLOL Monica! That was funny!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Sociopathworld!
:)
Good Morning Rich!!
ReplyDeleteI would love to see what more people got on your quiz. Zoe, have you taken it?
Good Morning Monica!!!
DeleteHere is the link to the "Dark Triad" test for people who havent taken it and want to...... The people who have already taken it have put there scores up on yesterdays page.
http://personality-testing.info/tests/DT.php
55% npd
Delete90% Machiavellianism
93% Psychopathy
did i win a free holliday in da big house?
Deletea little low on the Narcissism me thinks
DeleteAnonymousJanuary 19, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Delete55% npd
90% Machiavellianism
93% Psychopathy
This, to me, is someone who will manipulate to get his way. If that doesn't work, he will be ruthless and he doesn't care much what you think of him
endtroducing MADJOE
Deletebut i'm not a narc carcs are evil)
Deletei'm just cherming
16.7% Narcissism
Delete34.1% Machiavellianism
10.8% Psychopathy
Heh. I got:
Delete60.2% Narcissism
42.8% Machiavellianism
25.5% Psychopathy
These things are amusing, but the scope is so limited and answers must be squeezed into such small parameters that the outcomes are utterly meaningless.
that's a defensive narc for ya
Deletejust kidding hun
DeleteI already did the psychopathy test (the old one) on this website months ago, the results were 96,79% in primary psychopathy and 92,14% for secondary psychopathy.
DeleteThis one seem a bit better since it seperates the 3 "branches", here are my results :
85.8% Narcissism
85.0% Machiavellianism
97.5% Psychopathy
DeleteNarcissism
42.4
Machiavellianism
71.5
Psychopathy
62.2
Haven you are right. I had to go midline a LOT in this test. And if we are both borderline personality, and i say mine is mixed with narcissism and you say your is notsomuch, how is it possible you get the higher narc score and i get the higher mach and psycho?
DeleteMy feelings differ depending on the day. I may take again.
Must depends on anxiety, it's a trait that can be very present in narcissists while it's almost inexistant in psychopaths.
DeleteIf you're borderline, I guess that an anxiety difference would be enough to get you more toward narcissism or psychopathy.
oh. My anxiety is erratic too. *shrugs*
DeleteThere is a small glint of light, fueled by love( as is, always,the case) It is like the first crocus in spring. There is, always, joy when you are a child, as if the crocus bloomed, just for you or the chocolate covered graham was waiting for YOUR mouth, so you could melt the chocolate off, just right.
ReplyDeleteIf you are too sweet, the wolves devour you. If you are too sour, you make a prison, which you carry like a snail: it's home affixed to it's back. Maybe, that is the life riddle. How to maintain the small child with just enough prickles to ward off predators.
Very nice, Sofa. :)
DeleteSome game was played on you, where you were turned around so many times, a la pin the tail on the donkey, that you didn't know which end was up. You had a huge switch-er -roo. You were being spun to disorient you, but you are still spinning, waiting for someone to tell you where the fucking donkey's ass is, so you can pin the tail on it.
DeleteIt blows, but the fact is, you still can't figure out which way is straight and which is backwards. You need to go back to the game, let yourself be spun around. then scream, "NO MORE". I will find the fucking donkey tail with my own mind and my own hand" Then, stick the assholes with the pin, if they complain. You have to think that way. Thinking is believing.
Thank you, Anon. :) :)
DeleteVery true, and beautifully put, Sofa.
DeleteNew Theme Series
ReplyDeleteTheme for Rich the Uber Empath
DeleteThemes, you should tuck that in as one of your own themes, too.
Deletei'm 2 charming ot be ruthless)
ReplyDelete"If your answer is different every three hours you're a borderline. "
ReplyDeleteBahahahahaha. Excellent. And pretty true =)
Zoe January 14, 2010 at 8:31 PM
ReplyDelete... so for now I am here.
why is that funny and don't you funny bit this
DeleteBecause it sounds existential. You do not know why , it just is what it is, meaningless.
DeleteYet your voice is so very prominent here. It is just a funny dissonance. For me, anyway.
for now anyway
Deletenot existential but existential with a dash of ego on top that in retrospect makes it funny. or is that ego with a dash of existential? can't decide.
Deletebut thanks for the cushy
why do you say with a dash of ego?
Deletei got it now.
DeleteHere goes the idiot sociopath award:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cnn.com/2013/01/18/justice/michigan-crime-facebook/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
Going out GTA style.
DeleteI read that post a couple days ago, but it makes more sense now - this is the difference between descriptive psychiatry and dynamic psychiatry. Based on behavior, I could be labeled as one of several different diagnosis depending on the bias of the clinician, and that's neither encouraging nor helpful.
ReplyDeleteI liked this, in the first paragraph, "Ya, you should avoid labels altogether... To be honest, you don't need to ask people to confirm whether or not you are different or how you are different and what category you fall under. I mean, if you can't form relationships with people, or you can but you couldn't care less whether they dissolved or not, then you probably got a personality disorder of some sort; not a big deal."
They say that the only treatment for psychopathy / sociopathy is the school of hard knocks, but I can't find anywhere a description of what 'improvement' looks like. If over time you could divorce yourself from an obsession with power, you still wouldn't be neurotypical - so would you present like someone with schizoid then? I guess if the definitions don't matter you would just deal with things that seemed like problems as they come, but it would be nice to have a roadmap.
Thanks for another good post, M.E.
MONEECA EES GOEENG TO MARRY MEE TEEEHEEEE
ReplyDeleteTEEHEE
MARREEGE TEEHEEE
ReplyDeleteMONEECA EES PWEGNANT WITH MAH BABEES TEEHEE
TEEHEE
ReplyDeleteFTEEHEE
BABEES
you know you are a psychopath if you are to charming to be a badass
ReplyDeleteuh oh :O
DeleteToo charming to be a badass? Psh! No such thing!
DeleteYou have to take your own death sentence and throw it out the window. Why were you, really, killing yourself, again? You better go back to that place where you had some sense. It is under that huge pile of leaves, way at the bottom. Have you ever raked a pile of leaves? At the very bottom, the leaves are wet and limp. Sink to the bottom and get the funkiest ones. All leaves matter, even the squished ones which have become akin to mush. Even a bruised leaf is a leaf. It's story may be the one the world needs to hear, or one person, at the very least.
ReplyDeletevery blog
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