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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The meaning of life (part 1)

A reader asked:

Hey dude, you know what would be interesting? An article about how sociopaths deal with boredom. What is boredom for a sociopath, why is it that it is so hard to deal with it and what do we do to not get bored. I am also curious about it. Thing is i am scared of the emptiness within myself. it's like when i was younger i used to have all these feelings that managed to keep me from getting bored by myself, you know, i had a way to meditate. but now whenever i am alone all i can sense is an empty space and for some reason i feel scared about it. it's like if i don't hold tight onto something i might fall into emptiness and never come back, dunno exactly. anyway, it's that emptiness that i want to know more about and how to deal with it.
Good question. I address this issue a little bit in this post. I was sort of made fun of for it in the comments of this post.

The human psyche really is so fragile. We lie to ourselves all the time about our existence and the meaning of our existence, like my recent post about free won't. Ignorance really is bliss in a lot of ways, but no matter how we try, we end up catching glimpses of the meaningless of life. I don't know why, really, but your question reminded me of Clive Wearing, a former musicologist, now the most severe form of amnesia ever documented. Every minute or so, he forgets absolutely everything and experiences a feeling of being born ex nihilo -- as if he never existed before, but now suddenly he does. He keeps a journal in which he writes over and over again, "I'm awake! For the very first time!" "I'm alive! For the first time!" "This is the first moment of my consciousness!" I think about him sometimes and wonder whether his life is horrible or wonderful.

What do you think about the subject?
I read the post and i think you are kinda right. That's how i feel, like living in a foreign country, gazing at the view but not being able to make any real interaction with the environment. I have been recently diagnosed with immature behaviour by a psychiatrist because i can't really make real progress in getting more mature, and i have to because i just dropped out of college because i was getting bored. Now i have to start all over again cause i don't want to skip college. I think it's true what you say about our meaningless existence also. I keep lying myself with fantasies about me being some kind of "chosen to do great" like that harry potter thing you talked about but i can see through the fog i create that i could also be a looser like everyone else. The "bad" thing is that realizing that i am just like everyone else doesn't change me. It's like i can't accept it willingly. I go on doing what i do and i feel kinda bad cause my psyche doesn't want to stop playing and realize that it has to get it's ass to work. Guess this unchangeable emptiness is something i have to get used to and work myself off to start doing some actual work. Guess this is why i reminded you of that amnesia guy. No matter what i do i can't change my perception upon life. I am still a kid even though i am 19.

About what you asked, i think he is having a good life feeling the beginning of his existence all the time like that. If he doesn't remember and the thrill keeps coming and coming i think he lives kinda happy all the time. Even though if someone explained to him his condition from a to the z, i think he would be kinda sad but not for long, right? Reminds me of the movie "First 50 dates" with adam sandler. If the people around him keep his illusion alive he doesn't have any reason for which to be unhappy and i guess that is all that matters. Sure, he won't do anything with his life being stuck in that loop hole but for him it doesn't matter, right? If i get to think of it he could be unhappy if he realized at the end of the loop that he is loosing his memory. That would be a moment of unhappiness, which would only make his existence pitiful but not horrible. Is pity a feeling a sociopath would feel? Hm...

19 comments:

  1. First... There's no meaning at all to life, so just do whatever you want, and use that as your excuse

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  2. thats a stupid comment to make,if some of us did whatever we wanted and dont play by the "RULES",there would be consequences....REMEMBER WE ARE SOCIOPATHS.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Anon is right, You must take into consideration your own survival. If we don't take control of our emotions, little as they may be, if we just did "whatever the hell we wanted", there WOULD be consequences. You always have to plan out every single consequence, then choose the path that has the least, and suits your fancy the most. Otherwise, have fun examining other people. They interest me enough. It's fun to me, just seeing them struggle so hard just to be normal, when they know they're all just as broken as I. In fact, (from what I've seen), everyone has sociopathic tendencies.

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    2. Tendencies yes, think and act like us? No. I myself act and manipulate myself through everyday life, no one knows i'm a sociopath because, to me, if I ever told them then the game would be over. I play a different role for different people just to keep things interesting.

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  3. Lolz, U R rly hangin on teh sociopath stuff

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  4. What impresses me about some of the young people I know, especially my half sister, is how well they can express themselves even if they are dealing with uncertainty about themselves.

    Sometimes we have to accept that life isn't about excitement and always being stimulated. Sometimes life is boring, sociopath or not, and we just have to move forward anyway and then things can happen. But somehow this sounds like a low grade depression. Even though sociopaths get bored, I'm not one btw, they have to conform to some extend and that means working, school and responsibilities in general. Unless they are complete slackers. If that's the case then maybe that's why they're bored.

    Grace

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  5. Hey, wondering to everybody else that read the 72 comments post : If I'm not a sociopath, what am I ?

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  6. REMEMBER WE ARE HUMAN. Don't play by the rules and we get punished. There are always consequences. Ask any saint.

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  7. There would be no rule if it wasn't for the saints

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  8. i do not beleve in god, karma, or the supernatural in any way shape or form. but..... i do beleve that life has what some would call 'meanig'. life is just a chemical reaction that is vaugely more complicated than all the other ones. unlike the other ones it has the abliity to replicate. it will use its suroundings to create more of its self. so we are created by previous chemical reactions, to make more of the chemical we call life. so to a extent we have been 'put' here to make more. some would call that meaning, although this 'meaning' we have been given does not really matter, and as a sociopath i see no logical reson to obey this 'meaning' and will often ignore it. mabey it is the sociopaths ablilitly to ignore this, and thus have greater free will than an empath, that makes him above (or feel he is above?) a normal person. normal people are just chemical reacions, no diffrent from any other, but a sociopath can be more.

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    Replies
    1. "but a sociopath can be more"

      and what can the sociopath achieve?

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  9. normal people are controled by a strict and pointless moral code that they are unable to break. sociopaths do not have this and can achive a wider range of things than an empath. this might make us better, or i may just beleve this so i can feel better, im not sure and an not really bothered.

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  12. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to get caught or lose money so I dont take big risks. Virtual gaming is becoming boring too.

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  13. Actually the same things I think are retarded and meaningless the empaths do are things I need to be free of my boredom. Except I need something that I think has some importance.

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