In Mormon world there is a woman who is Mormon-famous, largely as a blogger. She was involved in a plane crash and suffered extensive burns all over her face and body, along with her husband who was not quite as badly hurt. She relates her emotions at the time of waking from her coma to see herself for the first time post-accident as feeling like she wanted to just die, that she never wanted her children to see her that way. She later has a change of heart and became sort of an advocate and a promoter of self acceptance, among other things. Tonight I was thinking of what a drastic change that was -- from not wanting even your own children to see you, to being photographed and viewed by millions. And despite no longer being attractive by society's standards, she is widely accepted, loved, and viewed as brave, and I'm sure rightly so.
I was thinking about my own experiences with religious or other morally driven types who have read my book and responded to me about it. Largely (as I expected from this turn-the-other-cheek crowd) Mormons tend to be amazingly supportive. But there were a few who were not, including one person that I knew personally who put it to me a little this way -- it's not the things I've done that were so problematic morally (which are, after all, relatively tame compared to the sorts of sinners that churches routinely welcome in their doors), but how I feel about those things, e.g. lack of remorse. Of course, lack of remorse happens to be a symptom of my personality disorder. Which begs the question -- in what ways am I responsible for my lack of remorse (that resulted from genetics and my disrupted childhood, neither of which I had any control over)? Under what philosophical or moral standard does that make me a morally objectionable person? How am I not like the burn victim -- ugly or distasteful society's standards, but allowed to not feel shame or self-hate about my psychological disfigurement because I suffer it through no fault of my own.
Along the same lines, this recent comment on an older post:
Hello human race. I have an unpopular opinion to share;
Psychopaths/sociopaths are either genetic, or made via extreme trauma before the age of 3 yrs, or both! In both cases, these people have no control. They don't choose this.
I present the solution: Star Trek's Data's emotion chip. Psychopath/sociopath has complete control at all times, can choose to remove it whenever they wish, dial it up or down, or off.
How to get them to do it? Present it as a dare, a challenge. Therapists to help them with the transition. Problem over.
They are still people. A monster is a victim who got no help when they needed it, that's why they're monsters now. They had no choice, no control.
Offer it to them, then. If we empaths are so much better than them, prove it. Don't hate them. Help them.
I was thinking about my own experiences with religious or other morally driven types who have read my book and responded to me about it. Largely (as I expected from this turn-the-other-cheek crowd) Mormons tend to be amazingly supportive. But there were a few who were not, including one person that I knew personally who put it to me a little this way -- it's not the things I've done that were so problematic morally (which are, after all, relatively tame compared to the sorts of sinners that churches routinely welcome in their doors), but how I feel about those things, e.g. lack of remorse. Of course, lack of remorse happens to be a symptom of my personality disorder. Which begs the question -- in what ways am I responsible for my lack of remorse (that resulted from genetics and my disrupted childhood, neither of which I had any control over)? Under what philosophical or moral standard does that make me a morally objectionable person? How am I not like the burn victim -- ugly or distasteful society's standards, but allowed to not feel shame or self-hate about my psychological disfigurement because I suffer it through no fault of my own.
Along the same lines, this recent comment on an older post:
Hello human race. I have an unpopular opinion to share;
Psychopaths/sociopaths are either genetic, or made via extreme trauma before the age of 3 yrs, or both! In both cases, these people have no control. They don't choose this.
I present the solution: Star Trek's Data's emotion chip. Psychopath/sociopath has complete control at all times, can choose to remove it whenever they wish, dial it up or down, or off.
How to get them to do it? Present it as a dare, a challenge. Therapists to help them with the transition. Problem over.
They are still people. A monster is a victim who got no help when they needed it, that's why they're monsters now. They had no choice, no control.
Offer it to them, then. If we empaths are so much better than them, prove it. Don't hate them. Help them.