File this under the heading of good things to show young budding sociopaths or children with other anti-social personalities (aspies? autistics?), Sofia tries to teach her witch friend that she can use her powers for good rather than evil and that it is in her best interest to do so (also good brainwashing about victims giving people a second change despite their fears and reluctance to trust):
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Seeing people for what they are
“These people who can see right through you never quite do you justice, because they never give you credit for the effort you're making to be better than you actually are, which is difficult and well meant and deserving of some little notice.”
― Marilynne Robinson, Gilead
― Marilynne Robinson, Gilead
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Anti-psychopath non profit?
From a reader:
I came across this post: https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?34015-Non-Profit-For-Spreading-Psychopathy-Awareness-Around-The-World
This made me wonder whether a tax-exempt "charitable" organization could have a questionably discriminatory purpose, such as freeing the world of psychopaths. I don't know, but I highly suspect that a non-profit dedicated to denigrating people suffering from other mental health problems would not be deemed to be sufficiently charitable.
I thought it was worth pointing out. I am curious whether there is a mechanism to object to a (c)(3) application.
I came across this post: https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?34015-Non-Profit-For-Spreading-Psychopathy-Awareness-Around-The-World
This made me wonder whether a tax-exempt "charitable" organization could have a questionably discriminatory purpose, such as freeing the world of psychopaths. I don't know, but I highly suspect that a non-profit dedicated to denigrating people suffering from other mental health problems would not be deemed to be sufficiently charitable.
I thought it was worth pointing out. I am curious whether there is a mechanism to object to a (c)(3) application.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Monetary incentives
From a self-identified narcissist who has sociopathic leanings:
I'm mentioning this to you because it illustrates your point about sociopaths and incentives.
I've been in a few long-term relationships with women. In the beginning, I'm on my best behavior, because I'm trying to seduce them and get them to want to give me whatever I want. After I sense that the woman is hooked, I'll start doing unfortunate and disgraceful things, like not showering regularly, showing up late, farting in her presence or pissing in the kitchen sink (if she's using the toilet).
This can get to be quite unfortunate, because I don't necessarily want to do the bad habits, but my impulsiveness gets the best of me, so I'll keep doing them anyway. Often the woman nags me, which is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing; it doesn't work and annoys me. She just gets more and more irritated.
Monetary fines work - and they work wonders. E.g. $5/fart. That is, if I fart and she calls me on it, have to hand over $5 in cash.
I've done this with a few women. They think it is crazy when I bring it up. Then they think it is funny. Later on they are just happy about the results.
I'm mentioning this to you because it illustrates your point about sociopaths and incentives.
I've been in a few long-term relationships with women. In the beginning, I'm on my best behavior, because I'm trying to seduce them and get them to want to give me whatever I want. After I sense that the woman is hooked, I'll start doing unfortunate and disgraceful things, like not showering regularly, showing up late, farting in her presence or pissing in the kitchen sink (if she's using the toilet).
This can get to be quite unfortunate, because I don't necessarily want to do the bad habits, but my impulsiveness gets the best of me, so I'll keep doing them anyway. Often the woman nags me, which is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing; it doesn't work and annoys me. She just gets more and more irritated.
Monetary fines work - and they work wonders. E.g. $5/fart. That is, if I fart and she calls me on it, have to hand over $5 in cash.
I've done this with a few women. They think it is crazy when I bring it up. Then they think it is funny. Later on they are just happy about the results.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
More parenting a sociopathic son
It's interesting what assumptions we make about people (and even ourselves?) about their/our unspoken motivations for things. One of the weirdest conversations I've had with someone about any sociopathic acts was with the attorney for my publisher after manuscript was submitted. We went through various stories in the book that would lead to potential liability for the publisher. I forget why, but somehow we were talking about the first story about killing the opossum. He said that was vicious. I said something about how I was just eliminating a pest the same way someone might smash a spider. He corrected me, saying that I obviously relished the killing and that was my primary reason for doing it. Hm... It's hard to know what to say to something like that. On the one hand, it's possible that that is true and that I am deeply out of touch with my own motivations on that point (or all points), but I don't think so. And even if I were, for him to think that he has such levels of insight to determine that I am an animal sadist (or any kind of sadist) from one story consisting of several paragraphs seems to me a weird sort of confidence in one's capacity for discernment. I used to think I had crazy people reading skills and now either I've lost them or maybe I've come to distinguish better the difference between being able to see one small angle of a person that is hidden to most eyes versus truly being able to understand another person not myself. Because I really don't think the latter is even possible, anymore (if I ever thought it was). I don't know if that makes me more hopeful that neurodiversity principles will eventually triumph, or less.
An update from the mother who was meeting her sociopathic son halfway, from a comment from that post:
I have had conversations with my son and come to realize that his feeding lizards to the dog and such was actually not motivated by sadistic tendencies, nor was his treatment of other children. For example, with the lizards, the dog was chasing them in a playful manner. My son just thought he was expediting the process... Cutting to the chase, so to speak. He didn't enjoy it. He just didn't care, thought the chasing of the lizard was fun and didn't know what to do with it when he caught it so he fed it to the dog, who had been chasing it... To his mind, it simply made sense. The fights with his brother and other children were not sadism either but, rather, a violent response to a perceived injustice most of the time or instrumental violence that served some purpose to him. That has been a great relief to me.
To those who have suggested a firmer hand, you are correct. I have been holding firmer on rules, regulations, and punishments. It has made a big difference in his behavior. No more sob stories or pouty faces to escape the punishment (or absence of reward).
We have been having a lot of fun together... And just having someone who is trying to understand him seems as though it has relieved him, like he doesn't have to hide ALL the time. Framing things as games has probably had the biggest effect. "You are an alien sent from another planet to observe humans and today, your objective is..." It takes the tediousness of normal social interaction and makes it something fun and intellectually engaging... With just the hint of deception/conning.
Everyone's thoughts on being explicit on things that we assume are "givens" has helped as well. I have also worked with him on understanding and mirroring facial expressions and done exercises to help him develop cognitive empathy and be aware of it...
I have worked on finding decent role models that are interesting to a nearly ten year old boy but also age appropriate... Catwoman, James Bond (Sean Connery), Aladdin (Yeah... Watch it as an adult and analyze his behavior), Snape.... Not all are necessarily psychopaths but they do utilize behavior that is often sneaky or deceptive to achieve goals that are accepted by society with little violence.
I just wanted to let everyone know I am still here and I am still listening. I just have been busy lately and unable to post much.
An update from the mother who was meeting her sociopathic son halfway, from a comment from that post:
I have had conversations with my son and come to realize that his feeding lizards to the dog and such was actually not motivated by sadistic tendencies, nor was his treatment of other children. For example, with the lizards, the dog was chasing them in a playful manner. My son just thought he was expediting the process... Cutting to the chase, so to speak. He didn't enjoy it. He just didn't care, thought the chasing of the lizard was fun and didn't know what to do with it when he caught it so he fed it to the dog, who had been chasing it... To his mind, it simply made sense. The fights with his brother and other children were not sadism either but, rather, a violent response to a perceived injustice most of the time or instrumental violence that served some purpose to him. That has been a great relief to me.
To those who have suggested a firmer hand, you are correct. I have been holding firmer on rules, regulations, and punishments. It has made a big difference in his behavior. No more sob stories or pouty faces to escape the punishment (or absence of reward).
We have been having a lot of fun together... And just having someone who is trying to understand him seems as though it has relieved him, like he doesn't have to hide ALL the time. Framing things as games has probably had the biggest effect. "You are an alien sent from another planet to observe humans and today, your objective is..." It takes the tediousness of normal social interaction and makes it something fun and intellectually engaging... With just the hint of deception/conning.
Everyone's thoughts on being explicit on things that we assume are "givens" has helped as well. I have also worked with him on understanding and mirroring facial expressions and done exercises to help him develop cognitive empathy and be aware of it...
I have worked on finding decent role models that are interesting to a nearly ten year old boy but also age appropriate... Catwoman, James Bond (Sean Connery), Aladdin (Yeah... Watch it as an adult and analyze his behavior), Snape.... Not all are necessarily psychopaths but they do utilize behavior that is often sneaky or deceptive to achieve goals that are accepted by society with little violence.
I just wanted to let everyone know I am still here and I am still listening. I just have been busy lately and unable to post much.
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