From a reader:
I am almost at the end of your work. I assume most of the story was true ( although you made reference to snow in Southern California). The story of you dad punching the holes in the door was quite disturbing. I would imagine you have many stories this severe from childhood.
My observation is that you have the tools to be more successful in your career and life. I am a physician but not a psychiatrist. The premise of the book is that you are a sociopath. I think you might also have antisocial personality disorder. You have likely researched this given your intelligence.
Have you ever considered therapy? Maybe you are happy with your life. From your academic acheivements you could easily be a full partner at a large firm or a full professor of law.
I can from a damaged childhood too. I know how hard it can be.
Take care.
From M.E.:
https://www.google.com/maps/search/big+bear+mountain/@34.2363405,-116.8919775,14z/data=!3m1!4b1
Yes, I have considered therapy. I've actually been seeing a therapist for the past year or so. He intentionally doesn't tell me what he is doing so I don't thwart his goals and make it a power struggle, and so I would guess that 80% of our sessions are misdirection on his part, which makes for an interesting therapy dynamic. But therapy has been really helpful. I feel like I finally learned how to not be manipulative. I think people always assumed that it was a choice with me, but I really had no idea how to not be because I didn't feel like I had a default choice that I would make just for my own sake, rather than as an attempt to manipulate somehow. So I always just chose things with other people's preferences in mind instead of my own. Does that make sense? I'm not entirely sure how I started recognizing that I had my own preferences. And now when I don't want to be manipulative, I just do those things. I completely ignore the outside world and just try to figure out what is my true desire, rather than thinking of the effect my choices will have on other people. The probably sounds selfish, and maybe eventually I will get to whatever happy medium most people have on this, but right now I just feel doubly skilled to be able to not only manipulate when I want to, but stop manipulating when I want to.
I am almost at the end of your work. I assume most of the story was true ( although you made reference to snow in Southern California). The story of you dad punching the holes in the door was quite disturbing. I would imagine you have many stories this severe from childhood.
My observation is that you have the tools to be more successful in your career and life. I am a physician but not a psychiatrist. The premise of the book is that you are a sociopath. I think you might also have antisocial personality disorder. You have likely researched this given your intelligence.
Have you ever considered therapy? Maybe you are happy with your life. From your academic acheivements you could easily be a full partner at a large firm or a full professor of law.
I can from a damaged childhood too. I know how hard it can be.
Take care.
From M.E.:
https://www.google.com/maps/search/big+bear+mountain/@34.2363405,-116.8919775,14z/data=!3m1!4b1
Yes, I have considered therapy. I've actually been seeing a therapist for the past year or so. He intentionally doesn't tell me what he is doing so I don't thwart his goals and make it a power struggle, and so I would guess that 80% of our sessions are misdirection on his part, which makes for an interesting therapy dynamic. But therapy has been really helpful. I feel like I finally learned how to not be manipulative. I think people always assumed that it was a choice with me, but I really had no idea how to not be because I didn't feel like I had a default choice that I would make just for my own sake, rather than as an attempt to manipulate somehow. So I always just chose things with other people's preferences in mind instead of my own. Does that make sense? I'm not entirely sure how I started recognizing that I had my own preferences. And now when I don't want to be manipulative, I just do those things. I completely ignore the outside world and just try to figure out what is my true desire, rather than thinking of the effect my choices will have on other people. The probably sounds selfish, and maybe eventually I will get to whatever happy medium most people have on this, but right now I just feel doubly skilled to be able to not only manipulate when I want to, but stop manipulating when I want to.

