From a reader:
I've read your book, Without Conscience, Sociopath Next Door, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and Wisdom of Psychopaths, and still haven't been able to figure out if I'm a sociopath, because I don't fully fit into the category of empath or sociopath.
I don't do things because I will feel guilt, remorse, shame, etc., if I don't. I can turn off my emotions at will, and feel nothing for hurting others, and the results of an IQ test in high school showed I had an IQ of 147.
The thing that confuses me is that, while I can't empathize with others' emotions, I have a rule for myself that I won't do anything I wouldn't be okay with others doing to me, because I hate when others cheat and screw me, so I want to make sure they know what their dealing with, but it's an intellectual decision to treat ppl the way I'd want to be treated, but at the same time I could be a total douche to people and not care. Also, I'm honest with people because it takes too much effort for me to lie, but I have no feelings about lying when it's easy and convenient, or manipulating someone's sense of morality and personal emotions and beliefs to protect myself, or get what I want (in a survival of the fittest way).
Unlike most of the sociopaths, though, I don't crave stimulation or power. Roller coasters bore me, I don't take pleasure in anything with others (like having power over them makes me feel nothing, and being below them makes me feel nothing). I have no anger towards others either; like if someone gives me shit I don't feel anger or have any desire to hurt them, but I don't feel fear or anything either; it's like I'm eternally emotionally neutral towards everything; like I enjoy being around people or out partying, but I enjoy being at home with a book exactly the same, because my inner emotional state doesn't change according to what happens in my outside environment.
I don't care or get affected by what others say about me, I don't feel fear (or much any emotion) in response to situations, fear or otherwise. For example, a woman with a phenomenal body and breasts walked by in a bikini on the beach, and all my friends will be drooling over her, and, while I'd enjoy fucking her, I'm apathetic, and will just observe her like a car walking by, other than reading her body language and studying her like a science textbook, then I went up to her, played out a few lines and shit I'd seen out of movies like The Notebook and books like 50 Shades of Grey, fucked her, and thought nothing of it.
While all my friends were too wimpy to approach her, I felt apathetic the whole time, even after I fucked her, I walked out with a, "well, that was nice, time to move on with my life" mindset and attitude.
I'm don't have any of the hallmarks of empaths, but I lack many traits I read that are common in sociopaths, so I don't know how to classify myself, and knowing you have more experience in this area I figured you had the answer.
I've read your book, Without Conscience, Sociopath Next Door, Women Who Love Psychopaths, and Wisdom of Psychopaths, and still haven't been able to figure out if I'm a sociopath, because I don't fully fit into the category of empath or sociopath.
I don't do things because I will feel guilt, remorse, shame, etc., if I don't. I can turn off my emotions at will, and feel nothing for hurting others, and the results of an IQ test in high school showed I had an IQ of 147.
The thing that confuses me is that, while I can't empathize with others' emotions, I have a rule for myself that I won't do anything I wouldn't be okay with others doing to me, because I hate when others cheat and screw me, so I want to make sure they know what their dealing with, but it's an intellectual decision to treat ppl the way I'd want to be treated, but at the same time I could be a total douche to people and not care. Also, I'm honest with people because it takes too much effort for me to lie, but I have no feelings about lying when it's easy and convenient, or manipulating someone's sense of morality and personal emotions and beliefs to protect myself, or get what I want (in a survival of the fittest way).
Unlike most of the sociopaths, though, I don't crave stimulation or power. Roller coasters bore me, I don't take pleasure in anything with others (like having power over them makes me feel nothing, and being below them makes me feel nothing). I have no anger towards others either; like if someone gives me shit I don't feel anger or have any desire to hurt them, but I don't feel fear or anything either; it's like I'm eternally emotionally neutral towards everything; like I enjoy being around people or out partying, but I enjoy being at home with a book exactly the same, because my inner emotional state doesn't change according to what happens in my outside environment.
I don't care or get affected by what others say about me, I don't feel fear (or much any emotion) in response to situations, fear or otherwise. For example, a woman with a phenomenal body and breasts walked by in a bikini on the beach, and all my friends will be drooling over her, and, while I'd enjoy fucking her, I'm apathetic, and will just observe her like a car walking by, other than reading her body language and studying her like a science textbook, then I went up to her, played out a few lines and shit I'd seen out of movies like The Notebook and books like 50 Shades of Grey, fucked her, and thought nothing of it.
While all my friends were too wimpy to approach her, I felt apathetic the whole time, even after I fucked her, I walked out with a, "well, that was nice, time to move on with my life" mindset and attitude.
I'm don't have any of the hallmarks of empaths, but I lack many traits I read that are common in sociopaths, so I don't know how to classify myself, and knowing you have more experience in this area I figured you had the answer.
I considered many disorders. They all came back to the conclusion that I no one could find any evidence I suffer from delusions, am fully aware of my behavior, actions, and consequences. I'm brilliant at analyzing situations, people, and rational and abstract reasoning.
The psychologist who gave me my IQ test said he had to re-check part of the test, because he thought he added the score twice, and that in 22 years of giving over 1,200 tests he only had 3 people ever scored higher than me in this area. I've always been able to read people's life story like a book within 30 seconds of meeting them just by reading their body language.
The confusion about where I fit in, is that, around people, I can appear engaging, passionate, funny, or whatever else, and I don't really care if I'm alone or with people, but I never have a preference to avoid situations with a lot of emotions and shit, or close relationships, and I don't get uncomfortable. I just use these situations as experiments to entertain myself, and to experience and learn new things I can use to better manipulate people better to get what I want in the future, but I am indifferent to what people say/think of me, and even though I act my mood rarely changes... it's all a facade.
I also like sex a lot, but I don't give a shit about the intimacy; just the rush of dopamine that comes from an orgasm... it has nothing to do with the other person.
At work or school I'd always do whatever I could to get good grades and make myself look good with the least amount of effort (in college I always went on RateMyProfessor and picked the easiest teachers so I could get a high GPA with little to no effort).
I want you to put this on your blog so I can see what sociopaths have to say. Most of the therapists and "experts" I know don't know seem to know shit beyond what they read in some book. It would help to hear what other sociopaths think.
