From a reader:
There's a phenomenon that you've probably noticed - things in the past don't seem important or real. This trait allows you to land on your feet, adapt to changing circumstances, etc.
Other people may find it disturbing. Some murderers murder their spouses and then immediately remarry. Partly the sociopath is just doing what he wants to do (get married), but also his sense of time is different - it is difficult for him to conceive that others will get bothered that the sociopath has moved on so quickly. Maybe he cries once, feels a little sorry for himself (for losing the wife) and then he's done and ready to move on.The empathy deficit explains the inability to anticipate what others will think & feel about the sociopath's actions, and the fear deficit means that to the extent he thinks others might notice and care, he doesn't care enough to change his behavior.
It occurred to me that this might explain a phenomenon that some have noticed: a sociopath will act antisocial one moment and then basically act as if it happened long, long ago. E.g. you argue with family ferociously and then 10 minutes later ask them for a favor.
I think some might talk of a "sense of self" - the self occurs in the present, in the form of thoughts about who one is. The sociopath is too busy doing stuff to pay attention to thoughts like, "I've been pushing things to the limit and should slow down before I piss them off."
I recently encountered this with a woman. I broke up with her and said I wanted to be friends. A week or so later it sounded like she was OK with socializing. I interpreted that to mean she was all done processing her feelings, so I asked for a favor. That led to her getting upset. To me, it just seemed like it was long ago, and apparently she'd worked it all out, so it was OK to ask for a favor. I also assumed, like me, that if we were friends, she'd follow whatever code of behavior she follows for her friends. Of course that's absurd - she follows her feelings. In any case, I couldn't possibly imagine how touchy she was going to be about this issue, or I never would have asked - because why would I irritate a friend? That's against my habits.
There's a phenomenon that you've probably noticed - things in the past don't seem important or real. This trait allows you to land on your feet, adapt to changing circumstances, etc.
Other people may find it disturbing. Some murderers murder their spouses and then immediately remarry. Partly the sociopath is just doing what he wants to do (get married), but also his sense of time is different - it is difficult for him to conceive that others will get bothered that the sociopath has moved on so quickly. Maybe he cries once, feels a little sorry for himself (for losing the wife) and then he's done and ready to move on.The empathy deficit explains the inability to anticipate what others will think & feel about the sociopath's actions, and the fear deficit means that to the extent he thinks others might notice and care, he doesn't care enough to change his behavior.
It occurred to me that this might explain a phenomenon that some have noticed: a sociopath will act antisocial one moment and then basically act as if it happened long, long ago. E.g. you argue with family ferociously and then 10 minutes later ask them for a favor.
I think some might talk of a "sense of self" - the self occurs in the present, in the form of thoughts about who one is. The sociopath is too busy doing stuff to pay attention to thoughts like, "I've been pushing things to the limit and should slow down before I piss them off."
I recently encountered this with a woman. I broke up with her and said I wanted to be friends. A week or so later it sounded like she was OK with socializing. I interpreted that to mean she was all done processing her feelings, so I asked for a favor. That led to her getting upset. To me, it just seemed like it was long ago, and apparently she'd worked it all out, so it was OK to ask for a favor. I also assumed, like me, that if we were friends, she'd follow whatever code of behavior she follows for her friends. Of course that's absurd - she follows her feelings. In any case, I couldn't possibly imagine how touchy she was going to be about this issue, or I never would have asked - because why would I irritate a friend? That's against my habits.