This was an interesting blurb that a reader sent me about one person's idea of success in life:
Be selfish + seek pleasure + avoid pain = success
At first glance, you may think this formula encourages you to be the most greedy and self-absorbed person imaginable. In reality, exactly the opposite will happen.
This formula virtually eliminates all the short-term bad decisions most of us make about diet, exercise, money, and relationships.
If you just want pleasure, you might cheat on your spouse. But if you want both pleasure and to avoid pain, you won't do it.
If you just want pleasure, you will eat rich desserts. But if you want both pleasure and to avoid pain, you will likely eat less dessert.
If you just want to avoid pain, you might lead a quiet, sheltered and safe life. But if you also want pleasure, you will find a healthy balance between safety and excitement.
To use a simple example, I'm a passionate skier with three "kids." During three different periods, I had to give up much of my free skiing time to teach them to ski. That was a little painful - especially in my lower back - but the subsequent pleasure of skiing with my now-expert offspring far outweighed the pain of a few missed powder days. Teaching them to ski was incredibly selfish of me.
Enlightened self-interest that looks like altruism
Add these three elements together, and you will start behaving in a manner that others interpret as altruism. You will exhibit a strong interest in your community, peers and colleagues, because doing so is how you make the formula work on your behalf.
Here's the critical part: you must adopt all three! If you adopt just one, your life won't go so well.
If you just focus on pleasure, you'll end up with a superficial and unsustainable life. If you simply avoid pain, you'll never accomplish anything worthwhile. If you obsess with your self-interest, you'll become the greedy and selfish person I promised to help you avoid becoming.
The reader commented that this is very similar to how I approach my own decisionmaking process. Does this seem familiar to anyone else?
Be selfish + seek pleasure + avoid pain = success
At first glance, you may think this formula encourages you to be the most greedy and self-absorbed person imaginable. In reality, exactly the opposite will happen.
This formula virtually eliminates all the short-term bad decisions most of us make about diet, exercise, money, and relationships.
If you just want pleasure, you might cheat on your spouse. But if you want both pleasure and to avoid pain, you won't do it.
If you just want pleasure, you will eat rich desserts. But if you want both pleasure and to avoid pain, you will likely eat less dessert.
If you just want to avoid pain, you might lead a quiet, sheltered and safe life. But if you also want pleasure, you will find a healthy balance between safety and excitement.
To use a simple example, I'm a passionate skier with three "kids." During three different periods, I had to give up much of my free skiing time to teach them to ski. That was a little painful - especially in my lower back - but the subsequent pleasure of skiing with my now-expert offspring far outweighed the pain of a few missed powder days. Teaching them to ski was incredibly selfish of me.
Enlightened self-interest that looks like altruism
Add these three elements together, and you will start behaving in a manner that others interpret as altruism. You will exhibit a strong interest in your community, peers and colleagues, because doing so is how you make the formula work on your behalf.
Here's the critical part: you must adopt all three! If you adopt just one, your life won't go so well.
If you just focus on pleasure, you'll end up with a superficial and unsustainable life. If you simply avoid pain, you'll never accomplish anything worthwhile. If you obsess with your self-interest, you'll become the greedy and selfish person I promised to help you avoid becoming.
The reader commented that this is very similar to how I approach my own decisionmaking process. Does this seem familiar to anyone else?




