Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Bergen Conference on the Treatment of Psychopathy

Copies of the talks presented at last November's Second Bergen Conference on the Treatment of Psychopathy are available here, for those who are interested in the latest research or theories.  All of the talks include links to powerpoint or other supporting documents and Vimeo videos that hopefully should be accessible, wherever you happen to be watching geographically.

Some interesting topics include "Psychopathy: Capturing an elusive concept,"What do we think about when we think about psychopathy: Prototypicality research," "Untreatable? There might be exceptions!" "Motivating people with personality disorder to engage in treatment using a goal-based approach," "Working therapeutically with young people at risk of developing psychopathy," "Working therapeutically with women with psychopathy," and "Conceptualizing psychopathy in terms of boldness, meanness and disinhibition: Implications for prevention and treatment."

If nothing else, I think these talks give insight into how much researchers disagree about even the most basic concepts, and what drives those disagreements.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Game theory

A reader writes about game theory:


I find that I approach life through classic game theory (even before I learned what game theory was). Everything in life is a series of pro's and con's; a constant evaluation of the better outcome. "Love" is the same way, regardless of limerence. I see the pro's and con's of being with a particular person over another person, or over being alone and choose accordingly; approaching marriage in the same fashion, of course. I am engaged, actually; she loves me, and I see no outright "con's" to being with her, I know her (by the same measure of being able to "peer into her soul" as from the blog), and I am generally happy with her presence. While I am not aware that she knows of my sociopathy (although, she is quite familiar with with my agitation towards people, preference to solitude, quiet and observant nature, etc.), I am also sure that should she label me as such, she would not cause me undue stress. That, finally, is one of the major things (a keystone "pro," if you will), is that whatever event I am weighing, I will most always choose the event likely to cause me less hassle and stress.

For me, not only is Game Theory one fashion of handling life, but the concept of compartmentalization.  As many people have commented, trying to keep everything in order (in regards to the lies, half-truths, manipulations, "games," etc.) would be exceedingly difficult.  And it would be, if the sociopath's mind operated as a normal person's.  Everything in my mind is organized sort of like folders and folder groups that you might find in, say, Windows Explorer; everything has its place.  When a situation presents itself, or I am with a certain friend(s), I simply "open" up that folder and behave accordingly.  When one's mind is organized in such a way that no thought co-mingles with others, you don't have the problem of "remembering all of the lies," because you have everything you need neatly stored away, waiting to be accessed at the right time.  This same concept of compartmentalization applies in all walks of life, whether it be love, friendships, work, etc.  Another quality of this is enabling oneself to keep track of friend circles and ensuring that none of these circles cross in any way; this can allow for you to more easily adapt to any number of given situations per friend circle: a different personality, find another lover (in addition to, or instead of, one you may already have).  I find that I am in many different circles, but almost as a ghost; I can walk in and out of these circles almost unnoticed and not missed.  I was once described by a teacher as, "a loner who is never alone." 

Monday, January 9, 2012

Guest song: Turn that Heartbeat Over Again

It's doubtful a sociopath would care whether his victim lived or died; the victim's survival would mean only a reduced sentence.  It's also doubtful whether a sociopath could ever transform himself into an empathetic person, which fits perfectly with the concept of prayer for me since I believe God is imaginary.  Saying you'll change if God makes his presence known to you is like saying "when Hell freezes over" or "when pigs fly" or "tomorrow"--because it ain't gonna happen.





With stocking face I bought a gun
The plan was set the plan was done
Looked at my watch and started for the door
Now the food here ain't so good no more
And they closed the package store

CHORUS:
Love your mama, love your brother
Love 'em till they run for cover
Turn the light off, keep your shirt on
Cry a jag on me

Oh Michael Oh Jesus you know I'm not to blame
You know my reputation for playing a good clean game
Oh Michael Oh Jesus I'll keep my promise when
You turn that heartbeat over again

My poison's named you know my brand
So please make mine a double, Sam
Stir it up nice I'll eat it right here
This highway runs from Paraguay
And I've just come all the way

CHORUS

We warned the corpse of William Wright
Not to cuss and drink all night
Ticket in hand *WE* saw him laid to rest
But zombie see and zombie do
He's here with me and you

CHORUS

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Perfect prey (part 2)

(cont.):


From the beginning of high school she was extremely charming to the people that she wanted to be; she quickly made friends in the highest places, and this continued until she was eventually elected school captain. She is currently in a relationship with the school dux, and her scores were not much lower. Everyone knew her, and they either loved or hated her. Her relationships with teachers were generally not negative (they deemed her to be a 'know-it-all' and too combative for the classroom, later moving on to describe her as "manipulative, sitting in the back of the classroom orchestrating dramas..."), and the only teacher that she has ever really hit it off with was one that I consider to be dangerously needy, unprofessional and interfering in student lives. <-  Not that I consider that to be terribly relevant, but it does link with something else quite apparent in a number of her relationships over the years: 

She often became very close with students and teachers in vulnerable positions. It began by building a rapport of trust, having them confide in her, and her making them feel that she could 'carry' them. She is seen as fiercely protective by most, and she seemed to be magnetically drawn to people in this position - I myself went through an eating disorder, clinical depression, substance abuse and residential treatment during my friendship with her, in which our dynamics would completely mimic the ones that I am about to describe to you... After building the vulnerable's dependence on her she tends to pull back, and leave them with a little less of what they would like from her. Depending on the circumstances, there can be a bit of an effort on the vulnerable's behalf (in which they can become possibly more emotionally fragile - they wouldn't blame her though, they'd 'realise' that the solution lies with her and therefore want her back even more) until she finally gets sick of them and moves on to someone else. This has happened countless times. Similarly, while I also don't blame her for the problems I had, from the eating disorder onwards (when she and I first became close), the ups and downs in my situation were always, in some way, related to her.

Until now, I think, I seem to be either the weakest or the 'strangest' of all of her playthings. Either she has not completely abandoned me until this point because I have engaged in the cat and mouse for so long, or she still finds me interesting. She has described me as 'addictive' and a giant 'contradiction' (in contrast to the pill-popping and self harm, I tend to be regarded as the grounded, well groomed, 'pretty' drama captain - and drama is cool in Australia, hah), which is, of course, exactly as I would describe her.

M.E.: Ah, this is interesting.  I think a lot of people could relate to what you said of a sociopath being attracted to the vulnerability in you.  I don't know what it is about that.  I have experienced that before.  I like to say that I am attracted to people who have a certain susceptibility to my charms, which generally means people who are damaged.  I guess it's because I can become so important to them so quickly?  Also I tend not to worry as much about them outting me--because they are already so messed up, people tend to not credit much of what they say.  It's interesting that your socio friend is female.  I wonder if female sociopaths tend to be even more "nurturing" in the way they seek out their targets/intimates.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Perfect prey (part 1)

From a reader:

Do you believe that there are empaths who are perfectly suitable partners for sociopaths?

I have been playing cat and mouse with a certain sociopath for four years now. We have gone back and forth between 'love', hate, jealousy, possession and everything in between, and I can't imagine anyone more intellectually or emotionally stimulating. I consider myself to be in love with this person, and know from their inability to get away from me, they reciprocate this to some degree.

I have had others boyfriends (all who I believe are empaths), and I couldn't stand them. I am inextricably proud of 'my sociopath' when they are exerting power over others, and I find it hilarious and thrilling when I know that they are trying to manipulate me also. 


M.E.: It makes sense that there would be certain empaths who value sociopathic traits more than others, such that they would be willing to put up with a lot more of the "negative" traits (or not even see them as negative) than most would.  And it is odd to read some of the comments and see that some people have had multiple interactions with sociopaths over their lifetime--almost like they are a magnet for sociopaths.

But I feel like I should give you some unsolicited advice, just because I just got done emailing someone who pushed her sociopath too far and had him abandon her.  The tricky thing about sociopaths in relationships is that nothing is certain.  You are probably right that your sociopath is intrigued with you, maybe even infatuated.  There is no such thing as "can't live without" in the sociopath's world, though.  They are extremely adaptable and changeable and if you are gone, they really will hardly notice (if notice at all).  That is not to say that they couldn't be a lifelong companion.  But, you would have to be like a plate spinner--constantly going from plate to plate, tending to this need here, being ever so slightly difficult and playful there--to keep things going.  It's a lot of work, and if you're not naturally interested in those sorts of interpersonal machinations, it might wear on you.


Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.