Thursday, January 5, 2012

Misanthropy

I was searching for a particular old email recently and stumbled across an interesting discussion between me and a friend.  To give you some insight into my friend's view of humanity, this friend had one time suggested that it was easy for me to be so happy-go-lucky about humanity because I had more "faith" in love than she did.  It is weird for me to read things like this because I don't feel this way anymore--I am not as enamored with humanity as I was even a few years ago.  Then I saw this email (again, from several years ago) to the same friend about how I had been helping out with the political cause of a mutual acquaintance--a political view that this particular friend abhorred.
I'm very impressionable it is true. And yes, I did pick a conclusion first and then come up with ways to justify it to myself. I didn't realize that I had done such a poor job that you could see through me so easily.  
Anyway, this is how I have always been. I don't really think things are morally abhorrent. I usually don't think about stuff that way. I really am pretty much a blank slate. I just like people, I don't mind adopting their values on things and fighting for those values. It's like the Naomi character in the bible saying, "where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. your people shall be my people, and your god my god." People are my beliefs and alliances, you included. If the other side had gotten to me first, maybe it would be a different story and a different set of justifications. I can understand people not respecting that or not thinking it is a legitimate way of living, but I don't know. It seems alright to me. But I am not entirely surprised that my justifications didn't make sense to you. Don't be sad, though. I'm ok. I'm not about to join a cult or anything.
It's weird for me to read something like this. It's odd to see certain very familiar things about myself (i.e. weak sense of self, impressionable, people pleasing), but I also realize that I used to like people much more than I do now. It's as if my love and interest in humanity was a passing phase--a bit of a personal fad, like the careers or other exploits that I have picked up and dropped just as suddenly over the years. I think I exhausted the potential upside with people and then it became (and still is) just maintenance. There's no longer the same thrill that I used to get in interacting with people.

My current relationships take so much more effort than my previous relationships did.  When I was younger, I would just burn through relationships.  I confessed to one that I was using him like a paper napkin, to be disposed after I was done with him.  After a while I got a little tired of the drama and upheaval that went along with these aborted relationships.

Now I have a general rule that I don't mess with my intimates, only with people to whom I do not have many ties.  It's basically a policy of not defecating where I intend to eat.  There are real benefits in living my life this way, but there are also definite costs.  Now if I am fed up with someone, I don't blow up or try to hurt them, I distance myself from them and spend some recovery time alone.  Sometimes I have to spend the equivalent of several hours alone in order to be one hour of my well-behaved, solicitous self around certain people. It's odd, but the nicer I have become to my intimates, the less goodwill I have for the rest of humanity.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Psycho Stapleton

I stumbled upon this today and didn't know what to think.  From The BBC News:
Kiaran Stapleton, 20, of Salford, was remanded in custody by Manchester magistrates over the death of the 23-year-old in Ordsall Lane, Salford.
Mr Bidve, from India, was studying at Lancaster University and was visiting Greater Manchester over Christmas.
He was shot in the head at close range at 01:30 GMT. 
When asked his name in court, Mr Stapleton replied: "Psycho. Psycho Stapleton."
On the one hand, it's possible that he means "psycho" as in "psychotic." On the other hand, if he means "psycho" as in "psychopath," then I wonder, is this some wannabe kid? It's another reason why I think it's dangerous to insist that psychopaths are blood thirsty murderers. To the extent that it is true (as some have suggested here) that psychopaths are somehow considered "cool" to young people nowadays, the last thing we want is for them to think that all it takes is to kill someone in cold blood to belong to the cool crowd. I thought we got away from that with the seeming cessation in school shootings.  But apart from his odd James Bond recitation of his adopted name and the crime he was accused of, I have no idea whether or not he is a psychopath or a wannabe psychopath (or psychotic or wannabe psychotic).

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fishead


From a reader:
Here's yet another thing I ran across that you may find interesting. It's apparently a new documentary about corporate psychopaths.
I wasn't too fond of it. I started watching it but got bored half way through, so I stopped. Been
there, done that. No new information was presented. Except for the pen thing. That was amusing.

I also ran across this one article as well, although it's old hat as far as people who have ingested a lot of material about this subject before:

I suppose it's interesting to the degree that it's, in a sense, about the "frontiers" of psychopathy research.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Petty tyrant

From a reader:


When I heard this story on This American Life this past Sunday, I thought of you.  It’s the story of a "petty tyrant" named Steve Raucci. This guy routinely used bombs to keep people in his orbit in line, among many other tactics. He never got around to actually killing anyone though. Small acts of terror, combined with schmoozing the right people in authority was his mo. And it worked too. For decades. Until of course, like all stupid villains, he had to go and spill the beans with a “friend” who was wearing a wire. You may not have time to listen to the entire program (it’s I believe 40 minutes or more). But if you do, you may want to give it a gander. Is this guy a sociopath or just a very motivated manager?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Why I hate narcissists

Here is a good illustration of the differences between narcissists and sociopaths that I found here:

Narcissist wolf says to everyone:
"I'm a sheep, I'm a sheep, I'm in the sheep club. The sheep are the best. Those wolves are terrible. You have to be a special sheep to be in the high-wool club like me. If you don't believe I'm a sheep then you are calling me a liar. I was only eating meat because my boss made me do it. I was howling at the moon because you made me angry. I have always been a sheep. You are paranoid, I don't have canine teeth. You are imagining it. I'm a sheep. I won best sheep of the year award. We have to be on the look out for SueTarget. She's a wolf in sheeps' clothing. I am the one that did all the work. SueTarget messed it all up. SueTargets's fur looks fake. I'm the biggest sheep so I should be the boss. I have every right to punish SueTarget and eat her. It will be good for her, and teach her a lesson. I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for the team. I have to be the enforcer here and eat bad sheeps to help keep society clean. I used to be a vegetarian but because all these lazy sheep won't do anything, I am forced into keeping order and forced into being the bad guy and have to do all the eating of sheep."

Sociopath wolf says:
"Become the sheep. Believe you are the sheep. Keep the wolf hidden. Don't act like a narcissist and don't try to "talk your way". Become the sheep. Do sheep things. Behave like sheep. No one will see the wolf. Baa baa baa. Eat grass for a while. Give up meat for a while. Tell the sheep things that will make them feel good about themselves. Gain their trust. Be humble. Make them the center of attention. Get them to lower their defenses. Tell them you lost your teeth in a car accident and your parents could only afford wolf-teeth replacements. Keep past a secret so they don't research. Let them do all the talking. Then when the time is right, devour! It is worth the sacrifice and the wait. Then on a polygraph when they ask if I am a sheep, I will have all the sheep memories because I became a sheep. I have memories of eating grass and living like a sheep. I'm telling the truth."
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