"One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. But she would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her."
Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
I do understand that I should never expect anything of him, and if he is being nurturing and sympathetic sometimes it's only because he enjoys the feelings which his rare sweetness awakens. I'm willing to go forward with this weird friendship. I'm not going to give up on him just because he is somehow different, after all he is a human being as well. Plus it gives some kind of drive.
I was thinking about sociopathy a lot lately and i came to a conclusion that such people are like tigers, wild animals, and trying to tame one takes skill. And the best part is that you will never fully tame one, today he loves you, and tomorrow he will bite your throat out. Being in this arena gives me a sense of life. I came up with a theory that people can be placed under 2 categories; the pets, and the wild animals. Sociopaths are more likely to survive -- I do believe they make good business people, because in situations where others would think twice before either breaking the law, or defying some other social norms (dont steal, dont cheat, bla bla) a sociopath wouldn't blink an eye. And they project a sense of power -- women are drawn to that. So maybe that's why I like the guy. For me its an honor to be within his close circle, and hopefully I can keep this place without being replaced. And I'm willing to become his perfect victim, and put him on a pedestal. Yes, this takes balls and courage, but I dont want to be replaced. He is free like the wind, and untamable, but he is my wild tiger, and I want to stay in the arena.
Whenever Morris Townsend had left the house, her imagination projected itself, with all its strength, into the idea of his soon coming back; but if she had been told at such a moment that he would not return for a year, or even that he would never return, she would not have complained nor rebelled, but would have humbly accepted the decree, and sought for consolation in thinking over the times she had already seen him, the words he had spoken, the sound of his voice, of his tread, the expression of his face. Love demands certain things as a right; but Catherine had no sense of her rights; she had only a consciousness of immense and unexpected favours.It's a good book for someone in your situation to read though.