A reader asks:
You might also want to consider whether you are just sick? Sometimes I mistake physical illness for negative "feelings." Or there's something else going with you besides sociopathy.
I got a question for you: Are you prone to depression? Is it something sociopathsI said: You know, I have a vague recollection of being depressed, but honestly it's hard for me to really tap into any of those memories when I'm happy. When I am up, I tend to stay pretty up, can't imagine myself being any other way. What I do remember about any feelings of depression is that it is frequently accompanied by a sensation of deja vu -- I feel like I have experienced that feeling of depression before, although I do not have a specific memory of experiencing the depression. It's as if when I am up all I can remember are the good things, and when I am down I can suddenly tap into those other unhappy memories with much greater ease.
gotta deal with?
Do you contemplate suicide?
For the past 2 weeks I can't think about anything else, I get depressed every now and then. It's sort of like seasons, I got a happy season where I am the king of the world and I can't be happier, I love my life etc etc.
Then all in a sudden I start missing things I used to like, I start missing my happiness then it all snow balls into thinking that life isn't worth it. And if you thinks properly about it, life isn't worth it at all, it doesn't have a meaning, it doesn't have a goal it's just a fucking rat race with no purpose what so ever.
And the boredom that I fell the emptiness within my one self, it's so hard to stand it's all so superficial, my friends say they like me, they always receive with such warmth and love but yet I can't appreciate it it all seems superficial. Like if they are lying right on your face and everyone is aware of it.
Maybe the thing that bothers me the most is the hardcore interest in something for a period of time and then the vanishing of interest.
That has happened with everything in my life. Girls, friends, uni, hobbies, movies, series. All sorts.
I thought I was a sociopath or a psychopath when I first read your blog and then maybe a narcissist but I don't really know if there is a way to class me, maybe maniac depressive?
I don't really know to be honest, it doesn't really matter, it's not knowing why I act the way I do that will change anything.
Is there anyone else like this out there?
The idea of killing myself sounds so appealing, such an easy way...
You might also want to consider whether you are just sick? Sometimes I mistake physical illness for negative "feelings." Or there's something else going with you besides sociopathy.