From a reader:
I just wanted to thank you for writing your blog. I've only read a handful of posts so far but it helps to know someone out there has ASPD and is willing to write about it. Not those guys who think they are badass and have no feelings. You really understand the disorder as do I, also your post on sociopaths loving helped me realize I'm not crazy and other sociopaths do love just like I have.I said:
The briefest way to explain my story would be that ever since I can remember I never felt like everyone else did. I remember being a child and watching people in real life or tv shows always with real people trying to mimic the way they react to certain situations. I understand complex human emotion fairly well and can mimic it perfectly at times I just don't feel it. In fact i'm so good at it sometimes I stop and think to myself, wow do I really feel that and the answer is always a slight chuckle and a no. I'm only 20 so I'm young but I know if I don't start doing something with my life now I never will and it really doesn't bother me. I find I lack motivation I mean yeah it'd be great to have a job and go back to college and get a career and have a sucessful life but I don't really care. These things get people nowhere I think they just don't see that because they are driven by emotion. I do what I have to to survive beyond that why bother.
I just know that I will benefit from going somewhere in life.
I think it's harder for us in part because we see the pointlessness of certain typical endeavors like being an office drone for the rest of our lives. On the other hand, there are certain things that it actually does help for us to try to do or be better about, so I understand your desire to go somewhere in life. Did you see this post? It's what has worked for me. Other than that, I would say just try to use your skills of manipulation on yourself--incentivize yourself, trick yourself, make a game of life, that sort of thing.
