Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Guest post: A fellow sociopath

Hello, I'm a fellow sociopath. I've read your entire blog, all the way from the beginning, I thank you. My father called me a psychopath when I was very young, between the ages of 5 to 8. I didn't get certain things, certain emotional things, certain norms.

How I got this way, I do not know. I had a traumatic event at the age of 14, I got jumped because I was messing around with somebody's girl. Her boyfriend found out, beaten me up with the help of his friends in front of the entire school. I didn't even go home that day, I slept in an abandon house, in the cold and the rain, plotting to kill this person. I had drawn up a plot to break his knees in and cripple him with a baseball bat.

Sadly I got arrested before that could happen.

I believe this started my extreme sociopathy besides the lack of empathy. I became a misogynist, a manipulator, extremely cold by that point. My mother had me put into therapy until we moved.

I was juvenile delinquent at 14, breaking and entering, shoplifiting, skipping school, a smart ass, constantly in the principals office. After my beating, I calmed down, cause I realized I was never gonna get out of high school at that rate. I had to be low profile, and just get out of high school. I was a gifted student so not like the work was hard.

By 16, I've began manipulating girls, collecting what I call trophies. Maybe nude pictures or videos of them. Females became my victim. I rarely had sex with them. Cause I'm asexual and find females weak and gross. Sometimes I do it, just to act out my urges of dominance and power, make them easier to control. But certain qualities I can find and like, for the most part, I'm not attracted. I do have them, every sociopath/narcissist, has his partner, his play thing. House/Wilson Sean/Christian....

Monday, February 14, 2011

Sociopaths in the news: Julian Assange

In celebration of Valentine's Day, this is a hilarious story of friend-seduction starring Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. From the Daily News:
This is a love story - an unrequited love story, but a love story nonetheless. 'My first thought upon seeing him was: cool guy.' This is how Daniel Domscheit-Berg describes his first meeting with Julian Assange at a conference of computer activists. . . . Daniel is smitten, and will remain smitten until, a year or two later, it all ends in tears.

'We used to be best friends, Julian and I - or at least, something like friends. Today, I'm not sure whether he even knows the concept. I'm not sure of anything any more.'
***
From the start, their relationship is that of servant to master, or disciple to guru. Daniel, dull and solid, is mustardkeen to do Julian's bidding, even to the extent of carrying his bags. Meanwhile, the vain and monomaniacal Julian barely notices him.
Before long, Daniel is tying himself up in knots about Julian.

'On the one hand, I found Julian unbearable, and, on the other, unbelievably special and lovable.' But between the lines, it is clear Julian finds Daniel a bit of a bore, worth tolerating only for as long as he kow-tows.

Julian gives little sign of noticing anything about Daniel but, for his part, Daniel takes an obsessive interest in Julian and his little quirks: the way he says 'hoi' instead of hello, and asks 'how goes?', the way he slides down banisters, the way he dances by galloping across the floor 'almost like a tribesman performing some ritual', the way he alters his name on his business cards to the more mysterious and glamorous 'Julian D'Assange'.
***
[W]henever Assange enters, we are all ears. Like most heroes and villains in literature, he is entirely self-centred and extremely peculiar. . . . He is a fantasist, and has what Daniel describes as 'a very free and easy relationship with the truth'. At one point, he tells Daniel that his hair went white from gamma radiation when, at the age of 14, he had built a reactor in the basement and reversed the poles.

The first cracks in the master-servant relationship appear early on. When they visit Switzerland to install a computer server, Daniel spends the rest of his money on supplies of Ovaltine to take home with him.

'I love the Swiss chocolate drink and for the rest of our tour I couldn't wait to get back home and make myself a huge cup of cocoa. But when we arrived back in Wiesbaden, the cocoa powder would be all gone. Julian had at some point torn open the packages and poured the contents straight into his mouth.'

Julian is forever taking more than his fair share of everything. 'If there were four slices of Spam, he would eat three and leave one for me.' Daniel often thinks: 'You could at least ask,' but doesn't like to say anything.
***
Julian is also something of a skinflint, always letting other people pay for things. He claims it's so his whereabouts can't be traced via a transaction with a cash machine, but when he uses this excuse straight after appearing at a televised Press conference, Daniel begins to smell a rat.

Before long, infatuation turns to irritation. Julian picks up women and brings them back to their shared hotel room. 'One night I really needed to sleep. I was dead tired, and I asked him to let me crash in peace for once. A short time later, I heard Julian talking to a woman on the phone...Julian insisted she come to the hotel. My problem was that we shared not only a room but a large double bed. I buried my head in my pillow and tried to sleep, or at least give that impression.'
***
[The] social isolation [of the Wikileaks team] fosters their self-regard, their notion that the world should be made to dance to their tune.

This turned, as Daniel says, 'two pale-faced computer freaks, whose intelligence would have otherwise gone unnoticed, into public figures who put fear into the hearts of the politicians, business leaders and military commanders of this world. They probably had nightmares about us. A lot of them probably wished that we had never been born. That felt good.'

In passages such as this, it becomes clear that the megalomania-they affect to despise in world leaders is as nothing compared to their own.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Moral high ground

Me to a friend: "I'll never ever be able to yell out 'I have never done you wrong, never,' to anyone. Because I do *everyone* a little wrong."

Friday, February 11, 2011

Sociopaths in media: Lady Gaga

From a reader (and for the search engines), as reported by Vogue via dlisted.
On how one of her greatest talents is not barfing on stage: "I don't know if you knew this. But the other night, in London, I had food poisoning. I was vomiting backstage during the changes. Nobody knew...I just Jedi mind-tricked my body. [I told myself] 'You will not vomit onstage.'"

On how she molests little monsters every night: "Sometimes, being onstage is like having sex with my fans. They're the only people on the planet who in an instant can make me just lose it."

On how her fans are bad kids, or something: "I see myself in them. I was this really bad, rebellious misfit of a person--I still am--sneaking out, going to clubs, drugs, alcohol, older men, younger men. You imagine it, I did it. I was just a bad kid. And I look at them, and every show there's a little more eyeliner, a little more freedom, and a little more 'I don't give a fuck about the bullies at my school.'"

On how she's full of so much modesty: "Speaking purely from a musical standpoint, I think I am a great performer. I am a talented entertainer. I consider myself to have one of the greatest voices in the industry. I consider myself to be one of the greatest songwriters. I wouldn't say that I am one of the greatest dancers, but I am really quite good at what I do. I think it’s OK to be confident in yourself."
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