Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Femme fatale

From a reader:
I was watching one of Andy Warhols movies with Edie Sedgwick. When Andy was told Edie had died, he responded Edie who? Do you think Edie was a sociopath? She was so charming, and had everyone feeling sorry for her.. still.

I lived with a girl I suspect was a sociopath and my grandma as well. I think it is their mystery that is so seductive. I've seen my grandmother transform into a starry eyed seductress charming a doctor while laying in her hospital bed. She was beautifully monovisual in all photographs taken of her. Yet her very last words to my grandfather were "Don't touch me, I hate you" Edie's charm reminds me of their charm. The way she evokes pity yet seems so strong yet charmingly fragile...? "poor little rich girl"

Do you know any femme fatales? And if so, were you attracted to her?

"Andy said I should write a song about Edie Sedgwick. I said 'Like what?' and he said 'Oh, don't you think she's a femme fatale, Lou?' So I wrote 'Femme Fatale' and we gave it to Nico. (Lou Reed)"
My response: Interesting what you say about the poor little rich girl, faux victim effect that femme fatales seem to have. I just wrote to a female sociopath reader about whether she thinks that her victims are attracted to her because they want to be predated upon (i.e. want to be exploited)? Or because there is something vulnerable about her that they can't help but want to exploit? If the latter, I think femme fatales sometimes attract targets who would never otherwise be in that type of situation, like an open cash register sitting unattended in front of someone who doesn't consider themself a thief.

I have known some femme fatales and I always find them to be very attractive. I look at them and I think, this person could ruin me. It's all very exciting, this feeling of wanting to be destroyed just for the pleasure of that moment when they turn their complete attention to you, even if it is just to destroy you. But I'll have to check out some of Edie's films.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The switch

From a reader:
I think I may be a hybrid sociopath. I am very similar to my father in the way that I am comfortably able to adopt and change my personality with ease. I have the characteristic sociopath ability to identify and exploit vulnerabilities in people.

But I am also able to feel sympathetic emotions such as empathy and love, however I can also choose to not feel them. It's a strange sort of mental switch I have. When I was little the switch would turn on and off randomly, and in only 5th grade I thought I was madly in love with this girl. I would follow her around, but never talk to her (I basically stalked her). This was during the time when I was still learning how to interact with people in socially acceptable ways that would not reveal what I was. Anyway, I loved this girl for almost a year and then overnight I simply stopped loving her. I never felt that emotion towards another person ever again. Another case of my odd emotional switch was in 7th grade when my classmates and I found a dead opossum the size of a large cat. My classmates screamed, and some began to cry. All I could do was stare at it and wonder how a motionless piece of fur and flesh could be valuable or meaningful to anyone. But a week later, something reminded me of the lifeless critter and I suddenly felt a pang of sickening remorse for the creature. Of course now, I could care less about it.

It wasn't until High School that I mastered my control over the emotional switch in my mind. I could turn on my emotions and get all touchy-feely with girls when I wanted to seduce them, or I could turn them off and do anything I pleased and feel no guilt. I was not simulating emotions, I actually felt them. I find this talent to be very useful, the only side effect is a rare sudden outburst of emotion immediately after turning on my emotions after long periods of numbing them.

I spend a lot of time trying to discipline my mind, so that I can mold it into what I want it to be. Creating one personality is easy. The hard part is developing two different personalities that you can interchange quickly and easily. There are actually two mental switches that you need to develop, one to go from your sociopath side to your emotional side, and another to go from your emotional side to your sociopath side. Usually I use an incredibly poignant memory to trigger my emotional side, and a very unnerving, desensitizing thought to trigger my sociopath side.
I responded: Have you seen this post? It sounds like what you are saying. Recently I've been starting to believe more and more that sociopathy is either an attentional defect myself or that attention plays a large part in how sociopathy manifests itself. This fits with your switch imagery -- if one's attention is directed at a particular emotion, sociopaths can feel the same sorts of things that normal people can. The difference is that it is not automatic, we have to make the conscious effort to focus our attention that way.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Small towns

There is incredible diversity amongst the sociopathic population. Although we share some physical/genetic/environmental characteristics, there are also many things that vary widely such as intelligence, ethnicity, race, age, socioeconomic status, gender, education, etc. These factors all affect the way our sociopathic traits manifest themselves making each one of us a special snowflake. In fact, when you consider the breadth and depth of influence that these factors have in a typical person, it's amazing that sociopaths are as similar as they are. One important environmental factor that I hadn't really considered before is the role of growing up in a small town vs. a larger city, and the stifling effect the former would have on sociopathic behaviors. From a reader:
I think focusing on impression management is key to the high-functioning part of "high-functioning psychopath". Nearly all of us mimic to give the impression that we are just like everyone else. Those of us who recognize that we can get more out of people if they want to give it to us just focus on our overall reputation a little more. Those of us who recognize that we can't control our baser urges every single time and may need some benefit-of-the-doubt cover, make a point to emanate safety and innocence.

I think the lack of understanding about the importance of impression management among others is probably due to one of three issues: One, the individual isn't a psychopath or anything like it. Two, the individual is not a high-functioning psychopath, and thus can't see the big-picture benefit. Three, the individual is a high-functioning psychopath, but has never lived in a small town or been part of some small sub-community within their city. I currently live in a decent-size city, and can see how easily anonymity is attained here. In a small town, most people know where most other people are most of the time, and what they are doing, so from a psychopath's perspective, it is a different world.

Being a child adds another complication. How you are viewed is inextricably linked to how your parent is viewed. Your power in the community derives from theirs. It was vital in playing my town--getting what I wanted when I wanted it--that my mother was viewed favorably. Now I'm doing the same thing for my spouse, who is in a career where image and reputation are very important.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

Sociopaths in media: Lie to me, Apt Pupil, Lolita

The episode "Beat the Devil" from season two of "Lie to Me" features a homicidal sociopath. Apart from the usual Hollywood sociopath stereotypes, there were some interesting insights into how a sociopath might react differently to emotional stimuli. Apart from this murderer of the week, the main character Cal Lightman is also sociopathic (at least enough for the other characters/viewers to sometimes wonder).

A reader had me watch the film Apt Pupil, which is based on a novella by Stephen King. The thing I liked about the film is that at any given time it is not clear who the sociopath(s) is/are or who is playing whom.

Speaking of which, I also just watched the Kubrick version of Lolita. I love the book. There is something so sensual about Nabokov's word choices, as if there were nothing more pleasurable than reading/writing the English language. The film was a bit of a disappointment, apparently because of censorship. The newer 90's version is allegedly more true to the book (and therefore presumably better). The best part about the film is that it has more of an omniscient narrator feel, so (I think) you get a better idea of the extent of Lolita's scheming. In the book Lolita is seems more of a victim.
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