Monday, September 13, 2010

Sociopaths in literature: Parolles

Parolles is from Shakespeare's "All's well that ends well," a play arguably about what lengths people will go to to survive according to their own terms. When Parolles (whose name means "words") has been unmasked as a scoundrel, he displays both self-knowledge and a lack of remorse when he asserts, "Simply the thing I am/ Shall make me live. . . ./There’s place and means for every man alive" (All’s Well, IV.iii.333-349).

Friday, September 10, 2010

Meeting expectations, playing on biases

I have been corresponding with the transwoman sociopath. I asked her:

I wanted to ask how has your gender or perceived gender influenced the way you act or interact with the world as sociopath. Do you find yourself hiding behind your transgender identity like a shield? In other words, if authority or government types give you a hard time, you'll just scream discrimination? Sexual harassment? Gender discrimination? Do you find it easier to hide as a sociopath being out as transgendered? For instance, I don't like being around people that others think should be just like me (same race, gender, background, religion, etc.) because I feel like they are expecting certain things, are on the lookout for any sort of deviance for those expectations. If I am around people different from me, they just see me as an "other," a stereotype, like the old joke, white people can't tell black people apart, black people can't tell asians apart, asians can't tell latinos apart, etc. When people see you, is all they see "woman" or "transgendered"? Do you use that expectation to your advantage?

She responded:
I would suggest my gender comes mainly into play for its quirkiness. I'm a fairly odd person and when I meet/interact with someone I'll be almost entirely dominant in conversation and will twist their points and pressure them throughout to watch them squirm about a bit. It becomes especially noticeable when I make it seem as if they have been transphobic or in some way offensive to me because they try to work back through their statements apologizing for the wrongs present in each one.

I'm very direct, blunt, sarcastic and piercingly logical. My dominance stems mainly from the way I turn peoples concepts upon themselves and make people feel rather stupid in the mean time. I am definitely more cautious around transgendered people for the reasons you stated. I do enjoy spending time with trans people though, even if only to study them more so that I can feign a good trans experience that isn't necessarily tied into anything sociopathic in nature.

Being sociopathic is easily hidden when I mention the "horrible" childhood I grew up with though. How much pain and suffering I went through is a sure fire way of getting people to not question my aggressive verbal domination and obvious manipulative discussions. But thats mainly because I nestle myself nicely into small groups of empaths, mainly the local queer community who are more than happy to let me into their friend circle and forgive my wrongs because they stem from such unspeakable trauma. I keep making reference to my scapegoat story of my childhood, I find this works well in most situations because people assume it is the cause of my darker nature and dominance as well as my transgenderism.

What I wrote above is not always the case though. Occasionally when I meet a particularly empathetic empath I will meet with them in private and have long emotional discussions with them in essence "pouring my heart out" while they diligently listen and feel dreadfully sorry for me. I listen to their life's story and usually delve deeper and deeper into their empathic root if the have one. For example a lot of them were sexually abused or raped by family members when they were younger, each time I met them I'd ask more about it and I pretty much always get an answer eventually. From "who was it?", "do you still see them?" all the way to "describe it how you remember" and listening to them intricately recount the memories that hurt them so. It gives me ammunition as well as an enjoyable time watching them cry and talk about things they don't want to remember, It makes me look like the caring friend that will always be there for them and who they can trust with anything that hurts them. So when I break that trust it makes it all the more cutting.

I'd say that my methods and aims are fairly female in type. I work almost entirely in mental methods to achieve almost entirely mental aims. I find these relationships with people I would consider strong empaths to be my favorite. They usually last a longer period of time, they fulfill my thirst for knowledge, they play perfectly into my hand to toy with and they give the strongest reactions whilst showing the most hurt . . . and they almost always come back and let me do it again.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Empath raised by a sociopath mother

From a reader:

I am writing to solicit a general opinion, perhaps begin a dialog. I seek information to help me become functional.

My biological mother is a sociopath, the "reputation preserving" kind, found a highly empathic "bulldozer"/dominant man, had three children with him (I am the eldest), and abused him into success past his desires or nature. Before gaining sufficient insight, I would say "my parents really should not have had kids"; simply put, these two would not "mate" in the wild and I have a host of mis-matched genes and medical issues to prove it.

My high empathy coupled with intelligence and a completely neglectful/abusive mother has left with me a "debillitatingly deep" understanding of humanity (and a psych degree didn't help either). "Sociopathic type" thinking (outside the box, seeking the cracks in the system) coupled with "empathic data" (I feel what they feel or at least know what they're feeling) means I know far far too much about another person, especially their own self-deception, especially the opinions they have of themselves or others that they might not even know themselves. I can easily "spot" lack-of-empathy types, as well as intelligent manipulative empaths. I do not have sufficient data to claim if I can "spot" a sociopath or not, but I would find the challenge interesting. Whatever else, to me, there is a sub-group of people that present excellent performances but, when considered fully (my empathy with body language analysis, etc.), there are "holes" in the performances. I perceive most people as at least 2 or 3 "layers"; I see through the masks.

While I have this "empathic wetware", I am inherently rational. I write to you because, unlike those on your site, I am "non functional". I have three degrees but no career or financial stability. I can make women feel instantly comfortable (too comfortable), counsel them to find other men but am incapable of attracting one myself; I have never had a girlfriend. The only time I can get laid is with sufficient booze to shut off my rational brain and seek out the nearest mountain troll.

I have developed "a program" that enables minimum social contact to prevent the madness of isolation until my father contracted cancer. I expended all my resources in an attempt to save him and keep myself on an even keel; my mother altered the will at the last minute
; she has won, I am broke with no good prospects for employment. This is a problem as previously I was "lucking out" from 3 major father-linked investments which provided the finances necessary to fuel my development.

Now I must survive in a different way, and am inherently rational, and whatever this "new way" is, I am still trying to figure out what that might be. Your site provides one possible way with some aspects, I think, to be emulated and used. Yet, when you feel another's hurt or pain, as they feel it, perhaps more so, this makes navigating the empathic world... difficult. The idea I use is that of shooting Bambi. In order for hunters to survive and kill furry woodland creatures to eat, is it not highly adaptive NOT to feel said creature's pain?

So.... do you have defenses against unwanted emotional stimuli that I might copy and use? Are there any questions I can answer about "empaths" and their ways? [I feel more deeply than they do, but I am not ruled by emotions; I choose rationality]. I have been to 53 countries and experience the full gamut of people's emotions as you describe as one of your goals, as a "sommelier". To me, human emotions are like wine - mostly the same broad stroaks but a whole range of possibility (see: 53 countries). A purely rational friend has dubbed me a "human to human dictionary". Those who are completely integrated (thoughts, feelings, behaviour) are like "cool glasses of water" as they can be taken at their word, they are relaxing. Everyone else presents some form of "red noise" or bullcrap to navigate through.

Whatever else, hopefully this email has been somewhat interesting.

"Martin McDonald"

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Psychology Study Finds Only 23 Percent of Britons Are Normal

So reads the title of an article discussing a recent study.
Of 8391 individuals interviewed and their personality status assessed, only a minority (n = 1933, 23%) had no personality pathology.
As another blog opined about the 23% normal: "Maybe they are best known as 'saints', or 'Übermenschen', or perhaps 'people who lie on questionnaires'."
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