Excerpts from an IM conversation with a reader:
M.E.: It's hard being in any sort of relationship with a sociopath
Reader: It makes me wonder what is the best relationship for a sociopath. I wonder why socios don't pair up more.
M.E.: Probably not enough glue to keep them together. There are times when I question pursuing even some of my most enduring and meaningful relationships, family and friends. Empaths can't ignore sunk costs, typically. If they've poured so much into a relationship, they feel the urge to keep investing even if the costs exceed the benefits. That makes them poor entrepreneurs (or great ones!), but good in relationships because they’re not just willing but wanting to stick through things when they get tough.
Reader: The attachment/bond added to the investment keeps them around...
M.E.: Exactly. Sociopaths don't feel that pull. Not as strongly, at least. I am constantly asking myself, “Is this relationship or plan of action providing more to me than I am giving to it?”
Reader: But I thought sociopaths could be extremely loyal
M.E.: Yes, they can be very loyal. There will typically always be some level of interaction at which it is worth pursuing a relationship.
Reader: Ah, so they're loyal when the relationship is clearly rewarding.
M.E.: Well, maybe instead of best friends they could be good friends, like downsizing, or going on a little hiatus. I think that most people’s experience with sociopaths is that they want to eventually come back and maintain some sort of contact. Just because they ignore the sunk costs does not mean they go so far as to ignore the investment/equity that is already there.
M.E.: It's hard being in any sort of relationship with a sociopath
Reader: It makes me wonder what is the best relationship for a sociopath. I wonder why socios don't pair up more.
M.E.: Probably not enough glue to keep them together. There are times when I question pursuing even some of my most enduring and meaningful relationships, family and friends. Empaths can't ignore sunk costs, typically. If they've poured so much into a relationship, they feel the urge to keep investing even if the costs exceed the benefits. That makes them poor entrepreneurs (or great ones!), but good in relationships because they’re not just willing but wanting to stick through things when they get tough.
Reader: The attachment/bond added to the investment keeps them around...
M.E.: Exactly. Sociopaths don't feel that pull. Not as strongly, at least. I am constantly asking myself, “Is this relationship or plan of action providing more to me than I am giving to it?”
Reader: But I thought sociopaths could be extremely loyal
M.E.: Yes, they can be very loyal. There will typically always be some level of interaction at which it is worth pursuing a relationship.
Reader: Ah, so they're loyal when the relationship is clearly rewarding.
M.E.: Well, maybe instead of best friends they could be good friends, like downsizing, or going on a little hiatus. I think that most people’s experience with sociopaths is that they want to eventually come back and maintain some sort of contact. Just because they ignore the sunk costs does not mean they go so far as to ignore the investment/equity that is already there.