Thursday, May 13, 2010

Playing doctor (part 2)

From a reader (cont.):
Looking back on that first email I can see that I have selected some 'terrible' things I have done on purpose. So perhaps a little insight into how I view the world generally would be more informing.

I look at things in a very logical way. But to an extent that seems 'wrong' to other people. I am a strong believer in the Law and Economics movement and tend to analyse everything through this lens. Often this is very tame: for instance, it seems fine to me that people should be allowed to sell their organs on an open market: this would clearly save lives.

Other times people seem more shocked. I see no problem, for instance, why a poor man who wishes to feed, educate and clothe his family should not be allowed to sell his right to live to another (even if it means being slowly tortured to death, or just slavery) in order to provide that. I have decided that violence against another without consent is usually wrong after reading Posner's enlightening arguments.

This has also led me to make 'racist' or 'sexist' conclusions, although I see only difference not superiority or inferiority. I never hesitate to make my viewpoint known and can always back it up with an arsenal of data and rationality. In any event I always build strong rapport with anyone I talk to so I can say more or less whatever I want.

I do feel like something is missing. But I don't think it is a complete lack of conscience. I don't think it is a complete void. I've never been completely honest in my life, however. I am always manipulating and lying. It has got to the point where there is really no difference for me. It is effortless... Sometimes I don't even notice I am doing it and I never really care afterwards. As I said, I've never been able to maintain a friendship.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Playing doctor (part 1)

A favorite childhood game of mine. Shall we give it a go?
Dear sir,

I just stumbled across your website. I hadn't really considered it but given what I tell you, what do you think is the chance? I don't really care either way but that would be funny.

I used to kill wasps when I was young. When I was 18 I caught a hedgehog in my garden, stabbed it right through and poured boiling water over it, hahaha lol. So I stabbed it again...then I impaled it with a shard of wood and threw it into my neighbour's garden. It was squealing for like an hour. When I saw its little face it almost looked human.

I used to get angry and kick my dogs. I really like them though.

When I was a little older, I was put into a mental hospital for telling a girl I was going to kill her. She pissed me off. I was never diagnosed though.

Past 5 years I've been studying law at one of the top universities in the world. It was only meant to take 3. But I just disappeared for two of them and did drugs and fucked prostitutes.

I've bled my parents dry. I get probably 1k dollars per week from my parents. They are idiots. I've spent it all on drugs and alcohol. I only just got internet cause I'm bored.

I've been caught drink driving a few times...idk. I had a job for a few months but I just left randomly during the day without telling anyone. Lost that, my dad got me that job so he looks like a retard now lol.

I don't have any real friendships. I cut everyone out when an important social circle dies. I've never been able to maintain a friendship.

But I would never consider myself a sociopath because I can get very angry about girls. When I know they like me I assume they are 'mine' and if they do otherwise I rage, sometimes for months. I can be quite obsessive. I think I'm just fucked up...what do you think?

Yours faithfully,
My response:
I don't think that getting "angry" at girls precludes the possibility of you being a sociopath. A more predictive indicator is that you seem apathetic about a vilified diagnosis, e.g., "I don't really care either way but that would be funny." Should we post your story on the blog and see what others think?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Raising cain

This is an interesting blog about raising an adopted son/psychopath. Here's a little teaser from the most recent post:
We came back home and checked the video tape. Remember the video system we installed? Yeah, we had it on. And he knew it.

Our camera was set up to look down the hallway past his bedroom and bathroom door. I left the light on in the hallway so the camera could record all night. The video showed me go into his room to kiss him goodnight and then head upstairs to bed. A minute later it showed Lucas come out of his room, look directly at the camera, turn the hallway light out and go back into his room. He knew exactly what he was doing.

A few minutes later the video showed my wife go into the bathroom. The light in Lucas’ bedroom was still on and it spilled out into the hallway, so the camera picked this up. The camera also picked up Lucas coming out of his room, getting down on his hands and knees, and looking under the bathroom door. A few minutes later Lucas hurriedly got up and ran back into his room, just as my wife exited the bathroom, completely unaware of what had just happened.

The camera showed my wife saying goodnight to Lucas and turning out Lucas’ bedroom light.

A few minutes later, after my wife had gone to bed, the light in Lucas’ closet turned on. I could tell it was the closet light because that light is fluorescent and looks blue on camera. That light turned off 25 minutes later and the camera recorded nothing more...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Sociopath quotes

"When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free. The outlaw lives as if that day were here, and I love that most of all."

— Tom Robbins [Still Life with Woodpecker]

Lying

Friends recommended this episode of "Radio Lab," I think because it tells the story of a rabid sociopath/narcissist con artist (not clear which). There was also some really interesting information about what the brain of a liar looks like:
Yang and her colleagues put all 49 people, both the liars and the non-liars, into a magnetic resonance imaging scanner and took pictures of their prefrontal cortex. They chose to focus on this area of the brain because previous studies had shown that the prefrontal cortex plays a role in both lying and in antisocial behaviors.

If you could look into this part of the brain, which sits right behind your forehead, you would see two kinds of matter: gray and white. Gray matter is the groups of brain cells that process information. Most neuroscience studies focus on gray matter. But nearly half the brain is composed of connective tissues that carry electrical signals from one group of neurons to another. This is white matter. Roughly, gray matter is where the processing happens, and white matter connects different parts of the brain, helping us to bring different ideas together.

The liars in Yang's study had on average 22 percent to 26 percent more white matter in their prefrontal cortex than both the normal and antisocial controls.

Yang speculates that the increase in white matter means that people who lie repeatedly and compulsively are better at making connections between thoughts that aren't connected in reality — like, say, "me" and "fighter pilot." Consequently, while some of us struggle to come up with reasons why we were late for work, or can't go out with someone we don't really like, Yang's liars impulsively serve up a heaping helping of excuses and stories, and fast.

"By having more connections," Yang says, "you can jump from one idea to another and you can come up with more random stories and ideas."

Admittedly, this study is just a first step. It doesn't show that more white matter in the prefrontal cortex accounts for all lying or that it's the only part of the brain involved. And the study does not establish whether the brain differences lead to lying or whether repeated lying somehow "exercises" connections in the brain. While the study was carefully designed to exclude differences that could be due to age, ethnicity, IQ, brain injury or substance abuse, the small sample size means the results need to be replicated. More research is needed to define what behaviors count as pathological lying and to establish the mechanism behind those behaviors.
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