Sunday, August 9, 2009

Suffering sociopaths?

People always ask me for good links to info on sociopaths. I always tell them no, there really is a dearth of good info about sociopaths written with any objectivity. For instance, the New Yorker had a terrible article about sociopaths last November, "Suffering Souls." I suffered, all right. I suffered reading through that didactic nonsense.

However, a reader recently commented about an article that I thought was unusually accurate, particularly from the medical community (no surprise that the author seems to be Dutch -- sounds like he is speaking a little too much from personal experience): "The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath." Speaking like only someone who is intimately acquainted with the subject matter could:
Psychopaths can suffer emotional pain for a variety of reasons. Like anyone else, psychopaths have a deep wish to be loved and cared for. This desire remains frequently unfulfilled, however, as it is obviously not easy for another person to get close to someone with such repellent personality characteristics. Psychopaths are at least periodically aware of the effects of their behavior on others and can be genuinely saddened by their inability to control it. The lives of most psychopaths are devoid of a stable social network or warm, close bonds.

The life histories of psychopaths are often characterized by a chaotic family life, lack of parental attention and guidance, parental substance abuse and antisocial behavior, poor relationships, divorce, and adverse neighborhoods (Martens, 2000). They may feel that they are prisoners of their own etiological determination and believe that they had, in comparison with normal people, fewer opportunities or advantages in life.

Despite their outward arrogance, inside psychopaths feel inferior to others and know they are stigmatized by their own behavior. Although some psychopaths are superficially adapted to their environment and are even popular, they feel they must carefully hide their true nature because it will not be accepted by others. This leaves psychopaths with a difficult choice: adapt and participate in an empty, unreal life, or do not adapt and live a lonely life isolated from the social community. They see the love and friendship others share and feel dejected knowing they will never take part in it.

Psychopaths are known for needing excessive stimulation, but most foolhardy adventures only end in disillusionment due to conflicts with others and unrealistic expectations. Furthermore, many psychopaths are disheartened by their inability to control their sensation-seeking and are repeatedly confronted with their weaknesses. Although they may attempt to change, low fear response and associated inability to learn from experiences lead to repeated negative, frustrating and depressing confrontations, including trouble with the justice system.

As psychopaths age they are not able to continue their energy-consuming lifestyle and become burned-out and depressed, while they look back on their restless life full of interpersonal discontentment. Their health deteriorates as the effects of their recklessness accumulate.
I know this will be unpopular with some of my "lifestyler" sociopath readers, but hey, it's at least 60% accurate. Even with these so-called "sorrows" of a sociopath, though, I wouldn't necessarily trade my life for an empath's. Rather this post is more a message to all you crazy kids out there: sociopathy isn't always everything it's cracked up to be. Stay empathetic and stay in school.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Sociopaths in the news

I was never a cat lover, either.
When police asked Weinman what tools would be needed to commit the cat killings, he responded, "I don't know, but I'm sure they are very well hidden," the documents state. When asked how the cats could have been captured, he responded, "They have to be either tranquilized or poisoned."

But Weinman's lawyer said none of the evidence directly connects his client to the crimes.

"It's really important to note that there's not one single witness in there that says Tyler Weinman touched a cat," said the attorney, David Macey.

Prosecutor Elijah Levitt said the affidavit "speaks for itself."

In one interview with police, the teenager reportedly became excited when he described a "tearing sound" when skin is ripped from a cat's body during dissections, according to the documents. But a high school teacher told investigators that no such noise occurs when cats that are dissected in a classroom setting because of the way the bodies are prepared.

After consulting with staff doctors in the Miami-Dade Police Department's psychological services section, detectives concluded that Weinman fit the profile of a sociopath.

Macey called it "junk science," and said it will be proven false.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Aspies in the news

Aspies are like the prom king of personality disorders. That's right, you heard me aspies. I called you personality disordered. Money quote of how much people love aspies, discussing the film Adam:
"Mr. Mayer, 54, grew up on the Upper West Side and was interested in developmental psychology before being drawn into theater and film. He says the inspiration for “Adam” came when he heard a radio interview about Asperger’s while driving in California and became so “emotionally involved” that he had to pull off the road."
Imagine if people wrote this sort of stuff about sociopathy:
“Adam is about life, not his disability,” said Jonathan Kaufman, the founder of the Manhattan-based consulting agency DisabilityWorks Inc., who worked as a technical adviser on the film. “It uses his Asperger’s as the lens that colors his life, not the central focal point. It’s about relationships, love, family. The illness is not separate from the person.”
Yeah, I think it is tragic that they have no empathy, are completely focused on one thing (themselves), and are a leech on society's resources. Who else does that sound like? Can we be your prom queen, aspies? We're meant for each other.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Ten lepers

I tell people to keep in touch with me when I "help" them "answer" their "questions," and sometimes people do a little, but it never continues even a month after. I'm curious: do any of you still read the site? For those of you wondering if you, your roommate, or your lover is a sociopath, did you ever reach a conclusion? Particularly the empaths in love with sociopaths, did any of my advice really help? Any of my tactics really work? Are you happily involved in a loving relationship with a sociopath now? Or happily finally over him because at last you came to some understanding?

Answer here if you don't mind, with a link to your question if it was posted.

My prediction, though, is that no one will respond, and I haven't decided yet what that says about the efficacy of my advice (or the staying power of empaths reading a blog about sociopaths with any sort of regularity).

Monday, August 3, 2009

Sociopath tip of the day

It's hard to fake real emotions, particularly when the expected emotional response is complex or is unusual enough that you haven't had much experience witnessing it, much less practicing it well enough to be considered genuine. Better to instead come up with a lie about why you aren't having the expected emotional response. For instance, I had a close family member die. I didn't feel like making a big deal out of it but I also had to be out of town for a while, so I had to let some people know about it. Some were surprised that I didn't seem that upset. Luckily I had a readymade excuse: "It was expected. S/he had actually survived longer than we thought, so we are just grateful for the time that we did have with him/her." Voila. Death suddenly becomes something that you could legitimately take in stride.
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