Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sociopaths advise on how to deal with sociopaths, part I

There aren't many places for sociopaths in this world, even on the World Wide Web. There's the elite sociopath website, this blog, and a couple other brave souls I've seen outing themselves anonymously. In contrast, there are a ton of sites and support groups for victims of sociopaths. Sociopaths frequently troll these adding their two cents. And so here we have sociopaths giving advice on how to deal with sociopaths:

"If he's not out to get something else from you (sex, money, whatever), but is after a "relationship", then the following is what happens in my experience: For a brief while, the psychopath "feels" something. He can fool himself into being the very thing that he longs for so dearly: normal. When you're gone, though, his patterns begin to slip. They begin to fade as any memory does. Remember that he can't hang his memories on anything because there is no core to hang them on. To him, you've got part of him walking around in you. He wants that back. If someone had taken a part of who you are, what would you go through to have it again?"

"Psychopaths are natural masters of body language and nuance as it is a survival skill."

"I've always had anger as long as I can remember. I'm thinking it is the one emotion it seems I can really FEEL."

"It doesn't bother me in the least if people are angry. I believe I rather enjoy it. I'm thinking since I can't have love, might as well have hate."

"I adore a good fight! Not many things will stop me from causing strife wherever I go. I have to have a pretty good reason not to start disassembling social structures."

"The repeated references to narcissists lacking emotion and being unable to love others seems straight out of the typewriter of proselytising evangelists who couldn't made a sentence without relying on either a misconception, an exaggeration, an outright lie, or, as here, irrational generalisations. Did you study your manual? Do you have it all memorised so you can strike out at your proverbial abuser with incomplete medical information and a malicious lack of understanding? At least I've never accused someone of being less-than-human. I just proclaim myself as greater-than-human. Heh."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

On a friend asking if I'm a sociopath

I sort of self-diagnosed myself five years ago. It seemed to fit. Not everything, of course. I believe that there is a spectrum of the emotionally impaired like there is a spectrum of the blind or the deaf. You are legally blind without your glasses, right? But that doesn't mean that you consider yourself in the same category as completely blind people. Similarly, I may be emotionally impaired without necessarily being handicapped. I think there is a big difference in terms of how people can function in the world depending on where they fall on the spectrum. But I do think that emotional language is like a second language to me. I have to go through several different deductions before I can "empathize" with people, and not just sometimes but most of the time. I do think that I use different strategies to navigate the world than most people--that I have different wiring.

I definitely have sociopathic impulses. I find myself ignoring urges to kill or do great bodily harm to ignoring a temptation to ruin somebody, to even just ignoring the invitation to view the world in a way that would push me to engage in excessively risky behavior. These urges cloud my judgment and take me away from the person I want to be, so I try not to indulge them. I treat them like hallucinations instead. They feel very real, everything feels so real, but I have experienced them frequently enough to know that they are wrong--that I will regret acting on them. So I try to ignore them, just like I would try to ignore the image of a monster breathing fire in my peripheral vision.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Overheard at a family wedding

Future in-laws during a toast: "And we'd like to thank the _______ family, who has completely seduced us."

Cousin: "Not surprising, from a family that reads how-to books on seduction."

Outting Myself?

M.E.: I'm planning on outing myself as a sociopath in my next book club meeting for East of Eden. What do you think? Good idea or bad idea?
Friend: Hm. People don't really understand what you mean by that. They just think you are being facetious, and East of Eden is not the venue for facetiousness
M.E.: Well, it has the one character who is a sociopath, right? People always say she is this caricature of evil when really she is just like a textbook sociopath.
Friend: I dunno buddy. Why out yourself?
M.E.: Maybe I don’t want to be ashamed of it. I feel like it is the topic of the day for me, so to speak.
Friend: are you ashamed?
M.E.: No, but why would i need to lie about it?
Friend: No one is asking you if you are one. Don’t ask don’t tell. :)
M.E.: I seriously feel like these are my people and we are constantly being maligned.
Friend: Buddy... I think the only sociopaths that are maligned are the ones that hurt people. You don’t hurt people.
M.E.: Don’t I?
Friend: Well, maybe the approach should be like--hey, I have problems, don’t understand social norms, but I adapt and learn... blah blah blah. And that's not entirely true... I think people are really coming around about people with autism and Aspergers. Sociopath implies serial killer.
M.E.: I know! Oppression!
Friend: Well, considering the other popular -path is psychopath...

Monday, October 13, 2008

House, MD: Sociopaths Making Friends

Dr. House, of the TV show House, MD, is a sociopath. House, like Dexter, is sympathetically portrayed--perhaps even more so than Dexter. But recently his fictional best friend Wilson has been hating on him. House sort of kills his best friend's girlfriend Amber, and then tries to apologize:
"I'm sorry. I know I didn't try to kill her. I know I didn't want to hurt. I know it was a freak accident. But I feel like crap and she's dead because of me."
"I don't blame you. I wanted to. I tried to. I must have reviewed Amber's case file a hundred times to find a way— but it wasn't your fault."
"Then we're okay? I mean I know you aren't but— Maybe I can help."
Wilson finally responds, with lots of pauses while in spite of all his habits to spare House, Wilson tells him what he's really feeling. "We're not okay. Amber was never the reason I was leaving. I didn't want to tell you because— because I was trying like I always do to protect you, which is the problem. You spread misery because you can't feel anything else. You manipulate people because you can't handle any kind of real relationship. And I've enabled it. For years. The games. The binges. The middle-of-the-night phone calls. I should have been the one on the bus not—" Wilson catches himself doing what he has always done. "You should have been alone on the bus. If I've learned anything from Amber it's that I have to take care of myself." Wilson picks up the last of his belongings before walking out with these parting words. "We're not friends any more, House. I'm not sure we ever were."
House doesn't know whether Wilson is serious or not, so gives him a long leash. After giving him space for a while, he tests the water again, knocks on the door to Wilson's house and tells him:
"I need an epiphany. What are you billing out at? Three Hundred an hour? Here's four."
"There are other oncologists."
"Better oncologists. But I need you. Let me describe the symptoms, problems, issues, you say whatever you feel like saying until something triggers an idea in my head."
"That's not the way it works."
"You have a way of thinking about things.It's sloopy, it's undisciplined, it's not very linear. It compliments mine. It drives me down avenues that I wouldn't otherwise—"
"House, please go away."
House tries to continue discussing the case until Wilson tries to shut the door on him. Then he stops the door from closing and asks, "How are you?"
"Don't do this. Please. Please, don't do this. I'm trying to move on."
House isn't willing to give up and after asking some more, admits, "I paid a private investigator to spy on you."
"You didn't."
"If you want to move on from me, you've got to deal with me, talk to me."
"You have no right."
"We're not friends anymore. There's no trust to be breached. I can have you followed, I can call you names, tell your secrets..."
"I have the right to walk away from you, House. There's a world beyond you. You need to realize that and even if you don't I'm moving on. The next time you knock, I'm not answering."
Now of course I side with House. Is there any reason I could be wrong?
Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.