Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Interview with an Empath (part III)

M.E.: So how did you discover that your friend was a sociopath?

Empath
: The hard way.

M.E.
: Is there any other way?

Empath
: Not that I know of. I actually don't know how we've managed to stay friends for so long. At one point, I didn't speak to him for two years because he slept with my girlfriend and wrote me a letter basically rubbing it my face. I was devastated. Through a few discussions with him over time, I began to realize that he is a sociopath or, at least, very close. It was like . . . I had to explain to him on an intellectual level how wrong what he did was. I began to see he couldn't really understand on a gut empathetic level, why his actions would be so devastating.

M.E.
: Ha, yeah, that sounds like textbook sociopath.

Empath
: I used to comment, during that period, that I wouldn't have been surprised if I went over to his house and found body parts in his freezer. But he has external constraints that I think would prevent him from ever going that way. Not that he necessarily would have, of course.

M.E.
: Of course.

Empath
: But my friend is a brilliant, original thinker. Although his worldview is constantly evolving and changing. He gets very irritated when I talk about spirituality and love or compassion, which he views as primarily aspects of bourgeois decadence as manifested in current culture. I could go on. He is most likely a sociopath, but I love him dearly. Most people I know can't understand why I "tolerate" him. He is strange and brilliant and interesting and . . . so different from everyone else I know. Not in an everyone-repeat-after-me-"we-are-all-individuals" kind of way. You know?

M.E.
: sure.

Empath
: Anyway, I have come to respect and (sort of) understand him for what he is.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Obama: Narcissist?

Normally I wouldn't even bother discussing narcissists, given my deep disdain for them. But after reading this article asking whether President Obama has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I thought it was worth posting. Of course I don't condone the outing of anyone on the personality disorder spectrum, particularly those who are empathy challenged. I know Obama supporters will be offended by this analysis, but what I find more controversial is that the author suggests that we have mandatory personality disorder testing for politicians. What?! First step politicians, second step internment camps for all empathy-challenged. And just because some narcissistic politicians have done bad things doesn't mean a whole lot of them haven't done good. Let's hear it for Bill Clinton!

Interview with an Empath (part II)

Empath: There are things to appreciate about sociopaths, like my friend. His special areas of interest are mass mind control, individual manipulation, and "performance art." I cannot consciously allow myself to manipulate people the way he does, but there is something brilliant about it that I have to respect. And he often restrains himself from the most outrageous behavior if I request it.

M.E
.: Outrageous behavior?

Empath
: I used to be disgusted and horrified by some of his antics. He has moved beyond the base, largely. By base, I mean obsession with the writings of Sade, completely depraved porn, pointless cruelty, and the practice of shocking people just for the fun of it. Now he has aimed his sights on larger issues, issue at more of a societal than personal level.

M.E.
: But he still is an artist, so to speak?

Empath
: So to speak. My friend will find things that really irk someone and touch upon their deepest insecurities and just nail them with it. He likes to claim he is breaking down their character structure so that they can be rebuilt without these insecurities. He will encourage women to prostitute themselves and then describe it for his amusement. He will deliberately taunt people he knows have been abused or hurt in some way--sometimes I think he does it just to observe and see what they will do.

M.E.
: Interesting. Sounds sort of like Bunuel's Viridiana, which should be a sociopath favorite if it isn't already.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Interview with an Empath (part I)

M.E.: You were the one who first outted me as a sociopath. Do you remember that?

Empath
: I don't specifically remember "outting" you, but it is very likely given my history with sociopaths.

M.E.
: So you have outted other sociopaths as well?

Empath
: At least one, an old and dear friend. And maybe others. I don't know, people come to me a lot with crises of identity.

M.E.
: How did you get to be so good at sniffing out sociopaths?

Empath
: I don't purposely seek out sociopaths, unless it is completely subliminal. Remember, you randomly got placed with me in the office at that internship. What I have been able to do is recognize that sociopaths are more numerous than most people assume. And I know a bit of what to look for, having been so close to one for so long. Although I suspect there is a lot of "diversity" among the "sociopath community." hehehe

M.E.
: Ha, nice scare quotes.

Empath
: Also perhaps having been "out" to myself as queer since an early teenager, I am able to recognize and appreciate those who are outside the norm. I don't know.

M.E
.: So you think you being gay has somehow given you sociodar?

Empath
: I think it has given me an awareness of things outside the norm. My world view allows me to recognize the "good" or the "beautiful" everywhere.

M.E.
: Even in the tiny black heart of a sociopath, apparently.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Tyra Banks: Sociopath?


Should Tyra Banks be added to our closet sociopath wishlist? According to one observer, yes:
Why do I think Tyra has no empathy? Well, for example, she often does rating stunts on her talk show wherein she’ll dress up as somebody she’s not (homeless person, stripper, a man) and she’ll be utterly astounded at how this new character she’s portraying sees the world. I mean, the closest I’ve ever been to being homeless is being locked out of my apartment for a few hours, but if you asked me whether or not being homeless sucks, I would vote yes. I can imagine how degrading it must be to beg for food, how difficult it must be to live on the streets or even in shelters, and how heart-wrenching it must be to have your world turned upside down and live by a whole new set of rules.

But T. Banks? She can’t imagine it. When she pretended to be homeless for a day (seriously, a day), she was utterly astounded by the whole experience. In other words, until she actually experienced homelessness, it wasn’t real for her.
An (incorrect?) distinction between narcissism vs. sociopathy:
She’s not just a narcissist; Tyra Banks has absolutely no sense of empathy. Having no ability to empathize is what (many websites tell me) catapults someone from simple narcissism to sociopathy.
And the unexpectedly tolerant conclusion:
I’m not saying that Tyra’s going to go out and do something awful (other than her talk show, boom, rim shot!) to anybody. She’s not dangerous at all. In fact, what I am saying, is that all of the behavior that people chalk up to a variety of unflattering causes, well, it’s not Tyra’s fault.
Kudos to this friendly young man for his open-mindedness regarding sociopaths and their potential for good in this society.
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