Showing posts with label sociopathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sociopathy. Show all posts

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Narcissistic father

This is an interesting letter from a self-deceived narcissist father, allegedly of a sociopath son, to an online psychologist. The letter rants for quite some time about how evil the son is and how opposite the father is. The father is a self-proclaimed "empath," the opposite of a sociopath, what I have termed before an uber-empath for lack of a better term. The psychologist, to his credit, calls him out on his inconsistencies and ego-driven statements: "I am afraid that I cannot buy into any of the ideas you put forth in your letter; they all seem to me to be rationalizations meant to make this tragic situation easier to bear, and perhaps, as I will explain, to mask your own shortcomings in the empathy department." In response to the father's description of himself:
At a funeral I am unable to maintain my composure. When I grieve I feel overwhelming, debilitating pain. At those time I look at "normal" people being stoically sad, and I feel that they are callous. I see a chasm between myself and the mass of humanity who has so much less passion and so feels sadness, happiness, and pleasure in much smaller amounts than I.
The psychologist responds:
[T]he excessive emotionality you describe in yourself is not what I would call empathy at all. As I understand it, empathy is the entirely normal and usual human ability to tune in to the feelings of others as if feeling them oneself. That is all. Empathy really has nothing to do with the exaggerated grieving you describe. When the grief is yours, and you feel great pain, that is not empathy, but self-pity, for, as I say, empathy means tuning in on the feelings of another person, not experiencing your own feelings more deeply than you assume that others do. I say "assume," for, based on your letter, I do not think that you really know much about what others feel—you seem to be too wrapped up in your own emotional world really to comprehend the inner experiences of other humans. Since I do not know you personally, I could be mistaken about this, but I do not think so.
***
To me, a high level of emotional capacity would not mean being overwhelmed by emotions, but quite the opposite. To me, it would mean being able to experience and contain a wide range of emotions of various kinds without being overwhelmed by them. And, sorry to say, I must agree with you that your attitude does have the aroma of ego-mania as you said of yourself. In fact, an egomaniac, which you say you are, is the opposite of an empathic person: the egomaniac is all wrapped up in himself and his own feelings; the empathic person constantly relates to the feelings and concerns of others as well as his or her own. I agree with you also that you are objectifying your fellow humans in a rather strange way, which also is quite the opposite of empathy since empathy, in its purest form, sees no gap between self and others. In other words, the empathic person does not objectify others, but experiences, second-hand of course, their subjectivity.
The psychologist goes on to whine about the horrors of war, blah blah blah. The father, caught redhanded in his self-deceived web of lies, starts backpedaling, replying in the most bizarre fashion that he made it all up, with additional sociopaths-are-evil rhetoric thrown in for good measure:
You had previously stated that it is difficult or impossible for a therapist to empathize with a sociopath. You are right. It is also impossible for me to do so. As you stated the theories which I presented are garbage.

What I was really trying to ascertain was whether you would be able to provide therapy for my son. Whether you would be able to win his trust and some modicum of respect from him.

I am sorry that I had to fabricate this nonsense about the existence of "empaths," lump yourself and myself in that category, and then add Genghis Khan and Hitler to the group for good measure. That was a little excessive, but necessary for me to ascertain your ability to deal with morally and emotionally challenging statements that are reasonably well articulated. That is nothing compared to what my son would say to you in sessions! He is much smarter than I am, and exhibits a level of callousness that would make your blood run cold!
According to the father, he was just "testing" the psychologist to see whether he would really be a suitable therapist for the son. Having obviously failed the test, the father asks for a recommendation of someone more qualified:
If you have any recommendations on how I can find someone who can provide therapy for my son I would be deeply grateful. I believe that person should possess remarkable levels of emotional intelligence, incredible levels of objectivity, and be a phenomenal critical thinker (able to look beyond the 1st, 2nd and 3rd levels of communication). I know that is a tall order, but my son will be able to fool anyone who does not posses these traits, and he will not respect them.
The psychologist, to his discredit, believes the father implicitly, apologizes profusely while justifying himself, "A good therapist can go very much deeper in a face to face conversation--body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, feelings in the room, etc., all speak volumes—but anybody can hide behind words on a page as you did. . . . The problem is not one of an intelligence gap as you seem to think—despite your little experiment I am notoriously hard to fool tete-a-tete." Are people really this easy to fool? I mean, I know they are, but the psychologist knew the father was off from the first letter, and the proffered excuse was so flimsy! I know I always hate on narcissists, but really guys? This is the best you can do? I guess there's no reason to do more when there is apparently no need. Still, what a hack job. And I say "allegedly sociopathic son," but speaking from experience as the child of a narcissist, I wouldn't be surprised if the son was actually a sociopath.

So many disturbing things about this exchange, but I guess those are the highlights. Sigh.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sociopath quotes: evolution

“Man is something that ought to be overcome... All beings so far have created something beyond themselves; and do you want to be the ebb of this great flood and even go back to the beasts rather than overcome man? What is the ape to man? A laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. And man shall be just that for the overman: a laughingstock or a painful embarrassment...”

Friedrich Nietzsche, ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Borderline personality disorder and sociopaths: one big empathy-challenged family

As sociopaths we all have a baby sister named Borderline Personality Disorder. (This woman has a real sister with BPD and wrote a book based partially on her experiences). I say sister because unlike sociopaths, who are primarily male, BPDs are primarily female. She's a little sister because on the danger/power spectrum of the empathy-challenged, she is closer to the aspie's and the autie's than the narcissists or sociopaths. But don't underestimate her -- she can be nefarious when she wants to be. Though she's more likely to steal a spouse than to steal $50B.

The BPD is a lot of things, but most interesting to me is the skill with which she sheds one skin after another. For narcissists the mirror is always pointed at themselves, but for BPDs the mirror is always pointed at others -- allowing those around them to see exactly what they want to see.* For instance, under the title Meet the Marriage Magnet, this self-confessed chameleon explains why she believes she received nine marriage proposals:
I was living like a trainee Stepford Wife

Young and still experimenting with my sense of self, I was happy to pursue their pastimes, agree with their politics, even wear clothes they liked.
***
Besides, I find it easy to understand other points of view or problems and I get close to people quite quickly. I'm always interested in other people's hobbies, families and their lives - I suppose that's why I'm a writer.

This intimacy can be misinterpreted for a lot, lot more than mere curiosity. My boyfriends assumed I was smitten with them because I fell into the habit of moulding myself into their ideal.
A similar character can be found in Edith Wharton's short story "The Other Two," wherein the third and current husband of Mrs. Alice Waythone encounters the first two husbands by chance and is distressed to discover that these men -- who share nothing in common with him -- each had a relationship with his wife quite similar to his own. As professor Cynthia Griffin Wolff puts it:
To each and every one of these three quite different men, Alice Waythorne had been the perfect wife: eager to please, ready and willing to adjust her behavior and desires to those of her husband. Gradually, as Mr. Waythorne lets this fatal knowledge penetrate his judgment, the very qualities he had most admired in his wife begin to seem grotesque and deformed. He wonders who she is, wonders whether she is anybody at all in particular. He marvels at her personality, "for it was an art, and made up, like all others, of concessions, eliminations and embellishments; of lights judiciously thrown and shadows skillfully softened."
I have a friend who was married to a woman with BPD and had a similar lament -- he never knew who she was, or if what she felt was real. It makes me wonder -- even if sociopaths became truly harmless, would we ever be accepted? Or do our neurological differences represent an unbridgeable divide between us and empaths? If a Stepford wife-type creeps people out, do socios stand a chance?


*sociopaths are probably best described as being behind a two-way mirror.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Silencing the devil

Sometimes I feel like I have a devil and angel on my shoulders trying to convince me how to behave. More devil than angel, of course. In the books on which the TV show Dexter is based, the fictional Dexter refers to his devil as "the Dark Passenger." (Apparently. I haven't read the books, but so says wikipedia.) It's an interesting idea -- how do sociopaths perceive their identity? Is it split? Is there a devil tempting them to do things they otherwise wouldn't? With Dexter, the Dark Passenger is the one that wants to do all the killing. When Dexter can no longer ignore it, he "lets the Dark Passenger do the driving." That sounds plausible enough, until the books get all voodoo:
In Dexter in the Dark, the third novel of the series, it is revealed through third person narrative of an entity referred to as "IT" that the Dark Passenger is an independent agent inhabiting Dexter, rather than a deviant psychological construction. "IT" is revealed to be Moloch, a god worshipped in Biblical times. The Dark Passenger is one of ITs many offspring: IT had many children (formed through human sacrifice), and IT learned to share ITs knowledge with them. Eventually, there were too many, and IT killed the majority, some of whom escaped into the world. In the novel, Dexter learns of the Dark Passenger's true nature when it briefly "leaves" him, frightening him into researching possible reasons for its existence.
The demon angle is ridiculous, but again, maybe that is just how Dexter deals with his impulses. Because that is what I think the Dark Passenger really represents, and for me the little devil on my shoulder equals impulses. Everyone has impulses, and sociopaths are notorious for having poor impulse control -- at least those in prison. I am a highly rational person, always weighing the costs and benefits of every action, but I can still succumb to ill-advised impulses some of the time. That's my devil, always trying to get me into trouble. As I grow older, the impulse-control has actually gotten worse instead of better. When I was a child, I was used to people looking over my shoulder all the time, so keeping my own behavior in check was a more immediate concern. Adults don't have the same external restraints. For instance, I am frequently tempted to "ruin people" or lash out in anger. Recently I've been looking for ways to not just ignore or suppress these impulses, but to tame them. I am getting too secure in my career and position in society to risk having a blowout over nothing. I have found that swimming laps helps a lot; the rhythm and the white noise are very soothing. I have also recently discovered tai chi. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but it really works wonders for soothing the mind. You have to do something, otherwise you'll end up in prison or a social pariah or worse.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Relationship with a sociopath: breaking up is hard to do

A(nother) reason that many sociopaths like to be around people, have friends, be in relationships, etc.:
Rejection resonates with a primal threat, one the brain seems designed to highlight. [I]n human prehistory being part of a band was essential for survival; exclusion could be a death sentence, as is still true today for infant mammals in the wild. The pain center [that triggers actual physical pain at real or impending social isolation] may have evolved this sensitivity to social exclusion as an alarm signal to warn of potntial banishment--and presumably to prompt us to repair the threatened relationship.

When our need for closeness goes unmet, emotional disorders can result. . . . Social rejection--or fearing it--is one of the most common causes of anxiety. Feelings of inclusion depend not so much on having frequent social contacts or numerous relationships as on how accepted we feel, even in just a few key relationships.
Also from Social Intelligence. This interesting because I can feel severe anxiety at the prospect of a break up, resulting in nausea, headaches, and other intense physical pain. A relative of mine (also sociopath) gets the same -- always in the toilet vomiting when his girlfriend threatens to leave him. I don't know whether all socios are that way, but I imagine that they at least find isolation or abandonment to be unpleasant.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Sociopaths categorically get excluded from neuro diversity movement


Under the headline, "Neurodiversity editorial: Do we have to accept sociopaths?":

Yay for neurodiversity. History-making artists, scientists, politicians -- were any neurotypical? Probably not. But then who is? Up with neurodiversity.

Yet, I’m a huge hypocrite: I just can’t get with the whole sociopaths-are-just-another-neuro-diverse-population gig.

On the one hand, it’s true: sociopathy is organic. Just like kidney stones. On the whole, kidney stones are seen an illness; a little free will with diet, but, in general, involuntary. Same with sociopathy. Some contextual free-will, but not much. I know that. Predators are predators, sociopaths are sociopaths, that’s what they do.

Contrast autistic spectrum disorders. I’m totally ok with that neurodiversity. Both autistic spectrum and sociopaths lack “empathy” (although there are profound other differences, which I won’t go into here). Why am do I grade these two organic conditions differently, having neurotolerance for autistic spectrum, and no tolerance whatsoever for sociopaths?

Fear. I’m fearful because wild-type sociopaths roaming free in society are capable of huge swaths of destruction, and I can’t tell who they are. They look so lifelike. It’s context. I understand the ecological niche for rattlesnakes. But NIMBY. If sociopaths were culled from the herd, and put somewhere where they couldn’t do any harm, I’d be much more benevolent. I know this is inconsistent. But is it wrong?

If society tested first graders, and herded off the proto-sociopaths into a special needs class, I’d feel sympathy. “Oh, look,” I might say as older vo-tech school sociopaths get off the bus with guidance counselors at Broad and Wall to work the bond trading desk, “how sweet. ” And I’d probably feel good and righteous, and probably tell other people, “I saw the sociopath school bus today. They were all wearing their “Do Not Approach- I’m A Sociopath” badge, and not one put up a fuss. What a great thing for them.”
The author suggests using the crossed out devil logo above to signify your intolerance for sociopaths. I know I don't even have to say it, but it might as well be:

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sociopath quotes: Monsters

Friedrich Nietzsche:

Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sociopath utopia?

Many detractors have suggested rounding up sociopaths and sticking them on an island somewhere. This sociopath reader suggests sociopaths rounding themselves up and living in a sociopath commune:
Hey I posted a few times on your site, think its a grand place. I respect your point of view. I live in the middle of nowhere. I decided to build my village into something more. In my homeland we (sociopaths) govern ourselves. Nothing to stop it from happening. Just no one's thought of it yet. I see how it can be made. "Whatever the mind . . . can conceive it can achieve." I want to build homes and one day a University. A place to learn for free, a place for Logical thinkers, dedicated to evolution(of the mind and body). I learned to calculate from empaths (four out of five people in this area), the rest are socios and then the sane (it won't be changeing the over all populations way of thinking/planning/living, just a larger scale).

I don't want to hide, and I want rights. Would you live in a place that you were consittered in the 'norm'? Is that such a crazy idea? Theres enough of us out there. If we have nothing to gain from eachothers defeat, can't we work together as a whole? The last thing on my mind is to make waves for the world. I want -peace-. Is change possable, while maintaining peace? Would it be possable to keep such a place stable? Im tired of singing the Un-birthday song.

I've been called the Devil. I may very well be evil, but thats Just a point of view! I value your thoughts. I may let this pass and let the next generation think of it (But where would the fun be in that?). Is it worth the trek? To be accepted. Through out history, socios would have been labled heros... Im not looking for somethin so high, I would just like to be labled human beings. Maybe Im just ahead of my time.

I hope to call you friend,
-Daemon.
Thanks Daemon. I have sometimes wondered what a society of sociopaths would be like, or at least a society where sociopaths can come out of the closet. I think sociopaths are generally disassociative, though. I wonder if they would willingly band together unless pressured to do so by some sort of empath/sociopath war. And there are some of us who insist that we stick to our old, parasitical ways of doing things, which would preclude outting ourselves and living in a commune. Thoughts?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

James Bond: Sociopath

Matt Damon, in an interview with the Miami Herald, outs fictional spy hero James Bond as a sociopath:
Damon has acted in several spy movies, including three as discarded CIA superassassin Jason Bourne, and he has developed some very strong opinions on the subject. Do not, for instance, compare that unctuous James Bond fellow to the misguided but moral Bourne.

''They could never make a James Bond movie like any of the Bourne films,'' Damon says scornfully. ``Because Bond is an imperialist, misogynist sociopath who goes around bedding women and swilling martinis and killing people. He's repulsive."

Friday, January 30, 2009

Sociopaths in the news: lawyers

Effects of alcohol on a budding, Obama-esque young sociopath, soon-to-be lawyer:
A promising Harvard Law School standout told cops during a bizarre drunken tirade that he would “lie and cheat” to ruin them if - as a future attorney - he ever calls them to a witness stand, police said.

“A statement like that really has no place in the practice of law,” said Jake Wark, spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Daniel Conley, who took Charles Claudio Simpkins on last fall as an intern and will now prosecute him on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

A police report states that Simpkins, 24, made the threat early Saturday morning, just four months from graduation, as he spilled out of a Theater District bar and into the back of a Boston police cruiser, barking to officers, “Give me a (expletive) ride, I work for the district attorney’s office.”

A proud conservative, Simpkins seemed destined for a future of unlimited potential.

A graduate of City College of New York, where he majored in philosophy and political science, Simpkins was in 2005 named a Harry S. Truman Scholar for his devotion to public service. He has studied abroad and appeared on several major networks, as well as on YouTube.com, discussing politics.

In a post in September, one political blogger said Simpkins “is what Obama could have been.”

A former CCNY classmate gushed online, “Like Barack, Claudio is also . . . politically active, handsome, and has more honors than I can count.”

But any White House dreams may now be in jeopardy.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Do sociopaths love?

Yes. Sociopaths can love with a selfish intensity that puts other love to shame. Their love is a devouring, consuming sort of love. When I love someone, I feel like I want to inhale them -- to literally suck out their soul. When I kiss someone, I try to do just that.

Love may be blind for empaths, but a sociopath sees your faults clearly and loves you still. The sociopath's piercing eyes are not only unsettling because of their unwavering constancy, but because the sociopath's eyes can pierce through to your very soul, leaving you naked before his gaze. The sociopath's ignorance or disinterest in social norms means that he will not see you as the world sees you but how you truly are. They're free of the rose-colored glasses empaths falling in "love" often wear. I imagine this ability would be particularly appealing to those whose role in society doesn't reflect their true worth: members of disfavored races or socioeconomic backgrounds, the too-smart-for-their-own-good crowd, the still-waters-run-deep.

Sociopaths have a genius for adoring. Their understanding of your wants and needs matched with their charm and flexible personality mean that they can and will literally become the man or woman of your dreams. In fact, when I love, my first step is to gather as much information as possible about every aspect of the person's life in order to more closely resemble their ideal mate.

The closest analog to a sociopath's love is probably the love of a child: intense, accepting, selfish. And finally, like a child, the sociopath will be extremely loyal. A sociopath will never put you above himself, but he will readily put you above all others.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Regret

I don't know if I have ever felt remorse, but I've definitely felt regret. I have several formerly close friends/former love interests who no longer speak to me. The first couple times it happened were particularly heart breaking. I was just starting to realize that I was different, but reckless about it still and a little in denial about the extent of the difference. To one I even confessed that I had a tendency to treat people in my life like paper napkins -- use them all up and then dispose of them. I didn't really mind being different back then, but I already understood how toxic it could be to others.

One particular old incident still haunts me. I had a rocky friendship with someone I admired a great deal. A long school trip coincided with our most recent fight, and we had to spend time together on a bus. At one point in the trip we were stopped and I watched my friend get off the bus. I looked out the window and saw the person engaged in an impromptu game with classmates. Taking advantage of the moment, I rifled through my friend's belongings and found a personal notebook/journal. I was so desperate to know what my friend thought of me that I immediately starting skimming it. Less than a minute later i looked out the window and couldn't see my friend anywhere. I panicked, threw the notebook down on the ground, and started running for the bus door where I encountered the friend. Trying to distract and buy myself time, I playfully tackled my friend to the floor. My friend was charmed by the playful gesture and seemed willing to reconcile. Once my friend looked over and saw the journal on the ground, however, I knew it was all over. I'd never seen hatred like that in someone's eyes before. I knew in an instant what I had done and what it had cost me.

I don't blame people for hating me. I hate myself a little. Not everything destructive in my life was my fault or anything I would have done differently, but some of it I deeply regret.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sociopaths in the news: OJ Simpson

California attorneys owe their current clients a duty of confidentiality, which is maybe why it took OJ's former attorney and good friend Robert Shapiro years to admit, "he's a sociopath."
Simpson’s former criminal attorney, Robert Shapiro, night before last at a party celebrating Mickey Rourke’s Golden Globe win. I asked Shapiro, who led the Simpson “Dream Team” in 1994-95 that got Simpson acquitted of double murder, what he thought of his former client in retrospect.

Shapiro was quick to respond. “He’s a sociopath,” Shapiro said, surprisingly.

Did Shapiro always think Simpson was a sociopath, I wondered? Shapiro smiled. “What do you think?” he answered rhetorically.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tony from Skins = portrait of a teenage sociopath

I recently finished watching the first series of the British television show Skins, which features the game playing of a young sociopath. He is smart, charming, promiscuous, manipulative, risk seeking, without regard for the safety of himself or others, deceitful, and lacks remorse for the problems he causes for others, presumably only for his own pleasure or gain. He quotes sociopathic literary references:
Shakespeare: Conscience is but a word that cowards use, Devised at first to keep the strong in awe.

Nietzsche: The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
His friends admire him but are afraid of him:
Sid: You freak me out sometimes.
Tony: But it's never dull, is it?
And in his description of himself:
Life in Bristol is boring as sh**, so you gotta make your own fun. Keep it interesting. Try new things. I think that the best things happen when you're the one in control. My best mate Sid loves to do whatever I tell him, it's pretty safe. Actually, most of my friends do what I tell them to do. After all, I'm Tony Stonem. Michelle is the sexiest girl in school and, of course, she's my girlfriend - wouldn't have it any other way. Occasionally I do the reading thing and right now it's La Nausee by Jean-Paul Sartre.
Tony is a very accurate depiction of a teenage sociopath who is enamored with his talents and ability to control his friends. He is also very textbook in his propensity to overreach in his game playing and his recklessness in choosing targets and in not bothering to remain anonymous -- things that more mature sociopaths have learned are worth extra care.

The only reason I hesitated in diagnosing him as a sociopath is that I wondered whether he was a narcissist instead. Narcissism and sociopathy can be very similar in how they manifest themselves. a narcissist supposedly
1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Sociopaths can also seem to have many of these qualities. Sociopaths may be more discreet in real life, but as some readers have noticed, sociopaths can frequently seem full of themselves, particularly when writing blogs about themselves. The real distinction between a sociopath and a narcissist is not the whats but the whys. Sociopath traits result from faulty emotional wiring and narcissist traits result from self delusion. I think this difference is illustrated very well here. Without hearing the inner monologue of decision-making, it is hard to tell whether someone is a sociopath or just a narcissist.

Here's why I think Tony is a sociopath rather than a narcissist: when one of his schemes falls apart in a big way, he tells his friend Sid, "I know I'm a wanker, but you all like me that way." To me, that sort of self-awareness can only be found amongst sociopaths.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Thoughts on Obama

Some random thoughts on the inauguration of American President Obama:
Aldous Huxley: At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols.

Henry Brooks Adam: It is always good men who do the most harm in the world.

Mary Wollstonecraft: Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil. No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.

Rene Descartes: The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.

William Penn: To do evil that good may come of it is for bunglers in politics as well as morals.
But then again, I am not a huge fan of change.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sociopaths love mind games

Sociopaths are known for playing mind games, but why? Is it boredom? Is it because we happen to be very good at it and people generally like to do the things they happen to be very good at? For instance, this comment from a reader:
Ive just figured out Im a Socio, Im not really bothered by it(How can one miss what one has never had?). Now that I know... I feel empty. Well I do feel something, The Games, Oh the thrill of the games. But everything else seems like shallow water in comparison (its there just not as strong as others I expect).

Im twenty-two, rather gifted in games. I was always like I am ;) I learned from two game players... As the Caterpillar would say; "Whoo Are You?"

Am I uncommon?
-Anonymous.
If you mean are sociopaths uncommon, then no, they are all around you in different shapes and sizes. If you mean are there other people who make game playing one of their primary activities, then no, again you are not alone. One might say that entire cultures were built on a predilection for game playing, most notably Gypsies. But who doesn't enjoy a well-executed con? For instance, the man who "sold" the Eiffel Tower, Count Victor Lustig:
Everything turns gray when I don't have at least one mark on the horizon. Life then seems empty and depressing. I cannot understand honest men. They lead desperate lives, full of boredom.
Of course, be aware that there are consequences to game playing, like dying of pneumonia in Alcatraz.

Sociopath quote of the day: ruthless

Those who seek to achieve things should show no mercy.

-- Kautilya

Friday, January 16, 2009

Misreading the signs

In this post I talk about successfully sparring with sociopaths using emotional misdirection. I got the following response dismissing the effectiveness of that tactic:
Just because one person feeds you indirect or false information does not mean they will win. What about the other hundreds of people observed before? A sociopath doesn't learn when they've done something wrong because they either gain pleasure from it or honestly see no wrong in it, but this does not mean that they simply do not learn.

Lying to a sociopath and thinking you will win is stupid. What has the sociopath been doing his or her entire life? Lying. Unless they end up falling into a highly-narcissistic lifestyle, they are going to recognize a liar and will immediately trump them due to their amount of comfort and experience with lying that an empath would not have.

Your "battle tactics" seem more like a way of defeating you rather than sociopaths as a whole.
Right, that last sentence is probably the most true. But am I really so alone in that? I mean, other empathy challenged individuals like aspergers and autistics also frequently misinterpret emotional cues and are easy to trick. I make emotional/social errors like that in the weirdest circumstances. For instance, this conversation with a friend:
Friend: Why do black men always scream at me? Like, whenever in the street? It's a weird social thing, no?

M.E.: They scream at you?

Friend: Well, like, at the grocery store today, I walk past this black man who was just buying groceries and he starts yelling: hey girl? shopping? shop til you drop, I know you can! And on and on until I got into the store. And this happens a lot. It's a weird racial thing, no? The whole yelling thing. Black men do this.

M.E.: I guess they do. I just always felt like they were my friends, but thinking back on it now, they were strangers.

Friend: The screaming black men?

M.E.
: Yeah

Friend
: No, strangers.

M.E.
: Yeah, I don't have any male black friends then. That's too bad.
EDIT: not like I ever thought these people were friends or acquaintances. I mean that there was an emotional/social illusion such that I forgot they were strangers yelling at me.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Drugs, eating disorders, and burn victims

I regularly cull through photos of drug addicts, anorexics, and burn victims (let's be honest, bulimics, you're not horrifyingly skinny enough). My drug addict of choice is the crystal meth user and his rotting-out-of-his-face teeth. These pictures are the result of no one stepping up to help a drug addict, and it’s hard to look away.I think everyone likes to stare at the macabre, even empaths. They're all images of human destruction, of course: the drug addicts show the effects of a demon, the eating disordered show the effects of a mental weakness, and the burn victims reflect our own inhumanity back at us.

But I do feel like I get a unique pleasure from gazing upon them. I think I like the notion that I can easily understand how bad their lives are. If sociopaths like me can understand their pain, then they and the similarly afflicted may be the only people immune to a sociopath's exploits. They're so bad off even a sociopath can feel sorry for them, somewhat. At least they have that to cheer them up!


Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.