Showing posts with label manipulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manipulation. Show all posts

Thursday, October 15, 2009

If You Kill My Demons You will Kill My Angels Too

I snuck a peek at the comment page recently. I see a lot of dialogue between empaths and sociopaths, which to me is really groundbreaking. Where have you ever seen this done outside of clinics where specialists being the only ones interacting? So I want to feed this discussion some food for thought.

Since I know M.E. best I'll talk about myself. I've always loved myself. Yes, people would call it narcissistic. I do believe I'm the greatest person who's lived. Sometimes I've gotten a little god complex. That's just how I am, and I'm not really going to apologize for it. I wake up everyday and I feel like I'm amazing. I channel this energy to focusing on being the best in anything I take part in. I don't try to be the best. I am the best. In doing so I will do everything and find a way to get there. This is my way of making who I am positive.

I can manipulate people. More than that, I do manipulate people. Everyday, every week, every month, and every year. The medical community calls this 'superficial charm.' But charm to me can't be defined as superficial. Either you are charming or you're not. People like charming people -- that's why they give them things so selflessly. When you have the power to persuade people to do and give you what you want it's easy to abuse it. For empath readers I want you to imagine what it's like to have everyone love you right off the bat, and want to do things you want them to do. Would you manipulate people to give you money? Would you manipulate people into sleeping with you under false pretenses? Would you honestly tell me you wouldn't get tempted to justify reasons to fuck them over? Most people would. You make up excuses. "Oh well I heard they stole from so and so," or, "He's there with someone I don't like," or, "Well I'll try to make it up to them." You will find ways of demonizing the people you victimize until they seem like the worst people you're ever met. You don't feel guilt, just justification. The positive side is people can channel this feeling into businesses to sell products, make effective advertising, diplomacy, intelligence, etc.

I am emotionally shallow. The commenters are completely correct. I'm not emotionless. I don't walk around with a exoskeleton under my skin saying, "You will be terminated." I feel what I make myself feel, when I'm supposed to feel it. Sometimes I can't. I can't feel for other people. I don't get excited with people, or feel someone's pain when they cry. I get angry at them because I can't understand. A less extreme example of this: recently someone close to me had their identity stolen and bank account wiped out, and their rent was due the next day. The bank wouldn't refund it till they investigated for few months. The person was crying and looked at me for comfort, and I thought, "What do they want from me? I hope they won't ask me for money." After a while I asked what they wanted me to say. The person looked at me like I was retarded, and I got angry. I told them, "Just get it done and don't worry about things you can't change." The person got angry and left.

What I lack in my own capacity for emotion I make up for in manipulating others'. When I was younger I abused the hell out of this. I could make people happy, excited, sad, depressed, disturbed, hurt etc. It was fun. It still is sometimes, but I don't abuse it that much any more. I cut people into pieces with things I've said. I would save things I knew they were insecure about and cut them deeply with is when I didn't get what I wanted. One person told me that they would rather have me hit them then tell them the things I said. A emotional bully, I guess you can call me. I admit that I did it. I didn't know I was doing it till I took more time to learn about who I was and why I do what I do. Now I use it sparingly.

Sociopaths have a lot of power over people, like it or not. Denying that power exists doesn't improve the life of either side of the fence. I denied it and I was out of control. What I realized is that by acknowledging who I was, and wielding that power for what was effective and not just destructive, I could become more powerful. To have true power you need to have control over yourself first. People trying to change that power instead of focusing it will only meet in failure.

I think it's important for sociopaths to accept themselves the way they are, and not try to change. There isn't a 'cure' for sociopathy because there's no way to change someone's complete identity. Change who they are: their tendencies, their motives, their behaviors, and even their feelings. Is it possible? Perhaps, but is that the kind of power you want substituted for natural human behaviour?

Friday, July 24, 2009

Criminal sociopathy (part 3)

(cont.)

This is really what I wanted to write to you about. I have many crazy stories, because I've had a crazy life. The turning point in my life came when I actually understood and listened to those words. When I went to prison and had time to understand myself. That's not to say I'm not living a lie right now. Its to say I know I live the lie and I don't give a shit. Right. Like you said before, we all wear masks. Our sociopath brains are just programmed to take the information we receive and process it in certain distorted ways. The key is understanding that this happens and trying to learn our own brain's proclivities and those of people that we are trying to relate with or control.

I've stopped denying that I manipulate people. I know I do and I'm proud I can. Because of that I'm able to focus it on people I need to instead of doing it to everyone. Yes! So much of the maturation of a sociopath is learning how to focus our energies.

In reality people need to be manipulated and they want to be. So true. A good example I use with people is seduction. Everyone wants to be seduced. Also magic and religion. Everyone wants to be tricked, to believe in miracles. Even I do.

The difference between a sociopath and other personality types is just the amazing ability to manipulate on a grand scale and even manipulate ourselves. To believe that we are the best and the most amazing person in the world and put it into practice. his is something that a lot of low functioning sociopaths don't understand: you can manipulate yourself just as easily as you can manipulate those around you. iIn some ways it is harder because you are aware you are doing it and can fight against it, in some ways it is easier because you know yourself better and so can push your own buttons more effectively. Everyone does this on a small scale -- rewarding themselves for "good behavior," buying themselves an ice cream cone for job well done, etc. As a sociopath, though, I would say that this is the primary way in which I control my actions instead of giving in to every impulse.

We lie because people want the lie. They can't handle reality and for that reason they can't handle truth. Don't want it, wouldn't believe it even you told them it. People have their own view of the world, and if what you are telling them doesn't comport, they will just think you are lying or are ignorant.

I don't need to feel guilty or remorseful and I don't try to because everyone else thinks I should. People love me more for it. I get any girl I want. When I tried to go legit I got any job I wanted. I lied on applications, and elaboratly lied on interviews. I lie to my parents so much they think I own my own business when really I sell drugs. I change the stories about how I'm at the club networking for production companies to hook them up with DJs when really I'm there hustling.

Currently I'm using the clubs and my clients to practice manipulation even more. I get people hooked on coke at the club and call them to tempt them later in the week to buy more. I don't do the product myself and when they ask me why I tell them its out of respect for the customer. I tell them coke dealers who do their own stuff rip off the customer, which is true. The lie is the fact I don't do it because I don't need drugs to feel amazing I already feel that way. Excessive amounts of serotonin and propensity to feel euphoria. I always give people the lie that they seem most likely to believe, which is usually the one that is most complimentary to them.

I sell false self esteem to them that lasts a hour or two before their back to their pathetic life of misery. As for respecting the customer I lost respect for them the minute they bought the first 20 bag I used to get them hooked. if they had it at all.

I study personlaties, which is what's getting me into psychology. I understand people even though they'll never understand me (nor do I want them to). Me too, although sometimes I actually want to be understood. Or at least appreciated/admired.

Me and my homies call it putting people together. They do it on a small scale cuz I just started teaching them. I ask people questions about their life. I love the imagery of you teaching your thug friends all about psychology.

People like talking bout themself honestly(this rants one of the few times I actually talked about myself honestly), or sometimes dishonestly but they can't lie to me. It is amazing how willing people are to talk about themselves. They must realize how it puts them at a disadvantage. It can't all be motivated by narcissism. I have found that many empaths would rather be at a disadvantage, or at least would rather you have control over a relationship rather than them. Why that is, I have no idea.

I can see through almost any bullshit. One of a sociopath's most useful/deadly talents.

I let them talk and listen till I figure them out. I've discovered many personality types and how to identify them. How to find insecurities. How to exploit them or even how to fix them. Ha, it is so natural, isn't it? People ask how we do it, but it's hard to explain. I think it is because we just have no preconceived notions about people. Most people think that others are like them. We know that almost no one is like us, so we never make that mistake. People are always shocked at what I immediately recognize about them. Things that they think are absolutely private. With an artist friend, I immediately asked him why his paintings were monochromatic. He was shocked that he had never noticed that about them before (I was shocked too). I notice patterns, I make connections. I know why you didn't go through with your plastic surgery, why you refuse to fault your daddy for anything, when you are giving excuses and when you are telling the truth. And I know it within the first minutes of knowing you.
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