tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post7863635322507130006..comments2024-03-28T00:33:57.308-07:00Comments on Sociopath World: The Gervais Principle (part 1)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-29140040059681244992012-12-29T13:42:14.722-08:002012-12-29T13:42:14.722-08:00My ER visit was a minor cardiac arrest issue. I...My ER visit was a minor cardiac arrest issue. I'm not sure what you're referring to there with the fix it question. If you mean the story you wrote, then no, leave it it's great.<br /><br />I've been violent to my family. I've severed all contact now.Ellicithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13206004731416673716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-21144574365944810802012-12-29T10:30:45.475-08:002012-12-29T10:30:45.475-08:00oh ok. I am not sure i am retraumatizing now and i...oh ok. I am not sure i am retraumatizing now and it will be harmful to my health and cause more cycling.<br /><br />Yrsterday night, just before i wrote the entry, I had a mug of rage. threw a wine bottle up and down my place. It would not break. Finally it did but only after i dented plaster wall. It finally smashed it to smitherines when i bashed it a few times on floor. Also, i slammed doors till the glass fell out of a fixture in them. Then i was yelling very badly at my family guest for having triggerd me in a subtle way. I punished with heavy accusations and yelling ..and the violence with the breaking things. then i let her skulk and clean up all the glass. Twas merry.<br /><br />do you do violence around family?<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-5356888499478041092012-12-29T10:07:09.086-08:002012-12-29T10:07:09.086-08:00does retraumatizing cause person with mood disorde...does retraumatizing cause person with mood disorders to cycle? they say that a manic break more than 2x will cause more and more. If that is the case, I am out. I do not want the slip and slide in and out of retraumatizing myself. It fucking sucks. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-55759835793130634582012-12-29T10:03:38.692-08:002012-12-29T10:03:38.692-08:00You are doing great, Fake Medusa. Keep going. You...You are doing great, Fake Medusa. Keep going. You are not alone. Many people understand, but are too afraid to write. You are helping them, too. You just helped me because I feel very weird, today, too. Go Gurl <3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-2246523217779152542012-12-29T10:00:03.312-08:002012-12-29T10:00:03.312-08:00I see.
Its starting to make more sense now... kind...I see.<br />Its starting to make more sense now... kinda.<br /><br />I like that it's light and fun. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-31479670471621843812012-12-29T09:44:09.743-08:002012-12-29T09:44:09.743-08:00Monica and Elicit:
you are right in that i am feel...Monica and Elicit:<br />you are right in that i am feeling so much pain and my awareness is helping me acknowledge trauma. I am feeling so bad but no Ellicit, i am not an ER person right now . I have too much at stake to seek faux shelter there, i do not want tranquilizers, i do not need more chemicals because i am neither manic nor depressed enough, i don't need to be on suicide watch, etc. (I had never needed that in the past, but they always do it.)<br /><br />-I know i prob seem suicidal.<br /><br />I am extremely tough person. I wonder sometimes whether too tough, but not sure what that means or costs me, tbh. But that is me so i will choose to love it. <br /><br />I read a quote that said something like "with love there is always pain." I understand this from my relationship with myself here. I must be loving myself a lot. <br /><br />I feel justified at the end of the day. i can say finally I am not crazy, the toxins are there, they got in, they got the better of me. Old therapist did not make a great enough dent. He also said they will always be there i just need to accept and be aware of them. So forever I used to believe i had to accept them. I refuse. I do not want to disappoint myself. <br /><br />Am i setting myself up for failure? <br /><br /><br />The amount of pain has definitely thrown me for a loop. I do not want to be taken over by the past, be a whoa is me person. I really despise that. -so I am sorry to blame people here. I have triggers just like everyone. <br /><br />Fake Medusa is spinning her urine into gold. Urine = sweat, tears, excrement, poison. I was thinking about having her explain this to Rich, but i like him dangling in the dark. <br /><br />She has to do the lasso bit to get it over the railing because she is short, and also there is something strong and celebratory about lassoing, harnessing, etc.<br /><br /> <br />THank you for helping me see that and explain it, Ellicit. I should fix ? Fake MEdusanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-45541163086374004642012-12-29T09:20:11.364-08:002012-12-29T09:20:11.364-08:00:-):-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-45164290257856220652012-12-29T09:17:22.650-08:002012-12-29T09:17:22.650-08:00I see what you are saying. I am going to think abo...I see what you are saying. I am going to think about it. Thanks Zoe <3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-32855849329180045222012-12-29T09:14:48.688-08:002012-12-29T09:14:48.688-08:00i'm aware that i exist beyond my thoughts, tha...i'm aware that i exist beyond my thoughts, that's all. <br /><br />sometimes i get so caught up in my thoughts that when i come out of them it feels like coming down from some high, or out of some trance. but then the thoughts come, powerful and compelling, and i fall quickly into their grip again. <br /><br />monica, you put your thoughts to work to try and feel again to come out of being numb. but everything that you think you are, the feeling and the numb, is created from your thoughts and only your thoughts keep it going. it actually takes less effort to let go of the thoughts but that means letting of the good illusions as well as the bad. no one wants to do that. <br /><br />kind of like the monkey with it's hand in the jar, holding the banana. the jar is the numb, the banana the precious feelings. <br /><br />a moment of freedom from thought is worth everything else. i think this is what we're after when we do drugs, but drugs just don't do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-13559934545498571182012-12-29T08:41:50.124-08:002012-12-29T08:41:50.124-08:00Please explain, Zoe. What do you mean?Please explain, Zoe. What do you mean?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-40638406993355592052012-12-29T08:28:50.665-08:002012-12-29T08:28:50.665-08:00Every 10 seconds or so, she stopped her pee mid-st...<b><i>Every 10 seconds or so, she stopped her pee mid-stream,</i></b><br /><br />yikesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-9762385208620355022012-12-29T08:26:46.834-08:002012-12-29T08:26:46.834-08:00Rich's eyes were now staring wider than a full...<b><i>Rich's eyes were now staring wider than a full psychopath's. </i></b><br /><br />lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-18421275204544522552012-12-29T08:24:17.685-08:002012-12-29T08:24:17.685-08:00i think i use this place like a kind of koan.
wh...i think i use this place like a kind of koan. <br /><br />while some here are trying to figure out what side of the fence they are on, i keep wondering is there really a fence? i don't really see the fence. <br /><br />i pretend to believe in the fence only because it's real to others. but it's mostly just pretend to me. it's just playing with concepts - the most dangerous drug there is. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-11814192696751510572012-12-29T07:59:15.458-08:002012-12-29T07:59:15.458-08:00Why did he\she do the cowboy lasso hoop thing? I d...Why did he\she do the cowboy lasso hoop thing? I don't get it.<br /><br />And what's 'gold' supposed to mean?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-45551329403813100602012-12-29T07:38:23.284-08:002012-12-29T07:38:23.284-08:00I hear you, Ellicit. I see that my abuse, although...I hear you, Ellicit. I see that my abuse, although bad, was not at the level of many people on here. I respect the people who had severe trauma.<br /> The main reason I could go through re-feeling what I have is the feeling( and belief) that God is a real presence and a real force and He is with me. If not, there is no way I could have felt the feelings of betrayal I did.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-48190474756366511902012-12-29T07:25:54.518-08:002012-12-29T07:25:54.518-08:00Fair enough, Monica. I mention this only to point ...Fair enough, Monica. I mention this only to point out that, as you say, it is a matter of different strokes for different folks. Also, following the advice to try and get in touch with and reexperience feelings from original extreme trauma can have a disastrous effect upon some people if they were to blindly follow such advice. Could find themselves in the ER, for example.Ellicithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13206004731416673716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-89205299262583921022012-12-29T07:12:28.580-08:002012-12-29T07:12:28.580-08:00I hear you, Ellicit, but I disagree, as I feel tha...I hear you, Ellicit, but I disagree, as I feel that this is the ONLY path. Sometimes, there is a single route to get to certain destinations. The only worthwhile goal, to me, is to feel from one's own gut. If not, one won't be free.<br /><br /> I did not have the level of trauma as some people on here, so I do respect that some people have had much worse situations than I did and may not be able to( nor desire to) do it this way, but I do believe it is the only way to true health and inner freedom. That is my opinion and I stand by it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-29424436026500438132012-12-29T07:02:00.901-08:002012-12-29T07:02:00.901-08:00... You are probably in quite a bit of disassociat...<b>... You are probably in quite a bit of disassociation ... In order to come out of it, you must feel the original pain</b><br /><br />With all due respect, Monica, your advice holds for those who are neurotic, and not those who are experiencing pervasive dissoiation from extreme trauma. For those people feeling the original pain is likely to retraumatize them. That's why modern therapeutic techniques for such people are cognitive based like CBT and mindfulness (DBT).Ellicithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13206004731416673716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-89637359608341208712012-12-29T06:55:36.685-08:002012-12-29T06:55:36.685-08:00Holy moly, Fake Medusa. Keep going. I am always ri...Holy moly, Fake Medusa. Keep going. I am always riveted by your entries.Ellicithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13206004731416673716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-49288381622363783662012-12-29T04:49:27.142-08:002012-12-29T04:49:27.142-08:00AnonymousDecember 29, 2012 12:01 AM
I have rememb...AnonymousDecember 29, 2012 12:01 AM<br /><br />I have remembered this comment every single day since it was made.<br /><br />WHy do things negative stick so much longer than the things positive?<br />I am leaving this place . It is terrible for me.<br /><br />SOciopath here want to make a person hate themself over and over and over . it is part of the sadism. I am tired of hating myself. I do not need another person to do that work, too.<br /><br />Please whoever Monica is please please do not pull me back in. Please do not pay me attention. I do not want pain anymore. <br /><br /><br />Anon<br /> I am going to give you my opinion. You can take it, or leave it. You are probably in quite a bit of disassociation, like I was. You want to run, so you don't have to feel the pain, which is under it. In order to come out of it, you must feel the original pain. You don't want to and you are afraid. I will help you, all that I can. My first suggestion( and it will be an unpopular one) is to find a relationship with God, because the pain is so bad that I don't think people can do it, without that.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-80934190688775278022012-12-29T04:45:24.205-08:002012-12-29T04:45:24.205-08:00Man, Fake Medusa
I love the cream cheese.
You w...Man, Fake Medusa<br /> I love the cream cheese. <br /> You write like a dream----peanut butter and chocolate :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-58661704294925631702012-12-29T00:01:33.112-08:002012-12-29T00:01:33.112-08:00I have remembered this comment every single day si...I have remembered this comment every single day since it was made. <br /><br />WHy do things negative stick so much longer than the things positive?<br />I am leaving this place . It is terrible for me. <br /><br />SOciopath here want to make a person hate themself over and over and over . it is part of the sadism. I am tired of hating myself. I do not need another person to do that work, too.<br /><br />Please whoever Monica is please please do not pull me back in. Please do not pay me attention. I do not want pain anymore. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-28085147910698427422012-12-28T23:52:54.104-08:002012-12-28T23:52:54.104-08:00AnonymousApril 5, 2011 2:59 PM
"And no, you&#...AnonymousApril 5, 2011 2:59 PM<br />"And no, you're not a typical Narcissist. You couldn't be, or you'd be bound to hide from the truth forever."<br /><br /><br />Exremely true, if a narcissist accepted themselves they couldn't live.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-26253466676014420992012-12-28T23:01:38.508-08:002012-12-28T23:01:38.508-08:00I like this one ok. I think I may be able to handl...I like this one ok. I think I may be able to handle a criticism if anybody wants. Fake MEdusanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-36418258652352971182012-12-28T22:53:09.073-08:002012-12-28T22:53:09.073-08:00LOL!LOL!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com