tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post6918225334234973641..comments2024-03-19T05:59:13.602-07:00Comments on Sociopath World: Are Co-dependents and sociopaths a perfect match?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger253125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-77974944924282768232018-09-13T09:14:40.119-07:002018-09-13T09:14:40.119-07:00Although we are just at the end of our roads and w...Although we are just at the end of our roads and we both see them splitting (they aren't capable of being faithful, or capable of seeing how they caused you pain). I am married to a sociopath that has a son. He feels very intense emotions for his child, and also often experiences frustration, anger and joy. But not secondary emotions such as empathy, guilt, shame, or remorse. Sometimes it seems he does, but it is often confusing, when he feels empathy he gives me advice when I rather have support, other times, no empathy and I am just a weight that he doesn't care of need. We have the same careers, but his for some reason is more important than mine... <br />I am so lost right now, before I met him, I was so happy and independent, and I developed a strong co-dependency over time (also caused by narcissist father issues)... and now I try to take the positive from him, I feel I matured emotionally a lot and grew as a person, but also regressed because of the developed co-dependency. I feel like I have been making excuses for him for years and have lost everything because of him, yet I can only blame myself. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-91882838961911432692013-05-15T15:30:21.502-07:002013-05-15T15:30:21.502-07:00Hi, Neat post. There's an issue together with ...Hi, Neat post. There's an issue together with your site in internet explorer, might test this? IE still is the marketplace chief and a big component of other people will pass over your fantastic writing due to this problem.<br /><br />Stop by my page :: <a href="http://www.ibiblio.org/wikiworld/index.php?title=User:MikkiJoll" rel="nofollow">password Finder</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86070151800631769322013-05-12T04:17:06.960-07:002013-05-12T04:17:06.960-07:00Hey there, You have done an incredible job. I'...Hey there, You have done an incredible job. I'll definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I'm <br />sure they will be benefited from this web site.<br /><br />Also visit my blog post: <a href="http://www.canfriends.com/blogs/140985/231747/guide-to-texture-packs-for-minec" rel="nofollow">Minecraft premium</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-12145171978655298832012-05-29T03:40:37.971-07:002012-05-29T03:40:37.971-07:00Thank You for posting this, I too am in the exact ...Thank You for posting this, I too am in the exact same situation as you are and have always needed clarification on our relationship, nobody has understood why it works :) This has helped me understand immensely.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-38189707798191989602010-08-05T15:55:27.152-07:002010-08-05T15:55:27.152-07:00After having a couple of intimate relationships wi...After having a couple of intimate relationships with sociopaths and trying to figure out what the hell is going on, my conclusion is that you are not necessarily a codependent just because you are in a relationship with one of these individuals. Many people who find themselves in these situations are independent but are also inquisitive, investigative, empathetic and respectful. It takes time to finally realize that this sociopath does not think the same way so that in itself lends to a lot of confusion and when you are an empath you like to be sure before you head out the door. I have also come to the conclusion that yes, it might be useful to be a little less emotional from time to time. Maybe a balance is in order. It's too bad an empath and a sociopath cant' come together to raise kids that are a healthy combo of both. I however will not be the one making babies with these people. I think I'd rather be single and alone than have a relationship with another one of these empty souls. But of course... I do still feel empathy for them... So be it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-73149031910003497512009-11-24T05:18:24.935-08:002009-11-24T05:18:24.935-08:00I will correct my own statement since I am the one...I will correct my own statement since I am the one who wrote the email. I was a bit hasty when I described my discovery that sociopaths felt no emotion....I guess at first I was appalled that they didn't feel empathy/sympathy for others the same way I do...that they didn't concern themselves with considering other peoples feelings even if they claimed to "care" about that said person. Of course sociopaths do feel emotion, just not in the same way I do. It was a shock to my own belief system at the time. I guess I was under some sort of delusion that I could bring out the best in most people and that they would be willing to share it with me. Funny enough, co-dependent or sociopath~our methods both serve a self motivated result. <br /><br />The People PleaserAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-50039818178136997052009-11-18T15:11:38.228-08:002009-11-18T15:11:38.228-08:00DB
I hear that a lot. I always ask questions. Its ...DB<br />I hear that a lot. I always ask questions. Its just as exhausting for me. Lol.<br /><br />For me youre interesting cause honestly I see a lot of similarities between you and I and its therefore interesting for me to hear your perspective. Although I am a woman and I think have intense emotions ( even though I can get past them rapidly aswell...). What do you wanna know about my family?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86978209330524699402009-11-18T14:53:05.767-08:002009-11-18T14:53:05.767-08:00Disney:
It wasted time, time I could have spent b...Disney:<br /><br />It wasted time, time I could have spent building and creating the life I deserved. The confusion was a waste because nothing changed. I’ve had these same traits all of my life and I could have saved myself loads of time if I’d known what they meant, why they made me different, why they would never change and why they didn’t need to.<br /><br />Ok, Daniel Birdick feels like he’s been thru some kind of short but intense therapy session. I haven’t so consistently talked about myself to anyone in ages. It’s fuckin draining. Lol Let’s hear why the hell any of this interests you in the first place, your relationship with your family, etc.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-57049054804614074132009-11-18T14:34:58.519-08:002009-11-18T14:34:58.519-08:00DB
Im interested, can you be more specific? Why w...DB<br /><br />Im interested, can you be more specific? Why was the confusion a waste. What did it waste?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-18227375152388673932009-11-18T14:25:58.288-08:002009-11-18T14:25:58.288-08:00Disney:
The waste was from the confusion of tryin...Disney:<br /><br />The waste was from the confusion of trying to shoehorn myself into a mold that doesn’t fit and was never going to. I knew what I was when I hit puberty, then got confused, and now I’m clear again. And I agree with you. It’s not a waste of time working thru childhood bullshit.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-43359272630346790762009-11-18T13:35:16.785-08:002009-11-18T13:35:16.785-08:00DB
I dont have a clue what you meant with the fir...DB<br /><br />I dont have a clue what you meant with the first sentence.<br /><br />What was the waste. Career wise, wasted anger, stuff like that I imagine? To be honest i hear a lot of sociopaths looking back and wondering why they wasted so much time on for instance drugs and alcohol, yet it seems so hard for them to make a consistent change. Why dont they just accept they will always be hooked on something.<br /><br />Although when you had abuse directed to you I think its not a waste of time coming to terms with it and I dont think there is a quick way to deal with it. Certainly not from a parent.Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-66841281249861683812009-11-18T11:40:08.881-08:002009-11-18T11:40:08.881-08:00Disney:
You don't understand. I'm good. ...Disney:<br /><br />You don't understand. I'm good. :)<br /><br />When I typed that before I chuckled because I don’t beat myself over anything. Well, scratch that. I do beat myself up over all the time I wasted in my 20’s. Otherwise, I don’t bother with that kind of thing. It’s a waste. My niece is strong and if she can control and channel her anger, she will one day be a force to be reckoned with. Damn, why do I suddenly sound like Darth Sidious?Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-67666360780407512562009-11-18T11:21:50.678-08:002009-11-18T11:21:50.678-08:00DB
Ofcourse you wouldnt communicate it with her.
...DB<br /><br />Ofcourse you wouldnt communicate it with her.<br />Still she will pick up on it. Quite likely.<br />What keeps you from beating yourself up over it?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-701799064343357622009-11-18T11:10:43.474-08:002009-11-18T11:10:43.474-08:00Disney:
I wouldn’t take someone in and then commu...Disney:<br /><br />I wouldn’t take someone in and then communicate that I find them inconvenient. You gotta remember that I’m used to acting. Having said that, I do actually consider it selfish not to help a child being physically abused due to inconvenience. When you’re in that situation (being beat up) it doesn’t help to hear that someone might have shielded you from it but didn’t because he had better things to do. I don’t exactly beat myself up over it either. My niece has survived so far and she’ll be stronger for it. If she can get a reign on that anger. I do from time to time try to advise her on that.<br /><br />I don’t talk to my sister about her issues normally. Although I have noticed that a few well placed truths can destabilize her and her husband emotionally. It’s something I’ve squared away for future reference. I find the power of denial fascinating.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-22972567488694537652009-11-18T09:59:35.396-08:002009-11-18T09:59:35.396-08:00DB
Oh and btw I dont see how its selfish per se. ...DB<br /><br />Oh and btw I dont see how its selfish per se. Why on earth would you take someone in if you find it inconvenient. She would feel it and feel unwanted and what not. Thats not helping anybody. This way you are of more use to her and you show her you care about her because those moments you actually do. Correct?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-18605003805576641302009-11-18T09:53:06.512-08:002009-11-18T09:53:06.512-08:00DB
why do you bother discussing it with your sist...DB<br /><br />why do you bother discussing it with your sister when she (sister) cant help herself either.Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-6284591138398188652009-11-18T09:45:36.066-08:002009-11-18T09:45:36.066-08:00Disney:
Because it would have inconvenienced me t...Disney:<br /><br />Because it would have inconvenienced me to do so. And being honest about that fact a few years ago was, believe it or not, the first time it really started to dawn on me how truly selfish I was and that it didn’t bother me that I was that way.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-57607032661415563412009-11-18T09:28:10.257-08:002009-11-18T09:28:10.257-08:00DB
Why didnt you take her in?DB<br /><br />Why didnt you take her in?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-32085844377410487012009-11-18T09:15:16.854-08:002009-11-18T09:15:16.854-08:00Disney:
My niece’s anger has been problematic for...Disney:<br /><br />My niece’s anger has been problematic for her in the sense that it’s gotten her taken away by police one time. We all thought she was going to end up in a foster home. My sister has been abusive to her, and one day she decided she wasn’t going to take it anymore and fought back. Now she lives with her paternal grandmother. (Gotta love that whole cycle of abuse thing.) I’ve even seriously considered the possibility that she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She’s very aggressive in her response to almost every adult in her life now, save me.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-76888623809401411202009-11-18T08:55:51.079-08:002009-11-18T08:55:51.079-08:00DB
Who doesnt have insane anger during puberty?DB<br /><br />Who doesnt have insane anger during puberty?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-3967057844923487092009-11-18T08:38:34.167-08:002009-11-18T08:38:34.167-08:00Disney:
No. I grew up in a city. But our family ...Disney:<br /><br />No. I grew up in a city. But our family took vacations yearly. My first time going up into the mountains in Denver, CO was great. Although I was just a kid then, I distinctly remember wandering away from my family to go look out at the vastness of it all. I don’t remember the exact location, but I do remember it was magnificent. It just occurred to me that my best memories involving mountains and oceans also feature zero people. That’s probably no accident. <br /><br />My little sister… we inherited our “problem” traits honestly. She’s got more of the narcissistic stuff while I’ve got more of the cold fish/amoral stuff. It’s odd between us. I don’t think I have much feeling for her one way or the other, although of course I pretend to. She’s way too self involved to reflect much on anything she does or feels for me or anyone else. I’ve had some issues with the way she’s treated my 14 year old niece though. My sister has taken a lot of her unconscious self hatred out on her daughter. I also see some of myself in my niece. We have honest discussions about some of her observations of the adult world, many of which are pretty astute. My niece is no introvert. Her anger is definitely pointed outward, while mine was turned inward at her age.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-87255536579718099522009-11-18T08:12:18.868-08:002009-11-18T08:12:18.868-08:00DB
You grew up in the woods?
On another note: ho...DB<br /><br />You grew up in the woods?<br /><br />On another note: how would you describe the feelings you have for your sister. And how are hers for you.Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-38943583379696535212009-11-18T08:06:52.686-08:002009-11-18T08:06:52.686-08:00Disney:
My brief few days in Jamaica (for my sist...Disney:<br /><br />My brief few days in Jamaica (for my sister’s wedding) was restorative in the sense that certain parts of nature calms my mind, letting it rest a bit. It’s like meditation without actually sitting down to meditate. Oceans and mountains tend to have that effect on me.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-58937829953175426682009-11-18T08:01:55.873-08:002009-11-18T08:01:55.873-08:00DB
What do you in particular mean by restorative,...DB<br /><br />What do you in particular mean by restorative, that specific holiday?Disneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-45233125188743869672009-11-18T07:50:23.615-08:002009-11-18T07:50:23.615-08:00Disney:
If you’re asking if I party like it’s 199...Disney:<br /><br />If you’re asking if I party like it’s 1999, then no. lol Look, you have to remember that these comments are me intellectually interacting around the subject of a few personality traits. Most of the time when I comment here I try to be rational, more precise than I am in my normal speech, and explorative on occasion. Trust me, I don’t talk like this in my offline life. I rarely talk about stuff like this as a matter of fact. And I NEVER mention antisocial traits to anyone, although a few of my closer friends have a bit of a clue. I probably sound robotic when I’m commenting here. But believe it or not, when I’m with family and friends, I know how to laugh and joke around and make all the appropriate noises in conversation. <br /><br />Last year I did go to Jamaica for the first time and I loved it. I stayed at a lovely resort, the water was wonderful, the sunrises spectacular. It was quiet, peaceful and restorative. I went to Disney World a little over a month ago with my 6 year old nephew. We had a good time riding everything.Daniel Birdicknoreply@blogger.com