tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post445507185771809778..comments2024-03-18T07:07:07.291-07:00Comments on Sociopath World: Q&A Day!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger179125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86359294572794684792014-10-28T01:32:47.152-07:002014-10-28T01:32:47.152-07:00M.E. Can you please expand on this? I just told th...M.E. Can you please expand on this? I just told this person that I can see through the "mask" and he seems rather ashamed of it, won't even look at me in the eyes anymore. I thought he might be flattered to have somebody to confide into but he seems to continue to distrust... Is intimacy with a sociopath impossible? will the mask always be a barrier? Morbid Polarnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-68018502954673032762014-10-11T23:52:09.284-07:002014-10-11T23:52:09.284-07:00I just found a clue "remembered and imagined ...I just found a clue "remembered and imagined images come tagged with affect"... this comes from an interesting article that says that rational decision making is an integration of both, emotions and analytical (unemotional) thoughts. "Risk as Analysis and Risk as Feelings: Some thoughts about affect, reason, risk, and rationality" by Paul Slovic in the journal Risk Analysis. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-27328327403130001222014-06-02T15:35:52.070-07:002014-06-02T15:35:52.070-07:00this website is worth 30000dollar thatsalotthis website is worth 30000dollar thatsalotAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-9456320896962490622014-05-31T21:12:10.496-07:002014-05-31T21:12:10.496-07:00Very interesting, the breaking point when I realiz...Very interesting, the breaking point when I realized he is a sociopath is when he smiled at me and I saw the muscles flexing towards the back of the cheeks with an intense stare in the eyes, I realized that there was no feeling behind that expressionAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-11267864291658056512014-05-29T06:17:49.098-07:002014-05-29T06:17:49.098-07:00You also talk in your answer about about the fact ...You also talk in your answer about about the fact that the sociopath needs to learn about his own inner self. I find it fascinating that you mentioned this. A few months back, I had a similar exchange with the sociopath in my life. Not from his point of view exactly, but from mine. I tried to explain how it felt to be at the receiving end of his attention: it always feels like it is about me, never about him. He never discloses his objectives or his wants (apart from all encompassing goals of money and power). <br />Now after what you said, it makes sense. Most likely, he does not exactly know himself. He has this image of himself of what and how he wants other people to see him, how and who he thinks he should be, an image that shifts slightly depending on his environment. I also noticed he is completely unable to mix his personal and professional life. It must be so confusing. No wonder he feels like being bored is stressful. When you are bored, you have to face yourself and reflect on who you are and what you want. I can understand that seeing this very blurry image of yourself can actually cause a certain amount of perhaps fear and certainly discomfort. Hence always wanting to see and learn new things, study and affects others, travel, anything to keep your mind occupied so you don't have to face the blurriness and emptiness. I hope I understood you correctly. <br /><br />I don't feel I can discuss the details of my relationship with the sociopath in a public blog. That would be breaking the (rather small) amount of trust he has been able to put in me over the years, but your input is really helping me, and potentially him in the future if I am able (and allowed!!!) to convey those thoughts. I thank you for this. <br /><br />OldAndWise <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-46082699296148060682014-05-29T06:08:13.463-07:002014-05-29T06:08:13.463-07:00Yes, M.E., I think I understand what you are sayin...Yes, M.E., I think I understand what you are saying. <br />Your advice is for a sociopath to never use his seduction and manipulation skills with a person with whom he needs or wants to build a long term relationship, for instance a long lasting friendship or work relationship, or with a new family member, unless it is consensual, which is obviously very hard to ascertain.<br />It makes sense, because from the empath perspective, once they realize that the sociopath has no emotional investment in the relationship (or that the investment is clearly very different from the way in was portrayed), they feel completely humiliated. The emotional trust is broken and cannot be rebuilt.<br />You have mentioned that a sociopath can be obsessed with a person, which is probably as close as s/he can get to feeling in love. You have also described the feeling of powerlessness that can overcome a sociopath in certain situations and make them blow a fuse, when they are reminded of rules they have to follow, for instance. Imagine having those two feelings at the same time and towards the same person. <br />And imagine those feelings not going away. You go to sleep with them. You wake up in the middle of the night with them. They are with you in the morning and throughout the day. <br />This is a very powerful and explosive cocktail of neurotransmitters. I bet this describes pretty well the state of mind of a person against whom you have thought you needed a restraining order in the past. <br />Some people cannot recover from it. And they very rarely get support or understanding from anybody around them. They can hardly understand their own feelings, (perhaps because they are so contradictory to each other), let alone put them into words. Sometimes there is shame added to the mix, especially if the person is heterosexual and has fallen for a sociopath of the same sex as he is and particularly if the person is religious. All they want is for it to stop and to get revenge. This is why and how sociopaths are so abhorred by those who have been seduced then used and dropped by one. <br />I have actually just met somebody who feels that way about Lance Armstrong, and he has not even met the guy... very powerful feelings indeed. <br />I have mentioned emotional trust being broken, earlier in this post. This is in contrast with intellectual trust. Most people cannot distinguish between the two. They usually go hand in hand, and cannot be dissociated. I have had to learn to dissociate to two to deal with the sociopath in my life. I found that emotional trust is either all or nothing, and I cannot give this to him. Intellectual trust can be on a scale and is much easier to handle. Now I hope that makes sense to you. I am still working through this myself...<br /><br />OldAndWise Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-42626136588753031322014-05-28T17:08:01.753-07:002014-05-28T17:08:01.753-07:00Zoe:
Apologies for taking so long to reply.
It...Zoe:<br />Apologies for taking so long to reply. <br />It's been a madhouse here.<br /><br />Book sounds pretty interesting. Can you tell a bit more about it?<br />And no, nobody wants to read a perfect book where everything is perfect. Gritty, clever and full of dark humour is my favourite. <br /><br />Erik:<br />Thank you, that's lovely of you to say.<br />I know you have a need for others to like you and many people are pretty full of shit when they talk about love, being non judgmental and acceptance of all. They only do so as long as you agree with them and tell them what they want to hear. But stray from the flock...<br /><br />Oh and I wasn't intending to praise you. Was simply telling you what I really think. Granted, it's probably hard to believe considering all that happened and no, I wouldn't have trusted me as far as I could throw me either. <br />But I made you a promise then and fully intend to keep it.<br /> <br />So basically, the offer stands. If you ever want to talk, no bullshit, no masks, you know where to find me.Bite menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-34632563394973143062014-05-26T12:06:55.050-07:002014-05-26T12:06:55.050-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00519573769456310783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86053728126912459962014-05-26T00:13:17.371-07:002014-05-26T00:13:17.371-07:00I am not entirely sure, but I think there could be...I am not entirely sure, but I think there could be several different aspects contributing to bisexuality. Part of it is a matter of not having a strong preference. Part of it is not wanting to close off the field to a whole 50% of the population. Part of it may be that most people are bisexual, but most people don't feel fine or don't feel inclined to act on it, for whatever reason. Part of it may be narcissism and a desire to mate with same. Part of it is to play at different roles, e.g. being more dominant if female or more submissive if male than hetero relationships typically allow for. I know that one of my favorite parts about hitting on women was the actual dominant hitting on them part. I felt like a predator, going after what I wanted, whereas my usual behavior for hetero relationships was much more passive.<br /><br />I think sociopaths tend to be more sexually uninhibited than sexually aggressive. m.e.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01964556346314549896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-57615092231669340842014-05-26T00:08:34.054-07:002014-05-26T00:08:34.054-07:00I've sort of considered zoophilia, but have ne...I've sort of considered zoophilia, but have never met the right animal that did it for me. If I did, though, I might explore it. <br /><br />This is sort of an odd tangent, but I feel like it will answer your questions better than maybe a direct answer would. One of my relatives is very small, just barely a toddler. Sometimes I change his diaper and sometimes I have given him a bath. It's not really that I feel tempted to explore with this child sexually so much as I wonder, what is his sexual world like? He loves to be touched in certain ways, like baby massages or tickling. What about other ways? In some ways, again to my mind which undoubtedly thinks differently than most people, I wonder why I should deprive him of other forms of sensory stimulation just because there is a taboo for them. But I've spoken about it to people I know (including his mother) and they say that if you build that sort of relationship or open that door with a child, they may expect that interaction from you forever and it may interfere with later in life relationships. So I don't. But I don't feel any disgust or natural aversion to anything like that. <br /><br />I have to say that I tend to be more attracted to things that appeal to the sexual (e.g. your necrophilia example) than the violent (e.g. your blowing people up example). I'm sure this isn't true of all people who experience bloodlust, but it seems like the ones who crave it the most have some sort of sexual response to the violence? But I don't, at least not typically. m.e.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01964556346314549896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-40027289515156022142014-05-26T00:03:15.138-07:002014-05-26T00:03:15.138-07:00Maybe? I actually do have a friend who is scorpio ...Maybe? I actually do have a friend who is scorpio that seems that way to me, such a rigid sense of self and unyielding way of doing things that others naturally sway to her way. But I'm not sure if most scorpios are that way?m.e.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01964556346314549896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-72277711820768040442014-05-26T00:02:05.581-07:002014-05-26T00:02:05.581-07:00I think the answer here is sort of like the answer...I think the answer here is sort of like the answer I was giving to Bob with the story about teaching Sunday School. You are right, there will never be enough energy to keep up a seduction long term. And I think it's very awkward to transition from that type of relationship that is initiated, if not founded, on manipulation to one that is not (see response to anonymous above with keyword transition). So really there can be no place for "manipulation" in a relationship that is meant to be long term -- not at the beginning, not ever. At least that is sort of my opinion right now based on recent experience. Now, I put manipulation in quotes because the definition I am using is the same sort of distinction I was talking to Bob about in the same "Sunday School" post. There is manipulation everywhere, but some of it is sort of consensual. Or a more accurate definition if you are spiritual and believe in souls is that people will not feel like the manipulation is an invasion of their individuality or their personhood if it just leads them to become more "themselves", i.e. allows them to act, behave, or otherwise feel as if someone knows them to their soul. <br /><br />The problem is that most sociopaths see other people, but the sociopath doesn't himself act true to himself. He presents a show or a front for the other party. And he chooses that front based on what the hoped for outcome will be. In order for a sociopath to be less bad manipulative, they have to focus more on self and process of doing whatever it is they personally would like to do, rather than focusing on doing whatever it is that will lead to the best outcome for them. Does that make sense?m.e.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01964556346314549896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-86789730105669951312014-05-25T21:30:21.786-07:002014-05-25T21:30:21.786-07:00"To give advice to a man who asks what to do ..."To give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal — to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself." Hunter S ThompsonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-82572314901735210212014-05-25T21:02:05.212-07:002014-05-25T21:02:05.212-07:00@Erik,
you have a flexible personality right? if ...@Erik,<br /><br />you have a flexible personality right? if so, it can really give you an edge, so be happy.<br /><br />what works for me is focusing on what i want out of life, on goals. who i am comes from that. and on its own is meaningless. i can see how we need to identify others, but why ourselves? why do i care what personality type i am? how will knowing that help me? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-48493814310729993572014-05-25T20:46:23.506-07:002014-05-25T20:46:23.506-07:00also, fixing things isn't as interesting as br...also, fixing things isn't as interesting as breaking them. who wants to read a story about a perfect world with perfect people in it who always do everything right? it's the craziness that makes life interesting. .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-26205450387506967702014-05-25T20:42:36.633-07:002014-05-25T20:42:36.633-07:00@Bite me,
i didn't mean that you're going...@Bite me,<br /><br />i didn't mean that you're going nowhere, but that criticizing goes nowhere. i've done it, and it has never added value to my life. it was at best a cheap boost. it just eats up all your mental time.<br /><br />i'm working on a book, which is why i haven't posted much over the last few months. i don't have a lot of time but need to work on it every day, so work on it in my head a lot with a little help from the blackberry. every moment spent ruminating is a moment that i could have used for writing. so i've gotten out of the habit, i guess, and it's made me realize how much time i invested in something that gave me nothing back. it only pisses everyone off, and at the end of the day doesn't even make you feel good.<br /><br />it's a total mouse wheel. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-23150798421630698622014-05-25T14:35:03.440-07:002014-05-25T14:35:03.440-07:00Erik:
I know you are trying to be sweet and suppor...Erik:<br />I know you are trying to be sweet and supportive, thank you.<br />Yes, I attacked you and did a number on your head when you came here honestly convinced you are a sociopath. I do that.<br />But lets also consider the fact that in seeking the label, you were actually determined to do whatever it took to make it fit.<br />I remember you saying how you were chomping at the bit to go out there and do some burning.<br />Fuck the people, fuck the collateral damage, you were going to show them what a sociopath you are.<br /><br />I still think it's a far better course of action to go through some pain, stop desperately seeking labels, then honestly start examining your motives, desires and everything else for that matter... than to start slashing and burning, actively turning your life to shit and hurting others. For want of a label that makes you feel more powerful and special. <br /><br />And you know something, I actually have respect for you. You are better than some fucking label and now it sound like you are finally starting to play your very own music. <br />And yes, I do like you. And I will not like you any less if you were to show me the "real you". If anything, I will respect you more. You can always do so in private if publicly is a bit too much at the moment.<br />You don't need to worry, I don't go into meltdown mode the minute someone tells me something I don't want to hear :)<br /><br />Zoe:<br />It's good to see you back. Been a while. How have you been? <br /><br />Thanks for the advice. You always did tell me that my family were a bunch of bastards. <br /><br />Yes, I am highly critical. <br />I am more critical of myself than of others. But going nowhere? Not really. Helps me see where changes can be made. <br /><br />In an ideal world, everyone is beautiful *exactly* as they are. All love, peace and acceptance abounding, right? <br />It's a lovely make believe world of unicorns and fairies. The real world doesn't work this way. <br />And I'm curious, if everyone is already beautiful and special and wonderful, where exactly is room for improvement? What about learning from mistakes?<br />Or is it that everyone is beautiful and special and wonderful...as long as they don't disagree with you or tell you something "mean"? <br /><br />If they do, it becomes perfectly fine to throw a huge tantrum. Assume, judge and project to high hell while saying you abhor judging and assuming. Then calling them a war mongering, hate and fear breeding, ugly, manipulative, repulsive malignant narcissist who is "the worst thing the world has to offer" and fills you with wishes that they would stop existing...?<br /><br />And it's also perfectly acceptable to use Erik's voicing that he really wants people to like him, to, subtly, turn him away from this manipulative, tyrannical beast who is inspiring pack mentality, and towards the "don't say anything bad about M.E. and don't support those who do" camp... <br /><br />Riiiigght. Very interesting. <br /><br />So basically, I *must* subscribe to your point of view that it was all great, she did really well. Or at least I shouldn't dare tell what I really think (and was discussed at length on the old forum)? Because it might potentially upset her and turn people off to see negative thoughts expressed? <br /><br />On a sociopath blog, of all places. That was suddenly abandoned by most sociopaths not long after the book came out...for some reason. <br />Oh no wait, it was because she turned out to be female and people couldn't handle that. Yes, that's it! That must be it! Oh curse this society!! :)<br /><br />Come on, Zoe. You know I don't subscribe to the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" mentality. And I don't help people come up with excuses for their failures so they can preserve their ego. <br /> Bite menoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-29688697802895933532014-05-25T14:32:58.276-07:002014-05-25T14:32:58.276-07:00Thanks for all of the information M.E., I have ver...Thanks for all of the information M.E., I have very much enjoyed reading your perspectives on interactions and life. They've helped me out a great deal the past few months and I expect that will continue to be true in the future.<br />-AngieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-76038891860316179932014-05-25T14:27:51.551-07:002014-05-25T14:27:51.551-07:00Could definitely see you liking Short Skirt Long J...Could definitely see you liking Short Skirt Long Jacket, all the contradictions still adding up to a highly desirable but unlikely woman. Love that song.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-62082529371177905702014-05-25T13:49:07.719-07:002014-05-25T13:49:07.719-07:00Ok, I'm his romantic interest but he picks on ...Ok, I'm his romantic interest but he picks on me too, so I'm confused... he treats a couple others like friends and ignores the rest, maybe it's utilitarian, whatever purpose he saw he stuck to it, but I think he likes me nonethelessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-6630771594059205362014-05-25T11:37:09.432-07:002014-05-25T11:37:09.432-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00519573769456310783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-42422813291675756932014-05-25T09:47:31.337-07:002014-05-25T09:47:31.337-07:00@Bite me
the thing about opinions is that people ...@Bite me<br /><br />the thing about opinions is that people buy into them out of pack mentality not because of their truth. the opinion only becomes a truth if you can get enough people to buy into it (or even one person depending on the size of its universe).<br /><br />by publicly criticizing m.e.'s website, her book, her appearance on that stupid t.v. show (and i thought she did well), and whatever else, you are undermining her and her efforts here, and potentially turning off people who read this side. it's a pretty harsh attack.<br /><br />why?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-84732142022574362972014-05-25T09:16:07.601-07:002014-05-25T09:16:07.601-07:00Erik:
So, M.E., it's interesting that you thi...Erik:<br /><br /><b><i>So, M.E., it's interesting that you think the world would be a better place without her, that she represents something so noxious that elimination is seen as the most prudent solution. I imagine there are few people who could elicit such a lengthy response as the one you wrote. Can you not respect her for knowing which buttons to press, and precisely how hard to press them? She's done it deliberately, and told you as much.</i></b><br /><br />careful Erik. just because she made you dance doesn't mean its your music.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-1927865551510330102014-05-25T09:02:46.506-07:002014-05-25T09:02:46.506-07:00@Bite me
IOne of the things I find beautiful is w...@Bite me<br /><br /><b>I<i>One of the things I find beautiful is when people accept those ugly truths about themselves and do something about them.</i></b><br /><br />i have one for you! you're on a go nowhere mouse wheel of criticism that your family put you on. you have to drag others on it to keep it spinning.<br /><br />your ugly is my beautiful. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628748600098131100.post-73421471201643118072014-05-24T21:20:12.434-07:002014-05-24T21:20:12.434-07:00Charles manson is a very emotional guy.Charles manson is a very emotional guy.Jeliza Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03976114169941577450noreply@blogger.com